CHAPTER 11
I take a huge gulp of air and prepare myself for reliving the bittersweet memories.
I tell them everything.
Starting from my first days in Forks High to Edward's week-long disappearance, his sudden behaviour change, the Port Angeles incident and the beginning of our relationship.
I try my hardest to stay detached but I feel the emotions I've kept dormant starting to stir.
I also tell them everything about the Cullen family. About the inviting love that radiates from Carlisle and Esme. About Jasper's calming aura even without the usage of his gift, Alice's perkiness and her good spirit. Rosalie I don't really feel the need to explain since she was a bitch to me since day one, but I can't skip Emmett whom I thought of as a big brother I never had.
I don't go into the details about mine and Edward's relationship since that's something that I still haven't dealt with myself but they get the picture.
And then comes the talk about my 18th birthday party catastrophe and finally Edward's parting words and my coma-like state.
By now I'm almost completely numb. That is the only way I can deal with what happened- lock away the emotions in my head and curl my body into a tight ball on the seat.
The weather has been insane ever since I started telling the story. It went from sunny to cloudy in a matter of minutes and has been going worse ever since. The thunders and rain have been swaying the plane to the point where the pilot said that we might have to make a sudden landing but luckily that hasn't happened.
I can feel the saltiness of the tears on my cheeks and mouth but I don't care enough to wipe them off.
It's hard enough having to remember it without actually saying it all out loud. The only person I have shared the entire story with is Jacob and it almost broke me completely. It is easier this time. I don't know why. Maybe because it's not my first time telling it. Maybe because I'm finally learning to cope with it.
„I know that the way I feel may seem irrational but I didn't only lose Edward. I lost other people I considered family. I lost parents, I lost a brother and I lost a sister without a chance to say goodbye." I croak in a weak voice, still staring through the small circular window noticing the weather starting to calm down.
The three of them are silent, each of them lost in their respective interpretations of what they just heard. I try convincing myself that it won't hurt if they decide my baggage isn't something they're willing to put up with but I fail to bring myself to actually believe it.
My depression is slowly making itself known by creeping into my mind and try as I might I can't chase it away because I know I'll welcome it once the people in this plane decide I'm not worth it.
Another sudden thunder pierces through the sky startling us all and Stefan decides to speak.
„Are you doing this?" He asks and looks at Damon who has a prominent frown etched on his face.
„No." He says in a strong voice. „I'm actually trying to keep it from knocking the plane over."
Stefan looks worriedly through the window and then he chances a glance at me with an unreadable expression on his face. Damon follows his gaze and his frown deepens but neither of them says anything further so I turn back around and watch the sky.
„We have begun our descend to the airport and we'll be at the gate in about 15 minutes. We'd like the flight attendants to prepare the cabin for the arrival and we want to thank you for flying with us today." The voice of our pilot says through the intercom and the two flight attendants emerge from their cabin into our space to clean things up a bit and instruct us to fasten our seatbelts.
As soon as we land everyone starts collecting their things and exit the plane.
I feel a bit dizzy and completely exhausted from the crying so I try to grab anything I can to prevent myself from falling but my hand slips and I start falling down but Damon grabs me in time and throws me over his shoulder.
„Get her bike home." He says and starts running through the nearby forest.
The trees blur past me but luckily none of the branches hit my face. Damon soon places me back on my feet but keeps holding my waist so I don't fall again.
I can see the despair in his features and I guess it mirrors mine. We're both at a loss here. None of us know what to do and where our actions might take us but I want to take a risk. I want to take a chance with him, with Elena and with Stefan.
I'm not afraid anymore. I've loved and I've lost but I don't want it to define me for the rest of my life. I'm done with living in a shell. I know that the next thing I do might change everything. It could be for the better or for worse- I don't know, but I'm willing to try.
„Do you want to come in?" I whisper.
I did it. It's done. He's invited in.
Now it's his move.
A/N
Hey guys!
This CH is long overdue but I had school and finals and just wasn't able to get back on track with writing this story.
I did, however, start writing another one that is currently posted on my profile so check it out if you want.
This CH is a short one but I promise the next one will be longer!
David Fishwick- Like a said a few times before: yes, the Cullens will be included into this story.
Thank you all for the great reviews and especially the patience!
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xoxo
