Chapter 33: Cassie: The Morning After

I suddenly woke up, my mind fuzzy. I looked around me to see that I was in the hayloft.

"Ugh, my head. Jake?" I asked aloud. "Jake, you awake?" I looked next to me to find that he wasn't there. Had he seriously left without saying anything? He didn't even bother to wake me up. I quickly grabbed my clothes and looked out the barn door, my mom's car was gone, good, I thought. I don't need her to know what happened last night. I glanced at the clock on the wall, I silently cursed myself under my breath. I was late for school, it started over an hour ago. My math teacher is gonna kill me, we have a huge test today that I'm going to miss by the time I get there. On the other side of the room I saw Jake's hoodie that he wore last night, why did he leave it? I asked myself. I picked it up and held it up. Jake, I thought, what did we do? My mind was all jumbled with everything that had happened. Jake and I slept together, when he was drunk and after we had kind of broken up, jeez, what am I supposed to do? Should I try calling him? Should I go over and talk to him? I thought about it for awhile but I eventually decided that I should give him some space, he probably feels terrible about being drunk and all.

I went inside and took a long shower, trying to wash all the sweat and everything off my body. I sat in the tub for a half an hour thinking about Jake and what he did. I didn't know how to feel, I know that I told him no but I wanted to and he was drunk, so was it really his fault? I know that he'd never do that normally, he only acted like that because he was drunk.

I looked down to my wrists to see that they were red and bruised. Perfect, I thought, don't these look suspicious. I got out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror, when I did I nearly jumped up and screamed. My entire neck and chest were covered in very noticeable, very large hickies. "Even more perfect," I said aloud to myself. There's no way anyone would not guess what these were, if my mom saw these when she got home she'd kill me, then most likely Jake as well. I could always morph and they'd be gone like that but I had this uneasy feeling about it. Like something in the back of my mind was telling me not to morph. I also wasn't feeling so well so I decided not to morph.

I got dressed, trying to find something that would cover my neck. I didn't own a scarf and my coat would be too bulky and hot to wear all day. Then from the corner of my eye I saw Jake's hoodie hanging off the side of my bed where I left it. I quickly threw it on and walked back to the mirror. It was way too big on me, Jake was much larger than me, I only came up to his chin. The sleeves were too long for my arms to fit through them and it went halfway down to my knees, but since it was so large it did cover my neck pretty well. As long as I kept an eye on it and didn't move too much nobody should be able to see them.

***(Later that Morning)***

I got to school just before lunch, great, I missed half the day. Hopefully the school won't call my mom since I missed so many classes. I walked through the front door right past a security guard, luckily it was lunch time and kids were going and leaving, so no one noticed me coming in late. I hurried to the cafeteria and sneaked to the back of the room trying to avoid being noticed by anyone I knew. I didn't want anyone asking why I was covering my neck and wrists, especially Rachel, she'd totally flip if she heard that I slept with Jake last night. She might actually try to kill him, she told me once that if Jake ever laid a single finger on me she'd shove his head so far up his, you know. Plus, I didn't even know how I felt about what happened enough to know how I'd tell someone about it.

I sat in the back of the room trying to not look suspicious, but that was completely impossible, every teacher and student looked at me confused as they walked by. Which I understand, because I definitely looked strange, I had my arms folded and my hands in my sleeves as I had my hood and collar propped up on my neck so no one could see the hickies and figure out what they were.

I was pushing the food around on my tray when guess who notices me from the other side of the room and calls to me, Rachel. That's who. My disguise didn't fool her for a second. She walked over to me, the whole time her eyes studied me, trying to figure out why I looked the way I did.

"Cassie?" She asked as she sat across from me. "What are you doing? You look like a druggy, hiding in your hoodie and glancing around like that."

"I just don't feel good, I'm probably getting sick." I said lamely, trying to come up with an excuse quickly.

"Well you look weird, even more than usual I mean." She said with a smile.

"What's up with the hoodie? Isn't that Jake's, why are you wearing it?"

My eyes widened, of course she recognized his hoodie. "It was the only one I had."

"Oh," She said, seeming to believe me, I mean it was true that it was the only one I had but hopefully she didn't ask anything else about it. "Did he let you borrow it? Did you see him today?"

Of course she'd ask that, I thought. "No." I said, trying to sound calm as my mind was freaking out, hoping that she wouldn't hear my heart pounding. "He left it at my house the last time he was there. I haven't seen him in weeks." I hated lying to Rachel like this but I had no choice.

"So why are you wearing it then? I know that it's cute and all for girls to wear their boyfriend's hoodies but you told me that he dumped you in the hospital, isn't that right?"

"He did, but I still thi-" Rachel cut me off.

"That idiot doesn't know what he's doing, first he quits the team then he dumps you, I can't believe that. After all the time it took him to grow the balls to tell you how he felt and now he broke up with you. I don't get guys sometimes."

"Yeah, but I still thi-" Rachel cut me off again.

"Cassie, I just don't want him to hurt you again if he never comes back. I mean, I'd be as happy as anyone if he came back but it's been two months, and he hasn't done a single thing to try and come back to us. I know that he took Tom's death hard, I mean, he's my cousin, my mom still cries about him whenever she sees something that reminds her of him, but Jake is taking it too personally. It wasn't his fault, he should know that. Look Cassie," She said as she lowered her voice. "I just don't think that you should waste your life waiting for him to come back, because it's very likely that he never will. And besides, if he ever does come back you know as well as I do that he won't be the same. I heard from his parents that he's started drinking, like almost religiously. They can't get him to stop." She paused for a second before starting again.

"You know what I mean, right? You're my best friend, and I don't want to see you hurt by him again. Both emotionally and physically, he freaking backhanded you at the hospital because he lost it for a second. Can you even imagine what he could do if he really lost it, I mean for real? He could snap and end of morphing tiger, if that were to happen he wouldn't stop at just hitting you, he could literally kill you, Cassie. If he were to ever hurt you I'd take him down myself, you know that, right?"

"Gee, thanks, Rachel." I said sarcastically. "You really know how to make me feel better."

Rachel didn't look happy. "I'm being serious here, Cassie. Jake might be my cousin and my so-called leader but if he ever loses it and hurts you again, I'll take him down, hard."

I was trying to act all calm and collected in front of Rachel but I was a ball of nerves. Without thinking about it I kept rubbing my wrists over and over as we talked, and of course Rachel noticed right away.

In the blink of an eye Rachel grabbed my wrist and brought it to her face. "What the hell is up with your wrist?" Then her eyes grew to cover her face. "Is that a bruise? Did someone bruise your wrist? Who the hell hurt you?"

"It was nobody, Rachel." I said as I pulled my wrist back. I was panicking trying to come up with a good excuse. "It was just one of our horses, I was brushing it this morning and it pressed my wrist against the stall with it's body. Don't worry about it, I'm fine." Now I know that my excuse was lame but it was all I could think of, and it might actually work because that had happened before.

Rachel looked at me, I could tell that she was skeptical but she didn't know what I was hiding yet. "Whatever you say, Cassie."

"I'm not lying, Rachel, that's what happened."

"Sure it is, then you shouldn't mind showing me your other wrist, would you?" Rachel looked at me, she knew that I was lying and that she had me. There was no point in lying, she knew it.

"Fine." I said as I showed her my other wrist. "Here, look, you happy now?"

Rachel inspected my wrist, clearly not happy that I had lied to her. Then her face grew red. "Cassie." She started with a low voice. "I'm not stupid, I can see that these were made from someone's hands. Tell me, Cassie, tell me who hurt you."

"No one hurt me, I'm fine." I said as I rubbed my neck and accidentally showed her my neck.

"What the hell?" She nearly yelled and jumped out of her seat, several students and teachers looked over to what was going on. "Are you fucking kidding me, Cassie? Are those really hick-" Before she could say another word I cut her off.

"Please, Rachel, at least try to keep your voice down, the whole school doesn't need to know."

"So you mean that they are actually," She stopped herself and lowered her voice. "They're actually hickies?" Her voice a mixture of shock and anger.

I looked at her, head in my hands. "Yeah, they are." I said reluctantly.

"Then those bruises on your wrists are from,..." Her eyes widened and the anger on her face was replaced by shock.

I silently nodded my head.

"Oh my god." Her face lighting up. "It's about time, Cassie, you know that. Good for you."

It was my turn to be shocked. "About time?" I asked. "You mean that you're happy about this?"

"Of course, you are my best friend after all. What, how did you think I'd react?"

"I, uh, thought you'd be furious." I said sheepishly. "I'd thought you'd try to kill him, honestly."

"Furious? Try to kill him? Why would I do that? Wait," She paused and stared at me. I was worried that she suspected that it was Jake. "Don't tell me," She paused again. This was killing me. "It wasn't Marco was it? Because if it was I really will kill him."

I was shocked, did she really not suspect Jake? It's true that we did break up and that we hadn't seen each other for a few weeks before last night but who else would it be?

Rachel looked at me, questioningly. "It wasn't Marco, right?" I could hear the worry in her voice.

"Of course not." I said quickly. I heard Rachel breath a sigh of relief.

"Good. Okay then. Here's the million dollar question, who was it? Was it that cute guy from science class that sits behind us? Because I knew that he kept staring at you, but you didn't believe me. So tell me, was it him?"

"You mean Brian?" I asked, confused.

"Of course I mean Brian, what other cute guys sit behind us? So was it him?"

I looked down, trying to decide how much I should tell her, she's my best friend and I hate lying to her like this but I'm really worried about what she'd say and do if I told her that it was Jake.

"Oh come on, Cassie, you gotta tell me." Rachel kept pressing for information. "Okay then, do I know this guy?"

"Yeah, you do." I said reluctantly.

"Is he cute?" She asked as she stared at me, as if this conversation was the most interesting thing ever.

"Rachel-" I started but she quickly cut me off.

"Come on, Cassie, just tell me, what's the problem? Do you not trust me or something?"

"It's not that, Rachel."

"Then what is it?" She asked.

"It's just that I don't know how you'd react when you heard who it was."

"What does that mean? Is this guy like twentyfive or something?" The smile left her face. "He better not be."

"He's seventeen, like us."

"Okay, but just tell me who it was already."

Rachel studied my every movement, she knew that I didn't want to talk about this and that I was nervous about it. I was still considering whether or not I should tell her or not when her eyes widened to cover her face and her mouth dropped open.

"Don't tell me, Cassie." She paused and leaned in. "It was Jake, wasn't it?"

Without thinking I answered her. "How'd you know?" I asked, then when I realized that I had just said that I covered my mouth.

"Are you serious, Cassie? What were you thinking?" Rachel's voice rose and more heads turned around.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her hand and pulled her outside and away from curious ears. "Can you please try to keep it down, Rachel?"

"Are you kidding me?" Her voice rose. "That's what you're worried about? Shouldn't you be worried about the fact that you just slept with Jake?"

"What?" I asked. "Weren't you just the one who said that she was happy for me and asked why you'd be mad?"

"Well that was before I knew that it was Jake. Cassie, what were you thinking? We haven't seen him in over two weeks and he breaks up with you before he backhands you, and you go and sleep with him?"

"Well I didn't plan to, it just sorta happened."

"So it was his idea then, and you just went along with it, after everything he's done to you?"

"I don't think he planned it either, I told you, it just sorta happened."

"What do you mean, it just sorta happened?"

"I mean that he was drunk, he didn't mean to-" I quickly shut my mouth, I didn't mean to say that he was drunk.

"He was what?" Rachel was almost yelling now. "And you just let a drunk Jake into your bed without a second thought?"

"I didn't let him into my bed exactly, I mean, my mom was home so we couldn't do it there."

"So where did you do it, the freaking forest?"

"No, it was in my barn, the hayloft."

"Are you serious?" Rachel asked, massaging her forehead with her hand. "The hayloft?"

"Yeah, I am."

"What happened? Tell me everything."

Rachel slowly began to calm down as I told her how Jake just showed up drunk and how we talked a bit and how we finally slept together, I left out the parts about how he held me down for a bit and chose my words carefully when I told her that he reminded me of that guy in the woods.

After I finished telling Rachel what happened we hurried to class and somehow I got through the rest of the day.