There is a lemon ahead . . . a pretty heated lemon and it probably will be the last one for a while, so yeah, hope you enjoy it :)
Also, I'll leave it up to you guys to decide whose POV is at the beginning - Rick, Merle - both? Ya never know - have fun with that too :)
wickedclownsmile: You will see part of that friction between Rick and Daryl in this chapter before the lemon and what'choo talkin' about? Tessa's always been the boss ;). Also, if I do ever need input, I will definitely keep you in mind - thanks for the offer :)
HaloHunter89: It aggravated me on the show too when Glenn wouldn't let stuff go and so I guess that part was kinda me projecting my feelings towards Glenn through Tessa. I'm still working out Merle and Ethan's first encounter (or second, if you count Merle saving him from the walker earlier) but I can promise you its probably gonna be dramatic lol. Thanks for adding me to your favorites, by the way :)
- Nagiana
PS : I know this is waaaaayyyyy over-do, but if anyone computer savvy out there in my mass of fans want to spend the time and energy to create one of those cool little picture thingies that I can put in the top corner where Daenerys Targaryen is now, that would be much appreciated and I would ADORE it. I would, of course, list your name in the main summary box so people know its yours, so you wouldn't have to worry about that. Again, it'd be much appreciated considering all I do on computers practically is on Facebook, YouTube and in Microsoft Word :)
"Won't you give me three steps,
Gimme three steps mister,
Gimme three steps towards the door?
Gimme me three steps
Gimme three steps mister,
And you'll never see me no more."
- "Gimme Three Steps" – Lynyrd Skynyrd
Her name feels like a sin on his tongue, even though he has yet to say it.
He watches her, eyes bordering on curiosity and longing, as she folds the clothes fresh from the dryers with Beth and Wren in the common room – always humming or singing a random song underneath her breath but always loud enough for the two girls to hear. They would grin and carry on with the wordless tune, their grins matching the one on her beautiful face as they would laugh and sway with the nonexistent music. Carol remained in the cellblock, watching the sleeping babies while they complete this mundane duty and he could see that the light was sparkling in her eyes because of it. Tessa loved her children – she adored them almost as much as Daryl did and there was no disputing that fact – but sometimes, even she needed a break every once in a while, even if that break did encompass a chore like folding the group's clean clothes.
Tanned skin shining in the bright light that also seemed to bring out the blue in her black hair and her curvy body made even more-so by her pregnancy, and which was delightfully outlined in a white tank top and one of Daryl's flannel overshirts that she hadn't stopped wearing, even after the birth of the twins. She was beautiful standing there. Of course, then again, in his opinion, she was always beautiful, but that seemed beside the point for some reason.
The metal door banged open then and everyone seemed to freeze, bodies tensing at the prospect of who it could be. They had all been on high alert since the attack from the Governor but when Daryl was the one who entered, though, Seth and Ethan close on his heels and all three of them weary from the watch they had kept since that morning, everyone relaxed. Tessa's face relaxed as well and the beeline that Daryl immediately made for her, once again shocked him and almost made him sick to his stomach. Now that he was back and in the group, he was hardly taking his eyes off of her for a minute and as his hands slid around her to wrap around her waist and bring her close to him as their lips met in a chaste kiss, the grin that appeared on her face afterwards was soft and almost infectious. Wren and Ethan even shared secret glances that went completely unseen by her protective older brother.
"Where are the twins?"
"Carol's watching them in the cellblock along with Judith while they take their nap and we fold up these clothes."
"How have they been?"
"Good – quiet. They fed nicely and Danny, as always, seems a little fussy, but besides that . . ."
The look of worry on his face was immediately readable and it took a moment for Tessa to notice it. When she did, she shook her head, her hands smoothing across his cheeks to lovingly frame his face. Danny always seemed a little fussy or a little colicky or something and the fear that they might lose their son one of these days, was one of the closest fears that Daryl kept to his heart. Tessa, however, wasn't worried in the slightest and sometimes had to assure him over and over again that their son would not die – not while she and Carol and Hershel were still there. And besides, the fussiness and the slight colic was always something easily remedied – it wasn't like he was constantly contracting all these deadly, communicable diseases.
He lost interest in their conversation then, opting to turn around and head back towards the cellblock, than stand there watching them all day. Ethan and Seth watched him go with wary eyes, knowing they probably wanted to keep their eyes on him. No point in alerting Daryl to something that might not even matter, right?
When they first got together, it had been years before Merle actually saw Tessa for the first time, although that isn't to say that he had never heard of her before then. He might have been locked up behind bars and sharing a cold, empty cell with a nigger with a chip on his shoulder, but the letters he and Daryl rarely exchanged almost always seem to carry common themes:
Their father was still an asshole; the various past hunting seasons had been tough/went amazing/could have gone better.
And Tessa . . . Tessa was always beautiful.
He could immediately tell from the first letter that Daryl had sent him that also contained her, that his brother had been struck dumb, left starstruck and/or been hopelessly pussy-whipped by this squaw (or whichever term you preferred to use, anyway), purely by how much of his letters actually were of substance, which meant the scant part of the letters that were not set aside purely for Tessa.
There weren't much.
And really, when he had finally been released and was on his way home, he hadn't expected much. Daryl had never had a lot of girlfriends growing up and the girlfriends he had possessed had been average looking at best – that or they looked the epitome of typical trailer park white-trash (or at least, the ones he had seen, anyway). Their father was dead (good riddance, he always found himself saying, so the house was being left in the care of Daryl and occasionally, their uncle Jess. The squaw was living off in her own apartment, so then, he rationalized, if she wasn't anything to look at, at least he wouldn't have to look at her every minute of every damn day.
But the first time he saw her, he, who had put her down so many times in front of his friends, had ended up being struck dumb.
At first he couldn't believe that the beautiful young woman, who beamed as she met him and then pulled him into a hug that he had no idea of how to reciprocate, was his baby brother's girlfriend. Daryl was never anything to look at but this woman, this-this . . . squaw, was gorgeous. And she was good and smart – everything the Dixon brothers had never before had in a girlfriend.
For the first time, Merle had to admit that he was jealous of Daryl. He was almost pea-green with jealousy, in fact. And truth be told, he tried everything in his book to try and get her away from his little brother – schmoozing, showing off, being as courteous as he could be (which almost killed him, by the way; he supposed he was more like his old man than he thought) – but despite everything he did, her eyes had always remained unwaveringly on Daryl while Merle's remained on her. Daryl was the first thing they landed on whenever they – occasionally with their uncle – walked out of the woods holding that night's dinner, those damn beautiful brown orbs of hers lighting up like the multi-colored lights on a Christmas Tree as a grin as infectious as the plague would spread across her face at the same time. It would almost always cause the very same grin to spread across Daryl's face in turn.
And not-to-mention those Daisy Duke shorts, tight tops and Indian style dresses she always wore, didn't help matters that much either. In fact, Merle knew for a fact that they affected the both of them pretty much the same - the only difference between them was that Daryl could always pull her into his bedroom or up into the hayloft of the barn and get easily rid of the way the blood thumped through his veins whenever he saw her. Merle couldn't do that.
Merle. Couldn't. Do That.
And he doubted he could now.
But did she honestly expect him not to try? Come on, she knew him - she had know him for years before she left! She knew how he rolled! So really, she shouldn't have reacted the way she did when he first walked up to her.
"So, Tess . . . what'cha gonna do ta me now tha' I'm all ya's?" He asked her as a grin spread across on his face and as he moved to sidle up next to her. She let out a disgusted sigh and her eyes rolled as she picked up a pile of clothes from the clothes hamper she and the girls had been standing at, and took them over to another table, where she distributed them neatly into piles: the shirts that would go to Carl, her clothes and the ripped jeans and flannel shirts that would go up to her and Daryl's room, the one-sies for the babies . . .
"When I said that you're 'mine', Merle, I meant that your Daryl's. I didn't do it because I was feeling charitable towards you - I did it to keep Glenn and the others off your backs while Daryl figures out what the Hell he wants to do with you." He laughed.
"Damn girl, I didn' know ya were that freaky!" He spoke and she immediately shot him a look that practically screamed, "Excuse me?" but he merely shook his head and changed tactics. "But come on, sweet-pea – we all know the real reason ya did it!" He laughed and Wren and Beth tensed somewhat but Tessa shot them both a reassuring look over her shoulder before placing her hands on her hips and moving to face him. She arched an inquiring brow.
"Now why, in that sick little head of yours, would you ever think I want you, Merle Dixon, when I am perfectly happy with your brother? When I have three beautiful children with your brother?"
Merle shrugged then. "Well, ya . . . ya did kick him out . . ." He began, his face temporarily turning solemn and Tessa immediately let out another frustrated, disgusted sound as she rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air.
"You are such a child, Merle! You always were and you still are! You make assumptions on something that you have no idea came about in the first place!" Something occurred to her then and she grinned and let out a laugh then as she held up a finger. "Wait, wait - let me guess! You probably think that I kicked him out because when I first saw you before you kidnapped me, Glenn and Maggie and took us to that Hell in Woodbury, that all those pent-up, twisted, Freudian emotions came washing back in, huh?"
"Now, sweet-pea, I know ya were always tha intelligent one and everythin', but ya know tha' I would be able to answer tha' question if I knew what "Freudian" meant."
"You . . . are impossible!" She spoke, her face adopting a remarkably expressionless look given who she was dealing with, and Merle chuckled as she spun around on her heels and headed back in the direction of Wren, Beth and the dry clothes.
"Come on, Tess, why don' ya admit it? I was tha best lay ya ever had!"
Tessa whirled around to face him then, her eyes wide with disbelief and rage and her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. She was stunned and rightly so. How could he possibly even begin to think that after what he had done to her?
She quickly marched over to him, her finger moving to point squarely in his face, but another loud shout coming from the cellblock caught their attention. Merle and Tessa glanced at each other before making their quick way over to the entrance. They skidded to a stop, however, when they saw Rick slide through the opened doorway on his back, slightly dazed and a nasty black ring forming around his right eye. Tessa's eyes grew wide as Merle let out a whistle.
"Damn, Sheriff, who'd ya piss off?"
"Daryl, stop!"
Carol came running after the youngest Dixon brother as he stalked from the cellblock and made an immediate beeline for Rick. "Carol, what's going on?" Tessa asked in horror and Carol turned a weak look onto her and shrugged.
"I don't know! One minute, him and Rick were talking and the next, Daryl was flying into a rage!"
"Ya fucker – how could ya . . .!?" They heard Daryl growl as he bent down and grasped Rick by the scruff of his shirt. His hand rose in a fist but Tessa immediately barking for Carol to go back to the babies as she darted over to Daryl and Rick, kept him from throwing that punch. Merle grinning and shouting for Daryl to punch him once for him, didn't help matters, though.
"Daryl – Daryl, what are you doing, baby?" She asked him as she curled a hand around his wrist while his other one wrapped an iron vice around his chest. She gave a firm pull, trying to get him to his feet and off of Rick, but he stubbornly remained crouched down over the man, his hand still latched in the cloth of his white shirt while his other remained raised. Tessa knew it would be like trying to move a brick wall on her own and glanced at Merle but knew there would be no way he would help her - he was having too great of a time watching his little brother fixing to beat up the man who he figured took away his hand in the first place. "Daryl, please baby, think of what you're doing!"
"Tessa Dixon, ya better get offa me!" He growled warningly with a terse shake of his head and Tessa stubbornly shook her head in turn. Her eyes darted down to Rick lying supine underneath Daryl's enraged grip and at the weak look that appeared at Daryl referring to her with his last name, made her immediately know what this whole thing was about. She shook her head, her voice lowering down to a soothing hush that only the three of them would be able to hear.
"Daryl, baby, nothing happened between us, I promise! Now get off of him – before you do something stupid!"
"Yeah, I know ya guys didn' do anythin' – I believe him in that! I'm pissed at what he did do, though!"
"Daryl, it was just a kiss -!"
Daryl gritted his teeth and let out an enraged yell at the words as he brought his fist down. It collided roughly with Rick's cheek and the man's head snapped to the side as Daryl threw Tessa off of him and got to his feet. He then twirled around, grabbed her hand in an almost bruising grip, and yanked her roughly through the door leading to the other cellblock.
"Daryl, stop – you're hurting me!"
Daryl ignored her as he callously threw her into the abandoned cellblock's common room, where he slid his hand over his lips before moving to anxiously pace the floor. Tessa rubbed the pain away and the feeling back into her hand as he did so, her eyes falling onto him as he paced. Finally he stopped and he turned to face her, his eyes enraged and his body thrumming with the effort it took to keep his anger in check with her.
"Who kissed who?"
"Rick kissed me," She immediately answered him and he nodded, looking a little relieved as he went back to pacing. "Fuckin' bastard! Not even a day gone and he makes the move on ma woman! What kind of fuckin' guy is he?!" He muttered, more to himself than to her before he came to a stop and turned to her again. She saw his anger had returned and swallowed hard at the sight.
"He said that ya had kissed him back . . ." He turned an angry, slightly pleading gaze onto her. "Please tell me ya didn' kiss him back, Tess! Please tell me ya slapped him and walked back into that cellblock and back to our kids – please!" He closed his eyes as he spoke the last words and Tessa swallowed hard.
"I . . . I did, but Daryl, please, it was only for a few seconds and then I pushed him away – it was more of a reflex than anything -!"
"Goddamnit, Tess!"
"Daryl, please, believe me!"
"How can I?" He twirled around, his eyes meeting hers in an enraged glare. "First ya kick me out and say that I won' ever see ma kids again if I go off, then ya allow Rick to kiss ya? What the fuck, Tess?!"
"Look, you said yourself that Rick told you he was the one who put the moves on me to begin with – that wasn't a lie! And I'm sorry I kissed him back for maybe a few seconds but Daryl, nothing happened beyond that! Baby, I felt nothing with him – I feel none of the fireworks and the warmth and the-the passion that I feel with you!" She turned a pleading gaze onto him as she took a few steps towards him, a movement that Daryl didn't turn away from. He watched her though, and when she finally neared him, her hands smoothing across his cheeks to frame his face, his eyes softened somewhat. "If I had done something with him, then would I have almost immediately jumped into bed with you the night and the morning you returned like I had?"
"So ya didn' fuck him?"
"No, baby! I would never do that to you!" She answered him with a laugh and a shake of her head.
"Have ya fucked anyone else?" He asked and her laugh immediately came to a stop. For a moment, Tessa could only stand there and blink in shock. Where were these questions coming from? Was it anger talking or were these genuine fears of his? She didn't know but before she could stop herself – before the filter in her brain could stop the very sarcastic line from popping out of her mouth, it was free and dropping like an anvil between them.
"Oh, do you mean before or after Merle fucked me? Cause ya know, that's what he does."
Those sarcastic, slightly cold words seemed to have triggered something that made everything seemed to explode around her at once and before she could say or do anything further. With a loud smash, the dirty mirror on the nearby wall was shattered into a million tiny pieces and the shards fell to the cement floor in dangerously jagged shards. It was not as deafening as the resounding, sharp crack that split through the still air when the back of Daryl's hand made contact with the side of Tessa's face, but it was still pretty deafening and the reverberations off of the abandoned cellblock walls seemed to last forever.
Neither of them said anything or moved for a long moment as they allowed to sink in what had just happened between them. Dully, Tessa realized that her cheek and lip were throbbing and when she looked at him from beneath thick black eyelashes, she wasn't sure on whether or not she saw guilt there shining in his world-weary blue eyes from accusing her of something that he knew damn and good well she would never do, or righteousness because for whatever reason, his anger kept him from feeling any guilt.
Daryl grabbed her hands before she could retaliate and then forced her back against the nearby wall with a strength that momentarily knocked the wind from her lungs. She had forgotten how strong he was, and Daryl's strength certainly surprised her then. Sensing her spiteful insults simmering just below the surface, he crushed his lips to hers in a bruising kiss before seemingly melding themselves together. She wanted to sing out in joy when she felt the fireworks that immediately exploded between them in a fiery inferno – the warmth from his body flooding into hers, causing her body to flush with the heat and she found herself hoping that he felt these things too – these all-encompassing warm things.
They were both futile to the desires of their bodies and despite the lingering pain her words and his strike had caused, Tessa couldn't help but moan wantonly into his mouth as his hands framed her face and his tongue plundered her mouth, their breathing coming out harsh and wanton through their noses. Her kiss with Rick had been nothing like this and thank God it hadn't! She only wanted to have this kind of reaction with Daryl.
His lips were chapped and his tongue was hot as he dragged her towards one of the darkened cells. Teeth found her bottom lip and her groan of desire became a groan of slight pain as he sunk them down into the tender flesh. Despite the ferocity of his kiss, though, he wrapped his lips around her bottom one before sucking, his tongue swiping over the cut to ease the pain. His hands – which were rough and bruising - clung and slid over every available surface and curve of her body, finding that little about her had changed over the weeks they hadn't been together after the birth.
Clothes were quickly shed and torn from each other with a wanton abandonment that shocked the both of them. And then, in minutes that practically bordered on seconds, they were on the bunk with Daryl pounding into her with another reckless abandon, her legs finding themselves being supported on his shoulders. There was no preparation and Tessa grimaced at how long it had been since they had come together that violently – since she had been that violent with any man, for that matter. He gave her but a moment to adjust before his first earth-shattering thrust hit home. And it was then that she realized that there was nothing loving in the way they were making love at that moment. They were leaving bruises - bloody bites and gouges along each other's skin that the others would look upon with curiosity later. Tessa moaned out her pleasure and encouragement as he hoisted her legs back further and answered with loud, animalistic-like grunts before his teeth found the delicate skin of her inner thigh – marking her as his and his alone.
Somewhere distantly, Tessa found herself wondering if this was what Merle would have called 'fucking'. Her thoughts scattered, though, when Daryl shifted his weight against her ever-so-slightly. It was a movement that only made her fist her fingers into his hair even more as the nails of her other hand tore his shoulder to shreds – an action that made him let out a hiss of slight pain as his teeth gritted in the same emotion. She arched her back off of the bed and against him, urging him on in pleading whispers. By God, she had missed this - this intimacy of having Daryl so deeply within her, even when their passion was laced with anger, bitterness and abhorrence.
She had slept with her fair share of other men over the years since she left him and married Sam, but constantly, she found herself realizing that those said men were nothing like him. There had never been the same amount of intimacy with them that she had, had with Daryl. But for the love of God, Daryl was the father of her children – he would always have a certain intimacy with her that no other man would ever be able to achieve in their wildest of dreams.
She was now unabashedly moaning as her nails dug even more into the flesh of his shoulders and his back, the red marks glowing an angry red. She begged him and moaned and whimpered and Daryl found that he adored every sound that he could still get her to make. Very little had changed between them and never before had he been so happy.
"Oh my God . . . yes, Daryl! Fuck me there – right there, baby – oh God yes!"
He was right there with her when she finally tumbled over the precipice and the world shattered and careened around her in a colorfully warm arc. They fell together, riding out their joint ecstasy with moans and groans of the other's name as his hips stilled and quaked in-between hers and as he released inside of her. When reality slowly started to piece itself back together again, Tessa became aware that he had his arms wrapped around her in a certain protectiveness that she realized she had long since missed. She also realized that he was trembling again and Tessa didn't need the damp sensation against the nape of her neck to know that he was crying, and for once, she let him. The man had been through a lot these past few weeks – from losing her for those brief but agonizing couple of days, and before that having to save her from both walkers and Merle in a twisted gladiatorial combat game in Woodbury . . . this time, she would allow his tears.
Tessa ran her fingers lovingly through his hair, and eventually, he rolled off her to her left. "I love ya, Tessa . . . and ya have no idea how much I mean it! And I promise ya – I will never leave ya ever again, even if ya push me away!" He whispered brokenly against her shoulder and she returned the sentiment softly before she reached around to grasp his hand and wrap his arm around her waist. He spooned against her back, his breathing evening out as he faded away into a deep sleep. She knew they would handle this whole thing with Rick later - most likely tomorrow but for now, he was asleep and she didn't have to heart to wake him. That was the first deep sleep he had, had in God only knows how long.
And as she turned to look at him then, her gaze softened slightly. Daryl might be broken at times, but he was the one person that she could always trust with absolute certainty and she hoped he knew the same.
