Clary's POV

I may have been a little malicious, I know, but now I was feeling a little better. I think I found that natural feminine superiority Izzy was always talking about. I just felt the overwhelming urge to throw in his face what he could have had. He's seen so many naked girls it just didn't bother me to take my slip right off in front of him. Or maybe it was just because it's Jace and I love him and I don't feel embarrassed being virtually naked around him. I had to stop thinking like that. I didn't want to keep reminding myself I loved him. He cheated on me, he lied to me, and I needed to forget about him.

I walked into the living room to see Nate sitting on the couch; he was wearing tan cargo shorts and a dark green t-shirt. Izzy was sitting on the loveseat with Simon. She was wearing a short burgundy sundress with spaghetti straps. Simon was wearing silver gym shorts and a black gamer t-shirt. Nobody else was in the room. I absentmindedly thought that maybe I should buy Simon some new shirts for his birthday, something that wasn't a black gamer t-shirt. I could hear Jace's footsteps down the hall behind me, but I didn't turn around to look at him. I walked into the living room and Nate stood up with a smile. He walked around the coffee table and met me halfway across the room. He gave me a hug, which was a little odd. It wasn't like we hugged yesterday. The hug started out as just a social hug. I tried to maintain a certain level of distance between my body and his. However, as soon as Jace entered the room I heard him make an annoyed noise, which just irritated me and made me decide to close the distance between Nate and I and take him in for a close hug. Nate didn't seem to mind at all and had a big smile on his face when I pulled away and he dropped his arms.

"It's so good to see you again." He said. I gave him a big smile, more to annoy Jace than anything else.

"Yeah. Good to see you too. What's up? What brings you here?" Of course I was also wondering how the hell did you find me, but I couldn't think of a polite way to ask that at the moment. Nate diverted his eyes to Jace and I glanced behind me. Jace was standing with his arms crossed glowering at Nate. Jace is always so sociable.

"I left a message with Jace. He text me to come by whenever." I furrowed my eyebrows and shot Jace a confused look over my shoulders.

"He did?" I questioned. Nate nodded and half shrugged.

"Yeah. I have Will's phone." He reached in his short's pocket and pulled a cell phone out. This seemed a bit odd to me. I knew Will's phone had come apart into three pieces. That means somebody would have had to collect all the pieces and put it back together. Then they'd have to figure out the phone belonged to Will. I couldn't believe Nate would take the time to do that; I didn't care how good of a Samaritan he was. Though, I also didn't want to act too suspicious either. I smiled as I attempted to take the phone.

"That's great. Thanks so much. I'll see that he gets it. Where did you find it?" Nate didn't relinquish the phone. He tilted his head slightly to the side.

"It was just left by the bar. Will must have forgotten it there, or somebody must have picked it up and left it. I noticed your name in the list of contacts. Clary is not a common name." He smiled. I thought it was a little odd he could get into the contact list, but I didn't really know if Will's phone had a locking feature. Will seemed like the kind of guy that would have a cell that had a password entry, but I wasn't sure. I just nodded and smiled. Nate still hadn't released the phone yet.

"Hey I had fun talking to you last night at the party. I thought maybe we could grab a drink some time. I'll see if Tessa's around and you can give Will a call. We can catch up some more." Like clockwork I heard the footsteps behind me. I rolled my eyes. I could practically feel Jace breathing down my neck. I wasn't really interested in dating Nate, or anybody else for that matter, but it was possible he did just mean for us to catch up as friends. I had this nagging feeling in the back of my head that something wasn't right, but the feeling was superseded by the fact that I knew saying yes would piss Jace off, which right now sounded good to me.

"That sounds fun." I said trying to sound more enthusiastic than I felt. I could always make it clear that I wasn't looking for a relationship later. I didn't really want to lead Nate on just to get back at Jace. Plus if Nate continued to give me a bad vibe, I could just blow him off when he called. I heard Jace clear his throat loudly behind me.

"I'm Jace." He said in an irritated tone. Nate looked over my shoulder at Jace and seemed to absentmindedly release Will's cell phone as he reached out his hand towards Jace.

"Nate." He said evenly. Jace shook Nate's hand and I could just about see Nate wincing in pain.

"Jace!" I snapped as I looked over my shoulder. Jace was smirking as he dropped Nate's hand. Nate shook his head.

"No it's cool. Some guys are a little insecure." Nate said with a slight shrug.

"I have nothing to be insecure about." Jace snapped. Nate was looking at Jace with furrowed eyebrows.

"You sure about that? You seem a little unsure of yourself. I just asked Clary if she wanted to grab a drink and catch up sometime and you're acting like I just asked her if she wanted to go away with me for the weekend." Nate had an amused look on his face. Jace made an irritated noise. I tried not to laugh, but a little half laugh half cough escaped. I could see Jace trying to side step me to get to Nate in my peripheral vision. I mirrored his movement almost instinctively. I really didn't like it when Jace tried to intimidate guys just because I talked to them. Nate seemed to be looking at us somewhat quizzically almost like he was carefully assessing the situation.

"Don't mind Jace. He woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." I snapped sarcastically and shot Jace a glare over my shoulder. I returned my gaze to Nate and smiled.

"I can check with Will, but I think he's going to stay glued to the hospital right now, but we can always grab a coffee just the two of us and catch up." Nate looked a little confused. I realized he probably didn't have any idea what was going on and I started to tell him about Jem. I heard the door to the cottage open and in walked Aline, Ray, and Sebastian. I felt anger course through me as my whole body tensed. I crossed my arms and glared daggers at Sebastian. I didn't even register the body that was suddenly pressed up against my back or the protective hand on my shoulder, Jace. I'm sure had it not been Sebastian that just walked into the cottage, I would have snapped at Jace for touching me, but right now all my concentration was focused on how pissed I was to see Sebastian.

"GET THE HELL OUT!" I yelled. Sebastian's eyes met mine and they looked remorseful, but I didn't care.

"He's just here to pack." Ray said and put a hand on Sebastian's shoulder. Aline stood on Sebastian's other side and looked upset. I vaguely noticed that she seemed to be darting her eyes between Izzy and me with an apologetic look. Izzy just stood up and left the room. I heard doors in the hallway and footsteps. Jordan came into the living room.

"You got here quicker than I thought you would." Jordan commented. He hastily walked through the living room, shooting me a quick look on the way through, he shook Ray's hand. They both seemed to escort Sebastian from the foyer through the kitchen. You could just as easily get to Sebastian's room that way. Nate furrowed his eyebrows and looked back at me.

"What was that all about?" I shook my head.

"It's a really long story Nate…I hate to sound rude, but maybe you should go." Nate nodded. I tried not to sound as irritated as I felt. I wasn't even registering the fact that I hadn't moved at all away from Jace, or the fact that his thumb was gently rubbing back and forth on my shoulder in a soothing way. Nate commented he was sure Tessa would like to come by and see Will, and we made plans that he and Tessa would come over tomorrow afternoon and we'd all go over to the hospital together. I said a quick goodbye and told Nate I'd send him a text to confirm after I talked to Will. We didn't hug this time. I didn't initiate a hug and he didn't either. He turned and I didn't even wait to watch him leave before I started to walk back to my room. I had no interest in seeing Sebastian when he left. About halfway down the hall I realized Jace still had his hand on my shoulder.

"Jace, enough!" I snapped as I jerked away from him. His hand fell from my shoulder, but he didn't say anything. I could still hear his footsteps behind me as I continued walking down the hall. I heard him continue walking behind me passed his room, passed the kitchen, and I knew he was still behind me when I approached my door. I stopped and spun around.

"Jace, stop it. Stop following me. Just stop." I snapped.

"I wasn't done talking to you Clary." He said shaking his head as he crossed his arms. I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes.

"Jace there's nothing more to say. It's over." I said softly. His face fell, but I couldn't even register it as I saw Sebastian walk out of his room and look down the hall in mine and Jace's direction. Jace turned to follow my glare.

"Can I just apologize to Clary again?" I heard Sebastian say quietly.

"It's up to her if she wants to talk to you." Jordan said sternly standing right next to Sebastian.

"Clary?" I heard Sebastian say hesitantly. I took a deep breath. Sebastian had put his bags down and took a step down the hall in my direction; he was being closely flanked by Ray and Jordan, two police officers I reminded myself. Based on the fact minutes ago Maia came in my room looking for Jordan's gun, I was guessing Ray and Jordan were probably both armed. I was safe. I would let him apologize. This would give me some closer. Jace took a side step to stand directly in front of me. I made an irritated noise as I pushed Jace to the side.

"Fine." I said harshly. Sebastian approached me hesitantly. He stood about five feet away from me with Jordan and Ray directly behind him. Jace stood almost perpendicular to me, but slightly in front of me, with his back up against the wall. His arms were still crossed and I could see his tight fists turning white. He was glowering at Sebastian.

"Clary. I am very sorry. I never wanted to hurt you." I nodded slowly. His eyes seemed to falter slightly and a flash of something passed over his face as he looked down towards my collarbone. His eyes just stared and got very large. He swallowed hard and took a hasty step backward, in effect bumping into Jordan and Ray. Almost automatically I reached up and clasped my hand around the ring that hung at the end of the chain.

"Now where did you get that?" He asked in a very low unsettling voice. I just continued to glare at him.

"Where did she get what?" Jace, Jordan, and Ray seemed to ask simultaneously. Sebastian shook his head and turned around. He pushed by Jordan and Ray, picked up his bags and walked down the hall. He walked all the way down to the living room before turning. Jordan and Ray were right behind him. There was something very comforting about this ring. I had a strong feeling this ring was the reason Sebastian left so abruptly. This ring was very powerful. I couldn't appreciate the moment as Jace quickly ruined it.

"What the hell was that about?" He snapped. I shrugged as I turned around and walked into my room. Jace was directly behind me and I didn't even bother trying to push him out of my room and close the door. I just shook my head as I walked across the room.

"What do you want Jace?" I drawled out without turning back towards him. I walked over to the bureau and took the small jewelry box out. I took the necklace off and put it in the box. I was starting to get creped out. I liked that little burst of power I felt like the ring gave me, but I was having a Lord of the Rings moment and I was afraid I was going to start referring to the ring as My Precious. Damn you Simon for making me watch all three of those movies. I didn't realize Jace had left the room until I turned around. He was gone, but my door was open. I stretched my neck dramatically from side to side and went to close the door, but I suddenly saw Jordan walk out of the kitchen towards me.

"Clary. Now!" Jordan snapped. I dropped my head back theatrically.

"Why?" I whined.

"Clary." Jordan scolded. I held the bedroom door open wide as Jordan passed me and walked in. I saw Jace coming out of Alec's bedroom and rolled my eyes at him as I shut my bedroom door behind Jordan. I turned around and leaned my back against the door with my arms crossed. Jordan walked over to my bureau and leaned up against it with his arms crossed in front of him. He was giving me an impatient look, so I took this as indication he was waiting for me to speak first.

"Can I just say I'm sorry and it won't happen again?" He shook his head.

"Clary I know you went through the NRA course, which is the only reason I'm not completely off the wall right now, but you can't just take my gun without asking. I want to know why you took it and where you took it." I banged my head against the door a couple times.

"I took it because I was afraid I might run into Sebastian." This was true. He was nodding, but not saying anything. I knew he was waiting for me to continue. I took a deep breath. I was thinking about the fact that Jordan was a cop, if my father was really a bad guy, maybe Jordan knew things about him. Maybe he could help me figure out if I was overreacting, or if I had reasons to be leery of my father.

"Where did you bring it Clary?" He finally asked rather annoyed.

"Jordan? You're a cop right?" It was a rhetorical question; I did already know the answer. He nodded.

"Would you know if somebody was a bad person, like a criminal?" He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me quizzically.

"What do you mean? Can I tell if somebody is a criminal by looking at them? No Clary, I'm not psychic." I sighed with an exasperated breath.

"No I meant…like…how about if a lot of people thought somebody was a bad guy…but the guy never got caught for any of the bad things he supposedly did? How do you know if the guy is really a bad guy, or just has a bad reputation?" He was shaking his head.

"Clary, where are you going with this? Is this hypothetical or is there something you're trying to tell me?" I rolled my eyes.

"Have you ever heard of the Morgenstern family?" I asked evenly. Jordan cracked his neck and took a deep breath.

"Why?" He asked heavily as he drummed his fingers against his arm in an impatient gesture. Based on his reaction I was pretty sure he had. I walked across the room and opened my bureau drawer and took out the jewelry box. I took the chain and the ring out of the box and handed it to Jordan.

"Does this mean anything to you?" He looked at it and shook his head.

"Should it?" I shook my head slightly

"No, I guess not." I went to reach for the chain, but he held on to it and started inspecting the ring closely.

"Do you have a magnify glass?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No why would I?" He shrugged. He walked out of the room and I followed him. He went into his bedroom and opened the nightstand top drawer and pulled out a magnify glass.

"Why?" I asked as I eyed the magnify glass.

"I like to paint model soldiers. It's a hobby. The magnify glass comes in handy for little details." He shrugged. Though it was rather light in the room already, he turned on the lamp on the nightstand and inspected the ring further.

"Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo." Jordan said with furrowed eyebrows and looked over at me.

"Where did you get this?" He sounded oddly like Sebastian. Something crossed his face, almost recognition.

"Wait…Is this the necklace you were just wearing? Is this what Sebastian just asked about?" I nodded slowly.

"What did you just say a minute ago? Flecta si neqi something." He was shaking his head. He looked back at the ring and held it out to me. I took a step closer to him and took the ring from him and inspected it with the magnify glass.

"It's Latin. Here.-" He pointed.

"-It's engraved on the inside of the band." I used the magnify glass and looked at the words engraved eloquently along the entire inside of the band. I never really looked at the ring that closely before. I never noticed it was engraved.

"Do you know what it means?" I asked. He nodded and was still looking at me somewhat confused.

"It means, If I cannot move Heaven, I will raise Hell." I tilted my head slightly to the side.

"Hump." I bit my lip and looked at the ring a moment longer before I gave Jordan the magnify glass back and he put it away.

"So do you want to tell me what's going on? Where did you get that?" He asked heavily. I smirked.

"I got it from my father." I said with a half humorless laugh. He furrowed his eyebrows further.

"Luke?" He said hesitantly. I shook my head.

"My biological father." He nodded.

"Why is there a W on the ring if your father's last name was Fray?" I shook my head slowly.

"That's an M Jordan, and my father's last name isn't really Fray." His eyes got big.

"Clary?" He questioned in a warning tone and swallowed hard. I heard a door open in the hallway and looked over at Jordan's open bedroom door. I heard approaching footsteps and Jace appeared in the doorway.


Jace's POV

Clary and Jordan were both standing by the nightstand quietly when I looked in the room. Jordan had this wide eyed almost shocked look on his face and was running his hand through his hair. Clary just crossed her arms and glared at me. There was a feeling of tension in the room, but whether or not that was because I just walked in I wasn't sure.

"Am I interrupting?" I asked uncertainly. Clary rolled her eyes.

"Yes. Go away." She snapped. I hesitated in the doorway for a short moment. I heard footsteps and glanced down the hall to see Simon. He was walking with a purpose and he had a highly concerned look on his face. He pushed passed me towards Clary's room, but quickly redirected himself as he glanced into Jordan's room on the way by. He headed over to Clary.

"Come here." Simon said sternly and grabbed her hand and started to tow her towards the door. She stood firm and ripped her hand out of his grasp.

"What are you doing?" She snapped. I took a couple steps into the room. Jordan still had this odd look on his face and took something out of Clary's hand. She only seemed to half be paying attention to him and half paying attention to Simon.

"I think we're done here for now." Jordan said evenly looking at Clary. He pocked whatever he took from her. He picked her purse up off the bureau and handed it to her. She seemed to take it responsively as she rolled her eyes, but didn't seem to be fully acknowledging him as Simon grabbed at her arm again. This time she let him lead her out of the room and back into her room. I started to follow, but Jordan stopped me.

"Jace wait up. Close the door for a minute would you?" I was just at the door, so I closed it and turned around. Jordan took a deep breath.

"Clary ever say anything to you about her real dad?" I shrugged.

"Not much. Just that her mom and dad divorced before she was born." He nodded.

"That's it?" I looked at his skeptically.

"You want to tell me what this is about?" He shrugged.

"Just curious." I raised one eyebrow at him.

"You expect me to buy that? Can you give me a clue what's really going on here?" He took a deep breath.

"Might not be anything. I'll let you know if I find out there's something to worry about." I furrowed my eyebrows at him.

"That's all you're giving me?" I gave him a stern look. He shook his head.

"I can't tell you what I think is going on Jace, just keep an eye on her, and fix things with her." I ran my hand through my hair.

"I don't think that's going to be as easy as you make it sound." He nodded.

"It never is…You know how Maia and I met?" I shrugged.

"Simon introduced you." Jordan laughed.

"He tells everybody that. He completely takes credit for introducing Maia and I." I chuckled.

"I take it he didn't introduce you then." He shook his head.

"Have a seat Jace. I want to tell you a story." I raised an eyebrow, but walked over to his bed and sat down on the edge. He leaned against the bureau and put his hands on his head with his fingers intertwined, he glanced over at me sideways.

"Maia and I met back when we were in high school." I furrowed my eyebrows at him.

"You went to our high school?" Jordan shook his head.

"No. I went to an all boys' school…It was the summer before my senior year. I was seventeen. Maia was just going into her freshman year of high school, she was fourteen. I met Maia at a 4H camp. I was one of the camp counselors. You can't fraternize with the campers, they're pretty strict about that, but when the two week camp was over, on the very last day, Maia gave me her number. I was shocked. I had thought she was beautiful and funny and she had such a personality, but I didn't think she ever even noticed me. We barely talked. I mainly worked with the campers that did horseback riding and she never came out. I'd find myself looking at her and for a second I'd swear she looked my way, and then I'd try to catch her eye, but I never thought I did. I wasn't great with girls, came from going to an all boys' school." He took a deep breath. He had a smile on his face and he was looking off into space. There was a long pause.

"So what happened?" I finally asked.

"Well I finally worked up the courage to call her and she said she'd go out with me. The next year we went out whenever Maia's parents let her out of the house, which was usually on Friday night and Saturday and Sunday afternoon. They were pretty lax with Maia considering I was three years older than her, but her parents are really easy going people. They trust her a lot. When I applied to colleges I decided to go out of state. I had really good grades and I was hopeful I could get scholarships. My parents are kind of smothering and I just wanted to get away to go to school. I got accepted to Texas A&M on a merit scholarship that practically paid for the first year, so that's where I wanted to go. Maia and I didn't want to breakup, but she was going into her sophomore year, I was going away to college, we both knew it would be hard to stay together. We decided to see other people, but not breakup. I wouldn't recommend it to anybody; it's just a disaster waiting to happen." He ran his hands through his hair.

"We decided we'd still talk on the phone and email all the time and we'd see each other when I came home around the holidays. I left for school in August. I missed her, I did, but I never went to a coed school before. I never got out and partied before. I was having a little too much fun with all the attention I was getting from all these college girls. I didn't really feel that bad about the flirting and kissing to tell you the truth, but when I hooked up with a girl at a Halloween party, that I felt guilty for. I remembered waking up in the morning immediately regretting what happened. It wasn't like I woke up with her in my bed. We were both drunk, we hooked up at the party and went our separate ways, but I remembered what I did. I called Maia to tell her. I felt awful. She broke up with me over the phone, completely told me off. Maia and I had never had sex, so when we agreed to see other people, I guess she didn't really mean I could go out and sleep with other girls, which I think I knew that was crossing the line. If she told me she was sleeping with other guys I would have been through the roof. That was it. She didn't respond to my emails or answer any of my calls after that. I never saw her when I came home at Christmas, even though I called her and asked to see her, but she didn't want to see me." He took a deep breath and shook his head.

"Second semester freshmen year I partied a lot. I drank a lot anyhow. I never stopped feeling bad about Maia, so I just never hooked up with another girl. My GPA fell too low and I lost my merit scholarship. I couldn't afford Texas A&M, so I had to come back to New York and go to a state college. I wasn't that far away from where Maia lived, but I never called her. She could have changed her number for all I knew. At the end of my sophomore year of college I started looking at joining the police department. My father worked for the NYPD and it was something I always thought about doing. You need 60 college credits to join The Force. The summer before junior year I went to the police department one day with my dad so he could give me a tour and I could talk to some of the people that worked there. Simon's mom is the psychologist at my dad's department. She called me into her office when I was there and said she'd like to talk to me about my goals and my life. It was kind of like sitting down with a school guidance counselor. I mentioned to her that I use to be in a band a while back and it was something I might like to do again some time. She immediately started talking to me about her son, who was in a band. One thing led to another and before I knew it I had an audition set up with Simon's crappy band." Jordan shook his head with a smile on his face.

"I played with his band a couple times, but between college and trying to get my application in for the police department, I didn't stay with it long. I continued to hang out with Simon though. I ended up getting accepted to the police department, but between all the process and The Academy, I didn't actually start working until that October. I had missed the spring semester of my junior year and the following fall semester because of The Academy. Simon use to always try to get me to go to college parties with him; I would always decline. He was eighteen and a senior in high school and I was twenty-one and going through the process to be a cop. I was so sure if I went it would be the time the cops showed up to raid the place and I'd be kicked out of The Academy. Anyway, Maia is a year ahead of Simon, so she was a freshman in college. She actually went to the same school I did, but I didn't know it. She was good friends with Simon and use to invite him to parties on campus all the time, she was quite the partier. On Saturday, December 27, Simon finally convinced me to come out to a party with him. It was my 22nd birthday and Simon refused to let me mope, like I did most years on my birthday. So I showed up at this party and Simon wanted to introduce me to his friend, which I knew her name was Maia; I just never put two and two together that it could have been the same Maia. I can't say she was happy to see me. She physically attacked me. I got a good punch, not even a slap, she punched me." He snorted.

"It was a lot of work to get her back. I kind of declared my feelings for her later that night with a bit of a buzz, and she just told me off all over again. After that night I just kind of hovered around her. Simon would invite me to things he'd know she would be at, and I tried not to push her and eventually she kissed me. Not even sure what happened really, but almost right after, she told me she just wanted to be friends. I told her I didn't want to be her friend. It would literally kill me to watch her date other guys. I couldn't even imagine if she ever got engaged or married to another guy. I told her I wanted her in my life 100% or nothing. I knew I was taking a risk that I'd never see her again, but I just had to take the chance. I loved her so much and I felt like she had to love me too, I just prayed I wasn't wrong. Miraculously she chose me." He finished his story with a smile on his face and looked back at me.

"Are you telling me that if I wait a few years Clary with forgive me?" Jordan laughed.

"No. I think I'm telling you that it might take some time, a lot of effort, and ultimately you might have to risk losing her, to get her back." I nodded my head slowly. I could see how Jordan's story applied to Clary and I. I really could. I took a deep breath. I walked out of his room slowly and closed the door behind me. I needed some time to think. I went and took a shower, which seeing as I hadn't showered all day, this felt really good.

I went back to my room and put on a clean pair of boxers, a tan pair of cargo shorts and a light blue polo shirt. I picked up my phone off the nightstand and made the first of the two calls I had been procrastinating making, I called Kaelie. After a very unproductive, somewhat hostile phone conversation with Kaelie, all I had learned was that Kaelie was adamant she didn't set me up, and she didn't know what happened. She also was adamant that Seelie didn't remember anything and she refused to give me Seelie's phone number. The hostility of the call was entirely on my part, because she repeatedly tried to get me to come over there and talk to her in person. I had no interest in seeing her. I hung up the phone discouraged, though I guess deep down I knew I wouldn't get any answers from her. I went over to my bureau and pulled the ring box out. I had gotten it out of Alec's room not long ago; when I left Clary in her room alone. I had intended to rush right back to her room and propose, but then Jordan was in her room and now I wasn't so sure what I should do. I sat on the bed and opened the ring box. I stared at the ring I had bought for Clary and thought about what I was going to do.


Jace's POV

I looked over at the clock. It was almost 7:00. Where did the day go? I closed the ring box and stood up. I put it in my pocket. I was going to play this by ear. I was so apprehensive about proposing unless I felt I had a chance she'd say yes. I walked out of my room and down the hall to Clary's room. I knocked on the door. I heard her voice float through the door.

"Who is it?" I imagined she really just wanted to know if it was me. I didn't answer I just knocked again. This time the door opened and Simon was on the other side of it. He looked over his shoulder at Clary.

"I know you don't believe me, but it makes sense Clary." He shook his head and turned back; he gave me a thoughtful look, but didn't say anything.

"Wait." Clary called and he turned back around, just standing in front of me.

"Jace. I have a question for you." Clary asked in an almost overly sarcastic excited voice. I glanced back and forth between Clary and Simon. Simon was giving Clary a warning look and shaking his head slightly. Clary was smirking. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Do you believe Sebastian is a good, decent, truth telling, sort of person?" Clary asked with the same odd tone to her voice. It was rather creepy. I furrowed my eyebrows further.

"Is this a trick question?" I asked hesitantly. Simon seemed to be nodding, but Clary shot him a glare. Clary shook her head adamantly.

"No. No trick. Sebastian told Simon a wonderfully exciting story. Much like Sebastian told me a wonderfully exciting story the other night when I went for a walk with him. He's really good at telling very convincing stories. He told this great story to Simon where he's a victim and we should all feel bad for him, because nothing he did is his fault. I wouldn't believe a single word that came out of that lying son of a bitch's mouth, but Simon holds all this trust that Sebastian is this honest kind of guy that tells the truth. I just wondered what you thought." She had this weird look on her face. I was looking back and forth between Clary and Simon. Simon seemed to be holding his breath.

"I…I can't say I'd put a lot of stock in something Sebastian said." I said cautiously.

"Thank you!" Clary said in the same creepy voice with a nod. Simon sighed loudly and just closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. He opened his eyes and looked over at Clary.

"That really wasn't fair Clary." He said with a very serious look on his face. She glared daggers at him.

"It's not about being fair Simon. It's about being realistic. Everybody says I'm too gullible and I'm not going to just believe everything I'm told anymore. Just because you can't see his ulterior motive, doesn't mean he doesn't have one. He fed you whatever bullshit best helped his cause and you ate it right up." Clary snapped. Simon shook his head and turned back towards me. He clapped his hand to my shoulder and gave me an apologetic look as he walked out the door and then down the hallway. I walked into Clary's room, ignoring her attempts to tell me to go away. I locked the door behind me. She was sitting on her computer desk chair in what she was wearing earlier. Her red curls were falling forward over her shoulder. Of course absentmindedly I was thinking about how I had watched her change into that outfit, and I knew exactly what she was wearing under it. I tried to clear my mind. I took a deep breath and walked across the room. Clary was slouching in the chair and her butt was pushed way forward with her feet straight out in front of her. She had been sitting this exact same way when I teased her the other day and pulled her forward off the chair, onto my lap, and into my arms. I wished I could just tease her into smiling now and pull her into my arms all over again, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was slightly swiveling the chair side to side. I noticed absentmindedly that she had taken off the ring she had previously been wearing around her neck. I walked up until I was just a couple feet in front of her and dropped down on my knees. She didn't say anything to me, she just glared, which was better than yelling at me to get out. I swallowed hard.

"I'm going to ask things of you I have no right to ask. I'm going to be selfish and self-centered. I'm going to ask you to forgive me. I'm going to ask you to trust me. I'm going to ask you to love me-" She cut me off.

"Stop it Jace." She said firmly.

"Clary-" She shook her head and she cut me off.

"Jace it's over. Just stop. Stop apologizing." She looked so angry. I furrowed my eyebrows at her.

"Clary please. I love you-" She cut me off.

"See, just stop doing that Jace. My mind is made up. Just go." She looked sad and angry. She looked heartbroken. I looked at her for a long moment and she didn't say anything,

"So what does that make us?" I asked softly. She shook her head.

"Nothing Jace. It makes us nothing." She said softly. I nodded.

"You told me recently if nothing else you wanted to be friends. I cannot imagine my life without you in it in some capacity, if you would still let me be your friend, that would a great kindness to me. If you cannot trust me, even as one trusts a friend, I just want you to know I'll always be there for you. If ever you need a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand, a listening ear, an embrace to let you know you are not alone in the world, I will be there in any capacity you request. Though, if you cannot bear for me to be in your life, as a friend nor even an acquaintance; if you cannot bear the slightest touch of my hand, the quietest sound of my voice, or the briefest gaze of my eyes. Then I will disappear."

"If you tell me to leave, to never come back, I will walk out of this door, pack my bags, and walk out of your life for the last time. I will never trouble you with my heartache or my sentiments of affection towards you. I will never speak of the anguish I will undoubtedly feel every night when I go to sleep and you are not besides me. I will never whisper sweet words that speak of love and promises...I am being selfish. I know I am being incredibly selfish. If I had all of the money, all the gold, and all the diamonds of the world I would buy your love if I could, but love cannot be bought. Love is a gift to be treasured above all other things. If tomorrow I were not to wake and my life would be over I would be most grateful that I got to spend the last few days with you. My greatest regret would be that I betrayed your trust. That the last time you looked at me you looked at me the way you are looking at me now. You looked at me in pain and anger. You looked at me like your heart was shattered."

"If your life would be better, easier, happier, if I were not in it, then I would like to say goodbye. I have lost many people I cared about in my life, and I know life is about letting go, but the hardest part is never getting the chance to say goodbye." I felt like I might not ever see her again. I just really felt like this could be goodbye. I tried to memorize the precise shade of emerald green of her eyes, the exact auburn red of her hair. I tried to memorize the way her curls curved and twirled, wishing I could run my hands through them, wishing I could touch the softness of her hair and smell the grapefruit scent of her shampoo. I tried to memorize the exact shape of her face and curve to her lips, wishing I could press my lips to hers one last time. I couldn't take my eyes from her face, I would have liked to memorize every curve to her body, but my eyes couldn't look away from hers. I could see a few tears just starting to stream down her face; she was biting her quivering bottom lip. I reached out without thinking and wiped a couple tears away with my thumb. She let out with a whimper, but didn't move away. I laid my hand ever so gently on her cheek. I felt the warmth and softness of her skin. More tears fell down her face. I wondered if these were tears to say goodbye. This was the most intimately she let me touch her all day, but maybe she was just trying to show me some kindness in the end. I longed to hold her in my arms and tell her everything would be alright. I ached to erase the look of anger and hurt from her eyes. We were both quiet for so long. I gently grazed my thumb back and forth against her cheek. My eyes had began to burn. I spoke quietly and I put as much feeling into my words as I could.

"I am so very sorry Clary. I truly hope you know how much you mean to me...God I love you so much." I said softly. I hesitated another silent minute before I stood up. I left her room and went back to mine. The rest of the evening I lay awake in bed and stared out the window. Now I just had to wait for her to decide. I was risking losing her as Jordan had suggested. If this didn't work, I didn't know what I would do. I couldn't ask her to marry me. Not like this. I watched as the bright sun set and the world faded to darkness. The cottage was eerily quiet. Everybody seemed to be sticking to their rooms, or they left, I wasn't sure which. It didn't feel like the Forth of July, except for the loud thunder of fireworks and the colorful blasts lighting up the night sky outside my window.


Thank you as always for reading and for your great reviews.

The Lord of the Rings (film series) (2001 - 2003)

"My Precious"

Vublius Vergilius Maro (October 15, 70 BC – September 21, 19 BC) (usually called Virgil)

"Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo"