I know it's been so long, but hey, what can you do? There's not much dialogue in this chapter, but if you guys want more, let me know. Enjoy and don't forget to review!
Hermione
Our relationship was finally broken.
My own husband couldn't say he loved me. When I woke he was already gone. He probably left early so he wouldn't have to deal with me. I didn't blame him. There would've been another argument. Maybe something would've been broken. Something other than our marriage.
Most of my day was spent on the couch, nursing the half empty bottle of whiskey. I'd have to get more sometime soon. I drank about a bottle and a half every day and I was almost out. It wasn't always whiskey. Whatever I was feeling the day I went out was what I had for the next couple of days. Some days it would be vodka. Others would be scotch. I had no real preference, as long as it was the strong stuff. That's what kept me going. It was just enough to get my mind away from…
I didn't bother showering for the day. Ron was already disgusted, and I wasn't leaving the house. There was no need to. Ron and I never went out anymore. We didn't do normal couple things. All we did was fight. He's angry and embarrassed. I was sure he didn't want anyone knowing he was married to me, and those who did; he wanted to hide my habit from them. I didn't blame him. This wasn't a situation one would broadcast to the whole world, but one date wouldn't hurt. Something nice to finally happen. It wouldn't even have to be fancy. Be could've taken me to a damn diner and I would've been happy. A diner at midnight for breakfast would've been perfect. He didn't.
When Ron returned, we had our normal silent dinner. He went away and I had my nightly drinks. Ron was in our bathroom when I came to get ready for the night. I stepped into the door way cautiously.
"I'm tired of fighting," I whispered, wrapping my arms around myself.
"How do you think I feel?" he asked through the toothpaste and toothbrush in his mouth.
"I'm sorry. I want us to be happy."
"Too late now."
"I-What can I do?" I asked with an exasperated sigh.
"Stop," he said simply before spitting and rinsing out his mouth. "Shower. Act normal. Get a job. Help support us instead of wasting all of my money."
I frowned and shifted uncomfortably. "Can we go out for dinner some day?"
"Remember what happened the last time we went out?" He looked me in the eyes before walking off. "Merlin only knows what'll happen if you go out again. You'll join a gang. Or start drugs or something."
"No I won't," I said meekly. "I just want to have a nice dinner out. We don't even have to go anywhere else."
"No," he said sternly, lying down on the bed.
"Make love to me?" I asked softly, moving over to the bed.
"No."
I crawled onto the bed and slowly rubbed his shoulders. "Please, Ron. It's been so long." He just pulled away from me, pulling the blanket high up him.
I huffed and laid on my back, staring up at the ceiling. "I just want everything to be nice," I mumbled.
"Well, it's all your fault." He looked back at me.
I was hurt by his words. I couldn't believe him. It wasn't entirely my fault. He was the one being so rude about it. I shook my head and stood, going to leave the room. Maybe our relationship just wasn't working out. I went back to the room I stayed in the night before. Once again, I let out a few tears before drifting off. When morning came, I was alone again. This time, I showered and put on the shortest dress I owned. It was a simple flowy black dress that came to mid-thigh. I was going out, and I was going to have fun and not think about how horrible things were back home.
After getting myself ready, I apparated to an ally in muggle London. I treated myself to a nice breakfast, did a bit of shopping, got some alcohol to stock up my shelves and had a nice lunch before going back home. Once everything I had bought was put away, I had a few drinks. Before Ron came home from work, I touched up my makeup and left the house. I was going to have fun that night without Ron to make me feel horrible. I wouldn't even try to ask him to do anything with me. I'd just get the same response as the last two nights, and probably the response I'd get for the rest of my life, or until Ron was fed up and divorced me.
After eating a small dinner, I wandered around muggle London for a while. It was nice to get out of the house and experience the world. Seeing more faces than Ron's and my own in the mirror. There were people everywhere, experiencing all kinds of feelings. It was nice to see that other people were experiencing pain in this world. It wasn't just me. I wasn't alone. The thought was nice, but it wasn't going to stop be from going out and having a good time that night. That night I was going to be happy and I was going to enjoy myself.
Once night fell, I found myself in a muggle bar, but it wasn't just a bar. People were sloppily dancing around. Clearly some people didn't know how to hold their liquor. They were all a mess. Their arms and legs were flailing everywhere like wild animals mating or something. It was actually very amusing. I let out a small laugh as I walked up to the bar. Maybe I could get to the state they were in and have fun. Who's to stop me? Ron was probably worried about me…but he deserved it. He was being a dick over the past few days and he wouldn't even notice if I were missing. Why should he?
Then again, he would notice. Less responsibility when I was gone. He was free to do whatever the hell he wanted and not worry about me. He was probably out with Harry, having fun with him. So then I shouldn't worry about Ron worry about me. He wouldn't be. He'd thoroughly distract himself to forget me for the night. And I'd do the same. Starting with a vodka cranberry. I felt that would be strong enough, and if someone wanted to get me a drink it wouldn't frighten them off. It was more of a 'girly drink', but vodka was pretty strong, so if someone was trying to say that it's a weak drink, then they're insane. I didn't mind though. It had been a while since I'd had vodka and it was a nice difference from the normal whiskey I'd been getting.
And so my fun began. After about three drinks in, I was drunk and joining in on all the flailing dance and it was fun. Now I understood why so many people did that. Even though they all looked dumb, they had a good time. And that's all that matters, right? This was the most fun I'd had for weeks, even months. Ron never wanted to do anything fun so I was stuck home doing boring things, but now…now I knew what life was like outside in the muggle world at night.
I hadn't had much experience with the nightlife of an adult in muggle London. If anyone asked me about what London was like during the day, or even the night for a ten year old with their parents, I wouldn't have had a problem telling them. But before that night, I couldn't have told a single person what the adult life at night was like. Ron and I had been marred so young and we just didn't go out. Ever. Well, we'd go out, but never to places like that. He was boring anyway. He was probably sitting at home while I had my good time.
By the time I had gotten to my fifth drink, there was a very attractive man dancing with me. It wasn't so much dancing, as it was dry humping. And I didn't complain. It had been far too long since I'd had human contact, and at least a month and a half since I'd had any form of sexual contact. My husband hadn't even kissed me once. But this man…the man I was dancing with…his touch made me feel so alive. Like I needed something for so long, but I didn't have any access to it. And just this one dance brought it all back. My husband had been neglecting me, and this man, this stranger made me feel alive once again. I felt loved and needed, just from such a little, yet vulgar touch. If only I had known that before, I wouldn't have waited so long to have fun once again.
The man had told me the name, but I had forgotten it. It was something like… Brant… or Brent… or Brett. We spent the night together and he got me several more drinks. I hadn't had that much vodka in an hour since I had first began my habit. And the best part about it all, was that he had no idea. He didn't know that I had a horrible habit, or that I had… Or anything. I was just some girl to him. There was no baggage for this night. I didn't know anything about him. He was just some name and face. A name and face that made me feel human again.
The rest of the night was a blur of more drinks and colorful lights and skin and clothes and soft moans. Who the moans where coming from, I couldn't say, but it might have been both of us. I didn't need to remember the night to know that I had had fun.
The only proof I needed in the morning to know that I had a good time was the ache not only in my head, but between my legs. The man was still asleep in the bed beside me when I crept out of the bed. I didn't want to disturb him in fear that I'd wake him and then this one nightstand would turn into more. I searched around for my underwear but when I couldn't find my panties, I decided against them and just pulled on my dress. While I was dressing, I noticed a few bites on my chest and shoulders. I picked up the bag I had brought with my the night before and did a quick charm to get rid of all the marks so Ron wasn't upset when I returned home.
Once I was sure there were no marks on me, I apparated back home. I was in the living room and it was silent. Maybe Ron was off at work already. I wouldn't be surprised. Maybe he was worried about me… Suddenly I felt guilty for what I had done, but then again, I had finally felt happy the night before. Not just the happy that alcohol made me feel, but a real kind of happy. I think I even laugh once. And I would repeat that night again.
I went in search of Ron and when I saw he had already left for work, I took a shower and changed into clean pajamas. I poured myself another drink and resumed my spot on the couch. My day continued on this way until Ron came home. The fire in the floo lit green and Ron stepped up. When I turned to great him he looked less than happy. Just before I went to speak, he cut me off.
"Where have you been?"
