Technically, this is the last chapter but considering there is an Epilogue that is coming after this one, I'll save all the thanks and the fine details until then (which should be uploaded pretty soon - hopefully tomorrow or the day after). Now this chapter encompasses the last show of the third season and I know it skips around a little bit and it is kinda depressing in the beginning, but I promise you guys, the ending more than makes up for it :)
HaloHunter89 - Your going to love this chapter. That is all. :)
"Against the wind
We were runnin' against the wind
We were young and strong, we were runnin'
Against the wind
And the years rolled slowly past
And I found myself alone
Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends
I found myself further and further from my home
And I guess I lost my way . . ."
- "Against the Wind" by Bob Segar
"Hey, what are you looking at?"
Carl jumped and turned his eyes up from the picture he had in his hand and the brown paper bag that was sitting in-between his parted legs, only to see Tessa standing in the entrance to his cell and leaning on it with her shoulder. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest and she had a look of curiosity on her face as Carl gave a shrug and gestured to her with the picture.
"Nothing just . . ." He heaved a sigh. "Here . . ." He held the picture out to her and Tessa gave him a small smile as she took it from him and then took a seat beside him on the bunk. She immediately felt tears prickle in her eyes but she easily blinked them back as she gazed down at the picture of Carl, Rick and Lori in happier days. She shook her head and gave a weak smile.
"It . . . it's so hard to believe she's gone some days, you know?" She told him, her voice quiet and thoughtful and he nodded. "Sometimes, when I'm doing laundry with Carol or helping Maggie and Beth with the food, I . . . I halfway expect to look up and see her standing there helping out, you know?" She glanced at him and Carl nodded.
"Yeah, I know what you mean." He told her before he turned his gaze up onto her. "You were her best friend, you know that, right? I think . . . I think ever, too – even before all this happened." She gave a laugh and a chuckle as she took one last quick scan of the picture before handing it back to him.
"Well I don't know about that, Carl, but we did become pretty close, I know that much." She told him and watched as he put the picture into the brown paper bag with the rest of his stuff before stuffing that into an opened duffel sitting on his other side on the bunk. Everyone was packing up their things in anticipation of the attack, and they had been doing so all morning. She had just finished packing up her and Daryl's things before moving on to help Wren and Beth pack up the baby's stuff while Ethan packed up his things before moving on to help Rick and Daryl do whatever left that needed doing. No one had checked in to make sure Carl was alright, so Tessa figured she mineaswell do it.
"How are you doing, sweetie?" She asked him and he gave a shrug.
"Nervous. Angry . . . disappointed." He replied to her, his voice terse and she nodded.
"We all are nervous and I can see why you're angry and disappointed. But I meant otherwise."
His movements slowed then and when he turned his eyes onto her, he saw concern flickering through her eyes and he swallowed hard and looked away. "Why do you worry about me so much, Tess? You know you don't have to and I know you must have more important things to do." He told her and she heaved a sigh.
"Well, part of it is because you need to be looked after, you know? I mean, yeah, your Ethan and Wren's age and you can take care of yourself but everyone needs to know that someone is watching over them. And Hell, since I'm already practically looking over every kid here, I mineaswell take on one more, you know?" She told him with a smile and he nodded.
"And . . .?"
She gazed at him for a moment before giving him a weak, small smile. "That and I promised your mother that I would if anything happened to her. I promised her that I'd look after you and Judith, and what am I doing?" She gave him a loving smile as she wrapped her arm around his shoulders. "I'm looking after you! And if you don't like that, then I can gladly resurrect your mother and she can talk some sense into you!"
Carl couldn't help but let out a smile and a weak laugh at that, a smile that Tessa readily returned. They sat there in silence for a minute before Carl spoke and when he did, his voice was sad and slightly tearful. "You know, towards the end, I didn't really look at her as a mom, you know – not like I did you." He confessed with a gaze up towards her. "I mean . . . you were easier to talk to, you-you wouldn't fly off the handle at every little thing, you treated me like I was an adult and not a child . . . dad seemed to look to you more . . ." He shrugged and when tears appeared in his eyes then, her arm around him tightened. "And when she was lying there and I knew she was going to die, I . . . it occurred to me that this was my mom, Tess! That my mom was about to die and I don't . . ." He shook his head and sniffed as he quickly wiped away his eyes before she could see the tears that threatened to run down his cheeks. "I don't know how I could have treated her the way I did!" Tessa gave him a comforting smile as she drew him into her arms then, knowing he wasn't about to cry but knowing that he needed a hug, nonetheless.
"Lori loved you, Carl, don't ever doubt that! I should know – she told me that often!" She told him with a laugh and Carl shook his head as he pushed away from her, his eyes defiant now as they held hers.
"Then why didn't she tell me, Tess? Why did she wait until the last minute, huh?"
Tessa slowly shook her head and gave a shrug as her hands moved down to grip his shoulders. "Sometimes . . . sometimes, the things we need to say to people, we often forget to say until the last minute because we think we have all the time in the world to say them," She told him, her voice slow as she carefully picked her words. "It's selfish and it's horrible but . . . at least she told you. At least she didn't die without letting you know that she loved you."
Carl gazed at her for a minute, allowing her words to sink in, before he nodded. "Yeah . . . yeah, I guess you're right. I didn't think of it that way . . ." He told her and Tessa nodded and gave him a comforting smile before she smoothed his hair out of the way and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead.
"That's from Lori." She told him, her tone quiet and loving and he gave her a tight, somewhat tearful smile as they got to their feet then, Tessa reaching up onto the top bunk to grab his hat as he slung his duffel over his shoulder and grabbed up his rifle lying on the bunk behind where they had been sitting. He turned to her and she placed the hat on his head before smiling. "I'm here for you, Carl, just like I'm here for everyone else. If you need anything, don't feel ashamed to come to me, you understand?"
He nodded then and returned her smile. "I know, Tess. That's why you're Momma Bear – you care for all your cubs, even the grown ones who don't think they need caring for." He gave a slightly sheepish smile then. "And that's why Daryl's so lucky to have you."
Tessa grinned and laughed as she pulled him into a tight hug. "Yeah, okay, Romeo, but don't tell him that. I think all that shit is starting to go to his head!" Carl gave a laugh as she wrapped an arm around him and steered him towards the cell door leading to the common room. "Now come on, lets go put your stuff in the car . . ."
"Hey, Rick, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Rick turned away from the car with the opened hood in front of him when the voice came behind him, only to purse his lips when he saw the voice belonged to Tessa (who else could it have belonged to?) He waited as she quickly crossed the distance between them before closing the hood of the car and turning back to her. "What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be with Daryl or the babies?" He asked her and her jaw hardened slightly as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
"This is more important than that, Rick – its about Carl. Quite frankly, I'm worried about him." She told him and he gave a shrug.
"He's still a kid, Tess. Sometimes it's easy to forget that." He told her as he moved to push past her but she stopped him by reaching out and latching onto his forearm. He turned his gaze down onto her, only to see a fierce, determined gaze looking back up at him.
"Sooner or later, you're going to have to take an interest in your son, Rick – you're going to have to ask how he's doing and then hear him out, through whatever he says!" She hissed to him through tightly gritted teeth before she shook her head. "I love him to death, you know I do – I love him because he's Lori's and yours and that makes him like my nephew, but for the love of God, Daryl already has three children to look after and hear out - he doesn't need you to abandon your job as a father! He also already has his hands on enough reins right now – he definitely doesn't need those too!" Rick rolled his eyes at her words.
"Sorry Tess, if we can't all be natural born fathers like Daryl is!"
"This isn't about Daryl, Rick, and this isn't about whatever the fuck happened between us that has caused you to treat me like shit lately, so please, don't go there!" She snapped at him, her anger growing the longer she stood there and talked with him. "This is about you growing up and becoming a father to your son again! Because I'm going to be damned if I stand around and watch you do the same Goddamn thing to him that Lori did!" She took a deep breath then and forced herself to calm down before she let it out and continued: "He has already lost a mother, Rick – a mother that he had no idea loved him until the moment she died. I don't want that to happen again to him with you."
He gazed at her for a moment before his lips pursed again. "Your man is over by his bike – go see if he needs anything, will you? I want to get this show on the road as fast as we can so we can get this over with as fast as we can." He let out a snort of derision then. "And please, hold the fireworks between you two until this over, can you?"
He turned around and walked off then, leaving a stunned Tessa still standing there. "Wait, so that has been what's been bothering you? That is why you no longer ask for my advice and why you've been ignoring me lately?" She asked him before she shook her head. "Rick, it has nothing to do with you – it's not my fault that I don't feel the same way for you that I do for Daryl! That kiss . . ." She shook her head and let out a slightly incredulous laugh. "That kiss was a mistake -!"
"Yeah, well, maybe to you it was!" He interrupted her with a hiss as he turned around and moved over to her, his eyes angry. She recoiled slightly, her eyes growing wide. So that really was what this whole thing was about. He shook his head, trying so hard to keep his anger under control. "Please, Tess, go make sure Daryl doesn't need anything, won't you? And let me be to handle this -"
"He apologized to you, Rick -!"
"Yeah, after he waltzes back in after leaving you, only for you to accept him back with open arms and after he fucks you stupid in the other cellblock! Talk about rubbing salt in the fucking wound!"
Tessa's mouth immediately fell open in unadulterated shock at his words as he spun around on his heels and marched off, his anger rolling off him in waves. She stood there for a moment longer before slowly turning around and moving over to the bike that Daryl was sitting beside, signature worn red rag in his hand and box of tools sitting opened beside him.
"Well that went well!" She muttered bitterly as she joined him and he glanced up at her as he wiped his hands off on the rag in his lap.
"What went well?"
Tessa shook her head as she extended her hand to him and helped him to his feet. "I'm worried about Carl and so I went to go talk to Rick about it, thinking we could talk about it like adults, but apparently not." Daryl tensed.
"Anythin' happen?" She shook her head.
"No, but apparently I'm still on 'probation' with him." She told him sarcastically, doing the little quotation mark hand gesture with the word, 'probation', as she spoke. Daryl grinned and gave a laugh at that as he absentmindedly rubbed at an oil stain on one of his fingers with the rag before shoving it into his back pocket. He then bent down and grabbed up his poncho, quiver of bolts and then finally, his bag.
"Give him a while, won' ya, babydoll? He'll get over whatever funk he's in, I guarantee it, especially after we 'ave this whole shizzard sorted out."
Tessa nodded as she drew her bottom lip in-between her teeth. "They'll be coming soon . . ." She spoke and Daryl nodded.
"Yeah . . . yeah they will. But we'll be waitin' for 'em. And we'll be ready." He told her before he gave her a smile and stepped closer to her, where he pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of her mouth. He felt her hand curl into the arm of his leather jacket and hold him close as he spoke. "This is our home, Tess. This is where our son and our daughter will grow big and strong – where Wren and Ethan will make us grandparents and eventually Danny and Aayla will too," He gave a dry, humorless laugh then. "And I'll be damned if I stand by and let someone kick us out of it when we got that kind of future together here!"
As some of the others stayed behind to cover the retreat of the people from Woodbury, Tess found herself in the fringes of the woods with Carl, Hershel, Beth, Wren and the babies. She kneeled beside Carl, feeling the anxiousness in his body and glanced at him when he mentioned that they should be there.
She was even there when they came upon the boy in the woods, when he immediately dropped his weapon when he saw there were three already on him: Carl's, Hershel's and Beth's, and when Hershel told him to drop it. He was slowly handing it to Tessa and she was in the middle of taking it when there was a muffled pop and the kid hit the floor.
Immediately her eyes flew onto Carl, wide with shock, as was everyone else's and the coldness and brutality that she saw shining in the boy's eyes was such a stark contrast from the kid she had been talking to earlier, than it made her heart pound in her chest.
"Carl . . . Carl, give me the gun . . ." Tessa murmured soothingly, her eyes flickering on Hershel's over his head and he glanced at her before swallowing hard and nodding. He handed her the gun and she gave him a wavering smile as her hand wrapped around the smooth hilt. It was still warm and slightly clammy from the grip he had on it and she looked towards the others as she bent down and picked up the shotgun that the kid had dropped upon being shot. She picked it up before Carl could and gave a nod as her eyes settled on each and every other person there. "Let's . . . let's go back to the prison and regroup, okay? See if the others are alright."
Everyone nodded and immediately made their way back to the vehicle they had used to get there, Beth taking the shotgun from her. Tessa's eyes fell onto Carl then and she swallowed hard as the boy kept his eyes pinned onto the now dead body lying before him. Eventually, Tessa heaved a sigh and after wrapping an arm around his shoulders, steered him back towards the car and the others.
Oh yeah, she would have to have a serious talk with Rick.
"Hey, ya guys alright?"
Tessa nodded as she and Wren filed in behind the others, their arms full of Danny and Aayla respectively. Daryl's gentle voice met her ears as he moved to join them, his hand ghosting over Danny's head before he pressed a kiss to his forehead before doing the same with Aayla and Wren. Tessa gave Ethan a relieved smile as she hugged him to her briefly before separating in order to be taken into Daryl's arms as well. Danny gave a sound of protest from being squished between them and they readily parted, although Daryl's hand lingered on the back of her arm. "What happened?" He asked, his voice low and Tessa swallowed hard and shook her head.
"Daryl, its Carl, I don't -"
She was interrupted by seeing Rick bending down and pulling him into his arms in a hug, out of the corner of her eye. They turned around to face them when Carl announced to his father that he was going with them to Woodbury and Rick closed his eyes and shook his head. Hershel was standing nearby and Tessa murmured for Daryl to take Danny before she gently moved past them to join them.
"Carl -!"
"Dad, I did my job out there!" He told him with a shake of his head and Tessa could see from Hershel stiffening beside her, that he was having the same feeling of dread skate down his spine as well. "Just like all of you. I took out one of the Governor's soldiers."
"One of his soldiers? That kid was running away. He stumbled upon us." Hershel spoke up and Rick and Carl both turned their eyes onto Hershel and Tessa as Tessa shook her head.
"Carl, honey, you gunned down a surrendering man." She told him, her voice gentle and slightly wavering. "I should know – I was about to take his gun." She told Rick before glancing back at Daryl, only to see him quickly hand Danny over to Carol before hurriedly moving to join them as well.
"No, Tess, he drew on us!" Carl told her confidently and Tessa's eyes became pleading as she turned them onto Rick. Daryl had crossed the distance between them by then, and his hand moved to rest on the small of her back.
"Look, I'm sorry you had to do that," Rick told him and Carl closed his eyes and shook his head.
"That's what I was there for, wasn't it? I'm going with you." He told him before he moved off, Hershel and Tessa stepping closer to him as he did so.
"Rick, listen to me – you have to!" Tessa told him as she moved to stand in front of him, garnering his complete and undivided attention. He saw the fear in her eyes as she shook his head. "That kid was scared, Rick! He was handing his gun to me – I was inches from taking it!" Rick shook his head as he looked from her to Hershel and back again.
"He said he drew."
Hershel shook his head as Rick's jaw hardened and Tessa felt Daryl bring her comfortingly into his side. She was still shaken and he could feel it. "Don't you see what I mean now, Rick?" She asked him, her eyes still wide and pleading and his jaw hardened.
"Carl said it was in defense . . ." He spoke and Hershel shook his head again.
"I was there, Rick – me and Tess both were! He didn't have to shoot! He had every reason not to -!"
"Maybe it looked like that to you -!"
"Rick!" Hershel interrupted him loudly, his voice brooking no argument, and Rick promptly shut up as Tessa moved herself deeper into Daryl's arms. Hershel glanced at her before lowering his voice while still keeping it firm. "I'm telling you, Rick, he gunned that boy down in cold blood."
Rick's eyes fell onto Tessa then as Hershel moved off and he swallowed hard as he turned to face her. "You okay?" He asked and she nodded as her fingers found the comforting smoothness of the two necklaces that hung from her neck.
"Yeah . . . shaken, but I'm alright." Rick nodded and he locked gazes with Daryl for a minute before moving off as well. Daryl's arm tightened around her waist.
"Was tha' what this mornin' was 'bout?" He asked her, his voice hard and she nodded.
"Yeah . . . but I think he got the picture."
Needless to say, she wasn't shocked to see Rick talking with Carl before him and the rest left for Woodbury later that afternoon, although a fat lot of help it did, she could tell.
"Daryl, you be careful!"
"Don' worry, babydoll, I will."
"You come back to me, you understand? I can't lose you, not now! And you bring my son back too, or so help me -!"
Tessa sucked in a harsh breath when Daryl looping an arm around her waist and pressing his lips hard to hers, successfully interrupted her. Her hands landed on his shoulders and she squeezed them as he kissed her with what felt like every ounce of ardor in his body. And when they broke apart, their breathing tore harsh and ragged from their lungs and he pulled her into a tight hug.
"Don' worry, babydoll, I don' aim to die today. I 'ave a present for ya tha' I 'ave every intention on givin' to ya when I get back!"
"How did it go?" Tessa asked when they had everyone from Woodbury off of the buses and had finished getting them situated in the various cellblocks. Rick shook his head as he placed his hands on his hips, giving a sniff as he did so. She could see the red around his eyes and knew that he had been crying. If not that, then a couple of tears at the max had fallen.
"Andrea . . . Andrea's dead." He told her and immediately, she felt the prickle of tears in her eyes.
"How did . . ."
"She was bit." Daryl told her, gently, and she stood there, feeling her heart grow heavier and heavier in her chest, before she let out a sarcastic little laugh.
"Could today get any shittier?" She asked, and Daryl let out a laugh as he shook his head and moved closer to her.
"I don' know 'bout tha', but I do know tha' I can make it better." He told her and as she turned a curious look onto him, he gave a half-defeated shrug. "I mean, it also seems as good time than any, I guess . . . with how today has gone, we can fuck romanticism, I guess . . ."
It was then that he bent down on one knee in front of her while fishing around for something in his back pocket. Tessa's eyes immediately grew wide with shock, her tears drying up, as well as Maggie, Carol's and everyone else's there. Maggie, Beth and Wren had looks of excitement and happiness on their faces for the first time in days as it occurred to everyone what Daryl was doing, whereas Michonne had her regularly expressionless look on her face (although Tessa could swear she saw a glint of amusement flickering in her eyes). Rick and Carol, however . . . they were wearing expressionless looks as well, although theirs carried an underlying emotion that neither Daryl nor Tessa wanted to take the time to decipher at that moment. Ethan, who was standing beside Wren, simply had a huge grin plastered across his face.
When Daryl managed to fish the tiny ring out of his back pocket and brought it up into view, he gave a shrug as he did so. "I, uh . . . I'm startin' to get tired not seein' it on ya finger." He told her and she found her hands shaking as she reached out and took a gentle hold of it. The look of shock on her face deepened when she saw the shining gold band and the three tiny diamonds set in the middle . . . why did it look so familiar?
Her heart gave a jump when she turned it over and saw – barely – the words 'Two Running Against the Wind' inscribed in weathered, swirling cursive on the inside. She shook her head, unable to tear her eyes away from the shimmering lettering.
"Oh my God Daryl, you've kept it all this time - through all of this?" She breathed out in wonder and he gave another shrug as he peered up at her.
"Never could sell it, ya know? I could never bring myself to. Always thought tha' . . . we'd be together again . . . seems like I had been right."
Tessa slowly shook her head as she continued gazing down at the ring, slowly turning the band over-and-over again in order to see the five tiny, barely-there words. "We were young and strong and we were running against the wind . . ." She murmured, the Bob Segar lyrics immediately popping into her head and Daryl gave a small smile as tears appeared in her eyes again, however, this time, they were tears of happiness. The song had seemed to be their own little personal theme song back when they were growing up together, to the point to where Daryl had the all-too-true words inscribed on the inside of their wedding and engagement bands.
"Well, Tess, we ain' so young anymore, but . . ." He nodded and gave another shrug. "I'd say we're still pretty damn strong and we're still runnin' against the wind, so yeah. And also, I've, uh . . . I've come to tha pretty firm conclusion tha' I don't want to hear anyone call ya 'Mrs. Dixon' unless ya really are 'Mrs. Dixon'."
He got to his feet then and stepped closer to her, where his hands curled gently around her elbows. "We're not broken, Tess, and we ain' never gonna be broken. Tha' thirteen year time period where we didn' see neither hide nor hair of tha other – tha' wasn't ya leavin' me - that was jus' a brief separation in our relationship!" He pressed his lips to her hairline then, and she stepped closer to where he wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, her hand curling around the ring in-between them as a tear fell from her eye. "Let's do what we never had tha chance to do when we were younger – what Merle took away from us! Marry me, Tessa Nightrun and be completely and irrevocably mine!"
She gave a laugh then when he moved slowly away from her. She knew the answer before he did – she had known the answer since the day she kissed him for the first time at his graduation ceremony. She knew from the day they were reunited back at the quarry so long ago – when they were on the farm and she found herself pregnant with his son and daughter and when she labored for two hours to give their two amazingly beautiful - alive - children life.
She nodded as she threw her arms around him and kissed him, her lips sealing over his with a love and a passion that he couldn't help but grin against as he wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up, where he swung her around. They broke apart and she tearfully nodded as she lovingly ran her fingers down his cheek.
"It's about time you asked me again, you bastard!"
