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Favorite Line(s):
"Well, they were Baptists and ya are Cherokee!"
That next afternoon, as they all filed into the woods for Day Two of their search for the missing Sophia, Dale, T-Dog and Ethan were left behind at the Winnebago. The day was tense to say the least – at least between Carol and Tessa. Tessa, keeping true to her word, made Ethan stay behind with Dale and T-Dog, much to his chagrin, especially when he saw that Glenn and Carl were going – especially Glenn, of whom he had struck up somewhat of a best friend relationship with over the past few days. Daryl didn't argue with her and neither did anyone else. They knew better than to mess with Tessa after the previous night of her going off on Carol.
Daryl especially, after the little incident they had the previous night too.
It had first started when Tessa had been gone longer than what made Daryl feel comfortable and he went to go find her – to make sure that she was okay. Dressed in fresh clothes and clean of the walker guts that had covered him from his surprise walker disemboweling earlier that day, he found her sitting and still steaming on the lowered tailgate of some Ram truck not far from the protective sight of the Winnebago but on the fringes of what the group had deemed 'questionably safe'.
"Hey . . ."
His quiet greeting reached her but she didn't reply – she didn't even react. She simply stared straight ahead, eyes unwavering in their anger and her arms still crossed in front of her chest. He heaved a sigh as he moved over to her and the truck, where he hopped up onto the tailgate beside her. "Ya've been gone for a while . . . everyone's startin' to wonder 'bout ya. Lori wanted to know if ya wanted any dinner too . . ." He told her, his voice still quiet and finally she gave a huff and shook her head.
"I don't and does it look like I care?" She asked him, her voice hard and terse. "I don't want to see her right now - Hell, I don't want to see anyone right now!" Daryl's mouth twitched upwards in a smile.
"Well, ya seein' me right now, ain' ya?" He reminded her and her mouth twitched upwards in a smile as well as she glanced at him.
"Yeah, but your different, Daryl," She told him, her voice quieting and he couldn't help but laugh.
"Oh really - how exactly am I so different?" He asked as a grin appeared on his face, and Tessa shrugged as she unconsciously bit down on her lower lip.
"You can take my troubles away . . . you can make me forget things in ways that other people can't . . ." She spoke and his grin faded down into a lazy smile as he leaned back on his hands on the truck bed. One of his hands moved to rub her lower back and he almost missed the shiver of desire that ran up her spine at his words.
Almost.
"Ya want me to help ya forget now . . .?" He couldn't help but ask her and in the darkness punctuated only by the moon and the stars hanging up in the sky, he could see her thick ebony curls shift against her back as she turned her head to gaze at him. They hung down to the point where the ends almost touched the truck bed and his fingertips played with the tips as he waited for her answer. He couldn't see her eyes but he could just imagine how beautiful they would look twinkling in the moonlight like they were surely doing now if only they had enough light. He then gave a shrug. "I mean, I won' be able to help ya forget for forever, but . . . I can at least help ya 'till mornin', can' I?"
He could feel Tessa's eyes on him as she observed him for a moment. Then, quite suddenly, she leaned over and pressed her lips to his. He wasted no time in returning her kiss and his arms wrapped around her waist, taking her with him as he fell back against the bed of the truck, their kiss loving and deep. Her fingers moved to tangle in his hair as his hands moved over her body through her clothes - cupping her curves and everywhere he could reach as he tore his lips away from hers and attached them to the nape of her neck instead.
Her fingers fisted in his hair and her nails dug into his scalp as he bit and suckled at the sensitive flesh of her neck, determined to mark her as his. He was hard through his jeans – the bulge pressing into her stomach and she let out a low moan as they quickly but clumsily pulled and yanked the clothes from each other's bodies, their movements growing more and more urgent the longer it took. And as their need to be touching hot, burning flesh to hot, burning flesh intensified the quicker they shed their clothing, she moved to fully straddle his hips and he didn't stop her - Hell, he wouldn't dream of stopping her at that point!
When they were finally fully naked, their clothes lying in a rumpled heap beside them on the truck bed, his lips met hers and she sat up slightly as he lifted her up and brought her back down on him. The both of them let out soft sounds of pleasure as he found himself sheathed inside her – her warm heat quickly enveloping him and making him temporarily lose his breath as his eyes darkened in desire. His hands slid up to grip her hips in a tight grip, and Tessa gave them only a moment to adjust to the sudden headiness before she lifted up her hips and lowered them down again. He caught her rhythm smoothly, thrusting up whenever she slid down until soon, she was panting his name. It was then that his fingers slipped down from her hip to tease her, his callused thumb pressing into her bud harshly every time she rolled her hips downwards. Her own hands slid up her body to cup her breasts and he groaned darkly as he watched her roll her wine-colored nipples between her nimble fingers.
He snapped his hips up again and her breath hitched as he hit that sweet spot deep inside her. A few more thrusts like that and Tessa was trembling above him, keening his name as her body tightened around his. Grunting, he tugged her down until he was buried to the hilt in her hot flesh before he released inside her, Tessa convulsing above him.
She sighed contentedly above him when she collapsed on top of him, Daryl heaving a sigh as well as his eyes closed tiredly. His fingers trailed a tickling warm trail up and down her spine and through her hair, and Tessa smiled. "That . . . was just what I needed, Daryl!" She purred, feeling lazy and satiated and he grinned when she stretched like a cat alongside him, her curvaceous body lengthening deliciously against his frame.
"Glad I could be of help for once!" He remarked as his eyes ran along her body and she grinned at the sight.
"Naw, you didn't want to be helpful when you came over here - you just wanted to get laid!"
She could practically see the grin that still split his face at her words. "Yeah, maybe I did . . ." He playfully admitted and they lay there for a moment, drowsing before Tessa broke it.
"Do you think I was a little harsh with Carol earlier . . .?" She asked, her voice quiet and small, and Daryl scoffed as he shook his head.
"Naw, I don' think ya was. Of course, she deserved it, if ya ask me! Bitch should have known better than to bring our son up when tryin' to go up against ya in an argument! Lucky I was so damn tired or she would have gotten ma anger as well!" His voice was bitter and slightly angry when he spoke. However, he smiled as she leaned on one elbow above him. "Ya one regular momma bear, ya know tha'?" He told her and she smiled back as she leaned down and planted a loving, light kiss on his lips, a kiss he readily returned. "But believe it or not, tha''s what I love 'bout ya!" Her eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion.
"What do you mean?" She asked and he chuckled.
"Blame it on ma own shitty mother, but I love ya protectiveness around Ethan – how every second of ya life is dedicated to keepin' him safe. Carol didn' have tha' when Sophia ran off. Now, if tha' little girl had been Ethan, ya would have been out from underneath tha' car and runnin' full tilt into tha woods after him – rippin' off walker heads along tha way! Ya would have done anythin' to make sure he survived – even if ya yaself didn'!" He smiled then as he moved a lock of her blue black hair out of her eyes. "But then again . . . I also love how, despite all of tha', at tha end of tha day, ya all mine. . ." He glanced up in playful secretiveness then, making sure no one was listening in on them before gazing down at her. "I don' know 'bout ya, but I don' think Carol would have been ridin' ma ass with as much reckless abandon as ya were jus' doin'!" Tessa couldn't help but laugh at that, a laughter that he readily joined in with. She settled her head back on his chest and they lay there, dozing for a while.
"Naw man, let her rest . . . she's been a good little mare for one day. I'm impressed, too - didn' think ma baby brother would have been able to train her right! She's a good little ride!"
Tessa couldn't help but close her eyes and suck in a harsh breath as the haunting words appeared, completely uninvited and completely random in her head. She flinched violently at the images that accompanied the words and immediately shot off of Daryl, her arms moving to cross in front of her chest as she did so, her eyes squeezing closed until they hurt. The air around them had suddenly seemed to grow cold - much colder than it had been seconds before.
Daryl's eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion and worry as he sat up as well, his arms immediately wrapping around her in a protective embrace. He was shocked to find her trembling like a leaf and while she wasn't on the verge of sobbing, he could tell she was clearly disturbed.
"Tessa, what the Hell was that?" He asked her as his eyes grew wide with alarm, and she shook her head.
"It was nothing Daryl . . ."
"Tha Hell it wasn' nothin', Tess! For tha love of God, ya jumped up like ya ass was on fire!"
"Tessa, meet ma friend Dennis; Dennis, meet ma little brother's little squaw . . ."
Tessa flinched violently again as she jumped out of Daryl's arms and off of the tailgate. She reached for her clothes and quickly started pulling them on, trying everything in the book to keep the echoing voice from her head and her thoughts as she did so. She started thinking about every good thing that had ever happened to her in her life, which normally helped. Receiving that much longed-for pony on her fifth birthday; winning the spelling bee at ten after she had studied so hard – much harder than any normal child would have, anyway; meeting Daryl for the first time – their first time in the barn . . .
The barn . . .
She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to focus. The barn was no use – the barn was never any use . . . the barn would only make it worse. So she thought about more recent – more vivid – memories in the hope that they would be strong enough to extinguish the one currently plaguing her mind. Being reunited with Daryl after thirteen long years of not seeing him; when they made love for the first time since being reunited with each other; the sex in the shower – the sex they just had . . .
Daryl watched the entire process with a slightly wary eye. What had she thought about that made her act like this? Normally, she was so calm, cool and collected – always keeping her own vigil - always keeping her thoughts close to her chest unless he asked about them. Was it her outburst at Carol and the rest of the stresses of the earlier day that had caused some things to become unhinged?
"Tessa . . .?" He murmured as he hopped down from the tailgate and started pulling on his clothes as well. She shook her head and held up a finger, telling him to wait for just a moment longer as she continued to think as many happy thoughts as she could. She had almost beaten the Memory back, she just needed . . . one more . . .!
When she was done and confident that the Memory was safely crouching on the fringes of her mind, away from where it could do any real harm, Tessa opened her eyes and took in Daryl's wary face. He was dressed now and when he saw the exhaustion in her eyes, he knew it hadn't been from their lovemaking. It had been from beating back that Memory.
"Tessa . . . what tha Hell was all tha'?" He asked, not really knowing if he wanted to know the answer. She stood there for a moment, tiredly searching for the right words to say and when she did, she heaved a sigh, her eyes suddenly appearing twice as old as she actually was.
"That, Daryl, was the source of my depression."
They came upon the tent not long after first entering the forest. Daryl saw it first, like he saw everything of import first in the woods and after Shane remarked about how Sophia could be hiding out in there, he nodded in agreement.
"There could be a whole bunch of things in there . . ." He replied back, his voice quiet as he slowly led the group, single file line, towards the tent. Rick gestured for everyone to stay behind as him, Shane and Daryl made the short trek. Daryl signaled for the other two men to wait as he hunched down and inched his way towards it, unsheathing his knife as he did so. After attempting to peer into the tent from the outside and finding that there was no possible way to do that except by actually zipping it open, he gave a weak shrug to the others and it was then that Rick gestured for Carol to come forward. Her fingers twisted nervously at the strap of her bag and Tessa crossed her arms in front of her chest and rolled her eyes. Oh so now she was playing the part of protective parent!
Daryl's look of firm rebuke that he shot her held her tongue back and her lips pursed in response as she looked away. That was the last thing they needed – Tessa or Carol lashing out against each other again and starting a squabble that any walker in a one hundred mile radius could hear like last time! Daryl continued to gaze at her, however, his eyes running up and down her frame as Rick told Carol to call out Sophia's name – that if she was in there and scared, then it should be her mother's voice that she heard first. He hadn't forgotten what happened the previous night, after they had made love in the truck bed. In truth, the entire thing had kept him up all night as she slept soundlessly, her body tucked up against his side as her head was pillowed on his shoulder. He couldn't help but wonder what she meant by the source of her depression and quite frankly . . . he didn't think he wanted to know because what in the Hell happened to her back then to cause that kind of response in her now?
He had been around animals all his life – he raised them, he hunted them – he tracked them! And that flinching and subsequent trembling, was not because she was cold or anything along those lines – they were the primal reactions of fear – her reaction to something she never wanted to think about again!
Daryl shook his head as he braced himself by the front of the tent entrance as Carol readied herself to call out her daughter's name, forcing the poisoning thoughts from his head as he did so. There would be time to think about those later, hopefully in a future conversation with Tessa – a two-way conversation with Tessa!
"Sophia . . . sweetie . . ." Her voice was soft and gentle when she spoke and all of Daryl's senses attuned to the tent. If there was anything in there alive, he would know the split second it made a movement, no matter how small. "Are you in there; Sophia, its mommy!" Her voice got more tearful and desperate. "Sophia, baby, we're all here - its mommy!"
They waited for a while and when there was no answer, from inside the tent itself or from the surrounding foliage. Then, Daryl finally moved to unzip the tent entrance, Rick and Shane moving to hover protectively over him.
The smell inside that immediately hit them was rank – one of the worst smells Daryl had ever smelled. It was the sickly sweet smell of death and he covered his nose and mouth with the back of his hand as he stepped gingerly inside, his eyes pinned on the still body sitting slumped in a chair facing away from them. He doubted it was Sophia – it was too big to be Sophia – but there was no risk in knowing, right?
He left the tent as fast as he could after he had made sure that it was, indeed, not Sophia, and shot Carol a shake of his head. He had taken the pistol in the walker's hand and Lori settled a gentle hand on Carol's arm at his words. "What's in there?" Andrea asked and Daryl shrugged.
"Just some guy," He picked up his crossbow from where he had placed it on the leafy forest floor. "Did what Jenner said. He opted out. Ain' tha' what he called it?"
Everyone fell silent as he approached Tessa then, taking out his knife as he did so. Back turning towards everyone so they could have some relative privacy, he held the knife out to her, handle first. Her eyes grew wide as she glanced down at the dangerously sharp blade before turning her eyes back up onto him. "What are you doing?" She asked quickly, and Daryl shook his head.
"Since ya were so adamant 'bout Ethan not comin' out here with us, ya have no protection since I can' track and keep ma eyes constantly on ya at tha same time. Now, I remember tha' ya couldn' shoot tha broad side of a barn with scattershot, but I also remember ya not bein' so bad with blades and a bow. Since there's no way in Hell tha' I'm givin' ya ma crossbow, take ma knife instead and give me some damn peace of mind, will ya?" His voice was slightly terse when he addressed her and her lips pursed in response as she took it none-too-kindly from him.
"What's wrong with you?" She asked and he sighed.
"Nothin', I'm jus' irked tha' I have to give ya ma favorite knife because ya gotta hold a grudge! Tha' and I'm still reelin' from last night," His eyes flashed with an emotion that she couldn't rightly place. "And not exactly in tha way I would like to be reelin' too!" Her eyes became slightly sad then as she placed a hand on his chest.
"Daryl, you know that I would never -!"
The slightly faint sound of church bells splitting the calm forest air around them at that moment – the slightly faint sound of church bells that interrupted Tessa mid-sentence - made everyone practically jump out of their skins upon hearing it. For a split second, Tessa's hand tightened in his shirt before releasing with relief. They turned to glance at Rick, to see his reaction, only to see him point in the direction they were coming from before taking off. They had no choice but to follow him, Daryl grabbing ahold of Tessa's hand and pulling her after him.
The church they found themselves facing moments later was the quintessential deep Southern church. Small, white and looking like it had been taken out of a history book of Puritan times and placed in rural Georgia, it was surrounded by a small graveyard and miles and miles of forest.
It also had no steeple.
Shane immediately echoed the statement as they filed out of the woods and into the meadow. "That can't be it. It's got no steeple – no bells!" Rick shook his head and took off after it anyways, Shane gritting his teeth and calling out his name as they had no choice but to follow him. Pretty soon, they were all taking off at a run for the church and when they stepped inside, they immediately found themselves facing three walkers, two males and a female, all dressed like typical backwoods farmers. Lori handed Rick an ax and Tessa quickly handed Daryl an ax that Andrea had pressed into her hands in turn – Daryl shoving his crossbow into her hands as he quickly assessed the weight and sharpness of the ax. It wasn't soon after that Rick, Shane and Daryl had quickly dispatched the walkers in sprays of congealed blood and relatively noiselessly.
Tessa, meanwhile, had been slowly making her way up the red carpeted aisle to the rather grotesque image of Christ on the cross hanging behind the pulpit and it was to her that Daryl walked to first. The rest of the group followed slowly behind her as Rick immediately begin to yell Sophia's name and kick open doorways in order to see if she was there - if she had been the one ringing the bells. Tessa's hands fluttered over his arms as she turned her gaze onto him. "You okay?" She couldn't help but ask him and even though she knew good and well that he was. It was starting to become a reflexive question with him and Ethan, one that she found she had little to no control over. He nodded as he turned to face her. His hand slid behind her neck and he brought her up on her toes a little bit so that he could press a loving kiss to her forehead.
"Yeah, I'm fine. What 'bout ya?" His keen eyes noticed the hesitancy in her stance as she gazed up at the idol of Christ on the cross hanging before them and she nodded, although reluctantly. Her fingers were at the pendant hanging around her neck again.
"I'm fine, it's just . . ." She shook her head. "I haven't been in a church in a long time – since my grandmother died, in fact. I just . . ." She shrugged. "It feels weird, is all. It's like I don't belong here . . ." Daryl gave a flippant shrug then as he rubbed her lower back soothingly.
"Well, they were Baptists and ya are Cherokee!" He told her before turning to gaze up at the idol for a moment, silent as well before he eventually nodded towards it. "Yo, JC . . . ya takin' any requests?"
They turned around then, Tessa rather reluctantly and with Daryl's hand pressed into her lower back, and they returned to the group, where Shane and Rick looked like they were having, yet again, another battle for dominance.
"I'm telling you, it's the wrong church! It's got no steeple, Rick! No steeple means no bells!"
The bell started ringing then, as if by Shane saying the magical words suddenly made them appear, and the speed with which Daryl and Rick sprinted from the church, momentarily made everyone's heads spin as they gave chase behind them. They ran around the side and what they saw, while no bell hanging in a steeple was indeed a bell. It was an automated one that Glenn was already turning off as Rick's face became stony.
"Timer . . . it's on a damn timer!" Daryl remarked, out-of-breath and while everyone there felt keenly like there was an individual egg on each of their faces, Carol remarked, very airily and a tad faintly:
"I think I'm gonna go back in for a bit . . ."
And slowly but surely, everyone followed her.
Tessa and Daryl lingered behind, however, as Andrea moved to sit down against the church wall beside the bell, and as they moved to stand on the steps of the church, Tessa's arms moved to cross in front of her chest. Daryl approached her and she turned her gaze onto him. "What's up?" He asked her in concern as he traded her the ax for his crossbow, and she shook her head.
"I just . . . it's silly, I know, but I don't want to be in there. I don't feel welcome in there and I don't want to be in there with her!" She told him and she didn't need to elaborate on to who she was referring to. He knew she meant Carol.
He sighed and gingerly – tiredly - rubbed the back of his neck. "Tess, I'm on ya side, ya know I'm on ya side!" He told her and her eyes flashed as he continued: "But . . . I think ya need to try and make ya peace with her. Everyone is gonna be actin' like they walkin' on eggshells around ya two until one or both of ya do!"
She glared at him icily although he could tell in her eyes that she knew he was right. Eventually, she sighed in surrender and shook her head as she averted her eyes to the cement steps under their feet. "I don't . . . I don't know how to do that . . ." She reluctantly admitted and Daryl let out a dry laugh.
"And ya think I do? When have ya ever known me to say sorry to someone?" He asked and she laughed and shrugged in agreement. She turned her eyes up to him and she immediately noticed the exhaustion in his face and his eyes . . . her heart twisted.
"I wish . . . I wish last night could have made you feel better instead of giving you more worries!" She confessed quietly as they moved closer and as his hands moved to cradle her waist, hers moved to clench at the back of his arms. "I swear . . . I swear to God, Daryl that, that was not my intention!" He shook his head as he placed his forehead against hers.
"Don' worry 'bout me none, babydoll. I didn' sleep last night for a lot of reasons, not jus' ya, although it was a pretty big reason!" He gave a weak smile then. "Although I do wish it helped, too . . . it was pretty fuckin' amazin' otherwise!" She grinned and laughed before shaking her head.
"You know I would never lie to you, Daryl." He nodded.
"I know it . . ." He replied quietly, slowly, and she continued:
"It's just . . . remembering that is hard and . . ." She shrugged. "It affected more than just me and I want to tell you, it's just . . . I haven't figured out how to go about it just yet!" The answer didn't exactly make him feel better but it did make him feel better knowing that she wasn't intentionally keeping it from him.
With a gentle smile, he took her hand and gently pulled her towards the scarlet red doors of the church. "Come on now, let's go on inside. It's hot out here and if Godless me can go in there, then ya can too!" She laughed as she allowed him to pull her inside and when they entered, she found Lori and Carol sitting in the front pew, the closest they could get to the figure of Christ hanging behind the pulpit. Tessa glanced back at Daryl who nodded towards them before pushing her gently forward. She stumbled ungracefully a little before making her mechanical, clearly uncomfortable way over to them.
"Father, forgive me . . ." She heard Carol speak out as she neared them and her heart immediately skipped a beat. Here she was, praying. Tessa had never been one who found praying soothing – she had never been really religious to begin with! In fact, everything religious had a bad habit of making her skin crawl and feel overall very uncomfortable. Not-to-mention being around Merle and Daryl since she was sixteen didn't help matters either when it came to religious matters. Hell, they were the epitome of backwoods Atheists!
"I don't deserve your mercy!" She continued as Tessa rigidly moved past her to take a seat in-between her and Lori. Lori smiled a small smile at her and adopted a look of slight curiosity on her face but didn't say anything. "I prayed for safe passage from Atlanta and You provided. I prayed for Ed to be punished, for layin' his hands on me and . . ." She hesitated here. "And for lookin' at his own daughter, with whatever sickness was growing in his soul. . . ."
Tessa flinched at that and even Lori froze a little, although they still stayed quiet as she continued: "I prayed You'd put a stop to it – to give me a chance to raise her right and help her not make my mistakes. She's so fearful. She's so young in her way. She hasn't had a chance!" She gazed up at the idol for a moment, her voice lowering substantially. "Praying for Ed's death was a sin. Please, don't let this be my punishment! Let her be safe – alive and safe! Please Lord – punish me however You want, but show mercy on her!"
She trailed off then and glanced behind her almost in embarrassment over how many people had heard such a secret conversation. Tessa glanced behind her as well and her eyes connected with Daryl's. He made a subtle nod and after pursing her lips slightly, Tessa leaned forward and took Carol's hand. The older woman immediately turned a look of shock on her and Tessa smiled what she hoped was a comforting smile, as did everyone else in the church. Tessa swallowed hard.
"I . . . I won't claim to be religious but . . . if there is a God, then I don't like to think that he would take away a woman's child so easily – especially when she is as grieving for her as you are," She shook her head. "I had no idea about Ed, Carol. What he did – what he wanted to do to little Sophia, is unforgivable. There's no reason for God to punish you for wishing death onto someone like him!"
Carol's eyes steadily filled with tears at Tessa's words and when she was done, she nodded and took both of her hands in hers. "Thank you . . . so much Tessa!" She whispered before shaking her head. "And I . . . I am so sorry! I should never have cast judgment on you so quickly – I was so angry and I was so hurt! Please, can you ever forgive me?" Tessa smiled a small smile and nodded.
"Of course I can. Everyone deserves a second chance," She told her and Carol immediately broke out into a grateful smile as she hugged her, Tessa slowly hugging her back as again, the voices and cruel laughter threatened to enter the forefront of her thoughts again.
Well . . . almost everybody deserved a second chance . . .
