Chapter 8
"If we have to stop every hour to fill your miserable stomach, we're never going to catch up with Richard and Kahlan," Cara groused, kicking a stone out of her way.
"I'm sure they're fine, my dear," Zedd insisted, plucking another yellow apple from the tree.
"I don't know about that," she scowled, crossing her arms against her chest as she stared absentmindedly at nothing in particular.
Zedd paused to stare at his red leather clad travelling companion, something in her tone making him take pause. "Why? What are you so worried about?" he questioned her, his white eyebrows knitting together. "Is it that tribe they might run into?"
"Yes, but I'm more worried about Richard," she admitted.
"Why is that?" he frowned, his wrinkles deepening. "He'll be fine now that Kahlan's back with us. They just need some time alone to deal with everything that happened to them."
"I hope so," she muttered more to herself than the Wizard.
Zedd made his way over to where she stood leaning against a tree trunk, the distant worried look that haunted her eyes beginning to set him on edge now too. "Did he say something that makes you think that he's not alright?"
Cara released a huff of annoyance as she tried to think how best to explain what she'd noticed in the Seeker. "There's an edge to him now, an unsettled feeling I get from him," she finally said. "There's a cold hardness in his eyes like he's struggling to control the rage inside of him again."
"I noticed the look in his eyes too," Zedd softly sighed. "I was hoping having Kahlan back with us again would help, but I'm afraid that it hasn't so far. It almost seems like it's gotten worse. Watching her trying to cope with what happened to her hasn't helped any. He feels so powerless to help her."
"She's not doing much better than him," she shook her head. "She looks like she could break at any moment."
There was a softening around the Mord'Sith's eyes, a genuine concern for the Seeker and Mother Confessor that touched his heart. "I'm afraid that they're both in a very bad place right now, Cara," Zedd sadly said. "I'm afraid they're both feeling rather lost right now, but they'll find their way back to each other. I truly believe that."
"It doesn't help that they're barely talking to each other," she scowled again, taking an apple from the Wizard's arms.
"Well, it will help that they're stuck together now," he replied. "They'll be forced to rely on each other again, to have to talk to one another."
"Well, if they aren't better when we finally meet up with them, I may have to force them to work things out whether they like it or not."
"Let me gather a few more apples and we can be on our way again," he said, turning back to his task. "Then we can head out and find a good place to settle for the night."
"We better find a way around that rift tomorrow. I don't like being separated longer than necessary."
Zedd shifted his supply of apples in his arms as he reached for another. "I'm sure we will find a way around tomorrow."
"If not, I'm forcing you to sprout wings and fly us over."
Zedd chuckled with the Mord'Sith's words. "That would be easy for me, but I don't know about carrying you."
"Are you implying something, Wizard?" she asked with a narrowed deadly glare, her hands finding her hips.
"Not at all, my dear," he grunted as he plucked an apple from a particularly high limb. "Just simply saying that if I turn myself into a bird, it would be a little awkward trying to carry you over that rift."
"Well, we better be sleeping with one eye open tonight or we won't have to worry about getting across that damned rift," she spat out in irritation.
"Why is that?" he stopped to stare at her.
"Last I knew, the Aku don't take well to those trespassing in their valley," Cara informed him, taking a bite of the sweet fruit. "They catch the slightest wind of intruders being here and if could be an all out war."
XXX
Wandering through the darkening woods, Richard felt the tendrils of panic winding tightly around his heart, intertwining with the fear that already possessed it. His thoughts were preoccupied with nothing but Kahlan, worried about what could be happening to her now.
He couldn't shake the dreadful feeling that something was very wrong with her, something more than just recovering from everything that had happened to her in the Underworld.
He couldn't seem to stop the anger and thirst for revenge that was eating away inside of him like a deadly virus, threatening to steal his sanity. He found himself so very angry at everything – furious over his brother's interference in their lives and the threat that he brought to Kahlan, mad at Zedd for stopping him from killing Demos when he'd had the chance, angry with Kahlan for pulling away from him and shutting him out when all he wanted to do was hold her and love her forever.
But even more than all that, he was furious with himself for not being able to keep Kahlan safe like he needed to. He was the damn Seeker and he couldn't even keep the woman he loved safe. How was he supposed to save the world from the Keeper?
Drawing a ragged breath, Richard abruptly stopped to draw his sword, the need for release becoming too much to withstand as it pounded through his veins. He gripped the sword tightly in his hands, his rage coursing like a mighty river now with the magic that washed through him. His hands began to shake, his chest rising and falling heavily. He could hardly breathe from the overwhelming flood of emotions teeming inside of him.
It felt as if a dam was suddenly breaking inside of him, unleashing a fierce firestorm inside of him that was swiftly spiraling beyond his control. He watched as the blade suddenly turned white with the intensity of his rage and anguish, his vision blurring.
Richard suddenly spun on his heel, the blade of his sword arcing and slicing through the air with deadly precision, cutting down a small oak tree as if it had been made of nothing but paper. Splinters flew through the air as he released a haunting scream of pure rage that violently tore from his lungs. Pine needles shook from limbs, leaves knocked free from branches with the sheer magical force of his fury that shot forth from him.
He abruptly fell to his knees exhausted, panting for every breath. His hands were still locked around his weapon, his knuckles white from the death-grip he held on it. He trembled violently with the intense release of his tormented emotions. He finally pried his fingers loose from the hilt of his sword, allowing it to drop to the ground.
Tears began to roll down his face, the horrifying ache still lingering inside of his heart despite what had just happened to him. He covered his face with his hands as he wept bitter tears, desperate for Kahlan to be alright again…for them to be alright again.
Sitting by the fire, Kahlan could think of little else, her mind and heart filled with Richard and how badly she had hurt him. There was such an overwhelming ache inside that only he could ever fill for her. She pulled her knees up, locking her arms around her legs to ward off the chill in her bones, curling up as small as she could.
She wanted to just disappear, to close her eyes and wake up to find everything the way it was before all that had happened. She knew she couldn't go on like this, couldn't bear this unbearable strain between her and Richard.
She was certain that it had to be a part of the reason for the headache she couldn't get rid of, but at the same time she couldn't tell Richard what his brother had done to her. She couldn't bear to cause him any more pain. He had been through more than enough because of her.
But she had always been able to talk to him about anything, to share her heart with him. He always made her feel so safe, so special…so loved. She wanted to tell him everything, to share her hurt and shame, her anger over it all, to know that he still loved her and always would no matter what.
She felt tears rising in her throat again, but she refused to allow them to fully form. She needed to get a hold of her heart, her emotions that felt so out of control. She hated feeling like this, so lost and broken inside. She knew that Richard could help her, but she needed to do it herself this time. She'd put him through far too much already, causing him to struggle now.
She pressed her forehead against her knees, feeling so utterly alone. She missed his touch, his kisses, his smile that melted her heart like nothing she'd ever known before him. He always made her feel such amazing things inside, feelings she'd never known existed before she had met him.
This afternoon had been tense sitting with him under the shade of that tree, but his hand against her skin had been electric, thrilling her soul and reminding her of how things could be once again. She had wanted so very much more of him, but it could never be.
The sudden ring of the sword's release caused her head to snap up, her eyes anxiously searching the trees that surrounded her. Leaping to her feet, she grabbed her daggers before racing in the direction of his enraged scream.
She trampled over foliage and dodged tree trunks to get to him, fearing that something had happened to him. She couldn't lose him. Her heart was in her throat as she came to an abrupt stop behind some mulberry bushes, stunned to find her Seeker all alone.
Kahlan froze at the site of Richard kneeling on the ground weeping uncontrollably. The Sword of Truth lay on the ground beside him, what was left of a small tree on the other side of him. Splintered wood littered the ground around him, telling her what had happened.
Her Seeker's agonizing sobs broke her heart, her own tears beginning to slip freely down her cheeks now. She so desperately wanted to go to him, gather him in her arms and hold him close, to beg for his forgiveness. She wanted to ease his pain and erase the questions that bombarded his mind about what had happened to her.
She wanted to go to him, to kiss him and never stop, to fully give herself over to him and the heated passion that demanded release. She wanted to be more than his Confessor, his friend and protector. She wanted to be his lover, the one who showed him unimaginable pleasure and brought him incredible release.
But she couldn't, not without confessing him and losing the man that she had fallen so deeply in love with.
And she couldn't go to him now. Going to him meant letting him in and she couldn't do that. Telling him how Darken Rahl had hurt her would only feed his fury and guilt. She couldn't do that to him no matter how much they needed each other at that moment.
Replacing her daggers, she silently turned to head back to camp, the sounds of his tears echoing in her ears and piercing her heart.
Richard didn't know how long he had been kneeling there on the ground except that it had grown considerably darker now. He needed to return to camp to check on Kahlan to make sure she was alright. Besides that, she would be growing worried about him by now.
With a weary sigh, he picked up his sword and slid it into his scabbard as he stood to his feet. He scrubbed his face with his hands in an attempt to erase his tears. He wasn't exactly certain what had happened, but he felt a little better.
The ache inside of his heart was still there, but his rage had lessened to a little more controllable level again. He just wanted to find Kahlan now, to kiss and hold her, to tell her how sorry he was for pushing her like he had.
It was hard enough trying to deal with all that had happened over the last week without having this impenetrable wall trying to keep them even further apart, more so than her magic already had. He was determined to talk to her to tonight, to make things right between them again.
With a plan firmly in mind, he carefully made his way through the darkness of the woods, their campfire in the distance like a warm beacon drawing him home to her like a moth to a flame. He longed to feel her warmth, to bury his hands in her hair and kiss her like he truly wanted to.
He missed her beautiful smile, the way that her bright blue eyes always sparkled whenever she looked at him. Now, there was mostly just sadness there when she looked at him, a deep hurt that was beyond his reach, that he was powerless to erase for her.
Entering the clearing, Richard found her sitting by the campfire, her chin resting on her drawn up knees. Her face was wet with tears, the weight of her anguish filling the very air around her and threatening to suck him in.
"Kahlan," he softly said as he made his way to her. "What's wrong?"
She quickly wiped the tears from her face, forcing a smile to her lips. "Nothing…I'm fine," she replied, getting to her feet. "I'm not tired. I'll take first watch tonight."
His heart was beginning to hammer, his need to make her stay and talk to him becoming undeniable now. "Kahlan, stop," he said a little firmer, his anger still simmering just beneath the surface.
"You look tired, Richard," she continued, concern etched in her beautiful face. "I want you to sleep. You need it more than I do."
He quickly grabbed hold of her arm as she tried to move past him. He was not about to let this go on much longer. "Stop, Kahlan," he growled, forcefully pulling her flush against him and holding her close.
He suddenly kissed her with all of the pent up passion and anger that had been teeming inside of him. His kiss was hard and fiercely demanding, his hands greedily roaming over her, not about to let her go this time.
Kahlan tried to resist him, tried to push him away, but finally surrendered to him, returning his kiss, his passion as her hands slid up into his hair, gripping him tightly. His tongue was suddenly filling her mouth, stroking her and silently pleading with her to let him inside in every way.
The need for air was becoming more demanding, but Richard ignored it, refusing to let her go. Instead, he pulled her even closer against him, needing her now more than ever before. His hands drifted over her back before finding her backside, pressing her firmly into his hardening arousal.
Kahlan moaned into his mouth at the feel of him, knowing it was her that was doing this to him, her that made him react like this. It was her that he wanted, her that he loved, her that aroused and excited him so fully.
Finally pulling back with a gasp for air, Richard swiftly crushed his lips to hers again, his arousal pounding through his veins like ocean waves against a rocky shoreline. A hand fell away from her backside to skim along her neck until he found the clasps of her jacket. He needed her, needed to feel her reassuring touch, her love. He needed her comfort, her soft caress. He needed her to be alright, to be his Kahlan again, his best friend.
He needed her to be his lover now.
"Richard," Kahlan softly moaned as she swiftly began to lose herself to the passion he was stirring deep within her, her magic rising like a deadly cobra.
"Kahlan, it's alright," he murmured, pressing his lips to hers and abruptly ending her protest.
Kahlan knew she had to stop this now, her mind telling her to push him away, her heart begging her to pull him closer. She wanted him to fill her both emotionally and physically, to fill the empty void in her heart and in her core.
She ached so painfully to feel him moving within her, to feel their limbs tangled together, not knowing where he began and she ended as he took her. She wanted to feel him as he pressed into her, showing her how much he loved her, needed her.
"No," she gasped in protest as he began to kiss along her throat, his hands inside her jacket and stroking the sides of her breasts through her corset. "Stop."
"You don't want me to stop, Kahlan," he breathed against her ear, sending a shiver up her spine. "I can feel the struggle inside of you. Trust me – trust my love for you."
"I want to…Spirits…" she panted as he continued to caress her, raking his teeth along her earlobe. "I want you…"
"Please…let me love you, Kahlan," he whispered.
"We…we can't…" she shook her head as she began to pull away, her magic tingling just beneath her skin.
"Don't push me away, Kahlan," he told her, his anger mingling with his wanton need for her as he grasped hold her arms to keep her from leaving. "Let me in…please, at the very least…talk to me."
"I'll take first watch," she murmured as she fought to catch her breath, jerking free from his hold on her and swiftly pushing past him as she refastened her jacket.
"Damn it, Kahlan!" he growled, turning and capturing her hand firmly in his. "Talk to me!"
Just then, warriors began pouring from the surrounding woods, their arrows pointed directly at them. Richard immediately pulled Kahlan behind him before drawing his sword, its ring causing the men surrounding them to take a step back.
"I don't want to fight you," the Seeker warned them, his eyes darkening with the storm of rage that suddenly filled them replacing the passion that had just been there. "Just let us pass through and we won't cause any trouble."
The Aku warriors all stared at the Seeker and Mother Confessor with a deadly glare, black paint creating a menacing dark ban across their eyes and nose giving them an even greater air of fierceness. No one moved as they stared at each other, no one coming forward as their leader.
Kahlan suddenly grabbed her head, her teeth clenched tightly as she dropped to her knees. It felt as though her skull was splitting open as she fought to catch her breath. She squeezed her eyes closed, trying to force the excruciating pain away. This couldn't have come at the worst time. She needed to be able to confess them if they started a fight, to protect Richard. She couldn't do that with this pain crippling her like this.
"Kahlan!" Richard cried as he turned to look down at his Confessor kneeling beside him, panic suddenly warring with the rage coursing through his blood.
Things had just gone from bad to worse.
