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Flashback

Christmas Eve in Pasadena

The day before the wedding Sheldon had sent an email to all his friends which included Raj, Howard, Bernadette, Penny, Alex, Natasha, Will Wheaton, Barry Kripke and Stuart asking them to arrive at his apartment on Christmas Eve for 1:45pm and that the reasons were that he and Amy would be getting married and he wanted them to see this on Skype, he had sent a separate email to Penny giving her permission to use his apartment for the occasion

Penny was in 4a making drinks for everyone with Natasha giving a running commentary of things she could see happening, When the wedding started Penny sat mesmerized as Amy appeared on the screen and then she noticed the dress and realized it might have been one of hers, but then she found herself overwhelmed to hear the vows that they had given each other and then at the end of the service when Leonard picked up the laptop, she asked him to let her speak to the couple which she did briefly and now she was back in her own apartment drinking wine with Natasha, Bernadette and Alex having left the boys in 4a playing video games.

"You know Leonard looked gorgeous in his morning suit" said Penny wistfully to her friends

"You still love him don't you? Asked Bernadette

"Yes and I want to show him I have changed and that I can be committed to him but I don't know if he will be interested" replied Penny

"Well he sent you a card saying congratulations on your store and that he was proud of you, so maybe there is still something there" said Natasha

"Yes I know but what I don't know is if he can trust me again, I think the only thing I can do is talk to him when he comes back but I don't know when that will be"

"Why not wait until Sheldon & Amy's wedding party" said Alex

"I guess and I have the taping of the interview before that as well, but I want him back so much, I miss him and I want to share my life with him, I just have to try and convince him that this time it will be worth it" replied Penny

"You know I think he would be happy to take you back but you will have to work hard to gain his trust again" said Bernadette

"I hope that I can do that and I haven t told you guys this but I have been speaking to Beverley and she said she would try and talk to Leonard when he arrives but I don't want that to cause a problem, she can be quite abrupt at times and Leonard had a hard time growing up with her"

"Penny whatever happens you will still have us as friends and Leonard is already at the point where he doesn't hate you for what happened and I think if you really want him then just talk to him" said Bernadette

Penny nodded and drank her wine, she had a lot to think about

Christmas in New York

Leonard had arrived in New York just after midnight and took a taxi straight to his Mothers penthouse apartment. He was not expecting that she would of waited up for him, but she was there waiting for him when he arrived.

Beverley's apartment was very cold in feel and totally devoid of soul. With floor to ceiling windows, all the walls were painted white and the bare minimum of furniture was made of glass, chrome, steel and leather. There was no fabric on the windows to soften the space and no fabric on the floors. The floors were stained concrete in a steel gray tone. There was absolutely no clutter nor any personality showed through, including any family photos. All artwork was abstract and done in white and grayscale tones.

"Hello Leonard, I guess I will have to start by asking how you are" said Beverly greeting her son in her custom distant way. She could not be found hugging him or giving him any warmth. Instead she was standoffish as always.

"I'm fine mother, how are you?" Leonard replied, looking around trying to figure out where to place his bag.

"Oh, I'm menopausal as usual. You can place your bag in what used to be your old room" Beverly said, anticipating his confusion.

"Thanks for sharing, I see the apartment is the same as usual, not a speck of dust or anything out of place" Leonard muttered as he head to his old room.

"No Leonard. You know how I detest anything out of place and dust has no place around humans" Beverly retorted.

Leonard continued on back to his room. Nothing had changed. His room was just like the rest of the apartment. There was a single bed with bedding done in all white except for a few abstract black stripes that went across the comforter and a few black throw pillows to adorn the bed. At the foot of the bed was a bench made of chrome. Beside the bed on each side were clear hard plastic wall-attached beside tables and above them sconces that were modern made of glass and chrome accents. No other furniture existed in the room except for one bookcase that was made of black steel. Inside the case were old physics books and math books from when Leonard attended school. Nothing personal was in the room for Beverly had never allowed him to adorn his room like he wished. There was a closet and he placed his bag on the chrome bench and began to unpack and hang his clothes up in the closet. He placed the folded items on the shelving that was built inside.

Taking his toiletries and medications, Leonard proceeded to the en-suite bath. The bath was all white subway tile in the shower with chrome fixtures. There was no tub, but there was a very modern rectangular sink with chrome fixtures placed in the middle of a long counter top made of white marble. Above the sink was a mirrored medicine cabinet and sconces accented the lighting in the room. The toilet was white and modern with an automatic flusher and the lid automatically closed on its own. White fluffy towels hung on the racks. There was one heat-warming towel rack on one wall far from any water fixtures. One painting was inside the bathroom over the toilet. It was again all in white and grayscale tones. After placing his things in the bath, he washed his hands, tossed some water on his face and steadied himself to face his mother again. He finally went back up the hall to the massive living room that overlooked the city to see his mother.

"Ah there you are. I thought perhaps you went to bed. Now, what's happening with my home girl? I found out from Sheldon that you had split up, is that right?"

"Why don't you check with Sheldon?" Leonard muttered. It bothered him that she spent more time trying to keep up with Sheldon and share the latest news through him than she was willing to spend with her own son.

"There is no need to get testy. So I see he was right. Sheldon did not share any details with me and you know I don't really spend much time caring about such matters."

Leonard just nodded, not sure what else there would be to talk about. He was tired and really wanted to get to bed.

"Well it's late. Perhaps we can catch up more in the morning?" Leonard tried to be diplomatic.

"Is that your answer to everything? You avoid it by sleeping or running away? Leonard, when are you going to be a man?" Beverly always had a way to make Leonard feel bad.

"Mother, you don't know anything about this. You have no idea what transpired and what I am feeling" Leonard lashed out.

"Yes. It has been some time now. I see you are still not over this. Okay, sit down and let's talk. Tell me how you feel about it." Beverly was shocked at his outrage.

"Compassionate as ever Mother, it did take me a long time to get over the hurt yes, but I am fine now" Leonard snapped back.

"I see. Well given your behaviour and the fact that you are so angry, I would wager that you are not fine. It sounds to me that you are still having issues with this break up." Beverly analyzed.

"Ya think? Mom, you don't know anything about it. It's complicated" Leonard just wanted to crawl into bed and not be having this discussion. He always felt so under the microscope with his mother. He just wished she could be warm like Sheldon's mother, Mary.

"No, I don't know about it because you have failed to share that with me" Beverly said, still distant, but starting to show a bit more concern for Leonard.

"You don't want to know the details. I know you. You would find some reason to interrupt or not listen" Leonard whined.

"Leonard, as much as you think otherwise, I am here to help. I do this for a living. Explain to me so that we can at least have the same information starting point" Beverly continued to use her psychiatrist tone of voice.

"Are you sure?" Leonard asked, stunned.

"Yes, now please" Beverly pointed to the couch for him to sit on.

"While I was at sea, I was missing everyone. I was very lonely and while I had friends I made there, it was not the same. They were not close friends" Leonard started.

"Yes, you have always had a need for reassurance" Beverly nodded.

Leonard glared and then continued "I was seasick a lot of the time and working long hours. I got to Skype and talk to everyone, but it was not the same as being with them. So when the experiment completed and we head home, I could not wait to be back with everyone, especially Penny." Leonard continued.

"That's understandable, given your neediness" Beverly nodded, prompting him to continue.

Leonard decided to immune himself from her cold comments and continued "But what I didn't realize is that when I was away, I had asked Penny to watch over Sheldon. However it was more him watching over her because she was a wreck for a while with me being gone. She missed me, or so she said and Sheldon said. He had Amy to watch over him and so he and Amy grew closer. But when he did nice things to help Penny she started to think he was having amorous feelings for her so she came on to him."

"Wait, was this when you were about half way through your excursion?" Beverly interrupted.

"I…I…I don't know exactly when, but that would probably be about right, yes" Leonard replied. He was completely surprised by her interruption. "Why? Does that matter?"

"Of course not, it just explains why Sheldon suddenly was very distant in some conversations we held during that time frame. I thought something was amiss at the time, but he never confided in me anything. I actually thought it might be more with he and Amy, but now I think it could be because of what you just told me" Beverly explained.

"Oh, no he and Amy were great during my absence. If anything they grew very close and more intimate with each other through the experience" Leonard confirmed.

"Ah, I see, well… continue. So Penny came on to Sheldon. How did he react?" Beverly asked. She was more curious for her own amusement than that it related to the story. She always found that Sheldon could fall in love with a woman a surprise. She always thought of him more like her, someone that could remain objective and scientific at all times and that eluded romance.

"Sheldon rebuffed her advances and immediately told Amy. They never kept any secrets from each other. He banned Penny from his apartment and from being around him unless someone else was present."

"I see…fascinating" Beverly looked off thinking for a moment. She studied everyone, including Sheldon and so his response intrigued her. She then returned to look at her son. "Continue" she encouraged.

"Amy would still see Penny, but she made it clear that she was not happy with her coming on to her boyfriend. She remained a true friend to Penny though and told Penny that instead of needing men all the time that she should get out there and do something for herself. Get to know who she is and what she wanted in life. Amy explained that she could bring more to a relationship when she was content with who she was instead of always mooching off of others and expecting others to give her a break based on her good looks" Leonard recounted.

"Amy shows great wisdom advising that to my homegirl. Penny is a great girl, but she was a bit lazy and did live off of her looks. Amy gave her great advice" Beverly was bemused. She was starting to like Sheldon's choice in a woman. She was surprising even herself.

"Yes, she did give her good advice. It was from that advice that Penny has turned her life around completely. She has become a very successful business woman and has increased her acting activity as well" Leonard nodded his approval. "But now, I am worried."

"Why is that?" Beverly asked. "What do you have to be worried about?" Beverly eyed him and then continued. "I see, you still love her, don't you?"

"I never stopped loving her, but now I am not sure what to do about it. I tried moving on and thought I would be able to, but my heart wants her. Mom, I loved her when she had no idea who she was and what she wanted. I saw her potential and knew that someday when she figured all of that out, that she would finally see in herself what I have been able to see all along" Leonard explained.

"Leonard why exactly did you break up with Penny? Was it a wounded ego that caused you to break up with her?" Beverly knew that betrayal was often just a bruised ego speaking forth.

"Are you kidding me? The fact that she was even looking for something else was a deal breaker for me, if it had been the other way around, I'm pretty sure she would have done the same thing. Mom, infidelity is betrayal and betrayal, well it is hard to look the other way and not see that others are waiting in the wings to take your place" Leonard continued.

"Leonard, that is your ego talking. But your heart knows that you two belong together, is that correct?" Beverly encouraged.

"Yes about the heart part…but even if it is my ego, how do I get past that?" Leonard asked.

"You either buck up and become a man and realize that you are the best thing that has ever happened to her and woo her back, or you cower as you always have, Son, and constantly look behind your back" Beverly had a way of cutting to the chase, even if it was difficult to hear.

"Maybe but if we do get back together then it will be up to her to come to me, I am done with chasing women" Leonard's pride was showing through again.

"Leonard has Penny ever told you she has any regrets and shown you any reason that she is perhaps trying to change not only for herself, but for you as well?" Beverly asked.

"I don't know…I guess, maybe" Leonard shrugged.

"I will tell you what I know from Sheldon and from my homegirl. Yes, I have spoken to Penny. While she never went into any details, and neither did Sheldon, I knew something was amiss that caused you and she to have a wall between you. However, she blamed herself completely and took full responsibility. She told me that she loves you and that you will be her only true love. She has been working hard at going to therapy and building a life for herself should you never let her back into your life. Now that sounds to me like she has had regrets." Beverly relayed. "Now you know I don't believe in all this true love mumbo jumbo, but my point is, Son, she is trying. She is working on establishing a life with or without you, but she made it clear she prefers it to be with you."

Leonard took in all that his mother said, but the hurt was still a large sting. "I can't chase after her anymore, I don't want to get hurt again."

"You do know you won't lose any masculinity points by actually talking to her first, Leonard. "

"What do you mean?"

"Put your ego aside. Think about what you really want in life. If you want a life with Penny, it isn't going to happen through stubborn ego-driven mania. Penny has vowed that she won't ever do what she did again and even now that she is on the way to becoming independent and successful. She has made it clear that she still wants you. She is able to commit to you and only you. But from her perspective, she has no idea how you feel. She only knows that she betrayed you. She feels guilt and remorse. She can't beg and beg you back into her life and she feels unworthy of even asking at this point. Can you see it from her perspective?"

"So you are saying I should just suck it up and talk to her anyway?" Leonard was not surprised his mother would not see his side of things, but she also was striking a nerve with him on the subject.

"Leonard I am just giving you some advice, how you choose to deal with it, is up to you. Don't always be so narrow minded and only see things from your perspective. Look at them from her perspective and it will help you come to a decision. Now I have to go to bed, we can talk more tomorrow if you like" Beverley rose from the couch and walked off to the bedroom.

"By the way, Celine will be here at 7:00 AM for breakfast. Don't be late" were her final words before leaving the room.

Leonard didn't move but sat in deep thought for a long time. He realized his mother was right about one thing. He had only been looking at things from his perspective and not from Penny's. He got up and padded down to his room. Changing out of his clothes into his T-shirt and boxers, he brushed his teeth and crawled into bed. Setting his glasses on the nightstand he turned off the lights and lay there thinking before sleep overcame him.

Big thanks to INWHATUNIVERSE who wrote the whole Leonard/Beverley talk

Next Chapter up in a few days