CHAPTER 9
The driveway is almost completely invisible. It is obvious nobody has been here for a long time- everything is covered in dirt, moss and other plants and branches.
It's gonna be tricky getting through it all to get to the house on my bike but I think I can make it.
I start riding at an awfully slow pace cause I don't want to fly off the bike and fall into the dirt.
It takes me a while but I manage to get there.
The house looks exactly the same as it always has- breathtakingly beautiful.
The area around it is a completely different story though- the grass is super high and the driveway is full of dirt. It looks kinda sad.
I thought I would feel something when I got here but I don't.
I feel nothing. Empty.
There is nothing this house holds for me anymore.
I decide to get inside and see what it looks like but, of course, the door is locked. And that's when an idea hits me.
XXX
When I was in a motel somewhere I managed to lose the key to my room. Since I only slept in motels I got there pretty late and managed to get a room just before they closed. By the time I got to the room and realised the key was lost the reception was already closed and I couldn't ask for a new key.
„Fucking hell!" I yelled at the door.
„Problems?" Someone chuckled beside me.
„Yeah, I lost the damn key and the fucking reception is closed!" I half-yelled. „Sorry, I wasn't yelling at you. I'm just nervous." I apologized to the guy when I realised how loud I was.
„No problem, I can help with that." He said.
„You can? How?" I asked, confused.
„You're in luck, I'm the manager's son." He smiled. „I can teach you how to get inside without the key."
„Isn't that illegal?" I asked. I didn't need to end up in a police station.
„Yeah, but I won't tell if you don't." He offered.
„No, thanks. I don't even believe you to be the manager's son and a getting police record isn't on the top of my 'to do' list." I said.
„I am. I have the keys to all the rooms, look." He showed me a chain with a bunch of numbered keys on it.
„Why don't you just unlock the door for me?" I asked.
„Well, if I did that, you wouldn't be able to get somewhere on your own if you need to. And sleeping outside in a place like this isn't something you should ever do." He explained.
„So you're gonna teach me how to break in? Just like that?" I raised my brow at him.
„Why not? I know I needed that skill quite often." He just shrugged.
„I can't.." I started to protest but he stopped me.
„Look, you don't have to use it, but it couldn't hurt to just learn." He stated.
I huffed and nodded and he started on the lecture.
XXX
So now, all I have to do is take two bobby pins from my hair, bend them and start tinkering with the lock.
It takes me about ten minutes- I'm not a pro. But I manage to get it open and that's all that counts.
And then I am faced with a catastrophe.
Digital lock connected to an alarm system and iron doors. Fuck.
This is definitely waaay out of my league.
There is no way I can get through those. And I can't call any of the boys from the res because if Jake hates me, they must not like me very much either. Plus there is no one in Forks who can help me.
Think Bella, think!
There is no one in Forks who can help me. That's it!
I have to get in here today. This is probably the last time I'm in Forks and the last chance for the closure I so desperately need.
So I dial before I lose the nerve.
„Hello, Isabella. " Ugh, I can just hear the cocky smirk behind his voice.
„Hi, Damon. I need your help." I say solemnly. I don't like this one bit but it is my only chance. And I can tell he likes it more than he should.
„Well, well, well.." He sings into the phone. „What can I do for you today?" He asks, amusement evident in his voice.
I groan.
„You've been around a long time, I suppose you haven't always been welcome, so I was wondering if you would, by any chance, know how to disable an alarm and iron doors?" I say quickly and hope he doesn't make me repeat anything if he didn't catch it all.
„Smash it." He states confidently.
„What?!" I yell.
„Do you care about the damage?"
„No."
„Then smash the alarm. The door will slide open."
„What if it doesn't work?" I ask worriedly.
„It will. Just go grab a rock and smash away. But only if the owner isn't anywhere near, the alarm will probably go off." He warns me.
That definitely isn't a problem. The house is placed in the middle of the forest and the Cullens could be on the other side of the world for all I know.
„Wait a second, let me go grab a rock." I tell him.
I fumble around the high grass until I find one big enough for smashing alarms.
„Got it!" I exclaim. „I'm good from now on. Thanks Damon, bye!"
„No!" He yells in the phone. „I want to listen." I can hear the laughter in his voice.
„There is nothing to hear, I'll just smash it and get inside." I say. I don't need him making fun of me.
„Still. Don't you dare hang up the phone." He threatens.
„Fine." I huff and roll my eyes.
„Don't you roll those pretty brown eyes on me, Isabella." He says and I bet he feels pretty proud of himself for guessing that.
So I roll them again.
Yeah, you got that right- five minutes on the phone with Damon Salvatore and I'm back to rolling my eyes like a crazy person.
„Brat." He mumbles.
I start pounding at the alarm until the entire thing falls apart.
„Nothing's happening!" I tell Damon.
„Smash the wires a bit more and then wait." He instructs.
So I smash and smash until there is nothing recognizable in the little box. Then I pluck the small wires that are poking from the hole in the wall.
And then I finally hear the sound of moving metal and feel my face stretching into a huge grin.
„It's working! " I tell him happily.
„Told you it would." He says sounding smug.
When the door opens I am instantly flooded by the memories.
I can vividly see Rosalie glaring at me from the corner and Emmett smiling like the goof he is while playing games on his Xbox.
That memory brings a smile to my face. I really miss Emmett..
I can also see Esme and Carlisle gently smiling at me from the kitchen and Alice curled up on Jasper's lap on the loveseat by the fireplace.
And, of course, I can see Edward waiting for me by the staircase, his bronze hair a constant disarray, the crooked smile I love so much firmly placed on his face and his loving eyes boring into my very soul.
„You good there?" Damon's voice breaks me from the web of my memories. That's when I realise silent tears are pouring down my face and I am sniffing so I roughly wipe the traitor tears away.
„Yeah, I'm good." I say with a raspy voice.
Damon stays quiet since he probably doesn't believe me and doesn't know what else to say.
My legs start going up the staircase on their own volition and I end up in front of the last room on the left.
I can't help myself so I open the door.
It looks the same.
Black leather couch in the corner. Stacks of books and CDs on the walls. A CD player in the middle of the room.
I go straight to it and pressed play.
My lullaby.
The gentle memory of the lullaby fills the air. The same melody that used to lull me to sleep now enrages me.
„MOTHERFUCKER!" I screech.
„You okay there?" I hear Damon's voice coming from the phone.
„NO! Fucking asshole! How dare he?! HOW?!" I yell .
„Isabella, I'm already on my way to Forks, I can be there in a half an hour tops." He tells me but the thought of him being here doesn't do much to calm me.
I just throw my phone away without answering and then push the stereo from the desk. It flies to the other side of the room where it crashes and the CD falls out.
There is a writing on it.
I pick it up and see that it simply says: „My Bella" written in Edward's elegant handwriting.
„MY BELLA?! MY?! Son of a bitch!" I keep yelling and break the CD too.
Then I move to throwing the CDs off of his shelves. I can't bring myself to do the same to the books so I leave them be.
But it still isn't enough.
That's when I see the couch and remember the kitchen.
I quickly run downstairs and grab a knife.
Since the couch is the only place where he could relax and write in his journals I figure it would bring me the most satisfaction to destroy.
I take the knife and start stabbing and cutting it. The leather is real so it is a bit difficult to pierce through it but I manage.
Then I carve: „EDWARD CULLEN, YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF!" in the wall, pick up my phone from the floor and leave the room without looking back.
I storm to Alice's room.
There isn't much I can do in here except to destroy her closet. I grab my phone and dial Damon's number.
„Bring a bucket of paint!" I say.
„On it." He simply answers and hangs up.
I go outside and pace on the porch until I hear rumbling of the leaves. I turn around and see Damon running towards me with a huge shit eating grin on his face.
„Troublemaker Bella! How nice to see you again!" He laughs.
I smile back. Now that he's here it feels like a part of me, one that I didn't even know was missing, is back in place.
He comes closer and hugs me.
The gesture surprises me but it feels nice, comforting.
„Don't you get all touchy-feely with me now!" I tease him.
„Shut up. You stormed off on us a week ago. You scared the shit out of us." He tells me seriously.
„I'm sorry.." I tell him and he squeezes me a little harder.
His hand presses directly onto my bruised shoulder and I unwillingly wince.
„What's wrong?" He asks, concern evident in his features.
„Umm.." I mumble to buy myself some time to figure out an explanation but he shoots me a look that tells me not to make bullshit up cause he won't buy it so I relent and start talking.
„Long story short- I had some werewolf friends here and I made one angry, he phased and kinda ripped my shoulder open." I say quietly.
„Let me see." He orders with a strict voice that doesn't leave room for discussion.
I take my jacket off and then pull the black shirt over my head which leaves me in nothing but my bra. I feel like I should be really uncomfortable but then I remember how he already saw me in nothing but my underwear so I don't fidget and wait for him to finish his inspection.
His eyes go wide when he sees the huge colourful bruise that covers the entire left side of my chest and my upper arm.
It looks disgusting but much better than yesterday. The three lines are still vividly red but I'm not bleeding so at least that's good.
I remember how it happened and the loss of my friend brings tears to my eyes so I close them. I don't want Damon to witness how weak I am.
I wait for him to start his interrogation. But it doesn't come.
Instead he says: „Your bra is dirty." This makes me open my eyes immediately and glance to my chest.
„It's not dirty, it's taupe, asshole!" I tell him and look into his smiling face so we both burst out laughing over the absurdity of the situation.
Soon we calm down and he brushes his hand over the scars and I can see that it angers him that someone did that to me.
„Those are gonna stay on your skin. You are, after all, human and the blood only speeds us the healing process and you would have scars if the healing was completely natural." He tells me sadly.
„I figured.." I tell him back.
We fall into silence while I put my clothes back on.
„Now give me that paint!" I say and try to pry it from his fingers.
„A-a-a, only if I get to go too!" He says back.
„Like I would be able to stop you.." I roll my eyes at him. He just smirks victoriously.
We get inside and I see the dirty footprints my now muddy old Converse left. Damon starts looking around and follows the footprints into Edward's room while I go straight into Alice's closet and try to open the can of paint.
„Let me." Damon says and pops the lid open in a matter of seconds. Then he leans against the wall on the opposite side of the room and lets me blow off my anger in peace.
„Red?!" I laugh. „Thanks, this is just priceless!"
I take the bucket and start splashing the paint all over her clothes. When I finish with that I go into Rosalie's room and splash the remaining paint on her shoes.
„That's for being a bitch to me for no reason whatsoever. At least now you'll have one." I say and leave the room.
When I get back into the living room I take Emmett's Xbox at throw it at the wall. It leaves a dent and it's pieces scatter all over the carpet.
And then I go outside and realise how tired I am now that all the anger has left my body so I sit on the porch and wait for Damon to come out.
„Better?" Damon asks. He was so quiet in there I almost forgot he was here.
„I don't know. I just feel.. Drained.." I tell him.
„I took the liberty of buying something that will surely make you feel better!" He smiles mischievously.
„What?" I ask.
He gets up and picks something up from the high grass.
„Bourbon!" He smirks.
I must admit even the thought of drinking with Damon makes me feel a little better cause the last time we did that it ended up being really fun.
He opens the bottle, puts the cap to his lips and takes a huge swig. Then he hands it to me so I do the same. And, of course, I start coughing just like I did the first time.
„This shit it still gross!" I yell through laugher.
„It didn't bother you much last time!" He laughs with me.
„Hey, don't judge! I needed the courage!" I give him a mock-glare and we fall into comfortable silence.
For the next few hours we just sit on the porch and drink our asses off and joke around.
„Seriously, though, you planning on coming home?" He asks me.
I think about the concept of home and just burst out crying.
Damon moves from his spot by the fence, picks me up and hugs me while I wail.
He doesn't say anything and I can't help but be reminded of the last time I cried in his embrace so I do the same thing I did then- I curl up into a ball like a kitten and let his cradling calm me down.
„There is nothing here for me anymore.." I realise. „Nothing! Even Jake, who is supposed to be my best friend, basically threw me away."
Damon just looks at me and doesn't say anything. I know he has his questions but there is time for those and it is not now.
„This place is supposed to be my home but all I can feel for it is hate! I hate everything that has ever tied me to this place!" I yell and try to wiggle out of Damon's embrace but he doesn't let me go.
He holds me and doesn't even flinch when I start punching his chest until my hands start throbbing.
„You know.. I had a plan when I decided to move away from here. I wanted to change who I was, create someone new, someone without the past. It didn't matter to me where I ended up. I just wanted to be someone.. Someone alive." I tell him.
„It doesn't work that way. The past- it follows you. You can't escape it. No matter how much you want to.." Damon tells me softly and that's when I realise how much alike we actually are.
„You've been hurt." It's a statement, not a question but he nods nonetheless. I can see the hurt in his eyes and I know this isn't something he is usually comfortable with.
There is something I have read in a book a long time ago.. It's just a simple quote but the way I can relate to it is almost impossible to comprehend. And I can see now the same goes for the broken man who is currently cradling both of us.
„You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see." I start telling but Damon interrupts me by finishing it: „But you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."
We share a small, sad smile and it seems like we come to an understanding. About what I am not sure, but I still feel it.
„It wasn't like that for me." He tells me.
„What wasn't?" I ask bewildered.
„I could have closed my heart to the things I didn't want to feel." He says and it confuses me even more.
„I don't understand.." I mumble.
„Vampires.. My kind- we can shut our emotions off. Like a switch. You can either feel or completely shut down your humanity. If you do that, you are carefree. No guilt, no pain, no remorse." He explains.
„Why don't you do it then? I mean, isn't it better to be numb then constantly feel miserable if you have a choice?" I ask.
„I did do it once. When everything became too much. I was a creature without conscience- I was a monster in every sense of the word. I still am. But with age it became harder to stay that way. Emotions have a way of fighting their way back in after a while." He clarifies.
„So does that mean you can't do it now?" I wonder aloud.
„Yes." He answers simply.
„So you pretend.." I say. It's not a question so he doesn't answer. I noticed that about him already and it doesn't come as a surprise to have it confirmed.
But I do get it. It makes things easier.
If you don't let people in- they can't hurt you. Simple as that.
„Wow." I breathe and chuckle as a revelation hits me.
„What?" He furrows his brows in confusion.
„Neither of us could be more of a sucker if we were on the end of a stick." I joke and look at him as his face lightens up.
„No more talking! Let's daaance!" Damon sings, stands up and starts twirling me in the air.
„Umm.. I kinda broke the stereo." I inform him timidly when he stops twirling us.
„That's not all you broke." He snickers. „But it doesn't matter!" He says as he puts me down and starts singing.
I feel my mouth falling agape when I recognise the song and start laughing at his ridiculousness.
„I didn't take you for a BritneyBitch!" I say through giggles.
„There's a lot you still don't know about me!" He informs me and continues singing.
I watch him as he dances all around the garden with the bottle still in his hands. His shirt rides up every time he throws his hands in the air and I am quickly getting really fond of his abs. And hello happy trail.
No, no Bella. Don't stare.
How can I not? Look at that ass in those black jeans.
„You planning on joining me anytime soon?" He turns around and asks.
My eyes snap to his face and I see his signature smirk making an appearance on his face.
Busted!
„Umm.. I wasn't planning on, actually." I stammer out and cover my face with my hair to hide the blush from my face.
„Oh come on, dollface! Don't be a prude." He smiles and in a second he stands back in front of me and grabs me by my hips.
„I'm not a prude, asshole!" I tell him and punch his shoulder.
„Prove it." He whispers and I feel his sweet breath caressing my face due to the small distance he has put between us.
He smells of bourbon, leather and something I can't quite describe but it definitely has me mesmerised.
I relax a little into his arms and he starts humming again and moves us around.
He puts the bottle to his lips, throws his head back and takes a huge gulp. I watch in fascination as his Adam's apple bobs and a little of the brownish liquid spills from the side of his mouth. I stare at the trail it leaves as it travels from his lips, down his jaw and neck into the collar of his shirt.
He then proceeds by looking at me straight in the eyes and resting the cap to my lips. I open my mouth and drink the bitter liquid while still looking into his intense blue eyes.
I drink the last of the bourbon from the bottle and put my arms around his torso while he throws the bottle somewhere behind us.
After a few seconds I hear it shatter as it obviously hits a wall of the house.
Neither I nor Damon break the eye contact as we continue dancing to his light hum.
We dance for what feels like hours while his songs get more and more ridiculous as time passes. I manage trip and fall more times than I can even count while Damon laughs his ass off each and every time it happens. I would like to say how I was able to kill him with my glares but the look on his face sent me in hysterics along with him.
When my eyelids start drooping he pulls me back into his arms.
„Ready to head home?" He asks softly.
„Yeah, I'm ready." I tell him with a voice that portrays strength that I don't actually feel. I'm insecure about everything and I'm afraid that neither he or Stefan and Elena will like the baggage I carry with me. „But we still need to talk though.. I haven't been honest and it's only fair to put everything out there." I remind him.
„You think I don't know?" He smirks and glances to my scar. „But not yet, we'll talk when we meet up with the happy couple." He states and picks me up.
I slowly relax into his arms as he carries me to the bike.
I feel his breath on my face but I don't open my eyes. Instead I inhale his smell deeply into my lungs and revel in the feeling of being wrapped in his strong arms.
When we get to my bike I realise I'm in no state to drive so I reach out and start fiddling with Damon's belt.
He smirks and asks: „You trying to force yourself on me?"
I roll my eyes. „Get you mind out of the gutter!" I tell him as I pull the belt out of the loops.
„Go sit on the bike." I order.
„Aren't you a feisty one!" He says and I watch as his face takes an amused expression.
He still looks a little bewildered but obliges.
I sit behind him and scoot as close to his as I can. Then I take the belt and loop it around both of us. I hand him the buckle so he can secure it. I'm really tired and this is the only way I'm sure I won't fall off during the ride.
He turns around one more time to check if I'm okay so I nod and he starts riding towards Mystic Falls.
My home.
A/N
Hey guys, I'm sorry I'm late! I was at my grandma's for a few days and wasn't able to upload the chapter sooner.
Have you noticed the banner? I finally made one! I know it's nothing special since I made it myself but I like it nonetheless :D
Anyways, there won't be an update next weekend cause I have a competition for a scholarship to attend and won't be able to write it.
Bella's outfit is posted on my profile!
Narnia365- I don't think it would be fair of her to hold a grudge+ it's not really in her nature so I figured she should just let it go:) And he didn't almost kiss her! But yeah, he is a 'big a** baby'!;)
Dark-Supernatural-Angel- Yeah, kinda like Elena, right? Nope, I have different plans for her transformation!:D I hope you had enough of the Della phone call in this CH!:)
Vampirelove41 / lyssmcgrath- You've got your questions answered in the CH:)
Feel free to follow me on Twitter, Polyvore and Tumblr! The links are posted on my profile!
I hope you like this CH, leave a review and let me know! Thank you for the support!
xoxo
