Chapter 31: Cassie: The Night In The Loft
Oh god, I thought as I watched Jake ever so slowly pull of his shirt, seductively almost. I couldn't help but stare, he wasn't Arnold Schwarzenegger muscular but he did have a very nice six-pack. He stood there shirtless, smiling at me.
"See," He said, tossing his shirt on top of mine. "Now we're even."
I smiled as I put my arms down. "We're really not, it's not exactly the same. I've seen you without a shirt before."
"You got that right," He said as he wrapped his arms around me once again, placing his hand on the back of my bra, preparing to take it off. "Here, let's fix that."
"You really want to do this here?" I asked, looking around the small storage room.
"We're where my dad performs surgery on the animals."
He smiled as he briefly kissed me. "We can go inside if you want, I saw that your dad's truck wasn't here."
"That's true but my mom still is, so there's no way we can go in the house, she'd kill you if she found out."
"She doesn't scare me." He said with a smile. "I'm me, I can stare down anyone as a tiger."
I let out a short laugh. "Yeah well, she's stared down the exact same tiger, as herself."
"True." He said, then he smiled again, still holding the back of my bra. "Come on, I have an idea where to go."
"And where's that?" I asked skeptically. "We exactly can't go to each others house."
"You trust me?" He asked, staring into my eyes. God, his eyes were filled with more light than I've seen since we started fighting this war, it's the first time I've seen his eyes alive, it was intoxicating.
I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Always."
"Then hang on."
"Hang on?" I asked, but before I could say another word he picked me off my feet and began to carry me through the door to the stairs that connected to the hayloft.
When we reached the top of the stairs he lightly tossed me onto the hay, smiling as he crawled over me and began to kiss me again.
We laid there kissing more passionately than we had ever before for what seemed like hours until he rolled me onto my side and quickly ripped of my bra.
I smiled a little embarrassed as he just stared at my chest, smiling. "Sorry if they're not as big as you thought." I said playfully.
Jake just smiled as he gently placed his hand on my breast, it sent my mind racing. "They're perfect." He said as he grabbed my other one as well. "You're perfect."
We laid there for what seemed like an eternity kissing as we began to remove each others clothing and began to feel each others bodies.
As Jake and I laid together longer he grew more aggressive and forceful, at first I didn't mind, I kind of liked it, but he started to hold my body down harder as he kissed me.
"Jake," I said trying to catch my breath. "Calm down a bit, you're holding me too tight." He just ignored me as he continued to grab my breast, squeezing it over and over.
"Jake," I said louder. "That hurts, stop."
He just continued squeezing my breast, so many thoughts were going through my mind, I was loving the feeling but he was starting to hurt me. Then the memory came back to my mind of the guy named Rico in the woods, Jake didn't know it but he was doing the same exact thing he did, he also had the same look on his face. That face that sent my mind into panic, that face that I saw in my nightmares, the same look that scared me more than anything.
I suddenly pushed Jake away as I without meaning to hit him across the face, just as I tried to hit Rico when he attacked me. I looked at Jake, his drunken eyes were filled with anger, before I could say anything he grabbed my wrists and held me down.
"What the hell?" His face red with anger.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," I started, trying to free my arms but Jake held me down. "It's just that you were hurting me, it was a reaction."
The anger left his face, good, I thought, I didn't want him mad with me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, again."
"It's okay, Jake." I said as I started to get up.
"Where are you going? We're not done, we haven't even done anything yet."
"Well I'm done, Jake. I can't do this anymore." I started to walk away but he grabbed my arm, hard, almost too hard, it hurt.
"Why? What did I do?" He asked angrily.
I turned to look at him. "You didn't do anything, Jake, what you did just reminded me of someone, it scared me."
"Reminded you of someone?" He asked, his voice raising. "Who the hell could I remind you of when we're making out?" I could tell that he was very angry. "What, do I remind you of someone else you made out with?"
I stood there looking at him, shocked.
"Who was it?" He asked, squeezing my wrist harder. "Tell me, who the hell was it?"
"That's not what I meant, Jake. I haven't made out with anyone before, you're the first."
"Then who the hell do I remind you of, why were you scared of me?" I could see the anger starting to disappear from his face.
I looked to him, tears starting to form around my eyes. As he saw this he calmed down. "Cassie, I'm sorry for getting mad, but tell me, what did I do that scared you, who did it?"
"It was one of David's guys." I said, trying not to cry. "When I got captured, one of his guys dropped me in the woods and I demorphed, so did he. He, he tried to rape me, Jake, he grabbed my breasts and squeezed them like you did, he had the same look on his face as you, and when I saw you like that I suddenly thought of him again, thinking that it was him again, not you. I'm sorry."
"Cassie," He said, pulling me in for a hug. "You don't need to apologize, I had no idea, I didn't know what I was doing. Why didn't you tell me that before?"
"I couldn't, you refused to talk to me." I said simply.
"I'm sorry about that," He said. Then he motioned for me to lay back down next to him. "I won't do it again, I swear."
"Sorry Jake, but I don't want to anymore, I can't get him out of my head."
"What do you mean?" His voice started to get a little upset and angry. "Come on, lay back down, I won't do it again."
"I mean that I'm done, Jake. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm sorry, but I can't. You, you should leave, this was a bad idea, we decided that we shouldn't do this for a reason, we all agreed."
His face grew furious. "What do you mean, leave?" He asked, pulling me to him. "We're not done yet."
"Yes, we are. You need to leave, Jake, you're drunk. I don't want you here anymore."
"I'm not drunk." He said angrily. "I'm perfectly fine."
"No, you're drunk. Jake, I can still taste and smell the liquor on your breath."
"Whatever." He said. "But we're not done here, lay back down."
"No Jake." He squeezed my wrist so hard it felt like it was going to snap in two.
"Let go of me, Jake, you're hurting me."
He ignored me as he started to pull me back onto the hay bale.
"Jake!" I yelled at him. I hoped to god that my mom hadn't somehow heard me and came to see what was going on. "Stop. You're hurting me. You need to leave."
"I'm not going anywhere." He said, and in one hard yank he pulled me back onto the hay bale. Continuing to kiss me.
"Jake!" I yelled as I broke away from him. "Stop, I told you no."
"You don't mean that, Cassie, you know it."
"No, I do mean it, I want you to let me go."
Jake flipped me onto my back as he held my wrists, holding me down. I tried to push him off but he was much larger and stronger than me, there was no way I'd be able to make him get off me. My mind jumped back to the guy in the woods, thinking that it was happening all over again, and this time no one was here to save me.
Jake stopped kissing me briefly as he started to put himself inside me for the first time. My mind seemed to explode, so many feelings were going on inside my head all at once. It felt so amazing, but also terrifying at the same time. A part of my mind wanted to stop struggling and to let myself give in to the feeling but the other wanted to get away from Jake because he was forcing me to do this, I had told him to stop.
I laid there for awhile, my mind racing, trying to decide what to do, to let go and do this with Jake or to make him stop. I knew that he was drunk, but he'd never hurt me, we both knew deep down that we've wanted to do this for months now, but I didn't know.
After a minute I stopped trying to fight him, giving in to what was happening. I knew that I wanted to be with him as well, so I just stopped trying to push him off me and let myself enjoy what was happening.
