Three months passed after Revan left Dantooine for Coruscant. Three months the Knight focused on preparing for the coming day when she would have to defy the Jedi Council. Three months passed when she worked on improving her image with the Jedi on Coruscant.
Three months of Meetra harrassing Revan to go back to Dantooine passed. For three months the Knight simply said, "There's nothing for me there anymore. The one time I reopened the bond... on her end I felt a surge of anger towards me."
For two of her months on Coruscant Revan trained a young Jedi named Tirsan. For two months he learned from the Heroine of Cathar. For two months he asked her why no matter what happened there was always a melancholic glint in his teacher's eye.
For two months she told him that her pain was not his burden to bear. For two months she taught him the art of lightsaber combat as Vrook had taught her. For two months did she attempt to impart upon him the small secrets of close quarters combat that only a master of the blade could teach.
For two months did she disappear into the deepest depths of Coruscant's many parks. For two months did she stare at the sea of lights above Coruscant, knowing that on one of them was Bastila.
Two months did she look at her blades, and contemplate standing up to the Council and calling upon her fellow Jedi to go into the chaos of war with her. For two months did she sneak into bars and drink until she either blacked out or was thrown out by the bouncers.
Two months she fought the urge to return to Dantooine. For two months she visited her parents' empty graves, hoping they might appear once more. Appear, and tell her what she should do.
For one month she would attempt to forget Bastila entirely. Nearly striking Meetra every time the older woman mentioned the Talravinian Padawan. For one month she would snap at anyone who asked her about her training on Dantooine. For one month she considered disappearing as Jolee had before her.
For a month she would gain more and more influence with the Jedi on Coruscant.
Then... one day a Jedi said, "Dantooine really changed you, Revan."
The Knight laughed bitterly, and said, "I never should have gone there."
"Why not? It's changed you for the better."
"If I told you why I shouldn't have gone I'd have to kill you." Revan replied.
He laughed, and said, "Very funny, Revan."
She looked at him, deadly serious, and said, "I'm not joking. If I told you I would have to strike you down where you stand. Severe your head, burn it in a pit of acid so that no memories might be drawn from what remains of your brain."
He looked afraid for a moment then said, "Something happened there that forced you to leave, didn't it?"
"The only thing that forced me away from Dantooine was my own cowardice."
"You've never struck me as a coward. You risked your life when you were allowed to aid the war effort."
"It wasn't fear of my own death that made me run from Dantooine." Revan growled.
"I didn't think anything would frighten someone who charged into a mandalorian camp."
"Death on the battlefield has never frightened me. And it never will."
"Then what scared you away?"
"Something incredibly stupid that shouldn't have scared me. It terrified me so much that I ran as fast as I could. My own student there... I was unnecessarily cruel and harsh in the way I abandoned her training."
"Why not go back? Try to rebuild the bridges you burned?"
"If only it were so simple to atone for the way I left. How do you make someone forgive you when you were their only friend? How do you appologize to someone who before the moment of turning your back on them you risked everything for them? Someone who looked up to you as infallible? Someone who saw you as the only person that would never turn your back on them.
"How do you appologize to a woman who is barely more than a child when her hero leaves her saying that they are now barely acquaintances when mere days before you had been close friends? How do you make someone truly understand how sorry you are that you hurt them when you know for a fact they hate you?
"How do I make her not despise me? How could she trust me again after what happened? How could she not want anything more than to tear me apart with her bare hands? As the old saying goes, the Dark Side has no fury like that of a woman scorned."
"You're using that saying out of its intended context."
"It still applies in this situation, kiddo." Revan replied.
"It kinda sounds to me that you're just afraid to even try."
"No shit, genius." Revan growled.
"Maybe you need to face it."
"I've considered that for nearly three months. Thought about it constantly."
"Then why in the name of the Force haven't you gone?"
"Because I know what will happen if I do." Revan replied, "And if you did too, you'd advise staying as far away from that place as possible."
"What's life without a few risks taken?"
"These aren't risks. They're things that will happen if I go back." Revan growled.
"Nothing is written in stone until it has actually happened."
Revan sighed, and said, "Who was it that put you up to this? Kreia, Meetra, Nomi?"
"None of them."
Revan was quiet for a moment, thinking. Then she asked, "Vandar?"
"Nope."
Revan sighed, then asked, "Who was it?"
"His name was once Guun Han Saresh, and that he was a friend of your parents. That your distraught state of mind prevented them from speaking to you when you visited their grave. Your parents want you to go back, according to him. He said they hate seeing you in this state. I thought he was crazy, but he gave me a lightsabre crystal that made my blade go a crazy shade of blue."
Revan sighed, then muttered, "He still lives. And he spoke with mom and dad. Who am I to argue with a man who was able to make the Order think he died. Or my parents."
After her talk, Revan prepared to return to Dantooine. She told Tirsan what was going to happen, and advised him to seek training from Kreia. She then talked with the Council of her intention to return to Dantooine. That she had left some things unfinished and she needed to see them through.
They sent her away with their blessing, and as she boarded the dropship, Meetra said, "It's about damn time!"
-=0=-
While Revan had been fighting the fact that she needed to return to Dantooine, Bastila had been thinking about the way the Knight had left. It was for three months that she would wonder. Three months she would walk the plains of Dantooine, looking for some answers as to why the Knight had fled.
She would look deep, and find nothing. She would not admit to anyone else that she missed Revan. She would not admit how much the Knight had meant to her. For three months she would deny that Revan's departure was the sole reason for her mood darkening.
She would ponder what to do now that Revan was gone. She was not assigned another teacher for those three months. She would spend time alone, just trying to forget that Revan existed. She would stand alone, on the roof of the Enclave, staring out at the stars.
As she did so, and Revan's final words to her rang through her ears, Bastila's sorrow slowly shifted into anger. And that anger grew into hatred of the older woman who she had grown to love before.
Then one day she felt the bond's presence one more. She could sense Revan in the background. Without thinking Bastila sent all her anger at Revan through the bond, and followed it with the hatred she felt towards Revan for the way the Knight left. After that, she faintly felt sorrow from Revan. And the Knight replied to the raw surge of emotion from the younger woman with two words, "I'm sorry." before blocking the bond once more.
Bastila sighed as she heard them, and felt the bond disappear again. She whispered, "Just come back."
But Revan didn't come back. For two and a half months Bastila heard nothing. For a while she regeretted showing Revan just how much the Knight had hurt her.
She felt sorrow for a time. Sorrow that if Revan never returned, it was her fault. Then it became more anger at the older woman's cowardice. The sapphire haired Jedi had left Bastila, and now part of Bastila wanted nothing to do with her.
As she walked the plains one day, Alek asked, "Have you heard from Revan, since she left?"
"No. She made it very clear that there would never again be contact."
"Revan couldn't stay away from you forever even if you hated her to the point of stabbing her on sight."
Bastila shook her head, and started to walk away. Alek followed, and asked, "Where are you going?"
"Anywhere you aren't." the Padawan replied.
"You know, you've been acting a bit like a bitch since Revan left. Maybe you should have gone with her."
Bastila drew her lightsaber and placed the glowing blade to his throat before he could react. She growled, "If Revan would have let me go with her I would have in an instant! So how about you quit harrassing me about her and go find something more productive to spend your time on?"
He stepped away, looking shocked, and said, "Now you're even acting like she would."
Bastila growled, "I'm nothing like that bloody coward." before walking away from Alek.
He scratched his head, and muttered to himself, "What the hell happened on that ship?"
After that incident, Bastila stayed on her own. Whenever another Jedi came near, she would find a quick escape route. Avoiding any contact with other living beings that she could.
She sought isolation for her own peace of mind. When another Padawan tried to befriend her, fear that what Revan did would happen again she told the young man, "If I was looking for a meaningless waste of breath like friendship there are other more amusing options."
He sighed and replied, "She'll come back for you. She may not realize it yet, but she will. She's drawn to you. Whether it is like a moth to a flame or a bee to a harmless flower is yet to be determined. But, no matter what happens, you two are bound together by the Force. You shall be until the day you die. Fighting it because of fear is meaningless. Your fate is already written."
"Nothing is written in stone until it has already happened."
The young man, barely more than a boy, said, "Your father told you that, before you left for the Order. Just as Revan's father told Guun Han Saresh, through whom your father heard it. Some things are written in stone before they happen. Not by the Force, but by those who are involved in it."
"Revan made it clear that she's never coming back. That she wanted nothing to do with anymore."
"She was afraid of losing you to death. She believed that by turning her back on you whilst you both were young that time would heal the wounds. But when two are linked so strongly as you and Revan the pain of such separation would only heal upon reunion."
"Who are you?" Bastila growled. "And how do you know so much?"
"I am one long dead yet still alive. One who in the eyes of his Masters died whilst hunting dark beasts. One who faked his own end so that his closest friends might be able to find the happiness they deserved. I am what remains of Guun Han Saresh. Before he, I, became a different person for the sake of Duron and Shaela."
"Wasn't Guun Han a Twi'lek? You're clearly human."
He shook his head, and said, "History can't even remember my species because though I was the third member of the triumvirate composed of Duron, Shaela, and myself I chose to avoid the spotlight. My face was rarely seen so that I could more effectively perform the Order's less public operations."
Bastila sighed, and said, "So you want me to forgive Revan for what she did? How she ran away despite my begging her not to?"
"I expect you to do nothing. I know you will, in time."
"Why do you care so much about what I do?"
"For the same reason that I spoke to Revan today." he replied. "The same reason that I faked my own death." before leaving Bastila confused.
-=0=-
Three days later, Revan stepped out of the shuttle that had taken her back to Dantooine. She walked out, and saw Vandar standing in front. A small smile across the ancient Master's face. He said, "Welcome back, Revan. I did not expect you here again so soon."
Revan nodded, and said, "I should have come back sooner, Master. I fear my sudden departure may have caused harm that I did not intend."
The small Jedi closed his eyes, and said, "It did. And I am not sure if it is a wound that you can heal quickly."
"I hope for her sake that it is." Revan replied, "Is she out on the plains?"
"The last that I know, yes." Vandar said, walking away.
Revan took in a deep breath of the clean Dantooine air. The faint scent of grain that permeated the planet filled her nostrils as she stepped forward, and made the first tentative steps towards where Bastila was.
She walked through the familiar stone halls of the enclave. When she reached the round area with a tree, she was greated by Belaya saying, "You're back!"
Revan grimaced and nodded. "For now. I don't know if it will be for long."
"The war?" the young girl asked, her excitement rapidly dimming.
Revan stood in the sun, letting its heat soak through her for a moment, then said, "No. You'll understand when you're older."
Belaya sighed, and said, "Don't get yourself hurt."
"No guarantees that I'm going to be returning unscathed." Revan replied, walking away, Urz following close behind, wagging his tail.
On the plains, she placed a hand on her pet's head, and said, "Go to the cabin, boy." he barked, and ran towards the small village of cabins in the distance.
Revan took a deep breath before removing her wall over the blond for the tiniest fraction of a second to determine where Bastila was. She marched forward, the cold northern wind chilling the warrior to her bones.
She marched on, ignoring it, despite her teeth chattering. Revan almost laughed, winter without snow was something new to her. Coruscant never really got cold, but on Deralia there was almost always a snow storm in the first couple of days of the frigid season.
She walked in silence, her mind calm and empty. She walked past the Matale estate, a defense droid or two turning their metal heads as she walked by.
Through the ancient grove she walked, and felt goosebumps as she walked past. As if something that had happened there had left a mark and was pushing on the consciousness of any who journeyed through.
Then she walked onto the Sandral estate. She walked until she saw Bastila sitting along the edge of a cliff, staring at the large plains, and beyond them dark clouds forming.
Revan walked silently to her, and sat down. "A storm is brewing." the Knight said, "And many will die once it releases its wrath onto the plains."
Bastila glared at the older woman, and said, "Why are you here? I thought you wanted nothing to do with Dantooine anymore."
Revan chuckled, and said, "I'm here because it's where you are." releasing her block on the bond.
"I thought you never wanted to speak to me again. That we were, 'barely acquaintances.'"
Revan sighed, and replied, "I should not have said what I did then. Back there, when I left, I was afraid. Hell I was terrified. But... I shouldn't have run. I chose the coward's path, instead of the right one. I never should have left, especially the way that I did.
"Fear clouded my mind, and I acted in fear.." Revan said, trying to convey how sorry she was through her words and the bond. However on the bond's side of things she felt a wall put up by Bastila. One full of cracks, but a wall nonetheless.
Bastila stared out at the plains, pretending to not listen to Revan. The Knight continued anyways, "I can't even begin to understand the kind of pain I put you through. I know that just an apology wouldn't make it up to you.
"I ran away, and you begged me not to. I left, and you wanted me to stay. I didn't leave the way you'd thought I would. I left, not to go to war, but to get away from you.
"I ran away because of a few nightmares. Dreams of what might come to pass. They terrified me. Scared every last cell in my body. And I let that terror control me. It made me just think about what if they were true.
"And the thought of anything in those happening scared me more than anything else in my entire life. I was scared of losing you to something outside my control. Of living in a galaxy that didn't have you in it."
"Then why leave?" Bastila growled, almost ready to slap the Knight.
"I thought, if it was by my own choice that we were separated, both of us would recover. But, that if it were by one bondmate dying the survivor wouldn't be able to."
Bastila laughed at that, and said, "I suppose you're right. I did recover from you leaving. Now I feel how you did when you left."
"No you don't." Revan replied. "You're angry at me. You despise me right now. But you know what? It tore me apart to leave. I practically turned back when I saw how I was hurting you by leaving. I didn't block the bond out of hatred of you, Bastila. I blocked it because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have had the strength to go.
"The reason I didn't look at you as I left was because I knew what would happen if I'd seen the pain in your eyes. I knew that I couldn't actually see how I was hurting you or I wouldn't be able to follow through.
"I care for you a lot, Bastila. I still see you as one of my closest friends. I have never wanted anything other than for you to be happy and safe. In my fear I felt that it was necessary for your safety and happiness that we part ways.
"I felt that if I died on the field and you felt it through the bond you might be broken by its severing. And I worried about what I might do if I felt you die through the bond. I feared how many I would tear limb from limb with my bare hands until I found the one responsible for hurting you.
"What I did to that sonofabitch who shot you would have been nothing compared to the thousand years of torment your killer would endure. And if I learned it was because of me... whatever planet I was on would be made devoid of all life as I reduced myself to nothingness. Used more of the Force than I could handle and turn it against myself.
"I am sorry I left, Bastila. There hasn't been a single night that I've slept well in a bed since I left. Just to get some sleep I had to down enough alcohol to black out for a few short hours of rest. I know I hurt you by leaving. But I also hurt myself."
Bastila glared at Revan, and said, "Maybe you should have thought about it a little more before deciding to leave." the Padawan then rose, and started to walk away when Revan said,
"I should have. I should've listened to you. I can't undo what I did. All I can do is ask that you give me a second chance."
Bastila laughed bitterly, and said, "I gave you a chance before, Revan. You turned tail and ran because of a few dreams. Why should I give a coward such as you a second chance?"
Revan took a deep breath, and said, "Because one day you'll have to."
"No I won't." Bastila replied, walking away.
Revan sighed, and whispered to herself, "Yes you will. Otherwise... a lot of people will die."
-=0=-
Two days later, Bastila walked out of the Enclave, and saw Revan leaning on a speeder. The Knight smiled at the younger woman, and received a glare in return. Revan laughed, and said, "You know, Ms. Shan, you're starting to make me think you don't love me anymore."
"I never loved you!" Bastila snapped, starting to grip her lightsaber.
Revan grinned, and said, "The only time I've ever seen a woman like you act this way is when they've got a broken heart."
"Couldn't you go pester someone who would actually find your antics amusing?" Bastila growled, struggling to keep herself from smiling at the way Revan was trying to reinsert herself into the Padawan's life.
"I dunno, you seem to be having a trouble not smiling. I'm thinking you're finding them at least a little cute."
Bastila glared at the Knight, who simply said, "See anything you like?"
"No. I just see an arrogant coward who doesn't understand the meaning of the words go away."
"Yeah... soldiers sometimes forget who's friend and who's foe. When a foe says that we don't actually listen."
That time Bastila couldn't stop herself from smiling slightly. She quickly realized it, and buried it. But Revan said, "I knew you could still smile. If only I could do stuff that would have you doing that more often."
"I did not smile." Bastila said, pretending it hadn't just happened.
"It happened like four seconds ago. You can't honestly have that bad of a memory. I mean you did forget about all those times I saved your life or all the people I killed because they might have hurt you. But still, I thought you could remember stuff for at least a few seconds."
Bastila glared, and said, "Being a smartass is unbefitting of a Jedi."
Revan grinned, and asked, "Always talking about my ass. I know you love it, but you don't have to keep going on and on about it."
Bastila sighed, and said, "If I stab you will it be enough for you to get the point that I don't want anything to do with you?"
Revan smirked, and said, "Depends on whether or not the way you stab me feels good."
"Now you're acting like Meetra."
"Geez, a Jedi can't make a dirty joke or two without being compared to Meetra."
"You were always more serious."
Revan sighed, and said, "Fine. I was hoping that by focusing more on the jokes and teasing that I occassionally did it would help you calm down."
"What would help me calm down, Revan, would be if you stabbed yourself."
"Alright." The Knight said pulling a knife from her boot and ramming the blade into her abdomen. She winced for a second before removing the blade from her chest and asking, "Will you please stop glaring at me every time you see me now?"
Bastila's eyes bulged, and the Padawan said, "I didn't think you'd actually do that... I thought you had some part of your brain that worked properly."
Revan healed the wound, and said, "I knew it wouldn't cause permanent harm. You want the stab wound to scar or not?"
"Did you really just ask that?"
"What, some women find scars attractive. Admittedly most of them are mandalorian, but still."
Bastila glared, and said, "I didn't think you'd actually do it. No, I do not want you to leave permanent evidence of the fact that I got you to stab yourself."
Revan nodded, and said, "Alright." as Bastila walked away. As the Padawan did that, a man walked up, and reached to grab the Padawan. Before he could even reach her though, he was floating up into the air, and Revan's blades were at his throat.
The Knight growled, "What are you doing?"
"Following orders."
"From who?"
"Some crazy mandalorian bitch. I was supposed to snag Shan, send her to a dropoff point and then get paid millions."
Revan sighed, and said, "Great..." before throwing him down. "Well tell your employer that if she does anything like this again, I will force her to eat her own eyes."
"Alright! Just don't hurt me!"
"I won't. This time. Try this again, I will."
He nodded, and ran away as Revan let him go. Bastila sighed, and said, "I suppose there's nothing wrong with you watching my back."
Revan sighed, and said, "At least you're okay with that."
"Though if it weren't for you I probably wouldn't need someone to watch my back."
"Yeah, probably." Revan agreed. "But it is what it is."
Bastila continued to walk by, when Revan said, "I am not going to be able to get rid of you, am I?"
"Consider me your slightly irritating guardian angel who isn't so good at that whole not being noticed thing."
"You never have been good at anything other than making a massive mess out of relatively simple situations."
"If how things are now is relatively simple I don't want to know what it's like when things are actually complicated."
Alek walked up and said, "Revan, been a while. What made you leave so suddenly?"
"If I told you it'd kill ya." The Knight replied.
"Care to elaborate?"
"It's a long story that would break your mind and lose your faith in me."
"You say that like I had some faith in you before."
"Don't be an ass, that's Meetra's job."
"Or yours." Bastila muttered.
"Geez, Bas, talk up when you're speaking poorly of me." Revan said.
Alek shook his head, and said, "So you two are back to this already? Though judging from Bastila she's still a bit upset about you going away."
"That would be correct, Baldy. Now go and do whatever it is you do when not trying to get into someone's pants."
"You say while trying to get into Bastila's pants."
"Nah. That's way out of the question now. Best I could hope for is getting back into her list of people to not kill if she has to kill all but three of the people she's ever come across."
"Why, right now on top of her list to kill?"
"By a considerable margin, judging from how she's acting."
"I'm still here..." Bastila said.
"Oh, you've been so angry with me that I'm surprised the Council hasn't said something about it. Something about your being justifiably pissed leading to the dark side. Something stupid like that."
"At least you have the sense to realize that you deserve to be on my bad side." Bastila growled, walking away.
Revan turned to follow, saying, "I do. I'm trying to work my way onto your good side again. I'm willing to do whatever it takes in order to do that. I'd blow Marthan himself if that was what it took."
Bastila laughed openly that time, and said, "No you wouldn't. Even if you could find him."
Revan grinned, and said, "I think you underestimate me, Bas. I'm serious that there is nothing I wouldn't do if it meant you wouldn't hate me anymore. Assuming it's actually in any way possible."
Bastila sighed, as snow began to fall. Revan looked up, and said, "So it begins."
"What?"
"This is the vision that stayed my feet when I considered returning after two weeks away." Revan said, walking forward. "It was not of actual events though. It was words on a page. Words of an ancient prophecy, and a faint view of the damage it would leave on the world.
"This storm is not natural, Bastila. It can no longer be prevented but its effects can be lessened."
"Just how would that be done?"
"Follow me." Revan said, marching forward. "This storm was produced by the Tear."
"What tear?"
"The Tear. A point where the fabric of the Force is torn asunder. Itp creates all kinds of unpredictable phenomena. None of which end well for those caught in its way."
"How do you know of this?"
"I was trained by Kreia. Her areas of expertise are tears in the Force and foretelling the future. She passed on as much of her knowledge of both subjects to me as was possible. This is one reason that I was hoping you would forgive me more quickly."
"I don't get it. Why would that make a difference."
"Simple, the hostility between us is agitating the scar in the Force. We're bound by the Force, and in its fragile state such divisiveness is like salt in an open wound. This storm is the Force's way of purging the salt, us, from its wound."
"And part of the reason was you wanted to prevent this storm. Do you have a plan for dealing with it now that it's broken?"
Revan laughed, and said, "World-ending troubles do seem to bring us together, Beautiful. And yes, I do have a plan. We're going to have to go to the location of the Tear and essentially sew the fabric of the Force together again.
"Once that's done, we'll have a regular storm, not a cataclysmic one."
Bastila sighed and said, "Lead the way, I guess. I'm still skeptical about you being back though."
"Hey, I thought that this would happen if I came back. I really considered not coming back because of it. But in the end I realized I care more about you than people who'd die from insane planet destroying events caused by the damage done to the Force."
"I still don't see how the way we parted tore the Force."
"I'll explain that in a moment." Revan said walking up to a speeder. "But first I'm going to need to hotwire this. Give me three minutes, I'm a bit rusty."
-=0=-
A/N: So it begins. A story arc to last until the moment they (finally) get together. An arc that will span a great number of chapters(at least two.) and will end with what those who are professionals in the industry call, "some cool shit."
I know this is a bit of a rapid release compared to the much longer wait times between chapters I usually have, but I couldn't get this out of my head. Even though I see the bigger picture and knew where things were going, I had to see how things started on the path back to being fixed. I needed to put down where Revan and Bastila start working things out.
As always, thank you very much for reading and please leave a review letting me know what you think of the chapter.
