Clary's POV

It was just after 8:00 when I crawled into bed, dress and all. I got about two hours of broken sleep before I decided to just give up and work through the day purely on caffeine. I rolled out of bed and stalked down the hallway towards the bathroom. I saw Izzy in the kitchen as I walked by and poked my head in, leaning the side of my face and part of my body against the doorframe. I was still really tired. She was sitting at the table in a dark blue short sun dress, her white bikini strings tied around her neck and cascading down her back. Her silky black hair all pulled over one shoulder. She was playing Connect-Four with Simon. He had on dark green swim shorts and a black gamer t-shirt.

"That's how you win his heart Izzy. He's loved that game since he was in first grade." I smiled at them and Izzy smiled back. Simon seemed to have a halfhearted smile and looked back towards the game and started fiddling with a handful of red checkers.

"You still look like crap Clary. Did you sleep at all?" Izzy questioned.

"A little, it's too hot, I'm too awake." I shrugged.

"Hey you don't have any plans tonight do you?" Izzy smiled and put her two hands up in front of her, both with fingers crossed. I rolled my eyes. There was no arguing with her when she was like this. Unless I had good plans, she'd convince me to do whatever she wanted.

"No Izzy. What did you want to do?"

"Eric called Simon asking about you. I told him if you weren't busy tonight, we'd let him know." She shot me a playful coy smile. I rolled my eyes. Why not? It will get me out of the cottage.

"Sure. Set it up." She beamed back at me and Simon just shook his head.

"You can't blame me-" He started but I cut him off.

"I won't. It's one date. If you can even call it a date. I have no expectations of it going anywhere. I just think it wouldn't be a bad idea to just do something different…Anyway I'm going to head out to Panera Bread. There is one about twenty minutes up the road, anybody want to come?" I shot them an encouraging smile, but they were both shaking their heads.

"No. Not really unless you're desperate for company."

"That's ok Izzy. I'll just use the time to think."

"About Jace?" She knew me too well. I nodded.

"Yeah. Among other things. I still owe you a talk, but later. If Jace asks about me, please tell him you and Simon know exactly where I am and I can be reached on my cell phone. Please don't tell him where I went. You can let him know I specifically asked you not to tell him, well unless it's important, then you can tell him. He is supposed to be giving me some space to think." Izzy nodded. Suddenly I felt a warm masculine hand against my exposed upper arm. I looked over my shoulder to see Sebastian standing directly behind me looking down at me.

"Hey. Where'd you put my phone?" I had completely forgotten Sebastian left me with his phone last night.

"You know I actually left it with your hoody on the lounge chair out back. Sorry. Want me to go grab it?" He shook his head.

"Nope I got it." Sebastian walked into the kitchen, hair tasseled, white running shorts on, no shirt. Izzy was staring at him intently like she was stalking prey, but Sebastian didn't seem to notice.

"Hey guys." Sebastian muttered. Simon murmured a good morning back.

"Where did you come from?" Izzy snapped suspiciously.

"What?" Sebastian stopped halfway through the kitchen and looked over at Izzy.

"I said..Where. Did. You. Come. From? The door to your room has been open all night. We did that so we'd all know if you came back. Where did you just come from?" Sebastian laughed.

"If you must know nosy, I came from Aline's room." I rolled my eyes.

"You're such a player Sebastian." He winked at me.

"Yes I am." He said very cocky. He left the kitchen. Izzy watched him until he was out the door and turned to me with an accusing glare.

"Clary. What happened with you and Sebastian?" Her tone was very short. I looked over to Izzy and she had both eyebrows raised. Simon was still staring at his checkers.

"Nothing. Why?"

"Oh honey, I know you much, much, much, much, better than that. Spill." Izzy started thrumming her nails against the table.

"What?" She rolled her eyes.

"He came up behind you and placed his hand on your arm, and you acted like it was nothing." I shrugged.

"Guess I didn't notice."

"That's how I know something happened." I rolled my eyes. Dammit Sebastian. Could he have really desensitized me to his touch? Is that even a thing? I had to admit it was a little odd. I do tend to be a bit jumpy when people touch me, even people I know. Except when Jace touches me, it's like an electric current rushing through my body, my heart flutters, my breath catches, my whole body tingles as the warmth of his touch spreads through me, and I become so overcome with the feeling of happiness…I shook my head clearing my thoughts of Jace.

"Whatever Izzy. Maybe I'm just relaxed, not so jumpy."

"Sure. Maybe?" She said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes. I knew how to get her distracted.

"Oh Izzy…Can you pick out something for me to wear?" Her whole face lit up.

"I would love to Clary! I'll be right back Simon." She took off like a rocket. I may have to suffer the consequences of her outfit choice, but right now she wasn't asking me about Sebastian.

"Going to even look at me Simon?" Simon sat up a little straighter in his chair and looked up from his hand still fiddling with the checkers.

"Hey there Clary." He looked kind of frustrated and uncomfortable. I walked into the kitchen and took Izzy's seat.

"What's wrong?" I pried. He rolled his eyes.

"You just took off without a word. That's not like you Clary. Everybody was so worried." I took a deep breath.

"I'm really sorry. I heard all about it this morning from Jace and Alec and I do feel really bad about not telling anybody where I was going or having a phone on so I could be reached. I know everybody was worried and it was impolite and foolish of me. Will you forgive me?" I gave him my puppy dog eyes that I knew melted him every time I apologized. He was laughing.

"Did you just say you were impolite? That sounds funny." I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever. It's true. It's not very courteous to run amuck." He laughed.

"Yes well, please refrain from running amuck in the future. I accept your apology and your punishment is time already served, so you're free to go." He flipped his hand at me dismissing me in a belittling manner.

"Oh no you didn't." I picked up the newspaper off the table and leaned forward, trying to whack him over the head with it, but he dodged out of the way.

"I'm too fast for your Clary. I have superhuman speed." I laughed.

"You play too many video games. I thought I could get you because you're not wearing your glasses." I looked at him quizzically.

"Yeah. I got contacts a few months ago, but I only wear them sometimes. I happened to bring them with me. When Izzy found out she freaked and asked me to wear them."

"Do they bother your eyes?" He shrugged.

"A little. When I first put them in they're the worse, and putting them in is the hardest part, but I've tried to wear them before, so it's not too bad."

"You look good. You always looked good with glasses too, but the glasses kind of distract from those gorgeous brown eyes." I fluttered my eyelashes at him dramatically. He smirked and shook his head.

"How long does it take Izzy to pick out an outfit?" He asked sarcastically. I rolled my eyes.

"Well don't hold your breath or anything. It might take her a while." Simon swallowed hard and his face became rather serious. He looked back towards his hand of checkers and started fiddling with them again. When he spoke, he spoke quietly.

"Clary. What is going on with you and Sebastian? He pretty clearly insinuated he slept with Aline last night, but you didn't seem upset at all about it." I shook my head.

"Nothing is going on with us Simon. We just hung out last night." Simon nodded slightly, still looking down.

"Did you wonder why I wasn't in the living room with the others when you got home?" I shrugged.

"Not really. I guess being yelled at distracted me from noticing your absence." I laughed, but he didn't so much as break a smile. Though I guess it was odd Simon wasn't there, waiting up for me, worrying with the others. He would have rushed over to me with a blanket or something, freaking out that I was going to catch my death being outside all night in just a little dress. Had he been with Izzy, I wouldn't really have thought too much about it. He'd been trying to put her needs first and I understood that. It upset her when he overreacted to everything I did. Izzy was in our room this morning though, so I knew Simon wasn't with her. He would have been alone in his room. The more I thought about it the odder it seemed. He was acting a bit strange, sitting there quietly playing with those checkers.

"Not that I wanted you to worry about me, but is there a reason you weren't with the others in the living room?" Simon swallowed hard.

"You know over the last couple of years I've been running on these trails a lot. I know the trails really good, every twist, and every turn within a couple miles. At a light jog, a mile out from the house isn't really that far Clary, I can jog that in about ten minutes without really trying…" Simon was still looking down at the checkers he was fiddling with in his hand. A shiver ran through my body, the slight inclination of where he was going with this, but my mind was just as quickly reassuring me that I was being paranoid.

"What's your point Simon?" Simon looked up at me with a very insightful look. Though he had been speaking quietly up until this point he dropped his voice to a whisper, I could just barely hear what he was saying.

"Clary…We started looking for you around 2:30…and as fate would have it…I found you before 3:00." My eyes got big and I felt my cheeks burning up and my heart rate start to elevate at the realization of what he was saying. That look, that all knowing look. Everything was racing through my mind, I was trying to do the math. Sebastian left me just before 3:30, but it only took us about 15 to 20 minutes to get there, so that meant we started heading back at what, about 3:10. So he saw us like 15ish minutes before we left. Depending on exactly when he got there he may have saw a lot. Based on the look he was giving me, I was guessing he had at least seen something. I had pretty much told Jace what had happened between Sebastian and I, but I wasn't going to paint him a picture. It was another one of my less proud moments and I really wasn't ready to make it common knowledge. This was one of those stories I would tell Maia and Izzy at a later date and we would all laugh. Nobody would be laughing right now, not even me. I still wasn't sure what he saw though, so I was still trying to play it cool. As cool as I could with rosy pink cheeks.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked hesitantly. He looked back at the checkers.

"You know why Clary." I did. Simon would have never said anything about me without getting all the details straight. He would be the last person to spread rumors about me. I wasn't in the mood to be setting the story straight right now though.

"Well I think its best left that you didn't see anything." I nodded once. I saw his lips tighten.

"Sure…For now…I don't really want everybody pissed at me that I saw you and didn't say anything…I wasn't really sure at the time what I should do…" I tried to give Simon a pleading look to just stop, I really didn't want to talk about this right now, and he seemed to catch on as he glanced up at me and back to his checkers.

"Anyway…If you're going to tell Izzy…let me know first…I don't want her to think I'm keeping things from her…Just…I really hope you know what you're doing…What's that old saying?...If you mess with fire, you're going to get burned." I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"I think I can handle this." He looked up at me very seriously.

"No Clary. I really don't think you can." He dropped the handful of checkers and got up. He walked around the table and pulled me up from my chair and into a hug. I hugged him back. I had no reason to fight him, no reason to be defensive; he was just being Simon, just being worried for me, just trying to fill that role as my overprotective brother.

"I remember when we didn't have any secrets from each other." Simon said solemnly. I smiled a sad smile.

"Yeah I remember too. That was before life was so complicated."

"You want to know what I think love is Clary?" My whole body tensed and I cringed. Not only did he likely see more than I would have ever wanted last night, but he heard more than I would have ever wanted.

"You love somebody when your feelings are so deep you care more about that person's safety and security than anything else in the world. When you know without a doubt that you would go through hell and high water for that person. When that person's sadness makes you sad and their happiness makes you happy…And Clary…you don't need to find a guy to know what love is, you already know. It's the way you feel about me, about Izzy, Maia, and Alec. It's how you felt about your mom and your stepfather. I know that you miss them and you're so afraid of letting anybody in because you're afraid if you ever lost them you would hurt like you're hurting now, but they wouldn't want that. They wouldn't want you to never love again because you were too afraid you might get hurt. You already know what love is, you just want to pretend you don't, because that's easier than admitting how you feel." I buried my face into Simon's shirt. I could feel the tears coming down my cheeks. I didn't really want to think about what he was saying. I just needed a minute to collect myself enough to stop crying. It had been a long time since Simon had held me while I cried. It seemed like over the last couple of years I saved all my tears for Alec. It was only Monday and I had already cried so much since I arrived at the lake. I cried with Alec and with Jace. Even Izzy, Sebastian, and Magnus had seen me shed a few tears. The last couple of days I just seemed to cry at a drop of a hat. I composed myself and wiped away my tears. I was not going to just stand here and cry right now. I pulled away from Simon and he dropped his arms around me. He was giving me a sympathetic half smile.

"I'm a mess." I sniffled and wiped at my eyes one more time.

"Luckily you already looked like a mess when you came in here, so you really don't look any different." I gave him a playful whack on the arm.

"You suck." He chuckled.

"I love you too Clary." I smiled.

"You know I love you." I felt a warm masculine hand press against my arm and I instinctively jerked away.

"Yeah Clary, you're just so much more relaxed than you use to be. Not jumpy at all." Izzy said sarcastically as she was shaking her head with a smirk and handing Jordan a ten; he was standing next to her with navy running shorts and a white t-shirt and a smirk. So that's who the foreign hand belonged to. I rolled my eyes.

"Did you just pay Jordan ten bucks to touch my arm?" Izzy smiled.

"You bet your ass I did." Izzy threw her hair over her shoulder.

"Hey. Easiest money I ever made." Jordan pocketed the ten laughing, as he walked over to the water cooler to get a glass of water.

"Izzy, you're turning Clary into a prostitute." Simon scolded. Izzy and I both rolled our eyes.

"Yeah Simon. I always wanted to be Clary's pimp. All my dreams are coming true." Izzy laughed. Simon's jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out in shock.

"You're such an idiot Simon." I snapped. He scowled.

"Dude, I'm the one that got paid, that makes me the prostitute." Jordan joked. It happened to be at that moment that Sebastian walked back into the kitchen.

"Who's a prostitute?" He said with one eyebrow raised looking at me. I shook my head.

"Jordan is the lady of the night in question." Sebastian laughed.

"That's one ugly lady." Jordan scoffed.

"Hey. Look at this face." Jordan gestured to his pretty boy face.

"I would be a hot chick." Simon furrowed his eyebrows at Jordan.

"No you wouldn't."

"Well I'd definitely be a hotter chick than you." Jordan shot. Simon was shaking his head.

"Really? You want to go there?" Sebastian walked over next to me to talk quietly while Jordan and Simon continued to rather disturbing argument about whether they'd be hot chicks. Izzy was actually getting involved in their conversation only to counter how stupid they sounded.

"You look like shit." Sebastian said with a smirk.

"You're an ass." I snapped.

"What time did you make it back?" I shrugged.

"Around 7:00." Sebastian's eyes widened in surprise.

"Wow. That's a late night." I chuckled.

"Yeah. Late night and a busy morning." Sebastian titled his head to the side.

"What happened?" I rolled my eyes. We had been talking quietly already, but I dropped my voice further.

"My bodyguards were waiting up for me when I got home. It wasn't pretty." He put his hand on my upper arm and rubbed from my shoulder to my elbow gently.

"That sucks." I half shrugged.

"I'm sure I deserved most of it." He rolled his eyes. He leaned in closer. We were talking just above a whisper now, though the other people in the room seemed very involved in their own discussion.

"So. I just wanted to know what our story is. Don't want to get you in any more trouble." I chuckled.

"Just assume nobody knows." He nodded once hesitantly.

"You told Jace." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks.

"That obvious?" He shook his head slightly and rolled his eyes, more in amusement. I shrugged.

"I pretty much told him…I didn't exactly paint a picture for him though." He smirked and dropped his hand, standing up straight again. He was still talking quietly, but no longer whispering.

"Still a girl scout…I'm sure you felt that was the right thing to do. I just wasn't aware your relationship with him was so serious. Weren't you just saying something to Izzy about him giving you some space? This full disclosure thing, that's part of that space? Hm?" I rolled my eyes. Besides the fact he sounded so condescending, I wasn't exactly thrilled he heard me talking to Izzy.

"Don't you have somewhere to be? Isn't there a girl somewhere that's being deprived of your special talents?" I shot sarcastically. He chuckled and winked. I could see Jordan making his way out of the kitchen and Izzy and Simon sitting back down at the table. Sebastian was now talking at a normal volume.

"I'm sure there is. See you later Clare Bear Baby?" I glowered.

"Didn't I tell you at the club I hated that nick name?" He shrugged.

"Not that I remember." I shook my head.

"Well I do." He rolled his eyes.

"Fine…See you later Clary." He said somewhat annoyed. He walked out of the kitchen and back down the hallway. Izzy was staring at me like the cat that ate the canary.

"Oh. You need to spill." She said sharply. I rolled my whole head back dramatically.

"I have to go take a shower. Talk to you later Izzy." I turned to leave.

"Not so fast." She snapped, but I didn't hesitate. I heard a chair quickly being scraped across the tile floor and then there was a hand on my shoulder spinning me around. I was face to face with Izzy. She took her hand and rubbed it up and down my arm from my shoulder to my elbow twice.

"What's this?" She asked me with one eyebrow raised.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She rubbed her hand up and down my arm again.

"Sebastian was just doing that to you. Didn't you notice?" She said the second part very sarcastically. Dammit Sebastian. My instincts to pull away from him were gone. I rolled my eyes and tried to turn away from her, but she held my arm firmly. She was looking directly in my eyes. Her voice was low, but not that low.

"You're still on the pill right?" Did I hear her correctly?

"What?"

"I mean I know you went on it a couple years ago to like regulate your cycle or something, but you're still on the pill right?" I shot her a horrified look and looked over at Simon. He appeared to be sinking down into his chair, looking at a handful of checkers.

"Izzy!" She flipped her hair over her shoulder with her free hand.

"Don't you dare Izzy me…and don't worry about Simon. He already knows all about safe sex. It's you I'm worried about. I'm serious. You can't just leave this all up to guys. You need to be responsible. You didn't bring your purse with you last night. It doesn't help if I fill that thing up with condoms if you leave it at home. Babies come from the heat of the moment Clary. One time, one mistake, that's all it takes. You need to be using protection every single time. You're the one that ends up with a mini-me when he takes off. No protection is one hundred percent, you miss a pill, it's not as effective, and condoms can break. Don't even get me started about how once a guy's pants come off they seem to forget little things like condoms, even if it's sitting right on their damn night stand! You need to take matters into your own hands, it's your body after all, you should be using both, and that's final. So are you?" I was mortified. If Simon was any lower in his chair he'd be under the table. Why does everybody feel they have to give me a big life talk lately? Izzy shook my shoulder.

"Clary, are you?" Izzy's voice was stern.

"God Izzy, yes, I'm still on the pill." She smiled and gave me a quick peck on the cheek, loudly over exaggerating MWAH.

"Good girl."

"Still…condoms…use them!…Guys are dirty…Especially that one-" Her eyes darted out the kitchen in the direction Sebastian had walked.

"-You don't want to catch anything." I rolled my eyes.

"If guys are so dirty, shouldn't you just be telling me not to have sex?" Izzy laughed.

"Clary did you forget who you're talking to. If you want the abstinence talk Simon's right over there." She gestured her hand flippantly to Simon. I could see him grimace as he slouched a couple centimeters further in his chair. I shook my head. I didn't even want to think about that. I had already had an awkward enough conversation with him.

"I got it Izzy."

"and Clary-" She smiled a big toothy smile and batted her eyelashes at me dramatically, I'd recognize that begging face anywhere. I relaxed, it looked like my awkward talk was over.

"I know…you want an orange scone from Panera Bread." She smiled.

"Thank you!" She finally let go of me and walked over to the table and sat back down.

"Oh, and your man magnet clothes are laid out on the bed me lady." I chuckled.

"Thanks Izzy. See you guys later." I threw them a little wave as I rushed to the bedroom to grab my assigned attire before taking a shower. I wanted to get the hell out of this place before anybody else decided to talk to me. I had enough awkward conversations for one day.

After I showered I changed into the clothes Izzy had laid out. Not too bad. She put out a beige lace thong and push-up bra set. As much as I harassed her I really didn't mind the thongs anymore and it was nice not to have to worry about panty lines. The push-up bras also gave me curves I didn't have and gave me an added air of femininity. She put out cut-off lightweight stretch denim shorts with a white base and an adorable print all over them of bright yellow lemons with deep green leaves. She also put out a matching green scoop neck, sleeveless, slim strap, relaxed fit, top with a shirttail hem. It was cotton! I threw on a light application of make-up, predominantly mascara, a thin line of green glittery eyeliner, and some lip gloss. I had green going on and my eyes just popped. I grabbed a pair of large thin gold hoops and threw my hair up in a messy knot. I stepped into the white wedge slip on sandals I had worn the day before. Izzy had already crazily moved all my stuff from my blue purse to a white one. I decided to grab my sketch pad, though I really hadn't drawn in a couple months. Against my better judgment I drank the last of the stale coffee that had been sitting on the counter, about a half cup, before turning off the coffee maker and leaving a note on it letting everybody know Izzy and Simon knew my whereabouts and that I had my cell if anyone needed me. I headed out to Panera Bread, dieing for some food and a large iced coffee.


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