CHAPTER 8
It takes me 4 days to get to Forks. I think I slept only a handful of hours on my way here but I just couldn't fall asleep. I had to get here as soon as possible and there is no way I would have left my baby behind and hop on a plane, no matter how desperate I was.
I think I should name her. I mean, she has been the only constant in my new life and she deserves it. I'll have to think about that later.
Right now I keep driving through Forks. The weather is, not surprisingly, horrible. Dark clouds glooming over the sky and basically reflecting my mood. I've been feeling miserable ever since I left Mystic Falls.
I drive straight to my old house and park my bike on the empty driveway.
There is no dad's cruiser or my monster truck parked on it and it looks abandoned.
I slowly approach the door and unlock it with the key that has always been hidden under the eaves.
The first thing I notice is the silence. There are no baseball games blasting on the old TV and dad's grumbling is nowhere to be heard.
Next up, the smell hits me. The house just smells old. Not like my strawberry shampoo mixed with dad's cologne and the ever-present smell of beer, leftover pizza and the inevitable fish.
I hate it. It doesn't feel like home. It isn't comforting. Not at all.
I don't know what I was expecting but it sure as hell wasn't this.
My tired legs drag me upstairs to my room.
I hate that room too. It looks the same but both of us know it's not.
It doesn't hold the memories worth remembering. This room only holds the pain I carry around with me every day.
So I just plop down onto the bed and stare at the ceiling until I feel like falling asleep.
It takes me a while to do so lately. Two days ago I got a message from Damon telling me not to worry about the sleep thing and explaining how their blood flows through my veins differently and my brain can't exactly process what is happening with my body so it fights the blood which only makes the heart pump it faster and keep my body on constant alert.
Which is a good thing when you need to heal quickly but is a bitch when you have as much of it in your system as I do. It just causes my mind to be exhausted but my body still remains wide awake.
Damon also told me how I'm getting only what I asked for and not a day more. If I break it, he'll come and get me.
So, now I jolt up and go outside, lock the house and drive to the reservation.
I need my friend right now.
XXX
As I drive down the long familiar road that leads to the res I decide to park my bike on the beach so that Jake wouldn't hear it's roar and know I'm there.
I leave my baby behind a tree by the fallen log Jake and I used to hang out on.
I jog to his small rusty house and it feels so good to do something physical with my body. I might even make that a habit to get rid of the extra energy this damn blood provides me.
Jake's doors are, as usually, unlocked so I get inside and immediately hear his loud snoring coming from the bedroom.
My body tingles with happiness when I see his huge body sprawled all over the small bed. His face looks too peaceful for me to disturb him so I just sit by his side and close my eyes.
Jake calms down both my body and my mind. He always has. His snoring lulls me to sleep and it doesn't take long for my thoughts to drift away.
XXX
„Holy crap! " I hear and jolt awake. „Bells?" I turn my head towards the sound and see Jake squinting his eyes and rubbing them with his fists like he doesn't really believe I'm here.
I don't hesitate a second more before I stand up and throw my hands around his huge body.
I swear, that guy still grows. He's much bigger than the last time I saw him.
It feels really good being wrapped in his overheated embrace and soon I feel him standing up and swirling me in circles around the small room. We push a few things on the floor but neither of us cares enough to pick them up.
We are too busy grinning like fools at each other and I can feel his happiness reflecting my own.
„What are you doing here?" He asks after we calm down a little bit.
„We'll talk about that later." I say since I don't want to bring my fucked up life right away and decide to quickly change the subject. „How's the pack? Anything interesting happened since I left?" I ask him instead.
„Not much, really. The guys are good, Emily is pregnant so Sam always has a goofy smile on his face which makes him look like crazy but nobody actually minds, we're all really happy for them." He tells me.
„What?! She's pregnant? When did that happen?" I ask. She really deserves it, I know she has wanted Sam's kiddo for a while.
„A few weeks now. They've been inseparable since they found out. If it wasn't so great to see their happiness I think all of us would go mad with the cuteness overload." He jokes and we both laugh.
But then I remember another person who is definitely affected by this.
„Hey, what about Leah?" I ask him and see his smile falls.
„Can't you guess?" Jake rolls his eyes. „She's a major bitch about it. I mean, I get it, it can't be easy but it isn't fair to piss over their happiness either, ya know?" He ponders.
„I thought so.. But it'll pass, I'm sure. It's just much to take in."
„Yeah, I hope so."
I decide to change the subject again cause this one's got us feeling a little down.
„Hey, how about we go to the beach for a little bit?" I suggest.
Jake's face lights up. „I'd like that, like old times." He says and we start walking past his house and the garage towards the beach.
„Did you finish the car?" I ask.
„No. There's a bunch of parts I'm still missing." He tells me.
„You know I can give you the money to buy some of them, Jake." I tell him for the umpteenth time.
„And youknow I don't want your money. You need it for college, Bells."
„That doesn't mean I can't give you some if you need it, you know it's not a problem anymore." I say but I can see he's gonna argue until I back off so I add: „I won't push it anymore, but if you need it just say, the offer stands."
„I know, thanks Bells." He says and hugs me.
We walk for a little bit in silence until we spot the fallen log by the beach and hop onto it.
We sit side by side, both lost in our own thoughts, both lost in our memories.
The last time we sat like this was before I left and it was very emotional for both of us. How could it not be after all we've been through together.
But I knew I couldn't keep from him the reason for coming here any longer. He deserves to know and I really, really need someone to vent to.
„I have to tell you something, Jake." I tell him after the silence becomes unbearable.
He looks at me expectantly while I fidget and try to gather the courage to talk to him about what's bothering me.
„You know you can tell me anything, Bells. I'm here for you." He says and drapes his huge around my shoulders but it doesn't do much to calm my nerves.
I nod and keep quiet for a little while longer.
„Grow a pair, Bella!"My own mind screams at me.
I take a huge breath and decide to start talking.
„I found a few friends in Mystic Falls." I start with the easy stuff. „Things were going so great these past few weeks. We hung out pretty much every day and it felt good. Ifelt good. Even the nightmares subdued and I always got so much sleep and had so much energy and.. And I think.. I think I was happy, Jake." I sigh.
He hugs me closer and asks: „Why is everything in past tense, Bells?" I knew he'd notice sooner or later so I continue talking.
„I'm getting there." I tell him. „A few days ago there was a party held at the local diner and Elena convinced me to go. It was fun until I, by a turn of events,-" I sure as hell am not talking to Jake about Dean- „got outside alone for a few minutes and a vampire found me." I pause.
„WHAT?!" Jake abruptly stands up in panic.
„Yeah, apparently Victoria has a 'new mate'-" I snort- „and has sent him to deliver a message. He told me his name was Riley."
„What kind of a message?" Jake interrupts me, anger lacing his voice.
„Umm.." I mumble and try to figure out how to tell him the rest. „She kind of told him to break my leg, you know-since James did that, and tell me something but my mouth kept being faster than my brain and I couldn't shut up so I pissed him off, made everything worse than it was supposed to be and ended up with a few broken ribs, damaged lungs, a broken leg and a bruised face." I finish the first part of the story.
Jake starts pacing around me and I can see how badly this affects him by the shaking of his body. He starts counting something on his fingers and his face grows darker when he realises there is something wrong with the timeline I gave him, even though there really isn't.
„How long ago did you say that happened?" He asks me, confusion written all over his features.
„About 6 days ago.." I mumble and look towards the ground.
„That's not possible." He states.
„Umm.. There's more to the story.." I say. „But I need you to promise me you'll not freak out when I tell you."
Jake just snorts. „We'll see about that."
I just nod and start telling the second part of the story, the one that made me come here in the first place. I know that even if Jake did promise me- he wouldn't really be able to control his reaction.
„The friends I told you about- Elena, Stefan and Damon- found me in the alley Riley left me in and they helped me.."
„Helped you how?!" He asks bewildered.
Breathe in, breathe out, Bella. It's best to just lay it all out in the open right away. You know, like ripping off a band-aid.
Right?
Right. You need to do this.
„Well.. DamonandStefanarevampiresand Damonfedmehisblood." I rush out.
Jake's face grows from confused to angry in a matter of seconds.
„What?! Tell me I heard wrong, Bells." He pleads with me.
„You didn't.." I say.
„Are you a vampire now, too?!" He yells, mortified.
„Of course not!" I yell back. „Jake, please calm down! I have to tell you the rest, they're not like the Cullens!"
He just backs a few steps away from me and continues his pacing, anger still very present in his movements.
„They told me how there were two types of vampires and they are called The Originals. Their blood has the ability of healing humans." I explain but it doesn't do anything to calm Jake down. He is still shaking like a leaf and I don't know what to do about it.
„You're hanging out with bloodsuckers again?!" He screams in my face.
„Jake calm down! They fucking helped me! I could have died!" I defend.
„I don't care! You're not going back there!" He orders me and now he's not the only one angry around here.
„And who are you to tell me that?! I need a friend to talk to right now Jake! Please, calm down so we can talk!" I yell back at him.
„You're staying here, Bella! You hear me?!" He says again. „What the hell are you thinking? You wanna end up like you did the last time when they leave you behind, too?!"
Low blow, Jacob Black.
„They won't." I say and look him straight in the eyes. „They are my friends! What don't you understand? They would have left me to die if they weren't gonna stick around!"
„How blind can you be?! The moment they find something more interesting they'll spit you right out! It's what they do!"
„It's not! Look, I know you're angry and you have every right to be.. But that doesn't give you the right the talk to me like I'm stupid."
„You obviously are! Don't you see you're just setting yourself up for another round of pain? You are not going back there, Bella!" He says through clenched teeth.
„Stop telling me what to do, you are not my father!" I yell. „I'm not a child for you to scold. I can make my own decisions!"
„You can, but that doesn't mean they are the right ones! And this time I'm not standing here watching you destroy your life all over again. You either stay here or you leave and never come back." He tells me.
„Oh, is that how this is gonna go? You're giving me an ultimatum?" I ask completely taken aback by what I just heard.
„No, I'm giving you a choice."
„I can't stay here, Jake. You know that, so please don't make me choose." I plead with him but the look on his face tells me his 'offer' is not up for negotiation.
„I left for a reason. Don't you remember what kind of effect this place has on me? And I'm asking you again to not do this. Please don't make me choose. Because it will be them." I sigh.
„THEN GO!" He roars and starts shaking so hard that I feel it even though I'm still standing a few feet away from him.
And then he does something both of us will remember for the rest of our lives.
Everything slows down.
One second Jake is standing in front of me and in the other he is in mid-air transforming into a wolf.
His clothes scatters all around us and the situation catches both of us off guard because while he's falling back to the ground one of his giant paws hooks into my left shoulder and the next thing I know I'm hearing the most disgusting sound of tearing flesh and the smell of blood envelops my nostrils.
The force of the impact causes me to fall to the ground and I start screaming as the feeling of pain replaces the shock and makes it's way to my brain.
„Oh my God, Bells! I'm so sorry." I hear Jake saying but it seems like he's so far away.
„No, no, no. This isn't happening. How could I have lost it like this?" he keeps mumbling and I feel the pressure of his hand trying to stop the bleeding from my shoulder.
I just lie on the sand and scream until the pain either subdues or I get used to it.
I'm not sure how much time passes until my head clears up a little bit and I feel like I can move again, it doesn't seem long but there is no way of me knowing that for sure.
I hook my right hand under me and try to push myself up but Jacob stops me by placing his hand on my shoulder and laying me back down.
„I'll go call Sam and the pack. We'll help you, okay? They'll know what to do. Just please don't move!" He pleads. „I'll be back in a few minutes. God, I'm so sorry." And with that he gets up and I watch his naked form running in the direction of Emily's house.
I figure I don't have very much time on my hands until they all come rushing back here so I quickly get up and tie my limp hand to my body with the shreds of my hoodie and pieces of Jacob's ruined clothes.
It hurts like a bitch but I've had worse so I suck it up and start walking towards my bike.
Right now I'm extremely grateful for leaving it so close to the log and it takes me only a couple of minutes to get to it.
Soon I find myself driving down the long road that leads to my house.
The whole process is extremely painful but the adrenalin keeps my head clear enough through it all.
It has gotten pretty late by now so I'm not worried about anyone seeing me.
When I finally get to my house I go straight to the bathroom and take off my bloody clothes.
I get into the small shower and watch the red water going down the drain. The stream hurts my wounds but I manage to make it through.
I get out of the shower and stand naked in front of the mirror looking at the damage Jacob caused with his huge claws.
There are three long lines starting just beside my neck.
My shoulder is almost completely covered in blood that is still seeping through the open skin. This is the place that took the biggest impact so it's logical that the wounds here would be the deepest and heal the slowest.
A few inches below I see the unbroken trail of the three lines going all the way to my breast and then abruptly turning left and making their way down my arm where they are already closed since they're not as deep over there.
Damon's blood did quick work of closing the bigger veins and making sure I didn't lose too much of it.
I quickly grab some bandages and clumsily wrap them around my shoulder to make the bleeding even smaller.
Then I go to my room and grab some paper and a pen. Since I don't want to face Jacob again after what went down at the res I settle on writing him a letter.
I pretty much have figured out what I want to say so I sit down at my desk and start writing.
Dear Jacob,
First of all: I am fine. Damon's blood is doing it's job.
Second of all: I do not blame you for what just happened. I shouldn't have pushed you as far as I did and I am sorry. It was an accident and no one is to blame.
Now that that is settled I have to tell you how much it hurts me to think about all the ways I have been causing you pain over the past couple of months and today just proved me how selfish I was for asking you to help me each time I thought I couldn't handle something alone.
I came to you right after I found out that they were vampires. I couldn't keep it together and I needed my best friend. It wasn't easy for me to accept what they were after everything that has happened with the Cullens and I didn't want to go through it all over again.
My mind immediately fought against letting them get to my heart.
But it is too late, Jacob. They are already in it.
I realise now that running away from them was a mistake and I shouldn't have done it.
I also shouldn't have expected from you to always be there for me- especially when I spring something like this on you. It was stupid of me to think you would be OK with everything.
Anyways, I want you to know how grateful I will always be to you. You are the one who saved me when I needed it the most and that means a lot to me.
I am not mad about the 'choice' you gave me today because I deserved it and I think it is only fair of me to let you go now before I hurt you even more. I can't have it both ways.
I am putting my big girl pants on and dealing with my own shit alone from now on.
Thank you for everything, Jake.
You will always be in my heart, no matter where and with whom I am.
You are my sunshine.
Love you forever, Bells.
I take an envelope and put the tear smudged letter in it. I will get it in the post office tomorrow.
By now the pain in my shoulder is almost completely gone but the bandages are completely soaked by blood so I make quick work of taking them off and wiping the wounds off with lukewarm water.
I watch in fascination as the cuts on my shoulder slowly close and then put another bandage over them and slid into bed.
There is still a couple of things I need to do tomorrow and then I can officially leave this place behind me and never come back here again.
It's time for me to grow up.
A/N
There you go!
I know I'm a little late, sorry!
Next CH should be posted as planned- a week from now. I already have it mostly written and our favourite bad boy Damon is making an appearance!:D
Dark-Supernatural-Angel- I don't think hiding the fact that there are two types of vamps in the vampire world is necessary so I didn't want to make a big deal out if. Also- Riley is disposable to Victoria, he is here to deliver a message and how would he be able to do it without knowing what to say? I agree with the second part of your review- I didn't really like writing it but I needed a reason for Bella to go back to Forks and this seemed like a good one. I hope I explained her reasons well enough in the letter. BTW- love your reviews- they always give me something to think about!
Vampirelove41- You just found out where she went and yes-the Cullens are gonna appear in this story eventually.
Bella-swan11- I didn't quite understand your review completely but from what I gathered I can tell you this: Damon and Bella are just friends for now so I don't see a reason for jealousy. The other aspects of vampire world (compulsion included) will be further explained when Bella gets back to Mystic Falls.
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