A touch on his arm woke him what seemed like seconds later. "Huh? What?" he said, jerking awake. A glance at the clock told him he'd been out cold for over two hours.
"Mr. Monk?" He recognized the nurse as the one who had been on duty when they'd been escorted up to the ICU. Her name badge said Bianca Thomson. "We've settled Ms. Teeger into her room. You can see her now, if you'd like."
"Yes," he said instantly, taking a moment to orient himself. Julie was sitting up on the couch across from his, yawning — apparently she'd been woken first.
Nurse Thomson led him and Julie into the ICU ward. "She tolerated the move well; her vital signs remained stable," she told them as she stopped outside of room 410. "But we'll keep her sedated for the next several hours. Now, remember. Ten minutes max. I'll be timing you."
They both nodded obediently, and she opened the door for them. Adrian entered first, with Julie following.
His heart nearly broke in two as he saw Natalie. She looked so vulnerable, her small form swallowed up in a large hospital bed. There was a thick plastic tube taped over her mouth, an IV dripping clear liquid in her arm, and wires coming out from under the neck of her hospital gown. Her chest and torso appeared bulky and unnatural under her gown due to bandages. She had a large, rectangular white bandage taped to the left side of her forehead as well. He could hear the rhythmic hiss of the ventilator and the steady beep of the heart monitor.
He approached the bed's left side and took her hand, very gently; it was covered in dozens of tiny scrapes, likely from broken glass from the window or windshield. "Oh, Natalie," he said, his voice hushed and faltering, brushing his hand lightly over her hair. There were tiny flecks of blood on her forehead and in her hair that hadn't quite gotten washed off.
Julie approached hesitantly from the other side of the bed. "Hi, Mom," she said softly, touching her mother's shoulder. "I'm here." Her lower lip trembled, but she heroically kept her composure.
Adrian had desperately wanted to see her, and in a way he was glad he could, but somehow it made it all worse to see the vibrant, feisty woman he knew looking so weak and fragile. He didn't dare talk, to her or to Julie, for fear he would break down. Instead, he held her hand and stroked her hair, hoping she could somehow sense that he was there, and that he loved her. And that he was so terribly sorry.
The nurse came to the door, tacitly signaling that their time was up. Still holding Natalie's hand, Adrian leaned over and brushed his lips over her hair. "I love you so much," he whispered to her before he straightened.
He and Julie silently filed out of the room, both of them turning at the door for one last look at her. The nurse escorted them back to the waiting room. Once inside, Julie's face crumpled and she started to sob. With herculean effort, Adrian kept his own tears at bay, and enfolded her in his arms.
"She's always been the strong one, you know?" Julie wept against his chest. "No matter how bad things got, she was always the strong one. But now, she looks so… so broken."
"I know," he said heavily. Despite his best efforts, a few tears escaped his eyes. "I know," he repeated, and took refuge in Dr. Bell's earlier words. "But right now, we have to be strong for her."
Julie nodded, but continued to cry.
"Adrian?" said a voice from the doorway. He looked up and saw a very frightened Bobby Davenport. His face was gray and anxious, and his tan slacks and green polo shirt were stained and rumpled. "What's wrong? Did she get worse?" he asked urgently, crossing over to them. "Is she — "
"No, her condition hasn't changed," Adrian assured him, scrubbing his face with his sleeve to wipe away the tears that had fallen.
Julie, hearing her grandfather's voice, transferred herself to his arms. "We just saw her for the first time," she choked, burying her face in Bobby's chest.
"It was... difficult," Adrian said, his voice cracking on the last word. He had to turn away as he struggled to keep his self-control.
"I'll bet," the older man said grimly as he stroked Julie's hair. "We got here as soon as we could, but our car had a flat tire on the way and we had to wait for a tow truck."
"'We'?" Adrian asked warily.
Bobby nodded. "Peggy's just outside. She… didn't want to come in here without your permission."
Julie raised her head from her grandfather's chest. "Grandma's here?" she said, sniffling.
"May she come in?" Bobby asked him. "If not, I can assure you that we'll both understand. But it's your decision."
Remembering what Peggy Davenport had said to Natalie the last time they'd spoken, and how Natalie had cried, Adrian's first inclination was to refuse her entry. But Julie's hopeful face reminded him of what she had said earlier. That's what families do. Sometimes we hurt each other, and then we apologize and we forgive. If he could forgive Peggy for her cruel words, perhaps Natalie could forgive the horrible things he had said to her.
He nodded at Bobby, who immediately brightened. Julie wrapped her arms around herself, her face streaked with tears, as her grandfather opened the waiting room door and murmured to someone outside.
A moment later, Peggy Davenport entered — a very different Peggy Davenport than the one he remembered. Every other time he'd seen her, she'd been elegantly clothed and perfumed with perfect make-up. Today she was wearing khaki pants and a plain dark gray cardigan with a white shirt underneath. Her pants and shirt were both wrinkled, and the hems of her pant legs were damp and muddy. Her hair was mussed, her face held only touches of faded cosmetics, and her eyes were red-rimmed and tired. She looked like she'd been crying for hours, and, despite his resentment of her, he felt his heart soften.
Julie enveloped her in a hug. "Hi, Grandma," she whispered.
"Hello, darling," Peggy said, hugging her close.
She looked over at Adrian. "Hello, Mr. Monk," she said tentatively, her voice trembling.
"Mrs. Davenport," he said with stiff politeness, unable to infuse any warmth into his tone. It had been an exceedingly long night.
"How is she?" Peggy asked him, still clutching Julie to her breast.
"We just saw her for a few minutes. Her vital signs are stable. They're keeping her sedated for the next couple of hours," he replied.
"Do you think we could see her, too?" Bobby asked.
"I think so, but only for ten minutes. You can ask Nurse Thomson out there," he said, indicating the ICU main desk. He placed a warning hand on Bobby's arm. "She's on a ventilator for now, but only until she wakes up."
Bobby nodded his thanks and escorted his wife out the door. They returned a little over ten minutes later, both visibly shaken. Peggy had fresh tears on her cheeks, and was wiping them away with a tissue. "Are they sure she'll be all right?" Peggy was saying to her husband.
Julie moved to hug her grandmother. "Dr. Hector said it's amazing that Mom wasn't hurt more badly than she was."
Peggy looked at him then, hopefully, and he nodded.
"It could have been a lot worse," he confirmed.
"Who did this to her?" Peggy asked, her voice angry.
"A drunk driver. He ran a stop sign, and he—he hit her," he managed, hanging on to his composure by a few slippery threads.
"I want him punished," Peggy announced, visibly shaking. "I want him locked up for the rest of his miserable life. I want—" She broke off, weeping. Bobby patted her arm, looking helpless.
Adrian felt helpless too. He'd reached his breaking point and felt the situation was spinning out of control. Julie stood, petrified, not knowing what to do.
The door opened once again, and this time Dr. Bell entered, followed by Dr. Hector. He took in the situation with a practiced eye, noting the familiar expression of panic on Adrian's face. "Hello, Adrian," he said, using his most calming tone. "Nurse Thomson said you were still here."
"Dr. Bell," Adrian said, relaxing slightly. Thank God you've come, his eyes telegraphed.
"You must be Natalie's parents," Dr. Bell said smoothly, moving over to Bobby and Peggy. "I'm Dr. Neven Bell, a friend of Adrian's."
"Are you Natalie's doctor?" Peggy sniffed.
"No, but this is my wife, Dr. Hector, and she assisted in Natalie's surgery," he said, as Dr. Hector moved forward to greet them.
As Dr. Hector talked to the Davenports, Dr. Bell guided Adrian over to the couch to sit down. "How are you holding up?" he asked quietly.
Adrian shook his head. "I don't think I can take much more," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm trying to be strong for her, like you said, but—"
"It's all right," Dr. Bell said, patting his arm. "You've had a very strenuous night. Why don't we take you back to your apartment so you can get some rest, and decompress a little?"
Frowning, Adrian glanced at the door. "I don't know if I should leave Natalie."
"Anna says she's going to be sedated for some time yet, and they're not allowing any more visitors right now anyway. You could go home, take a nap, shower and change clothes, maybe get something to eat," Dr. Bell suggested. "Then you can come back here, later, and be with her."
"What about Julie?" he asked, and Dr. Bell was both touched and impressed by his concern.
"I'm sure she'll want to stay with her grandparents for a while," he answered. "Remember, Adrian, you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of Natalie and Julie. You'll be no use to them if you're too tired and frazzled to function."
Adrian hesitated, but finally nodded his agreement. Dr. Bell took his arm and guided him to where Dr. Hector, Julie, and the Davenports were standing. "I'm going to take Adrian to his apartment so he can get some rest," he told them.
"Excellent idea," Dr. Hector said, smiling. "I was just suggesting that Mr. and Mrs. Davenport get some rest as well."
"We've reserved a suite at the Fairmont if you need us," Bobby told Adrian, referring to a hotel a few miles from the hospital. "We'll take Julie with us, and meet you back here later."
He nodded dumbly, glad Julie would be taken care of. "Did you stay here all night, too?" he asked Dr. Bell as they left the waiting room.
"Anna let me use the staff call room," he said smiling at his wife. "I took a brief nap there. Her shift ended at six a.m. so I thought we'd go home together, since I took a cab to the hospital after Mrs. Stottlemeyer called me."
"Do you often work nights?" Adrian asked her. Dr. Hector was the Chief of Emergency Medicine at the hospital, and he'd assumed that seniority allowed her to work whatever hours she chose.
"Not commonly, but an unusually high number of ER staff have been out with the flu recently, so I've pitched in to cover shifts where I can," Dr. Hector answered. "In hindsight, that's a very good thing, because it meant I had just come on duty when Natalie was brought in."
"Was she — in pain?" he asked, almost afraid of the answer.
"She was unconscious, Adrian," she said gently. "The EMT's report said that she was unconscious when they extracted her from the wreckage, as well." She didn't mention that the report had also said bystanders had heard screaming coming from her car immediately after the crash. He'd no doubt find out soon enough.
Adrian didn't speak the rest of the trip home, other to thank Drs. Bell and Hector when they dropped him off. As he unlocked his door — grateful his keys had been in his coat when he grabbed it, otherwise he would have been locked out — he felt as though a hundred years had passed in the last eight hours. His apartment seemed oddly, eerily silent. He hung up his coat, leaving his keys in the pocket, and stood in the hallway for a moment, trying to decide whether to sleep first or eat first.
Sleep, he decided, shuffling toward his bedroom. Eating seemed like a monumentally tiring task at the moment.
When he entered his bedroom, a sudden memory struck him — the first time he and Natalie had shared the bed. She'd been sleeping on the couch, as they hadn't yet begun their relationship, and she had suffered a vicious nightmare. He'd brought her to his bed to comfort her, and he'd drifted off to sleep with her in his arms, feeling whole for the first time since Trudy had died.
The floodgates opened, and all the terror and sorrow he'd kept contained throughout the long night now spilled out in violent, wracking sobs that shook his whole body. He collapsed onto the bed, pain and regret washing over him in waves as he cried. When all his emotion was finally spent, he fell heavily into sleep.
