Well, I lied about writing this quickly. I want to get this story done soon since it's so close to the end. I know where and how to end this. I only want 31 chapters, and well, I'm six away from that. Other than that, I hope you guys enjoy this kind of fluffy and deepish chapter. Don't forget to review!
Chapter 25
Days went by before either of the two talked to each other. Hermione didn't mind. Draco didn't mind as well, but he still thought over what he would even say to her. Draco stayed in his room all he could, just like when he first arrived to the house. He didn't want to see anyone. He even stopped attending the group sessions, asking for only face to face with the doctors or counselors. Sure, Hermione wouldn't be in the group of the drug addicts-he didn't care what the doctors said, he was a drug addict, they all were- but there were general groups where anyone was invited, even some were recommended. Draco's counselor wanted him to be in at least one group session so he could see he wasn't alone in this situation. He just said he knew he wasn't alone. There was a whole house of people to prove that.
Hermione on the other hand, was enjoying her time, not having to see Draco at all. It was like the last few years of her life, before her habit started. Free of him and having a great time, though of course she had gotten a letter from Ron and he told her that he was starting to lose feeling about their relationship. He said it might have been because they hadn't seen each other for quite sometime, or it was just happening for a while, and he finally was seeing it. Hermione thought there were other reasons. She knew she wasn't making him happy, ever since she lost the baby. She would always be drinking afterwards and Ron didn't even want to be around her. He barely even touched her while she was drinking.
Either way, life was looking great on the outside for both of these people, but they both were falling apart inside. They were lucky their drug of choice was nowhere to be seen. If they left the house, it was possible someone would notice and they would have to restart their rehabilitation, for sure. Neither of them wanted to restart as well, so they were stuck coping in another way that was probably beneficial for them to learn. Of course they did not have the same situation, but they both needed new coping mechanisms if they wanted to live in the world and not turn back to their drug of choice.
Hermione began to lose hope, though after the letter. She truly loved her husband, but if he wasn't able to keep up their relationship, she wouldn't blame him. It was even stressful for her in some ways. Ron was always on her mind, and the weight of her actions constantly bothering her. She figured once everything was settled, she'd be able to finally let him know what she did, though she wasn't too sure how he would react. After all, they were married while she slept around. Even she doubted their love at this point. Ron was unhappy, she was unhappy. There was really nothing she could do about it.
Hidden away in her room all day, Hermione left Draco to spend the day alone, sitting by himself in recreation time as well as meals. After dinner, Draco decided he would check on Hermione to see if she was dead in her room since she didn't even come out for meals. Though he was sure she snuck around everyone's back to get food, if she were alive. The light knocking on her door shocked Hermione. She hadn't even realized how late in the day it really was because she was so caught up in the current book she was reading. This used to happen often to her. She would start reading a book, get lost in the world and forget everything that was happening around her.
"Hello?" She asked, glancing over to her door, not wanting to make any assumptions about who could've been there.
"It's Draco," he said quietly, moving his hand to the door nob, but didn't twist until he got permission to go into her room in the form of a soft 'Come in'. He opened the door just enough for him to enter her room before shutting it behind him. "I just came to see if you were alive."
"Well, I am, so you can leave now," she mumbled before looking back at the book in her hands.
"You've been in here all day, Weasley. You have to come out at some point," he told her, moving to sit on the edge of her bed.
At the shift of weight on the bed, Hermione quickly moved away from him, closer to the edge of the bed. "I'll come out when I need to," she said with a shrug.
Draco sighed and looked down at his hands, not sure what to say to that. The two were silent for sometime, Draco deciding he would stay until he figured something out.
"Are you going to leave or what?" Hermione questioned, breaking the silence finally and looking up at him. She couldn't focus on the book as she was too distracted by his presence.
"I thought you could use some company," he finally decided, looking up and locking eyes with her.
"I don't need any," she stated firmly before turning her attention back to her book.
Once again silence fell between the two. Hermione wasn't reading her book, but staring at one word as he mind raced with a million thoughts. Draco kept darting his eyes back and forth between her and his hands, stealing the quickest of looks. He could tell she wasn't reading. After years of seeing her nose in a book, he knew how fast her eyes were when she was reading, and they were not moving whatsoever.
"What's on your mind?" Draco asked as he moved to face her completely.
"That's not of your business," Hermione replied, her eyes never leaving the page.
"I can tell it's something big."
"What do you want to know?" she asked with a sigh, looking over at him with an annoyed glance.
"What's bothering you?"
"Nothing," she told him before looking away again.
"Okay. What made you cheat on your husband?" he asked, knowing she would be drawn in by this question.
"That is most certainly none of your business," she snapped, looking up at him with a glare.
"Oh, but it is," he countered, smirking at her. "If you remember, you slept with me."
"Might I remind you that you are getting married? What made you cheat?"
"If I tell you why, will you tell me why?" he bargained, crossing his arms.
Hermione glared at him as she weighed her options. Of course he could make fun of her for it, or try to hug her, though she figured Draco Malfoy would never actually do that. He could pity her, though, and Hermione didn't know if she wanted to be pitied by Draco.
"Fine," she settled on her answer, looking down at her hands. "You first."
"Easy. I told my father I felt disgusting sleeping with my fiancé. My father said I would feel guilty or some bullshit like that if I slept with someone else. Apparently he did it too," Draco explained with a nonchalant tone. Clearly cheating on Astoria did not affect him like she felt. "Your turn."
Hermione let out a sigh and closed her eyes. She didn't know where to begin. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes to look at him. "Ron and I have not been intimate in any way for a really long time now. He won't hold me at night. He doesn't hug me, or kiss me. I asked him to hold me; he said no. I asked him to sleep with me; he said no. I felt so alone. I cheated on him to feel loved. And it felt amazing even having a stranger hold me at night. I kept doing it because I needed that attention I didn't get from Ron," she admitted, her eyes drifting away from him as she finished.
They stayed silent for some time. Draco taking in her words, and Hermione trying not to cry in front of him. Even talking about this brought up emotions she didn't want to think about. She was missing Ron, but their marriage was failing. Even more so, it hurt her that it wasn't the first thing failing between the two. Once again, she started to think this was all her fault.
Finally, Draco came to his senses, frowning deeply. "So you're saying your husband drove you to cheating because he didn't love you?" he asked, looking up at her.
Hermione quickly shook her head, not even thinking that it wasn't her fault 100 percent. "It was because of my drinking. My drinking made him unhappy," she told him honestly. Even if Draco tried to give her a route to blame Ron, she would turn it right back to herself.
"Weasley, you can't blame this on yourself. This is definitely not your fault," he said, shaking his head. He honestly still couldn't believe that Hermione would even become an alcoholic, but they were both in this house for a reason. "You can't possibly blame yourself."
"Yes I can," Hermione persisted. "If I had never lost the baby, I wouldn't have started drinking, then I wouldn't have pushed Ron away."
"It's his fault for not helping you coupe properly!" Draco tried to tell her. "He's your husband, Weasley! He should be helping you!"
Draco didn't like his fiancé, but if she were grieving, he certainly wouldn't leave her to suffer on her own. It was his job.
Hermione sighed and ran a hand through her hair as she thought about this all. He was right. Ron wasn't being a good husband to her.
"Maybe you're right," she confessed, looking down at her lap. Those were words she never thought she would say to Draco Malfoy. "We aren't happy at all," she said quietly. "In no way."
"I can tell," he told her, rolling his eyes. "You should confront him about this," he suggested, knowing he would care if Astoria brought this concern to him. He would more likely celebrate a divorce than anything, but he would still care.
A silence fell between them once again. Hermione needed time to think. She always needed time to think, and especially now with the topic at hand. She would have to figure something out between them. Of course she thought of the fastest and easiest route, divorce, but she didn't know if she was ready for that. She would be the first person in her family to be divorced if that was what they decided on. The first witch in the family and now the first divorced. She let out a bitter laugh at the thought. She was setting plenty precedent for her descendants, if she ever had any.
Draco was thinking about the same topic, though it wouldn't exactly be divorce. They were never married. He never wanted to marry Astoria in the first place. He had wanted to break it off for quite some time, but he knew her parents would be upset and his father wouldn't be very happy either. He wanted to be free, though.
At what seemed to be the same time, the two of them looked at each other. They locked eyes and silently spoke to each other. Both knew what the other was feeling at that moment. They both knew pain, and grief, in their own forms. They felt each other's pain and sorrow. Hermione closed her book, keeping her thumb on the page. Draco moved closer to Hermione slowly.
Hermione knew that if this was some sort of muggle movie, the lights would not be as illuminating as they were, and there would "Unchained Melody" playing in the background, as well as them being teenagers. But this wasn't as romantic as a sappy teenage love story. They were closer to 30 than they were to being teenagers. The lights were all too bright to make it any sort of cute movie scene. She was too caught up in her thoughts to even realize how close she was getting to Draco before they were kissing.
In her mind, the stupid song was playing and the lights were dim. She wanted this kiss to be like a movie, but everything was wrong, expect for the feelings. And they were most certainly mutual. Draco didn't want the kiss to stop. He wanted to stay in this moment forever, but it was over as fast as it had started. The two pulled away from each other, looking into the other's eyes. They stayed silent. Hermione didn't slap him this time, but Draco was still worried as he saw her hand rise up. Instead, her hand went to her own face, lightly trailing over her lips. Of course she had kissed other men, but she hadn't envisioned them to be in a stupid muggle movie. She certainly wasn't celebrating Guy Fawkes Day in her mind as well.
Before either of them knew what they were doing, they were kissing again, Hermione's book completely discarded as they wanted to touch each other, hands clinging and running all over. Hermione's mind was blank as she went with every instinct she had. She had no memory of the night they shared before, but if this was the chemistry now, she could only imagine.
Hermione slowly laid back in the bed as Draco guided her down, their lips never separating. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as they began to lazily kiss each other, but it didn't stay that way for long. The kisses got more heated, Hermione's grip got tighter, and Draco's hands began to inch under her shirt. Soon the kisses began to go down Hermione's jaw and neck. As Draco kissed those areas, Hermione could feel herself getting wet, and she could certainly feel that Draco was in a mutual way.
Once her shirt was over her head, Hermione snapped back to her senses and realized what was actually happening. "Malfoy, wait," she said, sitting up slightly.
He lifted his head and looked at her with a frown. "What?" he asked, pushing his hair out of his eyes.
Hermione sighed and reached out for her shirt. "We can't do this," she told him as she sat up, covering herself with her shirt. "I'd like to think I've changed, and I don't want to cheat on Ron," she said quietly, almost too quiet for him to hear.
Draco shook his head when he heard her explanation, but he would respect her. "Yeah, if you want to," he said as he sat back, looking at her. "I'll uhm…I'll go," he mumbled as he got off of her, heading towards the door.
"Malfoy?" she called softly, watching as he walked away. He stopped and looked back at her.
"What?"
"Goodnight," she whispered, looking away from him as he walked out of the room, mumbling a goodnight before closing the door behind him.
Alone, Hermione letting out a sigh and leaned back on her bed, closing her eyes and silently cursing herself for even kissing Draco in the first place.
