Chapter 5. Heartache…

Shaoran walked to Sakura who was already looking around the room.

'So this is Lounge room' she said. 'Let's look around here' she smiled to the boy before moving on. He smiled lightly and followed the girl.

There wasn't much to look at in the room. On the centre there was an enormous green carpet, on the edges of which stood two green couches and one armchair. Next to each couch stood a table with a vase full of dried flowers. In both bottom corners stood dried plants, under left and right wall stood chests of drawers, one more standing in the top left corner of the room. There were two cabinets, a Horologium between them, and a fireplace in the top right corner. on the wall, just next to the Horologium, hang a picture.

Shaoran approached the Horologium and hummed at the notice it's still working.

'Hickory dickory dock/ The mouse went up the clock/ The clock struck one/ The mouse run down/ Hickory dickory dock/ Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock' he sang quietly. Sakura giggled.

'I can still hear you' she said with a smile. He just shrugged and hummed the song. Sakura approached one of the cabinets and opened it. 'Shaoran, I've found something' she.

'What is it?' he asked. Sakura reached inside and took out a little dusty but overall in good shape, white teddy bear.

'It looks like a bear' she said holding it up and dusting it off.

'A bear?' Shaoran came closer and looked at the toy. The moment he laid his eyes on it, he felt a pain in his head.

'Brother, have you seen my bear?' he heard a girl's voice.

'Shaoran…?' Sakura looked worried again. He blinked and she smiled. 'Another memory?' she asked. He simply nodded.

'I recognise this bear' said Shaoran with a sad smile. 'This bear was Feimei's…'

'If this bear was Feimei's… then why was it here?' asked Sakura, looking at the bear.

'That's…' Shaoran went silent for a second then sighed. 'Meiling used to tease Feimei all the time. Whenever she did that, she always got me involved' he looked at the bear with sad eyes. 'However, Meiling and I did something that pushed it too far… we stole her bear and hid it'

Sakura looked at the bear again, then back at the boy.

'I didn't understand why she thought that was funny' he said. 'After that… she gave up on pranking Feimei, but she didn't give her teddy bear back'

Sakura dusted off the toy once more, before putting it in her bag. I will hold onto this, she decided.

'Alright, let's keep looking' she clapped her hands and smiled. Just then they heard a bursting sound.

'Sakura, did you hear some-' asked Shaoran but was interrupted by the girl's scream. He turned around to see the floor has snapped creating a hole and Sakura was nowhere to be seen. 'Sakura?' he run to the hole and fell to his knees. 'Sakura!'

There was no answer, and in Shaoran's head went by dozens of dark scenarios, before he slapped himself to reality.

'Better go and find her quick' he decided running out of the room. 'I hope she's okay…'

Meanwhile, Sakura was falling down the hole. All she could think of was how it felt like falling from the sky… Then, suddenly, she felt her body hit something hard and solid. She could feel a slight pain somewhere, but she wasn't sure where…

'Sakura!' she heard Shaoran calling her, worry in his voice. Did he fell down too? But he's a ghost, so nothing would happen to him, right? But wait, can a ghost even fall? 'Sakura!' there was this voice again. 'Sakura, open your eyes!'

She whined and slowly opened her eyes. Shaoran was kneeling over her, worried expression on his face.

'Sakura, can you hear me?' he asked.

'Yes… Shaoran…' she answered slowly, and could see his shoulders loosening up.

'Are you okay?' he asked. Well, that was stupid question, he scolded himself mentally. She just fell down the floor, of course she's not okay.

'I think so' replied the girl, carefully standing up. Shaoran hated himself for being a ghost right now. She stood up and dusted off her clothes. 'No broken bones as far as I can tell'

'Thank god' Shaoran let out a sigh, and this time didn't even think whether it was unfaithful of him to feel glad.

'I had one long fall, that's for sure' she laughed. 'Well, that's me for being clumsy'

'It's not funny!' Shaoran cried, grabbing (or at least attempting) Sakura by the arms. 'You could have died from that fall!'

'Shaoran, don't worry, I'm fine' Sakura blushed and took a step back.

'But what if you weren't? What if something happened to you?' Shaoran took a step forward, Sakura stepped back and hit a wall with her back. 'I would have never forgiven myself if you got hurt'

'Shaoran…' Sakura blushed even more and turned her head away. 'You're too close…' she whispered. Shaoran blinked and then jumped back, blushing.

'I'm sorry' he said. 'But I really meant it, Sakura' he said, not looking her way. 'I care about you' he added more quietly.

'Thank you' Sakura replied quietly, then she looked around. 'Where are we?'

It was dark, almost pitch black. She could see only as far as her stretched out hand, the rest was blurred or unseen. She noticed, however, stone floor and walls.

'Well, judging from where you fell…' wondered Shaoran. 'We must be in the passage underneath the house'

'Oh…, then let's keep going' decided Sakura. 'If there is a passage, there must be an exit, right?' she added with a smile.

They moved down the corridor at a rather slow pace. Sakura didn't know if Shaoran could see more than she did, but it was safer to walk slowly. After some time Sakura noticed the wooden door on the left side of the corridor. She approached them and carefully looked inside the room. It was a simple storage, with some wooden crates, barrels and dust. Sakura put down her bag on the floor and looked through the things inside. She took out the white bear and smiled.

'At least the bear is safe' she said looking at Shaoran.

'That's good' the boy nodded. 'But the most important is that you're safe'

Sakura put the bear on the bag and looked at Shaoran. It was dark, but she still could make up the sad expression he had.

'Shaoran, what's wrong?' she asked concerned. Shaoran shook his head.

'Meiling and I did a terrible thing to her, Sakura' he said and shook his head again. 'Meiling always got me involved in pranking Feimei. It was only funny the first time in. But then…' his expression darkened. 'We went as far as hiding the bear and not returning it' he closed his eyes. 'That was one regret I couldn't take back…'

'Shaoran…' Sakura whispered looking at the boy. It hurt her to see him so sad, but she had no idea what to do to make him smile again. So they just stood in silence in the middle of the storage.

' r' they suddenly heard a female voice. Sakura jumped up and instinctively hid behind Shaoran.

'W-what was that?' she asked trembling. Shaoran simply stood there, when there came a blinding light, and they saw a figure standing in front of them. It was a girl, just a little older than Shaoran, her long brown hair falling down , beautifully composing with blue Chinese dress she was wearing.

'Feimei…?' whispered Shaoran coming closer to the phantom. The girl came closer too.

' r' she repeated, staring at the boy. Shaoran looked at his older sister and went sad.

'Feimei…' he said. 'I am so sorry for hiding your bear. I didn't mean to. Please, forgive me, Feimei' he looked back at Sakura and held up a hand. 'Sakura, give me the bear' he asked.

'But, you're a ghost, Shaoran' reminded him Sakura.

'It's alright, Sakura' he reassured her with a smile. 'Just give it to me'

Sakura slowly held up the bear, and Shaoran took it in his hands and turned back to his sister.

'Here you go' he said putting the bear in the phantom girl's hands. 'I hope you can forgive me… my sweet sister'

The phantom girl looked at the bear, and smiled, hugging it tight.

' u' she said. ' , r'

The blinding light appeared again, and Feimei disappeared from their sight.

'I love you too, Feimei' whispered Shaoran, and Sakura dried a tear falling down her cheek. They stood in silence, when Sakura finally approached the boy.

'Shaoran…' she said quietly. 'If you don't mind me asking… what actually happened to Feimei?'

'The same thing that happened to Meiling' he answered looking away. 'That memory was as horrible as a dream that had no escape' Sakura nodded, and he turned around to face her. 'This is the truth about what happened. When the mobs came in their thousands outside our house, everyone panicked. Meiling, Feimei and I were scared about what was happening. Our Father protected us as much as he could, but… things turned bad very quickly. My Father and I got separated from my sisters during the chaos. Father told me to go and find them, and to stay hidden, but… I was too late' he looked up, his hair covering his eyes, but tears still visibly falling down his cheeks. 'I found them on the floor, with pools of blood surrounding them. Meiling and Feimei were dying, right in front of my eyes. My heart was racing and there was a storm of emotions going through me. Fear, sadness, shock, denial… it brought me to the brink of tears' he went silent for a few moments, calming down so he can continue the story. 'I even remember that I held Feimei's body close to me' he went on with voice creaking and trembling from tears. 'For a brief moment, I heard her speak "Big brother"… she took her last breath and died in my arms… I tried waking her up again, I tried so many times' once again, the cascade of tears was finding its way down.

'Feimei?' Shaoran in shock looked at lifeless body of his older sister. 'No, please no. Stay with me, please! Don't die on me, Feimei!'

'It was no use…' he continued the story, Sakura now crying too. 'Meiling and Feimei were gone… forever. Losing my sisters was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced. It was even more painful than losing my mother…' Shaoran went silent again. Sakura approached him and pulled him into a tight hug. She could care less if he could feel her or not. That was what he needed, and she was here for him. After a few minutes, Shaoran finally calmed down and dried the last of his tears.

'After the loss of my dear sisters, I was terrified the whole time' he went on. 'The mobs were only responsible for the deaths of Meiling and Feimei, Father and I were not slaughtered like my sisters. I saw my father die right in front of me, but… I can't remember… how I died…'

'Shaoran…' Sakura whispered. 'I'm really sorry. I didn't even begin to think that the mobs would gone so far, to take away all that was precious to you. It's even more horrible than I could possibly imagine'

'That's why I'm helping you find and save your friend' explained Shaoran. 'You said she was like a sister to you. And because what happened to me, happened when I tried to save them. I just don't want you to go through what I went through… 50 years ago…'

Sakura first looked at him with shock, but then smiled.

'You're right, Shaoran' she agreed. 'Let's go! We will save Tomoyo-chan'

'Yes!' said the boy with the smile. 'We will, I know we will'

They left the storage room and followed the corridor further on. After some more walking they encountered another wooden door, leading to some other room. After a quick nod, Sakura pushed the door open and entered the room. While her eyes were getting used to the dark surrounding, Shaoran tensed and pointed at something at the back of the room.

'Sakura, is that…?' he asked, but right then the girl's sight came back and she saw.

'Tomoyo-chan!' she cried rushing to her friend's side. The black-haired girl was lying her back by the wall, and her eyes were covered by some dark material. 'Tomoyo-chan, wake up' Sakura was shaking her friend, calling out her name. Meanwhile, Shaoran checked the unconscious girl, whether she had any injuries.

'She doesn't appear to be injured, Sakura' he said, as to calm down the terrified girl. Sakura nodded, and took of the blindfold from Tomoyo's eyes. Just then Tomoyo whined and stirred.

'Sakura-chan…?' she asked opening her eyes. Sakura cried and hugged her friend, snobbing.

'Tomoyo-chan! I was so scared! You disappeared like that, and I, I…' she cried, hugging Tomoyo tightly.

'It's alright, Sakura-chan' the black-haired girl replied with a smile, patting Sakura's head. 'But where am I?'

'That's…' Sakura looked around the room, noticing several barrels and wooden crates. 'It looks like some kind of storage'

'Oh…' simply answered Tomoyo. Sakura let go of her friend and looked down.

'I'm so sorry, Tomoyo-chan. I should have gone with you' she said sadly. 'I will never leave you like that again' she promised.

'Sakura-chan, don't say that…' replied Tomoyo. 'It wasn't your fault'

'But, Tomoyo-chan. It was my idea to come here' tried to reason Sakura. 'And you're the only family you have left…'

'Aren't you forgetting about my mother, Sakura-chan?' Tomoyo laughed, as Sakura started to apologise and excuse her forgetfulness.

'Ah, but Tomoyo-chan. Can you remember what happened?' asked Sakura suddenly. You went to that room, I heard your scream… but all I could find was… your camera!' Sakura started frenetically rummaging through her bag until she took out the lost object. She handed it to Tomoyo, who smiled and hang it on her neck.

'About what happened…' Tomoyo wondered, remembering the events. 'Ah, now that I think about it, I think I was attacked'

'Attacked?!' cried terrified Sakura. Shaoran looked as much shocked as she was.

'Yes, that must have been it. Someone attacked me…' said Tomoyo, closing her eyes to remember more.

'What did they look like?' asked Sakura, shock in her eyes.

'Let me think…' Tomoyo she closed her eyes again and sat still for a moment. 'All I could tell about the attacker was that he was wearing a long scarf… he was very tall and he wore a long coat'

'Sakura, that was…' exclaimed Shaoran.

'A tall man with a long scarf?' Sakura looked puzzled, as if she didn't even hear Shaoran's words. 'Are you sure, Tomoyo-chan?'

'Yes, I am sure' confirmed Tomoyo with a nod. Shaoran approached Sakura and tapped her in the shoulder.

'Sakura' he said. 'I'm getting a feeling it was Toya'

'Toya?' Sakura was confused. 'Why him?'

'Don't you remember how he looked like?' Shaoran asked. 'He was wearing a long coat and a long scarf'

Sakura looked surprised.

'He… did?' she asked and tried to remember how the man looked like. All she could remember, however, was the colour of his hair and eyes. 'Guess I didn't pay attention to his clothing. But why would he attack Tomoyo-chan?'

'Sakura-chan…?' Tomoyo interrupted, with a puzzled look on her face.

'What is it, Tomoyo-chan?' asked Sakura, while thinking about what Shaoran said.

'Who are you talking to?' the question struck Sakura and stopped her train of thoughts. 'Why are you talking to the thin air?' repeated the question Tomoyo.

'H-huh?!' Sakura was shocked. She looked from Tomoyo to Shaoran and back to Tomoyo. 'Wait… you can't see him?' she asked.

'See who, Sakura-chan?' now it was Tomoyo's time to be puzzled. 'There's no one there…'

Shaoran sighed.

'Listen carefully, Sakura' he said. 'Just listen and don't speak. Otherwise Tomoyo might think you have gone mad'

Sakura wanted to oppose, but obediently stayed silent.

'It would appear that your friend can't see me. She doesn't know I'm here' explained the boy. 'She must be in a state right now… she can't see me because she is still trying to recover from her attack. So… try not to speak to me while Tomoyo is around' Shaoran asked. 'I know this will be hard, and I know you want to help me and much as you want to help Tomoyo, but in the meantime, try not to talk to me. Just nod or shake, yes or no. Do you understand, Sakura?'

Sakura slowly nodded her head, still shocked by the turn of events.

'Thank you, Sakura' Shaoran smiled and Sakura felt she's blushing again. Thankfully, it was dark and Tomoyo couldn't see it.

'Sakura-chan…' Tomoyo said, approaching her friend. 'I'm sorry. I'm not saying that I don't believe you, it's just… I don't see anyone here. Only you, Sakura-chan'

'I am an idiot…' whispered Sakura.

'No you're not!' cried Tomoyo. Sakura shook her head and took a few steps back.

'But I am!' she cried. 'I got you into this mess, and I didn't do anything to save you… we shouldn't have come here in the first place… it's all my fault…' she covered her eyes with her hands. 'Why do I always mess everything up?'

'Stop that, Sakura-chan!' Tomoyo shouted. Sakura looked at her and noticed Tomoyo was frowning. She then approached Sakura once again, a frown gone from her face. 'Sakura-chan…' Tomoyo embraced the girl in a hug. Tense at first, Sakura quickly loosened up and returned the gesture.

'Please, don't blame yourself, Sakura-chan' Tomoyo said. 'You didn't know any of this would happen. I could never blame you for any of this. The most important thing is, you found me, and that is all that matters'

Sakura smiled happily and hugged Tomoyo again.

'I'm so glad you're okay' she said. 'So let's get out of here'

'Yes, Sakura-chan' Tomoyo agreed with a smile.

All three of them left the storage room and continued down the corridor. When they approached the back wall, Tomoyo pointed at something on the wall.

'Isn't that a ladder, Sakura-chan?' she asked. Brown-haired girl followed her friend's finger and noticed the rope ladder hanging nearby.

'It is' she exclaimed happily. 'We can get out now'

They climbed up the ropes and went out to the evening sun. They looked around and noticed they're in the mansion's garden.

'Wow, I can't believe it's evening already' said Tomoyo looking at the setting sun.

'It's amazing how the time goes by so quickly…' agreed Sakura.

'The evening is beautiful, as always' commented Shaoran with a smile. By the wall they found a set of four gravestones. On the leftmost there was a craving: Here lies Queen Xiang Li, died at the age of 34, passed away from anemia. A loving Queen, Wife and Mother.

'This was where the Queen was buried…' said Sakura looking at the gravestone. Before it lied a set of fresh flowers.

'It's so sad' commented Tomoyo.

Shaoran closed his eyes, a memory connected to the gravestone coming to his head.

Shaoran, Feimei and Meiling all stood in front of the gravestone. A set of fresh flowers was lying just before it.

'Mummy…' whispered Meiling, clinching to Shaoran's clothing.

'Mummy, why did you have to go?' asked Feimei holding back the tears.

It's not fair, thought Shaoran looking at the gravestone. Mother had so much to live for. I don' understand. Why god is so cruel…? We need Mother, it wasn't her time to go. He closed his eyes to hold back the tears. Why did she have to die…?

Shaoran looked at the gravestone, tears falling from his eyes.

'Mother…' he whispered. 'I didn't wanted you to go. We can't live without you'

Shaoran blinked and looked at the gravestone again.

'Mother…' he whispered. Sakura moved right, to the next gravestones.

Here lies King Yao Li, died at the age of 37, killed during the mob attacks. A caring King, Husband and Father.

Here lies Meiling Li, died at the age of 12, killed during the mob attacks. A lively and loving Daughter and Sister.

Here lies Feimei Li, died at the age of 25, killed during the mob attacks. A sweet and gentle Daughter and Sister.

'Father… Meiling… Feimei…' Shaoran whispered looking at each gravestone. 'I miss you. I'm sorry'

They were just about to leave the garden, when Sakura noticed a wooden cross, on the left side of the wall. She slowly approached it and noticed a name written on it.

'Shaoran Li, aged 23 – Missing' she read out. 'I don't think that's a grave' she said. 'It's probably a memorial… to remember Shaoran'

'Why as a memorial?' Tomoyo asked. 'I thought he was killed along with the slaughter'

'No… I wasn't…' replied Shaoran, although Tomoyo couldn't hear the answer. Sakura looked sadly at the cross and then moved towards the door to the mansion.

'Wait' she said suddenly. Tomoyo looked back at her.

'What's wrong, Sakura-chan?' she asked.

'I need to do something first… before we go' she answered, going back to the garden.

'Okay, Sakura-chan. Take your time…' Tomoyo smiled as she observed her friend.

Sakura looked around the garden and noticed a bed of flowers near the bench at the bottom of the garden. She picked up a small bouquet and approached the lonely cross.

'Shaoran Li…' she said, looking at the cross. 'I could never imagine how much suffering you went through… especially when your mother died, then the slaughter turned your world upside down… but, even if you weren't killed in the attacks, I know you're no longer alive… Not like Mechiko… You are gone from this world' she kneeled and put the bouquet under the cross. 'But I just want to tell you, you didn't die in vain. You still had so much to live for… you had a family, had your dreams, you even had a girl to love… but it was all taken away from you, even your own life. It wasn't anyone's fault for the attack, your family was never traitors, they were pure and innocent. They were a family of angels. So, hear me out when I say this: I hope your family will rest in peace in heaven. And you will be with them soon. Finally, after the years you've been stuck down here, you will finally be happy with your family. But this time, forever and always' Sakura went silent and just waited.

Shaoran looked at her, at that little girl, who came to this mansion to uncover the truth behind his family's death, the girl who was afraid of ghosts, and still reached out to him and wanted to help him remember his life. And finally, the girl who now had taken Mechiko's place in his heart. He knew now, he loved this carefree, clumsy and lively girl. Mechiko was his in the past, but now, when he get to know Sakura, he knew she was part of his life too. If it wasn't for this girl, he wouldn't have never get that far.

'Thank you so much, Sakura' he said with a smile. 'I hope to be with them too'

Sakura finally stood up and dusted off her knees.

'Okay, let's go now' she said to Tomoyo. The girl smiled and followed her friend.

'That was beautiful, Sakura-chan' she said as they entered the mansion. The door lead them to the library. They followed the corridor and approached the main door. Sakura pushed the handle, but the door didn't budge.

'W-what?' she pushed the handle more times, but the door remained locked. 'It's locked'

'How is this possible?' asked Tomoyo, scared.

'Who could have lock the door?' wondered Shaoran. Sakura was moving the handle up and down in hopes it was just stuck, and the door would open soon.

'Come on, open' she begged but the door remained locked. Just then the light went off and Sakura felt something hard hit her in her head. She fell down to the floor, listening to Tomoyo's cries for help. Her mind went blank.

'Sakura, wake up!' she heard Shaoran's voice. She slowly opened her eyes and saw him looking at her with a worried expression.

'Shaoran? What happened?' she asked massaging her head, which ached. She looked around and noticed someone was missing. 'Tomoyo-chan!' she cried terrified. She passed Shaoran and run up the hallway. 'Tomoyo-chan!' she called her friend's name over again, but to no vail. 'Where did she go?' she asked Shaoran.

'She has been kidnapped by Toya' slowly replied Shaoran. Sakura took few steps back then fell to her knees.

'No.. no…' she murmured. Shaoran approached her and put a hand on her shoulder.

'Don't panic, Sakura. I know you can save her' he said.

'I… I can?' she asked, looking up at the boy.

'Yes' Shaoran nodded. 'Even if anything does happen. I know you will save your friend'

Sakura processed what the boy said, then slowly got up and brushed her eyes.

'You're right, Shaoran' she said. 'I can save her. Let's go'

She ran off up the corridor, Shaoran smiled and quickly followed her.