Our walk together was mostly uneventful after Karin's comment on the summer for several minutes. That was until Karin piped up again to ask a question, "So…what Captain are we going to visit first? Or try to at least."

I shrugged and casually answered her, "I figured we would go in numerical order so that we know which ones we have been to and haven't been to if we have to come back later."

She laughed, "You are really overly organized aren't you?"

I blushed, "I didn't really think that was that unusually organized."
She shrugged, "I guess it is just because I do whatever I feel like doing. I generally don't plan my day. I plan my future but not each day individually."

At that point I had nothing more to add to the subject because all I could think about was how little Karin had changed. She only kept up with the things that mattered to her. The things she couldn't live without. She knew when the next soccer games were. When Yuzu had things to do that Karin was expected to be involved in. When her school tests were. Everything that she knew she needed to do. She wanted to help people and be someone who changed the world but the only world she had the opportunity to change now was the Soul Society. It was sad and disappointing because I knew she would have been able to do it. Then I realized Karin was leaning forward staring at me. I jumped a little because even though she wasn't near my face I wasn't expecting her to watch me.

"What are you looking at?"

She smiled, "You are a deep thinker I can tell. You went off into space after I explained that I don't plan. I don't know what you were thinking about and I don't really want to know but it is kind of like you can see the gears turning in your head when you are thinking."

I blinked, "Okay at this point you are getting awkwardly casual with me and I don't even know how to react. So I think maybe…" I didn't want to say it because I felt like we would never be able to become as good friends as we were before she died, "…this should be a little more formal between us." But I knew that if she continued to be casual with me I would be constantly thrown into the past and I would never be able to focus on the current moment. She seemed to relax and a pang went through my chest. It quickly went away. I was becoming less and less upset about what was my current life. I guess it was just becoming a lot easier to understand.

She smiled awkwardly, "That's kind of a relief. I mean I guess it is just because I don't know how close we were before and stopping the overly casual interactions tells me that we weren't overly close which makes me feel better because it feels like less is expected of me. That isn't really a good way to say that. I guess it is just because I didn't know how far to go and that set me on edge, because it is really awkward to learn that I knew one of the Captains of the Soul Society before I died when I only have memory back to my first day in the Rukongai."

I stayed silent as if nothing she said would have ever bothered me. It wasn't long before we reached Squad Two Barracks and Karin met Captain Soi Fon. The meeting was brief and Karin came back out of the office knowing she didn't want to be under Soi Fon's lead. Most of the other meetings went the same way. There were only a few that Karin seemed to be interested in that she had gotten to talk to by the time she reached my squad. She liked Momo, Shuuhei, and Unohana…in that order according to her. But she also said that she didn't know which squad she liked the best. She said she thought she liked Squad Nine the best but she also really liked something about Momo's bubbly personality. By the time we reached my squad she was ready to stop meeting the Captain's for the day. However, she also wanted to see my office which made me feel incredibly awkward and self-conscious.

But I let her go into the office and look around. Her response was fast, "Wow you really did stay up all night to do that work you hadn't finished didn't you. It is spotless in here."

I shrugged, "It usually is better than this but I didn't have the energy to actually clean the area. I just did the work."

She looked over her shoulder at me, "No personal pictures on the walls or desk?"

"I don't take pictures."

She frowned, "Surely you have picture of the girl you loved, right? I mean she was your girlfriend correct? And you don't have any family pictures either? I'm being too casual again aren't I?"

I looked away from her, and around the walls where her supposed pictures should have been, "I don't have any pictures. Of anyone. She wasn't my girlfriend, I never said that. I have family and you met Momo today. Still no pictures. And yes that is a little personal."

She sighed, "This is going to get a little time to get used to what casual level I am supposed to be at….But really no pictures?"

I shook my head, "I already answered that."

She rolled her eyes, "You need to get some pictures."

I didn't respond. Instead I just stood at the door while Karin decided to look around. She walked around the perimeter of the room and then went to stand behind my desk to see the kind of view a Captain got of the room. It was then that she looked down and saw the journal of hers that the arrancar had told me to read. She froze and began to reach for it. I leaped towards her, "Don't touch it!"

I knew that if she picked it up and opened it she would get a surge of memories back that would cause her pain. But I didn't realize part of the surge had already occurred just by her looking at it. I snatched the journal away from her view and put it behind my back. When she looked up at me she had tears in her eyes and confusion on her face, "What is that?"

I shook my head, "You'll hurt yourself. Let things come to you naturally, don't force them."

She screamed, "What is that!" and then whispered, "Where was I? What happened to me?" and screamed again, "That's mine isn't it!"

I felt nauseous. I was trying to get to know her again and be there when she slowly regained her memories. I wasn't trying to trigger all of her painful memories in one go. I didn't want her to be upset or traumatized but bringing her into my office had done exactly that. Her tears started falling as I was trying to find out a way to answer her questions. I opted to avoid the questions all together, "What did you remember."

She looked like she was going to be sick, "I was in…a room…and he….and the wall….and my shirt…couldn't breathe…back….so much blood"

I had no idea what she was talking about but I knew it wasn't good because every sound she made got weaker and weaker…more and more sad. Then she sniffed, "Then Ichimaru…yes Ichimaru stopped it….and they helped me. They barely knew me but they helped me."

I blinked trying to process the trauma she was speaking of but I didn't understand, "Who helped you?"

Her tears were starting to dry but she still looked confused. She reached towards her head and touched her hair, "Blue. He has blue hair…and a mask. And the other ones has lines on his face and a mask. I don't know…."

I swallowed, "It's Ulquiorra Schifer and Grimmjow Jaquerjacks. Those are faces you should know regardless of memories. They are arrancar they live here in the Soul Society and have for several years. I don't know what was going on and I don't want you to hurt yourself trying to explain it to me. But if you want to go see and thank them I can take you."

She swallowed and nodded, "Yeah just give me a little while."

Then she plopped down in my desk chair. I nodded and went out of the room to hide the journal. When I came back she didn't look like she had cried at all, which made me happy. She looked curiously up at me, "The journal it is mine isn't it?"

I swallowed, "I think so Schifer gave it to me a long time ago. He said someone else gave it to him."

She furrowed her eyebrows together, "But why do you have it?"

I looked up at the ceiling, "I'm not really sure."

She sounded angry when she spoke, "You are lying."

I snapped my head towards her, "I'm not I think it's probably because I didn't know who else to give it to and Schifer didn't want it."

She nodded and looked more confused than ever, "Why not my family?"

My chest clenched, "They didn't want it. Said they wanted to remember you differently."

She tilted her head, "I feel like I should be making some sort of connection about how I knew you through this but I still have no idea. I just don't understand. You must not have been really close to me after all if I remembered the arrancar before I remembered you."

That comment really got to me but she wasn't paying attention and I held my thoughts and emotions inside."

Suddenly, she stood up, "I'm ready to go thank Schifer and Jaquerjacks."

I nodded and motioned for her to follow me as I started to walk towards the arrancars' house.

Hello. I know it has been forever. I am determined to finish this story by the end of this school year. I promise I am going to update more often no joke. I have just been very completely unmotivated. Please review I need to know whether you guys are still interested or even like the story. I would like to know what you guys would like to see in this story. I also would like to know what you guys would like to see me produce after this story. BTW this is only the second story in the All my Fault trilogy and I can not guarantee that everything wrong in this story will be resolved by the end. I love you guys and I hope you are still interested.