"So…you want me to go to church with you."

"Yeah," Roxas sighed. "Ugh." He flopped on his bed with a dull thud.

"May I remind you that I wanted to name a band Deaf Sex, I have tattoos on my face, and I am very, very flamingly homosexual?"

"Yeah, I'm aware. It's what my parents want. Or what they think they want."

"Mm. Alright." Axel collapsed onto the mattress, joining Roxas. His legs hung off the edge of the bed. "You know, I've always wanted to have sex in a church."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Yeah well. Let's save that for the next church visit after this."

"Can I get that promise submitted to me in writing?"

"We'll see." Roxas turned on his side, propping his head up on his elbow. He stared undisguisedly at Axel. Ever since Axel had returned, he couldn't stop himself from doing this. He felt a compelling need to memorize the details of Axel's face—the way his eyelashes lightly kissed his face when he blinked, the indescribable green of his eyes that his memory never did justice, the faint scar above his left eyebrow, the single dimple that formed when Roxas earned a lopsided grin from him. Roxas felt his heart swell.

Axel shifted to face Roxas. They stayed like that for several moments, just looking at each other. Into each other. The tone in the room shifted, a calm settling over as Roxas peered unabashedly into sea green eyes. Finally, Roxas broke the silence. "Sora said my parents want to meet the person I'm dating. I don't know what he's told them, but I'm not even sure if they realize that I'm not dating a girl," he muttered.

Axel sat up, a quirked eyebrow giving way to an entirely furrowed brow. "You—but I'm the one who's meeting your—who you're dating—me—Tidus?"

"Wow, I never thought I'd see the day that I made Axel Leone tongue-tied," Roxas remarked with a hint of self-satisfaction.

"Rox—"

Roxas held up a halting finger to Axel's lips. "Hold on, I just want to relish in this moment a little longer," he hummed.

"Roxas," Axel pleaded, his eyes brimming with emotion.

"Yeah…so…" Roxas bit his lip. "I broke up with Tidus."

"You…broke up with Tidus." Axel blinked. "You want your parents to meet me. The person you're dating. I'm—I'm the person you're dating. We—we're dating?" Axel stammered.

Feeling bold, Roxas leaned forward and connected their lips. Axel's eyes remained open for several moments, flitting around, seemingly connecting the dots in his head. Roxas deepened the kiss, finally getting Axel to relax and submit to it. Axel hands found Roxas's face. Roxas smiled into the kiss. He placed his hands gently over Axel's, breaking the kiss up into small, chaste pecks peppered sweetly over Axel's lips.

Axel wasn't having it. He took hold of Roxas's hands, pinning them to the bed above Roxas's head and leering over him. Axel leaned in until their lips were a hairbreadth away from touching. Well there goes stammering, tongue-tied Axel, possibly never to be seen again. And now back to our regularly scheduled programming. Axel hummed a soft, contemplating noise.

"What?" Roxas grinned, arching up ever so slightly to brush his lips against Axel's.

Axel broke the connection of their lips again, keeping teasingly and dangerously close. "I'm just thinking—I never even got to ask you to be my boyfriend proper."

"Hmmm," Roxas hummed in return. "Yeah, you're right."

"Roxas," he murmured.

"Mhmm?"

"Will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?"

"Let me think about that," Roxas answered. "See, this is where I would stroke my chin in faux-contemplation but—" he paused, wiggling his fingers underneath Axel's grip. "You've got my hands pinned to the bed."

Axel shifted his hands to perch on the bed above Roxas's shoulders. With his newfound freedom, Roxas instead clasped his hands around Axel's neck and pulled him down into his reciprocating lips. This kiss was different. It was deep and achingly slow, a dancing embrace. Roxas sighed into the kiss. It was like his first breath of air after drowning, drowning, drowning. It was a kiss of mutuality, an unspoken vow passed between them.

Roxas was the one to finally break the kiss. "Alright, you convinced me," he murmured jokingly. He nodded more vigorously, his eyes suddenly welling up with more emotion than he expected. "Yeah. I want to be yours. I mean, I already am yours." He ran along thumb along Axel's face, where he knew Axel's dimple hid.

"So…boyfriends. Exclusive. Like, a verbal agreement to only kiss each other."

Roxas nodded, blinking away the tears in his eyes. "Yeah," he grinned. "And no fake girlfriends to get in the way this time."

"Hey Roxas, guess who got here early?" A voice shouted from the hallway.

"Oh shit," Roxas breathed. He quickly pushed Axel up off of him, knocking him onto the floor moments before Sora opened the door. His parents stood behind, their eyes staring appraisingly in.

"Heeey," Roxas said as coolly as he could manage. "Who's excited for church tomorrow?"


Their hands were close.

Roxas tried hard not to think about their proximity. Especially after yesterday. Especially since his parents were sitting directly next to the two of them.

But he felt touch-deprived. Like his skin hungered for the brush of Axel's skin, for the warmth of his touch. He shuddered, shifting in his seat and trying to watch the sermon. Of course, it was about homosexuality. It was like his parents planned this or something. Maybe they did, planning their trip home just when their church would deliver an anti-gay lecture. Or maybe they asked the church personally to deliver a sermon to reach out to their lost, sinful son. Either way, it was pretty fucked up.

"If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them."

Roxas tuned the heated voice of the pastor out, again focusing on Axel. His arm was right there, on the armrest right next to Roxas's. Roxas held his own hand open, tilting it towards Axel's but not touching it. He brushed his wrist momentarily against Axel's, looking away and pretending not to notice.

Axel shifted, and the breath in Roxas's lungs stilled. The side of Axel's hand came in contact with Roxas's, but their hands remained unclasped.

It was driving him nuts. He was trying so hard to act like he was paying attention to God-related things but every ounce of his attention and energy was concentrated in that singular point on his body where Axel's skin was connected with his. He was afraid to breathe for fear of giving himself away. He couldn't draw too much attention. Plus, he wanted Axel to make the move. He couldn't lose his sleight of hand.

His heart thumped erratically, sending more blood flow to his hand. Time felt suspended. Time felt fast. This was all so dizzying for Roxas. To think Axel was straddling him the other day and now he was freaking out over getting Axel to hold his hand.

And then he felt Axel's hand move. It slid along the side of Roxas's, trailing out an agonizing path. And then he stopped, having sufficiently scooted his hand to the edge of his armrest. Roxas tried to stuff his heart back down his esophagus, where it had leapt. The side of his hand tingled where Axel's touch had been.

He dared to make a move back. He shifted the angle of his forearm slightly rightward, the cup of his hand facing Axel's hand more directly. An invitation. The maneuver also caused his forearm to brush against Axel's ever so slightly. Roxas dared a sideward glance, searching Axel's expression. Axel's eyes were focused ahead on the pulpit. Alright. Two can play at that game.

Roxas flexed his fingers, curling them out and back in serially, managing to lightly brush the back of his knuckles against Axel's skin. He felt another movement and his entire body felt rigid and energized at the same time. An explosion and a standstill. Axel tilted his hand into Roxas's. In one fluid motion, Roxas fit his hand reciprocally into Axel's. His entire hand felt like stars burning in the night sky. Like bees and hummingbirds buzzing through his blood and into his waiting fingertips.

He couldn't stop the smile that immediately erupted, breaching the stoicism on his face. He tried to squash it, to erode the notion that this had been his all-encompassing desire this entire time, but he couldn't. He didn't dare to spare a glance at his parents, for fear that they were watching with horror. Not only was his son bathed in sin, but he was celebrating said sin while in the house of God.

And then Axel shifted again and Roxas was wrenched from his thoughts. He parted his fingers ever so slightly, unfolding his hand. Roxas followed and Axel entwined their fingers.

And Roxas's heart melted. Truly, he didn't give a fuck about the sermon anymore. Not that he ever really did.


"So—mom, dad. I guess I should formally introduce you. This is Axel."

"Hello, Axel," Dad said. He extended a hand and exchanged a firm handshake with Axel.

Axel nodded. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you," Mom echoed. Her eyes were tracing a path from Roxas to Axel and back to Roxas. Roxas swallowed thickly.

"So…you wanted to meet who I'm dating. So. This is Axel, my boyfriend," Roxas stated, albeit a bit loudly. He didn't really want to repeat himself. He just wanted to get this over with. He was so done with secrets and closets and peanut butter.

"Boyfriend?" Mom repeated with incredulity.

"Yes ma'am," Axel replied in earnest, nodding.

"You knew about this?" Dad inquired, looking at Sora.

Sora nodded.

"Roxas, may I speak with you in private?" Mom interjected.

Roxas exchanged a look with Axel. Great. "Yeah, sure." He followed as she walked into a separate room of the church.

"Roxas," she sighed. She pinched the bridge of her nose. "What is this about? Are you doing this just to spite your dad and I? I know you've been bent out of shape with us since the move, but we really raised you better than this."

"Honestly, Mom? Do you really think I 'turned gay' just to spite you? Are you really that self-involved? No. I tried to be straight, okay? I tried. I convinced myself that I was. And I moved through life like a fucking zombie. I slept all the damn time. Every day was just going through the motions."

She gripped Roxas's arm and dropped to an intense, chiding whisper. "Roxas—I'm your mother and this is a church. Please stop swearing."

Roxas pulled his arm from her grip. "I don't know why I'm even bothering to explain this to you because I know it won't get through to you, but my life was at a standstill until I met Axel, okay? Axel was the one who jolted me up to speed."

"Speed—Roxas are you doing drugs?"

Roxas ignored her. Honestly, he was saying this more to himself than to his mom. Like a self-affirmation. Confirming everything he'd already known with finality. "I came out to Sora, I came out to my friends. Axel walked into my life a pedestrian and came out my catalyst. I'm happy, Mom. And that's all I really care about anymore. So, really, if you don't agree with it, I don't care. You can't force me back into the closet. I'm 18. I'm an adult. You can disown me for all I care."

"Roxas—"

"Bye, Mom." Roxas turned on his heels and walked briskly back into the previous room, grabbing Axel quickly by the arm from whatever conversation he was in with his dad and pulling him out.

"Let's go, Axel."


"I don't really want to talk about it," Roxas said finally.

They were sitting in Roxas's car about 50 miles from home in some random parking lot. Roxas just needed to get far, far away from his parents. Maybe he'd never go back. Okay, maybe that's a little extreme. But he'd wait at least until his parents went back to their company HQ in Hong Kong or wherever-the-fuck it was now. He was just happy being where Axel was.

"That's okay. Let's talk about something else."

"Okay…" Roxas took a deep breath, clearing his head. "So, I have to ask. When you were at the cemetery, were you…expecting to see me there?"

Axel wrinkled his nose. "'Course not. How could I have known that?"

His mind flitted to the notebook that Naminé had showed him. "With the past few days I've had, I'd believe just about anything right now."

"Roxas," Axel said seriously. He took Roxas's hands in his. "I was just diagnosed with a medical condition called intimacy deprivation. If you don't kiss me, I might die."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Gross."

Axel shrugged with a grin. "You said you'd believe anything right now. Was worth a try."

Roxas leaned forward, pressing a lazy kiss into Axel's lips. "Better?"

"For now."

Roxas shook his head and chanced a second eye-roll. "Mm. So you were just visiting your mom. Not looking for me."

"Yeah," Axel replied. He reached over, smoothing a piece of Roxas's hair down with an affectionate smile. Roxas watched—he savored when that smile came along. It was softer and much rarer than his cheeky grins and teasing smirks.

"Didn't you say that your mom would talk to you in your dreams?"

"Yeah. Pretty much nightly, too."

"So why did you need to go to her in person? I mean…at her resting place, in-person...you know what I mean."

Axel sat up a little straighter. "So…my mom would repeatedly show up in my dreams asking me to come home. I kept telling her, 'Mom, you know that's not what I do. I can't stay in one place.' But she insisted. She just kept saying to trust her and to come home. So, after weeks and weeks of her repeating the same thing in all of my dreams—which was getting pretty annoying, I'm not gonna lie—I came back to town. I stayed with Demyx for a few days, but still Aerith was showing up in my dreams, saying 'come home, come home'. It made no sense to me. I was home and she was still showing up. So I came to the cemetery to see if she could give me any better revelations there. I mean, it was worth a shot, right?" He looked at Roxas with a calm smile. "Then you showed up there and I finally realized."

He leaned forward, tracing his thumb along Roxas's cheek before placing a soft kiss on his forehead, his nose, his lips. "You're my home, Rox."

Roxas's eyes glittered. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope. He handed it wordlessly to Axel. God, Romantic gestures were so not his thing. Roxas's heart was thumping in his chest. And he was going off the supposedly premonitory dream journal of some girl. It was honestly insane.

"What's this?" Axel asked, quirking a red eyebrow.

"Open it," Roxas urged. Please.

Axel pried open the envelope, revealing a note adorned with pink and red hearts. He unfolded it, revealing two stick figures, crayon hearts dancing wildly around them. He blinked, running a hand along the illustrations. A smile of disbelief came upon his face, washing away into quiet intensity. His green eyes were set ablaze, brighter than Roxas had ever seen them. Roxas wanted to preserve this moment in time forever, to etch it into his identity.

"You remembered."


A/N: So that's it. Excuse me while I go get emotional about the end of my first chaptered fic. It's been quite a ride.