Chapter 5: Fun at the beach

I woke up the next day feeling strangely well rested. After so many months of almost no sleep and terrible dark under eye circles it was strange to wake up and feel ready to start the day. I decide to drowse a bit in bed for a bit. It was almost 40 mins later that I finally got out of bed, took a nice warm long shower and decided to let my hair dry naturally only pining a couple strands away from my eyes.

Charlie was still at the kitchen table starting on his coffee, he had obviously slept in as well. Since it was still early I decided to throw together a quick omelette with yellow and white cheese. It was ready by the time coffee had finished brewing so Ch-dad and I sat down to eat. He seemed happy with the change in food so I decided I would throw a serious breakfast every weekend. I smiled at that thought and saw dad smiling back.

After breakfast I packed up a couple more omelettes for him to take to his fishing trip and started on my day. The kitchen looked as if a tornado had passed though so I started there first. I scrubbed down the counters, the stove, cleaned the oven, tidied up the living room, and did load after load of laundry. I took a quick coffee break and then headed upstairs to the bedrooms. The bathroom was in even worse condition than the kichen - if that's even possible! After a good scrubbing down I attacked the bedrooms. Mine was at a slightly better condition than dads. It simply looked as if it wasn't being used and that disturbed me. Dad's was a mess and I simply changed the sheets. His room - he's gonna have to clean it!

I was exhausted and decided that a nice soak in the tub would suffice to help regain some strength. Of course it didn't. I fell straight asleep and woke only when the water got icy. I refused to let myself like it and literally jumped out.

I got busy with the homework I had to do and after a nice mushroom pizza dinner with a TV comedy I went to bed.

I woke up pretty late the next morning, and let myself be happy over the fact that I slept yet again the whole night. Even Charl - dad at breakfast seemed well rested. He was looking at me at me a bit suspiciously; I guess he was waiting for me to become the same zombie I was. Never again, I promised myself. While I was cleaning up the kitchen the phone rang. I wasn't expecting anyone so I was surprised when dad called for me saying Mike was on the phone. I got it and noticing he had a half smile while eavesdropping I took the phone to the kitchen with me.

"Hey Mike"

"Hey, Bella good morning"

"Good morning, what's up?"

"Nothing much, I was just wondering if you wanted to ride with me to the beach or maybe not"

Okay, I did NOT that one coming

"Why not, you can pick me up if you want"

"Really?" he sounded surprised and pleased at once. Oh oh that's not good

"Um, yes"

"Great, I'm picking Ben and Angela so I'll be at your place around ok?"

I would swear that Ben has a car.

"Sure. Should I bring something?"

"Well, it's not necessary but if you want to"

"Sure. I'll make something" there was a long silence and I was starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Mike?"

"Yeah"

"Ok then, I'll see you at 2, bye"

I hung up without waiting for an answer. I told dad about Mike coming to pick me up after picking the others up, but before he had a chance to voice his way too happy opinion I said I should bring something and starting looking through the kitchen cabinets. Luckily I had bought more than enough food and decided to throw a quick pasta salad together. I put it in a big salad bowl - big enough to feed about 10 people asking myself 'why would Charlie even have something this big?'

Seeing as I had a bit more than 2 hours left I decided to get dressed and read a bit. My closet was on the empty side since I had cleared it a few days prior so the box of clothes I had brought from Phoenix on spring when I had dashed there in my haste to get away from James was visible. Inside were clothes too light for this weather but clothes I longed to wear again.

'Oh well, I can layer' I thought and pulled out a long pink tank top that reached my upper thighs. I wore it with a pair of my old favourite distressed boot cut blue jeans, a black long sleeved off the shoulder black blouse. I also found the flower pendant I used to wear before moving here. I had forgotten to put it on the day I came here because the chain had broken. Laughing I found a black leather jacket Renee had gotten for herself then regretted and passed on to me. With a brave breath I put on the dark red cowboy boots and took the purse out. I added the sunglasses and looked myself in the mirror. I looked like myself. I realized I was smiling softly. 'I'm ME'. Not Edward's Bella, the weak little thing, or Alice's Barbie Bella, the life size doll she liked to play with, but Bella. The real one.

I went downstairs changing my mind about the book and wanting to spend some time with Charlie.

"How do I look?"

He was looking at me dumbstuck.

"Like a new person"

We smiled to each other and then he went to get dressed and go to see the game with Billy.

I laid on the couch to lounge for a bit. Charlie left saying goodbye and acting as if I were a little girl about to be left alone for the first time. I shook my head still smiling at a few mins later the doorbell rang. It was Mike. Alone.

"Hey Mike" I greeted cautiously

"Hey, hey Bella" he stammered while looking at me. "Ready to go?"

"Yes, where are the others?" I couldn't help but ask

"oh yes, the others. They decided to come a bit later with Ben's car." Ha, yeah right. Oh well, Mike was willingly to gloss over my depression months, so I wasn't going to be all brush and rude.

"Ok then, shall we?"

The drive to First Beach was uneventful. Mike and I mainly talked about homework which he apparently worked last night as well. I was surprised to hear that. I would have imagined a popular guy like him would have been out on a Saturday night, but then I knew he wasn't dating anyone, and knowing that we were all going to be busy today maybe a lot of people stayed home to finish their homework last night. In any case, I was glad not to feel like the only nerd of our group, if the subject ever came up.

When we got to First Beach Mike called Tyler and Eric over and the three of them got some rather large coolers and a grill out of the suburban. Mike reached to the back and got out a few blankets and tarps. I grabbed those as well as the large salad bowl I brought and we all walked to the beach with our gear.

A lot of kids from our school were there and I decided to say hi since I was accompanied by the social butterfly named Mike. I was happy to see that quite a few kids wove at me without looking me as if I had three heads.

The boys set up the coolers and grill in an area where others had already set up a make-shift mess hall tent. This was Forks, after all, and we had to be prepared for the weather. I spread out blankets on the sand near the temporary fire pit built out of loose rocks. I guessed that even with the fire we would need those after dark, when the temperature dropped. As I was working I saw Mike jog back to his car and wheel back a pretty impressive looking music system. I walked over to him just as he was setting it up and plugging in his IPod.

"What is this thing?" I asked.

"It's a party machine on wheels," he said, laughing. "It's an outdoor iPod docking station and a karaoke machine, just in case anyone wants to get really crazy later tonight. Do you sing?"

I scrunched my face in a frown

"Only if there are a lot deaf people around me and no glass. Do you?"

He looked down, adjusting something on the machine.

"Sometimes," he muttered.

Just at that moment Angela and Mike arrived and on impulse I gave Angela a hug. She looked surprised but not upset so I figured it was alright.

Ben joined Mike near the grill starting to prepare the food and I led Angela to the blanket I had declared mine to set her things. She had made a potato dish covered in foil and we took that to Mike. We decided to join him in prepping the food and we were laughing over the fire. I was feeling extremely hot and started to sweat. I paid no mind and removed my jacket and the long sleeved blouse remaining in my sleeveless tank top. Angela was looking at me strangely but after a moment she removed her jacket as well. It was pretty warm for January after all.

After a while the food was devoured and the karaoke was loud. Alot of the people were dancing and singing along. Just as the sun was going doing down a group of kids decided to go hiking and another would stroll a bit on the beach to keep an eye on the stuff we all had. Angela and Ben stayed back while I decided to join Mike. After all I love the natural tide pools.

As we entered the forest flashbacks hit me. My first hike with Mike almost a year ago, the greenness of the forest was a harsh reminder of Edward slinging me on his back while running to my truck after our date at the meadow, his slightly ironic comments on the palms of my hands from my many falls. My breath caught in my chest and I could feel my pulse running, stars were clouding my vision as one by one the memories hit me. I felt something holding me letting me ride through the memories until I could breathe again. I hung myself in that embrace. I have no idea how long had passed when my head stopped banging and heartbeat slowed. i looked up to see who was holding me upright and I saw Mike. He looking me with a reserved expression and slowly slid us to sit at the ground still holding me.

"I'm sorry Mike, I.. I don't"

I stammered embarrassed

"It's okay Bella. You needed this."

"Thank you, thank you so much."

"He really hurt you, didn't he?"

"yeah, yeah he did. Should we see the pools now?

"of we go"

I found the feeling comforting so I kept my arm around his waist while he didn't remove his arm from around my shoulders. I had to watch each step I took very carefully, avoiding roots below and branches above, and I soon fell behind. Eventually we broke through the emerald confines of the forest and found the rocky shore again. It was low tide, and a tidal river flowed past us on its way to the sea. Along its pebbled banks, shallow pools that never completely drained were teeming with life. Unlike last year when I was very cautious not to lean too far over the little ocean ponds, this time I felt fearless and moved closer to the edge and sat there cautiously, spellbound by the natural aquarium below me.

The bouquets of brilliant anemones undulated ceaselessly in the invisible current, twisted shells scurried about the edges, obscuring the crabs within them, starfish stuck motionless to the rocks and each other, while one small black eel with white racing stripes wove through the bright green weeds, waiting for the sea to return.

I was completely absorbed and leaned against Mike, who seemed as thoughtful as me, to allow the calm scenery to calm me.

Finally we heard music and laughter and people singing so we stiffly got up and smiled awkwardly to each other before heading back. As we neared the others I realised that beside my breakdown I had not fallen down or lost my balance at all.

Now that the whole group was re-assembled everyone quickly gathered the wood for the bonfire and lit it up. Mike headed off to the entertainment system.

"Karaoke, anyone?"

He yelled. Several guys groaned while the girls squealed in delight and ran up to Mike with their requests. The night exploded with sounds of Karaoke standards of all the all time classic party songs and pop versions. I couldn't help my snickering for Lauren's performance of 'I Kissed a Girl'. Jessica and Angela came over to us and pulled me off the blanket, giggling.

"Come on, Bella. We've got the perfect song for us to sing."

I groaned, but followed them obediently, throwing a terrified look over my shoulder at Mike, who was grinning wide. I groaned even louder when I heard the opening piano music, but went along anyway, singing

At first I was afraid, I was petrified

Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side

But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong

And I grew strong, and I learned how to get along

The song was such a classic anthem that despite our incredibly poor performance everyone was getting into it. From the corner of my eye I saw Mike smiling again, clapping in time with the music as we belted out the lyrics. The whole beach exploded into raucous applause when we were finished. The three of us bowed, then ran to the coolers to get some water to soothe our throats, hoarse from nearly screaming out the chorus.

I took my water back to the blanket and settle myself down again near Mike.

Jessica approached me with a bag or marshmallows and said sorry for her behaviour. I was a bit shocked at that but also knew how much Jessica loved a drama and attention. I decided it didn't matter but I would keep my distance this time.

"Didn't know you had it in ya," Mike teased.

"Neither did I," I laughed. "It felt good, though." And it had. I realized that with that song I finally let Edward go completely. I did survive, and it felt damn good!

"My turn" Mike announced and picked up the microphone and was singing. I strained to hear the lyrics.

Everyone knows it's meant to be

Falling in love, just you and me

'til the end of time

'til I'm on her mind

It'll happen

I've been making lots of plans

Like a picket fence and a rose garden

I just keep on dreaming

But it's cool cause we're just friends

"Oh shit,"

I muttered as I recognized the song. My face was burning. I didn't think there was anyone on the beach who couldn't figure out why Mike had chosen this particular song to sing or whom he was singing it to. I turned to look at Angela who wore an expression similar to mine.

"I need to talk to him" I exclaimed. "Maybe the song I sang gave him the wrong impression."

Angela nodded

"That sounds like a good idea. Maybe on the way back though?"

She was right. I forced myself not to say anything to Mike until we were in the car heading to my house. There was no music this time and I turned to look at Mike.

"Mike?"

"Yes?"

"About before. What did you mean exactly with that song?"

"Well, you know I like you and it's not secret I want us to be more than friends"

That's worse than I thought!

"Mike, I know I'm better and attentive, but I'm not ready for a relationship right now. Plus while I know you like me and I like you too, I don't think you're in love with me. Wouldn't it be better if we remained friends?"

"I really like you and I have no problems with waiting till you're ready. In the meantime do you promise me we'll be friends?"

"Definitely. We're be friends no matter what Mike, that's a given."

After that the discussion moved to lighter topics and the mood lifted. Mike dropped me off at home and waited while I got in. That night I sat to watch TV with Char-DAD I corrected myself and leaned on his arm. After a long nice talk to Rene-MOM on the phone I wrote about my day on my new diary and slept soundly.