AN: Hi everyone. Hope you all had a pleasant weekend! I wanted to thank decadenceofmysoul, Foreverkee and Emmettluver2010 for their reviews; you guys are wonderful! Now, enjoy the chapter and don't forget to review! (:


Chapter 4.

One year later.

I stared down at the grade list in my hand. Another year was over and somehow; I had managed to survive. With some extra credit assignments, I had been able to lift my Chemistry grade from a C to a B and had even managed to make a C from my D in Math. I should have felt proud of myself, should have felt something apart from the overwhelming relief.

Nate had graduated. As much as I thought had he didn't deserve it and had wanted him to fail miserably, the relief I felt at knowing that he could not torment me any longer was much bigger. According to some gossip I had unwillingly picked up, he was moving to Santa Barbara to attend university there. For all I cared he could move to the end of the world.

Of course, the damage to my reputation was already done. I was considered a whore; first for letting myself be fucked against the gym building, then for fucking Jax. No one ever asked for my side of the story.

The buzzing of my phone startled me from my thoughts and I lazily threw the grade list on my desk. Then, I picked up my phone, opening the text message.

Are you home?

Yes, why?

I tapped my fingers against the wood of my desk as I waited. Then, when nothing came, I picked the device back up. Are you okay?

No.

It was not long before the loud roar of a motorcycle could be heard and I quickly threw on a sweater before I headed down the stairs. I passed the empty living room and closed the front door behind me.

As expected, Jax stood on our driveway, his motorcycle still running as he handed me the spare helmet.

I wanted to ask him what was wrong, the look on his face only further confirming that something was, but pushed the curiosity down. Instead, I accepted the helmet and sat behind him, only just in time wrapping my arms around him before he pulled off.

I was surprised when we did not follow the usual road to the clubhouse, but instead drove away from the town, before we eventually stopped in front of a black, wrought iron gate.

Again, he said nothing as he turned off his motorcycle and walked through the gate.

Quickly following after him, it took me some effort to catch up with his longer strides, but then we walked side by side in companionable silence. Around us, I noticed stone silhouettes lining the path, illuminated by the light of the half moon.

Eventually, we came to a stop beside one of the stones and, squinting my eyes, I could make out the name on the gravestone. John Thomas Teller. When Jax remained silent, I awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other, wondering what I was supposed to do now. In the past, he had always been the one comforting me. Still, that was some time ago; my angsty teenage hormones had finally calmed down somewhat in the last year and I found that more and more often, we'd get together just to hang out or do fun stuff. Through it all, however, Jax had been my solid rock who, no matter how ugly things got, always made me feel better.

I turned to look at him, studying the familiar features of his face in the moonlight and took in his tensed shoulders, his mouth set.

Digging into the pouch of my sweater, I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and pulled two out. Silently, I handed one to him.

He looked at it somewhat puzzled, then gave me a curious glance. 'When did you start smoking?'

I shrugged non-committally, blowing the smoke into the warm summer night. 'Maybe I've been hanging around with you too much.'

He cracked a smile, but it quickly faded. 'You shouldn't smoke, El; that shit kills, you know.'

I did not respond to his hypocritical advice, nor to the nickname he'd given me a year ago and instead fixed him with a stern look. 'What's going on, Jax?'

He did not speak and continued to smoke his cigarette, staring off into the night. At last, when he'd stubbed the remains of his cigarette, he sighed. 'I told Wendy I want to divorce.'

Of all the things that he could have said, I had not expected this. Sure, I knew Jax and his wife had issues, I knew that when he said that "he couldn't stand to be at home" he really just meant to say that he couldn't stand to be around Wendy, but I had never thought it was that serious. All couples argued, right? 'Why?'

'I can't be with her when she's shooting that shit into her body. She's fucking destroying herself and she doesn't care. I told her I just can't do it anymore; I'm done with it.'

I comfortingly squeezed his hand with my mine, staring down at our intertwined fingers as I tried to think of something to say. In all honesty, I couldn't imagine how difficult it must be to see someone you love slowly kill themselves with drugs; what it must be like to stand by and know that there's nothing you can do. But when I glanced up at his face, remembering all that we'd seen and been through together, I knew that if I were ever to lose Jax, I would never be able to be that strong. Even though we were only friends, I knew that it would kill me.

I squeezed his hand a little tighter. 'You did the right thing, Jax. I know it doesn't feel like it, but staying in such a relationship doesn't help either of you; you'll only drag each other down in your misery.'

He looked out in the summer night for a moment, then raised his eyebrows at me. 'When did you get so smart, you little brat?'

'What will happen now?'

He sighed, his blue eyes losing their twinkle once more. 'Wendy said she's going into rehab.'

'And with you?'

'Well, I have you and the club, don't I? I'm guessing I won't have a moment's rest now that you know that you can camp in my dorm room the entire summer long.'

I gave him a playful shove, but my lips quirked into a smile nonetheless. 'And don't you forget it.'


Another year later.

'Ah, come on, El. We have to celebrate your graduation, don't we?'

'Don't pretend that you are planning to get dead drunk because of me, Teller.'

'I won't leave you alone.'

'That's what you said last time, when I ended up playing poker with Chibs and Tig for half of the night until you were done fucking one of the croweaters.' I made it a point to glare at him, then took another drag from my cigarette and blew the smoke out into the air. Beneath our feet, I could see some of the guys working on a silver sedan and I smiled as Happy honked just as Tig had his head down the hood, making the latter yell out a string of obscenities before he threw a wrench at the younger guy's head.

Only a few hours ago, I had officially graduated from high school. To my surprise, not just Piney and Jax, but most of the Sons had been present at the ceromony and I had been oddly touched by their presence. When the last people had finally received their diplomas, we had not stayed for the drinks and socializing. Jax and I had followed the others to the clubhouse and I did not even change out of my white summer dress before we climbed to Jax' favorite spot on the roof.

'I promise to stay by your side this time.'

'Yeah, right.'

'Come on.'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'For me?'

'Fuck you, Teller.'


I arrived casually late at the clubhouse that night. Dressed in a black, snuggly fitted lace dress, combined with my new favorite pin up heels, I felt strangely sexy and somehow – even more strangely – not in the least bothered by that fact. Although I had turned 18 two months ago and had, since then, become fair game, I knew Jax would keep any unwanted hands away from me. It was one of the nice perks that came with being friends with the vice president of a notorious motorcycle club.

As I walked inside, I put my extra three inches to good use and scanned the crowd (for once being able to see over other people's shoulders) completely unbothered by the now familiar sight of half-naked women on stripper poles and in men's laps. When I did not immediately find the telltale shaggy blond locks, I shrugged and made my way to the bar.

Before I had made it there, two big, strong arms wrapped around my waist and I was lifted into the air. When at last my feet met solid ground again, I turned around with a smile. 'Hello to you too, Opie.'

'Congratulations, little cousin. That makes one in the family with a diploma.'

'Congratulations, Eliza!'

I smiled warmly at her. In the last year, I had really come to like Donna Winston. Although she was not always a big fan of the club, she was friendly and sweet and as good as they come, and whenever I'd be in need of some woman-to-woman talk, Donna had been more than ready to listen to me. 'Thank you, Donna.'

The couple soon left and I continued my way to the bar. The prospect manning it knew better than to question my age when I asked for a beer and I sat myself comfortably on one of the bar stools. Crossing one bare leg over the other, I settled myself to wait for a certain Mr. Jackson Teller.


Two hours and five beers later and I was slowly getting quite irritated. The whole damn reason I had come was because of Jax and now the man in question was nowhere to be found. In his stead, I had had to deal with several incredibly disgusting men myself, eventually opting for moving outside if only so I would not have to deal with them anymore. And so I had taken my sixth (or seventh, I wasn't really sure anymore) beer and had wobbled my way to an empty picnic table. I gracelessly dropped myself on its surface and pulled my cigarette pack from inside my clutch. My fingers were already feeling around for about a minute when I finally realized it was empty. 'Oh fuck it.'

'Are you all right, love?'

I looked up to find a thirty-something year old man standing next to my table. I did not recognize him and I assumed he was part of the visiting charter. He was dark haired, quite cute and, most importantly, holding a cigarette pack in his left hand. Unconsciously, I smiled. 'Quite so, thank you. Would you like to sit down?'

He looked taken aback by my forwardness, but honestly I just didn't care. I really needed a smoke. 'You come here often, love?'

'Sometimes,' I looked sideways at him, finding him already looking at me. 'When I think it will be worth my time.'

'If I'd known I'd find a beauty like you here, I'd have visited much sooner.' He smiled flirtatiously at me, then seemingly remembered the pack in his hands. 'You mind if I light one up?'

When I shook my head, he put one of his cigarettes between his lips and, with a black lighter that I noticed had two red playing cards etched into the side, lid up his cigarette.

I waited until he'd taken the first drag, then boldly stole the cigarette from his mouth. Taken a deep drag, I let the smoke roll around in my lungs before I slowly exhaled, feeling my muscles relax as the nicotine entered my body. This was just what I needed.

'Get the fuck away from her!'

I looked up, quite amused to find Jax there, a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand, annoyedly glaring at the man sitting next to me.

'Whoops,' I said, sliding off the table. 'Gotta go.' I linked my arm with Jax', dragging him away from my new acquaintance.

'What the hell were you doing?'

I couldn't help but smile cheekily at him as I blew out some smoke 'Stealing a cigarette. Where were you? I waited hours!'

'I know, El, I'm sorry. Clay sent me out for a job; I couldn't say no.'

Sympathetically – and quite drunkenly, I patted his arm, then flashed him another smile. 'You go the roof, I'll be there in a sec.'


'Oh my God, look at the moon! It's so full and round and beautiful and just.. Are you going to turn into a werewolf now?'

Jax laughed and I couldn't help but giggle along at the sound. 'You're fucking pissed, you know that?' He looked at the neatly lined up empty beer bottles and two bottles of whiskey, my black pumps standing forlornly next to them. 'How much did you drink tonight, anyway?'

I furrowed my brows as I tried to recount the evening, but my thoughts were a jumbled mess and one beer flowed over into another. 'Three? Four, maybe? Definitely not more than six!' I cracked up, turning to look at him as he lay beside me, and gave him a playful push. 'You have a bad influence on me, Mister! Before I met you, I was a completely respectable, proper young girl. And now.. now I'm stealing cigarettes off of unsuspecting males!'

'I still can't believe you did that, El. Fuck, if I'd known that was what you were up to, I'd have let you steal a second one for me.'

I leaned my elbow on his chest, propping my head up so I could look at him without seeing double. 'And what would I get from that?'

'What would you want?' His voice was low, husky and I didn't register how close we suddenly were until his lips crashed onto mine.

All remaining sense of sanity was lost soon after.