A/N: Thanks for all the review and follows! I hope my story continues to please you :) Wow, (a bit) over 80 reviews? I'm so happy! XD If we could make it to at least 100... That would make my whole year! I don't expect anything from my readers... I just want you to enjoy my stories but a girl can dream, right? I love you guys, you're all awesome~ Too forward? Oh well...


In a Fruits Basket - Chapter 18: Reason

Recap:

Suddenly, she threw herself at me, hugging me tightly. "I'm so sorry, Arya. All those times I argued or hurt your feelings... I'm sorry." She began to cry on my shoulder, sniffling. Her arms twitched around me. "I didn't even know how bad of a sister I was."

I'm sorry.

I gasped softly, limp in her arms. "I... I was also a bad sister," I choked out, "I am, too. Mai, I'm sorry, too!" ...

I managed a small smile, saying between sobs, "Now get out of here, idiot." She sniffed, releasing me and heading for the door. She faced me, wiping her eyes.

"Little pest," she shot back, smiling a bit. She quietly exited the room, closing the door behind her.

I'm sorry.


Warmth.

That's what I felt, watching Mai leave the room through tear filled eyes that blurred my vision. They were warm, sliding down my flushed face.

Warmth.

I tried to calm down, sitting on my bed and wiping my eyes. My stomach churned and my head ached. I looked down at my hands. They were blotchy and pink, trembling uncontrollably. They were the hands that grabbed Mai's wrists and slammed her to the wall.

I hurt my sister.

We argued again. Like always. We would end our conversation with icy glares and cold remarks.

Cold.

No, the look she gave me before she closed the door was... warmer. Her eyes said, "I forgive you". My smile back at her said the same. My heart felt lighter too.

I remember looking back and actually telling myself that I hated Mai and that she hated me back. We hated the fact that we were forced to stay in the same house and stay together because we were sisters. We were an embarrassment to our family. Everyone knew that we fought almost all the time.

Now I could feel the air around us, the tension between us fade. That sick, painful feeling I experienced every time I faced her or talked to her disappeared, and was replaced with something lighter. It was like a breath of fresh air from the suffocating tension.

"Uh, Arya," Shigure began nervously, walking into the room, "are you and Mai alright? You were quite loud - we heard you from downstairs."

I nodded slightly. "We're fine. Better than we've ever been."

"I see."

"I'm not saying we're not going to get into anymore fights, but I can't see it happening a lot like we used to," I added then pressed my lips firmly together. "I'm sorry we've been a slight burden whenever we fought. It must've been a pain."

I heard Mai's voice talking to Yuki outside, her voice soft and gentle. I peered out my window, seeing the two chatting on the porch.

The whole reason why we fought was because we kept comparing ourselves and tried to surpass each other. We were so focused on ourselves and only the qualities of someone else that we didn't even notice our feelings about it. We just expressed it through arguments and fighting.

But now, with that gone and us knowing how we really felt, we didn't need to compare anymore. We didn't need to beat each other anymore. We've accepted who we were. There were no more expectations or competitions.

"What did you do?" Kyo questioned, leaning on the door frame outside of my room.

"You're wondering as well, aren't you, Kyo?" Shigure sighed, "These girls are a mystery..."

"For some reason when you say that, it just sounds wrong. I'm pretty sure the whole house is wondering what happened. The shouting was pretty damn loud," Kyo muttered.

My back was facing him as I continued to watch Mai struggle with her words when she spoke with Yuki.

"I'm sorry I was acting, uh - like an... an idiot," she spluttered. "I just... I like you a lot, too! I sound so girly, dammit! I like spending time with you and hanging out and shopping!" They met eyes, then she exhaled in exasperation, "Don't make this more difficult for me! Say something!"

"Oh." Yuki's eyes were wide. He simply smiled and took her hand. "Thank you."

Mai's hand trembled then clenched into a fist. "Idiot!" She slammed a hard punch on his arm with her free hand. Yuki winced and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Why -"

"That Motoko girl pissed me off!" Mai snapped, "I hurt your feelings over and over again, I express my feelings like a blubbering fool, and all you do is thank me? Who does that?" She huffed, catching her breath. "I don't deserve that! Get mad at me, or... I don't know!"

Yuki chuckled softly. Mai furrowed her eyebrows and ran at him. "Quit laughing!"

Poof!

I smiled to myself when I saw the expression on her face. Finally, I answered Kyo's question.

"I argued with my sister," I replied.

After a long pause, he spoke up. "How does that solve anything?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't. But there was something different about it today..." Even if we were fighting with each other, it wasn't out of hatred.

The next morning, I got up pretty early. I had no idea why, all I knew was that I was still damn tired. Mai was humming to herself as she glided around the kitchen, preparing breakfast for us.

"Morning Arya," she greeted me with a smile. "You're up early."

"Thanks for stating the obvious. I swear everyone says that when I wake up before ten," I grumbled, scratching the back of my head.

Kyo was standing beside the fridge, milk and cereal in hand. "'Cause you always sleep in like that damn rat."

"It's not everyday we see you up at this hour," Mai added, eyes glued on the fried rice she was tossing. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine," I replied, and let out a long yawn, "Just sleepy."

"Then go back to sleep, kiddo," she snapped. "It's gets annoying when you complain about how tired you are."

The room went silent and Kyo glanced at us before eating his cereal.

"You got about forty-five more minutes until it's time to get ready for school," she added, not looking up once.

"Guess you're right," I sighed. "See you in a few." I started to head upstairs when I felt a hand tightly grip my shoulder. I spun around to meet my eyes with fierce, amber ones.

"You sure you're okay? Coming down with a fever again, or something?" Kyo demanded, "You don't have to go to school, you might overdo it again."

"I'm fine," I answered, "I couldn't sleep very well last night, is all."

"A lot of stuff on your mind?" he asked.

I simply nodded. "Yeah. Thanks for worrying."

He released me and turned away, hollering, "Who said I was worried? Get to bed!"


"Arya, would you like to go shopping with me? To like, the mall, or something?"

I perked up from the book I was reading in the library and raised an eyebrow. "Why are you following me around?" I huffed.

"Who says I'm following you?"

"You never come to the library after school," I answered. I shrugged and stood up from my seat. "You that desperate, Mai?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "C'mon, I'm trying to be nice here."

"I've got homework."

"You're reading a shoujo manga," she deadpanned. "Now hurry up, I wanna go to the mall."

"You... want to go with me... to the mall?" I inquired.

Mai nodded slightly. "Yeah, 'cause, y'know... as a big sister I should be taking you out and stuff... so yeah."

"'So yeah'?" I gave her a smug look, then hid my face behind my book, snickering to myself.

"Just come with me, dammit!"

"Shh!" The librarian hushed us coldly, sending us glares.


I haven't gone to the mall with Mai in so long. With the money I saved up on, I was able to buy a few shirts and a new pair of jeans. Mai on the other hand, went on a shopping spree. I don't know where all that money came from, but I could tell she was saving up for a long time... and spent most of it in an hour.

"So..." I began, we walked around the mall, smoothies in hand, "how are you and Yuki now?"

She quietly slurped her mango smoothie, then swallowed, licking her lips. "We're alright."

"That's so vague."

"You're so nosy," she retorted.

I laughed, sipping my own frothy drink. The tart taste of strawberry and orange covered my taste buds. "I've been told that many times."

"'Cause you are!" she said a bit loudly, grinning.

"So?"

"So what?"

With a straight look on my face, I blinked. Once, twice, then at the third time, slowly. Mai furrowed her eyebrows at me. "What do you want?"

I stayed silent and continued to blink. "What else? Gosh Mai, I just wanna know if you and Yuki are in a relationship!" I mumbled, sipping my smoothie, "You really are an idiot..."

"Huh?" She demanded, "You say something? Say that again to my face!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Avoiding the topic, are we?"

She sighed, pulling at her hair. "Okay, you really wanna know?"

"I... I did use to like him, after all," I noted.

Her eyes fell to her feet as we continued to walk. "Right..."

"That's fine, really, Mai. We went over this," I told her gently.

"Well, Yuki and I are dating, but I wouldn't say we're official yet," she answered. "We're not ready for that anyway. It's weird."

"I know the feeling," I muttered, thinking of Riku.

Mai threw away her finished smoothie and pursed her lips slightly. "They were worried about you, y'know."

I gasped slightly. "Did you read my mind or-?"

"Who else asked you out on a date?" she asked.

"True."

"Yeah, I didn't suggest anything. They just went out to check on you, I guess."

I nodded, finishing the last of my drink. "Mhmm..."

"They wanted to anyway. They were talking on and on like old ladies about you and how Riku might've... taken advantage of you."

I choked at my last gulp. I coughed and stared at my sister, eyes wide. "Take advantage?" I hissed.

She laughed. "Yeah."

"Do they really think I'm that weak? And Riku's not a bad guy..." I mumbled, pressing my two index fingers together nervously.

"Like I said, they were just worried about you," she giggled. She exhaled. "And... I'm glad they were there to get you... y'know, when I wasn't there to help. We're lucky to have them as friends to fill in for me when I can't be there for you."

"When we weren't there for each other," I corrected her.

"That's true."

I nodded again and gave her a smile. "Now, what's your favourite shop here?"

I hadn't had a regular conversation with Mai in such a long time.


"This dress is cute!" Mai exclaimed, then gasped, quickly switching to something else, "Oh, but this top is too... Y'think it'll go with my red shoes back home? Damn, I should've worn them so I could see..."

I tightly held the two shopping bags in my hand. I compared it to the five bags she had. In each bag, she held at least two pieces of clothing. I nudged her and nodded my head towards a shop across from us. "There's a sale over there, Mai."

Her eyes had a weird glint as she looked up and smiled. "Come on then!" She grabbed my hand, then dashed over. I sighed to myself, knowing that it would be a long, tiring shopping day. But it was with Mai and she was smiling.

It was worth it to spend time with my sister.

As we made our way back home, Mai mumbled, "I wonder how the guys are without us."

"Kyo's probably cooking what's left in the fridge." I chuckled.

"At least he can cook, unlike you! He actually helps in the kitchen!" She laughed at me.

I shrugged, smiling. "It can't be helped, Mai! I'm really not meant for the kitchen..."

"Kyo cooked for you once, remember? When you fell sick with that fever and stomach infection?" she asked.

I felt my face heat up. "Yeah, that was nice of him."

"Even though he's hot tempered and impulsive, you have to admit he can be nice at times," Mai commented. "I mean, I haven't seen it enough to really prove it but I'm sure it's a different story with you."

"Why do you say that?"

"Eh, he's different around you, that's all," she smirked.

My face burned even more. I laughed lightly, with the smallest hint of nervousness in my voice. "Well -"

Suddenly, a loud shriek cut through the air. Mai and I flinched in surprise, and jerked our heads towards the sound.

"The hell?" Mai gasped for air, still in shock.

The loud voice suddenly fell and became a whimper. "Oh no... My bag! My bag is torn."

"Just keeping walking, Arya," Mai mumbled. "That woman seems a little... off."

She linked arms with me and started to pick up the pace. Then my eyes widened when I saw what fell out of the bag. Books with fruits on the front cover.

"Wait," I said, freezing.

Mai growled at me. "What is it?"

Honestly, if I hadn't known anything about the Sohmas, I would've listened to Mai and walked along, ignoring the woman that dropped her bag. But I knew the story too well, and this event right now was another big part of it.

I began, looking over my shoulder, "Excuse me-?"

"I- I'm sorry, was I ruining your stroll around town?" the voice spoke up again, but this time, to us. "I am so, so sorry. I can't seem to go anywhere without causing problems for everyone around me. I'm just a born trouble maker, I suppose."

"Hey," Mai replied, "it's alright -"

"It's true!" The woman cut in, "I'm so worthless I can't even carry a paper bag! I don't deserve to share the same air with the rest of the human race. I'm a blemish on the face of the world!" Her voice faltered and she choked out, "What was I thinking? A low life like me should never have come to visit Shigure!"

"Shi... Shigure?" My sister asked.

Suddenly, the woman burst into another fit of screams, holding the sides of her head. "Oh! I'm sorry! I apologize to the world! To the whole universe! I'm sorry I -"

Mai gritted her teeth. "It's okay, really! Please, don't be so upset over such a small thing!" I crossed my fingers in hope for some silence, but all we got were more screams and apologies. Mai mumbled, "Why are we stopping here again?"

"You mean you don't know?" I muttered back.

She gasped, her eyes lighting up, one finger in the air. Her look screamed "Eureka!".

Ugh, okay, no more screaming. My ears are still ringing.

"She's the monkey, right?" Mai placed a hand on the woman's shoulder, causing a quick shiver to go down her spine, stopping her from rambling. "Retsu, was it?" Mai stated gently.

The woman's brown eyes grew. She opened her mouth to speak again, throwing her hands in the air in frustration.

"It's Ritsu, Mai! Ritsu!" I sighed loudly in annoyance before I heard anymore yelling.

"Ritsu, right!" She laughed lightly, "So this is Ritsu Sohma, huh? No wonder you stopped to check on her, Arya!"

"Uwah!" Ritsu shrieked, flailing her arms around. "Even a complete stranger knows my name! I'm such a terrible person! I'm sorry! I'm sorry world! I apologize to all the people forced to share the same name as me! I'm begging you, forgive me!"

Mai and I flinched back, eyes wide with shock. "R-Ritsu, it's fine," Mai assured her, smiling weakly.

"I'm so so-"

"Cut it out, dammit! I said it's fine!"

I sighed, rubbing my forehead. I'd usually slap it, but I've done it too many times and it's starting to bruise. Plus it isn't really good for my brain cells. Old habits die hard, so I kept finding my hand going straight for my forehead. I needed something else to do other than hit myself.

I looked up and met eyes with Ritsu's, which were gleaming with tears. I said gently, "What she means is, why don't we all go to Shigure's together?"


"So Ritsu," Mai began, "what brings you to Shigure's house? Seems like almost every Sohma comes to visit..."

Yeah, because of us. I thought, biting my lip.

"I'm sorry, I'm not keeping you from anything, am I?"

"Well-" Mai began, stretching out the word.

"Oh!" Ritsu gasped out, about to run out the door, "I'm so sorry! Forgive me!"

"Wait, Ritsu, I'm teasing!" Mai called after her and grabbed her arm before she could leave. The monkey of the zodiac sat back down. She fixed her blondish-brown hair nervously.

"R-Right, sorry about that. Hehe..."

"My, my," Shigure chuckled behind his paper fan, "you can't even take a friendly joke from a lovely girl like Mai. Of course she was only teasing. Myself on the other hand..."

"I'm sorry!"

Before she could take a step though, Shigure grabbed the back of her kimono and stopped her. "There, there. Settle down, Ritsu! I'm just kidding," he said, smirking to himself.

Once Ritsu calmed down again, she gasped. "Oh, but where are my manners? I never properly introduced myself." She faced us and bowed deeply. "I'm Ritsu Sohma. Sorry about earlier."

"It's fine," Mai replied. "I'm Mai Nadeshiko. Pleasure to meet another member of the Sohma family!"

"And I'm her younger sister, Arya Nadeshiko." We both bowed back. "Ritsu," I began, "I just remembered, you had presents for Shigure, right?"

"Yes, the fruit books... I was originally going to buy a fruits basket, but I didn't know what fruits everyone liked so I ended up getting this," she smiled shyly.

"They're both about fruits... Makes sense," Mai murmured.

"Ah, yes, but you can't enjoy books as much as the taste of sweet, fresh fruit," Shigure commented.

"St-Still," I added nervously, trying to make up for Shigure's teasing, "they're wonderful gifts!"

"U-Um, do you not like them?" Ritsu asked quietly.

"No, they're just fine," the dog turned to her, smiling, but anyone could notice the angry tic mark on his forehead. Ritsu burst into apologetic screams again, trying to run out of the house, only to be stopped by Shigure. "Kidding! Kidding!"

"Will it be this chaotic while she's here?" Mai whispered at me.

I smiled weakly, "Just wait until the rest of the household gets here."


Tea always calmed the senses, right? Feeling the warmth seep into your skin as you hold the cup, the hot steam gently touching your face and the sweet scent of the tea leaves.

I never imagined it to cause even more stress and chaos into the room. The cup hitting the floor with a loud crash, shattered into pieces, the hot tea splashing and making the floor slippery, causing Ritsu to apologize once more.

"Ritsu, be careful!" I hollered over her loud voice, "It's dangerous! There are still shards on the floor!"

I gently pushed her away from the broken pieces, but slipped on the tea. I let out a yelp and frantically waved my arms around to regain my balance. I fell back on my rear, but luckily I didn't land on any shards.

"Miss Nadeshiko!" Yuki gasped out, "Are you okay?"

"Arya! You be careful too!" Mai scolded me.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I sighed.

The monkey began to scream even louder. "I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have come today!"

When Mai reached out to help me back up, she didn't pay attention to the spilled tea either. As she pulled me back to my feet, leaning back, her foot slid on the slippery floor, knocking her backwards and into Ritsu.

Poof!

Mai got off the monkey, eyes twitching in confusion. "How can that be...? I - She's a girl, so..."

I can't believe I forgot. Being here just washed my memories, didn't it?

My sister lifted the monkey up to her view, shaking it in her grasp. "What the hell?"


My jeans were still soaked with tea after the commotion, so I found myself in my room changing my pants when I heard creaking on the rooftop.

Huh, I thought, pursing my lips. Kyo's not home yet.. Is he? I quickly slipped on my jeans and zipped up the zipper. I rushed to the window and slid it open.

"Oi!" I yelled out, "Who's up there?" I craned my neck in attempt to see the person standing by the edge of the roof, long, brown hair billowing in the wind. "R-Ritsu?!" I gawked at the feminine-looking man.

"Ritsu, get down from there, you idiot!" Mai screeched at him. She had Shigure and Yuki beside her, the three of them below, calling from outside. I huffed. At least Mai's trying to be nice...

"What happened?" I asked them.

"I don't know! I thought you knew!" Mai screamed back.

"Oh, Mai, I know nothing I say can change what I've done but I am sorry for injuring you and your sister so badly," Ritsu cried, covering his face with his hands, peeking through the slits of his fingers.

She scoffed, "Injured? I just bumped my head! I'm fine! No concussion or anything! And Arya... well, it just looks like she pissed herself! Don't worry about it!"

I gritted my teeth, clenching my hands into a fist. "Mai..."

"Why?" Ritsu sniffled, "Why am I so stupid? I'm a complete failure... I don't deserve to live." I saw tears fall. "I - I don't even have the courage to jump!"

"You fool!" Mai scolded him, pointing a finger at him. "Don't jump!"

He began to cry even more.

"Hey!" I called at her, "You're making it worse!"

"Ritsu..." she began, taking a deep breath. Her voice came out more gentle and warm. "You don't need that courage or confidence... What matters is that you are living and breathing. Don't jump... everyone makes mistakes, just as long as you learn from them. If you take away your life now, that's the biggest mistake you'll ever make and you won't learn from it!"

She started waving her finger at him, shaking her head in disappointment.

"Honestly, Ritsu, don't apologize for everything you do, sometimes bad stuff happens then you have to say sorry, but then there are good things that happen too! You didn't do anything at all! Jumping right now... then, you'll feel sorry!"

"Please Ritsu," I added, "how about you come back to Shigure's and we have that cup of tea?"

Ritsu looked at us, his eyes still a bit dull from sadness, but you can see the warm expression he was trying to give. Suddenly, he swayed a bit, gasping out as he lost his balance.

"Ritsu!" Mai and I screamed, covering our eyes. Luckily, he caught the edge, just dangling from the ground. He grunted as he was able to pull himself back up to the roof. We all breathed a sigh of relief.

"My ankle," he whimpered, "I think I twisted it."

"Glad that's over," I inhaled deeply, ducking my head and going back to my room.

"Heh, at least he's not apologizing for it," I heard Mai mumble, then started to laugh.


"What the hell are Ritsu and Hatori here?" Kyo hissed as we walked down the halls at school. The bell just went off, and people were heading home.

"You already know," I told him, raising an eyebrow. "Why do you keep complaining?"

"They're so damn annoying!"

Arisa scoffed loudly, "So more Sohmas are over? How many are there exactly?"

Saki added, "There must be a lot of them, I sense their electric signals all over Arya."

I laughed, "Give them a few days, Kyo, they'll be out of your orange hair soon."

"A few days? I can't last a few minutes being under the same roof as them. And quit bringing up my orange hair! The statement would've been okay without saying the colour!"

I chuckled, "But it's too bright, you can't help but get distracted - blinded, even!"

"Now you're just going off topic!"

"Shut up, all you ever do is complain," Yuki stepped in, as he joined us in the halls.

Kyo grunted, "Yeah, well who made you boss of what I can say?"

I muttered, "He is Student Council President..."

"No one asked you, stupid girl!"

"You were kinda asking someone," I retorted, grinning.

"I would have answered too, Kyo," Saki murmured.

Yuki smirked over my head at Kyo then looked at me. "I have a meeting by the way. Tell Mai I might be home later than usual."

"Yeah, will do," I replied.

"Where'd she go off to today?" The Yankee asked.

"She left as soon as class ended because she got a message from Shigure."

"What, did the writer guy give her an errand to run?" she questioned.

"Jelly buns, perhaps," Saki deadpanned. "They are sweet." There was an eerie silence.

"What?" The rest of us asked in unison, sweatdropping. More silence.

"I... guess I'll head to the meeting," Yuki mumbled, brushing his hair away from his eyes.

I cleared my throat, "Yeah, and I'll head home."

"I gotta pick something up from my locker. I'll catch up with you," Kyo noted.

"Alright, see you at home then."

Arisa ruffled my hair quickly before I left. She grinned, "See you later, kid."

"Bye Arisa, bye Saki," I smiled. The Wave Girl merely nodded.


I was already half way home, thinking of the homework I had to do when I heard two very loud and familiar voices ring in the air.

"It's just a cat! Just pull it away!"

"I'm sorry! What if I hurt it though? Gah! I'm so sorry! I apologize!"

"Don't! We bought those! You have to toughen up, come on!"

"Aah! I'm sorry, please forgive me! I'm sorry! I can't give these to you right now! I'll come back and buy some more jelly buns for you!"

"Ritsu, what the hell are you saying?"

"Oh Mai, please forgive me! I apologize to the whole world! I -"

"So that's the errand Shigure sent you on, huh?" I sighed as I found the two in the middle of the sidewalk.

Mai had a cross look on her face, scowling in disappointment at Ritsu who seemed to be having a tug of war with a cat that latched its teeth into the bag he was holding.

"What's in there?" I asked as I shooed away the wild cat.

"Jelly buns," Mai answered. "The same one I bought for my friends. Shigure liked them so much that he wanted them again."

"He asked me to pick them up too. He said he couldn't write without fresh jelly buns," Ritsu added, relief washing over his face as the cat left. "So Arya, how was school?"

I smiled weakly, "Alright. I have homework though."

"Oh, I'm sorry! I'm keeping you from your studies! It's my fault that you might fail! Blame me -"

"Shut up, Ritsu!" Mai hissed, landing a punch on the top of his head.

"O-Ow!" Ritsu whimpered, clutching at the small lump that was forming.

"Arya will be fine. You didn't do anything." She grunted in frustration, fists twitching, "Don't make me knock some more sense into you again."

"Yes, Mai."

So this is how she's teaching him to toughen up... but is the punching really necessary?

"Ritsu," I began, "sorry about my sister... She gets a little violent sometimes."

"Don't apologize, that's just her way of helping me, I suppose. I really appreciate it, actually. I'm sorry -"

"Don't apologize!" Mai repeated what he just said and punched the same spot on his head.

"Mai!" I gasped out.

"No, no," Ritsu choked out, tears brimming, "it's fine! It's my fault -"

"Ritsu!" Mai scolded. "Nothing's your fault! Maybe I am hitting you a little too much! Don't say sorry!"

"You're right... I'm so-"

Mai slowly glanced over at him coldly out of the corner of her eye.

"I apologi- Please forgive -" Ritsu sighed. "Oh, what's the use..."

"Good job, Ritsu!" She smiled sweetly, giving him an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

He smiled weakly. "Thank you ever so much." As we walked together, he spoke up again. "I... I wanted to ask you something. I was wondering, when you talked to my mother, did she say anything to you - well, anything bad about me?"

Mai looked to the side and gave him a pitiful expression.

"Sorry, I made you uncomfortable. Forgive me..." After a beat, he realized what he said and his eyes lit up. He wrapped his arms around his head and squeezed his eyes shut. "I apologized twice! Sorry! Oh, I just said it again! I'm such a failure! I should be punished! Scold me!"

"No, I won't," Mai said gently, "not this time, at least... I'll let it pass - just this once!" She warned him, raising a finger. She exhaled. "Why? What's on your mind?"

"Well, it seemed like my parents always had to apologize for me when I was young. I had no talents to make up for all the mistakes I made," he said softly. "I'm a complete failure. Just a worthless coward."

We stopped walking. Mai's eyes didn't leave Ritsu's face once.

"I want them to have a child that they can be proud of. A much better child than me. There's no reason for me ever being born."

"That's the thing. You still have to find that reason," Mai replied,

"People aren't born knowing why they came to be. That's what makes life so interesting. It shapes you into what you are to this day. Finding a reason to live can be difficult or easy. Everyone experiences a different thing. Sometimes you make a ton of mistakes before you truly find the reason on why you're existing in this world."

Existing... in this world. Why are Mai and I here?

"And you can always find your reason, you just need to know where to look. Arya and I, well, we found a part of our reason a few days ago. Sometimes it just takes others to help you along the way," she added, laughing softly to herself,

"But, other than that, I hope one day to find a person that will be the reason on why I'm living. And that I will be the same to them. Y'know, that feeling... Like, you're able to say to someone, 'I was born to be with you'. Romantic, huh?"

Mai's face flushed and she looked away. Ritsu's eyes sparkled with curiosity.

"Whether it's to finally end a long fight, or to make a big change in the world, it's something you have to hold on to. But the important thing is that you are alive, because without it, then whether you found that reason or not, there wouldn't be one to begin with. Don't apologize for being here... because in fact... we're just happy that you're in our lives!"

She was beaming at him. Ritsu had tears in his eyes and his face was flushed with colour. I wasn't surprised when he smiled warmly.

Not only Ritsu, but I too needed to hear her say that. It was reassuring to hear her voice in such a gentle, caring tone. I realized how much we went through in this world. How we persevered.

"Mai, I'm proud of you," I laughed lightly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," I replied, "It was... reassuring."

"Arya's correct," Ritsu added, smiling. "Thank you."

"I was thinking about what you said earlier... about finding that special someone?" I said quietly, pushing my index fingers together anxiously. I felt my face burn a few shades of red.

"What were you thinking?"

"N-Nothing, never mind," I chuckled nervously.

Ritsu commented, "Well, I hope to find my special someone. I'd like that. And when I do find that special someone, the first thing we'll do is eat jelly buns."

We all laughed together as we walked back home.

The truth of it is... when Mai was talking, I realized whenever I was going through hardships in my life here, there was always a head of orange beside me, there for me, awkwardly trying to comfort me. I was never really alone.

That was all I was thinking about. Before I was naïve, dense and distracted when searching for my reason to live, I didn't even notice that the answer was right beside me.

"The statement would've been okay without saying the colour!"

Maybe that orange head of hair really was too bright that it blinded my eyes.