Clary's POV
I had a terrible headache. I wasn't sure where I was right now, nothing looked familiar and I didn't pay attention at all how we had gotten here. We were indoors, but there were no windows, it was cooler, and not well lit, like we were in a basement. There were cement floors, and the metal shelves had miscellaneous items on them, like wires and tools. We had been here for a while, but I had no idea how long. I was sure Jace had to be going crazy right now, but I had promised I wouldn't talk to anybody, wouldn't use the phone, wouldn't alert anybody where I was. Not that I had a cell phone on me anyway and I hadn't seen a phone here. I was told it was very likely Jace was being closely watched by my father and his phone calls monitored. If I believed nothing else Michael told me, I believed my father was his enemy, and I wasn't going to do anything that would lead my father directly here, not after Michael almost died saving me.
Michael lay on a metal table with just a simple sheet thrown over it. He was still wearing the same bloody shorts he had run in. There was an IV in his arm, and he was unconscious. His arm was bandaged where the bullet had been taken out and his abdomen was bandaged from the other bullet. I sat in a simple metal folding chair next to him. I was wearing the same bloody clothes I had worn running. I had my legs pulled up to my chest. I held Michael's hand in mine and wrapped one arm tightly around my knees, as though I was trying to physically hold myself together. I was terrified and shaken. Every time I blinked I saw a blur of horrifying memories.
"…You need to let go." Will said in a soothing voice as he tried to pry my fingers free from the vice grip I had on Michael. Some part of me registered that Will was here, in the woods, and that he knew first aid, but I was too in shock to think.
Jace's POV
I could still see Blackwell's gray lifeless face when I closed my eyes. I could hear the blaring sirens of the emergency vehicles and the barking of the cadaver dogs with each body they found in the woods. I could almost smell the stench of death in the air, or maybe that was the smell from me emptying the contents of my stomach into the Lake. By the time the fourth body bag was brought from the woods I couldn't breathe. I was losing hope. I just felt like I'd already lost her, like she was already gone.
I rubbed my hands over my face and stared at the ceiling, I had no sense of time. After I arrived at the Morgenstern's estate it was like I was on lockdown. They wouldn't let me leave the property; at least not alone. I could leave with a team of guards if I wanted to go anywhere. I just wanted to go for a drive, by myself, clear my head, check at the spots Clary and I frequented, but I was told repeatedly it could be dangerous. As soon as things were safe, there was information, somebody was in custody, or Clary was found, I would be free to go, but for now I was to remain in the safety of the estate, just like Jonathan. Like I cared what Jonathan had to do? After several arguments with Clary's father, which it didn't take me long at all to start calling him Valentine, mainly because it seemed to piss him off, I ended up storming off to the third floor east wing. Nothing else here really reminded me of Clary, but we had been in this master suite together, even if it was just briefly.
Where was Clary? The matches, the runner, and all those things she had been fretting about suddenly started to float around in my head. Maybe she was right, maybe there was something to be worried about. I was scared. I was so afraid something happened to her. I'd never been so terrified in my life.
The only information I was given by the cops was that Clary was still missing. Valentine wasn't telling me much of anything, though I'd been avoiding him since our last little argument. Jordan's words floated in my head, what I could remember anyhow.
"There were four bodies in the woods…They all died from gunshot wounds…A 9mm Glock was recovered from the scene…No sign of Clary…Twenty-one horses have been accounted for; unfortunately they all perished in the blaze…There is one horse unaccounted for, Wayfarer's stall was found open and empty…The fire was deliberately set…Two cars were pulled from the lake earlier…Both drivers dead…They were believed to have worked for Valentine…So that leaves us where we are now. Looks like six dead employees of Valentine's and Clary is missing…oh and that's on top of the 21 dead horses and Wayfarer missing."
I remembered the panic stricken look on Alec's face as he and Magnus came running down the hill towards me. He started asking a million questions, and luckily Maia and Jordan were there to stave him off, because I could barely breathe, let alone talk. I remembered when Izzy and Simon showed up. The big mystery solved, they had gone for a walk up the road to have coffee at a little cafe. Simon kept his cool, getting engaged in a serious conversation with Jordan about the facts, but Izzy wrapped her arms around my neck and just started crying, and that's when I just lost it.
My eyes were burning. I could taste the bile in the back of my throat and I swallowed hard as I sat up in bed. My stomach turned all over again. My body was trembling. I climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. I had to keep myself held together.
It felt like every five minutes somebody else knocked on my door to see how I was, offer me something to eat, something to drink, or update me. Though every update was the same, there was never anything to report. Another knock on the bedroom door and I turned off the sink and blotted my face with a hand towel. I could hear the door squeaking open, likely Valentine, because I couldn't imagine anybody else would be so forward.
"Jace…" Valentine's distinct voice carried into the bathroom. I scoffed. I really wasn't up to go another round with him right now. I lazily turned around and was taken aback by the group of half a dozen or so men dressed in black that were with Valentine, his guards. It was a rather intimidating site. I tried to remember if I had ever seen Valentine walking around the estate with this many guards before. My pulse started to sore as I immediately jumped to a number of conclusions as to why Valentine had brought all these men with him. My mind raced through flashbacks of the club. I wouldn't stand a chance against these guys. I found myself glancing around the room for anything close I might be able to use as a weapon…I was shocked to the point of being momentarily frozen in place when I realized one of the guards was carrying a seemingly unconscious red head, Clary.
Clary was in what appeared to be hospital scrubs and she was definitely not moving. The guard gently laid her down on the bed and stepped away. Without hesitation I walked over and scooped up her hand in both of mine as I sat on the edge of the bed. I brought her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles gently.
"Honey wake up." I pleaded softly. I was relieved that she was here, and she appeared to have no injuries, there was no blood, no scratches, or wrapped wounds. I could see her chest rise and fall, but she wasn't awake. Why wasn't she waking up? I could feel my eyes burning.
"Jace!" Valentine snapped. I looked over at him blinking. I felt a wet trickle down my right cheek and quickly swatted away the tear that had escaped. I hadn't even registered at what point the guards left the room, shutting the door behind them.
"Have you listened to a word I've said?" He questioned in a stern voice. I shook my head slightly as I furrowed my eyebrows. My concentration had completely been on Clary. I had no idea what he or anybody else had said.
"She doesn't have any injuries. They gave her something to relax her, to make her sleep." Valentine said evenly. I nodded slowly as I returned my eyes to her still face.
"What happened to her? How did she get here? Who gave her something to make her sleep?"
"I'm not sure what happened. What I know is she was wandering along the side of the road, sounds like she was about halfway between the cottage and the estate. She was picked up by a police officer that happened to come upon her, and she was just covered in blood. She didn't say anything, so they didn't know who she was, but I have contacts at the hospital that were aware of the situation and they called as soon as they saw her come in. It appeared she was in shock. She was thoroughly examined; she barely has a scratch on her, no concussion either. None of the blood she had on her when she came in was hers. They gave her something to relax her at the hospital; she'll likely sleep for a few hours anyway." I glanced up briefly. Though he wasn't being overly friendly, in his own way I felt like he was being civil, he was actually talking to me, giving me information. He could have just as easily told me nothing.
"Was she awake at the hospital? Did she say anything to you? Did she tell the doctors what happened to her?" My voice was soft, but my emotions were all over the place. I was beyond relieved that Clary was here, but she was unconscious and that bothered me a lot. Valentine shook his head.
"She was awake when she first arrived at the hospital, but medicated shortly thereafter. She said very little that was coherent. She doesn't appear to remember anything that happened to her. The doctors believe she's suffering from a fugue state, which if I understood correctly, more or less means she has a short period of amnesia where she ended up wandering through the woods. There is a slight chance the missing memories will come back, but more likely she's blocked them out permanently." I was still worried, speculating what she could have possibly been through. Though anger was starting to seep into my emotions, he knew where she was, for how long I didn't know, but Valentine knew long enough to go and get her and bring her back, and he didn't tell me anything.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I was trying not to get angry with him, but it was getting harder and harder. I knew I should be thrilled he was answering my questions, which for Valentine seemed gracious, but I couldn't believe he didn't tell me he found Clary as soon as he heard something. He sighed.
"They weren't certain it was Clarissa when she arrived at the hospital, so I didn't alert you at the time. I didn't want to get your hopes up and find out it was just another girl. There have been several reports all day of possible sightings of Clarissa. It would have been illogical for me to alert you every time somebody thought they saw her, besides I wasn't even alerted every time Starkweather received a report…" He held out a small clear bag to me that I hadn't realized he was holding.
"…Her clothes and shoes were discarded at the hospital, but her jewelry was removed and should all be here. Do let me know if anything is missing."
"Thank you." I said softly as I reflexively took the bag. My breath caught and I had a terribly queasy feeling when I looked closely at the bag. There was her watch, a pair of stud earrings, and her engagement ring. They were all covered in blood. I could taste acid in the back of my throat. I was going to be sick again. God, what had she been through? My eyes burned as I tried to reassure myself she was alright, she was going to be fine, she was right here. I took a deep breath and let go of her hand. I quickly wiped away another stray tear.
"You look a little green there Jace." Valentine's voice broke the brief period of eerie silence and I jumped as the bag fell to my lap. I looked up at him. He was looking down at me with an intrigued expression on his face. I rubbed my hands over my face.
"Everything is just covered in blood." I said quietly. He made a noise that sounded like he was amused.
"Don't tell me you faint at the sight of blood." I glared up at him.
"I'm Sorry. I guess I forgot. This is probably an everyday thing for you." I snapped. His face darkened.
"Don't make the mistake to think there are many out there so bold as to cross me so blatantly…I'm more inclined at this point to think this is an attack against you anyhow." I shook my head.
"Should I even bother asking why?" He chuckled.
"It's becoming increasingly obvious to me that you're the common denominator here. Your horse, your fiancée. The fact Clarissa is my daughter isn't well known. I'm much more apt to lean in the direction that whatever befell her was directly related to her connection with you. Even the altercation at the club, you were the pivotal point there as well were you not?" I rolled my eyes.
"Great, so you're blaming me for everything. Nice. Well I haven't pissed anybody off lately, so I'm still betting that this is all you. Probably one of those 7,000 people you fired right?" I asked sarcastically. He shook his head with a slight smirk.
"You're awfully sensitive. I didn't say I was blaming you, I just said I feel that you're more likely to be the target than me or my daughter." I furrowed my eyebrows at him.
"You knew what was happening when you came by this morning didn't you? You just didn't tell me." He shook his head.
"I most certainly didn't know where she was."
"No, but you knew about Blackwell. You knew you had dead men out there. You knew about the cars that ended up in the lake. You knew about the fire. You didn't think I deserved to know?"
"Oh, well yes…That I knew…I didn't think telling you would make a difference. You obviously didn't have any information that would help with finding Clarissa, making you aware of the extent of the situation would just upset you further and you appeared to be rather distressed as it was."
"Did you do this? Did you do all of this to scare her into living with you?"
"Don't be ridiculous."
"I don't know if I think that's a ridiculous assumption to make. You really want her to live with you. You tried bribing her, bribing me, why not try scaring her?" He shook his head slightly.
"I wouldn't kill my own men. That's just absurd."
"Is it? Maybe for a normal person, but for you? Is it really that absurd?"
"Normal person? That's such an ambiguous expression. What really makes one normal?"
"Well you certainly aren't normal. I know that."
"Jace, don't begin to act as though you know anything about me."
"Ok, then why doesn't any of this bother you? A normal person would be affected, and you're acting like nothing happened. People are dead. Your men are dead. I saw the bodies being taken out of the woods, your men's bodies. Clary was missing. Why don't you care?"
"I care Jace. I care more than you know."
"You don't act like you care."
"Why? Because I didn't become sick and have an anxiety attack when I saw a little blood? Not to mention the waterworks display you're failing to hide."
"What the hell is wrong with you? A little blood? You call four dead bodies a little blood? And waterworks? I admit I had a few tears, but no matter what you say I don't believe you've never cared so much for somebody that the thought of losing them didn't move you to shed a tear or two. You want Clary in your life so bad; I guess I just assumed there was a part of you that genuinely had to care about her. How can you act like nothing is going on?" He exhaled.
"Jace I wouldn't be very good at my job if I had a panic attack every time something like this happened….You're just a boy. You don't need this stress in your life. It's obviously so much more than you can handle. Clarissa has been recovered unharmed and I am a man of my word, you're free to go, and I recommend you do so. Go home. Forget you ever met my daughter. You're an attractive young man. I'm sure young ladies just line up to be with you."
"No. I'm staying right here. Clary and I are in love. Don't you get that? We're engaged. I'm not going to leave her no matter what you say. I don't know what you have against me, but I can't believe you're just bent out of shape because you think I have a bad character."
"You think you are in love, but you're not. You're still a child; you don't even know what love is. True love is as fictitious as leprechauns. Right now you feel an overwhelming pull that draws you to my daughter, but that feeling isn't love, and will fade, as all rushed declarations of adoration ultimately do…I find your regard at present for my daughter to be your weakness though, and therefore I can't help but focus on that vulnerability. It's practically subconscious, a force of habit really, to recognize and exploit the vulnerabilities of others." He sounded so nonchalant when he spoke, we could have been talking about the weather.
"I think you have issues. Serious, you need extensive therapy, issues. I think you were in love with Clary's mother and when she left you-"
"DON'T! You know nothing, nothing, of my relationship with Jocelyn and you'd do well not to insinuate you did…I do sympathize with your predicament Jace. As a young man you still believe in a world where true love exists and I'm merely telling you the truth, it doesn't. Just as your beliefs in the Tooth Fairy needed to be dispelled by your father when you became old enough, I merely feel you're too old to believe in childish fantasies such as true love. I must insist you go your own way."
"What is your problem with me? Why can't you just leave Clary and I alone?"
"Jace, I'm trying to help you, both of you. You're really looking at this all wrong. In the grand scheme of things the relationship you have with my daughter is predestined to fail. You come from two different worlds that should never intertwine. Your relationship goes against the natural balance of things. I'm purely trying to circumvent an unnecessarily courtship that has no future. I would have left you both alone, but now I can't. It's really not possible. At this point it's rather apparent that should I leave you both alone, one or both of you will die. I've carefully thought this over and I believe it's in your best interest to stay away from my daughter. I think you'd be the safest. I think you'd both be the safest. I'm really just looking out for your safety."
"Really? It sounds a lot more like you're threatening me."
"Of course not, but isn't it obvious that there is somebody willing to kill to get to one or both of you?"
"Well I'm still not convinced you didn't do that yourself."
"That's just your mind trying to make things seem simpler than they are. You're trying to diminish some of your anxiety by removing the unknown variables…" I glared at Valentine.
"…Don't be angry with me because you're frustrated." Valentine's arms were crossed over his chest and I noticed that he had an envelope in his hand that had my name on it.
"What is that? That envelope?" He looked at the envelope like he had just realized he was holding it.
"Oh…I told Clarissa at the hospital that you were here, she asked me to give this to you." He handed me the small envelope almost hesitantly and I took it and opened it. There was a small piece of paper folded in half.
Jace,
I need you to go home, and not just back to the cottage, but all the way back home. I love you very much, but I just really need to be alone right now. I'll call you in a few days.
All my love,
Clary
I folded the paper again and put it back in the envelope. I looked up at Valentine.
"Did you read this?" Though the envelope was sealed, I wouldn't put it past him to open it and reseal it.
"Of course not." He said evenly, though he might as well have said of course, because that was more of the vibe I was getting. I just nodded. Though the writing looked like Clary's the only reasons I could think of her asking me to leave was if somebody made her write that letter, or if she thought she was protecting me. If she really just needed some time alone, I could have stayed at the cottage, she asked me to go all the way home. Something was up, and there was no way I was leaving. Valentine suddenly walked closer to the side of the bed and lifted Clary's right hand. He seemed to be looking at it carefully.
"Is she right handed Jace?" He asked evenly.
"Yeah. Why?" I asked with my eyebrows furrowed.
"Just curious." He said as he put her hand back down on the bed. There was a knock on my bedroom door, but before I could even answer, Valentine did.
"Come in." He said evenly. Sophie poked her head in.
"Pardon me…Mr. Wayland, would you be available for company? There are several individuals here to see you, and if it's not too forward I would like to note your sister and brother are among the most persistent of the group." I was taken by surprise. I really didn't expect anybody would come all the way out to the estate, but I guess part of me didn't think they would be let in even if they came. I nodded.
"Sure." Sophie inclined her head.
"I'll send them up Sir." She closed the door to the bedroom. I looked back at Valentine.
"I'll leave you to your guests then." He said simply before leaving without another word. I stood up and put the bloody bag of Clary's jewelry on the nightstand and slipped the envelope into the top nightstand drawer. I scooped up her hand as I sat on the edge of the bed again. It seemed like no sooner had I sat down than I heard Alec's harsh voice.
"Don't you answer your fucking phone?" Alec snapped as he ran over to me. I hadn't even heard the door open, though maybe Valentine left it opened when he left. Alec never snapped at me so harsh for no reason. A moment later Magnus, Izzy, Simon, Maia, and Jordan came into view. I had dodged everyone's calls over the last few hours; I really didn't feel like talking to anyone. I was being elbowed and pushed out of the way as everybody seemed to want to get closer to Clary. I happened to notice Izzy had Clary's purse, and she left it on the bureau before she kicked off her heels and crawled right onto the bed next to Clary.
"Is she alright?" Alec snapped as he scooped up Clary's hand and held it to his cheek.
"Yes, but-"
"What's wrong with her?" Izzy shrieked as she pushed back Clary's hair and poked and prodded at her without any response.
"Nothing just-'
"What happened to her?" Jordan questioned as he crossed his arms and looked on.
"I don't know, but-" Magnus kicked off his flip flops and positioned himself on the bed next to Izzy.
"Why didn't you call us?" Simon asked as he sat on the edge of the bed next to Clary, more or less phasing me out completely.
"I was going to-"
"She looks dead." Magnus muttered as he lifted her hand and dropped it.
"She's asleep-"
"She's fine though?" Alec asked softly before kissing the palm of Clary's hand and pressing it to his cheek again.
"Yeah she's-"
"You didn't say what happened yet." Jordan said inquisitively.
"I was about to-"
"What happened to her clothes?" Izzy questioned.
"They-"
"Who sleeps this soundly?" Magnus muttered as he lifted her hand and dropped it for the fourth or fifth time.
"Stop that. She's medicated. They-"
"Tell us what-" Simon started.
"SHUT IT!...Let the poor guy speak." Maia snapped, silencing the seemingly never ending questions that were being directed at me. She smiled at me and nodded. I took a deep breath. I quickly updated everybody on what I knew and answered any questions I could.
"…I'm thrilled to see you all, but what are you doing here?" Izzy rolled her eyes.
"We all got text messages from that Starkweather guy saying Clary was fine and that she was being brought here. We tried calling you, but you didn't answer your phone." The door opened again and Will rushed in.
"She's good? She's here? She's alright?" He rattled off nearly out of breath as he rushed over to the side of the bed. Simon moved a little out of the way, but Alec wasn't budging for anyone, nor was he releasing Clary's hand anytime soon.
"She's fine. They gave her something at the hospital to relax her." I hadn't realized there was a small bottle of pills on the nightstand, but Will snatched them up.
"Relax her? She'll be out cold until Labor Day." He said sarcastically as he put the bottle back down. Alec finally released Clary's hand only to pick up the bottle of pills Will had just put down.
"So wait, you didn't say what happened to her this morning." Maia asked. I shrugged.
"Her father said she doesn't seem to remember anything that happened. The doctors call it a fugue state, like a short period of amnesia." For some reason, that last thing Valentine did nagged at me, and I had a feeling a cop might be able to connect the dots if anybody could.
"Question for you Jordan, or anyone really…Clary's father asked me if she was right or left handed and seemed to inspect her right hand, I mean really inspect it. Am I missing something?" There were several shrugs, but Jordan furrowed his eyebrows and took a couple steps closer to the bed and picked up Clary's right hand gently.
"She looks like she's got a slide bite." I furrowed my eyebrows at him.
"What the hell does that mean?" I snapped harsher than I meant to. Will took a half step closer to Jordan and started looking at Clary's hand too.
"You get a slide bite when the slide of a semi-automatic pistol comes back and nicks your hand. It makes marks between your thumb and your forefinger…" Jordan was pointing at two red lines, scratches more or less, on Clary's hand. I ran my hand through my hair.
"You think she shot a gun?" He shrugged.
"Looks like she might have."
"Where did she get a gun? She take yours?" He shook his head.
"No. I have a revolver. It wouldn't have left a mark like that. She had to shoot something like a 9mm Glock." Jordan said heavily as he put her hand down gently. I remembered hearing Jordan say a 9mm Glock was found at the scene.
"That's what they recovered at the scene." Jordan nodded. I ran my hands over my face.
"What the hell happened out there?" I muttered more to myself than anybody else. Jordan shrugged.
"I don't know what to tell you man. Try talking to her once the drugs wear off. Maybe she'll remember something later." I nodded.
"Ok. Thanks. I'll keep you posted." He nodded. We all talked briefly, but I ended up arranging for everybody to go on a tour of the estate. Even with all the craziness, Izzy and Magnus couldn't wait to see what the mansion looked like, and I think Jordan saw this as an opportunity to do a little snooping around. I absentmindedly wondered if he was wearing a wire. I didn't want to leave Clary's side, even though she was out cold. Alec was quick to offer to stay with me, but Magnus more or less dragged him out of the room. Will said he had taken a tour of the estate before, so he didn't care to have another tour. He stayed with me for a little while and talked idly, mainly about how the Yankees were doing and how Jem was. I ended up asking him to sit with Clary for a few minutes while I went and cleaned her engagement ring. I took the Ziploc bag and walked into the kitchen area. I took her engagement ring out and put the bag on the counter. Right now, for some reason, I just needed her to put her ring back on. I couldn't explain why, but I just felt like the longer she had it off, the less likely she'd put it back on, and that letter she wrote me wasn't helping my feeling of uneasiness. I put the stopper in the sink and turned the hot water on low. I put a couple drops of dish soap on the ring like I had seen Maryse do on occasion. I rubbed the soap into the ring and watched as the suds turned an increasingly darker shade of pink. I rinsed the ring to a sparkling clean and gently dried it with a paper towel. I walked back into the bedroom. Will decided he was going to head out so he took off.
I sat on the bed next to Clary and held her hand and stroked her hair. After a short time she started to stir a bit and opened her eyes.
"Clary?" I asked hesitantly. She sat up, but she didn't look at me. She just looked like she was looking way off in the distance. I put my hand under her chin and gently turned her face towards me. Her eyes were looking down. I could feel my heart beating like crazy. Clary was here, right here in front of me, I could touch her, I was touching her, yet she could have just as easily been on the other side of the world for how distant she felt. She felt a million miles away.
"Look at me." I said softly. She looked at me and furrowed her eyebrows, but she looked confused, almost like she didn't know who I was. I dropped her chin and held out my open hand with her ring in my palm.
"I cleaned it for you." I said softly. She picked up the ring and looked at it like she was deep in thought, or so confused she had no idea what was going on.
"Jace gave me this." She said softly. Ok, she was obviously very confused right now. Probably high as a kite from all the medication she was on. I didn't want to push her, but I was losing my mind right now. I figured if I played along maybe she'd talk.
"He did?" I questioned. She nodded. A couple tears trickled down her cheeks, but she didn't say anything at all. After a short period of excruciating silence I took a frustrated breath.
"Are you going to talk to me?" She didn't look at me. It was silent for a long moment.
"Thank you." She said softly. I furrowed my eyebrows at her.
"For what?" She looked up at me.
"For saving my life." I took a deep breath. She sounded so confused. I pushed a stray curl behind her ear.
"I would do anything for you." She shook her head. She reached out and took my hand palm side up. She put the ring in my palm and curled my fingers over it. I felt my heart racing. I wasn't sure how much of what she was doing was her being confused or coherent, but having her give me back my ring was a little more than I could take right now. She looked into my eyes, though her eyes looked somewhat glossed over.
"No. You wouldn't. You would do anything for him." She seemed to close her eyes and her head dipped forward. I quickly put my hand on her shoulder and shook her slightly and her head popped up and she blinked several times.
"Who? You said I would do anything for him…Who were you talking about?" She just looked at me like she was confused.
"Jace." She said softly. I took a deep breath. Ok, I wasn't getting anywhere with this. I reached over and opened the nightstand drawer. I took out the envelope and opened it. I handed her the letter.
"Did somebody tell you to write this?" She looked like she was reading it, but I had no idea if she could focus enough to read right now. I wasn't sure if it was worth me asking her much of anything, but it just nagged at me. She looked up at me.
"Why are you here?" She asked somewhat groggily. I took a deep breath.
"You want me to leave?" She looked down.
"No." I shook my head.
"Then why did you write this?" She looked up at me, but she looked more like she was looking though me, not really at me.
"Told…me…to." She mumbled as she closed her eyes again. I quickly shook her and her eyes popped open.
"Who Clary? Who told you to write this?" She just looked at me with that confused look.
"You did." I took an exasperated breath. I wasn't getting any answers.
"I didn't tell you to write this Clary. Who told you to write this? Did your father tell you to write this?" She shook her head.
"No." She fell over sideways on the bed as she closed her eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows at her and shook my head. She was completely out of it.
"Clary?" I said softly. She didn't stir. I shook her gently.
"Clary honey, who told you to write this?" I shook her again, but she still didn't stir. I wanted answers, but I felt a little guilty about trying to get them this way. I brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. She was sound asleep. I decided I should probably leave her alone so she could rest. I just needed to do one more thing first, I put her engagement ring on her finger myself, but she still didn't move.
I decided to take a quick shower. It was almost 1:00 and I was in the same running clothes I had worn all morning. The shower relaxed me a little, but I still had a web of questions in my head. I walked around the suite and glanced in the drawers and in the closet. I just wanted something simple and casual to wear. I didn't want to put on a damn suit. There were a lot more clothes than there had been the day before. It was so odd, Valentine seemed to be trying hard to get me out of the picture, yet there were just as many things in this suite for me as there were for Clary. I finally found a pair of boxers and running shorts and threw them on. I wanted to be close to Clary, but I didn't want to wake her again. I ended up leaving her in bed and went into the living room to watch some TV. I came across the Yankee game. Twice maids came to the door during the game to offer me food. The first time a maid came with finger sandwiches and the second time with tea and scones. The first maid that came to the door rang the doorbell and I panicked. I jumped up off the couch like a bolt afraid the noise would wake Clary, but she didn't move. The second maid rang the bell as well, but again Clary didn't stir. After the game I thumbed through the channels until I found the news and I left it on. Over the next hour the gang stopped by to say they were leaving, Valentine stopped by to check on Clary, but he just walked right in, Starkweather stopped by to check on Clary, but he just knocked once and opened the door. Another maid came by with a small salad and half of a chicken club sandwich. She rang the doorbell as well, but I didn't rush to the door this time. It took three rings for me to get up and Clary was still out cold. It was around 5:00 and I absentmindedly realized nobody had mentioned when dinner was, but for some reason I really couldn't believe any of the food they had brought so far was supposed to be dinner. We did have a kitchen on our wing, maybe I was supposed to contact somebody to arrange dinner. I had no idea.
Ding Dong
I couldn't get use to the idea of a bedroom needing a doorbell. The door was unlocked and I already knew Valentine and Starkweather wouldn't bother ringing the doorbell, so I was leaning towards that the person at the door was another maid. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to be bothered so I just sat on the couch and glanced into the bedroom. Clary still looked like she was sound asleep. I was getting hungry, but I couldn't think of eating, not without Clary. I knew she hadn't eaten all day. I didn't even remember her having anything before she went for her run. The front door clicked as a person entered the suite. I looked up to see Sophie poke her head in.
"Mr. Wayland?" Sophie said as she walked in hesitantly with a tray. I wondered if she thought she'd have better luck getting me to eat than the maids had, but I just couldn't eat.
"Sir, I've been asked to bring you a message." She said as she put down the tray of food on the coffee table. I didn't even bother looking at what she brought, though I could smell the steam rising from the food. This was the first hot meal I had been offered. It kind of smelled like chicken noodle soup.
"I've come to tell you Wayfarer has been located." I furrowed my eyebrows at her.
"Where? How? Is he alright?" She smiled.
"He appears to be fine. It seems that he has been here all day. He was transported here early this morning. The Horse Trainer had no knowledge of what has been transpiring this afternoon, so felt no need to inform the residence. The man that transported Wayfarer just said that he was instructed to deliver the horse since you would soon be residing at the estate. As it was a possibility yesterday, no additional questions were asked. Of course word traveled rather quickly upon your arrival this afternoon, so it just seemed like confirmation of the instructions the Horse Trainer received."
"So Wayfarer is here? You're sure it's him?" She nodded.
"Yes Sir. Our Horse Trainer is familiar with Wayfarer. He was born right here on this farm. He trained him until he was two, at which point he was sold to Mr. Michael Wayland." I furrowed my eyebrows at her.
"You don't look old enough to have been working here that long. Wayfarer's like nineteen." She smiled.
"No Sir. I have not been working here for that long. I was informed of that information just shortly ago by the Horse Trainer." I furrowed my eyebrows further.
"Who's the Horse Trainer?" She smiled.
"Thomas Sir. Perhaps you met him yesterday when you were down by the stables?" I vaguely remembered Clary telling a man that she wasn't going riding yesterday. He was fixing grain buckets, but I couldn't be sure what the man's name was. I wanted to see Wayfarer and I wanted to talk to this man. I didn't hear the name Michael Wayland that often, and I never met anybody before that knew my father.
"Where's Valentine? Does he know about Wayfarer?" She nodded with a slight smirk. I absentmindedly realized I was probably the only person that ever called him by his first name.
"Yes Sir. He's been informed. He's out, but I'm not aware of where he is off to at the moment." I nodded.
"Can I see Wayfarer?" She smiled.
"Of course. I understand he's sound if you'd like to go riding. It might help take your mind off things a bit." I nodded slowly and looked back at the bedroom where Clary was asleep.
"If you'd like I can have a maid watch over her Sir. I can ring down to the stables if she wakes."
"That would be great. Thanks…" I started to walk towards the bedroom and hesitated. Not that I couldn't' ride in running shorts, but I had a feeling if I asked there might be something more comfortable I could wear.
"…Are there clothes I can ride in here?" She nodded.
"Certainly. Down at the stables in the tack room. Thomas can show you."
"Thanks." I checked on Clary one more time before I threw on a white t-shirt and sneakers. Sophie said she'd stay until a maid arrived and I grabbed my cell phone as I took off towards the barn.
The man I was fairly sure I had seen the other day was walking out of the barn. He smiled when he saw me.
"Mr. Wayland. Sophie called down to say you'd be coming shortly." I nodded.
"Thomas, right?" He nodded.
"Yes Sir…Looking for your horse?" I nodded.
"Yeah." He led me through the barn and out the other end to a smaller paddock just passed the mares and their foals. The paddock was small, only about a quarter of an acre. Wayfarer was with one other horse, another gelding. He had his head to the ground chomping at the grass.
"He's alright?" I questioned. I had been so concerned about Clary all day I really didn't spend much time thinking about Wayfarer, but he was really the only pet I ever had, and I had gotten him from my father on my third birthday. He meant a lot to me.
"He's been a little nippy and aggressive. I can tell he's stressed, but that isn't uncommon when you first relocate a horse. I gave him an herbal supplement, it seems to be helping. I left him in with Blaze; they appear to get along alright." I walked up to the side of the fence and whistled. Wayfarer bolted over to me. He snorted and neighed as he pranced and threw his head in the air. Thomas laughed.
"He looks happy to see you." I climbed in between the fence rails and patted his neck and rubbed his face. He did seem stressed. The way his ears stayed perked up and he didn't drop his head when I rubbed his forehead. He was too alert, but it was possible some of that was because he was at a new stable
with strange horses. I wanted to check him over and brush him down, so I asked Thomas to grab a halter for me and I led Wayfarer into the stable.
Clary's POV
I was trapped in my dream, or maybe I was awake I wasn't even sure anymore.
My hands and clothes were covered in blood, Nate's blood, Agramon's blood, and Michael's blood. The images played over and over like a broken record. I saw Nate lying there, bleeding to death, repeatedly I watched the same gloomy outcome; we were never able to save him. Even though I knew what was going to happen, I had seen it again and again, I watched Michael get shot, and I was never able to stop it from happening. I watched as Agramon strangled Michael until he stopped thrashing. The only part that deviated, the only part that changed, now I was running as fast as I could through the woods trying to outrun somebody or something, but I never saw my pursuer. I couldn't look behind me, I knew if I did I would trip and fall and they would attack. I had tried screaming so many times, but I couldn't make a sound. I was terrified and alone and I knew I couldn't run forever. I was running out of time. Clary A gentle masculine voice drifted into my mind. It wasn't my pursuer, I somehow knew it was somebody else, but the voice wasn't clear enough to know who was speaking to me or where they were. Claaary The voice came softly again. I glanced from side to side and pushed myself faster, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. Clary The voice whispered, closer, so much closer, but I couldn't see anybody.
Somewhere between awake and asleep I felt warmth against my cheek. I was trying to pull myself from the nightmare, but it seemed harder to wake than normal. I felt a soft touch against my lips trailing from side to side ever so lightly. Clary Just a whisper of my name, barely spoken. A light warm pressure was against my lips and not even yet awake my body reacted and returned the gentle pressure. Now both my cheeks felt the warmth against them as my mouth parted and my tongue ever so softly caressed his. I was awake enough to know something was wrong with this kiss. It was gentle and tender, but very very wrong. No matter how hard he was trying to hide it, I could taste the subtle distinct taste of kissing a smoker. My eyes no longer felt so heavy and I was able to open them. Two hands gently cradled my face and lips softly moved against mine, but that toe blonde hair did not belong to Jace. My hands shot up and pushed against a hard unyielding chest as my mouth snapped shut and became still. Jonathan had been sitting on the edge of the bed, but his eyes flew open and he leaped up as though I had electrically shocked him.
"Jonathan?" I said somewhere between a question and a warning. I sat up quickly and wiped the back of my hand against my mouth. I pushed my back against my headboard, my knees pulled up to my chest. He was shifting uneasily on his feet and looking down scratching the back of his head. He looked rather uncomfortable.
"Clary, I apologize. You must believe me when I say my intentions were merely to check on your welfare. I had heard you were involved in some sort of incident this morning, but the particulars of what transpired was not disclosed to me. Upon finding you sleeping, you appeared rather restless. I had merely tried to wake you, however after multiple attempts you did not stir. I became captivated by your beauty and I was quite obviously not thinking clearly. I know I shouldn't have, I took liberties one should never take, but I became overcome with an unexplainable necessity to know what your lips would feel like against my own. When your lips moved against mine I lost any rational I had left and I found myself completely carried away. I regret my forward and completely inappropriate behavior. I'll go. I should go." He rambled off still looking at the ground. He looked up at me for just a second before he turned, but that's all it took. Those eyes, those nearly black eyes; I could have sworn Jonathan had green eyes, like me, like my mother.
"Jonathan?" I heard myself saying in a questioning tone as his hand grabbed the doorknob to the bedroom door. I was completely confused right now. I was just realizing I was at my father's estate. I was just starting to put the pieces together of what had happened today, the things I remembered anyway. Jonathan turned around and ran his hand through his hair as he gave me an uneasy look.
"Yes." He said timidly.
"Come here." I found myself saying softly. I was mesmerized by his eyes. I could barely register the fact he had just kissed me. He walked hesitantly over to the side of the bed. I just stared at him, he looked uneasy as he shifted his weight between his feet and his eyes glanced back and forth between me and the floor.
"You're upset, which is entirely understandable. You have every right to be angry. However, you're not saying anything. It's disheartening. It bothers me so. Do say something." I narrowed my eyes at him, not out of anger, just out of confusion.
"Jonathan? You're Jonathan Morgenstern?" He nodded.
"Yes, but I had rather thought we established that when I saw you down by the stables yesterday." I shook my head slightly.
"You look different today. You had sunglasses on yesterday. I-" My thoughts and my word were cut off by my father's very distinguished voice booming from the other room.
"JONATHAN!" He called out in an elevated voice shortly before the bedroom door flew open.
"Father." Jonathan said with a startled expression.
"I told you explicitly to stay out of this wing. Do you have some purpose unbeknownst to me for your being here?" Valentine said as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"I…apologize. I'll…leave." Jonathan stumbled over his words as he made a couple step towards the door. Valentine stood in the doorway with an intrigued look on his face.
"Did you just apologize to me?" Jonathan shook his head.
"I was speaking to Clary, obviously." Valentine furrowed his eyebrows.
"You're acting very peculiar. Why is that?" Jonathan just furrowed his eyebrow and crossed his arms as he shook his head slightly.
"Do you really wish to discuss my behavior in regards to our unexplained house guests?" Valentine shook his head slowly.
"No…I think not…If I find you in any part of this wing again your birthday is as good as canceled." Jonathan rolled his eyes.
"Father, whatever will you threaten me with once my birthday has passed?" Valentine scoffed.
"I'm sure I can think of something. However did I punish you when you were a child?" Valentine retorted in an irritated voice. A flash of something crossed Jonathan's face; my instinct was he felt intimidated.
"Leave him alone." I snapped. The words were out of my mouth before I could think twice.
"Clarissa, do not interfere in matters you know nothing about. You're just encouraging him." Valentine drawled.
"Yeah, well I'm not doing it intentionally, but maybe if you told him the truth he wouldn't be so impressionable."
"Tell me the truth about what?" Jonathan questioned with a quizzical look. Valentine furrowed his eyebrows at me.
"There is a time and place for everything and this is neither the time nor the place."
"Really, because I'm thinking this seems like the perfect time and the perfect place. Just the three of us-" Valentine cut me off.
"Clarissa!" He snapped.
"Yes Valentine? Oh I'm sorry that's not what you asked me to call you." I said sarcastically with a smirk. He shook his head.
"You're not nearly as comical as you might think young lady."
"And you're not nearly as influential as you might think you are."
"Is that so? I think given the right motivation you might change your opinion on the matter." Valentine took a step further into the room and Jonathan took a step towards him.
"Father you can't be serious!" Jonathan snapped rather harshly.
"Jonathan, why are you being so theatrical?"
"She's a guest in our house, why are you trying to frighten her?" I couldn't help but laugh and Jonathan shot me a confused look over his shoulder.
"I'm not afraid of him Jonathan. I'm afraid of whoever is trying to kill me, whoever killed your father's men, but I'm not afraid of your father." Valentine narrowed his eyes at me. I knew I was trying to push his buttons, and it was working.
"Somebody is trying to kill you? What happened?" Jonathan asked darting his eyes between mine and Valentine's.
"You know My Dear, if you were here where you belonged none of that would have happened. Those men died because you're stubborn."
"Did you just call Clary My Dear?" Jonathan questioned softly. I glared at Valentine as I knelt upright on the bed, my hands on my hips.
"Don't you dare blame this on me! None of this is my fault. Do you think I've ever had people try to kill me before? This is your fault and you're going to fix it. You can't keep me caged here all the time."
"I can certainly try…and look at you, your whole disposition screams defiant." Valentine said as he gestured his hand up and down at me.
"Is that a threat? I came here willingly. You said I had until Friday to decide." Not that I could really remembered how I got here, but I was pretty sure I came here willingly.
"True, but you can't deny circumstances have changed. Of course the decision is still yours, but I can't guarantee it will remain your decision." I furrowed my eyebrows at him.
"What the hell does that mean?" I snapped.
"Language Clarissa. I won't tolerate being spoken to so crudely." I rolled my eyes.
"That little habit is less than desirable as well." I scoffed.
"Please."
"I won't be sassed either."
"Oh my god, make me a list."
"Certainly. Every household has rules; it appears mine are a bit more stringent than you are accustomed to." He gave me an eerie smile.
"I hate to point out the obvious, but you're not making a very convincing argument for me living here."
"Why do you feel compelled to constantly challenge me? You're rather rude and disrespectful; two rebellious traits that are not becoming. I can't believe you spoke to your mother with such contempt. Can I thank the young Mr. Wayland's influence for this behavior? He seems to possess similar traits." I smirked, though I knew I never would have talked back to my mother like this. He was just pushing my buttons, and I was still having a hard time really thinking of Valentine Morgenstern as my father.
"Nope, I'm thinking whatever's wrong with me runs in my blood." He glowered at me.
"Cute. You must take after your mother My Dear, because your father is a pinnacle of good manners."
"My Dear?" Jonathan muttered. He looked like he was trying to absorb the odd confrontation going on in front of him. I'm sure not many people talked like this to his father, our father, and got away with it.
"You think? I'm not sure. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not like dear old dad through and through." Not that I really believed I was anything like him, I just felt like irritating him. He shook his head.
"A finishing school would have served you well…I wonder what the cutoff age is for such an institution." I laughed.
"You know what? I'm finished. This talk here, it's done." I climbed out of bed.
"Where are you going?" Jonathan and Valentine said at the same time. I rolled my eyes and looked at Jonathan.
"I am going outside to get some fresh air before I say something I'll regret…" I turned my gaze to Valentine.
"You want to keep him in the dark?..." I flourished my hand at Jonathan.
"…Fine…My lips are sealed…but if he tries to kiss me again, I'm telling him!" I snapped. Valentine furrowed his eyebrows at me in a look of annoyance before he quickly diverted the same gaze to Jonathan. I was thinking it took him a second to register what I just said. I walked around the bed and into the bathroom, well more specifically to the toilet. The bathroom just opened up into the bedroom, there was no way to close a door or anything, but the small room where the toilet was had a door that closed. I could hear muffled arguing, but when I came back out they were both gone. I went over to the sink and thoroughly brushed my teeth as I tried to completely suppress the memory of Jonathan kissing me. I was going to need therapy after the day I was having.
I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and took a deep breath. The light from the bathroom reflecting off my engagement ring caught my eye. It was small, but the fact I was still wearing my engagement ring gave me some comfort. I put my elbows on my knees and dropped my face into my hands. I tried to remember what happened, but it was all hazy. The dreams and reality merged. Though it wasn't the piecemeal memories that nagged at me; all I really could concentrate on right now was how much I wished Jace was here, but I knew why he wasn't. I couldn't remember giving him the note, but I remembered writing it. I had to keep reminding myself it was for the best, he was safer this way. I wished I could remember something, anything, but I couldn't. I didn't remember seeing or talking to him since we went running this morning. I wondered if I gave him the note, if I spoke with him on the phone, or if I told him face to face that I wanted him to leave; though I couldn't remember any of it. I worried he was angry, upset, or just hurt. Did he yell or argue why he thought he should stay? Maybe he tried to reason with me or beg me and I was cold and numb and just told him to go.
As I rubbed my hands over my face I felt something small and hard in my pants pocket jabbing into me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a photo and a ring. I looked at the picture. It was a black and white photo of a man and a young boy sitting on a horse together. I could see the head of the horse, and it had the same star shaped blaze Wayfarer had. I couldn't see the man's face; he was looking down at the child sitting on the horse in front of him and his face was completely blocked by a western hat he was wearing. The child was looking up at the man, and though he too was wearing a western hat, his face was completely visible. Although the photo was a black and white, I could tell the little boy, about four years of age, had light blonde curly hair. He had a smile on his face, and even though he was just a little guy, I could still see something familiar in his face. I could tell the little boy was Jace. I had no idea where I got this photograph from. I flipped the picture over and read the back. The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything. Michael had said that to me. If you're in a position to help, to make a difference, to do something, you have the responsibility to do so. I took a deep breath. I just knew that this picture was Michael trying to prove to me who he was. If I could make a difference, if I could do something, I had to.
I needed some answers though, and that's what Michael said he could give me. I just needed more information; more proof that my father was the man Michael said he was, the man my mother feared he was. I looked closely at the ring. I had no idea where it came from either. For a moment I thought it was just my father's ring, except it wasn't on a chain. It was definitely a man's ring. It was the same solid silver thick banded ring my father had. There was a solid raised W on the band, or maybe it was an M, and there were raised horseshoes on either side of it. I had so many questions right now. The only thing I could be sure of was that I had to get to Thomas, because Michael said if I had questions, I should go see Thomas. I shoved the ring and the picture back in my pocket as I sat up. I was a little irritated when some girl just walked right in my room.
"Miss, you're awake?" She asked looking a little surprised. I imagine she was supposed to check on me, but didn't expect to find me up. I nodded.
"Yeah. I was thinking of going for a walk, get some fresh air." She smiled as she walked into the room, but towards the other side of the bed.
"I think some fresh air would be agreeable." She said sweetly. She walked over and pulled the shades open before she walked back around to the side of the bed I was sitting on.
"Do you need any more of your medication Miss?" She had a bottle in her hand as she walked over to me. I reached out and took the bottle from her. When the hell did I take this? I shook my head.
"No I think I'm alright now." I glanced at the clock. It was about 5:25. Where did the day go?
"Are you hungry Miss? You've been asleep for hours." I shook my head.
"No. I just need some air." She nodded.
"Of course." I didn't even bother changing. I slipped on the only pair of sneakers that were in my closet and walked out of my room and down the hallway, but I didn't get far. I didn't even make it to the stairs before I ran into Starkweather.
"Clarissa. How are you feeling?" I nodded.
"Alright. I just could use a little fresh air." He didn't seem to be trying to stop me, but he fell in step next to me. He had his phone out and appeared to be sending a text message. I really hoped he didn't ask me anything. I was a terrible liar; I had no idea what I had already said and now I had to figure out an exceptional lie of what happened this morning. I was hoping Thomas had a good idea of what I should say. I was thrilled that my father was so distracted by Jonathan he never asked me any questions, but I figured he'd ask me soon enough. Starkweather walked quietly by my side as he typed on his phone. We maneuvered through the mansion and out the back doors.
"To the stables?" Starkweather questioned suddenly as he put his phone in his pocket. I found myself literally tripping over my feet. How did he know I wanted to go to the sables? My god did I already say something to them about Thomas, about Michael? Starkweather reached out his hands to help steady me.
"Are you alright Miss? You probably haven't had a bite to eat all day. Are you sure you're up to be walking about?" I nodded as I glanced behind me.
"There was something on the ground there. I'm fine really." He nodded as he looked over his shoulder as well. We continued walking.
"I'm sure Mr. Wayland will be just as pleased to see you as you will be to see him." I stopped abruptly and he stopped reflexively. I couldn't help it. I was panicking. He knew about Michael. What had I said? Was this a trap? He was being nicer to me than normal. I was going to die. Michael was probably already dead. I was trying to remember my exchange with my father. I couldn't remember if he acted off to me. Did he know?
"What do you mean?" I asked defensively. He furrowed his eyebrows at me.
"I had thought you wished to go to the stables to see Mr. Wayland. Is that an incorrect assumption? Is there a problem?" I could feel my pulse racing. I didn't know what to say. I was terrible at this. It felt like I was in a slow motion car accident and I just didn't know how to stop this from ending terribly badly.
"I.." I wasn't even sure what I was going to say, but I felt a combination of panic and relief as I heard Jace's voice shouting.
"Clary!" I looked over to him. He was a good hundred feet away jogging up the path.
"Jace is here!" I snapped harsher than I meant to as I looked back at Starkweather.
"Clary." Jace called again as he got a little closer.
"Jace…is here?" I questioned, though I could clearly see him. Oh shit.
"Clary." Jace said as he wrapped his arms around me. I wrapped my arms around him loosely in response. Though part of me was overjoyed to see him, a much larger part of me was completely panicking right now. He shouldn't be here.
"You're…here." I said slowly. Jace released his hold and looked at me. He had a semi-relieved look on his face, but there was something else there too I couldn't read. I'm sure I looked thoroughly confused.
"How are you doing?" I was still trying to come to grips with the fact he was here. I already messed up colossally. Why the hell was he here? The only thing Michael was adamant about that I actually agreed with was that Jace would be safest far far away from here. This was bad.
"You're here?" I muttered again.
"Did you happen to take another one of your happy pills when you awoke Clarissa?" Starkweather asked in a patronizing tone. I cast a glare at him.
"No…I just…I didn't think Jace was here. I don't remember…" I looked down.
"…anything…I don't remember much of anything." "Starkweather and Jace exchanged a few words and next thing I knew Jace was leading me down to the barn with his arm around my waist. I glanced over my shoulder. Starkweather was heading back towards the house. I remembered the note I had written for Jace earlier at the hospital, before all the drugs, then everything got hazy. I didn't remember leaving the hospital, but I had a couple broken memories of my father being at the hospital. When did Jace get here?
"You don't look happy to see me." Jace whispered. I swallowed hard.
"Of…course…I'm…happy…to see you." Even I could tell I had to really fight to get those words out of my mouth. Jace looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"That was terrible. I mean really really bad. Not convincing at all." I took a deep breath and rolled my eyes.
"I just thought you'd be somewhere else." He glanced at me sideways.
"Why honey, where else would I be but right here by your side?" He said mockingly. I furrowed my eyebrows at him.
"Somewhere far away from here." I mumbled. He was acting off, very off, not that I was the picture of normal right now either, but that wasn't the point. He shouldn't be here. He looked at me sideways.
"What?" I took a deep breath.
"I just thought maybe you went home I guess." I said hesitantly. He winked at me.
"I am home. Home is where the heart is." I rolled my eyes.
"Jace." I whined. He chuckled.
"Remember that thing you promised to do earlier, with you, me, that hot maid, and whip cream?" He said as he raised his eyebrows up and down at me. I furrowed my eyebrows at him.
"I can't remember the last several hours at all, and I have a feeling you know that and I'm sure I never agreed to do anything that involves a maid."
"You're probably right. I think she was a cook." I glared at him.
"Jace!" I scolded. He chuckled.
"So you told the doctors you didn't remember anything…Is it true? You don't remember anything since you were jogging this morning?" I rolled my eyes. I couldn't lie to Jace, let alone to his face.
"There were a few things, but I'm not sure which things were dreams…This might sound odd, but didn't I ask you to go home?" He took a deep breath.
"Yes, but don't worry, you weren't very persuasive at all." I shook my head.
"If I asked you now would you please just go home?"
"Why?"
"Because I asked you to."
"No."
"Please."
"No."
"Because I don't want you here." He glanced down at me quickly.
"No…I don't believe you anyway."
"Jace…" I whined.
"…I really don't think you should be here."
"You'd be much more convincing if you stuck to a single argument…For example there is a big difference between saying you don't want me here and saying you don't think I should be here…Still no though either way." I took an exasperated breath.
"If…I broke our…engagement …would you leave?" I asked softly. It made my stomach turn just saying it, though I knew I didn't mean it. I needed to get Jace as far away from here as I could. I didn't know how much I trusted Michael, but if I wanted answers, I was going to have to find them alone. Jace wasn't safe here, that much I believed. Michael wasn't going to be happy if he found out I brought Jace to hell with me. Once I wasn't here any longer, once I had more information, I could figure out a way to get in contact with Jace. Will and Michael both said Jace really loved me and he'd understand, though right now I was really questioning how much I believed anything they told me seeing everything was built on a foundation of lies. Jace just furrowed his eyebrows at me with an irritated look and shook his head slowly.
"No…but, how did those words taste coming out of your mouth?" I took an exasperated breath.
"Why are you being so stubborn?" Jace shrugged.
"Is this what you call me being stubborn?...Hmm…Maybe you're rubbing off on me…I mean besides literally…" Jace said as he raised his eyebrows up and down. I rolled me eyes.
"…Plus, I like to think of it as me being confident, not stubborn. I'm confident I know how you feel about me, even though you keep asking me to leave, and even though your father called down to the barn to send for me because you were making out with your brother…There is no way I'm leaving." I cringed.
"I was not making out with him. He kissed me when I was sleeping, I thought he was you and… urgh…I don't even know why I'm bothering trying to defend myself, I doubt you care-" He cut me off.
"I care. I most certainly care that Jonathan kissed you. I don't blame you and I'm not mad at you, but I do care and I am furious. You're my fiancée and even if he is your brother and he doesn't know that, he does know you're my fiancée and he kissed you anyway…What was the kiss like?" Jace looked at me sideways, he looked pretty pissed; though I knew he just said he wasn't mad at me.
"It felt wrong. I don't know how else to describe it." He took an exasperated breath.
"I want to know if he shoved his conniving tongue down your throat Clary." I rolled my eyes, though I was pretty sure I was turning bright red.
"You don't really want to know that." I felt his whole body tense next to me.
"I'll take that as a yes." He snarled between clenched teeth.
"Jace…Just forget about that for a minute…or forever…I would personally like to forget that ever happened…Listen to me…It's hard to explain. There is just a lot going on. Like you said, the engagement, I'll be moving, getting a new job, this timeline with my father, a lot is happening at once. Just give me a few days to sort things out. I just need to focus on my father right now. It doesn't mean anything. I don't love you any less. I just need to do this alone." He shook his head.
"No…You're stuck with me. Your father and I both finally have something we agree on, we both want to make sure Jonathan stays the hell away from you. You should be happy. We're bonding." He said with a wink. I shook my head.
"Speaking of my father. Didn't he give you the note I wrote you?" He nodded.
"Yeah, and speaking of that note. Who told you to write it?" I bit my tongue. I couldn't lie point blank to Jace's face. I could already feel my cheeks burning up.
"What do you mean?" He scoffed.
"You already told me you wanted me to stay, but that somebody told you to write that note. You said it wasn't your father, so who was it?" I took an exasperated breath.
"When did I say that?"
"Oh shortly after you got here."
"When I was completely drugged? I don't remember anything I said."
"I don't doubt you don't remember, that doesn't mean you didn't say it. Who told you to write that?" I took a deep breath.
"Nobody! I wrote it because I want you to leave!" I snapped. I'm sure my face was six shades of red right now. Jace's body tensed.
"I can't believe you're lying to me." He growled rather harshly.
"Jace." I whined.
"Clary." He whined back mockingly.
"You're not being very understanding." I snapped. He stopped us both abruptly and gave me an incredulous look.
"Excuse me?...You think I'm not being understanding?...I'm being extremely understanding. If you had an encyclopedia, I'd be the picture next to the word understanding. You just pulled a one-eighty between asking if I'd go home if you broke our engagement to saying that you asking me to leave didn't mean you love me any less. You're lying to my face and we both know it. Right now I understand that you need me here even though you think you need to be alone. I understand that you're keeping things from me, and I'm trying to be understanding that you might have a damn good reason for being so secretive right now. I don't doubt that you had a traumatic day, but can you take a minute to think about what my day was like? I got to spend part of the day wondering if I'd ever see you again, and the moment I get you back, when I'm overjoyed just to see you again, you ask me to leave. I've gotta tell you, that hurts. I'm staying. End of story." I took an exasperated breath as Jace snatched onto my hand and yanked me forward without another word. We walked the last few steps and around the corner into the barn. That was kind of hard to argue. I was happy to see Jace, but I couldn't just hold on to him and ask him to never let me go. I needed him to be safe, and he wasn't safe here. I wasn't the one that didn't want Jace here, Michael was, but I got that Jace would be safer a million miles away from my father and it was selfish of me not to try to convince him to leave. I hated lying to Jace, but he'd never leave if I told him the truth. Thomas was in the middle of the barn brushing a horse that looked remarkably a lot like Wayfarer.
"Clary." Thomas said with a smirk. I nodded.
"Hi Thomas." I said timidly as I looked down at my shoes and scratched the back of my neck. I was suddenly more aware that my hair was down and it probably looked like a bird's nest after a hurricane. I had no idea where these sneakers came from. I remembered throwing them on before I left the bedroom, but they weren't the ones I was running in this morning. Not to mention, for once in my life I was happy that I didn't have a huge chest, because I had completely forgotten to put on a bra in my haste. I crossed my arms over my chest. I probably looked crazy. Jace and I walked over to the horse, which they clarified he was Wayfarer. After they quickly updated me on how he got to the barn, or at least the story Thomas was going with, Jace and I decided to go riding. Thomas said he'd call up to have a picnic basket sent down since neither one of us had eaten much all day. Thomas directed Jace and I to the tack room to change, but Jace offered to help Thomas catch two more horses first. Apparently Thomas had decided to come with us and give a little tour of the property. I headed to the tack room alone.
All the little kittens were in the basket with their mother nursing, so I didn't bother them, I just bee lined to the closet Thomas indicted I should find appropriate riding clothes in. It didn't take long for me to pick out and put on a lighter weight pair of tan fitted riding pants; a pair of tall black riding boots that went up to my knees; a sports bras, which I was grateful for; a short sleeve white polo; and a belt. I wasn't sure what to do with the photo and ring that I originally had in my pocket. These riding pants didn't really have pockets, though there was this tiny inside key pocket. I ended up putting the ring in the small pocket, but the picture wouldn't fit. I tucked the photo into one of my boots. I walked out of the tack room, only to have Thomas immediately insist I tuck in my shirt. He also told me where I could find some hair clips. I reluctantly tucked in my shirt, careful not to lose the ring in my process. I put my hair up in a low knot as I looked down the length of the barn. Three horses stood along the center of the barn. Jace was just hooking the horse farthest from me up. The horses almost looked like they were just standing in a line, but they were all tied up. The horse closest to me was wearing a saddle, but the other two weren't yet. Thomas placed a saddle on Wayfarer, but Jace said something to him and Thomas took the saddle back off. Thomas headed towards the tack room with Jace not far behind him. A man that looked strikingly similar to Thomas walked over to the horse Jace had just brought in and started brushing it. As Thomas and Jace came into the tack room, Thomas pointed the other man out and said he was his brother Cyril. Cyril didn't normally work at the estate, but Thomas had arranged for him to help out at the stables for the summer. Jace gave me a quick complement as he and Thomas walked over to the saddles and Jace picked out one of the bareback saddle pads like he had used up at the other sables. After Thomas left the tack room, Jace closed the door behind him. No sooner was the lock turned then there was knocking on the door.
"Mr. Wayland, it is inappropriate for the young lady to remain in the tack room why you change." Starkweather's voice was firm, and somewhat urgent.
"This guy's everywhere…Is he serious? We're sharing a room." Jace said quietly. I shrugged as I reached for the lock. Jace grabbed my arm gently and shook his head.
"It's cool; she's seen me naked so many times." Jace said flippantly through the door. He winked at me as I shot him an incredulous look. Starkweather could be heard muttering on the other side of the door, but didn't say anything else. Jace grabbed my hand and towed me away from the door and towards the closets. He sat down on a bench and put a hand on either side of my hips. He pulled me close to him, his legs straddling my body. He was looking up at me and his face looked very strained. I put my hand on his check and brought my lips to his and kissed him gently. He just looked at me for a moment when I pulled away. He still had a strained look on his face, but he was smirking slightly.
"That's the first time you kissed me since this morning, since before you left to go running." He said softly. I really hadn't thought about it, but I also couldn't remember a good part of the day. I put my hands on both his cheeks and leaned down and kissed him again. I let my lips linger. I pulled away slightly and dropped my hands to his shoulders. I gazed into his eyes; he looked so troubled, though I probably looked a little out of sorts myself. He took a deep breath.
"Thought you wanted to break our engagement?" Jace asked skeptically with one eyebrow raised. I took a deep breath. I just knew he was going to bring that back up.
"If it would get you to leave, I should." He furrowed his eyebrows at me.
"What does that even mean?" I shook my head.
"It means that I'm weak and selfish." He took a deep breath.
"Under other circumstances I might laugh that I'm being stubborn and you're being selfish, but right now I really don't feel like laughing…Talk to me Clary. I want to know what's going on." He said as he gently rocked my hips side to side with his hands. I hadn't realized what he was doing until it was too late. When Jace pulled his hand away from my pants it wasn't empty. He held the ring up to his face to examine it closely as I quickly tried to grab it. He didn't relinquish his hold, but I kept my hand clasped over the ring. I had no idea where that ring came from or what it meant, but I had a feeling it had to do with Michael, and an even stronger feeling it could very well be the Wayland family ring. I wasn't an idiot; Jace probably knew what his family ring looked like. He looked up at me with furrowed eyebrows. He looked guarded, more guarded than I had seen him in a long time.
"You want to explain this to me?" Though the question was gently stated, the tension through his body was clear. I shook my head.
"You should leave Jace. You really should go-" His jaw clenched and he looked pissed as he jerked his hand away from mine, ring and all. He shot up from the bench as he cut me off.
"Stop that! I'm not leaving you here alone!...You have absolutely no idea how I feel about you if you think for one second you could ever convince me to leave you here…especially…especially…after the morning we just had. You made your point though, you think I should leave, but I'm not going to, so stop telling me to!…I'm here to stay, so whatever's really going on, you better start filling me in. Why the hell do you feel like you need to lie to me? Who the hell told you to write that letter? Where the hell did this come from?-" His voice was getting increasingly louder as he spoke and he was waving the ring in my face at this point. I felt like crying, I also felt like being defensive and yelling right back at him, but I didn't do either, because there was a rapid knock on the door that cut Jace off.
"I've been instructed to come in after you if you take more than ten minutes." I heard Thomas's somewhat urgent voice at the door.
"Ten minutes? Hell, you know what we can do with ten minutes?" Jace shouted back sarcastically. I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head, though Jace didn't look any less guarded and tense than he had a moment ago. It almost sounded like laughing on the other side of the door. Jace held the ring up to his face and though I made a quick attempt to grab it back, he blocked me with an irritated look on his face. There was another rapid knock.
"I'm sorry I didn't catch a reply." Thomas's voice sounded through the door. I looked back towards the door. I would have responded, but a sheet of paper was being moved back and forth under the door.
"I said-" Jace began in an elevated tone. I quickly cupped my hand over his mouth and gave him a firm look.
"You're such a smartass." I snapped. I dropped my hand and walked over to the door with Jace right on my heels. I reached down and picked up the sheet of paper. I felt the resistance on the other side as I pulled the paper from the other person's hand.
"Ten minutes. We got it. Thank you." I said simply. The paper was folded in half. I opened it
The intercoms work both ways and can be activated from inside the main residence.
I looked around the room and quickly located the intercom on the wall. A little green light was on, which I was inclined to think meant the intercom was in use. I looked at Jace. I could just about feel any optimism I had left leaving my body. What the hell did I drag Jace into? I might have agreed to this on some level, but he didn't. He had no idea what he was getting into. I felt the stress of the day catching up to me. A couple traitor tears trickled down my cheeks. Jace's face softened some as he wrapped his arms around me and he pressed his lips to mine gently. His arms loosened their hold, but my hands grabbed onto his shirt in two tight little fists as my pleading eyes looked back into his.
"Don't let go." The words quietly escaped my lips before I could even stop myself. Jace's face softened further as he tightened his hold on me. I took a deep breath and buried my face into his chest while he nestled his face in the crook of my neck. I just needed this right now. I needed Jace right now. I needed to feel like everything was going to be alright.
"This is why I'm here." He whispered. We stood like that for a minute, Jace holding me tightly. I felt like he was physically keeping me from falling apart. I wiped away the few stray tears before we reluctantly pulled apart. We walked back towards the closet, which wasn't far at all from the intercom.
"Ten minutes? Only takes me five to change. Want to give me a quick blow job?" He said with an amused smirk. He raised his eyebrows up and down at me. My eyes bulged out and I just about died. I couldn't believe he just said that.
"Jace…I…Just change." I hissed quietly. I could tell Jace was suppressing a laugh. I was going to kill him for that. Jace reached into the closet and started taking out clothes. I suddenly remembered what we had been talking about before we were interrupted. I grabbed at Jace's wrist and he held out his left hand palm up, empty. When I grabbed at the right one he smirked as he held it out to me. I dropped my head foreword dramatically. He was wearing the ring on his right ring finger. Jace leaned in very close to whisper in my ear.
"My family ring…figured I should get to wear it…" He said sarcastically.
"…We're talking about this later." Jace said with a serious look on his face as he reached into the closet. I took an exasperated breath as I rubbed my hands over my face. Well there wasn't anything I could do about that now. Michael was really going to be questioning asking me to help him.
Albert Einstein:
"The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything."
