Chapter 30: Cassie: The Slap
It's been a few hours since we left the factory where David had kept us. In the meantime we managed to carry Tom and Jake from the woods. We were also able to flag down an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
At first Jake refused to be taken to the hospital, he didn't want anyone to know what had happened, just in case any Controllers found out about David. But the Ellimist had taken care of David and his men, he hid his identity from the public.
At first the paramedics didn't want to take us with them as they took Jake and Tom to the hospital, but when Rachel told them that she was their cousin, that I was Jake's girlfriend and that we were all friends they reluctantly agreed to take us with them. On the way the paramedics confirmed what we were all too ashamed to admit, that Tom was dead, and there was nothing that we could do for him. When Jake heard this news he lashed out frantically from his stretcher, the paramedics had to strap him down so that he didn't hurt anyone. The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever, I held Jake's hand the whole way as the paramedic worked on him, while the others just watched Jake as he broke out into spontaneous fits of rage and sadness, switching from blind fits of rage to uncontrollable crying. Finally the paramedics had no choice but to sedate him until they got to the hospital.
At the hospital the doctors rushed Jake to the emergency room, leaving the rest of us in the lobby to be questioned by the police. Luckily we had already decided on a story before we had left the woods. It was a stretch but it was all we had.
When the police had questioned us what happened Rachel spoke up, and took care of all the talking. We had decided that I was the one who should of told them because I was the most convincing, but when they first started talking to us I couldn't keep myself from crying long enough to talk, so Rachel being the good friend that she is took the job of telling the police what happened.
She told them that Jake and Tom were attacked by some random stranger's and dragged into an alley and robbed at knife point. And that they had attempted to fight them off but they were outnumbered and beaten, and that Tom was beat to death. Rachel told the police that we happened to be walking by when we saw Jake carrying Tom beaten and bloody down the street, and that we rushed to help them to the hospital. Rachel explained that we never saw who had attacked them, and that we didn't know where they had been attacked either, and that Jake told us what happened, saying that he fought them off in order to get away. We were all worried that someone would find David's body in that factory, but luckily for us The Ellimist took care of it, he moved David to a secluded alleyway just as Jake said, he also hid his identity from the police and paramedics that found him. The police were more than shocked to hear that Jake had killed one of the attackers in self defense, one of the officers was skeptical about whether or not it was self defense or revenge but the police chief said that it didn't matter, and that no one was going to press charges on Jake.
Within an hour most of our parents had arrived at the hospital. All except Jake's who had been out of town and were on their way back. Luckily for Marco we were taken to the same hospital that his father was in, so Marco spent most of his time with him.
All of our parents were all worried beyond belief when they met us at the hospital, which is to be expected, since they had just learned that we were at the hospital with Jake and Tom. We worried about Tobias and Ax though, since that they had no parents to call, when the police officers asked them for their parents numbers I started to worry that they would realize that they didn't have any parents. But Tobias handled it and told them Erik the Chee's dad's number. Erik's dad covered as their father for them.
My parents rushed to see me when they arrived, I spotted them as they walked through the door, I could barely stop myself from screaming and crying like a baby as I ran into my parents arms. My mom tried to comfort me as my dad spoke to the doctors about Jake.
At eleven the doctors told us that they had Jake stable, and that he was awake. We all demanded to see him but the doctors refused, saying that only adult family members were allowed to see him. And since none of us fit that criteria only Rachel's mom was allowed to see him since she was his aunt and since his parents had left her in charge of talking to the doctors while they were on their way to the hospital.
Rachel's mom was only in Jake's room for a few minutes but when she came back she was shaken, looking in shock. We all asked how Jake was doing but all she said was that he was 'okay', nothing more, nothing less.
Around midnight Jake's parents arrived, I felt terrible for them, they had just been told that one of their sons had just been killed and that the other had killed his attacker, I can't even begin to imagine what was going through their minds. Jake's mom rushed over to me, crying, she wanted to know if I was okay, that shocked me at first. One of her sons had died and the other was in the ER and she was worried about me. I asked why she was worried about me, she answered quickly that she and her husband considered me one of their children, since Jake and I have known each other for years. It was at that moment that I realized how much everyone was worried about me because I was his girlfriend. Whenever a nurse, doctor, paramedic or police officer heard that I was his girlfriend they worried for me and treated like I was one of the ones who was attacked. Jake's mom brought me aside from the others to talk, she asked if I would be there for Jake when he got out. This stopped my heart, she continued saying that he would need me after all this was over. Saying that he needed someone there for him. I of course said that I'd always be there for him.
A few hours later the doctors approached Jake's parents and said that he was awake for medicine if they wanted to see him. I asked if I could see him too, the doctor quickly told me no but Jake's mom convinced him that I had as much right to see him as they did, saying that I was practically a member of their family.
Jake's parents and I headed up to his room, they went if first, only staying for a few minutes so that he could rest. I went in after they left.
I walked in quietly, trying not to disturb him, when I turned the corner and saw him my heart stopped, he laid there in the bed wrapped in bandages and casts and connected to more machines than I've ever seen. He looked like someone on his deathbed, being kept breathing by machines. I expected his face and eyes to light up when he saw me, I expected for him to burst out crying again as I held him. But neither his face nor his eyes lit up when he saw me, they filled with sorrow, regret and sadness.
"Jake?" I asked him, he wasn't saying anything, he was just lying there, motionless. "It's me, can I sit?" I asked, pointing to the seat next to his bed. He just stared at me, not answering me, so I sat.
"Jake." I started as I reached for his hand, but he quickly jerked his hand away. I sat there, upset and confused, he looked like he wasn't happy to see me, he refused to even look me in the eye.
"Jake, what's wrong?" I just looked at him as he stared into space.
"Jake? Are you okay?"
"Three." He whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. I looked at him and it seemed like he didn't know that he had said it out loud.
"Three what?" I asked. His eyes grew slightly wider as he turned to look at me.
"Three more." He said, a little louder.
"Three more what?" I asked him. "Jake, you need to just rest."
He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. "I killed three more people." He said, his eyes growing cold.
I just stared at him. "I Killed David, Tom and you, I killed three more people." He said this with almost no emotion whatsoever.
"You didn't kill me or Tom, David did, and David' death was not your fault, it was just a reaction, you had no control over your actions."
"Yes it was, I knew what I was doing, I wanted him dead so bad, so I killed him, because he killed Tom, and you…" He trailed off, not finishing his sentence.
"Jake." I started but he interrupted me before I could say another word.
"Do you have any idea how many people I've killed in this war?"
"No." I said, reluctantly. "I try not to keep track."
"Well I do, I've killed thousands, and today I killed three more."
"Jake." I said, trying to take his hand again.
"Don't try to say that I didn't, everyone's deaths are on me. I should have just killed myself and not tried to outsmart David, if I had, then no one else would have gotten killed, like you."
"Jake, it's not your fault."
"Yes it is!" He said as he started raising his voice. "It's all my fault, it's all on me! I killed David, I killed Tom, I killed you!" His voice was shaken. "Jesus, Cassie, I killed you. I killed the one person who I cared for most in this world."
"Jake," I said, trying to sound reassuring. "I'm not dead, remember? The Ellimist brought me back, I'm still here, I'm here with you. You don't need to worry about that anymore. I'm here, I always will be."
"I can't." He said, raising his voice again. "I can't just forget about it, I killed you, I held your dead body in my arms. I just can't forget something like that."
"Jake," I started. "Don't worry, we'll get through this, I'll always be here with you. We are all here for you."
Jake's face grew stoic. "No." He said, emotionless.
"No what?"
"You won't be there anymore."
"What are you saying? I will always be there for you."
"No, I can't do this anymore, I can't lose any of you again."
"What are you saying, Jake?"
"I'm saying that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something were to happen to you again. Or any of the others for that matter."
"Jake, what are you saying?"
"Cassie I'm leaving the team, I'm quitting the Animorphs. I can't order any of you around anymore. I can't order my friends to their deaths every mission. "
"Jake, don't say that, just give it some time t-"
"No!" He screamed at me. "I've already thought it over. I've always told myself that the day that I let one of you die is the day that I quit. You died because of me, I don't want that to happen ever again."
"Jake, let us at least talk about this, maybe we can-"
"Shut up, Cassie!" He raged at me, my eyes widened. I was in disbelief, he had never said that to me before. "I've made up my mind, I'm done with the team, I'm done with you."
"What does that mean? Done with me?"
"What do you think?" His voice turned harsh.
"Don't give me that, Jake. I've always been there for you, you can't just say something like that." I said as I leaned in towards him, pointing a finger in his face, he seemed startled and angry.
"Get out of my face, Cassie." He warned.
"I can get in your face if I want, you need to hear this, all of this is not your-" At that moment Jake did something that I never in a million years thought he'd do, he backhanded me. Knocking me out of my seat and onto the floor.
"I said get out of my face!" He screamed, loud enough for the whole hospital to hear, I'm sure that they heard the slap as well. For a few seconds I just sat there on the floor, holding my bruised cheek, in shock that he had just hit me.
He just fumed at me until the rage was replaced by shock as he realized what he had done. He looked down at his hand, shaking. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." He said as he reached his hand out to me, I quickly avoided it and backed away from him. Worried that he'd get mad and hit me again I left without saying a word.
"Cassie!" He cried, tears rolling down his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." As I headed down the hall I could hear the sound of him screaming louder and louder as I could hear the sounds of objects being thrown against the wall.
I turned the corner and was met with the others, they had all heard what had happened, I'm sure, they all watched me as I walked past them and headed for the door.
"Cassie." Rachel called out, running after me. "Stop." I stopped. "What happened in there? We heard him screaming then the sound of things smashing into the wall."
I just stood there as Rachel was looking at my face, I had tried to turn my face so that she wouldn't see the mark on my cheek but it didn't trick her for a second. A look of shock and anger shot across her face as she realized what happened.
"What did he do you to? Are you okay?" She said as she turned my cheek towards her. "Oh my god," She said, anger forming in her voice. "Did he hit you?"
"It's nothing, Rachel, I'm fine." I said as I started to walk away, I didn't get far until Rachel grabbed my arm, stopping me.
"Nothing my ass, Cassie. Tell me, did he hit you, because it sure sounded like he hit you, the entire hospital heard it. Your parents were freaking out."
"It's fine, don't worry about it." I said, trying to break free from Rachel's grip. "I need to go."
"No, not this time." She said, lowering her voice so that on one could hear. "Cassie, just tell me, did he hit you?"
I looked at her, fine, I thought, she has the right to know. I took a deep breath. "He didn't mean to, he was getting flustered and I got in his face, it was my fault. He apologized right after, but I left before I could think, I just left without a word."
"Oh my god, Cassie." Rachel said, pulling me in for a hug, a thing that she almost never does. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I'm more shocked than anything."
"What happened in there? What could you guys have been talking about that he got mad enough to hit you? He's never done anything like that before."
Rachel and I sat down on a bench outside for an hour as I told her what happened. Since it was the first chance we had to talk I told her what had happened with Jake's imposter on the phone. Saying that maybe he was right that I couldn't help Jake. Rachel said that it was ridiculous but I wasn't sure. I also told her what had happened with the guy in the woods and what he had tried to do to me. Before I knew it I was crying in front of a bunch of people, but I didn't care, I had had one hell of a day, I didn't care if anyone saw me.
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It's been a month since David had kidnapped us and killed Tom, and in that time none of us have seen Jake in over two weeks. After Tom's funeral he just seemed to disappear. He stopped going to school and whenever one of us went to his house to see him he either wasn't there, was asleep because he got home at three in the morning or just refused to see us. The rest of us had decided to temporarily stop fighting the Yeerks in order to reflect on what had happened and try to get Jake back. But everyday the idea of Jake just showing up at one of our meetings shrank. We were all worried about him, word around the school was that he had started drinking and doing drugs and that some kids saw him buying drugs on a street corner. We had all hoped that they were just mistaken and that it wasn't Jake or that it was just a rumor, but every day I seemed to believe that it was him more and more.
I had gone to sleep thing about him, like I had been for the past several weeks, not like I used to when I was younger and had a major crush on him and couldn't keep myself from thinking about how soft his lips must be or how he looked without a shirt. Now I mostly worried for him, we had never officially broken up but I knew that he wouldn't be back anytime soon. I had been dreaming about what I would say to him if he were to come back when I suddenly woke up. I sat up in my bed, confused as to why I had just woken up. I looked at my room, no one was there, I looked at my window where Jake normally sat as he waited for me to open the window in falcon morph, no one there. I had this strange feeling that someone was there but I couldn't find who it was. I walked around my house as quiet as I could in order to not wake up my mom, since she had to get up early for a meeting at the Gardens she wouldn't be happy if I woke her up. My dad was out of town for the weekend at a vet conference, which is good news for me since my mom could sleep through anything but my dad woke up from the slightest noise. I walked around downstairs as I looked out the window, I could barely see the barn in the darkness, but I could see a tiny amount of light coming from inside. My first thought was that something had gone wrong with Tobias or Ax and that one of them had gotten hurt. My second thought was that it was Jake, but I pushed that thought away, there was no way that it was him.
I quickly slipped on my shoes and headed to the barn, careful to open the door as quiet as I could, my heart nearly stopped beating, standing on the far side of the small storage room for the medicine was Jake, standing with his back towards me. I just watched him for a few seconds, trying to figure out what he was doing, he was opening all the drawers and going through them. Then it hit me, that's where my dad kept the painkillers for the animals, Jake was stealing medicine from me.
He sifted through the drawers for a while until I guess he found what he was looking for, he held the bottle in his hand and started whispering to himself, but he seemed weird, I couldn't understand what he was saying. He looked at the bottle for a few seconds before putting it back in the drawer as he sighed to himself. He still hadn't noticed that I was there, he continued mumbling to himself.
I walked next to him and stood next to him. "Jake?" I said, trying to sound like I was surprised to see him and had just seen him.
He jerked to the side, startled. "Casie?" He asked, his voice sounding jumbled. "What are you doing here?"
I looked at him, confused. "I live here, Jake, what about you? What are you doing in my barn at two in the morning?"
"I uh, I was,... nothing." He was obviously a little drunk and confused, while I haven't spent a lot of time around drunk people I have seen them enough to know if someone's drunk.
"Jake, tell me, what are you doing?"
He looked a little embarrassed, like a like kid stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. "Look." He said, looking me in my eyes for the first time in a month. "I'm not going to lie to you, I came here to try to find something."
I looked at him confused. "What could you possibly be trying to find in my barn?" I asked, knowing that he was talking about the medicine.
"I was trying to find something to get rid of the pain." He said, his face filled with sorrow.
"Like what?" I asked reluctantly.
"Like you." He said with a smile.
"What do you mean?" I asked a little wearily.
"I'm sorry for how we left things." He said, not answering my question. "I hope you know that I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I know that you didn't. It was my fault, I got in your face when you were mad and warned me not to."
He just stared and smiled at me for a few seconds. "What do you want, Jake? Why are you really here?"
He just kept staring for a few more seconds when he suddenly spoke up. "You're so beautiful." He said, taking a tiny step towards me that I barely noticed.
"What?" I asked, it had completely caught me off guard.
"I said that you're beautiful, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."
"Okay…" I said, trying not to blush. "Why are you telling me this in my barn at two in the morning?"
"Because I love you." He said simply.
I just stared at him. Was he really trying to get back with me at two in the morning in my barn while he was drunk?
"I've loved you since the day I first set my eyes on you. I still love you."
"I love you too, Jake, but why are we talking about this now? I've been trying to talk to you for a month but you refused to talk to me."
"I'm sorry for that, I know that I really hurt you."
"Yeah," I said. "You kinda did."
"I just want to make it up to you some way."
"How?" I asked skeptically?
"I have an idea." He said as he stepped towards me, leaning in as he lightly held my chin. "Like this." He said as he kissed me. At first I tried to pull back but after a few seconds I gave into his kiss. I could taste the huge amount of liquor on his breath as he moved his tongue around in my mouth. For what seemed like hours we just stood there, kissing passionately, stopping just long enough to come up for air.
When he finally pulled away I could feel that my body wanted more. We had very rarely ever kissed like that before.
"Do you forgive me?" He asked, as he wrapped his arms around me. "Because if you don't than I can still make it up to you."
"Jake," I started. "I don't thi-" He broke me off with another even more passionate kiss, after a few seconds I could feel his hands moving from my shoulders down my back. At first I didn't realize what he was doing until he started to lift up my shirt. I had tried to stop his hand but he easily moved my hand to the side and in one quick motion he pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it on the floor.
I quickly pulled away and instinctively covered myself with my hands, I was wearing a bra but Jake had never seen me without my shirt before, it startled me.
He looked at me trying to cover myself and chuckled. "Cassie, what are you doing? It's me, you don't need to cover yourself."
"I know," I said, feeling a little embarrassed, he was my boyfriend and we were both seventeen, there was no reason for me to be shy. "Jake, I don't think that this is a good idea. We shouldn't be doing this right now. I don't know if I want to do this right now."
"Oh come on, Cassie." He said, smiling as he started to pull up his own shirt. "You sure?"
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If you're reading this then thanks for reading until the end. Please review, comment, or message me if you have any thoughts or ideas. I take all constructive criticism.
If you haven't seen it I recently uploaded a one-shot about Marco insulting Jake, to be warned it it rated M for adult language, themes and sexual content. So if you're interested then please go read it and review. It's titled: "Marco's Joke Backfires and Reveals A Secret"
