Po, the Harem Master

Part 13: Po and the Rivalry

by Neoraichu

Po X Various. The story returns to the beginning of the Kung Fu Panda Movies and Legends of Awesomeness, and asked the question, "what if this was written like a Harem Anime?"

WARNING: This is a strange tale, so READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Po and Fenghuang made their way through the hallways to see how Viper was doing.

"Fenghuang!" said Po, "Why did you have to do that?"

"What?" she asked back innocently, "Encourage Tigress to express her true feelings for you? Ask you to express your feelings for her? You're the one who said you couldn't just pick one of us. Just how many of 'us' are there?"

"Uh..." he said as he hymned and hawed, "Well... That is to say... I mean..."

"That many, huh? Are you just playing the field, or are you really just a womanizer using us for your own amusement?"

"Hey!" objected Po, "Not fair! I just try to be nice to everyone!"

"I thought so," said the owl, "but I couldn't help but tease you about it some first."

"Oh..." he said softly as they walked into Viper's room.

Scorpion was still tending to Viper. She had apparently just changed the wrapping about her tail, but Viper seemed to be awake and alert now. When Fenghuang and Po entered, she lifted her head to gaze at them. While it was the owl who came in first, it was the panda who spoke first.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Better," she replied, "Scorpion says I should stay in bed to make sure I don't reopen any of the injuries in my tail. Please tell Tigress she'll have to handle all of your training until I'm back up and around."

"Will do," he answered, "You just rest up and get better."

"I'll... try..." she said as her voice faltered.

He leaned closer to her as he hugged the upper part of her body and neck softly.

"Thank you," she whispered into his ear, "You're the best friend I've ever had."

"I'll be here for you," he whispered back.

Fenghuang leaned close as well and said quietly, "I know we haven't known each other very long, but I want you to know I will be here for you as well. Please, I wish you the best in recovery. I'm no stranger to serious injuries myself. Perchance we can be good friends as well."

Viper looped her neck about the owl's in a gentle hug as she said, "Thank you. I want you to know that means a lot to me."

"Well as long as you're here," said Scorpion, "I need to get some food. Keep an eye on Viper while I'm gone, would you?"

"Of course," said Po.

"You're the best," she replied as she scrabbled out of the room.

"Keep it up," said Po to Fenghuang, "And you'll have a whole lot of true friends before you know it."

"You really think so?"

"Oh, I know so."

An awkwardly small silence fell over the room.

"So are you hungry?" asked Po.

"No," she replied, "I'm good."

"Are you tired?" asked Fenghuang, "I wouldn't want to keep you up if you want to go back to sleep."

"Oh, I'm good for a few hours," replied Viper.

The awkward silence returned for awhile until Po asked Fenghuang, "So what's the deal between you and Shining Eagle?"

"It's not that hard," she replied, "She was young and eager to prover herself. I was the Master that everyone wanted to take down. We fought, I won, and I thought that was the end of it."

"I see," said Po, "You two didn't seem like that was such a... friendly fight."

"Well, I didn't hold back. I finished her off with a Thundering Wind Hammer. In looking back, I hurt her pretty badly. Probably more than I should have. Then I made a point of mocking and ridiculing her in front of her peers. Back then, I was setting an example for any fool... challenger... that came up against me in the future."

"I could see why she might... bear a grudge against you."

Fenghuang sighed as she looked down, paused a moment, and said softly, "I suppose I could too."

"Well, I'll do anything I can to help convince her you're not the person you were before. I don't want to see you killed off hand, because that won't fix anything. Revenge never fixes anything."

"I used to think it did."

"You teased me before about how I can't chose just one of you," said Po softly, "but the truth of the matter is, you're all special to me. You all mean a lot to me."

Spontaneously, both Fenghuang and Viper kissed him on the opposite cheeks. He blushed just a bit as they made their kisses linger for awhile.

"You mean a lot to me, too," said Viper and Fenghuang as one quietly into the ear that they were the closest to. They barely noticed that they had said the same thing at the same time.

Scorpion returned with a bowl of streamed buns. She popped one in her mouth, and then said, "Well, I think its time that Viper got some rest. Perhaps you should think about the same."

"You could spend the night with me," suggested Viper and Fenghuang as one. He was confused that he was hearing the same conversation in each ear, but in a different voice.

"Hey," he said as he patted his padded belly, "I wouldn't want to take the chance of hurting either of you any worse with all of this bodacious awesomeness. Perhaps it's just for the best that we spend the night separately, shall we?"

The two nodded while Scorpion just shook her head. "Well since Po's room is between yours," she said, "It's best that I stay in his room so I can most easily check on the two of you all night long."

"Hey, why does she get to sleep with you?" objected Viper and Fenghuang as one.

"Uh... she doesn't sleep with me, she sleeps under my cot..."

"I've seen her sleeping on your head," protested Viper.

"Oh please," said Scorpion, "I can't believe you two adults are jealous of that. It's not like anything is going on between us, right Po?"

"Of course there isn't!" objected Po.

"Me thinks he objects too much," observed Viper.

"As do I," commented Fenghuang.

"Look... ah..." stammered Po, "It's about time I took you back to bed..."

"Oh, I agree," she cooed.

Viper and Scorpion both gave Po such a look.

"It's not like that at all!" he cried.

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be the perfect gentleman," said Fenghuang.

"That's right."

"I trust you," said Viper softly.

"I guess I trust you too," agreed Scorpion.

Po helped Fenghuang to leave the room, and escort her back to her own. He helped her up into bed as she suddenly kissed him beak to lips again. Her talons helped keep him from slipping away. The kiss lasted for a few minutes.

When she let him go at last, she said "Of course, there's nothing wrong with a kiss from a gentleman."

"Durrh..." he muttered incoherently. Half expecting Tigress to separate them again, he was surprised when she didn't. He glanced to the door to see that no one was there.

"You don't have to leave," she cooed, "I'd be just fine if you stayed the night with me."

"Well... I... uh... really need..."

"I guess you have changed," said someone who wasn't there just a second earlier, "Certainly making such a blatant appeal to a man is among the last things I'd ever expect from the mighty Fenghuang."

Po glanced at the door to see Shining Eagle there. He was almost glad someone was there to save him from... almost certain temptation.

"True love changes you," she answered, "It makes you ashamed of some of the things you did before. The way I treated you the last time we fought... was wrong... it was dishonorable." She looked down at her own feet.

"Well I have yet to decide if you've truly changed or not," replied the eagle, "So I'll take the panda off your talons for a while. I'm sure you can manage one night without him."

She looked wistfully at Po as she sighed, "Oh, it might not be as easy as you make it out to be..."

As the panda and eagle left, the owl lay back and closed her eyes. 'Po, so innocent, such a dolt,' she thought, 'why did it have to be him?!'

...

"So I take it you're out for vengeance against Fenghuang?" asked Po.

"That's not the eagle way," replied Shining Eagle, "Master Eagle has always been about truth and the honorable way."

"She admitted to me that she went too far," said Po, "Hurt you with the Thundering Wind Hammer and her martial arts, and then insulted and belittled you in front of your peers. One could see how they would want revenge for such poor treatment."

"And I told you, I don't work that way."

"So you are willing to give her a chance to prove she's changed?"

"I said I would. If nothing else, Eagles are beings of their word."

"Then that's all I can ask of you."

"Then perhaps a friendly Kung Fu match tomorrow would help me see what sort of person you are."

"Me?"

"Yes. Much of Fenghuang's defense is rather dependent upon your word and what kind of person you really are at heart."

"Well as long as it remains friendly, I'd love to fight you tomorrow."

"So let us agree not to use our most dangerous techniques, like say... the Thundering Wind Hammer?"

"So you knew that was me all along? That I used it to blow through the cave ceiling?"

"Oh, I had my suspicions that it had to be you, Dragon Warrior."

"Then I shall see you in the morning?"

"Well, you will need a guest room if you're spending the night here," said Po, "I'm pretty sure I know of an empty room that should meet your needs. Besides, I should show you around the place, such as the kitchen and the bath."

"Rather generous of you. Thank you very much."

"All right, just follow me then."

Po led Shining Eagle to the kitchen, the bath, and finally to her own guest room.

...

Shining Eagle stood before her father, Master Eagle. He stood facing away from her so she could only see the back of his broad shoulders, legs and wings. There was not much else to see because of his snow white robes and sash.

"I'm so sorry, father," she said, "I failed you by losing to Fenghuang."

"The way she beat you was not honorable," he said in his deep voice, "but you were not ready to fight such a formidable opponent as her."

She looked down at herself and noticed all the bandages she was wrapped in under her own garments.

"I blame myself for not stopping the challenge," he continued, "It's my fault you weren't properly prepared for this fight.I should have protected you like a father should."

"It's not your fault, father!" she cried, "The fault is all mine! You didn't even know about our fight until it was too late to protect me! I was too proud and arrogant for my own good! I know now that I must work much harder to train and get my Kung Fu to surpass... hers!"

"And yet I must give up Kung Fu to cover for my own shame. I can no longer fight in the name of justice and honor," he said, "and I must find someone who is worthy to use the Blade of Bao Ding to further the cause of justice!"

"No, don't do that!" cried Shining Eagle, "Not for me! I'm not worth it!"

"I must make sure you are protected from this day forward. It is my duty to look out for my own family, and to accept responsibility for their actions."

"I'm so sorry, FATHER!"

"With your mother gone these long years, I neglected you. I should have spent more time with you. Your training and welfare should have mattered more to me than fighting evil and teaching others. Perhaps this horrible incident could have been avoided."

She watched horrified as he removed his white Hood of Honor and dropped it to the floor next to him.

"Master Eagle is no more. I'm just your father now."

"NO!"

...

Shining Eagle awoke in a cold sweat. She was laying in a cot in the dark. It was just a dream. A nightmare about what happened between her and her father after she had been so badly beaten and shamed by Fenghuang. In her heart, she still couldn't shake her desire for revenge against the owl.