Chapter 34: Cassie: The Words Of A Loved One

I should have realized it sooner, when I first started waking up those first few days nauseous, having to rush to the bathroom to throw up. I should have put two and two together. Maybe I was just being paranoid, I thought, or maybe I was just refusing to let myself think that it was true. Now after the second week of waking up nauseous and throwing up I was sitting in my bathroom at home, with a box of pregnancy tests.

I ended up going through half the box before I finally let in and admitted to myself that I was pregnant.

It has been a little over a month since Jake and I had slept together. He hadn't talked to me since, not that I hadn't tried. For the first two weeks after I called him everyday, he never even picked up. I even tried to go talk to him in person, but he always refused to talk to me.

"Oh god, why is this happening to me? Why now of all times?" I asked aloud to my bathroom. The realization had finally set in, I just stared at the small test strip in my hand in awe. I was pregnant, I was seventeen and pregnant, I was fighting a secret war for Earth and I was pregnant.

How in the world would I explain this to my parents? Knowing my mom I won't be able to hide it for much longer, she'll figure it out as soon as I let anything slip. How would I tell the others? Rachel knew that Jake and I had slept together and she was not exactly happy about it, she's still upset with him for acting like this. How would I tell Jake, he's already going through so much right now, he's definitely not in a place to be raising a kid, he's depressed and quickly becoming an alcoholic. There's no way that he'd take this news well, if he even lets me talk to him to tell him, that is.

He has the right to know at least, I thought. I need to tell him, maybe if I tell him this then it'll be able to help shake him from this funk. While me being pregnant right now and under these circumstances is not a good thing, he's going to be a father, we're going to be parents. Maybe if I explain to him that I and his child need him it'll help him in some way.

"Cassie? You've been in there for a half an hour, are you okay?" It was my mom standing outside the door. Great, I was not ready for her to find out that I was pregnant yet, I think that I should tell Jake first.

"I'm okay, mom." I answered back a little too quickly. "I just think I have a stomach bug or something, I'm not feeling too well. Probably ate something bad at the mall with Rachel." I had somehow been able to hide the fact that I've thrown up nearly every morning for the past two weeks from my mom. "I'll be out in a sec."

"If you're not feeling well then I can take you to the doctor for a check up tomorrow since it's Saturday, I'll make you an appointment." I could hear her turning and beginning to walk down the hall to the phone.

"No, no, wait. I mean, I'm fine." The last thing I need now is to go to the doctor and have them tell my mom I'm pregnant before I have the chance to tell her. "Don't worry about it, I'm fine. It's probably just one of those twentyfour-hour bugs. I'll live."

"If you're sure that you'll be okay, just make sure that you get some rest tonight."

"I will, mom, and besides, I was going to see Jake tomorrow, try to cheer him up, you know."

"How is he doing?" I could hear the worry in her voice. "Last I heard he refused to talk to anyone."

"That's true, but I have an idea to get him out of his funk, I think that I might be the only one who can reach him, I have to try. I have something I need to tell him."

"That's good for you, honey. He needs someone there for him, even if he doesn't think that he does. Is it good news? I hope it is, he really needs something good in his life right now. What do you need to tell him?"

My eyes widened, like a deer in the headlights. It's a good thing that I was behind the door so that my mom didn't see my reaction.

"It's nothing too big," I lied. "I'll tell you after I see him tomorrow, see what you have to say about it."

"Cassie?" She asked.

"Yes?" I asked reluctantly.

"Is there something that happened between you and Jake? I ask this because you two have never had this problem before, it seems like he's trying to get rid of you. Did something happen?"

"Sorta," I said, trying to make sure that I didn't reveal anything yet. "At the hospital we kind of got in an argument, he said and did some things that he regrets, he's ashamed of himself in a way, that's why he doesn't want to talk to me."

"Well what did he say, hopefully it wasn't anything too bad. What did he do?"

"He uh, he lost his temper for a second and yelled at me."

"We all heard the yelling, Cassie, the whole hospital did. We also heard, something else." I could hear the concern in her voice. "Now, I had decided not to say anything about it because I thought that what was said between you two was your business, and that you were okay, but tell me, did he hit you? We all heard the sound of a slap."

"Yeah," I said reluctantly. "He did. He backhanded me."

"Honey, you should've told us. What happened between you two for him to hit you? We've known Jake for years, and he's never done anything like that before, he has never hurt you before."

"I know, mom, I should've told you, I just didn't want Jake to get in trouble. He had already gone through so much that day. It wasn't his fault, he was already getting upset and I got in his face about it, he, he warned me to get out of his face, but I gave him attitude back, he lost it for a second and hit me. He of course tried to apologize right after but I left before he had the chance."

"Oh honey," My mom said as I opened the door. As soon as I did she rushed to hug me. "I'm so sorry, I hope you know that he didn't mean to, you know that Jake would never hurt you."

"I know, mom."

My mom and I hugged for a bit until she finally let me go so that I could go to school. I headed out the door to the bus. I spent the entire day at school worrying and thinking about how I would tell Jake that I was pregnant. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't terrified beyond belief, I was so nervous about how he'd react, he's not exactly in the best state right now.

The day finally ended and I found myself heading over to Jake's house, somehow going to tell him the biggest news of our lives.

Xxxxx

I arrived at Jake's house more nervous than I've ever been. I hadn't been here in a few weeks, but it feels like much longer than that. Walking up to his door I mustered all the courage I had and knocked. After half a minute Jake's mom Jean answered, she looked a little shaken as she opened the door until she saw that it was me and her face lit up.

"Cassie," She said excitedly as she hugged me. "How are you? Are you here to talk to Jake?"

"I'm doing alright, Jean, life's been pretty crazy lately." I said as I returned the hug. "And yeah, I'm here to talk to Jake, there's something important that I need to tell him, is he here?"

She let go of me and had a concerned look on her face. "He's uh, here, physically at least, but his mind isn't, he doesn't talk anymore, he never does anything but eat, sleep and leave. Unfortunately he's asleep as far as I know, he stumbled in drunk off his mind at four this morning, he woke up the whole neighborhood, screaming at Homer like a madman."

She stopped for a few seconds as she gestured me in the door. "He doesn't let me or his father in his room, or anyone for that matter, but go ahead and go on in there, just knock before going in, you don't want to startle him when he's like this, believe me."

When she said this I began to think about how hard all of this must be on her and her husband. Their eldest son was killed at random, or so they believe, and their youngest son killed his killer and has in return died inside. Jake has never been one to talk about his emotions, it's like pulling teeth with him, but whenever he has a major problem he always talked to me, but now some of his problems are with me, so he won't talk to me about them.

I started heading for the stairs but Jean stopped me.

"Cassie, wait." I turned around to see her in tears.

"What's wrong, Jean?"

"Thank you, Cassie. Thank you."

"For what?" I asked, stepping back to her.

"For being there for Jake. For loving him. For…" She paused as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "For not giving up on him, his father and I, we…, couldn't do anything for him, we gave up on him." She started crying more and more. "We gave up on our son." I could hear the emotion in her voice, her guilt with herself for giving up on helping their son.

"Don't say that," I said as I hugged her again. "You didn't give up, you've done so much for him, he, he just can't be reached right now, but that's not your fault. It's not. That's why I need to talk to him, I need to show him that things can and will get better, and that there are always people there for him."

"Thank you Cassie, thank you so much. You have always been here for him, always. What did he ever do to deserve someone like you?"

Jake's mom let me go after a while and wished me luck talking to Jake. Walking up the stairs I felt all my nerves and worries disappear.

Xxxxx

I reached Jake's door and knocked with all the confidence I had. At first there was silence before I heard the sound of shuffling and groaning, I really had waken him up. From behind the door I heard a jumble of words and cursing.

"Jake, it's me, I'm coming in. We need to talk." I said boldly, I wanted him to know that I was being serious, he was not going to push me away today.

"Cassie?" His voice was a mix of surprise, guilt and sadness. "Hold on, don't come in, hold on." I heard the sound of bottles clanking and closet doors closing as he moved things.

After a few seconds the sounds stopped and the door opened.

"Cassie," He said, his eyes red, face pale and body shaking. "What are you doing here, I told you that I didn't want to see you anymore."

I examined him, he looked terrible, he had lost a lot of weight, he had never been overweight, just muscular and big, so it was an unhealthy amount of weight. His eyes were red and glazed over, most likely from some kind of drugs. His skin tone was paler than normal, he looked really sick, like he was deprived from sunlight. He wasn't happy to see me, that part was obvious enough, but I stood my ground and looked him in the eye.

"Yeah, well, there's something that I need to tell you, and you're going to listen, we need to talk, you owe me that much."

Now, saying that he was shocked would be an understatement, he just stood there, eyes wide, mouth open, surprised.

"Okay then, come on in." He said as he gestured me in the door.

Walking in my eyes scanned his room, I had been in here before, many times, for years actually, but I had never seen it like this. His desk was slammed against the wall, with one of the legs broken. His bed was a mess, covered with a dozen beer and alcohol bottles, candy wrappers and various bags of chips and snacks. I looked at the far wall, there were several holes and dents in it from objects being thrown at it. His window was covered by a very large black sheet, making the room very dark, also making it impossible for a hawk or osprey to look in.

I stopped in the middle of his room and waited as he slowly closed the door and walked past me to his desk, turning on his lamp. As he walked past me he stayed as far away from me as he could, almost bumping into his dresser.

"Can I sit?" I asked as I pointed to his bed next to me, gesturing at the jumble of bottles and bags.

"Oh, yeah." He said as he rushed over and cleared a spot for me to sit. "Sorry."

"It's not a problem, Jake. Here," I said as I patted next to me on the bed. "You're gonna wanna sit for this, believe me." I smiled to try to reassure him as he stood there. I knew that he wouldn't sit next to me but it was worth a shot.

He said nothing as he walked over to his desk, picked the cair off the floor and sat in it facing me.

I looked at him expecting for him to say something, but he never did. So I started talking.

"Jake I'm here to talk with you, so I'd really appreciate if you'd talk to me."

"Then what do you want to talk about?"

"I'm here to tell you, rather explicitly. That you need to get out of this funk of yours."

"Cassie, I sa-" He started but I quickly cut him off holding up my hand.

"Let me finish, Jake. Look, I've tried being nice, I've tried talking to you and being there for you but you've refused to listen. It's been almost four months since David captured us, since Tom and I died, Jake, it's time to let yourself grieve and accept that Tom's death was not your fault, nor mine for that matter. Jake, what happened was not your fault, none of us blame you, not Rachel, Marco, Tobias, Ax or I. Jake, you need to know that while you think that you killed me back there in that factory, you didn't, but you're killing me now. How you're acting is hurting me, Jake. You think that by keeping me out of your life is protecting me from getting hurt by you again but it's not, you're hurting me more now than you ever have. More from me dying by the hands of David to when you hit me in the hospital to when you held me down drunk, Jake, what you're doing now is destroying all the hope and love that I feel for you. I will always love you but if you refuse to show me that you love me back then I will leave. I won't always sit here and wait for you to come back, I know that you've gone through so much in this war but you need to know that we all have, and that we are all here for each other. Jake, the team needs you, I need you. We haven't attacked the Yeerks since David, Visser Three is growing bolder, he thinks that we either died or that the Andalite's gave up on Earth. We need our Fearless Leader again, we need you, Jake. We need you to help us fight the Yeerks again before they set up their new Kandrona next month. Jake, we need you."

"You don't need me, I'm no leader. What you guys needs is to elect a new leader. Try Tobias, he's sensible, strong headed and is cool under pressure."

"You're wrong, Jake, we need you again. You were a valuable part of our team, you just can't be replaced."

Jake sat silently as he stared at the wall. We had had this conversation many times before.

"Look, Jake." I started again after a few seconds of silence. "We can argue about that all we want but if you don't change there's no point in it. I didn't come here to argue with you anyway."

"Then why are you here?" He asked a little harshly.

"I'm here to tell you something, that something wonderful has happened, to try to help you feel like there is a reason to live again. A reason to hope and to love."

"And what's that?" He asked rather skeptically.

I looked at him in the eyes and took a deep breath as I mustered all my courage.

"Jake, I'm pregnant. You're going to be a father."

Jake's eyes widened and jaw dropped as he quickly stood up and started yelling.

"Are you serious, Cassie?"

I nodded my head yes.

"Fuck!" He yelled, grabbing his chair by it's back and pounding it against the floor. "Oh god. What did I do? God, why? Holy shit. Cassie, I'm so sorry."

"Jake, you don't need to apologize, it's fi-" I started as I stood up but he quickly cut me off.

"No, it's not, Cassie. What I did to you is not fine. I raped you."

My eyes widened as he finished. "Rape? Jake you didn't rape me, I went along with it, you just startled me at first is all. I'm fine with what happened, you were drunk, you couldn't control yourself."

"Whatever, doesn't matter what you think. Besides, concerning the kid, it's not mine. It's not my kid and I'm not it's father."

"What are you talking about, Jake? Of course you're our kid's father."

"Let's get one thing straight, Cassie, there is no 'our', we are not a couple, and that kid is not mine. I cannot take care of a kid after all I've done. How could we raise a kid knowing that it's dad is a murderer. I'm sorry Cassie, but I can not be your child's father."

"Jake, please." I started as I started crying as I stepped forward to hug him. He quickly backed away. "Please, Jake. I need you, now more than ever. I know that you're going through so much right now but the baby won't be here tomorrow, we have eight months before the baby gets here. That's eight months to help you deal with everything you're going through. Jake, if you're willing to work with me through this before our baby gets here then I'm willing to help you. But I have to be certain that you are actually wanting to get better in order to help you. If you refuse to change then I will leave and you will never see me or my child again, do you understand me?"

Jake stared at me with stoic eyes, unwavering, emotionless. "I understand, Cassie. If I don't want to lose you then I need to change. I understand." He gave a brief, timid smile. "For you, anything. I'll try to get my act together before the baby comes. I don't want to lose you forever if I don't."

"Oh, Jake." I whispered as I tried to hug him again, this time he let me. I can't tell you how it felt to be held in his arms again. His strong, caring, encouraging, loving arms again. He held me for a few minutes as he quietly cried, Jake's never been much of a crier, so it shocked me a little to see how much he was crying. But with how much he's gone through in the past several months I can imagine why.

After a few more minutes he let go of me and I slumped back onto his bed. He walked over to his mini fridge and opened it, as he did I could see various kinds of beer and liquor that I've never even heard of.

"Do you want something to drink?" He asked me as he buried his head in his fridge looking for something.

My eyes widened in surprise. "Jake, are you serious?"

"Uh, yeah, I am. Why?" He answered back, his head still buried in the fridge.

"Jake, I just told you that I'm pregnant, I can't drink any alcohol, and I don't drink anyway, you know that." I said this with a surprised, almost in shock kind of tone. Had he really just offered me a drink after I just told him that I was pregnant?

Jake slowly pulled his head from the fridge, his back to me. "I meant water, Cassie." He said as he turned around and held out a water bottle. "I'm not stupid, Cassie. I may be hungover but I'm not an idiot. I know that you can't and don't drink."

I grabbed the bottle from his hand with a sheepish smile. Kind of embarrassed that I misunderstanded him and thought that he didn't know. "Sorry." I said before taking a sip. "I know that you know that I can't drink."

Jake sat next to me as he opened a bottle of beer. I looked at him. "What?" He asked. "Just because you can't drink doesn't mean I can't. And besides, I already had the bottle."

"Jake," I said as I gave him a disappointed look. "I thought that you just said that you would change and stop doing this. Why do you feel like you need to drink?"

He stopped drinking and smiled at me. "This," He said as he pointed to my stomach. "This is why I'm drinking."

I gave him another look and he stopped drinking. "Okay," He said, sounding rather defeated. "This is the last one, I promise."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Author's Note: Thank you all for reading my first ever fanfic. I started this when I was a freshman in highschool, I'm graduated now, so it's been a long time coming but this story is finished. But no need to worry, for this story is not over, as you read this I am planning a second book to this story. It will take place a few months after this one. I plan on uploading the first few chapters of book 2 on New Year's Eve. But if you guys show me that you really like what I'm doing I'll release the first few chapters sooner. In the meantime I should be posting a new story every Friday/Saturday, (depending on how late I upload it). Next week, December 2nd, I will be uploading a revised/edited version of this story. In order to fix some typos and to play around with some wordings, also in order to try to lengthen some of the shorter chapters.

I will be trying to keep a very strict schedule and upload a new one-shot every friday until New Year's Eve when I upload the second book. If you guys again comment, favorite or PM me telling me that you like my stuff then I'll maybe be able to upload more than one short one-shot a week, but you have to ask.

{[(!SPOILER WARNING!)]}

So I bet that you're all wondering about what my next book will be about and how it will be written, if I'll have shorter or longer chapters and everything. Well I'm not going to give away the plot or major spoilers but my next book will have the Yeerks stop their secret invasion and attempt to conquer Earth outright in one final move. Jake is still depressed and having problems as the team picks a new leader as Cassie is still pregnant and gets ready to give birth. The Animorphs must reveal themselves to the world in order to warn the people of Earth, which entails heading to Washington and getting the backing of the US government in order to stop the Yeerks…

Next Book; Animorphs: The Untold Stories #2 "Mr. President, We Need To Talk" should be releasing on New Year's Eve, but check my future uploads for changes in my schedule.

I just want to thank you all again for reading this story. When I first started on here last month I never imagined that I would have over 600 views already on this story, and have people in 13 countries reading my work. I've had a few people in Switzerland and Malaysia and even someone in Poland. (If you're that guy from Poland here's a shout out to you. Leave a comment or message me. Or in fact wherever you're from leave a comment.)

If you guys have any questions, comments, concerns or ideas on my story then I'd love to hear it. If any of you out there need someone to proofread something or give feedback on a story then let me know, I'd be happy to help. However I ask that you only send me Animorphs stories to read, as I have gotten a non-Animorphs story to proofread and had no idea about the books it was based on.

So anyway, enough of my babbling, it's 3:30am and I need to get to bed. Thanks again for all of you who have read my two stories and who are still reading this. If you're still reading this then leave a comment, I'd love to know if anyone reads these.

Check my profile and stuff for future one-shots in the next few weeks. Some may be rated M by the way.

Thanks for all the support, until next week, always keep creating.

HephaestusBuilds

P.S. Check me out on MuseScore if you like that kind of stuff. I'l upload new stuff on there eventually, or whenever I pay for a full account.