Kinda a filler chapter detailing what happens before and after "Arrow in the Doorpost". Ahh, progress . . . love that smell, especially considering we have only three more episodes to go before we hit the so-called "epilogue" of this part. Next part will detail Season 4 and once again, I'm in a dilemma as to put season 4 as a new story or continue it on with this one. Don't know, but I'll probably figure it out later.
But on a different note - where are my reviewers? I know I haven't been updating that frequently, but college has been a killer and now that midterms are over, it should be winding down a little, workload wise, at least for a week or so. Promise I'll try and update more frequently.
- Nagiana
The crib had been a surprise. It wasn't exactly a huge surprise, but had definitely been a welcome one.
"Hey, Tess, we thought you might like this . . ."
Tessa had been standing with Maggie by the stove in the common room, talking over how much rations they still had, when she heard Carl's cheerful voice come from behind her. Eyebrows furrowing in confusion, especially when she saw the broad grin that immediately split across Maggie's face, she turned around, only to let out a gasp of shock when she saw the white crib that was being carried into the common room by him and Michonne. Her eyes widened in the same emotion and for a moment, she could only stand there, stunned by what she was seeing. Yes, her and Daryl had often lain awake at night thinking and talking about going out on a run and picking up things they needed and/or wanted (the crib always being high on their list of wants but not necessities) but quite frankly, with how volatile things were now, they both knew it was most likely never going to happen – a hopeless pipe dream.
But hadn't they survived on pipe dreams alone since this whole thing began? Her, Ethan and Sam heading to Atlanta because it was rumored the military had a hold on things there; their group traveling to the CDC because they wanted answers and were too afraid to stay at the quarry any longer (which is where she thought was where they have conceived the twins, that one time in the shower), or when they moved aimlessly from the destroyed CDC to Fort Benning before finally finding a new home on Hershel's farm while they continued their search for Sophia – which hands down had been the greatest pipe dream of them all!
She was glad to see that the crib could no longer be considered as such – that it was something that was now very much real and very much in her grasp.
And as she stood there and continued to gaze at the white crib in stunned shock – a stunned shock that eventually had Maggie grinning as the younger woman teasingly inquired if she was okay, her hand giving her a comforting rub in-between the shoulder blades as she spoke – Tessa realized that in this world, you really did have to enjoy the little things.
"And cherish the big ones, right?"
Her eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion as her eyes focused on Carl, and he gave her a small smile and a nod. "W-what . . .?"
"You have to enjoy the little things and cherish the big, right?" He asked her again and Tessa grinned, feeling like the kid had read her mind (or at the very least had been intuitive enough to know what she was thinking about) and nodded as she smiled and held open her arms to him. She thanked him with a grin and a kiss on the forehead as he hugged her back tightly for a minute. When they finally broke apart, she gave Michonne a kind smile as well before she pulled the other woman into a hug as well. Her embrace was tight but fleeting - not at all as lingering as hers had been with Carl.
"Hey, wha's goin' on?"
Tessa's smile broke into a grin then as she turned around, her eyes immediately landing on Daryl's look of curiosity as he walked through the door leading from the outside world to the cellblock, Merle hot on his heels as always and with their customary amount of dead squirrels and rabbits hanging from their belts. Her man was dirty and looked like he had sweat off ten pounds before going to roll around in the mud (and Merle didn't look any better), and normally, Tessa would have wrinkled her nose up in disgust upon seeing him, but at that moment, she didn't care. She gestured to the crib sitting before her and which was still sitting in-between Carl and Michonne, before turning back to him, a playfully smug smile on her face.
"Look who was thinking about us on their gun run!" She told him and immediately, Daryl's eyes widened in the same look of stunned shock that she had carried for a moment when she first saw the white crib too. He was still gazing at it with the same look on his face, even when he undid his belt and handed it to Maggie, who gingerly took it from him before depositing the dead animals on the nearby table beside the ones hanging from Merle's belt that he had so recently placed there as well.
"Is tha' . . . is tha' a crib?" He asked and Tessa nodded and let out a laugh as she threw her arms around him in a hug, unheeding of his filthiness or the completely unappetizing smell of dead animals that practically coated him like a second skin, and Daryl numbly wrapping an arm around her waist to hug her back as Carl and Michonne shot each other grins at the comical look on his face. "Where in tha Hell did ya get tha'?" He asked, his eyes falling onto the boy standing before him, and Carl gave a nonchalant shrug.
"Mom's friend owned a baby store not far from where we were at. We stopped by while dad was collecting guns and picked up a few things. We also got one for Judith as well."
Daryl nodded numbly at Carl's words and Tessa planted a kiss on his neck. "It's about time the twins were moved into their own room with Judith, don't you think?" She asked him and he turned his gaze down onto her, where her eyes flashed. "We'd have the guard office all to ourselves, too . . ." She trailed off, her voice sounding as tempting as fresh honey and his lips twitched upwards into a smile as he gave a shrug.
"Truthfully, babydoll, tha whole sleepin' situation wasn' really botherin' me to begin with. Actually, I'm more surprised by the way ya -"
"Eww – oh my God, Daryl, your positively filthy!" Tessa interrupted him as she took an immediate step away from him, her nose wrinkling upwards in disgust as her eyes quickly scanned him head to toe. He rolled his eyes and nodded.
"Yah, tha' ya hadn' had tha' reaction yet."
She ignored his words and she continued to stand there, almost as in stunned shock that she had actually hugged him when he was looking and smelling like that. It was as if it suddenly occurred to her that she had been hugging up on him when he was in a state that normally had her on the other side of the cellblock from him until he at least took a shower and that alone was a source of amusement for the others present there watching them. It wasn't a secret that Tessa was a little bit of a clean freak – dirt and sweat on a guy didn't nearly turn her on as when the man in question stepped forth from the shower sparkling clean and smelling like Irish Spring soap!
"Yeah – that's a no go, Mr. Dixon. You are going to go take a shower before dinner, let alone before you even think of crawlin' up in the bed with me tonight feelin' frisky and wantin' some!" She told him and Daryl let out a laugh as he gestured to the crib.
"Ya think ya might need some help movin' -?"
"Oh for the love of God, Daryl, I might be a woman, but I ain't helpless! Wren and I can more than handle moving a crib into the cellblock and even if we couldn't, we have an ample supply of help! Now go take that shower – you ain't getting out of it!"
Daryl knew he wasn't. He remembered all too well the moment's growing up when he had gotten home in the wee hours of the morning from various hunting trips or from working whatever dead end job he had at the time, and tried crawling in the bed with her - where all he wanted to do was sleep - only for her to kick him out of the bed at two in the morning while all the while snapping at him to go take a shower first. He supposed he should be long used to it but it didn't mean he didn't drag his heels a little bit.
Daryl shot her a look that was half irritated, half amused, before turning around on his heels and heading for the barred door that led to the showers. He shot Merle a look of bloody murder when his older brother immediately shot him a grin before cracking an imaginary whip through the air while simultaneously doing the sound effect that accompanied the motion. Tessa shot the eldest Dixon a look as well before snapping his name reprimandingly. Merle glanced at her and rolled his eyes as a tense grin remained on his face.
"Ya can calm those perfect tits of ya's, sweet-pea - its jus' me givin' ma baby brother a hard time!"
"Yeah, well you could do that over there – we need squirrels and rabbits gutted and dressed before dinner!" She told him, her voice cold and brooking no argument as her hands appeared on her hips, and Merle stood there for a moment, looking as if he maybe wanted to say something back, but eventually – and wisely – thought better of it. He simply shook his head in slight wonderment instead, before he grabbed up the two belts lying out on the nearby table and made his way for another on the other side of the room, where he could work in peace.
"Fucking scumbag . . ." Tessa muttered under her breath and with a shake of her head, and Maggie shot her a grin as she returned back to the food that was being headed up on the stove. "Where's Wren?"
"She was with Ethan." She replied and Tessa nodded.
"Where was she with Ethan, exactly?"
"He had watch duty, so she went out there to keep him company."
"Now don' ya worry none, sweet-pea, we passed 'em on tha way back in. Tha kid ain' doin' nothin' he shouldn' be doin'; little gentleman, he is." Merle assured her from his spot on the other side of the common room, his eyes remaining pinned on the squirrel he was currently gutting, and Tessa let out a huff of air.
"That's . . . shockingly comforting." She muttered with a roll of her eyes although the words were more truthful than she wanted to admit. Maggie continued to grin as she set the spoon in her hand down before wiping her hands off on the nearby rag.
"Don't worry, hun, I'll help ya."
Tessa shot her a thankful look as the two women moved to pick up the crib that was standing by itself where Carl and Michonne had left it. The two were gone, probably off to either see if Rick or Glenn needed help with anything or to avoid Rick or Glenn who might need help with anything. The two of them seemed like they had an innumerable abundance of shit to do or which needed help with, too.
"God, this thing is heavier than it looks!"
Tessa grinned at Maggie's slightly grunted words as the two women picked up the bulky item and then lugged it through the opened door into the cellblock. For once, Tessa didn't feel Merle's eyes on her whenever she walked away from him and for that, she was glad. Nothing distracted a Dixon more than cutting something open.
They saw where Carl and Michonne had already placed Judith's in one of the bunkless cells and they quickly moved towards this cell with the crib being carried in-between them. Beth was inside, standing in front of the baby's crib and gently rocking a squirming Judith back and forth, her eyes growing wide when she saw the women moving quickly towards her with the crib.
"Are the twins going in here too?" She asked in curiosity, and Tessa nodded as they moved in and placed the crib down on the floor where they wanted it, Beth expertly moving out of the way. Tessa wiped the sweat from her brow with the bottom of her shirt before answering her. It was an unusually balmy day – no wonder Daryl and Merle came in looking like two pigs fresh from the sty.
"Yup. We thought we'd move them down here with Judith so that all the babies could be in one place. It'd be easier to tend to them that way; easier to keep one sleeping schedule and easier feeding schedules - you name it, it'll make it easier!"
"Yeah and like you and Daryl getting the guard office all to yourselves again isn't a pretty sweet deal too, right?" Maggie grinned beside her and Tessa shot her a grin as well over her shoulder before giving a shrug.
"Yeah, but I don't think that's exactly something we should be examining right now." She told her with a grin and a wink and Maggie shook her head in good-natured bemusement as Tessa heaved a sigh and pointed towards the general direction of the guard office. "You want to help me relocate them?" She asked, and Maggie nodded as she followed her from the cell then, where it wasn't long before they reached the stairs.
"You mind if I asked you a question?"
Tessa's eyebrows furrowed slightly at Maggie's words and she nodded. "Of course – what's wrong?" Maggie gave a half-shrug.
"Oh nothing, it's just . . ." A slightly uneasy look appeared on her face then. "You and Daryl don't use protection when you . . . you know . . . do you?" She asked and Tessa immediately felt something close to a hot blush burn across her cheeks. She opened and closed her mouth for a minute before giving a half-shrug and shaking her head.
"We, um . . . n-no, we don't."
"And you guys don't worry about getting pregnant again?"
Tessa gave a laugh. "Maggie, it's not exactly like we can go out to Wal-Mart and buy condoms whenever we wanna have sex! And likewise, I can't really go out and get birth control anymore either!" She gave another half shrug. "And quite obviously, we're not gonna stop having sex just because there's always that fear that I could get pregnant, we just . . ." She stopped for a while and looked away for a minute. When she finally turned back to her and spoke again, her voice was low and quiet, knowing that it was quite easy for words to carry in the cellblock. "He just . . ." She rolled her eyes then before quickly adding: "Daryl just doesn't always bottom out in me, you know?"
"You mean, he . . .?" Tessa nodded.
"Yeah, he . . . pulls out a lot of the time. Believe me, it sucks, but we have to do it sometimes. I don't exactly want another baby at my age and he's perfectly content with the three he has now, so . . . we have to be cautious if we don't want to risk it, which doesn't happen that often, let me tell ya! When it comes to that topic, neither of us exactly wants to play Russian Roulette, you know?" She asked with a laugh and Maggie nodded as she turned her eyes onto the young woman beside her, a look of interest flickering through them in the meantime. "Why do you ask?"
Maggie looked away for a moment before turning back to her, swallowing heavily as she did so. "Glenn's mentioned . . . he's mentioned that he might wanna have a baby pretty soon – after all this shit with the Governor is through, I mean." She confessed and Tessa's eyes immediately grew wide with shock, a look that Maggie nodded glumly at.
"Yup, that was my reaction exactly."
"Well, what do you want?"
Maggie weakly shrugged. "I don't know, Tess, I mean . . . I want to have kids eventually – I want to have the semi-happy peaceful family life that you and Daryl have, but . . ." She heaved a sigh. "But with the way things are going now, what with the Governor wanting to kill us, and with Lori dying and you surviving your births, I just . . . I don't wanna risk it, you know? Call me a coward, but I don't wanna do something that could get me killed!" Tessa nodded in half-hearted agreement as she stopped on the stairs, Maggie stopping with her, and the two women turned to gaze at each other then.
"I can completely understand your worries and fears, Maggie – I've had them! But when I was pregnant with the twins, me and Daryl wanted them so badly, that me dying simply didn't occur to us nearly so much as it had occurred to Lori. And besides, it wasn't exactly like we could ask for a puppy instead at that point in time, huh? Whether or not I wanted them or not, I was going to have them so I mine-as-well have gotten used to it if I didn't already want them – which I did!" She spoke with a laugh before giving Maggie a soft look. "But honey, you have to talk to Glenn about this. Whether you want a baby or not, whether he wants a baby or not, you have got to talk this out with him. You gotta let each other know what you're feeling, especially with something like this. Like you said, this is a huge and dangerous decision. You got to be committed to each other body and soul for this to work." Maggie nodded slowly.
"I know, and I'll do that. It's just . . ." She gave a shrug then. "I feel like ever since Woodbury, he's . . . he does not really want to listen to me, you know? He knows what happened there with me but he still . . . he still wants to treat me like I'm porcelain, and I'm not, Tess, I'm not! You know I'm not!" She told her with a shake of her head and Tessa nodded in agreement.
"I know you're not, honey. Your strong – one of the strongest here, probably, and Glenn has to understand that. Hell, he's gotta be willing to listen to you if he wants a baby. You know . . ." She gave a half-shrug. "He's has to be a Daryl in this – be 100% committed for a pregnancy – instead of half like Rick did. In this day and age, it's almost mandatory."
That next morning had been the morning where Rick went to meet with the Governor and try to work out a deal with him that did not end in violence. Daryl and Ethan went with Rick and Hershel, Daryl judging there to be more than enough people left to hold down the fort while they were gone. But when they arrived back, they saw Rick was pissed and at his wit's end, and Tessa found that she had chewed her nails down to the stumps worrying for Daryl and their son, especially after the shit she had heard Merle constantly sprout off with during the entire time they were gone.
"How did it go?" She asked when Rick first entered, Daryl, Ethan and Hershel hot on his heels and he wordlessly shook his head as he quickly moved past her. He had been ignoring her and avoiding her since the whole thing with Daryl and while she knew for a fact that things were patched up between the two men, she could see that Rick had changed his attitude towards her - or at least tried to. That didn't mean it didn't frustrate her, though, and she opened her mouth, stunned, as she turned to watch him go. However, she quickly recovered when she felt Daryl's hand gently hook under her elbow and turn her to face him. "Baby, what's going on?"
"A lot of shit, babydoll."
"Like what?"
"Where to start? Well, for one, deddy had to get into a damn pissin' contest with one of the Governor's men there!" Ethan immediately snapped when he moved up to them, his weary, tense eyes settling onto his father and Tessa's eyes snapped onto Ethan before the fell back onto Daryl again. Daryl simply gave a nonchalant shrug.
"Pussy . . ."
Daryl grinned. "Well, ya know what they say, kiss-ass . . . ya are what ya eat and I happen to do tha' a lot, so . . ." He gave a shrug. "But somethin' tells me ya ain' exactly gettin' to do tha' much anymore, which leaves ya with nothin' to do but kiss the boss' ass, so . . . doesn' tha' make ya a 'kiss-ass'." He gave a half-shrug then, one that Ethan and Andrea rolling their eyes at each other as Morales adopted a slightly red look on his face. "Personally, I think ma nickname's better – it's certainly more fun!"
And then Daryl's favorite . . .
"Want one?" Daryl asked as he held out a pack of cigarettes to Morales leaning up against the metal silo nearby, and he shook his head as he allowed his head to fall back against the metal.
"Naw . . . I prefer menthols."
"Douchebag . . ."
Daryl distinctly remembered the conversations he had, had with the man and as his son spoke, Daryl realized that it had very much been a pissing contest. It was a pissing contest that he hated to say a damn near draw, though.
"Wha' if I did? Wha' 'bout it?" Daryl asked before shooting him a playfully reprimanding look. "Ya sad ya didn' get on it or somethin'?" He asked and Ethan immediately rolled his eyes as he deposited his guns on the table laden with the guns and ammo that Rick, Carl and Michonne had brought back. Wren had joined them by then and her hands sunk deep in the pockets of her back jeans when she finally closed the distance between them. Tessa shot her a kind look as Daryl pulled her in a one-armed hug, one that she readily allowed. Ethan's eyes flitted to her and she gave him a small, gentle smile that they could see calmed him down somewhat. He was still on edge, though and it showed when he turned his attention back onto Daryl.
"Don' flatter yaself, deddy – I wouldn' have gotten into it even if you two sent me an invitation! I'm jus' embarrassed that you thought you had to whip your dick out to the first guy who whipped his out!" He snapped and Daryl let out a bark of a laugh as he released Wren, the young girl moving away in favor of stepping closer to Ethan. Tessa, meanwhile, shot her son an angry look.
"Ethan, that is enough -!"
"Well excuse me, Ethan, if mine turned out to be bigger!"
"Deddy, it was a draw!"
"Well even so, he was Spanish, so it couldn' have been tha' big!"
"Daryl!"
Wren had a light blush blooming out across her cheeks by then and Ethan let out an exasperated groan as he rolled his eyes. There was a hint of amusement to his eyes and body language, though, that told the both of them that he wasn't nearly as pissed off at his father as he had originally suggested. They did this – they would tease each other, rattle each other's cages – making jokes the entire time – but it never amounted to anything big between them, anger wise. It was simply something Ethan and Daryl did and despite how it normally would have caused growing enmity between two other normal people, between the two Dixons, it seemed to bring them together even more.
"Ah, go on and get! I think Little Bird wants to spend some time with ya anyway!" Daryl eventually diffused the situation with an amused voice and by lovingly ruffling his son's hair. Wren shot him a playfully mean look at her nickname, a look that Daryl teasingly shot back as Ethan jerked himself out of his father's grasp. He did it with a smile, though, and Daryl returned it as the two of them headed off into the cellblock. Tessa watched them go before turning a wary gaze onto Daryl.
"Are you sure about allowing them to do that?" She asked him, and Daryl rolled his eyes.
"Babydoll, we can hardly do anything in another room without the walls echoing! Wha' makes ya think they can – in a cell?" He asked her with a laugh, and as he shook his head. "Naw, Ethan knows what he's doin'. Trust me, they ain' doin' anythin'." Tessa nodded as she turned her eyes back onto him.
"Merle tried to leave today, when we were making sense of all the guns that they had brought back. He tried to go after you." Daryl's eyes widened.
"Are ya serious?" Tessa nodded solemnly as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Who stopped him?"
"Beth did, surprisingly. Glenn and him, they got into a fight when Glenn tried to stop him from leaving and she shot a bullet into the air to break things up. The gunshot scared the kids half to death to the point to where it took us a full hour to get them to stop crying, but it got the job done nevertheless." Daryl heaved a sigh and shook his head as he opened his mouth to say something, however, Rick interrupted them by gesturing for everyone to group around him in the cellblock. Tessa and Daryl turned and moved slowly into the block, Daryl's arm looping around her waist as they moved, bringing her back against his front when they stopped, and they saw Ethan and Wren come out of the cell she shared with Beth, looking the exact same as when they went in except with their hands clasped. Tessa shot Daryl a relieved smile and Daryl replied with one that said, 'Well-I-Told-Ya-Didn'-I?'
"So, I met this Governor," Rick announced, nodding his head and looking slightly thoughtful. "I sat with him for quite a while."
"It was jus' tha two of ya?" Merle asked from his spot beside Daryl and Tessa, and Rick nodded in answer. Merle shook his head and heaved a sigh. "We should have gone when we had tha chance, bro." He muttered to Glenn who gave him a mean look as he turned around and headed by into the common room, however, not so far into the common room that he still couldn't hear.
"He wants the prison," Rick spoke up when Merle was done, his eyes moving to linger on each and every one of them for a moment. "He wants us gone - dead, being preferred. He wants us dead for what we did to Woodbury getting our own back . . ." He trailed off and stayed quiet then for a moment before he nodded resolutely, his eyes landing on Daryl and Tessa then, at Tessa's slightly nervous look and Daryl's more determined one. "We're going to war."
Everyone descended into a heavy silence then as Rick left then for the outer walkway, ignoring Daryl and Tessa as he moved past them and as Tessa numbly turned around, where Daryl took her in his arms. She didn't know how she should feel about that . . . she didn't want to think about how much danger Rick's decision put them in.
