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Chapter Four

Han tried to follow Leia as fast as he could, through the crowds. She had suggested a nearby restaurant, close enough that they didn't even need to take a shuttle. Leia had denied security as she left the headquarters, something that both worried and pleased Han. He was worried that in this world she wasn't being careful similar to his own, but he was also pleased to find a similarity between this Leia and his wife. It seemed like a windy day today, the chill hitting against their skin as they made their way down the path. Leia pulled her jacket close to her, feeling the chill hitting the whole of her small form. Han watched from beside her, wanting nothing more then to pull her into his arms and hold her close. Most cold days Leia would end up snuggling into Han's coat, loving the feel of his body heat against hers. But Han knew that wouldn't be happening today.

The busy square of people seemed like nothing to Leia as she walked through the people and towards a local restaurant. Han tried to keep up with her fast pace, keeping her close to his side. Leia tried not to notice how close Han continued to move to her. Her mind was in a bit of a frenzy, she wasn't entirely sure why she had agreed to a lunch with her ex boyfriend. Lapse of judgment or perhaps something deep down had missed Han. Leia quickly shook away that thought. She refused to put herself in that place again. Coming to a large glass door, Leia pointed towards it and Han nodded opening the door for her. She thanked him and quickly stepped away from him. She needed to keep space between them. She trusted her mind but couldn't trust her heart to do something stupid.

"Ambassador Organa!" Leia was greeted, and the waitress quickly escorted Han and Leia to a private booth towards the back of the restaurant. Han cringed slightly, still getting use to there not being a "Solo" on the end of Leia's name. While he had never expected her to take his last name, he was thrilled the day she told him she intended to be known as Leia Organa Solo. Hearing her name change was just another adjustment for Han. Coming to their booth Han slid across from Leia and looked down at the menu. Both were quiet, not knowing where to start or what to say. The days of casual talk between them was gone and Leia didn't know what she was expected to say to him. Not after all this time. Han glanced up at her from the menu. Leia read her menu like a long novel, her attention anywhere but Han. He couldn't help but stare at her, she was so beautiful. She could feel his gaze and as much as she tried to ignore it, she lifted her eyes to meet his.

"You're staring?"

"I'm sorry…you look beautiful Leia." Han said softly. Leia swallowed hard and looked away from him. Her face flushed but she didn't want Han to notice. They both ordered a simple meal with enough caf for the both of them. Han watched as Leia added her creams and sugars, the same way she always did. Han smirked and continued to watch her.

"What is it?" She asked.

"You drink your caf the same way."

"Oh…Creature of habit I suppose." Leia said, sipping the hot liquid. The silence surrounded them now. Neither knowing what to say. Leia was trying to be comfortable and feel at ease, but when your ex boyfriend shows up after years and after a bad break up, she wasn't sure how to act. Han on the other hand wanted so bad to reach out to her and hold his wife. He had to keep reminding himself that in this world Leia was not his wife. They stayed quiet, both sipping out of their mugs. The restaurant was relatively quiet for lunch time, which left the silence even more obvious between them. Leia noted the rest of her day's plans in her head, making lists and mental notes for later. It might sound silly, but at least it gave her mind something to do, besides stare across at Han Solo. She was still so surprised to be here with him. Just yesterday his file had been sent to her for approval for their meeting. She had almost spit her caf out across the room when she read his name. Maybe she was still in denial. It's just a lunch, Leia reminded herself repeating Han's words. But everything between them was usually so much more, and she needed to keep the walls and lines in place between the both of them.

"So…" Han mumbled.

"So…" She repeated. "How's Chewie?"

"He seems fine." Han nodded.

"I guess you wouldn't really remember how he is, I apologize."

"You don't have to be so formal with me Leia."

"It's a default of mine…" She sighed.

"I mean he seems good, same old furry thing." Han smiled.

"Good, you'll tell him hello for me."

"Of course." Han nodded, his mind screaming at him to invite her back to the Falcon. But knowing that would surely scare her off, he stayed silent.

"How's the kid?" Han asked, she raised an eyebrow, before it slowly registered.

"You mean Luke?"

"Yeah, How's Luke doing?" Han asked, curious to how his brother in law was doing in this world.

"He's well."

"That's it?" Han laughed, surprised her answer was so short.

"He's off planet a lot. I see him from time to time. I assume he'll try and join me for the holiday season at some point."

"I hope he does, you shouldn't be alone."

"I spend most holiday's alone Han, It's a comfortable norm in my life."

The silence surrounded them once more. Han stared across at her, his eyes flickered to her hand and caught sight of her bare ring finger. Her wedding ring flashed in his mind. "You never got married?" Han suddenly rushed out, not knowing why he asked her that.

"Umm, no, marriage isn't really my thing." Leia said with a nervous laugh. Her fingers twitched as she grabbed for her caf once more.

"It's not?'

"No, Marriage isn't a good fit for me. I mean they tried to suggest it of course…"

"Single Prince's interested?" Han questioned, not surprised by the idea. Leia smiled softly and nodded. She thought back to after Han and her had split, everyone seemed to want Leia to have a royal wedding, no matter who the groom was. Princes popped up from all over the galaxy, everyone wanting to wed the last Princess of Alderaan. Han sipped his own caf, pleased that this Leia hadn't agreed to marry any of the Princes across the galaxy, that would have truly messed up his plan.

"I'm assuming you aren't married…" She nodded to his bare finger.

"Not that I know of." Han sighed.

"Surely your wife would know if you'd gone missing, and Chewie would have of course told you. Chances are you're single."

"I guess you're right." Han toyed with the idea of asking her something, but wasn't sure if it would be too far for her. Taking the leap of faith he started. "You never thought about us getting married?" Han asked her. Leia just stared at him, she didn't want to go there.

"Han…"

"Just a question, Leia."

"We would have never gotten married. We were too different Han, it's not something that would have happened." She answered quickly and to the point.

"Leia, that's not true…" Han started and then stopped his words. "I'm sorry we just cared for each other, at least i thought we did."

"Han…"

"What is it?" He asked, wanting so much to reach across the table and grab hold of her hand. She looked like she was struggling now, and wasn't sure how to answer him. Her lashes were fluttering fast and Han wondered if she was fighting back tears.

"How can you not remember how bad things got between us?" She questioned, turning her head to the side and looking away from him. Swallowing hard, Han took in the pain etched on her face. He could tell she was trying to hold back whatever emotion she was feeling.

"Why were they bad Leia?" Han questioned. He still wanted to know why they were apart, what was so bad? What had happened to them? He wanted to push her and ask her each and every question but he knew he couldn't, he had to ease her into this. It was a miracle she had even agreed to come to lunch with him, if what Chewie suggested was true.

"Han maybe it's best that you don't remember."

"You have to remember…" Han reminded her.

"I guess, I forget sometimes." She sighed. That was true, she made herself forget most days. It all hurt too much. When she thought back to those days after Endor her heart broke all over again. She had thought of a future with Han and all of that had went away so quickly. She had to remind herself to forget, because if not she'd break down all over again and that was not acceptable.

"Tell me Leia…"

"It's like I said, we were always a part and then when we did see each other all we did was fight. I think you were having a hard time adjusting to the things I told you and It put a wedge between us." Han offered her a confused look, not entirely sure what he would have been adjusting to. They stared at each other for a silent moment before Han spoke.

"What was I adjusting to?" Han questioned, his mind still not sure what she meant by that. Leia reached for her plate and slowly nibbled her food. She seemed to be processing how to word her next sentence. Han stared at her trying so hard to read her face.

"About Vader, and Luke And I."

"What about it?"

"Han…" She sighed once more. This was clearly something Leia didn't want to speak about. Han waited for her to continue, she had that look of pain in her eyes once more. He didn't like it, and he didn't like that any version of himself had caused it. "That we were related." Her simple words rushed his chest and he felt himself deflate. Surely that wouldn't have been what broke them apart, it wouldn't be something like that.

"Vader didn't change my feelings about you Leia! That never mattered to me." Han bit out quickly, his heart rate went up at the thought of her feeling that way. He would never judge her for her biological parents, and he would have never stopped loving her for it. Never, not even in a different world! Right?

"Han…We remember things differently it seems…"

"Leia.." He tried but she interrupted him.

"You did have a problem with it. It's understandable, a lot of people had a problem with it." Leia said trying to brush it off as if it was nothing. Han didn't understand, how could she be so casual about it. This version of himself sounded like a dick. Why the hell had she agreed to go to lunch with him?

"I can't believe that." Han whispered out, his voice so quiet Leia almost didn't hear him.

"Han, That's why we ended things. It was better that way. You couldn't get passed it. And then after the press found out it was even worse…I can't blame you for not wanting to be associated with Vader's children."

"Did I say that to you?" Han questioned, praying with everything he had that she said no. That this version of him would never say something like that to the girl he was meant to love. Leia's face cracked a bit, before she pulled herself back together.

"It doesn't matter Han, that was a long time ago."

"So I did say that to you…" He pushed further, needing to hear her say the words. He needed and wanted to know what type of man he was in this world. Leia's eyes flickered up to his and she held his gaze. He could see the pain and hurt rested deep within her dark eyes.

"After we found out….things were different and there was no going back. I understood that you didn't want this life." She said rather quickly, her words running together and coming out as a ramble. That was the first time in their conversation that Leia looked like she didn't know how to form the right words.

"Found out what?" Han asked. Her eyes grew wide and she seemed to completely change in that moment. "What did we find out?" Han questioned her, seeing her walls closing down and around her once more.

"You know Han…It was nice to see you but I have to be getting back to the office." Leia said, dismissing his last question and moving to stand up. She straightened out her dress and took one last sip of her caf. Han quickly stood up and moved to stand beside her. Leia blinked a few times, realizing how close Han was yet again. She didn't want to feel the heat between them, or have the urge to kiss him. She couldn't feel that way anymore, and she needed to get it together.

"Leia?"

"It was good to see you Han, I hope that the medics can sort out your injuries." She said truthfully.

"Yeah me too…" Han sighed, moving closer to her. He wanted to kiss her. Han watched as Leia's eyes flickered to his lips. "I'd like to see you again, Leia." Han whispered to her, hoping she felt what he was feeling.

"I'm afraid I'm very busy this time of year Han." She answered quickly and coldly. "I hope you have a wonderful Holiday." She said with a nod, before turning around and leaving the restaurant. Han stood in place staring out at where she had left. What kind of hell of a world had he found himself in.

Outside Leia quickly moved down the street and lost herself in the crowd. She didn't want to look back and she sure as hell didn't want to let the tears fall down her face. Just speaking about what had happened all those years ago ripped at her heart. And the thought that he didn't remember any of it, he didn't remember the words he said to her or what their final blow up was about, it hurt even worse. She was lost in those memories, those times of pain and hurt. She felt her face grow hard as her mind turned into defense mode. She did him a favor going to lunch with him, and she did truly hope he was able to fix his memory and his injuries. But one thing was for certain, she couldn't see him again.


Well, there we have Han and Leia's lunch! Few more clues as to what happened in the past =) Thanks for reading!