Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Warnings: Nothing more than the Poisoned Chalice. And Merlin and Arthur being fluffly~~
Our Past
Chapter 4 : The Poisoned Chalice
"So, as you guessed, my next story takes place when Bayard of Mercia came to Camelot. I didn't know at the time, but Nimueh was already with the people accompanying him."
Arthur frowned. "No one noticed her? She was known, right?"
Merlin smiled, but it held some anger. "She must have disguised herself. Made it as if no one truly noticed who she was. I remember feeling attracted to her; but I realize now it was my magic feeling hers-and her disguise."
Arthur sighed. "Of course. Camelot was truly undefended against magic, right?"
Merlin smiled faintly. "It is a miracle you and Camelot were still standing when I arrived." He frowned. "I wouldn't be surprised if it was destiny. Maybe Magic made sure the threats wouldn't come until I was here?"
Arthur shifted slightly, wrapping his arms tighter around Merlin as he felt the furs they were laying on move a bit with his shift. "Probably." He smirked. "My guardian." He whispered hotly into Merlin's ear.
Merlin flushed. "You are making it hard for me to continue my tale."
"Sorry. Go on." Arthur's tone wasn't really sorry-though he did want to hear the rest.
"I met Nimueh-or Cara as she called herself then-quite soon. She was disguised as a servant, and tripped in front of me. I guess it was all a play. Of course, I helped her with the sheets she dropped." Merlin frowned. "I think that's when my magic first started sensing hers. She was a High Priestess, and while she used her magic for evil; it was disguised-hidden. That's why instead of feeling repulsed, I felt… attracted."
Arthur, contrary to when he heard Merlin talking about a past love, felt jealous. "Trying to take you away from me?" he muttered, unpleased.
Merlin chuckled. "Oh Arthur, I don't think anyone can manage that!" At the surprised but soft look he received, he realized what he had blurted out and blushed. "So! We introduced ourselves, and Gaius was looking like 'Well, well'!" Both laughed. "She already knew I was your servant; told me it must be such an honour. I agreed-someone had the keep the place running!"
Arthur growled. "You!" Swiftly, Arthur turned them both. Merlin blinked as he found himself on his back, Arthur hovering above him. He only had the time to register and blush before Arthur kissed him hardly. A soft moan escaped his throat as Arthur's tongue-vengeful yet gentle-mapped his mouth. His magic tingled into his body, and he closed his eyes, accepting the 'punishment' kiss.
Finally, they parted-breathless. "That'll teach you not to say this in my back!" Arthur teased-eyes darkened with repressed lust.
Merlin wanted to frown, but his flush and his small grin betrayed him. "Careful, I might badmouth you more if this is my punishment!"
Arthur let out a surprised laugh. "You tease! Maybe I should do the opposite then? No kissing and no touching?" his eyes twinkled in mischief.
Merlin pouted. "This would be cruel, my King!"
Arthur shook his head, amused. He bent down and kissed Merlin's nose tenderly. "Don't let other seduce you, then. Especially to the point you badmouth me."
Merlin smiled. "No chance of that. You're the only one." He admitted with a kiss to the blond's cheek.
Arthur smiled then laid on his side. He used his right hand to rest his head, and looked down at Merlin. "Go on."
"She left, saying it was nice meeting me. The day went smoothly then. Until my nose met with the ceremonial clothes! Honestly, one year without cleaning?"
Arthur chuckled. "It was funny, how you reacted. Even more when I announced you would be there. So happy… until I showed you your clothes!"
Merlin glared. "I still can't believe it! Admit it, it was a joke!"
Arthur's eyes shone with mischief. "Of course. You doubted it?"
"Prat. Gwen was very amused by the hat… As you were!" Merlin turned thoughtful. "I guess Gwen was jealous…"
Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Guess?"
"She half-asked me about 'Cara', saying she was pretty for a handmaiden. I… kind of answered she was pretty for a princess, let alone a handmaiden."
"She isn't the one jealous." Arthur grumbled.
Merlin rolled his eyes. "I told you, it was my Magic. I was young and easily impressed, and my Magic still an unknown for me." He smirked. "And compared to my King, no one is pretty or handsome."
Arthur felt the blush forming. "On, shut up!"
Merlin was the one to have eyes full of mischief now. "As you wish, my Lord." Then he turned serious again. "Nimueh was a good actress. As soon as Bayard took out the cups, she took her mask of panic. She came straight to me, seemingly worried. I guess our first encounter was to ensure a sort of trust."
The arm that wasn't used to rest Arthur's head came around Merlin's wait-possessive. The King didn't like how Nimueh had used Merlin-even less knowing what would happen.
Merlin brushed his fingers on the strong arm until it touched the red bracelet he gifted Arthur earlier-proudly wrapped around his left wrist. "She told me about catching Bayard unexpected. She really played well the scared servant. She told he was no friend of Camelot, that he thought that if you were killed, your father's spirit would be broken. I asked what he did with your goblet, and she told me she saw him put something in it. Kept playing scared, as if she would be killed if she told me. I guessed it was poison. I could have never guessed she had planned all along for me to drink it."
Arthur frowned and strengthened his hold. He really didn't like hearing about this again. It was even more painful, thinking of loosing Merlin now. He felt glad to feel him close to him-alive and well.
"I didn't hesitate. I came running back; and as you know I stopped you from drinking it."
"I couldn't believe it. Part of me felt… afraid about what if you were right, and the other part didn't like what could happen if you were wrong." He sighed. "But I realize now, you are almost always right."
Merlin blushed and looked down. "Not always. I am not perfect."
Arthur bent down and kissed him softly. "And I love you this way."
Merlin smiled. "I love you too."
"I can also admit, my father was kind of…"
"Scary?"
"Yeah. That's why I wanted to find an excuse. I was afraid of what he could do, especially as it was an important feast."
Merlin shivered. "I could guess. At least your father took the time to verify my words." He smiled faintly. "He cared about you."
Arthur gave a small smile. "Even if he had trouble showing it."
Merlin chuckled. "True. So, as you remember, in the end he made me drink it. It's almost scary, how Nimueh even guessed your father would make me drink it in the end."
Arthur shuddered. "I really didn't like when it came to that. I knew that if you were telling the truth… I know we weren't as close as we are now, but even then… I wouldn't have wanted to lose you."
Merlin smiled faintly. "And I you. That's why I couldn't let you drink it. I could see how you didn't want me to. How you were afraid-even if you would have never admit it. For you… I had to."
Arthur felt his heart stutter. He pushed Merlin closer, enjoying the feel of his body and warmth so close to him.
"To think that for some seconds, we thought it was alright."
"I know, Arthur. It surprised me when… when I started choking." Merlin shivered. "It wasn't pleasant." Unbidden, he remembered his own poisoning of Morgana. He felt tears into his eyes.
Arthur frowned. He could see the sadness and guilt, and knew he wasn't only thinking of the current tale. "I guess I will have to be the one to tell you what happened."
Merlin nodded. "I didn't remember anything once I fainted. Gaius told me things that I can supply; and… I do remember some things now. But I'll tell you at the right time."
"It was horrible, you know? When I heard you choking… When I turned and I realized suddenly that you were right. There was poison, and it was acting up. I-I never felt more horrified in my life. That was the moment I truly realized how much I cared about you-even if at that time I still saw you as a friend-I guess." He frowned. "I can't tell if I've always loved you but never realized it, or if at some point my feelings changed."
"Same. I just know one day I realized I felt love for you."
Arthur nodded with a small smile. However, the current story stopped him from truly showing happiness. "When you fell, I was the first one to react. I was already by your side even before my father declared there had been poison. I forgot everything else-only your closed eyes mattered. I prayed that something could still be done."
Sensing how Arthur was spiraling inside the memory, Merlin reached up and kissed his jaw. "You did save me, in the end. I'm here."
Arthur truly smiled this time. "I'm glad." He kissed Merlin's corner of his mouth before talking again-as Merlin laid back down. "Gaius and Gwen were here then. He called to you, but you weren't much responsive. He told us we needed to get you to his chambers, and that he needed the goblet to know the poison. I didn't hesitate in carrying you."
"Your father didn't… I don't know, find it inappropriate?"
"I guess he was more focused on how Bayard had tried to kill me. Anyway, we rushed to Gaius' chambers, Gwen in toes with the goblet. You were struggling to breath." He shivered at the memory, at feeling his ragged breathes. "I asked him if you would be alright. He told us you were burning up. Gwen practically stated Gaius could cure you. I guess she didn't want to really make it as a question. I think we were all unwilling to think it was too late."
Merlin smiled. "I'm glad to have you all."
"Gaius stayed honest too-and a physician. He admitted he couldn't know until he knew the poison. He asked for the goblet right away. The seconds it took for Gwen to take it and pass it felt like forever. I could only watch, helpless…"
Merlin shuffled closer, willing to reassure Arthur.
"When Gaius said something was stuck inside, I practically jumped up. He took out a sort of petal, while Gwen warned us you were on fire. Gaius looked right away for what it was. He found it was the morteaus flower. He read that someone poisoned by it could only be saved by a potion made from the leaf of the same flower. It could only be found in the caves of the Balor forest. But the book also warned about the cockatrice-guarding the forest. Few had come back from here." Arthur grinned. "It didn't stop me for wanting to go. Especially when I asked Gaius what would happen to you and he answered the morteaus induced a slow and painful death. I really couldn't allow that. Though… My father wasn't agreeing. Told me what the point to have tasters if I was going to get killed." Arthur snorted. "I felt angry. For starter, you weren't a taster; and I couldn't understand how he was so… detached. I had no intention to fail, but I was 'his only son and heir'. He couldn't lose me for the 'sake of a serving boy'."
Merlin could feel in how Arthur quoted his father that this had been quite a sore spot for Arthur. He felt glad to know Arthur had been defending his life so much, but also sad to know it meant Arthur had fight against his father-and that he held anger and resentment for this particular day.
"I asked if your life was worthless. Even then, while I know I was not the man I am now, I still thought everyone had a right of fairness. No one was worthless." It wasn't everyday that Arthur admitted the young and not so perfect Prince he had been, but with Merlin he knew he could. "He told me your life was worth less than mine. I tried to be less aggressive. I tried to tell him to let me save you, to lend me men. He started saying no, but I continued, saying we would find the antidote and bring it back. But he still refused. Said one day he would be dead and Camelot would need a King. He said he couldn't jeopardize me for some fool's errands. I tried to say you weren't a fool and that Gaius said that we needed it-that with men it would be less dangerous. But he wouldn't even listen to that." He scoffed. "He seemed to be even less inclined to listen. I once again tried a gentler tone. As I told him, you saved my life. I couldn't stand by and watch you die." Arthur frowned, true anger in his eyes. "The nerves, he told me to not look then. That you wouldn't be the last to die for me. I told him I couldn't accept that. He firmly told me I was not going; but I retorted he couldn't stop me."
Merlin allowed a small smile at how rebellious Arthur had been. He had fight for the right to save someone who was dying for his sake. And even more touching, he had fight tooth and nail for Merlin. Though, he held certain anger at knowing how much Uther hadn't cared for him. He hadn't expected him to, but to know someone had been willing to let you die… It hurt. His magic flared in anger, but Merlin calmed it-listening to Arthur.
"It ended with my father cursing and ordering that I do not leave the castle this night. I left to my room in anger. Morgana didn't take long to come." Arthur sighed. "She was really helpful, back then."
Merlin's whole face turned sad. "Sometimes, I try to remember her, the real Morgana. I try not to think of what she has become."
Arthur nodded, a pang of sadness for the sister he lost before even knowing it. "We… bantered a bit, until she told me to spare the lecture because 'Uther' already did it. I said I had one to. That was when she said 'not that I listen anyway'. She told me that sometimes you must do what you think is right. Damn the consequences."
Merlin turned thoughtful. "Sometimes… I wonder if she still believes that. That she is doing what is right."
Arthur sighed. "For her, she is doing the right thing, I guess. Her words touched me deeply. I knew she thought I should go. She told me it didn't matter what she thought; but I guess it was her way to push me. I… gave back the words of my father. Who would be King if I didn't come back? There wasn't only my life at stake." He said the last two sentences in disgust. "I still can't believe I let myself think that."
"Not your fault, Arthur. You always sought your father approval. For you, he was in the right. Granted, there were subjects you thought differently. But in the end, you were but a child wanting to feel the pride of his father."
Arthur looked down at Merlin, startled by how his deep thoughts had been voice by the warlock. "You… keep surprising me."
Merlin grinned, though it turned gentle as he spoke next. "I've always watched over you. I've learned to know you."
It made Arthur feel warm. He rubbed gently Merlin's side, lifting his shirt and tracing his waist. "Thank you."
Merlin's eyes shone with happiness. With his King, remembering and sharing everything, he felt like all the weight he had left him. He felt like he could allow himself to be happy-with Arthur at his side.
"Morgana retorted with a question. What kind of king would Camelot want? One that would risk his life for that of a lowly servant? Or one who does what his father tells him to do?"
Merlin chuckled sadly. "Together, we gave you quite good advices."
Arthur gave Merlin a soft look. "True. But only you made me feel as if I could really be like you told me. You watched me as if I was the greatest man, and I wanted to really be it for you. For as long as I can remember, every moment you showed faith in me made me continue."
It was the greatest thing Merlin could hear. In joy, he sat up and stole a bruising kiss. Arthur couldn't react before Merlin was on his back again, while his own lips tingled. "You tease."
"Go on with your story, my King." The raven haired only replied.
"As you can guess, I decided to go find the cure."
Merlin nodded. "Oh, Gaius told me I started mumbling in the language of the spells. Not spells per say, but Gaius wondered what I was saying. He thinks it was my magic. Like… I can now remember a bit. It felt like some sort of… wall had stumbled a bit, and my magic was flowing so freely. I felt like I… knew things? It's very blurry now. All I can recall is knowing."
Arthur nodded, mulling this. He felt curious, but apparently, Merlin was as clueless as him. "Wait. Wasn't Gwen here?"
"Apparently, Gaius told her I was just mumbling nonsense because of the fever."
Arthur snorted. "Sounds plausible. As long as one does not know the language."
Merlin barked out a laugh. "Quite true!" Then he sobered. "Gaius also noticed then the rash on my arm. They weren't supposed to appear before the final stage."
Arthur froze. "What are you saying?"
Merlin bit his lips. "Gaius looked into the book then, and he discovered the poison could be made stronger with magic. Like this, the poison is quicker. Once the rash are here… death would follow within two days."
Arthur couldn't help the gasp. He recalled his trip; he reminded himself how long he took… "Are you telling me I was really just in time?"
Merlin adverted his eyes. "Yeah…"
Arthur narrowed his eyes. "What aren't you telling me?"
"At the right moment, please?" In truth, he wanted to wait before Arthur knew.
Arthur fixed Merlin some moment longer, then sighed. "Alright." Something else registered. "Bayard was no sorcerer."
Merlin nodded. "That's when Gaius realized something was wrong. He told me 'Cara' came into his mind, and then he could not pass by the connection. He realized it was Nimueh. He told Gwen to find this serving girl." He paused. "Apparently, most of her disguise was beauty. Everyone thought first of how beautiful she had been."
"That explains how she charmed you." Arthur gritted out.
Merlin just took Arthur's palm from his waits and kissed it. "Gaius also told me I murmured your name." Merlin smiled softly. "I do remember now. My magic-and me-we were looking for you."
Arthur chuckled. "You and your magic really love me, do they?" He teased-though he knew this to be true.
Merlin's only answer was to blush. "When Gwen returned with the news 'Cara' was nowhere, he then realized her plan. It was a trap-for you. More, she was getting rid of me and you." He snapped out angrily. Then he calmed down, focusing on something else. "I remember then, my magic heard Gaius. He told me I gasped again your name. I was still looking for you. My magic was coming closer and closer to finding you."
"For my part, after riding for a long time, I found the forest."
"I… remember."
"What? How?"
"Gaius told me I kept mumbling in ancient tongue; and for my part… I started seeing you."
Arthur blinked, registering. "You mean your magic, while you were dying, made sure you knew where I was?"
Merlin grinned. "Yes. We were making sure you were fine."
Arthur allowed a pleased smile to form. "This is… nice to know. So, did you see when I found Nimueh, pretending to be a runaway servant?"
Merlin frowned slightly, trying to recall. "A bit. Bits here and there. Enough to know she pretended to be scared and let you fight the cockatrice."
Arthur winced. "It was quite… startling. Though, I did manage to kill it in the end."
"Then she led you to the cavern, right?"
Arthur nodded. "I can see what you meant when you said she was a good actress. She got me too."
Merlin's expression turned sour. "She got all of us. I could see you going inside the cave with her. It was still a bit blurry; but I knew she was trapping you. Gaius even said I was telling you 'it is a trap' while unconscious."
Arthur listened; quite awed at knowing Merlin still protected him while dying.
"Gaius said I then talked in the ancient language again. We still don't know what I said, but I remember seeing you clearly after that. Like I was right here with you."
Arthur widened slightly his eyes, amazed. "Really?"
Merlin glanced up at him, brushing the red bracelet again with a nod. "I also remember Gaius telling me to fight it." He smiled softly. "It did help me some."
Arthur smiled fondly. "I can guess. He is the father you never had." He saw the flash of sadness in Merlin's eyes and cursed. "Sorry."
"No, don't worry. It's just…" Merlin shook his head faintly. "This is a story for later."
Arthur blinked, surprised. Did this mean Merlin met or learned about his father?
"So, I saw it when she showed you the morteaus flowers; and then made the edge you were on falling. I felt glad you managed to grab the other side."
Arthur shivered. "The moment I heard her chanting, I knew I was in trouble."
"You don't say." Merlin bit out. "And then there was this spider. I have to admit, it's impressive that you managed to protect yourself."
Arthur smirked. "Thank you, dear." He chuckled at Merlin's cheeks taking a light coloring. "What did she mean; it wasn't my destiny to die at her hand?"
Merlin blanched. He took some seconds before answering. "She had light seer power. She knew she would not kill you with her own hands or powers. She just thought the spiders could."
Arthur narrowed his eyes. "Do you know something about that?"
Merlin, for the first time, really looked away from Arthur. Not just a shy or quick glance down; but a true escape from his piercing eyes. "Please. Not now. I… It is part of our past. But I would prefer not talking about it unless necessary." Merlin whispered, pained.
Arthur's face softened. He didn't need to be a genius to know that Merlin heard something about Arthur's death. While the thought terrified him; the only thing he could think of was to erase the look on Merlin's face.
Arthur let his weight fell on Merlin, taking relief into the soft gasp Merlin made as he felt the warm body of Arthur half lying on him. The hand that wore the red bracelet left his waist; instead tugging down his neckerchief. Merlin let out a gasp and blushed brightly as he felt Arthur's lips on his neck. He closed his eyes with a moan when said lips trailed up and down in a gentle manner.
Arthur smirked against Merlin's neck. The neckerchief out of the way, his left hand brushed the tendons on the warlock's neck. He trailed his lips against his adam's apple, rewarded with a higher moan from Merlin. Arthur sucked gently right there, feeling a shudder pass through Merlin. Arthur felt warmth wash over his body; and he recognized right away Merlin's magic. Pure, gentle, and oh so loving. Exactly as Merlin. He brushed his lips up then, finally settling from a spot right under Merlin's jaw.
Merlin arched against Arthur as the King started licking and sucking at a soft spot he never knew he had. If his adam apple hadn't been sensitive enough; now Merlin even felt his magic roll inside him with bliss. The fire they were in front of flickered before the flames became blue and leaped higher. All the while, Merlin felt Arthur marking him with a love bite. The thought alone made him moan and groan as his magic wrapped around them.
Arthur finally pulled back, his eyes catching from the side the blue flames. He smiled fondly as he noticed Merlin had his eyes still close, shivering in delight. "Let's hear the rest, shall we?"
The fire went back to normal as Merlin opened his eyes. "Y-Yeah."
Arthur took his previous position, his left hand stroking Merlin's neck and collarbone.
Merlin had to swallow more than once before being able to speak again. "You were in the dark. I know I said aloud it was too dark. I wanted to give you light, to help you and guide you." Merlin smiled. "Gaius said I chanted a spell-gratefully, Gwen wasn't here at this moment. A small orb of white-blue light appeared inside my hand, surprising Gaius."
"Ah!" Arthur exclaimed. "This is when you summoned this orb that helped me!"
Merlin nodded. "As I said, I wanted to help you. It seemed the best thing to do."
"I have to admit, it surprised me. But… It was beautiful. I told you to finish me off, but I could feel the orb wasn't my enemy. I saw it showing the way."
"But you also didn't forget the flowers. I was telling you to leave them. You didn't listen."
Arthur stared at Merlin. "I would have never leave them and let you die!"
Merlin glanced up coyly. "I'm glad. Though, at that time, all I wanted was for you to be safe."
"I can guess." Arthur turned thoughtful. "Do you know why you like to turn thing blue?"
Merlin blinked several times. "Sorry, what?"
"The orb, and the fire some minutes ago. They were blue."
Merlin shrugged. "I feel like my magic is blue. Or golden blue." He frowned. "I can't explain it."
Arthur nodded. In a certain way, he felt glad Merlin didn't know everything about magic. Arthur felt less unknowing; and it also meant they could learn about the rest together.
"Anyway, I really wanted for you to follow the light and save yourself when I saw all the spiders. But you didn't. You were head set on taking the flowers. I thought you would lose time because of that, but you proved me wrong. You managed to save me and yourself. I kept telling you to go faster when I saw you were climbing."
"I think… Not that I heard you, but I kept feeling the light-like it encouraged me. I guess it was really you all along."
Merlin grinned. "Yes, until you get out. I couldn't see you then. I knew you were safe."
Arthur smiled and leaned down to kiss Merlin's cheek. "Thank you, Merlin." He leaned back to continue talking. "So, I came back to Camelot. I didn't expect to be arrested as soon as I was there."
Merlin frowned, wrinkling his nose. "That's not fair."
Arthur sighed. "Believe me, I know. I was angry. My father was angry because I disobeyed. I told him of course I did; your life was at stake. I told him not to punish you for something I did. He couldn't understand why I cared for a 'servant'. I reminded him you knew the danger and what would happen-but you drank it anyway. You saved my life. And I also told him about the woman-now I know it was Nimueh. How she knew I would be there and that I don't think it was Bayard behind the poisoning. But he wouldn't listen. Simply said of course it was. All I cared then was to save you. I showed him the flower. I told him that Gaius knew what to do of this. I told him I didn't care if he put me in the stock for a week, a month then. I told him I was begging him. Just to make sure Gaius got it."
Merlin felt warmth blossom into his chest. It was the first time he heard how Arthur had defended his life. To know Arthur had been so willing to allow punishment to make sure he lived… He couldn't help the smile.
Arthur saw it, and hated that he needed to tell him the rest. But they were both sharing. Even if Merlin was the one who had the most to tell, Arthur still had some things to add.
"He… I can't believe how cruel he was this day. He just crushed it in front of my eyes." Unbidden-and unwilling to stop them-some tears fell from his blue eyes. "I-I still can't quite believe how he was going to let you die to teach me a lesson. 'A right and wrong way to do things' Ah! He could have just said his way and others!"
Merlin sat up, alarmed at how worked up Arthur became. "Hey, hey. Look." He caught his face and turned him so he was staring into his eyes. "I'm here. It's fine. It's over now."
Arthur closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Merlin. He breathed deeply, calming himself. "I never want to lose you. Ever." He whispered as he trembled.
Merlin gave him his most loving smile as his King opened sad eyes on him. "You won't."
Arthur gulped and nodded. "H-He even had the nerve to say I could find myself another servant when I was left out." He bit his lips as Merlin pointedly looked at him. They took back their positions; though Arthur allowed his body to be closer to Merlin. He let his head on his right hand some moment; then he finally allowed himself more vulnerability and laid his head on Merlin's chest. Hearing his heart beating felt like a balm. "It was… It was one of those rare occasions I… hated my father." He admitted quietly. As if sharing a shameful secret.
Merlin let his hand brush softly Arthur's blond hairs. "If I had been in your place, if someone-anyone-crushed the only mean to save you… I couldn't not hate them." Merlin reassured.
Arthur tightened his grip on Merlin's body, sighing contently as he felt Merlin breathing. "Once he left, I tried desperately to take back the flower. He had let it fall outside. Gratefully, I did manage to catch and drag it back to me."
Merlin allowed himself to leaned down and kiss the top of Arthur's hair. For once, the King was the one in need of comfort. He could only guess how it had felt, seeing the flower crumble just outside-maybe out of reach.
"I felt so relieved when I saw Gwen come inside my cell." He paused. "Were you… so bad she took so much risk? I mean, I still thought you still had one or two days; I just thought maybe Gaius and her could wait, or try to talk sense into my father."
Merlin stopped stroking the other man's hairs for a second. "Gaius told me I had a lot of trouble breathing, and that I sweated a lot because of my fever." He winced. "He had also been right. It was painful."
"Oh Merlin…" Arthur whispered. "I feel really, really glad she sneaked inside. And that she understood I put the flower with the food when I said I couldn't possibly eat the food." He smiled faintly. "Told her I wasn't sure it was fit for anyone."
Merlin chuckled as he understood the hidden meaning. "I'm not the only one sneaky."
Arthur laughed; the feeling of his laughs echoing inside Merlin from their closeness. "I guess Gwen did manage to bring it to Gaius in time?"
"… You can say that."
Arthur remembered earlier. "What happened?"
"… Gaius told me that… He first told Gwen to search for water-because he needed to use magic."
"What?"
"The poison had been created by magic. Magic was needed to make the antidote. But that isn't what happened. He gave me the antidote, but in front of Gwen and Gaius… I stopped breathing and my heart stopped. He told me I was dead for a bit more than a minute."
Arthur raised his head with wide eyes. "No… But…"
Merlin smiled as reassuringly as he could. "I'm still here. Gaius and I still don't know what happened really. He told me he knew the antidote had come too late. We think… It was my magic saving me. Resurrecting me. Maybe it used the antidote."
Arthur stared a bit longer at Merlin; and then couldn't help but raised himself to kiss Merlin. Almost desperately, he licked his lips, plunging his tongue inside his mouth as soon as he was allowed entrance. He knew it was years ago. He knew Merlin was here.
It didn't change the fact Merlin had died without him knowing; and might have stayed that way if it hadn't been for this so 'forbidden' magic. In all his life, this was the first time he was thanking with all his heart magic. It had saved Merlin.
Eventually, they parted. Merlin stroked Arthur's cheek, letting his King watch his face. He knew he needed the reassurance. The kiss had left him breathless-and not only by the passion behind it. He felt breathless to have felt so much how Arthur feared losing him. It felt like his own fear of losing Arthur.
"So. That's when Gwen kissed me."
"When you were d-dead?" Arthur stuttered the last word; though his surprise stopped most of the fear and sadness.
Merlin let out a surprised laugh. "No! I wake up suddenly; telling them as I saw them hug it was disgusting because Gaius could be her grandfather. Not great, I know; but I just woke up with no memories since I drank. They came much later. And that's when in her surprise and joy, Gwen kissed me."
"Ah… I see." Arthur sheepishly said. Then he frowned faintly, not realizing he was pouting a bit. "A kiss… Kiss?" Merlin raised an eyebrow. Arthur coughed with a blush. "Tongues?"
Merlin flushed brighter than a tomato. "No! Just a press of the lips! I didn't even use tongue with Freya!"
Arthur sighed, relieved; before registering. "Freya?"
Merlin's eyes saddened. "It was her name. The one I loved."
Arthur didn't ask more. He already knew about the fact Merlin loved, once. He had felt something had gone wrong. Now, he felt sure Freya was dead.
"So. Gwen kissed me. Then she apologized. I… said it was more than fine."
Arthur pouted.
"I was still in shock! And we weren't yet… I still didn't…"
Arthur laughed. "I know, idiot!" He teased fondly.
"Anyway! Gaius stopped the war with Mercia that almost erupted by telling your father it was Nimueh. Made him see it was what she wanted."
Arthur frowned. "So, not only she could have kill us both; she also could have lead Camelot to war?"
Merlin nodded. "Sadly, yes. She was really dangerous."
"Indeed. I think even father feared her. When Bayard left, he talked to me in the yard. I just had finished talking with Morgana about how I was saved by the blue orb-that I was helped. It was the first time I really started thinking not all magic was evil. Someone knew I was in danger and send a light."
Arthur looked fondly at Merlin, who blushed. "So, your father talked to you?" he redirected.
Arthur chuckled but accepted the redirection. "He asked me about the 'woman I met inside the forest' and what she told me." He smiled ruefully. "I guess he was afraid she told me about how I was born."
Merlin smiled sadly. "I'm sure he had been afraid for you too."
"Yes, I think so. He did ask me if I had been afraid." Arthur sighed. "But then he went on with how those who practice magic are evil. That they despise and see to destroy goodness. Though, the way he talked, calling her evil… I had a feeling he knew her. When I asked though, he just said knowing one sorcerer is knowing all of them." He glanced at Merlin. "Obviously, he was wrong."
Merlin beamed. He still couldn't quite believe it, though his magic certainly knew how Arthur had accepted him. It coiled and surged whenever Arthur talked, looked or touched him. It wasn't really a lie to say it loved Arthur as much as he did.
"The most surprising thing was he told me I did the right thing; even though I was disobeying him. He told me he was proud of me."
Merlin watched as Arthur raised himself a bit, no longer on his chest. "You must have been happy."
Arthur put his head on his right hand again, his left hand brushing tenderly Merlin's cheek and mouth. "Yes, but not as much as knowing you were alive. That's why I come to see you. I wanted to see by myself how you were."
"And I was happy to see. Gaius told me you saved me. You still hide behind a half-banter though." He teased slightly.
A corner of Arthur's lips lifted. "We were never quite good at talking serious without banter."
"We still are. Less than before, but I don't think we will ever stop."
"And I don't want us to."
Merlin and Arthur exchanged a pleased grin. Their banter was part of their relationship; and both felt glad the other felt the same. It didn't mean they wouldn't be more open to each other-just that they had no wish to change because they were lovers now.
"We still thanked each other." Merlin added.
"True. I think we both felt the need to, in the end." Arthur paused. "I think… That was the very moment I accepted truly our friendship. I didn't really care anymore that you were a servant. You almost died for me. I couldn't forget that-even if I was not always the best of friends."
Merlin smiled. "Everyone has their downsides. You saved me this day too; and I knew then-really knew-Kilgharrah was right. I could see myself staying by your side."
Arthur let his left hand stop stroking Merlin's neck and went back to his waist-pushing him closer. He leaned down, allowing them to share a soft kiss. A new Thank You to share for this day so many years ago.
To be continued…
