A/N: Hello again! Don't expect updates to be THIS frequent. I just had a day of work where I couldn't force myself to do anything productive. So I did this instead!

Woo!

Also thanks to Jaune Black Smudge for pointing out my error on Qrow's eyes.

This'll probably be the general length of most chapters as well. The bad news is that it's semi short. The good news is that means more updates! Probably.


It turns out that Qrow did not have a spare set of pants. And Jaune refused to be running around in nothing but bandages. He just felt so… exposed… Which is why Qrow had been made to just stand around as Jaune looked for a pair of pants that hadn't been soiled by its previous occupant.

"Look, we need to move kid! We needed to move fifteen minutes ago!" Qrow growled at Jaune as he became increasingly jittery.

"And you're not the one running around in nothing but bandages! Besides what's the ru-"

*HOOOOOOOONK* *HOOOOOOOOOOONK* "SUBJECT AJIN HAS ESCAPED. ALL AVAILABLE UNITS REPORT TO THE LAB" *HOOOOOOOOOOONK*

Qrow didn't have the words to adequately describe his frustration. Instead he simply raised his hands into the air and gestured angrily at the flashing lights and wailing sirens. Jaune got the message. That was the rush.

Jaune frowned and let out a sigh. He had been so close to finding a pair of pants too.

"Ugh fine. Let's just get out of here." Jaune said as he picked up his pistol.

" 'Ugh fine'? What are you, a teenage girl? And do you even know how to use that?" Qrow said as he gestured at the pistol while turning to run away from the sound of approaching footsteps.

Jaune in fact did not know much about shooting a gun. He doubted he'd be able to hit anything aside from himself. That had never stopped Jaune before though.

"Point and click right?" Jaune said with a shrug as he struggled to keep pace with Qrow.

Qrow just sighed as he fought against the urge to run faster despite Jaune's struggles. Jaune was so slow! He knew the kid had just relearned to walk a short while ago but they were being chased by an entire secret base worth of soldiers.

As if summoned by his thoughts, Qrow and Jaune rounded a corner only to come face to face with two equally surprised guards.

Qrow lashed out before the two of them could even raise their weapons. His sword slammed into the mid section of one guard as his leg shot out and kicked the other into the wall. The guard's back slammed into the wall, leaving a dent in the metal wall.

Qrow focused his attention on the unfortunate soul that had taken a gutful of his sword. It looked like the man's armor and aura had managed to stop the blade, but not with taking the wind out of him.

Capitalizing on his folded position, Qrow grabbed the now defenseless man by the back of his head with his free hand. Qrow drove his fist downwards, slamming the poor goon face first into the ground.

*BANG*

Qrow started as he heard the bang of a gun, wondering for a brief moment if another guard had somehow managed to get the drop on him. Looking behind him however, he saw the smoking gun in Jaune's hand pointed at the now very dead guard that had been kicked into the wall.

Jaune for his part looked very nonplussed despite having just ending someone's life. Noticing Qrow staring at him, Jaune waved his gun in greeting at Qrow.

Qrow frowned, but he still turned to continue running. He was beginning to think that helping Jaune might have been a mistake. The boy had just killed someone in cold blood and hadn't so much as blinked. He was still just a kid! Albeit a kid who had taken a gunshot to the head and walked out of it asking about pants but still just a kid.

Qrow squashed his feelings of doubt. That was the whole reason he was in this mess after all. A dangerous immortal in the hands of a sketchy government lab? Qrow certainly didn't like that idea and he knew that Ozpin wouldn't either.

"GAH!"

An apparently dangerous immortal who was impossibly clumsy, Qrow amended as he heard Jaune trip and fall over nothing before picking himself back up and sprinting to catch up to Qrow.


Qrow was strong. Ridiculously strong. Jaune hadn't even seen him move while he was taking care of the guards, only catching tail end of each blow that Qrow threw.

Qrow kept on looking at him funny though and whatever reason, the constant glances were making Jaune feel a little nervous. Jaune didn't know anything about Qrow, nor his motivations. He didn't know why Qrow was here, or why he was rescuing him. All he knew that Qrow was helping him out.

Watching one of the guards sail into the wall, Jaune pointed his gun at the guard and did his best to aim. He needed to help somehow right?

Jaune fired off the shot and watched as the guard's brain matter and blood coated the back wall. Jaune was mildly pleased that finally someone else was getting shot in the head.

He was also slightly displeased however, as he had been aiming at the guy's leg. Maybe it wasn't as simple as pointing and shooting…

His pleased expression turned into a frown as he noticed that Qrow was staring at him again.

Unsure how to react, Jaune awkwardly waved his gun in greeting at Qrow as he did his best to put up what he thought was a confident grin. Seeming to take the hint, Qrow turned and continued down the hallway.

It was back to running, and Jaune's legs quickly began to burn again. Jaune didn't mind the burning sensation. He actually quite liked it. It was nice to feel something else aside from the cold and the steel of the lab.

"GAH!"

Jaune amended that thought as he somehow tripped on his own feet. Running sucked and he'd be glad when he could stop. Picking himself back up, Jaune noted that Qrow hadn't even bothered to stop!

Doing his best to catch up, Jaune noted that they were finally coming upon a room instead of just more hallways. 'Finally! An end to the running!'

As Jaune came into the room, he quickly wished they were still running. They had arrived in a loading bay of some sort, and standing in front of Jaune was the BIGGEST robot that he had ever seen.

The thing was a dull grey, standing on two mammoth sized legs, with veritable stockpile of weaponry on its two arms.

Glancing down at his now measly-looking pistol, Jaune was beginning to wish he had managed to find some brown pants.

"REPORT BACK TO YOUR CELL SUBJECT AJIN," blared a loudspeaker somewhere on the robot's body.

His what?

"You never gave me a cell! All I got was some stupid table!" Jaune yelled back, indignation present in his voice and on his face. He could see Qrow looking over at him like Jaune had gone insane. Then again maybe he had?

"I WILL NOT REPEAT MYSELF AGAIN AJIN. REPORT BACK TO YOUR CELL."

"And I won't repeat myself again. You. never. gave. me. a. cell!"

Jaune stomped his foot on each word for emphasis. Granted he wouldn't have gone back to his cell even if he did have one. But it was the principle of the thing!

All of the sudden Jaune's world was on fire, a bright flash consuming everything in his field of view. It ended with Jaune on his butt, trying to blink away the spots in his eyes.

"Well that was rude. Gah! My leg!" Jaune let out a little yelp as he looked down. instead of seeing two skinny but healthy legs, he saw one lightly seared leg and Righty had been turned into a bleeding stump.

Jaune looked dumbly at his newly made stump, arterial spray spurting blood onto the ground in front of him in a macabre display.

He looked at the robot, his eyes narrowing in anger. No one messed with Righty like that!

"You. dick." Jaune bit out each word as he glared at the newly named Dick Robot. He might not have been able to physically harm the robot, but at least he could call it mean names and maybe try and hurt its feelings.

Jaune gulped as he noticed that all of the sudden he was looking down the barrel of several large guns.

Jaune half rolled and half crawled behind some conveniently placed crates, as Mr. Dick-bot-o once more fired upon his position, this time unleashing a full barrage of what looked like glowing plasma upon his position.

"Qrow! A little bit of help here?!" Jaune yelled out as he looked to where he last saw Qrow. There was no sign of Qrow however, and the giant metal phallus that was the robot who shot off his leg turned its full ire upon Jaune's cover.

"That bastard left me here! Dicks! Everyone here is a dick! The dicks with knives! The dicks with giant swords! The dicks with giant robots! All DICKS"

All of a sudden, from behind Jaune's cover he heard the sound of shearing metal, and the barrage upon his poor crate abruptly stopped. Deciding to take advantage of the brief lull, Jaune raised his pistol to his head and pulled the trigger.

One quick death later and Jaune was staring at five brand new toes wiggling in the air. Noticing that things still weren't exploding Jaune peeked around the corner of his shelter.

Qrow stood, there, leaning on a giant scythe of all things, with a smug grin on his face. Jaune had no idea where Qrow had pulled the scythe from, and honestly he was a bit too afraid to ask. The robot had been torn into a pile of scrap metal and was lying in a heap behind Qrow.

"So… Who's a dick?" Qrow said as Jaune approached, keeping a wary eye on the scythe.

"Oh. aheheh…. You heard that did you?" Jaune said sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head.

"Yep", Qrow said with a pop of his lips, as he hefted his scythe and with sudden jerky movements it folded back in upon itself. Soon Jaune was left facing a familiar sword.

"Sorry about that… So… your sword turns into a scythe huh?"

"Yep."

"Oh cool…" Jaune said as his voice trailed off.

"So your leg grew back huh?" Qrow asked as he looked at Jaune's leg which had somehow replaced itself.

Qrow hadn't paid Jaune too much attention once the action had started, but he had definitely seen a bloody stump. In fact Qrow could still some of Jaune's blood on the floor.

"Yep."

"Oh… Cool." Qrow also found his voice trailing off. This kid was more awkward than Ruby!

"So…" Qrow nodded his head towards a door at the back of the loading area. "You want to get out of here?"

"Yep" Jaune said as he made his way to the door, Qrow following behind.

"Oh that's right! Quick question Qrow." Jaune said, as they drew nearer to the door.

"Shoot kid."

"I can't remember, but I'm the only one who does the whole not-dying thing right?"

Qrow didn't even blink, keeping his gaze towards the door.

"Yep."

"Oh… so that guy I shot earlier. He's really…"

"Yep."

"And he's not-"

"Yep."

"So I actually k-"

"Yep."

"Oh…"

They had finally reached the door and Jaune's hand rested on the handle. A pensive look on his face.

"Does that make me a murderer?" Jaune asked as he looked back at Qrow.

Qrow couldn't help but show the boy a soft smile.

"Meh, probably not. We'll say self defense."

"So I'm not going to end up in jail?"

"Not today at least."

Jaune shrugged. " I can live with that," he said as he finally pushed open the door and stepped out towards freedom.


Moral conundrums regarding the the mortality of man aside, Jaune was beginning to regret not having found a pair of pants before he and Qrow left the base.

In Jaune's defense, he had no idea that the place he had been held so long was stuck in the middle of the frozen tundra. It also didn't help that it was currently the middle of the night. From the looks of the pitying glances that Qrow kept on throwing his way, it looked like Qrow had also momentarily forgotten.

At least Jaune had managed to wheedle Qrow out of one of his socks. Not only had Dick-timus Prime shot off his leg, but he had also shot off the bandages covering his leg. That meant when he had grown his leg back, there were no bandages to cover it.

With his foot at least covered, Jaune was having a slightly better time of it. Only slightly however.

Despite the addition of a new sock, Jaune's traveling speed wasn't quite up to Qrow's standards.

Qrow had finally become sick of the pace that Jaune was moving, and had thrown him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Jaune had no choice but to swallow his pride at being carried, and glad that the only person that saw the two was the occasional owl.

Once Jaune had gotten over the initial blow to his pride however, he found himself alone with his thoughts. Jaune had managed to keep himself from going crazy in the lab with a steady inner monologue of snide jokes, wordplay, and the occasional pun.

Now that he was free though he found himself at a loss for words.

The full moon rising high in the sky along with twinkling stars that surrounded it, the mountains rising in the distance, the lush green forests surrounding him and Qrow, and the brisk night air that Jaune could finally feel on his face after so long.

The thing that hit his senses the most though was the smell. The smell of nature instead of disinfectant had been such a shock to his systems that Jaune almost cried.

Jaune hadn't thought about being outside in so long that he had briefly forgotten what it was like. And now that he was finally free and outside...

"Wow…" Jaune said, a small bit of awe in his voice..

"Well I'm glad someone's having fun," Qrow huffed as he shifted Jaune to a slightly more comfortable position on his shoulder.

"I had almost forgotten what it was like to… you know… just be outside...," Jaune said with a wistful tone of voice as he looked at the quickly fading background as Qrow continued to set an inhuman pace.

The two of them fell into silence, as Qrow decided to pick up the pace even more. The more distance between them and that messed up place the better.

Jaune didn't mind. He could spend forever looking at this view. Except for that weird feeling in his stomach that wouldn't go away… Jaune's face grew green as the feeling didn't go away, but instead became worse.

"Wait… Oh god… put me down…*Hurp*"

Qrow paled as he heard those words. "No no no no no no no. You are not going to barf on me after I just rescued you!"

All Qrow heard was Jaune's continued retching as the boy struggled to hold it in.

Qrow needed to make a decision quick. Would he take the risk and let the boy barf, hoping that he was running quickly enough that the barf wouldn't hit him? Or should he stop and let Jaune do his business far, far away from him?

Qrow's choice was made for him as Jaune lost the battle against his stomach and the retching noises intensified. As Qrow felt the first sensations of something warm landing on his back, he inwardly cursed Ozpin for ever sending him to this place.

"I swear if you do that again Vomit-Boy I will drop you here and you can walk the rest of the way to civilization!"

The only response that he received had been a weak groan from Jaune, that had quickly turned into another round of intense vomiting.

"... I hate you so much Jaune…"