Chapter 17 ; Sounds Good
Once again an insane wait for this update, and I apologize once again for this fact.
A promise to you all though, I SHALL NEVER GIVE UP ON THIS STORY!
I cannot promise when updates will be but slowly but surely they will get churned out eventually, I find with this story I started writing it years ago and my entire direction and style of writing has changed since then, so I sometimes get hung up on some of the past chapters but I don't want to waste more time going back and re-writing them, when I'm sure you all just want to get a new installment!
I have a lot more of story to tell! So I hope your all still with me and I thank you profoundly for that if you are!
Enough of my jabbering for now! ENJOY THE CHAPTER!
Sky's POV
"Drink some more coffee please," Craig laughs as I drain the last dregs from my coffee cup as he speeds down more winding lanes.
"You know you've got more authoritarian with age," I giggle as I drop the empty cup and grab one of the other large Starbucks cups and take a swig of the strong coffee.
"And you are between, pissed and hung-over, not a good combination seen as you have school in an hour!" He laughs as he draws nearer to La Push High.
"Exactly, another day in that place I need to be wasted," I tell him laughing still as my head fuzzes slightly.
"How's your nose feeling?" he laughs as I reach up to my nose and feel the cold sliver ring embedded in my right nostril.
"Great! How's it look?" I ask pulling the visa down and opening the mirror to see the nose ring, it looks slightly red but not too noticeable.
"Hot," He tells me, I just nod in agreement and drink more coffee as the rest of the car journey passes quickly as we catch up more over what's happened in the past 8 months, I feel my headache start to set in as I really am towards the end of my alcohol buzz and finish off the coffee in my hands. As we pull into the parking lot I see Embry, Paul and the others stood in their usual place, Craig parks near to them about a few rows over and down, as we climb out the car a few of the bottles at my feet tumble out as I drag my bags from the foot-well.
"Ergh, that noise," I complain as Craig crouches to grabs them up and chuck them into the back seat of his car.
"Awwhhh, you feeling rough?" he asks a sarcastic grin smeared across his face.
"What do you think? I haven't slept in over 24hours and the hangovers kicking in," I complain while he just laughs.
"This is why drugs are so much better than alcohol," he chuckles.
"Fuck off, you'll feel shit on your come down!" I snap he just pushes me gently against the side of the car laughing.
"True but that wont be for a while," he smirks.
"I really can't be fucked for today, can we go back to Seattle?" I ask him smiling sweetly.
"You know I'd say yes, but I have money to make and you have to sit at a desk and copy from the board," he laughs at me.
"For some reason your day sounds better than mine," I say sarcastically.
"Can't imagine why," he laughs, I play with the cuffs of his shirt and jacket.
"Thanks for last night, I had a good time, and thanks for understanding why I didn't…" I trial off crossing my arms over my chest.
"Don't mention it; it was just like old times right? Except you were freakily well behaved," I raise my eyebrows at this, "Well… behaved compared to how you can be, not one fight, you didn't take any drugs, which I'm proud of you for, but is still weird to see, and possibly the biggest shock of the night, you didn't fuck anyone, hell you didn't even get with anyone!" Craig exclaims with a laugh.
"I didn't feel like it," I tell him give him a hard stare.
"And it's got nothing to do, with a certain someone?" Craig asks with raised eyebrows.
"Who are you talking about?" I ask feeling my back stiffen, as I glance ever so slightly towards where I know Paul's standing.
"One of your brothers friends by that glance," Craig tells me with a smirk.
"Think what you want, but your wrong," I say with a sigh.
"So you're not sleeping with one of your brothers mates behind his back?" Craig questions.
"No," I tell him defiantly.
"So Embry knows?" Craig asks smirking.
"No I'm not sleeping with him full stop, drop it okay," I tell him with a glare.
"Yet you know who I'm on about?" Craig's grin is shit eating, "The one that looks like he wants to stab me," Craig adds chuckles.
"There's nothing going on okay," I snap.
Craig watches me for a few beats before he speaks his face smiling kindly now, "I wanted to see how things stood before I spoke to you about Matt," Craig says, I should have known Matt would be mentioned at some point, considering he's Craig cousin.
"What about Matt?" I ask.
"Things alright with you two?"
"He stayed the night before I flew out, but neither of us has contacted the other since I left, which is fair enough, me and him will always be okay," I say smiling as I think of Matt.
"He's flying out here in a few weeks, I didn't say anything because you didn't bring it up," Craig comments.
"I didn't know, he never said anything, like sure he talked about visiting you and stuff, but I thought you lived in California whenever we spoke about it," I explain.
"Yeah, in about 2 week's time he's coming to stay," Craig tells me.
"Why didn't anyone tell me? I mean why didn't even he tell me," I say my face hard.
"It's Matt, you know as well as I do that he doesn't have a clue what day it is a lot of the time, he probably forgot I spoke to him yesterday morning to remind him about his flight," Craig says with a laugh.
"That does sound like him," I laugh.
"So it's not because of him that you didn't get with anyone," Craig states eyes smiling.
"Me and Matt, we got high and fucked, we were never loyal to each other, we both got that, he's a good friend," I say smiling as I think of my handsome fuck buddy.
"I remember when Jonnie rang me about May time and told me about Matt getting arrested for breaking and entering your school," Craig laughs.
"Yeah and that had nothing to do with his possession of drugs charges and fucking a minor in the school toilets," I laugh.
"I take it that minor weren't you, like you would ever fuck someone in your school toilets!" Craig says sarcastically.
"He got off without any charges, luckily we'd snorted the majority of what he had on him otherwise he would defiantly have been fined or something," I laugh.
"Didn't you get suspended for that?" Craig asks.
"Probably, I was always being suspended," I laugh as does Craig.
The ringing of Craig's phone cuts our laughter as he pulls it from his pocket. "Speak of the fucking Devil!" Craig laughs down the phone, I look at him for confirmation and he says "Matt!" to me before speaking to his cousin.
"Yeah, I'm just dropping her back at her school, we were literally just talking about you," he pauses and laughs before holding the phone out towards me. I look at the phone for a few beats before taking it and holding it to my ear.
"Hey," I say.
"Sky, fucking hell what a coincidence right?!" Matt's voice laughs down the phone and I feel a smile spread wide across my lips.
"I know right, how are you?" I ask him.
"Yeah, I'm alright, I'm heading out in a few weeks, did Craig tell you?" he asks.
"He just said, why didn't you mention anything?" I ask waiting for his answer.
"I forgot and everything's been really busy lately, how you holding up? You staying cleanish?" he asks his voice gentle.
"I slipped up my first weekend, Ian rang and yeah, but it was not even half of what we sometimes done," I tell him biting my lip.
"Don't beat yourself up about it! You've cut down, think about the positives yeah Sky," he says his voice encouraging.
"I am, it was just a slip," I say nodding my head, before remembering he's all the way back in England right now and cant see.
"You getting laid?" he asks with a cheeky tone in his voice now.
"Fuck you," I retort.
"You already did," both Craig and Matt respond and I laugh loudly before explaining to them that they said the same thing.
"Anyways, I'll see you in a few weeks yeah?" I ask him.
"Of course you will, we'll go out and get fucked once I'm over!" Matt exclaims.
"For sure," I tell him grinning.
As we say our goodbyes before hanging up, Craig watches me with a smirk.
"Just friends right?" he says eyes laughing.
"I've already said friends that used to fuck a lot, so drop it okay!" I tell him laughing.
"And there are no feelings there?" he probes his hands tickling my sides.
"What asides from the orgasms?" I snap back pushing him away with a laugh. "We don't feel anything for each other bar that, like we're good friends but neither of us are really relationship material, we both love sex, drugs and partying, it was a good set up, besides he's great in bed, just like me so it works," I say laughing.
"Well who doesn't love a girl who can handle her powders and pills and is still a great shag?" Craig asks sarcastically.
"You wouldn't know," I tell him poking my tongue out at him.
"A fact I'm proud of considering your seven years younger than me," he says tickling me again.
"Get off, Matt's older than me too," I point out sarcastically.
"By a year and a half, he's seventeen, and you're younger than everyone!" Craig tells me laughing.
"Yet I look and act older than most of our lot back home," I say with a laugh.
"True, anyway, haven't you got a class to head to?" he asks me pinching my cheeks as I bat his hands away.
"Yeah, thanks again for last night I had a good time, we'll go out again soon," I tell him reaching up to hug him tightly.
"It was really good catching up with you, next time, get a flight from Port Angles cuts an hour and a half off the journey, of course we'll go out again if I remember rightly you are turning the youthful age of 16 soon," he says as he lets me go.
"Shut up! But yeah I'm sure I'll see you then," I comment as he hands me my bag and climbs back into his car, and opens his window to shout to me.
"Enjoy the hangover!" with a wave and a wink as he pulls out the parking space.
"Enjoy the comedown when it hits you arsehole!" I comment back as I wave before walking towards Embry, who's watching every step I take.
"Hey," I greet as I reach them all hugging Embry tightly I hear him inhale sharply.
"You alright?" he asks me casually but I can see the hard glint in his eye.
"Yeah, I'm feeling the start of a hangover though, we didn't sleep, as we knew the three hour drive was gonna be long, so I'm gonna be a bit tired but I'll be fine I can sleep tonight," I tell him smiling.
"What's with the nose?" Embry asks as his eyes zone in on the silver ring in my nostril.
"Well I was going to get my tongue pierced," I start to say and watch as some of the guys eyes widen before I carry on, "But I realised I was really hungry so I chose my nose, looks good right?" I ask Em.
"Yeah it's not bad," Embry smiles
"Did your nose hurt?" Beth asks me.
"No, it was fine, it felt like a stapler," I tell her.
"And what happened to your legs?" Embry asks me sharply.
"I kind of might have like fell off a kerb," I say to him with a hopeful smile.
"I take it you were stone cold sober at this point," Embry says in a sarcastic voice.
"Yeah, strictly orange juice all night," I tell him with a wink as everyone laughs.
"So you had a good night?" Erin asks from Seth's arms.
"Yeah, Craig's house is insane! You guys can all come next time he said he'd be cool with it," I say smiling.
"All of us?" Erin asks laughing.
"Yeah his house is fucking huge," I say shaking my head.
"We'll see," is all Embry says as the bell rings and we all start to head towards our home rooms, I glance over towards Paul who is stood watching me intently.
"You okay?" I ask him smiling as I move over to stand next to him.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he says blankly.
"Right, well erm, are you coming in?" I asked him feeling myself frown.
"Yeah come on," he says walking next to me.
"Seriously what's up?" I ask him after a few moments of quite between us.
"You two looked pretty… close," Paul's voice is tight.
"I didn't get with anyone last night," I tell him staring straight into his eyes.
"Sounds like a first," he says nastily.
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" I question him angrily.
"It doesn't even matter Sky, I've just, it was weird knowing you were Seattle with someone seven years older than you, and you getting up to who knows what, I was worried and after you called Embry, I just, I dunno Sky," he tells me his voice confused as he looks at me, for some unknown reason I feel my anger at him evaporate and I reach out for his hand.
"Nothing happened, I didn't get with anyone and I didn't touch anything," I tell him sincerely.
"Honestly?" he asks me his eyes boring into mine.
"Yeah, I drank but that was it," I say back so quietly I wonder if he hears me.
"Thank you," he says bringing me into a hug, I wrap my arms around him inhaling deeply loving his scent surrounding me.
"For what?" I ask against his chest.
"For being honest," is all he says as we let go of each other and he runs a hand down my arm.
"We better get to classes," he says with a chuckle.
"I'll see you at lunch," I state nonchalantly.
"Yeah," he says smiling and hugging me once more before we both walk in the direction of our home rooms; I slip into the class and sit next to Seth who smiles at me though he stays quite.
"What's with the smile?" I ask him nudging his arm.
"Oh nothing," he says.
The next couple of classes pass slowly and I feel my head start to ache as Zoe, Seth and I make our way to the canteen for lunch.
"So who was that guy that dropped you off?" Zoe asked as we walked.
"He's a friend from England, he's living in Seattle at the moment, but he only moved a few months ago from California, he might go back there but I think he's staying up in Washington for a while," I tell her, finding myself telling her more than I normally would to people.
I've found I've become less harsh to people, more open almost, well not open, just not as closed off and snappy, being away from Ian and Carol seems to have taken some of the bitterness away from my personality.
"He was really hot," Zoe comments giving me a sly smile.
"Yeah, he aint bad looking right Seth?" I ask Seth with a laugh.
"I don't really have an opinion other than he had a cool car," Seth says laughing.
Both Zoe and I shake our heads at him as we queue up to get our food, as I open my purse to pay, my eyes catch the half full baggie and I feel them widen before I take a deep breath and hand over the money, telling myself firmly No Sky as I shut my purse and push it back into my bag. I smile as I realise I am strong enough.
Zoe goes and sits with some of her other friends and Seth and I approach the table where only Beth, Collin and Brady are sat.
"Hey," they all greet as Seth and I sit down.
"How you feeling?" Brady asks with a laugh as I open a bottle of cold water and chug down half of it.
"Like fucking shit, but it could be worse," I say shivering as I think of how bad some of the come downs I've experienced have been.
"That's true," Embry comments as he kisses the top of my head before sitting opposite me, I just smile at him as I drag a hoodie out of my bag and pull it on before opening a big bar of chocolate, and take a bite out of it.
"Could you not break it up and share?" Quil asks in an offended voice sitting down with Jake, Erin and Paul.
"No, you wouldn't share," I respond once I swallow the yummy chocolate.
"I so would!" Quil exclaims, as everyone at the table shoots him disbelieving looks.
"Sure you would, fatty," Jake says pushing Quil who glares at his best friend.
"Behave children," Kim comments as her and Jared also grab chairs and sit down.
I reach down into my bag and pull a packet of headache tablets out I quietly hold them up for Embry to see before popping two of the tablets out of their container and take them, after he nods his head at me.
"Bad head?" Paul asks me from his seat next to me.
"Yeah, I can go and sleep soon, I'm tried more than anything else," I tell him with a yawn.
"So you didn't get any sleep last night?" Paul asks.
"None, but I'll be okay I just need to get through the next few hours," I tell him smiling and finding myself leaning towards his inviting warmth.
"What did you end up doing?" he asks moving his chair closer to mine.
"We went to his first and some of his friends turned up, we ended up having a party at his before heading out to a club," I say laughing bringing my feet up onto my chair and wrapping my arms round my knees.
"What's funny?" Paul asks his eyes alight as he watches me.
"After I rung Embry, Craig said we were heading out but we didn't go anywhere for about another hour, I was just hanging out in the kitchen chatting with some of his friends when I went to the toilet in his room, I'd left all my stuff in his room anyway so it made sense to go there," I say before laughing again and then explaining, "He was shagging some girl from New York, and he was like 'you alright Sky?' and just carried on while I went into the bathroom, the girl was so shocked it was insane as me and Craig are chatting away as he carried on fucking her, it was so funny, she didn't know what to say," I explain laughing.
"Seriously, why didn't you just walk out?" Paul asks.
"Oh that sort of thing doesn't bother me and I've walked in on Craig shagging girl's loads of times," I say with a shake of my head.
"You two are that close?" he asks with raised eyebrows.
"We've always got on really well, and it just doesn't bother me I suppose," I say suddenly feeling awkward, normally I'd explain that he's walked in on me enough that we don't care, but I don't want to say this in front of Embry or to Paul which confuses me.
"Fair enough," Paul states blankly after a few beats of silence where we watch each other.
"So how did the chick feel about the situation?" Jared asks leaning forward to join the conversation.
"She weren't too impressed but Craig's Craig, so she was alright," I tell him with a laugh.
"What do you mean?" Kim asks with a sly smile.
"Well… Craig's a charmer always has been! I think last night alone he fucked about 4 girls," I explain with a shake of my head.
"Seriously?" Kim asks her face full of shock.
"Yeah, he's good looking, and if he wants a girl he'll get her, we used to like point out the hottest girl in a club and be like go on then, he would always get laid, I dunno what he does but he can sweet talk anyone, it defiantly helps with his work," I say snickering.
"I thought it was Ben who always got the girls?" Embry asks from across the table, his face amused.
"He does as well, he's hotter than Craig but he's not as smoothly charming, but to be honest all the guys I used to hang out with would get laid on a night out it was just a given," I say with a smirk.
"That's so lovely to hear!" Embry exclaims.
The buzz of my phone stops my reply as I drag me phone out my pocket seeing a message from Elle; a picture pops up on my screen of her dancing in her kitchen with a text saying 'Wish you were here!' I smile broadly as I take in the white tights and green dress on her skinny frame arms raised above her head moving to unknown music.
"Who's that?" Paul asks his breath hot on my neck I feel a shiver run through my body ever so slightly as I glance at him.
"Wh-what? Oh this is Elle," I say pulling myself together and handing him my phone.
"Are those tights white?" he asks me with a laugh in his voice.
"Yeah this is a seriously normal outfit for Elle, that's her kitchen she's in," I explain.
"Normal? Okay," Paul agrees with a smile as he hands it back to me.
"One day at school she came in with fairy wings," I tell him giggling at the memory.
"Really? And the school just let her?" he asks laughing.
"They should do with the amount her parents paid for her to go there!" Embry says shaking his head.
"Paid? For her to go to school?" Seth asks hearing Embry's comment.
"Yeah they went to private school, where Mummy and Daddy pay ridiculous amounts for them to get educated," Embry says his voice attempting to sound posh.
"You went to private school?" Paul asks me in surprise.
"Yeah, fat lot of good it done Elle; she can't even remember how to tell time!" I laugh.
"Never had you down as a rich kid," Jared says with a smile.
"I'm not." I snap my eyes blazing.
"Sky," Embry snaps at me.
"What?" I snarl.
"There's no need to be so rude," he tells me.
"Its fine, I didn't mean to offend you," Jared says his face confused.
"You didn't, I'm just not a 'rich kid', they have money, not me," I tell him, he nods seeming to understand more than my words let on.
"So Elle wore fairy wings to school one day?" Paul asks changing the subject I smile at him grateful for the change.
"Yeah, she was really drunk and had on a pink tutu as well I might have a photo of it!" I tell him scroll through my pictures and finding it, her in her school shirt with a pink tutu and fairy wings a bottle of whiskey gripped in her hand on our school field.
Paul laughs loudly as I hand my phone to him again.
"She's so skinny, and she looks absolutely wasted," Paul comments with a laugh.
"Yeah she's tiny," I agree.
Paul flicks to the next picture and pauses, I blush ever so slightly as he looks at me with raised eyebrows.
"These are before and after type pictures, like that's how our uniforms were supposed to be, and the next ones of how me and Elle actually wore them to school," I explain, he snickers at my flushed face. The picture's of me and Elle showing us with our red and black skirts touching our knees, white ankle socks and our shirts done up to the collar, the red and black tie tight round our necks tucked into the grey pull over jumper and then the grey blazer with our school crest on the breast pocket.
"You look so hot," Paul tells me a smirk on his face.
"Yeah alright, that's the only time I ever wore the correct uniform and it was for a joke," I tell him shoving his shoulder as he flicks to the next one and then he looks at me in disbelief.
"You used to go to school like that?" he asks me his eyes wide and his expression… hungry? Lustful? I feel a rush run through me at his look, before I turn my gaze to the photo he's talking about.
"No, that's what we wore to a school themed party," I explain with a laugh before continuing, "I wasn't bad enough to wear ripped fishnet stocking to school," I laugh.
"Is that Elle?" he asks me pointing to the girl next to me.
I smile at the picture; both Elle and I rolled our skirts over as many times as we could manage before our bums would show for sure. Our ripped fishnet stockings and black stilettos elongating our legs, our shirts were knotted just under our boobs our bras and cleavage on full show, ties hanging undone round our necks, topping off the look we both had our long blonde hair tied into high messy pigtails.
"I always look so huge next to her," I say laughing.
"No you don't," Paul tells me quickly his voice and face serious, I give him a funny look before Jake leans over.
"Woah she's hot!" he comments his eyes wide.
"Don't say that in front of her brother or boyfriend," I laugh.
"I could take 'em," Jake says in a manly voice flexing his biceps, I laugh loudly.
"You could have a go but the last guy who tried it on with Elle when we were out… Jonnie broke his arm," I say laughing at the memory.
"Seriously?" Jake asked with raised eyebrows.
"Yup, Jonnie's a lovely guy you just don't mess with Elle, because nothing stops him," I say thinking of Jay.
"Is that her brother?" Brady asks.
"No, Ben's her brother, Jonnie and Ben are best mates, have been since they were little kids, Jonnie and Elle have only just started going out," I explain, before I could even think about telling him to mind his own business.
"Whose he?" Paul asks me suddenly, I look at my phone and see Matt stood with me dressed as a school girl, his arms wrapped around my waist his hands resting on my stomach, my own arms raised high as we both smile for the photo, I feel my face pale ever so slightly and I swallow into a now dry throat, I glance at Paul whose looking evenly towards me his expression unreadable.
"Umm, that's, that's Matt he's just another friend from England," I say before reaching to take my phone knowing what pictures he might come across next, "You don't want to see any others they're all pretty boring just us wasted at parties," I say just as he flicks to the next his face tightening before he hands my phone back to me.
"Real good friend's right," is all he says I look down at my phone and see myself with my legs wrapped around Matt's waist his hands just at the edge of my skirt pulling my panties over my bum as we kiss heatedly.
"Exactly that," I tell him quietly, slipping my phone back into my pocket.
"You gonna last the rest of the day?" Erin asks me with a smirk.
"I could last another two days like this if I had to I just really don't want to," I laugh with her.
"You coming to the beach tomorrow?" Beth asks me.
"I haven't heard anything about it," I say.
"Yeah well you were busy last night," Embry says with narrowed eyes.
"Don't be jealous, come along next time? We can get a flight save time?" I suggest smiling at him.
"I'm sure it's really my scene," Embry says sarcastically.
"Course it is," I tell him with a wink, to which he laughs.
The bell rings and we all stand heading to Gym, as we head to the changing rooms Erin's girlfriends converge on me.
"So who exactly was that rather beautiful guy who dropped you here this morning?" Georgia asks her eyes alight.
"He's an old friend from England," I say with a smile.
"And what kind of friend might that be?" Becky asks winking in my direction as she strips her shirt off.
"Not that kind," I assure them, laughing as they deflate knowing there wasn't going to be any gossip.
"Hurry up girls!" the teacher shouts the door as we change into our shorts and t-shirts going to head outside, were a lot of the guys are waiting.
"You sure nothing happened Sky, I mean look at your legs!" Becky stated walking next to me.
"I fell off a kerb," I explain with a laugh, feeling my phone vibrate letting me know I've received a text, I pull it out and check the message feeling my head cloud over with anger immediately.
I stare at the text for a few minutes before I turn and walk back into changing rooms ignoring everyone around me, I dig through my bag and pull my purse from inside, opening it and pulling out my ID and a note, my fingers reach for the baggie, I pull it out and walk into one of toilet stalls.
Putting the lid of the toilet down and sitting pulling my phone out, wiping the touch screen clear, I sit breathing heavily for a few moments, feeling the hate course through me. That ache I'm familiar with rushes through my body.
Just a little and it will take it all away… a voice whispers through my head.
I raise the baggie to eye level and look at the white powder inside, I feel the excitement run through me as I merely look at it.
You are better than this I hear another voice tell me, I close my eyes and I see Paul's warm brown eyes, I don't know why but a smile pulls at my lips. I see his smile and I feel his arms around me.
I drag in a deep shaking breath and stand, lifting the seat up.
"This will only hurt you," I whisper to myself as I open the baggie and tip the powder down the toilet in a quick movement before I can change my mind, I feel a gasp break through my lips as I look at the powder now wet and irretrievable, I shake my head as I flush the chain. Taking a deep breath before walking out the cubicle and changing back into my shorts and hoodie I wore throughout the day putting everything back.
I sit on the bench breathing deeply for a few moments before I rise picking up my bags and walking out of the changing rooms heading for the outdoor track where I can see the rest of the class stretching, stood in different groups before some start to run around the track.
I walk over towards the teachers and stand looking blankly at them.
"I've hurt my legs I'm not doing P.E today," I state in a voice that sounds unlike my own, I see their eyes flicker down to my legs which are lightly cut and bruised from where I fell.
"Do you need to get them checked by medical?" one teacher asks.
"No I'll sit in the stands," I say turning and walking over to the stands climbing half way up the stands before sitting and pulling out my cigarettes and lighting one bringing my legs close to my chest and pulling my hood up wrapping my arms round my knees as I inhale the calming smoke.
"What's wrong?" Embry's voice asks me, I should have known he wouldn't just leave me be.
"Who's to say something's wrong?" I ask him looking forward not towards him, I feel him sit next to me.
"You were fine, has the headache come back?" he asks me turning my face to look at him, I just shake my head.
"Sky, what's going on, come on talk to me," he pleads.
"I'm so weak," I tell him through gritted teeth, pulling my face out of his hands and looking off into the distance.
"No you're not, your doing really well, its been a long day and your hung over just chill and we can have a take out tonight and you can sleep as much as you want okay," he suggests with a smile, when I don't respond he continues, "I cant help you if you don't talk to me," he says his voice firm.
I sigh and reach into my bag handing him my purse, he takes it from me and opens it up confusion across his face before he pulls out the empty baggie, his face turning angry.
"Where is it all? Is that what you went back to the changing rooms for?" he asks me his voice deadly.
"Yes," I say quietly.
"Why, you done so well last night, look at me," he demands his hands grabbing me and turning me to him.
"I flushed it!" I shout at him, before squeezing my eyes shut tightly willing the anger and these feelings of confusion and hurt and desperation to disappear.
"You what?" he asks confused.
"I sat there with every intention of snorting the lot, knowing everything would feel better with just that hit, taking everything away, making it all better, knowing I wouldn't feel this way anymore, but then this little voice that had been egging me on was over powered by a stronger voice, telling me that I'm better than this, and I saw hi-" I stop talking as I flick my eyes to where I see Paul jogging round the track his posture stiff, "And I stood and flushed it before I could change my mind," I tell him tilting my head back towards the cloudy sky.
"What made you go to it? Why did you even have it on you?" Embry asks me taking my hand in his gently.
"I forgot it was in there till I saw it at lunch when I paid for my food; I offered to carry some for Craig in-case anything got taken off the others, that was all that was left I forgot to give it back to him, and I wanted to do it because I forgot." I say and Embry looks more confused, "Mummy dearest text me," I tell him with a shrug, before feeling my eyes well up I wipe furiously at my face, "It was kind of nice what she said for once," I say with a hollow laugh.
"What did it say?" Embry asks me pulling me into his side.
I pull my phone out and read aloud when I get to the message, "'We hope your okay and behaving for Helen, its quite here without you, ring either of us if you need anything, love Mum and Dad' with one kiss," I tell him trying to keep my voice void of emotion.
"They just want to make sure your okay," Em tells me kissing the top of my head hugging me tightly.
"Why could they have never said that to me in person? I can't remember the last time they said they love me, or to ring them if I needed anything, that's a joke, always another meeting to go to or holiday to go on!" I snap angrily.
"Sky they've never been good at showing emotion, and I know they left you alone a lot of the time, but do you want to maybe try talking to them?" Embry asks softly.
"NO I fucking don't, I want nothing to do with them, the only time they ever spoke to me was to shout, always palming me off on babysitters until I was old enough to stay on my own or stay at a friends," I tell him angrily.
"Okay," he says quietly as I turn my face into his shoulder breathing deeply as I feel sobs shake me ever so slightly, "It's okay Sky, I'm so proud of you, your doing so well! Mum and I love you so much! It's going to be okay," he tells me rocking me gently.
"I can control this, but Em, I just want it so bad, I'm not even joking the excitement the pure adrenaline that ran through me as I sat there holding that baggie, my body literally ached for it! I felt alive looking at a bag of fucking drugs!" I tell him gasping a choking breath in.
"But you didn't take anything, I'm so proud of you! This is how you deal with it from now on okay? You talk to me, you can do this, that rush doesn't last, you can be happy without it! I promise you!" Embry tells me his voice calm and steady as he looks into my face his eyes filled with honesty.
"I love you," I tell him, hugging him tightly.
"I love you too, more than anything Sky," Embry says kissing my forehead, his arms tight around me.
"It's so weird," I mumble against his chest.
"What is?" he asks pulling away to look at me again.
"Last night, I knew I would be fine, even in that environment, I felt that same ache for that high and that feeling, but I didn't, just like in England, I had a great night and I didn't need anything! Yet a message from them and I just it's what I know, what I feel I just it gone and that's where I turn," I tell him shaking my head.
"I know, but you shouldn't have to okay, you are gonna feel like this, but we can work with it, you flushed when it would have been easier for you to just line up, this is an improvement okay," he tells me his voice determined.
"I will slip up though, I'm bound to and I don't want you to hate me when I do," I whisper to him.
"I know you will, but I am here for you, if you slip at any point you come to me okay, the fact you know a slip will be a bad thing is reassuring," he says with a smile.
"Yeah, and I've cut down everything even when I slipped last," I say thinking of what Matt said, I glance at Embry before speaking again, "I spoke to Matt this morning," I mumble.
"Yeah?" he asks his face impassive.
"Em, he's coming out here, to stay with Craig and to see how he likes the States," I explain to him.
"At least I get to meet him now," Embry says with a sigh after a few minutes.
"Yeah, I spoke to him about my slip up on the first weekend," I say leaning against him.
"What did he say?" Embry asks.
"He knows what it was like for me, he said as long as it was less than what we used to do it should be seen as an improvement, he said not to let it get me down," I tell him biting at my lip.
"It is an improvement, that's all you got to remember," Embry tells me.
"Yeah, is Paul still pissed with me?" I ask quickly and quietly.
"Why would he be pissed with you?" Embry asks his voice taking on an amused tone.
I sigh giving Embry a look to which he just grins as I speak, "He was funny this morning, and he kinda saw a picture of me and Matt on my phone," I explain giving him a look as he pulls a pained face.
"Oh, nice picture?" Embry asks with hope in his eyes.
"Well Elle took it and sent a load of pictures from that party in bulk to my phone and yeah I forgot about it," I mumble.
"Why do you care what Paul thinks anyway?" Embry asks me smirking, I punch his arm.
"Don't be a dick, I don't I just, well, I don't know okay," I tell him looking away from him.
"I'm sure he's fine," Embry says quietly, I just nod with a sigh.
"I don't get it," I say quietly.
"Don't get what?"
"How I feel, I don't get this way, like ever," I mumble pulling away from him and rubbing both hands over my face before taking another drag of my cigarette.
"Are we still talking about Paul?" Embry asks me his voice impassive.
"I suppose, like what's his fucking deal?! Like he's a player, whatever, so why's he being like I don't know, just different from what I'm used to?" I say confused.
"He likes you, and I know you like him, as much as it pains me to say, but give him a chance, he won't mess you about Sky," Embry says hugging me.
"But that's exactly what I mean, what's a chance, like I don't get any of that shit!" I exclaim.
"Just go with it, don't shut him out, he might be able to help," Embry says with a slight smile.
"Helen said something similar last weekend," I muse.
"Well we're both probably right," Embry laughs before continuing, "Look the class is over, head to the parking lot and I'll meet you there?" he asks.
"I'm gonna stay here, I'll walk home," I tell him.
I wait as I know Embry will make some sort of protest about me being on my own but a smile lights his face as he gets up.
"Okay, I've gotta help Sam with some things so I'll be back later tonight," he says hugging me.
"Erm okay," I tell him confused before Embry rushes away.
I sit staring out across the field for god knows how long before I see a figure jog up the steps towards me; I smile as I recognise Paul.
"Hey," he greets as he sits down next to me.
"Hey," I reply smiling at him.
"So Embry asked me to take you home, he's gotta help Sam I dunno if he told you, but I was thinking we could hang out, get a pizza or something maybe," Paul suggests before he starts to ramble "I know your tired so we don't have to, and it doesn't have to be late-" I cut him off.
"Pizza sounds good," I tell him with a laugh. "And we can go to mine, Embry said he wouldn't be back till late and Helens working a late shift as well so we could er I dunno watch a film or something maybe," I suggest feeling as awkward as I sound.
"Movie sounds good," Paul tells me with a heartbreaking smile.
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Hours later Paul and I are sat on the living room floor in front of the coffee table eating pizza out the box, laughing at the crappy show on the telly. And it's been like this since we got home, being around Paul is just so easy, almost too easy, he's cocky, he's confident, he's an arse, but he's funny and he listens to what I have to say. I can't even remember what we've spoke of, but everything's just seemed so natural, conversation flows easily just like it did when we went to Port Angles.
He's not once asked me why I was sat in the stands or my parents or drugs or last night even, he's just seemed to know I don't want to talk about it.
His cheeky attitude has me laughing and for some annoying reason every smile or laugh from him makes my heart beat just that little bit faster.
Chapter 17 = DONE!
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Once again thank you so much if you are reading this at all and of course a huge thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter!
SarahMaree14 ; Sophie ; Delete Your Account ; VballBabe44 ; snowmanbk & theoutsider19
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Holly Ox
