Disclaimer: All characters are wholly owned by Stephenie Meyer, and only appear here for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: I've gone about this process backwards, and am having the work beta'd after I completed it and posted some of it. So things may have changed if you've already read them and I found I wrote something particularly boneheaded. I hope you'll bear with me and read it again.

Many, many thanks to my beta TwilightMomOfTwo, who's kept me on the straight and narrow. Read her story "Resurrection". It's excellent.


Ch 3. Moving On

As Edward pulled the car into the garage, I was struck by how novel the situation still was to me. I wasn't in the habit of wearing jewelry and found myself fidgeting with my wedding ring like so many newlyweds do, unaccustomed to wearing something on their finger. Yet somewhere along the way it had lost the feeling of being a boat anchor the way it had the first time he'd put it on. Even without our bargain, it felt right to be married to Edward. I smiled and squeezed his hand.

"Penny for your thoughts, Mrs. Cullen?" he smiled back.

"I am a little sad, but I don't want you to think I'm only sad," I stroked my fingertips across the back of his cold hand. "I'm happy too. I'm happy to be married to you, and I'm looking forward to being married to you forever."

Edward's lips moved in a tender smile and his face seemed to glow as he looked down at me, then a hint of regret passed through his eyes. I knew what he was thinking. "I suppose it's time we start working on that forever part then."

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, a little apprehensive.

"I thought maybe if we gave you enough morphine it would be better, but that just dulls the senses. I remember enough of the experience that I'd rather you didn't have to go through any of that, dull or not." He shuddered a bit.

Thinking about the pain made the color drain from my face. "Can we go talk to Carlisle?" I asked.

"In his office. I'll take you to him, then bring up your belongings."

I rolled my eyes. "I can walk, you know. The crutches aren't so bad." And to prove my point, I shoved open my door, picked up my leg and began maneuvering it out.

Edward was at my door in an instant and quirked a smile at me. "I know. But since you're not going to need me to carry you for much longer, I'm enjoying it while I can. Besides, thresholds are still part of my job description." He effortlessly lifted me out of the car and set me on my feet.

"Fine." I smiled and stretched up on one tiptoe to kiss him, steadying myself with the crutches.

He chuckled, picked me up and cradled me in one arm, grabbed my crutches with the other hand, and walked lightly up the stairs. Emmett was in the living room watching a baseball game. He looked up long enough to give us a cheery wave. Edward deposited me at the top of the stairs and went back down.

Carlisle was sitting behind his desk reading a medical journal. He looked up as I knocked.

"Come in, Bella." He got up and helped me into a chair. "What can I do for you?"

"Did Edward tell you that we're ready?"

"Not in so many words, but I assumed the time was drawing nigh." The amused smile on Carlisle's face made him look almost as youthful as Edward – almost.

"Yes, well, I'm wondering what is involved."

Carlisle sat back down behind his desk. "I expect Edward has told you about the pain."

I nodded, trying not to let the nerves show in my face.

"Normally for pain I would prescribe any of a number of painkillers, the most powerful being morphine. However, as I recall we tried that before. Do you remember when James bit you?"

A shiver twitched through my shoulders and out of reflex I rubbed my wrist. The passage of over a year had helped dull some of the horror of that day, but the scar would not let me forget. Though cold to the touch, the agony of James' bite stood out in my mind, as if my wrist had been branded with red-hot steel.

Carlisle took my response as confirmation. "When we found you in the studio, I administered morphine and Edward could even taste it in your blood, but you had still screamed at the pain in your wrist, not of your many other injuries. So you were still able to feel the venom in spite of the painkillers, weren't you?"

I gazed at Carlisle with a shrinking feeling in my stomach. This was something I'd hoped to keep from Edward; he had had enough reservations against changing me as it was. Although in light of our recent conversations on the subject, I was fairly sure that he would keep his word. I swallowed and said faintly, "Yes, I could feel it."

Carlisle's face shifted thoughtfully as one finger tapped the desk. "If an opiate painkiller is not effective, what does that leave us?" He didn't seem to be speaking directly to me. After a moment, his eyes found mine again. "I think it would be better to try to give you a general anesthetic. If you're sedated, you won't be awake to feel any pain."

"That sounds good. How do you do that?"

"I'll have to set up an IV– "

"Ugh, needles?" I grimaced.

Carlisle smiled. "I'm afraid so. As brave as you are, and you don't like needles?"

"Tell me about it," Edward said sourly, as he came into the office and sat down next to me. "Newborns, werewolves, sadistic vampires – no problem. Needles and blood?" He rolled his eyes to the ceiling and shook his head. "So you were thinking of administering a general? That's probably a good idea. I think I'd rather she were asleep for it if possible."

"The IV would also make it possible to administer the venom more effectively as well."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "That's a novel idea."

Carlisle's brow furrowed as he began explaining to me. "This is the first time I've given thought to the conversion process. All the previous ones were rather spur of the moment, life-or-death decisions so I just did what was necessary. I don't think anyone has thought of making it more…humane.

"Part of the reason it takes so long is because the venom creeps outward from the bite area. As the human tissues are transformed, they produce their own venom which makes the process self-propagating. Otherwise, there wouldn't be enough venom in a single bite to transform all the tissues in a human body."

Edward nodded in agreement. "So by administering more venom through the IV, we can transform more of the tissues at once, making the conversion time shorter. What else would it do?" His voice petered out and he lapsed into stillness as he thought. Suddenly he frowned. "I think I see a problem."

"What?" Carlisle and I both asked at once.

"These medications work on humans, not our kind. Sooner or later, as the tissues are converted, they'll stop responding to the drugs. She's bound to wake up when that happens."

The corners of Carlisle's mouth turned down as he considered this. "That is an excellent point. I think I've been working with humans for too long. This is one place where we are hopelessly backwards compared to humans. Hundreds of years of thought, and decades of research have resulted in a decent understanding of how the human body works, yet in all that time no one has done anything remotely similar with vampires. As long as we were nigh indestructible and never got sick, who would even wonder about vampire health or physiology?"

"What options remain open to us?" Edward asked quietly.

"Not many." Carlisle sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "General anesthesia is essentially the ultimate painkiller. Alternatives like acupuncture have been used in some cultures in place of local anesthetic, but considering the unknown area we're already treading, I don't think this is a good time to experiment.

"Consider this – we administered morphine after James bit you. This is sheer speculation, but perhaps the presence of the venom at the bite zone prevented the drug from binding to the pain receptors, enabling you to still feel the pain. I'm thinking if morphine is present in the body before the venom is introduced, there could perhaps be some pain reduction."

"Until those tissues are converted, that is." Edward's expression was dubious. "We don't have many options."

"Agreed. Nitrous, epidural, anything we could administer may eventually cease to be efficacious." Carlisle focused on me. "Bella, the conversion process renders all of our knowledge useless. The only constant we can rely on is that the conversion takes time, and it is painful. However if what I'm thinking about works as I hope it will, we may be able to reduce how long you feel the pain."

"We would have to be careful with the dosage," Edward warned in response to Carlisle's unspoken proposal. "Morphine could have a compounding effect with the general anesthetic. Even vampire venom wouldn't bring her back if we stopped her heart prematurely."

"I'll research the pharmaceutical characteristics," promised Carlisle.

I looked from one to the other. Between the two of them, they had untold years of medical experience and I trusted they would keep me safe. That was not what concerned me. "It's still going to hurt though, isn't it?" I asked quietly.

Carlisle hesitated before answering. "I think so. I think the best I can advise is for you to be sedated before we administer the venom. We can also begin a morphine drip at that time to try and get in front of the pain."

I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stir at the thought of the pain and I suppressed a shudder; I couldn't look like a coward in front of Edward. When I could find my voice, I said, "Sleeping through most of it sounds good to me."

"And me," Edward agreed.

"It's settled then." Carlisle rose from his chair. "I think it's time we talked with the others."

Something occurred to me. "Umm– " I began.

"Was there something else?" Carlisle asked.

A slight flush started up my face; I wasn't sure how to put this. "If we use an IV, you'll have to be there, right?"

"Somebody has to insert the IV."

I winced when he said 'insert', then I stumbled along. "Well, I thought that this was something that would be between Edward and me, soo…" I trailed off and hid my face against Edward's shoulder.

Carlisle laughed and Edward joined him. "Is that how it is? Don't worry, Edward knows how to prepare an IV as well as I do. You'll have your time alone. Now let's go find everybody else."

= 0 = 0 = 0 = 0 =

As we gathered in the dining room, it sank in that this was the first time I was attending a family meeting as an official member of the family. Yet there was no awkwardness and it felt quite natural as I sat between Edward and Esme. Carlisle sat at the head, followed by Emmett, Rosalie and Alice. Jasper still took the chair furthest from me but I took no offense; it was his way of being considerate.

Carlisle cleared his throat and spoke. "As you all know, Bella will soon be joining the family – on a more permanent basis."

"Finally!" shouted Emmett. Alice grinned and Esme laid a hand on my shoulder with a happy smile on her face. Rosalie's expression didn't change, but at least she didn't look angry. The corners of Jasper's mouth widened slightly and I imagined he was looking forward to the time he wouldn't be tempted by my scent anymore.

Carlisle continued. "It is with great pleasure that I welcome another daughter into the family. However, before Bella can fully join us, we need to discuss the treaty with the Quileutes that prohibits us from changing a human."

Carlisle looked at Edward and I with a more serious expression. "Even without the Volturi edict, I wouldn't deny you the last step to your happiness, but everybody should be aware of the situation. If the pack feels we are in violation and decides to enforce the treaty, we will need to leave. You all saw how many members the pack has. If it came to a pitched battle with them, I doubt we could prevail."

"Run off by a pack of dogs?" Rosalie's brow furrowed in distaste, yet she still managed to make a frown look attractive.

"We have to be practical, Rosalie," Jasper pointed out. "One-on-one, we have a good chance. But the pack doesn't hunt that way, and it only seems to be growing. When Bella first met the wolves, there were five. The last we saw them together in June they had ten members. At that rate, by now they could have even more. The odds would not be good."

"I was hoping we had at least a couple more years here. Ooh, I hate high school," Rosalie complained.

"It'll be okay, Rose," Emmett grinned. "Wanna go to the prom with me?"

"It's either leave or fight," Jasper insisted.

"Do you think it will come to that?" Esme asked Carlisle. "Unless we've declared otherwise, we're still their allies after dealing with the newborn invasion. You and Edward helped nurse Jacob back to health. Surely that should be worth some consideration."

Carlisle pursed his lips. "In the beginning, any violation of the treaty would have been grounds for an instant attack, but times are different now. Some of the pack even came to the wedding – including Billy Black, a tribal elder. So they can't be completely against this union."

"Why don't we call Sam?" Edward suggested. "We've re-negotiated before. It couldn't hurt to talk."

"Yes, please," I seconded. "I don't want you all to be forced to move because of me."

"It couldn't hurt," Carlisle agreed. "In the meantime, just in case this does not go well, the rest of you should start making preparations if we do need to pull out." Carlisle got up, ending the meeting. He motioned for Edward and me to accompany him.

Alice stopped to give me a hug as she passed. "I'm so excited!" she squealed.

"Thanks, Alice." I smiled, then she was gone.

I looked up and my heart gave a lurch – Rosalie was standing next to me. There was no animosity in her expression. Only sadness.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Bella?" she asked me in a soft voice.

There was no help for it. It seemed no matter what I did I ended up offending Rosalie. But her values weren't the same as mine. She had grown up during a time when getting married, having children and growing old with the man you loved were the best things that could happen to a woman. Vampire or not, times had definitely changed.

"I'm sorry, Rosalie," I replied. "I know how much it means to you to be human, but everything I want is on this side, with Edward. We tried it the other way and..." I tapped my hip brace.

"But you can still have children," Rosalie pleaded with me. "You don't know how precious that is! You can't just throw it away."

"But if I were to have children, I'd want to have them with Edward and nobody else," I argued, without heat. "He can't grow old with me or have children. Since I married him for better or worse, in sickness and in health, I figure that to mean children or no children too. Not that I want to have children right now, but that's what came with the package."

Rosalie made an impatient noise. "How do you know? You're only eighteen!"

"Rosalie–" Edward began warningly.

I held up a hand to him. "Rosalie," I asked. "If you could go back and have children, but you had to give up Emmett, would you do it?"

Rosalie wavered as she was torn between two things she wanted very dearly, and it showed as she gazed at me helplessly.

"You see, for me there is no question," I spoke without hesitation. "I know I have to be with Edward. I know what it's like to live without him. So if this is what I have to give up to be with him…that's what I'll do. I hope you can understand."

Rosalie stared at me for a while then sighed, closed her eyes and tilted her head back. "Agh!" she cried in frustration, opened her eyes and fled from the room.

= 0 = 0 = 0 = 0 =

Edward, Carlisle and I returned to Carlisle's office to make the call to Sam. Seated behind his desk, Carlisle picked up the phone and dialed Sam's number. After a few moments he got an answer. "Hello? Is this Emily? This is Carlisle Cullen. May I speak to Sam, please? He is? I will, thank you very much." Carlisle depressed the receiver and began dialing again. "He's down at the Black's place," he explained.

I turned to Edward and stretched towards his ear. "If they won't allow us, where will we go?"

"We may go back to Ithaca, where the rest of the family went when we...when I left you. Esme wasn't finished with the house she was working on. If that situation doesn't work there's always Denali. It might be a good time for you to spend some time with your new relatives." He had an amused smile, probably thinking about my response to Tanya.

"Hello, Billy, it's Dr. Cullen. How are you feeling?" Carlisle quietly turned on the speaker phone and set down the handset.

"I've been better," Billy answered. "I think my feet are feeling some change in the weather."

"Fall is coming soon," Carlisle agreed. "Or perhaps you're having a reaction to the medication. You should come by and see me some time."

"No, I'm sure the medicine's fine. Actually, this isn't really a good time. Sam's over here and we're in the middle of something right now.

"Actually, I was hoping to speak with Sam. Could you have him call me when you're finished?"

Sam's voice came from the background. "You know, let me talk to him. This is about them after all."

"Hang on, Dr. Cullen, Sam's right here." There was a brief pause, then Sam spoke.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Sam. Emily told me I might find you at the Black's."

"What can I do for you?" Sam's voice was deep and calm as always.

"I'm calling about a matter of some delicacy," Carlisle replied. "You see, it's regarding Bella and Edward."

Sam paused briefly. "Is there a problem with them?"

"You could say that. The problem arises because they are a married couple…but they are not both vampire."

"That's true, but shouldn't they have thought about that before they got married?"

Carlisle gave a rueful laugh. "Well, you know how impulsive young people are."

Suddenly Jacob's voice broke out in the background. "Yeah, but they're not both young people!" Apparently like vampires, werewolf hearing was sensitive enough to hear both sides of a telephone conversation.

"Jake!" Billy rebuked him.

"Knock it off, Jake!" Sam said, away from the phone, then his voice returned. "Sorry, Dr. Cullen, we were actually in the middle of discussing them when you called.

"Discussing Edward and Bella in regards to the treaty?" Carlisle asked.

Sam seemed to hesitate. "That and a few other things."

"Well, that was what I wanted to talk to you about." Carlisle seemed to square his shoulders and take a breath. "Speaking plainly, we'd like to request an exemption to the treaty."

"To change Bella?" Sam asked slowly.

"No!" Jacob broke in again. "You can't do it! If you kill her, we'll kill you!"

"Jake! Shut up!" Sam's outburst wasn't quite away from the phone and it echoed loudly in Carlisle's office.

"I won't shut up!" Jacob continued, his outraged voice easily picked up by the phone. "We're supposed to be the protectors, but if we give in on this we're no better than they are! We have to stop it! Hang up the damn phone!"

There came the sound of scuffling, followed by a loud bang as if the phone had been dropped. I wondered what was going on, but we could still hear them.

"Do you even know what you're asking?" Sam demanded. "Are you ready to go to war?"

"Yes!"

"You'd throw away the lives of your pack over someone who wants to be changed? Does that make sense?"

"Of course it does!"

"Maybe for you, but not for me! And I have to think of the safety of the tribe and the pack."

"I don't believe this shit!" Jake snarled. "It's black and white – they bite somebody, it's the same as killing somebody and that's it! Treaty's broken! What else do they gotta do before you'll do something about it? Massacre the whole town?"

Sam seemed to take a moment to calm himself. His voice was lower when he continued. "Jake, that's not the situation and you know it. I know how you feel about this, but I'm sorry – Bella wants to be with him. Why do you think she married him? You gotta stop hanging onto her like this. It's over."

Jake muttered, just barely loud enough for me to hear. "The hell it is, she's still alive."

"Jacob, wait," Billy interrupted. "Let me talk to her."

"I'm getting out of here, old man," Jacob's voice sneered. "I need to be around some people with balls."

The sound of a door banging open in the distance came from the speaker. "You will leave the Cullens alone, you hear me?" Sam shouted. I wondered if he had used one of those commands to insure Jake's compliance.

The sound of the phone being picked up was followed by Sam's voice.

"Hello?" He spoke at a more normal level, albeit with a hint of irritation.

"Hi, Sam, I'm still here," Carlisle responded.

"Sorry about Jake. He's a little upset." At the edge of my vision, Edward rolled his eyes hugely. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm willing to make the exception," Sam continued, and I felt a brief flare of relief at his words – the family wouldn't have to be uprooted because of me. "When the elders created the treaty, I don't think they thought anybody would choose to become a Cold One. Oh, wait, here's Billy."

"Hi, is Bella there?" Billy's deep, throaty voice spoke. "I'd like to speak with her if I could."

Carlisle waved at me to proceed. I took a breath, figuring this wouldn't be easy.

"I'm here, Billy."

"Let me get right down to it, Bella," Billy began. "Are you sure this is what you want to do? You can't go back if you change your mind."

I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to give him any negatives he could use against me. "Yes, I know. I know things will be different."

"Most likely, you won't be able to see Charlie again. Your dad's my friend, Bella. You don't know what it did to him, but I was there when your mom took off with you. It took him a while to come out of that. You're older now, but that doesn't make him care for you any less."

I stared at my hands folded in my lap, trying to fight the pang of guilt, and felt Edward's arm reach gently around my shoulders. "I know that," I muttered.

Relentlessly, Billy kept it up. "If you know that, why do you still want to go through with this? I don't know about your mom, but Charlie will really miss you. Why can't you just stay human? Do you really understand what you're giving up by doing this?"

Part of the rebellious teenager in me felt this wasn't any of his business, but that didn't prevent it from striking a chord. I gazed at Edward's face to find my resolve, and the smile of encouragement he gave me melted some of the icy guilt inside me.

"I feel bad about Charlie and Renee, but I've already said my goodbyes to them. Edward and I are married, but it's not a whole marriage. He still has to watch himself around me, and he worries all the time about things that might happen to me. What if one of the imprinted werewolves couldn't phase back to human? He'd still be in love with his girl, but they couldn't do anything about it because he might kill her. That's what it's like for us.

"And on top of all that, Edward promised the Volturi that he'd change me. If they come here and check, they'll kill me if I'm still human."

"What's this? You told Jacob about getting in trouble with some vampires in Italy, but not this part."

"It's true. Edward had to promise them so they'd let us go. And as we left they said they would make sure we kept our side of the agreement."

"We can protect you," Billy offered.

"I'm not sure about that, Billy," Carlisle disputed. "The Guard is larger than my family, and they have gifts far beyond what Edward and Alice can do. It's not a good idea to cross swords with them if you have an alternative."

"I don't want to put any of you in danger, and I don't know if they like werewolves." I glanced at Carlisle and he gave a minute shake of his head. "Carlisle says no, so if they come here you're at risk too. I chose this life to be with Edward; but the option has been taken out of my hands. I have to do this, Billy."

Billy's sigh was loud in the quiet office. "This will kill him, Bella."

I bit my lip for a minute, then spoke slowly, trying to control the quaver in my voice. "That's why I'm glad he has good friends like you and Sue to help him through it."

Several heartbeats of silence passed. "Alright, Bella, I'll look out for him." Billy's voice was very tired.

"Thanks, Billy. I appreciate that."

Carlisle stirred behind his desk. "Yes, thank you, Billy. And thank Sam for being understanding."

There was a quick exchange of the phone. "One more thing," Sam's voice broke in. "Just make sure you watch her, okay? Treaty still applies once she's changed."

"That has always been our intention. We'll take care of her. Thank you, again, Sam." Carlisle's voice was sincere with his gratitude.

"Okay, well good luck to you," Sam said gruffly.

Carlisle thanked him again and ended the call. "I'm surprised," he remarked. "I had no idea Sam would be reasonable about this."

"Billy, as well. Jacob, on the other hand, was rather predictable," Edward had a wry expression on his face.

Carlisle rose from his seat. "Excellent. Now that that's been settled, let's tell the family the good news. And you and I need to make some preparations," he said to Edward.

The butterflies started in my stomach again, but for a different reason. Now that the decisions had been made, I felt the need for a comforting voice and Edward was busy. "I'm going to talk to Esme for a minute." I picked up my crutches and rose from my chair.

= 0 = 0 = 0 = 0 =

The door to Esme's office was open. She had just finished unpacking a number of boxes. "Hello, dear," she greeted me with a smile.

"Hi, Esme. Are you in the middle of something?" I asked.

"Not at all, come in and sit down." She helped me sit on one end of the chaise in her office, my braced leg extended awkwardly.

She sat down next to me, "You seem a little anxious."

I flushed a little. "Yes, I'm a little nervous, about, you know…"

"Changing."

"Yes."

Esme patted me on the knee. "I'm sure Carlisle will do all he can to make you comfortable. And Edward as well. He loves you so very much."

"I know it will be painful, but that's not what I'm wondering about. I'm already missing my parents a lot and, well, do you…ever miss what you left behind? Do you ever miss your husband, your parents?"

Esme looked out the window for a long while as she cast her thoughts across the decades. "It was a very sad time for me. I had just lost my baby boy. Only a few days old, he had the most delicate brown curls."

"If this is too painful for you…"

"It's alright, dear. It stopped being painful a long time ago." She gave a sad little smile. "My…husband was not a good man. He was so horrible, when I found out I was with child, I ran away. I could not let him raise a child of mine."

"Where did you go?" I gasped.

"I had family in Milwaukee, but I had to move on when my parents found out I was there."

That surprised me. "You didn't want to go home to your parents?"

"My parents wanted me to keep quiet and be a good wife. So they were not very supportive. I moved to Ashland, where my baby was born."

Esme took a deep breath. "My baby had given me the strength to leave my husband and defy my parents. When he died, there was nothing. I had no family, no friends. So I jumped off the cliff. I don't remember anything after that until I woke up in pain."

"Was it very bad?"

Esme looked at me, measuring her words. "I don't know if there's anything I could describe that you can relate to. Childbirth was painful, and I had just delivered a baby a week before Carlisle changed me but the pain of transformation was greater than that. Your experience might be different, though. You are choosing this, and I know Carlisle and Edward will do whatever they can to make it as easy as possible for you."

"Oh," I gulped. For a fleeting instant, the thought of the fire I had felt in my wrist spread all over me flashed through my mind, and I felt my face blanch.

"But I bore it, and you can too. You at least know what is waiting for you on the other side. I didn't have that goal to focus me. I remember thinking that I should be dead. That I shouldn't be feeling anything, let alone this burning pain. Was the pain my punishment for letting my baby die? I had no idea what was happening, why, or how long it would go on. Eventually, the fire faded and then I opened my eyes and saw Carlisle.

Esme smiled. "I was very surprised to see him. You see, I had met him before."

My mouth fell open. "When?"

"When I was sixteen and living in Columbus, I fell out of a tree and broke my leg. He was working at the hospital there." Esme paused with a sigh. "He was so handsome and so kind. I was just a silly girl, but I never forgot him, even though he moved away shortly after that."

A smile touched Esme's lips at that point. "I think I was very fortunate that he found me. The surprise I felt at seeing him helped distract me from the grief. When the pain was over, I was still sad, but also filled with wonder that he had found me again. And I found that the emptiness that drove me off the cliff was gone.

"Carlisle begged me to forgive him for giving me life when I had so wished to end it but he remembered me when I was happy, and said he could not bear to let me die. He told me of his own struggles with what we are, and how he had also tried to end his own life.

"Then he told me why he became a doctor for humans, why he found it so fulfilling to help ease the suffering of others. It was a higher calling, to heal those that his kind normally preyed upon. He suggested that I might find it fulfilling as well, to help one particular person who was suffering.

"That's when he brought Edward in to see me.

"Edward had been living with Carlisle for about three years, and was having second thoughts about adhering to Carlisle's way of life. Though he had yet to kill a human, he was full of self-loathing for his supposed weakness and – when he saw me – a bit embarrassed that Carlisle had brought a stranger into their home to witness his shame.

"I think it was the hurt in his eyes that touched me. Even though he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, an adult in both human and vampire terms, I could not turn away from him. Edward, as you know, is a very moral soul and has great difficulty forgiving himself for actions he thinks are wrong. I stayed with Carlisle and Edward, giving Edward what comfort and encouragement I could when he needed it. Helping him to sort out his moral compass filled the void left by my baby and eased the rest of my sadness."

"So, did you love Carlisle from the beginning?"

"Not immediately. Even though I was smitten with him as a girl, that had been a long time ago. But he soon reminded me of what I saw before – what a good and kind man he was. So sweet and full of compassion. If my first husband had been like Carlisle, I never would have come to this situation in the first place. I think I was very fortunate to find my soulmate in my second life."

There was that word again – soulmate. Something so rare and wonderful it was considered impossible to find. Yet here I had found Edward, who was without a doubt the other half of my soul, and Esme found Carlisle. Considering the other impossibilities I now viewed as reality – werewolves and vampires – was finding a soulmate so much more of a miracle?

"So it was worth it?" I asked.

"More than worth it. When I jumped off that cliff, I had already walked away from my family and an unhappy marriage. So I had less pulling me back to my human life. I've found love, and have been quite happy with my new family. In some ways it's better than a human family because eventually the human children grow up and move away. My children sometimes move away for a while, but they always return.

"You may be leaving your human family behind, but you will always have a family here. And you already know you have Edward's love."

I sat quietly for a while. Thinking of my parents threatened to send a new wave of sadness to engulf me, but I fought it back. Like the Jacob drawer I kept locked away, I knew it would always be there.

The pain of transformation loomed like a mountain in front of me. And while I was still a little nervous about the experience, it was something I needed to endure to grow a little closer to Edward.

I focused my attention on what I wanted. I was married to Edward, and wanted to be able to stay with him forever, able to stand tall next to him and not cower in a corner waiting for him to rescue me all the time. For him, I could take this step. Again, the feeling of rightness spread like the warmth of sunshine, washing out the sadness in its light, and my conviction returned.

I smiled and leaned closer to give Esme a hug. "Thank you, Esme. I feel better now. You're right, I can do this."

She patted my back. "I'm so very happy that Edward found you."

"Edward is happy he found you too," the man in question commented from the doorway. He came over to the chaise, sat down and lifted me into his lap. He started playing with my hair, and I marveled at how easily he could impair my breathing, but then he spoke with a hint of nerves in his voice. "Carlisle has everything prepared. We're ready whenever you are."

I ran my fingers through his hair and let my hand come to rest against his cold neck. "You seem a little sad," I murmured.

"A little," he agreed. "You know why." I did know why; part of him still believed that he would be destroying my soul. I had reassured him many times that having a soul was worth nothing if I didn't have him, but still he worried.

"You know I have mixed emotions about this. More than anything, I would love for you to be mine forever. I still feel I'm being selfish in taking you away from your human life, but I'm more reconciled to it."

I put my hands on his chest, took a breath and looked into his eyes, trying to control the melting feeling that I always felt. "Edward, there's no longer a sword hanging over my head, and I'm happily Mrs. Cullen. I love you, and I can think of nothing that would make me happier than to be Mrs. Cullen for the rest of eternity." I paused to kiss him. "Shall we do this?" I asked with a smile.

Edward's answering smile was warm but his eyes were still wistful. He pulled me close. "You know I've always said you were perfect as you are," he whispered in my ear.

"I know. But I choose you this way."

"Thank you, Bella." He stroked my cheek and kissed me. "Before we proceed, would you object to a surprise?"

Instantly suspicious, I pulled back. "What kind of surprise?"

"Don't worry, it doesn't involve spectators, dancing or crowds of people. It's just you and me. It might involve a dress though."

"A dress?"

"Yes. Don't you remember when I took you to the prom? You thought a vampire transformation was a black tie affair."

I flushed when I remembered how silly I had been. "And…?"

Edward's broad smile and dancing eyes laughed at me. "Well, you were right."


To be continued...

If you've read the previous version of chapter 3, I hope you see how this made much more sense. If you agree or disagree, drop me a line. Love to discuss it...