I'm probably gonna start doing a few new things starting with the next few chapters. The first thing I'm gonna do is update once a day and that's it. So, I'm gonna try and not do the whole double chapter a day thing, mainly because its confusing me and I feel like I may be bogging you guys down with chapters and thus, not getting me as many reviews (that's a theory). Not-to-mention I feel like it'll stabilize the story itself a little bit. So if I don't update for a day or so, then don't be alarmed, its me either writing the new chapter or waiting for more reviews :)
Another thing I'm gonna start doing because I saw multiple other author's do this, and which I am actually gonna start next chapter depending on how many reviews I get for this, is reply to every review I get at the bottom of every chapter for the previous chapter (if that made any sense at all). This way, I can get more in touch with you guys and converse (even if it is somewhat one-sided) and maybe that way, you guys will review more and all that jazz. All of this is to get more reviews, basically, because I feel like I'm lagging and I feel the need for more hoopsbah to keep writing.
But, enough of that for now! Onward with the next chapter which will primarily be a Daryl centered fic again . . . I guess :)
- Nagiana
Favorite Line(s):
Damn, it was only his first day out of bed and already he was being slapped, threatened and told he was gonna be a daddy again. Could this day get any worse?
Daryl was still being cold towards her in the morning when they were all grouped around the campfire eating breakfast. In fact, everyone seemed subdued that morning. Lori and Rick looked like they were partially dead to world and as Tessa took her customary spot beside Daryl with her plate of food he acted as if nothing had happened between them the previous night – as if she hadn't come on his fingers and then him just pass it off as something that was his 'duty' and no longer his 'pleasure'. He didn't even greet her the same way he normally did – with a peck on the lips and a lazy hello. Hell, even Carl and Ethan seemed languorous that particular morning.
Tessa glanced at Glenn and noticed, however, that he was on the verge of saying something – something huge. She glanced towards Dale leaning against a nearby tree beside Shane. The old man nodded resolutely in much younger one's direction and immediately Tessa's breath caught in her lungs and she latched a hand onto Daryl's forearm. He turned an alarmed gaze up to her and she glanced at him.
"Do you feel that?" She hissed to him and he slowly shook his head.
"Feel what?" She swallowed heavily.
"Something huge is about to happen . . ." She told him and she immediately noticed his body tensing as he moved back to his breakfast.
"Ya prolly imaginin' things . . ." He muttered, however, even his eyes jumped warily up to the Glenn when he moved to nervously stand in the middle of the group.
"U-Uh, guys . . .?" He nervously began and everyone politely turned their gazes onto him. Tessa's hand tightened on Daryl's forearm and he fought he urge to take her hand in his as Glenn continued on. "So, yeah, there isn't an easy way to say this, but . . . yeah, the barn is full of walkers."
The whole camp suddenly became so silent, that for a moment, it was like you could hear a pin drop. Daryl heard Tessa release a frightened 'Holy shit!' as he sat up straighter in his chair. Even Ethan sitting beside him tensed slightly, as did the rest of the people there who the news had settled in as soon as he had said them. The ones who hadn't - who were slower in the mornings than the others . . . the looks of dawning understanding on their faces were truly unsettling to behold.
Rick . . . Rick looked like he was about to grab an ax and suddenly start hacking people to bits.
"Well I'll be damned . . .!" Daryl's awed voice came from beside her and Tess turned her head to gaze at him.
"What is it?" He shrugged then, the same look of awe on his face.
"I called it, didn' I? Didn' I say somethin' 'bout this place rubbin' me tha wrong way when we first got here?" He shrugged then. "At first I thought it was Hershel - how I kept gettin' tha feelin' tha' he was keepin' somethin' from us and I was right! Here it is - here's tha reason tha' points out the fact tha' I had been right!"
"Shane, where are you going . . .? Shane, wait a minute, now -!"
Tessa heard Daryl let out another curse then at Andrea's hurried words as he shoved his plate full of scrambled eggs into her hand and quickly got to his feet, where he ran after Shane with Andrea and T-Dog in quick pursuit. Tessa in turn got to her feet as well as the rest of the group and after placing the plate forgotten in her chair, quickly followed after them. The massive cop was making a beeline for the barn and when they got closer to it, they all heard it . . . the moaning and shuffling of walkers coming from the inside.
They all hung nervously back as Shane peered cautiously into the slat in-between the doors. When a walker suddenly appeared, snarling in front of him, Shane let out an angry 'tch' and moved back to the group, where he gave Rick an angry stare. "You cannot tell me that you're alright with this!" He snarled and Rick shook his head in bewilderment.
"No I'm not – how can you think I am?" Rick asked before shaking his head. "However, we are guests here and this is not our land!"
"Your damn right - this is our lives!" Shane all but roared back and it took Glenn's nervously shifting eyes and his calm voice to even begin to calm them down in the slightest.
"Guys, you should probably lower your voices -!"
"We can't just sweep this under the rug!" Andrea interrupted Glenn but her voice came out much quieter and calmer than either Shane or Rick's. She immediately jumped on Shane's side of things and Tessa rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"Stay outta it, babydoll . . ." She heard Daryl mutter to her and she glanced up at him and pursed her lips in irritation but nodded nonetheless.
"It ain't right – not remotely!" Shane readily agreed and this time, it was Daryl who rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"Stay out of it, darlin'!" Tessa hissed back with vehemence and Daryl shot her a slightly mean, but amused look. Seemed like ever since she jumped the gun faster than she should have and shot him, Tessa couldn't stand Andrea almost as much as Daryl himself couldn't stand Shane. It made him breathe easier too. You couldn't like everyone and it'd be irrational to think that you could get along with everyone - he was glad Tessa was no longer trying to.
Tessa had a good idea why he was so pissed at her too. Relationships were built on trust, not lies and deceptions, and Tessa would be the first to admit that she was keeping a pretty big secret from him and he knew it. She thought she knew pretty damn well why she wasn't telling him and as stupid as a reason it was, she still couldn't bring herself to build up the courage to lay her cards out on the table.
"We've either got to go in there and make things right or we've got to go!" Shane continued and Rick turned around, where he pinned him with a look. "Now, we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time -!"
"We can't just go!" Rick interrupted him through gritted teeth and a vein in Shane's forehead began to pop out slightly.
"Why, Rick? Why can we not leave?" He demanded angrily and Tessa immediately knew why from Rick's point of view that they couldn't leave. It was because Lori was in the same boat that she was and the both of them would rather give birth with a vet than anyone with no medical experience of any kind at all, which is what they faced without Hershel. The only difference between them was that Lori had told her husband.
Instead of Rick answering him, though and telling him that, Carol stepped forward instead, her arms crossed in front of her chest. "We can't leave because my daughter is still out there!" She spoke, her voice shaky but strong, and Shane let out a snort of a laugh.
"Okay, I think it's time that we all just start to consider the other possibility -!"
"Shane, we're not leaving Sophia behind!" Rick interrupted him again and it was at this time that Daryl stepped forward. Tessa tried to keep a fumbling grasp on him but he shrugged out of her touch easily and instead, kept the same even pace towards Shane. If there was anyone in the group that wasn't scared or intimidated by Shane in the slightest other than Rick, it was Daryl and for good reason. He had met infinitely more intimidating men in his life – his own damn father included – and it would certainly take more than a high-and-mighty, my-shit-don't-stink Shane to intimidate the man who had literally grown up believing that smashed beer bottles against his head, broken bones and cigarette burns were code-names for 'I love you'.
"Look, I'm close to findin' this girl," He spoke up. "For shit's sake, I jus' found her doll two days ago!" He had moved in-between Shane and Carol then and Tessa tensed, immediately knowing a confrontation quickly brewing when she saw it. Shane let out another snort of laughter.
"You found her doll, Daryl, that's what you did. You found a damn doll."
Daryl's anger started to grow and Tessa tensed further but Daryl's eyes on hers stopped her from moving. He might have been pissed at all Hell at her for not trusting him with obviously a pretty big secret, but he sure as Hell wasn't about to allow her to step into anything that could potentially get her killed or seriously hurt. "Ya don' know what tha Hell ya talkin' 'bout!" He snapped back and Shane shrugged.
"I'm just saying what needs to be said!" He replied and Rick, realizing the quickly brewing danger like Tessa did, immediately placed himself in-between them, ready to quickly diffuse the situation should and when it arose. "You get a good lead and it's in the first forty-eight hours -!"
"Shane, stop!"
"Let me tell ya something else, man. If she were alive out there and saw you coming all methed out with your buck knife and geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction!" He stepped closer to him, his voice lowering slightly. "You take that shit back to that whore ya fuck on a daily basis – I bet her ass loves that kinky shit!"
Tessa had never seen Daryl try to launch himself at someone as quickly as he did when he tried to launch himself at Shane at that split second after he registered that he called her a whore. Rick, always in-between them, barely managed to keep Daryl off of Shane before having to turn around and keep Shane from jumping at Daryl in turn. He expertly kept the two men off each other for a moment but Tessa could tell Daryl was only getting more heated as him and Shane shot obscenities at each other. Daryl would shove Shane, Shane would push back harder and soon, Rick was finding himself overpowered. Glenn, Andrea and Lori found themselves quickly grouping around Shane and keeping him back while Tessa and Carol hurried over to Daryl, Tessa's hand moving to take a clamping hold on his shoulder. She could feel every tense muscle in his entire body and his eyes burned holes of pure, fiery hatred into the man standing across from him the entire time. She would even go so far as to bet that the man's very blood was boiling with anger in his veins.
"God I fuckin' hate him!" Daryl hissed through gritted teeth and Tessa nodded, shushing him soothingly as she moved to place herself in front of him, her hands moving to plant on his chest. Daryl might be pissed but she knew he wouldn't barrel past her to get to him.
"Won't you back off, Shane?" Rick snapped at him as Shane wrenched himself out of Lori's grasp and pointed a threatening finger at her.
"Keep your hands off of me!" He growled at her as he moved to stalk off, his eyes burning holes of equal intensity into Daryl. Daryl could only further grit his teeth in anger as Tessa shot Carol a small smile over her shoulder.
"Don't worry, I got him under control." She quietly assured her and Carol asked her if she was sure in a slow, hesitant voice that Tessa immediately nodded at. Believe it or not, she had seen and handled Daryl when he had been much angrier than this.
"Now just let me talk to Hershel," Rick spoke up, his hand outstretched to Shane. "Let me figure this out."
"Just what are you gonna figure out?" Shane roared at him as he marched his way over to them, Lori immediately interjecting herself in-between them.
"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land, Shane!"
"Hershel sees those things in there as people," Dale's voice came next and Tessa felt Daryl's muscles start to slowly unwind underneath her hands as the minutes ticked by where Shane wasn't overtly threatening him or sending him death-glares. He allowed her hands to remain planted on his chest and when he noticed her slightly frightened breathing, he glanced down at her and wrapped his arms around her waist, where he brought her closer against his chest. She knew he wasn't doing that because had forgiven her - no, it took much more for Daryl Dixon to forgive someone. He did it because he knew that with her there, he would have a much lesser chance of doing something stupid to Shane if the man suddenly wheeled around to challenge him again. "He sees them as sick people! His wife, his stepson – they are all in there!"
"You knew?" Rick asked in disbelief and Dale sighed and nodded.
"Yesterday, I talked to Hershel," He admitted. "I wanted to wait until this morning to say something, but Glenn wanted to be the one," He explained as he gestured to Glenn, and Shane, who was still as angry as someone in the middle of a Roid-rage, immediately spoke up again. Daryl let out a 'tch' of disgust as he moved his arms out from around her waist in order to cross them in front of his chest. Tessa took that cue to back off him and she did by shifting backwards somewhat.
"Goddamn, tha man loves to hear his own voice, don' he?" He muttered and Tessa glanced at him before turning her eyes back onto the discussion at hand.
"Whether or not Hershel thinks those things are alive or not – they have to be dealt with!"
The walkers in the barn must have heard their heated discussion, for the chains on the double barn doors started rattling and the wood started creaking as they began shoving against the door, growling hungrily as they did so. It quieted everyone enough for a few minutes of much needed thinking and eventually, Rick sighed and turned back to everyone. "I'll talk to Hershel about it, I swear! Until then, we'll watch this barn like the plague. If any walkers get out, we'll know about it and we'll deal with them accordingly then. Do you all understand?" Everyone stayed silent for a moment before every one of them slowly but surely nodded in agreement. Everyone moved back to camp to do whatever they needed to do to keep their minds off of the walkers in the barn, including Daryl and Tessa. He latched onto her upper arm and practically drug her away.
"I don' wanna see ya or Ethan anywhere near here, ya understand?" He asked, his voice dripping with still angry venom and although she knew the anger was directed primarily at Shane, she still didn't like be manhandled. She let out a dry, humorless laugh as she stopped and yanked her arm none-too-kindly out of his grip. He stumbled backwards slightly when she did it and him flinching at the pain in his side almost made her regret it - almost.
"We wouldn't be caught dead near that barn and you know it Daryl! Now what the fuck is going on with you?" She demanded through angrily gritted teeth and Daryl let out an angry, dry laugh then.
"Oh, I don' know, possibly because ma own woman would rather let me fuck her -"
"You didn't fuck me, Daryl, you finger fucked me - there's a difference!" She interrupted him with a hiss but he rolled his eyes in reply.
"Oh well forgive me for not makin' tha' distinction tho' it's still fuckin'!" Tessa rolled her eyes in disgust as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. He continued on. "Ya would rather let me finger fuck ya then even begin to tell me what tha Hell has been botherin' ya lately to tha point to where ya not even eatin'!" He shook his head. "I swear to God, Tess, its somethin' happenin' to ya after another! First, it's this whole shit with ya depression and with Merle and then Jenner and tha paternity test and now it's this! When in tha Hell are ya ever gonna tell me what tha Hell's been botherin' ya?"
Her anger at him immediately cooled and a look of uneasiness appeared on her face then as she shifted nervously from foot to foot. This was her chance. This was her chance to tell him that she was pregnant. This. Was. Her. Chance!
However, like always, she felt her throat constrict whenever the words would come to her lips and she found that she didn't have anything that she could tell him. What was wrong with her? Why was it so hard to tell him shit now? It used to never be this way! Did what Merle do to her and then keeping all those emotions and fears bottled up inside and from him ruin her whenever it came to telling him something important?
Eventually, though, tears filled her eyes as she numbly shook her head. A look of stormy rage appeared in his eyes then as he rolled them and threw up his hands up incredulously into the air. "Of course – of fuckin' course – I should have expected this! Don' know why I didn't!"
"Daryl, wait, please -!"
"No, Tessa, I'm done waitin'!" He roared back, interrupting her mid-sentence. He shook his head when he got her wide-eyed, deserved attention. "I'm tired of all this bullshit – I'm tired of all this lyin' and deceivin' and-and . . ." He trailed off then and threw his hands up in the air again in exasperation. "I don' know! Jus' . . . let me think 'bout where we go from here, okay?" He asked with an exasperation huff and it was then that she tearfully called out his name. When he ignored her, just kept walking off in the general direction of the horse barn, was when she ran forward and latched onto his arm. She spun him around, threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. He froze at first and when she broke apart, tears moving down her eyes, he understood just why.
"Daryl, I'm pregnant!" She gave a teasing laugh then and for a moment, through her tears and that grin of relief, Daryl thought that was one of her prettiest moments. "And thank God I'm one hundred percent sure that it's yours this time!"
The words came out slightly frightened and tear-filled through her watery laugh. However, when he turned his look of completely stunned shock onto her, she bit down on her bottom lip and carefully lowered herself back down onto her feet. Her hands moved to his shoulders instead of being looped around his neck and he swallowed hard and shook his head.
"I don' . . . how . . .?" He shook his head again. "Tess, I don' know how to . . .!" She nodded in agreement.
"I don't either. If you need time, I understand. God knows I did!" She assured him with another light laugh and Daryl nodded numbly as he slowly backed away from her and towards the horse barn again, their hands the last things to part. He held her gaze searchingly for a moment before pursing his lips and turning around, where he continued at a quicker pace for the peace and quiet of the horses. Damn, it was only his first day out of bed and already he was being slapped, threatened and told he was gonna be a daddy again. Could this day get any worse?
Your damn right it could.
He had been in the middle of transporting the saddle for the horse – Nelly, the one that had thrown him earlier - from the tack room to the barn aisle, when he heard a soft voice come from behind him down by the Northern entrance of the barn. Expecting Tessa, he turned around to gaze at her, a slightly hopeful look on his face. However, that hopeful look was replaced with an angry scowl when he realized that it was just Carol.
It was always damn Carol - always getting' into his business and shit.
He slung the saddle onto the saddle rack with a burst of exertion that sapped his strength quite a bit and he immediately caved in on himself with a pained grunt. He heard the thud of her boot heels on the dirt floor as she made her quick way over to him.
"You can't -!"
"I'm fine." He interrupted her, his voice terse. He had hoped it had been Tessa who had followed him into the barn. He wanted to apologize for being short with her – wanted to apologize for making her think that they were over when he was quite sure that they were never going to be over. It was just . . . he was still quite taken aback by the news that normally, under better, more normal circumstances, would have brought him so much joy.
He was . . . he was gonna be a daddy again . . . it was everything he had ever wanted, right?
"Hershel said you need to heal!" Carol replied, her voice firm as he stood and moved to one of the racks on the wall to grab the horse's halter and lead rope.
"Yeah, I don' really care 'bout tha' right now . . ." He muttered and really, he didn't. It was the first morning back on his feet since his tumble off the cliff and already he had been shoved by Shane, his woman called a whore to his face and then bitch-slapped with baby news. Right now, the last thing he wanted to do was heal! All he really wanted to do was just to clear-up the Gettysburg currently raging in his head.
"Well I do!" Carol told him as he opened the stall door and moved inside. His touch and his voice were gentle as he crossed the short distance to the horse. Nelly nudged his pant pockets for treats as he slid the halter over her head. "And I'm pretty sure that Tessa cares about you too – Ethan as well!" She shook her head as she moved to better watch him interact with the horse. He interacted with the animal a lot better than he interacted with many humans. Of course, then again, that fit him, didn't it? Humans had dealt him shitty deal after shitty deal. Animals had never done anything to him. "Rick's going out later to follow the trail . . ." Daryl shook his head, halfway not paying her any attention.
"Yeah, well, I ain' gonna sit 'round and do nothin'. I had enough of tha' yesterday and besides - I've got too much on ma mind to do tha'!" He also wanted to add that Rick couldn't track like he could too, but didn't.
He was slipping the horse's ears through the halter when Carol shook her head and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "No, you're gonna go out there and get yourself hurt even worse and cause Tessa even more heartache and stress than she needs!" Daryl ignored her, still mired in his thoughts – like where he currently stood on the whole being a daddy issue - when her quiet voice broke through his reverie again. "We don't know if we're gonna find her, Daryl," She shrugged. "We don't."
Now this made him completely stop and turn around to face her, a look of dumb shock appearing on his face as he broken voice concluded with: "I don't."
His face practically expressionless except for the look of awe and amazement flickering through his eyes, he took a few slow steps towards her. His tone when he answered her was low and dangerous and for the first time since Ed was alive, Carol felt something close to fear for her physical well-being beat away in her heart. If she had been Tessa, or if Tessa had been there, she would have known that would have been possibly the worst thing you could have said to him at that moment - especially when he himself had babies on the brain something fierce. There was a reason why Daryl loved children – why he had a respect for women who would do anything to protect their kids and keep them safe. There was a reason rooted deeply down into his childhood that explained why he had affectionately nick-named Tessa, 'Momma Bear'.
Daryl respected and adored women who were nothing like his own mother had been when he was growing up, and just hearing another woman tell him that she had all but lost hope in finding her own missing child, made a rage flare up in him like nobody's business.
Carol, however, could feel Daryl's anger brewing but wasn't exactly focused on that. She was forcing herself to keep her eyes on his the entire time and not on the muscular chest outlined by his sweat drenched shirt – the muscular chest that was all and irrevocably Tessa's – the chest that she had moaned and arched her back under . . . the muscular chest that belonged to the man that would never be hers.
"What did you just say?"
Carol, knowing she shouldn't say anything more about Sophia, gave a half-hearted shrug, tears shining in her eyes. "I can't lose you, too, Daryl!" She spoke weakly and Daryl gave a scoff of disbelief. He couldn't believe her - he wasn't hers to lose! Tessa and Ethan – he was theirs to lose! What gave her any right to loop herself in with them?
He moved to walk away then, to leave her in the barn alone and go find somewhere else to think and sort out his own thoughts, but he took one glance over his shoulder and that proved to be his undoing. At the sight of the one lone tear that skated down her cheek, he snapped. Teeth gritting in anger, he grasped the saddle and threw it off the saddle rack. It was too much for him, however, for he immediately collapsed in on himself, grunting in pain as his hands flew to hold his stitched side. He almost hit the ground but caught himself before he could. Carol immediately ran over him, her hands meeting his shoulders. He yanked himself out of her grip and kept walking.
"Are you alright?"
"Just leave me be . . . ya stupid bitch!" He snapped at her and when he stalked off and was halfway to wherever he was heading, he realized that Carol had helped him come to a decision regarding Tessa and the baby – a decision that he didn't think he could have come to on his own. Where Carol had already halfway given up on finding her daughter, Daryl realized that Tessa would never have given up on finding Ethan if he was the one missing in Sophia's place. She would have begged Daryl on her hands and knees if need be, to go out day and night in the hopes of finding him. Not once would she have ever entertained the notion of him being dead or gone somewhere no one knew where. He shook his head. He loved Tessa like he loved no other and like there would only be one woman he would ever allow to see him in as much pain as she had seen him in over the years, there was only one woman that he would ever allow to bare his children – a woman who would do more for her children than his mother ever thought of doing for him and Merle.
She was the woman who would be a Momma Bear to his children – a woman who was already a Momma Bear to his child . . . his Tessa.
"Tess, babydoll, I need to talk to ya!"
Tessa looked up from the quiet conversation she had been in with Patricia and Beth on the front steps leading to the farmhouse, only to see Daryl walking towards her, Carol hot on his heels. She and Carol's eyes connected for a moment and the older woman have her a small smile before she was distracted by Daryl stooping down in front of her and kissing her. She sat there, frozen for a minute before moving to kiss him back, her hand moving to slid behind his neck. Beth couldn't help but grin as they slowly broke apart, Daryl nodding as he did so.
"Tess, I know how I reacted earlier was probably not tha best way to have reacted, but I'm here now to promise you tha' I'll -!"
He was interrupted, however, by Andrea and T-Dog marching up to them, confused looks on their faces. "Have any of you seen Hershel or Rick?" T-Dog asked and Glenn got to his feet from where he had been sitting talking with Maggie.
"No why?"
"We were supposed to leave a couple of hours ago," Andrea took over and they in turn, were interrupted by Daryl. At the mention of them leaving in a few hours, he had completely forgotten what he had originally intended to go there and tell Tessa, only to get to his feet and nod instead.
"Yeah, we were. What the Hell?"
"Rick told us he was going out," Carol jumped in and Daryl shot Carol a look as he turned around to face everyone else.
"Dammit, isn' anyone takin' this seriously? We got us a damn trail!" He caught sight of Shane then walking up to them with all the guns slung across his back and he moved to meet him halfway as Tessa fumbled to keep a grip on his hand or his arm – anywhere on his body, in fact!
"Daryl, I don't think -!"
"You with me man?" Shane asked him with a careful look and Daryl nodded as he handed him a gun. "It's time to grow up!" Shane called out and Daryl followed him as he cocked his gun. Tessa's eyes grew wide when she realized that Shane was meaning to do, especially when she tossed a gun to Ethan standing right beside her, a slightly confused look on her son's face.
They were going to open the barn and shoot every walker that came out . . . without Rick!
