Did you seriously think I would leave you hanging like this? ;)
I'm sorry for any mistakes, this chapter wasn't betaed yet!
(3070 Words)
In The Blink Of An Eye
Part 2
As she surfaced from the darkness that had surrounded her for an amount of time that had felt like an eternity, she was oddly aware of her body. She could still remember how she'd seemingly been reduced to her thoughts, and it had been an interesting experience, but it was also comforting to feel her limbs again, even though they were so heavy that she couldn't even lift a finger.
Olivia kept her eyes closed, finding that there were too many sensations rushing in at her at once to deal with, and so she tried to make sense of what she could feel and hear.
The pain she'd felt was gone, replaced by a fluffy feeling; her throat was dry, and she had a hard time staying calm as she realised that a tube was in her throat. There was a lot of noise, the beeping of the countless machines sounding oddly familiar, reassuring her that she really was alive.
For the first time she tried to open her eyes, but her lids were too heavy, not moving at all, even though she poured all her willpower into this simple movement. Maybe she would need a little bit of time until her strength would come back...
She felt a little bit sleepy, but she tried to work against it; falling asleep and not knowing when she would wake up again suddenly appeared to be a scary thought.
"Hey Liv, I'm back."
Everything inside her stilled as she heard the voice, and warmth seeped into her body as she felt someone taking her hand, gently caressing her knuckles. The touch felt familiar, and now she also noted the faint scent of an expensive cologne. She didn't need long to realise who it was, and the brief fear she'd felt disappeared; she wasn't alone, Rafael was there...
"Noah asked me again when he can come and see you... but I don't want him to see you like this. He misses you so much, Liv. We all miss you."
Liv couldn't recall a time she'd heard him talk so softly; so many emotions lay in his tone, too many to analyse all of them, but realising that he was unguarded showed her that he must have been through a lot lately. There was nothing she wanted more than to open her eyes and see his face; she didn't want him to feel sad because of her, and it pained her to hear the exhaustion in his voice.
Rafael then cleared his throat, and she could feel something cold, metallic touching her wrist. "I know, it's still a week until Christmas, but... I wanted to give this to you now."
For a moment, there was silence, and Liv refrained from wondering what his gift was, hoping that he would start to speak again... his voice was anchoring her in the conscious world, and she pulled herself towards him, clung to it...
"Noah drew you a picture again. I'll put it to the oth-... Liv?"
She'd felt it, and he'd obviously seen it.
Her eyelid had twitched, her effort of trying to move paying off finally, and she could hear the scraping of a chair; at the same time, his grip on her hand intensified, his other hand sliding around hers as well.
"Liv? Liv!"
It was a beginning, but it had also drained a lot of strength from her, and she didn't try to resist this time as she felt sleep coming over her. Rafael was there, watching over her, she was going to be okay...
OoO
It took her long to get out of the warm, comfortable daze she was in as she woke up again, feeling very different. Somebody had taken the tube from her throat, and as she tried, she was able to move her finger upon the first try. She couldn't hear anything apart from the constant beeping of the heart monitor, and her lids fluttered while a tiny bit of euphoria flooded her. The light in the room was too bright, blinding her the first few times she tried to open her eyes, and she needed a few minutes to allow her eyes to get used to it.
A tiny bit of disappointment shot through her as she realised that she was alone, but as she let her gaze wander through her patient room, her heart made a little jump of joy, and tears welled up in her eyes.
The wall opposite to her bed was literally papered with pictures that could only be from Noah. Some were clumsy attempts of a 'Get well soon' card, others seemed to show her and Noah while playing in the park, sometimes together with Lucy. Adventurous interpretations of Noah's favourite animals, ice cream cones, pizza... and one of two people reading a book, Noah's crooked writing indicating that it was Rafael and him.
Several bouquets of flowers were standing on the surfaces in the room, emitting a sweet scent, and she could see a few cards. There even was a balloon floating at the ceiling, making Olivia smile tearily – even though she'd never doubted that there were people who cared, it was wonderful to see all of this. But the best thing was something she could only see with great effort – the silver bracelet dangling around her wrist. It was beautiful, and the small charms attached to it were what she would have picked herself...
Content was prominent inside of her, and though a throbbing pain in her stomach was becoming more and more obvious, her smile didn't falter once.
OoO
Rafael felt himself drifting off, slowly following the boy snuggled into his chest into the land of dreams, as his phone suddenly buzzed loudly on the coffee table. Blinking in confusion, Rafael saw his mother reaching for his phone and answering the call before he could even try to carefully shift into an upright position. As she listened, Lucia's face lit up slowly, and she looked at her son with gleaming eyes as she disconnected the call, whispering: "She woke up."
For a moment, Rafael felt nothing, shocked by the news though he'd been waiting for them for quite some time. Then, he felt how tears started to sting in his eyes, a sob shook his chest, ripping Noah from his slumber. With sleepy eyes, the boy looked up at Rafael, and he smiled at Noah, smoothing down his hair.
"Rafi?" Noah asked, cocking his head to the side and touching Rafael's cheek as a few tears dripped onto it.
"I'm okay, buddy. Your mama woke up," he replied softly, sitting up while holding Noah. It was as if a heavy weight had been taken off his shoulders, and the feeling of relief that started to spread inside of him was the best he'd felt in quite some time.
"Wanna see mama," Noah exclaimed with a smile, his brown eyes sparkling with joy, and for a moment, Rafael forgot how late it already was, feeling tempted to grab the boy and rush to the hospital with him.
"It's bedtime for you, Noah. I'm sure your mama is sleepy too, so how about I go and see how she's doing, and if everything is good, you can see her tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," Noah answered with a sigh, and Rafael nodded, carefully standing up to carry him into his room. It hadn't been easy in the last time to make everything as easy as possible for Noah; Lucy and him had agreed that he shouldn't see his mother in this hospital bed, pale, attached to scary machines and infusions, in need of artificial respiration. This had made Noah miss her even more, and it had nearly broken his heart to see Noah cry, asking for his mommy again and again.
And now, she was awake but he still couldn't see her... but at least an ending was in sight.
After putting Noah to bed and promising again that he would get to see his mother tomorrow, Rafael rushed into the living room to grab his coat, his mother already standing by the door to hand it to him with a knowing smile.
OoO
Rafael's heart was starting to race again as he walked down the hospital hallway like he'd done so many times before lately, and he didn't really know why he was feeling nervous – she was okay, she was finally awake...
His hand was shaking as he softly knocked at the door and then entered the patient room, Liv's sleepy smile seemingly being the best sight in the world.
"Hey," he greeted her as he closed the door behind him and made his way over to his usual chair by her side, briefly patting her hand as he sat down. "It's good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"
"I'm feeling slow-juiced like a koala bear," Olivia replied, her voice sounding weak, but he could see a little bit of happiness inside her brown eyes. "Where's Noah?"
"At home, sleeping. My mother is looking after him." Rafael smiled softly at her, then he gingerly stood up and leaned over her. "By the way, he told me to give you something."
He placed a short peck on her cheek before sitting again, trying not to think of the way his lips tingled and how his heart had made a short jump when he'd touched her cheek. Trying to get the awkwardness away that he was feeling, he added: "He really missed you a lot, but Lucy and I thought that maybe he shouldn't see you like this, with all these machines."
Tears were glistening in Olivia's brown eyes as her fingers searched for his hand, and he gently took it, squeezing it. "Thank you... that you were there for him."
Rafael could feel himself blushing, and his gaze wandered around in the room for a moment, trying to avoid hers; there were so many things that he wanted to say, why Noah had been the only reason he hadn't lost his mind after spending hours sitting next to her, hoping that she would open her eyes if he only talked with her.
"It made me feel like I could do something," he admitted carefully, trying to guard his emotions; she'd just woken from a coma, she didn't need to hear just yet how awful the last two weeks had been for all of them. How Carisi had blamed himself for what had happened and Amanda tried to keep him from falling into a mild depression. How Fin and Sergeant Dodds had tried to keep the squad together. How both Lucy and him had suffered from insomnia during the earlier days, asking themselves what would happen to Noah if Olivia died.
How afraid he was of losing her without having had the chance to tell her that he loved her.
She didn't need to be told about all the sorrow and concern at this point, all she needed to know was that everyone had tried to be there, in their own way.
OoO
When Rafael was asked to leave by the doctors about half an hour later, Olivia felt a little bit empty on the inside. She'd been able to sense that Rafael was holding something back, that he wasn't telling her something, but she also hadn't wanted him to go. Seeing him, talking to him ensured her that she was really alive and that everything would be okay. The doctors had already informed her about what had happened, that she'd looked death in the eye more than once during the last two weeks, and it had scared her to think about what would have been with Noah.
But now she knew that her friends wouldn't have left him on his own – not that she would ever have doubted that – and only upon hearing from Rafael that everything was as fine as it could in this situation did she feel like she was coming back to life.
Before finally falling asleep, she stared at the bracelet, a warm feeling spreading inside of her, and she doze off with a smile on her lips.
The next morning was filled with examinations and the doctors giving her further information about her rehabilitation, and it made her head feel fuzzy. She could barely keep herself under control; all she wanted was to see her little boy again and get out of the hospital as soon as possible.
Tears of joy once again rolled down her cheeks as the door to her room finally opened and Noah, followed by Rafael and Lucia, entered, and she sobbed as Rafael lifted Noah onto the bed so she could hug him. Her son clung to her, his little fingers curled into her hospital gown, and through the tears, she looked at Rafael and Lucia, mouthing her gratefulness to them, and she was sure that she could spot Rafael taking a few shaky breaths.
OoO
One day before Christmas, Olivia was allowed to leave the hospital to rest at home, and when Rafael unlocked the door to her apartment – he'd insisted on picking her up though she would have taken a cab anyway – she was met by a wonderful sight. All her friends and colleagues were standing in her living room, cheering as she entered, and it seemed like they were celebrating the opening of a Christmas decorations shop.
A big Christmas tree was standing in the corner, decorated with so much tinsel and glittery ornaments that she felt blinded, there were lights everywhere, and it smelled heavenly like cinnamon and cocoa. Under the tree, she could spot a good dozen of neatly wrapped presents, and Noah was sitting next to them in a sweater that had a reindeer on the front, looking like he wanted nothing more than to tear the paper off.
"We thought we should make a small party to celebrate your release," Rafael said behind her, sounding a little bit sheepish as he put her bag down in the hallway, and Olivia's mouth opened and closed a few times as she tried to find the right words to say, but then she opted to hug him, fighting against tears once again. It moved her to see that all the people she cared about were basically throwing a part of their Christmas plans overboard just to be with her the day she came out of the hospital. Of course it didn't need a drama for them to show each other that they were close like a family despite their differences, but it still made her tear up.
"Oh come on, Barba, don't act like it wasn't all your idea!" Fin exclaimed, grinning smugly before moving over to hug Olivia next, and she threw Rafael a glance, her heart jumping as he blushed ever so slightly.
The afternoon passed too fast for her liking; they ate Christmas cookies together and drank hot chocolate and punch and some smaller presents were being exchanged shortly before the first ones left again, having to travel for some time to get to their families for their Christmas celebrations.
It was already dark outside when only Rafael was left, cleaning up the mugs and dishes so Olivia could get some rest. She was lying on the couch with Noah in her arms, careful that he didn't touch the wounds at her stomach, and she was thanking the universe that she was able to hold her son again. There was so much she was glad about that she wouldn't know where to start if she were able to give back for all the love and help she'd received lately...
"Hey Noah, amigo, it's time for bed," Rafael's soft voice ripped her from her thoughts, and Noah pressed a kiss onto her cheek.
"Night mama!"
"Good night, baby," she whispered back, smiling as she ruffled Noah's hair before he jumped onto Rafael's back, an action they both seemed to be used to. Maybe, a voice in the back of her head murmured, maybe you know exactly where to start.
Twenty minutes later, Rafael came from Noah's room and sat down next to her, so her body was leaning against his side. It felt good, she found, and she smiled up at him as he asked: "How are you feeling?"
"Tired... but wonderful," she mumbled, grimacing as she carefully sat up. "Rafael... I don't know how I could ever..."
He interrupted her by shaking his head. "You don't have to do something in return, except getting healthy again, and you know that."
For a long moment there was silence hanging in the air between them, and then she said: "But I can thank you for the bracelet again. It's beautiful."
"I..." Rafael hesitated for a moment, then he slipped his fingers into the small breast pocket of his waistcoat, pulling something out. "I have something more for it. I..."
Olivia couldn't remember a time where she'd seen him at a loss of words, and her heart sped up as he opened his hand and revealed a tiny, ornate heart charm lying in his palm. His green eyes were somewhat vulnerable as he quietly said: "I nearly lost you."
She held his gaze, and like so often, a silent conversation seemed to happen between them; he didn't need to say it out loud so she knew what he meant, and her breathing hitched before she leaned over to him, their faces only inches apart. He glanced down at her lips and then back to her eyes, and she knew that it was time to confess something. "When I thought I was about to die... there were only two things I could think of. Noah, and... and how I regretted that I hadn't been able to tell you how I feel about you."
"That's something I regretted, too," he answered, his warm breath ghosting over her lips before he kissed her, appearing nearly tentative as he cupped her face with one hand. There was so much love and affection in his kiss that she felt dizzy, but she also loved the feeling, and she was convinced that only now did she really feel like she was alive.
THE END
