Chapter 1 : Starting over

During the school day I was still angry. Only this time I was angry at my so called friends. They were my friends while I was the new "shiny toy" as Jessica so sweetly put it. Couldn't they see I was upset and lonely? Couldn't they see that maybe I needed them?

The day was progressing fast and I still had no courage or spirit really to go and talk to Jessica for the girls night out. I was seriously thinking how I could avoid it. If I lied and said I went without actually going? But where would I go for about 3 hours without anyone seeing me? And letting Jessica know I lied to my dad so she could cover for me? Nuh I don't think so. If I said that Jess has plans so I'll go alone? That would kind of defeat the purpose. I am supposed to be with my friends. Well, I could say Jessica stood me up. Oh, what am I talking about? I'm an awful liar, Charlie especially would see right through me. I guess I had to bite the bullet and do it.

I am pretty sure my scowl was visible because suddenly a note landed on my desk.

"Are you ok?". I looked around me and saw Angela watching me with a small gentle if a bit uncertain smile on her face. I remembered how I liked Angela when I first met her. She was shy like me and simply a nice girl that I had wanted to be my friend.

Of course that was before I got involved with Edward and Alice took all my free time. Huh, in my anger it was easier to say his name. Good to know. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and looked at Angela again. She was still waiting for an answer so I wrote back "I will be". I tried to smile as I handed the note back but I'm not so sure I did a good job. I wanted to cry when she responded with an "I'm here if you need a shoulder or a hug" and another small smile before shifting her attention to class.

When school ended I left quickly for work. For some reason even in the middle of winter the store was pretty busy. During my afternoon I noticed that Mike kept giving me quick glances out of the corner of his eye. Was this going on all this time and I was just noticing this now or was it new? I tried to give a polite smile and judging by Mike's growing one it was pretty successful.

When I returned home I found a note from Charlie that he had to work late so I made myself dinner and when I was going through my nightly routine my anger slowly dissipated. Like every other night I cried myself to sleep...