Hermione
I was going to prove to them all that I can do things on my own.
…after a few drinks…and maybe I'd go out.
Yes. I was going out. So what? I just wanted to have a little fun. Maybe a lot of fun…but no one was there to stop me and no one was there to worry if I had died. Ron was probably off in Scotland worrying about me dying and coming back home and finding me on the kitchen floor. Or the house burnt down. None of these things were happening, though. I could take care of myself properly. And have a little fun.
So when night rolled around, I got dressed in something similar to the previous night I had gone out. My hair was tamed to the best of my ability and I had on light make up. I looked hot. It would pay off through the night. Maybe I could find another man to go home with. Ron still wasn't in the mood to make love, but I just really needed it. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. So I went out.
There were plenty of people my age flooding the streets of London. We were all there for the same reason: to have fun. And a few of us just needed that sweet release that I missed so much. Even though it had been two days, all I had really gotten from Ron was a hug and he held me for a few minutes at night. I craved the attention I wasn't getting, and Ron just wasn't delivering. I knew it was bad to even to this to him, but I couldn't just sit around and feel dirty. I'd feel dirty after the night, but at least I'd have the human touch I need.
I had decided to go to a bar first. I would have a few drinks before going to a nightclub to find someone. I did find someone, and once again the night became a blur. I don't think I got the man's name. If I did, I had no recollection of it at all. This didn't bother me, though. He was just someone to help me get through the night and I hoped I never saw again. Especially around Ron. If Ron ever found out about me cheating, twice, he'd be right out of the door. I didn't want him to leave, but he just wasn't giving me the love I needed. There are certain things married people need from each other and our relationship was going down hill because neither of us truly provided anything anymore.
In the beginning, we tried so hard to get along and have the perfect relationship, but it just wasn't working anymore. That's why I did what I did. I had to. I had to feel alive once again. Alive the way I never felt around Ron anymore. Our passing hugs weren't enough. And they had only just started after months of him not even touching me. In the morning, I felt much better. I was revived as I rolled out of the bed and pulling on my clothing from the night before. The man was still there, fast asleep, and I thanked all the gods in the world that he was asleep. Before he could wake, I apparated back home and took a long shower to get all of last night off of me. I'd have to start the day fresh, and pretend like nothing happened. I didn't truly know what had happened the night before, but I knew it was something that could end all of my relationships.
This went on for the next week. Every night I went out. Some nights I was even with two men at a time. I would sometimes get the memory of them. Some of them would look so familiar. Like I had seen their faces before. And not just once. Many times over several years. But I couldn't waste all my time thinking about the two. Ron would be returning soon and I had to clean myself up a little. I also had to clean the house a little. Ron had really domesticated after my habit started and he was the one to clean as well, so while he was gone not much cleaning had gone on. I did my best with cleaning by hand, but eventually left it up to magic instead. There was just too much for one person to do. Besides, Mrs. Weasley always cleaned with magic, so how would it be wrong for me to do it?
Ron came home later in the night. I had eaten dinner by then. He was most likely shocked by the fact that I never forgot a meal and took care of myself. When he flooed home, I was curled on the couch with a glass of wine. It felt like a night to be classy.
I looked up when I heard him step out of the fireplace and smiled at him. He was dirty. A mess. "I made you a plate, if you're hungry," I offered before looking back at the book in my hand.
I heard him walk over and he pressed a kiss to my head. "I missed you," he muttered against my head.
"I missed you, too," I whispered to him. I had missed him. It was odd being in an empty house…when I was there.
He walked away, into the kitchen. After a minute I heard the sounds of cutlery on a plate. Now he really could tell I was capable of being alone. I had made a good dinner, so he wouldn't have any issues. Though when he came back into the living room, he said nothing about it. I didn't complain. He didn't ask about what I had kept busy with while he was gone. I had no problems with that.
We sat in silence. Once I finished the bottle of wine, I went upstairs to our bathroom to shower for the night. Once again, Ron and I slept as far apart as the bed would allow us to. It was weird to not be in someone's arms. While he was away, I had gotten used to the feeling of being hugged while I slept. It was the best feeling in the world. And now I was left to the cold of the night air.
The next day went smoother than expected. Ron had stayed home because he had been gone for so long, he wanted to spend time with me. This screamed disaster. He made us a light breakfast before we decided to go for a walk. We didn't go anywhere fancy. Just a long walk around the neighborhood while we talked. He told me about the trip he took. It was clear he left out many details. Most likely, he wanted to spare me of anything horrific, but maybe he had just forgotten that we survived a war.
Ron was like that. Even though we lived through a war together, he always spared me of the gory details. It didn't make much sense to me, seeing as I witnessed a few more things than him. Maybe he just feared I would freak out at the thought of it. The war never did bother me, though I rarely did think of it.
Once we returned home, I poured myself a drink. I had gone all morning without it, and I had been starting to feel a little sick. It wasn't like I wanted it. I needed it. The moment I took a sip, I began to feel better. The sickness, nausea, was gone. So I continued to nurse the bottle, slowly drinking it. I had to make it last for at least a couple hours. I was sure if I left only to go and get another bottle, Ron would be very unhappy with me.
I couldn't remember if I had any left, either. It had been a while since I'd taken from my own collection. Of course two weeks wasn't too long, but long enough for me to forget such details. When I checked, there was another whiskey bottle. It was a pleasing discovery that I could have enough for the rest of the day, and a little for the next.
Though at the end of the day, Ron was less than happy with me. I had been drinking the entirety of the day, though I felt barely drunk. My tolerance was most definitely stronger.
"Hermione, you can't keep up like this," he told me while we ate dinner. "You're doing real damage to your body."
"I'm fine, Ron," I consoled halfheartedly. "There truly is nothing to worry about. My body is fine. Doesn't look like there's any damage," I told him with a shrug, but he didn't seem too happy with that answer.
"Maybe you should go and see a healer."
"What for?" I asked as I rolled my eyes.
"To make sure you really aren't doing anything to yourself."
I didn't want to go to a healer, since I knew that I was fine. There wasn't anything wrong with my body. Maybe the fact that I couldn't…but other than that, I saw no reason at all to even waste my time with such things.
Instead of starting a fight with him, I decided just to leave the table. It would certainly escalate later on, but I didn't care. I just had to get out of there and get myself another drink.
A/N: Hey guys, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry that it took me so long to update. I would promise to do more, but I won't be able to even write for the next couple weeks.
Anyway, don't forget to review!
