5 days earlier…

Though the light Spring drizzle was soaking his suit that he would have to wear for the whole day, Anthony DiNozzo made no effort to shelter from it or put on a waterproof jacket as he stalked almost soundlessly through the cemetery gates, as he had on this very week for the past 5 years.

Even the birds were quite as his footsteps crunched on the gravel beneath his feet- as if sound was completely prohibited in this secluded resting place. No wind hustled in the trees, no cars sounded on the nearby streets, not a single drop of rain sounded as it hit the ground as he passed through, clutching Martha's Garden blooms in one hand and something else in the other tightly.

He wasn't used to visiting this early; usually he came on the day that It had happened, once he'd come the day after, when he honestly couldn't get out of work that day. He'd never been 5 days early before, but he could feel something brewing, and though he wasn't on any big cases yet, he could feel one about to smack him right in the face. Just in case he was tied up on the actual day, he'd chosen to visit her early- better to be too early than too late. Not that she was going anywhere.

He took a deep breath as he approached her; though he'd been here at least 5 times before, it didn't get easier. It was supposed to, with time, but it didn't. He'd always felt this weight on his chest- guilt: he could've saved her; should've saved her. Instead he'd watched helplessly as she'd gone down right in front of his eyes; the woman he'd dreamed of having, her blood splattering onto his face as her features slackened and her body went limp, every ounce of life slipping from her in a split second. He knelt down in front of her gravestone, replaced the limp roses that someone had put there before him (Abby, no doubt) with the new ones and ran his fingers through his hair, which was sticking to his head in an unflattering manner.

"Hi Kate," he whispered, his almost silent voice seeming loud and empty in the soundless cemetery. The drizzle immediately seemed to die down and the sun projected golden beams of light across the endless rows of headstones. It was as if she could hear him.

"5 years. Long time no see, eh? Well, almost: it will be in 5 days." Tony sunk to his knees on the sodden ground before the stone, not caring if the mud stained his trousers. He tenderly traced the letters of her name on the stone, the name that had been near forgotten by everyone, but he strived to remember every single day. It was the name that resounded in his head when he woke up, the one that he heard whenever he looked over at her desk, the one that echoed even when he was sleeping in another woman's bed.

"They same that it's supposed to get easier with time, but that's a load of crap," he scorned, "it doesn't get any better, no matter what I do. It's been 5 years, and I'm still not over you, or whatever it was we had, or what we could've been. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't miss you, regardless of how we fought at times."

Something rustled in a nearby clump of trees, and Tony's head jerked to look over at the copse of greenery. He saw nothing, but would swear on his life at that moment that something was watching him, hearing his every word, observing his every movement. However, he didn't get up to go and investigate- if there was someone there, which there probably wasn't, they would have to wait until he'd finished his one way conversation with his partner.

"If I could go back in time and tell you how I felt, and still feel today, I would. I would go back in exchange for anything, would do it in a heartbeat. I would give up my life, just to have spent a day with you as your guy, because you may've labelled me as a playboy, but even playboys must have that one person- that one person that is one in a million, that person that no one can replace, that one person that they love with all of their hearts."

Hurriedly, he placed the object that he had been holding at the foot of the headstone. It was a photo frame, holding a picture of the two of them from their assignment to Paraguay. Some guy had offered to take a photo of them in the streets, thinking that they were a couple on a simple holiday. For a laugh, they hadn't refused, and had posed willingly for the photograph, smiles wide, skin tanned, eyes bright. It was one of the few photos that he had of her, and he treasured it. This was a mere copy of the original, which he kept in a frame back home.

Sighing, he stood up, not bothering to check the mysterious rustling in the trees. It had probably been an animal or bird, he thought. "I love you Kate, always."

He didn't notice one bit as a female figure stepped out of the trees, snapping pictures of him with a wicked grin on her face. He didn't notice her pulling out her cell phone and calling a couple of her colleagues, didn't notice anything as he strode back out through the gates.