Chapter 23
Dinner went by slowly with very stagnant conversation. Hermione wanted it to be over soon so she didn't have to endure the tension for much longer. Draco wanted her to tell him what he wanted to hear, but clearly she wanted to be in privacy before divulging into her problems. The two finished their dinner fairly quickly, meaning Hermione was beginning to become very panicked. The entire time she had been focused on whether or not she would tell him every last detail of her life.
Noticing they were both finished, Draco cleared his throat and stood. "I suppose we should go to your room now," he suggested.
Hesitantly, Hermione stood and nodded. "Yes, I'll lead the way," she said quietly as she began to show the way to her room.
Silently they walked through the house, up the stairs and to Hermione's room. She switched on the lights before taking a seat on her bed. Draco silently observed her room. He walked around, looking at every picture she had set up. Some were of her and her parents, others of her with the Weasley's and Potter. A wedding picture was featured on her nightstand. She certainly seemed very happy to be with Ron in the photo.
"Not happy anymore, Weasley?" he asked, not turning his attention away from the smiling photo Hermione.
"Not particularly," she mumbled with a shrug.
"What happen?" he asked, deciding he would join her on the bed.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She had barely come to terms with the event herself and didn't know if she would be able to share it to others already. When she wasn't sure how to go about telling him, she began to stall, running her hands over the blanket as if she'd never studied the fabric before.
"Having an addiction is not easy," she told him as a copout, not wanting to say it out loud.
"You act like I don't know," he said with a snort.
She rolled her eyes at him and laid back on the bed with a sigh. "Ron and I really wanted a baby," she began. "And I was pregnant. We were so excited and Ron was so careful with me and he treated me like I was made of glass. But I lost my job, then I…" she trailed off.
"You don't have any kids, huh?" he asked, looking down at his hands.
"Nope," she whispered.
He let out a sigh and nodded, glancing up at her skeptically. She had her hands over her face, and it seemed like she was holding back sobs.
"And that's why you started drinking?" he asked and got a nod in response. "How long had it been?"
"A year," she told him between tears. She hated ever thinking about when she lost her baby. Never did she think about what Ron had gone through during the period, but it didn't seem important to her. The couple never talked about it. Neither of them was ready to face it, but Ron had been able to come to terms with it easier than Hermione had.
"Astoria wants a kid," he mumbled, looking down at his hands. "I don't like kids."
Hermione moved her hands and glared at him. "I wanted my baby, Malfoy. I had names picked out. I was so excited," she told him before covering her face again.
Draco frowned and let out a sigh. He was never good at being comforting. Hesitantly he reached out a hand and pat her leg gently as if that were supposed to make her feel better, but the only response was her pulling away from him. He thought back to his sixth year in Hogwarts and how Moaning Myrtle comforted him. How was she able to do it? Clearly it was not easy. He thought about the words she would say to him while he cried. Had he really even paid attention to her soothing words? Did she even have time to talk? Those moments were as if he had blacked out.
"Want to talk about it?" he asked hesitantly.
"What is there to talk about?" she asked through her tears.
"Whatever you need," he said softly, even surprising himself with his tone. He'd never heard himself be gentle.
Hermione stayed silent for a while. The only sound in the room was her sobs and sniffles. Eventually she sat up and wiped away her tears with her palms. Her eyes were red and her face blotchy. After a moment she stood from the bed and went into the bathroom to splash her face with cold water. She looked in the mirror, scrutinizing her features. After taking a few deep breaths, Hermione walked back into the room and sat on the bed, facing Draco. Looking into his eyes, she began to speak.
"I was going to have a little boy, or so I guessed," she said softly. "His name was going to be Oliver."
Draco nodded, staying silent and giving her the time to think about what she needed to say and not giving her any commentary.
"Rose if it was a girl. I was too early to properly know what I would have had."
Hermione let out a sigh and brought her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly. She had barely even touched the subject with her doctor, and now she was going to spill it all out to her childhood enemy. Now that she had begun to talk about it, she seemed to not be able to stop, and little by little she began to reveal all of her troubles throughout the past years.
"I became to depressed," she whispered, no longer looking at Draco. "I didn't know what to do with myself. I never left the house."
Draco wanted to speak, and console her, but he was sure if he interrupted she would stop talking all together. He wanted to know what happened to her, just as much as she wanted to get it off of her chest. Hermione continued to tell her story and sob all through it. Draco began to grow sympathetic and concerned for the woman. Two things he thought he'd never feel towards her. There were other feelings pulsing through him, but he couldn't really place his finger on it. He also had an odd feeling that he didn't want. He pushed it away, thinking that he was just confused, but when Hermione looked at him with wide eyes, filled with tears, he couldn't hold back. He could only think of one way to sooth her, or anyone who wasn't his family. With a little hesitation, he slowly began to lean closer to her. Before Hermione knew what was hitting her, Draco's lips were pressed against hers.
Immediately Hermione froze, not sure what she would do in this situation. Sure she had cheated plenty on her husband, and even with Draco, but this was different, she thought. After a moment of Draco's just kissing and Hermione not reacting at all, she pushed him away and quickly stood, looking at him wide eyed.
"What the hell?" she shouted.
"I thought that would help," he defended, not moving from his position on the bed.
She looked at him, flabbergasted for a moment before shaking her head and going to the door, opening it. "Get out," she told him, pointing out of the door.
Draco let out a sigh as he stood from the bed and frowned at her. "Weasley, I'm sorry…I didn't think you'd freak out like this."
"Are you going?" She asked, not accepting his apology, since it probably wasn't even sincere.
"Are you pissed?"
"Obviously."
"I just thought it would help you feel better," he explained.
"If you aren't going to leave, I will," she threatened as she moved to eave the room.
As she moved, she hoped he would stop her because she wanted to sleep in her bed, but as she kept on going and he didn't, she realized that dream would not be achieved. She kept walking, not exactly where she wanted to go. There were plenty of places in the house she could have escaped to, but there was also a large field surrounding them that no one would ever find her in. It seemed very appealing, but it was a cold night, and she wouldn't be spending it outside. Maybe she would be able to find an empty spare, but she never went on with that plan. Continuing her walk around the house, she found the communal bathroom, which people used during meals, or time they spent in the common area.
The bathroom was the perfect spot to hide from Draco. Any respective man wouldn't enter the woman's bathroom. She was safe there, until she had to leave the next morning for her duties. Though she could have made some excuse to get out of them and continue to hide in the bathroom. Or Draco wasn't respective and would just barge into the bathroom. Either way, she decided she would just have to face him the next day.
The night went by slowly in the cold, dim bathroom. She couldn't find a comfortable enough place for her to be to fall asleep. The floor tiles were too cold for her to fall asleep on and it wasn't like the bathrooms had any type of furniture.
When the sun rose, Hermione emerged from the bathroom, extremely exhausted and cold. By now, she was sure that Draco had left her room and it was safe to return without getting attacked yet again. As she pushed open her bedroom door, she was relieved to see it empty. After changing from the clothes from the previous day, Hermione sat on her bed, relishing in the comfort. It was amazing to be in her bed once again. Without realizing, Hermione fell into a deep sleep, feeling extremely relaxed. She had missed her comfortable bed too much, and hadn't slept in twenty-four hours.
Hours later, Hermione woke and let out a sigh as she felt better from when she first fell asleep. Slowly, she got out of her bed and went to the bathroom to shower and brush her teeth for the day. After stepping back into the room, she realized the sun was too high for it to be morning and began to panic. She had slept all day, and hadn't meant to. She quickly scrambled out of the bed and rushed out of her room. She did not want to get into any trouble for missing a day of chores. She only hoped that it was something that could be done quickly.
She hurried to the desk where each person was assigned their chore for the day and cleared her throat.
"Excuse me?" she asked softly to the woman at the desk. The woman looked up at Hermione, staying silent. "Do you have the chores list still," she said, biting her lip.
The woman nodded as she reached for a clipboard sitting on her desk and looked it over. "What's your name, love?"
"Hermione Weasley," she said quietly, watching as the woman looked over the list for her name.
"Looks like you didn't check in this morning, Ms. Weasley. Which means someone else has taken care of your chore for the day," she explained as she held out the clipboard for Hermione to see.
She looked at it and frowned. Sure enough someone had already taken care of her chore and she was free for the rest of the day. "Thank you," Hermione mumbled quietly before she walked away from the desk.
As she walked toward the stairs to return to her room, Hermione thought about what she was supposed to do that day, if there was anything. Did she have to go meet with her doctor? She wasn't sure. Staying up all night messed with her head slightly and she couldn't remember what she was responsible for. Just to make sure, before she returned to her room, Hermione checked with her doctor to see if she had made an appointment for the day.
Luckily, Hermione did not have any appointments scheduled for the day, and she was able to relax. As she walked back to her room, she realized how hungry she really was as she felt a wave of lightheadedness. It had been several hours since she had eaten. She had missed breakfast that morning, so she was way overdue for eating.
Hermione went to the kitchen to find something to snack on before lunch was served. When she entered, there were people in the process of cooking. She didn't want to bother the chefs, so she quickly found an apple before leaving and returning to her room. For the rest of the day, Hermione decided she would stay in her room, only leaving for meal times. She did see Draco during meal times, but he must have understood that she didn't want to speak to him since he stayed away from her. She felt almost sorry for him since he was sitting alone, but she was sure he just didn't want to make any friends at the house.
After dinner, Hermione retreated back to her room yet again and laid down on her bed. The way she laid, she had the perfect view of her wedding photo on her nightstand. The couple looked so happy all those years ago. They had large grins before kissing then pulling back to grin at each other yet again.
Hermione let out a sigh as she watched this continue on for several minutes, wishing that her life could be like the one in the photo again. As she looked at the photo, she began to feel a tug in her heart. She missed her husband so much. It had been far too long since the couple had seen each other, and she decided she would write him a letter. She had noticed that her husband hadn't written to her yet since she arrived, and it hurt her a little, but she also knew her husband had a hard time grasping muggle ways of doing things, such as using the muggle postal system.
Hermione slowly got out of bed and searched for a pad of paper and something to write with. Once she found the two, she settled onto the bed in a seated position and began to write her letter.
Dear Ron,
I'm sorry that I haven't written earlier. I have been very busy with classes and appointments with my doctor. Over the past few weeks, I have been doing very well in my recovery. Last night I began to think about this whole situation and how it began. I feel very guilty for the miscarriage, and maybe when we are ready, we can try again for a baby. I would love to have a child, as long as you want one. It was very difficult for me to talk about it last night, and I'm sure it is not easy for you either. The best way is to talk with someone. Try talking with Ginny, or your mother or father.
I love you, Ron, and I cannot wait to return home to see you.
Yours always,
Hermione xx
Once finishing her letter she folded it up and set it on her nightstand to remember to send it in the morning. For now she figured it best to not tell him about Draco being there with her…or what he had done the night before.
A/N: Finally! I know it had been a while since I've uploaded. Please review and let me know what you guys think of this? Do you want to see more of Draco's experience, or has it been a good mix? I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
