Disclaimer: All characters are wholly owned by Stephenie Meyer, and only appear here for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: I've gone about this process backwards, and am having the work beta'd after I completed it and posted some of it. So things may have changed if you've already read them and I found I wrote something particularly boneheaded. I hope you'll bear with me and read it again. This chapter has been revised.

Muchas gracias to my awesome beta TwilightMomOfTwo. Read her story "Resurrection". She really gets Bella and Edward right.


Chapter 4 - Another Occasion

"It's just dinner, Bella," Edward insisted. "Not a big deal."

"If it's not a big deal, why does it involve a dress?" I had held my tongue until we were back in our room before having this discussion, not wanting to make a scene in front of Esme. While I didn't really have any strong objections, I wanted to make sure it wasn't anything more than he made it out to be. If Alice was involved, things just naturally got out of hand.

"For several reasons. First, I like the way you look in a dress." He grinned impishly at me and I wrinkled my nose at him. "Second, it's an excuse to be alone with you and third," his voice softened as he gazed into my eyes. "It's our last night together with you being human. So for me, it's a bit of an occasion."

"Oh." I blinked as my heartbeat misbehaved. "That's okay then."

"Besides, you need to get some nourishment in you for later, and this is your last chance to eat real food." He gave me a wry grin. "And I suddenly feel the need to go out on the town with my new wife. You wouldn't deprive me of the opportunity, would you?"

I laughed at the mischievous look on his face and gave up. "I'll go get ready," I said, still laughing.

The prom seemed so far away, though it was just over one year ago, and then I had still been in a leg brace. At least this time I was able to manage a shower without assistance. My hip hurt when I put weight on it but at least I could stand up in the shower without falling down.

After the shower I wrapped myself in a towel and went to pick out clothes. It was a little awkward walking with crutches while trying to keep a towel wrapped around me but I managed. Before I could get to the closet, Alice emerged from it with a dress in each hand.

"What do you think, green or blue?" she asked.

I suppressed an exasperated sigh. "Alice, I'm going to be living here for a while. Are you ever going to let me dress myself?"

"Don't worry, it's only for special occasions. And since I'm being human through you, tonight is my last chance." She gave me a knowing smile. "After tonight you'll be like me, so it won't be nearly so much fun."

I looked down at my favorite sister and let the sigh I was holding escape. "Alright, Alice. But let's keep it simple, okay? It's just dinner."

Alice set the dresses down on the bed. "I can do simple."

That'll be the day, I thought.

She helped me into a bathrobe, then picked me up and carried me into her bathroom. To her credit, Alice kept it fairly simple – for her. She did a quick once-over on my face, no mascara, thank you. I wanted a little change of pace when Alice tackled my hair. She looked at me critically for a moment, then arranged my hair so it tumbled across one shoulder. It was still more elaborate than what I would have done – brushed it and gathered it on one side with a barrette. Alice did something so that it swooped from the front around to the back before cascading down my neck.

As she worked, I looked closer at her short, spiky hair. It was short when she had been changed, so it would never grow any longer. Maybe that was another reason she liked playing with my hair so much. I wasn't sure if Rosalie would let her.

While we were on our honeymoon, Alice had added several dresses to my wardrobe, and after she was done with make-up, I shuffled back to the bedroom. Edward was in the closet selecting a suit and tie, and I picked up the deep-blue, short-sleeve wrap dress that Alice had pulled out. The hem hung at just above the knee and it was easier to get into with the hip brace.

Holding it in front of me, I asked, "What do you think?" I was rewarded by Edward's brightening smile.

"You know what I like, don't you?" was his admiring comment.

"I'm learning," I laughed, and proceeded to get dressed.

As Edward was dressing before the full-length mirror in the closet, the house phone rang. I debated whether I should answer it, since I was still new to the household, but before I could decide, Edward walked over and answered it. His eyebrows went up in surprise and he handed the phone to me.

"It's Jacob."

The room seemed to spin around me for a second from the shock. He had been angry during the call to Sam, and this was the first time he had called me in a very long time. I wondered what he would want as I took the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Bella." Jacob's husky voice filled the phone and threatened to open up the drawer I had been holding shut.

I worked to keep my voice steady. "Hi, Jacob," I replied. "How's it going?"

"S'okay. Are you going to be there for a while? I've got something to drop off."

I glanced at Edward, who frowned in thought but eventually nodded. "Sure, come on by," I told Jacob.

"Be there in a few." He hung up.

"He's dropping something off." I felt rather lame saying it, since I knew Edward had heard, but I was thoroughly puzzled.

"How many motorcycles do you have?" Edward teased, but his eyes were guarded and I wondered what he was thinking of.

"Just one and it's supposed to be sold or stay at La Push." I shook my head. "I guess we'll know soon enough. I'll go finish getting ready."

I put on the blue dress, which wasn't too low-cut and for that I was grateful. Alice held up a pair of ridiculous, strappy heels when I reached for my sneakers, so we compromised on a pair of ballet flats. After I put on a white cardigan over the dress she let me make my escape. I glanced in the mirror and shrugged – it would do.

Then I stopped and took a closer look. What would change after tonight? What was the worst that could happen? No one had said anything about the transformation making an ugly vampire, although with my kind of luck I might be the first. It was too bad there were no "before" pictures of my new family.

My brown eyes were a goner. They would be bright red until the human blood had been absorbed by my body – a dead giveaway that I wasn't normal.

My skin was already fair, but not quite as pale as Edward's. I had a few of the inevitable freckles from the Arizona sun and if Edward's family was any indication, my skin would become more pale as well as refractive. And it would become hard as granite. Holding my forearm in front of me, I pressed my thumb into the flesh, wondering how that might feel. I knew how Edward's skin felt, but thinking of mine in the same light didn't compute. However, with as many trips to the ER as I made, if there was one thing I was looking forward to, it was the durability.

The change didn't seem to touch the hair as evidenced by Rosalie's lustrous golden locks and Alice's spiky do, so that was one thing I could count on. Although I didn't fuss with it much, it was still my hair and I was used to it. And Edward preferred brunettes, I remembered with a smirk.

The sound of the doorbell pulled me out of my musings. "Just a minute!" I called, and grabbed my crutches. "Edward, can you give me a hand, please?" He was there in an instant, and cradled me in his arms before walking down the stairs.

I took a quick breath as Edward set me down before the front door. As I got my crutches under me, he opened the door wide. Jacob stood there dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, holding a medium-sized leather pouch. His expression darkened in anger when he saw the crutches.

"You son-of-a-bitch! You did that to her, didn't you?" Jacob snarled. He dropped the package with a thud and lunged through the doorway, reaching for Edward's throat.

Far faster than Jacob in his human form, Edward's hands flashed up and caught the grasping hands at the wrists.

"Jacob, you don't want to do that here. You're too close to Bella. If you phase, you'll hurt her." Edward spoke in a low voice, all the more deadly because it was so cold and controlled. While Jacob trembled on the verge of phasing, Edward effortlessly pushed him backwards out the door and onto the porch

Out of nowhere, Jasper and Emmett appeared on the porch, behind and on either side of Jacob. It was then that I noticed Emmett's Jeep was parked off to the side of the driveway with the hood propped open. Part of me registered this as odd since Rosalie usually worked on the family cars.

"Is there a problem?" Emmett grinned, but one huge hand rested on Jacob's shoulder, the other one clenched in a fist. Jasper didn't speak, but smiled grimly, and I could feel the waves of calm stealing over us.

One step behind as usual, I struggled through the door. "Jake! Stop it!" I yelled.

Still trembling and barely controlling himself, Jacob spared me a glance. "Afraid I'll hurt him?" he sneered.

"No, you jackass, I'm afraid they'll hurt you! There are seven vampires at home, and you can't take all of them! In fact, if you're going to be like this, just go home right now!" If not for Jasper, my eyes would be swimming in tears of anger.

Controlling himself with Jasper's aid, Jacob closed his eyes and opened his hands wide in submission. Edward released him but kept a watchful eye on him. The tremors slowly lessened, then stopped and Jacob opened his eyes. "Sorry, sorry. Knee-jerk reaction."

"Jerk reaction is right," I grumbled at him. "It was an accident, Jake. I'll be off the crutches in a couple of weeks.

Edward quickly changed the subject, his voice unfailingly polite now that Jasper had calmed us down. "What brings you out here, Jacob?"

Emmett quietly withdrew his restraining hand when Jacob reached down and retrieved the leather pouch. "Uh, I, um, wanted to bring you guys this. It's a late wedding present. Kind of a peace offering. Last time I was here I almost ruined your reception. My brothers had to kick me out like a wedding crasher. I didn't want that to be the last thing you remember."

"Ah, Jake, you didn't have to do that," I said, flustered. It was hard to keep my defenses up when he was nice. "You just coming to the reception was my wedding present."

"Yeah, well, I wanted to give you something that I couldn't mess up. Here, open it." Jacob started to give it to me, but my hands were on my crutches, so I directed him to pass it to Edward. With a nod to his brothers, he accepted the package.

Emmett muttered "Behave yourself," as he and Jasper stepped off the porch and went back to working on Emmett's Jeep. I noticed they kept only half an eye on what they were doing, and the other half on Jacob.

The pouch was like the leather draw-string pouch that had contained the wolf-charm bracelet he'd given me for graduation, except this one was bigger. Edward stepped back to stand next to me, quickly untied the leather laces of the pouch and pulled out a wooden wall hanging of…me.

My head, face and shoulders stood out from the carved and polished redwood burl. The eyes were closed and the head turned slightly to the side and looking downward – a little too demure if you asked me. By coincidence the hair flowed across one shoulder like the way I had it arranged tonight. I had seen artwork like this around Forks but usually of bears, eagles and other wildlife, and was amazed at the likeness. The effect of the wood grain made me think of how a dryad must look like emerging from her tree. Fortunately it seemed to be unaffected by its rough handling.

"It's exquisite, Jacob," Edward observed, and held the carving next to my head. "The resemblance is uncanny."

I was impressed. "Wow, it's amazing, Jake. Did you do this?" I asked with a voice full of wonder.

Jake shrugged. "I did your bracelet charm, didn't I?

"It's really good." I looked at it from a couple different angles. "What made you do the hair that way? I don't think I've worn it like that around you before."

"I dunno," he shrugged again, but his eyes seemed to linger on my face and my hair. "It just came to me to do it like that, and I liked it."

"Well, if this werewolf thing doesn't work out you can do this for a living," I joked as I ran my fingers over the smooth finish.

"And be a starving artist?" Jacob gave a short bark of laughter. "No, thanks. It's just a hobby." Then he looked nervously at Edward. "Say, um, Edward, do you think I could have a minute to talk with Bella?"

Edward gazed expressionlessly at Jacob for a moment, who stared right back, but without aggression. Then Edward turned to me and raised a questioning eyebrow. I was willing to talk with Jacob, whom I still considered a friend, but I didn't want to do anything that was going to distress Edward anymore; I'd done enough of that already. I gave him a noncommittal shrug of one shoulder.

Edward quickly considered, then gave Jacob a nod. "Certainly. Bella, I'll go bring the car around." He kissed my cheek and stepped off the porch, leaving me a little surprised in his wake. The wall hanging was cradled gently in his long, white fingers.

I looked at Jacob rather suspiciously. "What's going on, Jake? What were you telling him?"

Jacob held my eyes for a long while, not saying anything. I felt a little uncomfortable considering the remarks he had made over the phone, and was glad that Emmett and Jasper were nearby. I glanced their way, and Emmett gave me a little wink.

"Why don't you come sit down." Jacob indicated the porch swing. "Get off those crutches."

After I hobbled over and we sat down, Jake sighed and began speaking very softly, resigned to our two chaperones. "I guess I'll get right to it. Sam was going to give them a pass, so I told…him…that I just came to say goodbye."

That set me back for a moment. "What do you mean goodbye? Are you going off again?"

"No, but you are."

I had to think about that briefly. "Oh. Well, no not really, I'll just be a little different."

An instant flash of anger crossed his face and he spoke a little louder. "You'll be more than just a little different! You'll be one of them! Why can't you just stay human?"

"We tried. It just…didn't work out so well."

Jacob's eyes narrowed. "He did do that to you, didn't he? You're lucky he didn't kill you." Then his mouth dropped open. "Wait, that means you…and he…" Jake started looking a little green around the gills.

My eyes rolled immediately. "I'm married, Jacob! I'm his wife! Get over it!"

"Yeah. Get over it." Once again, his face darkened before he could control it. "He's a vampire, and I'm not supposed to get creeped out about that?"

"And just what's that supposed to mean?" I was starting to get annoyed, as I thought we'd already gone over this. "You said you'd be good. Have you forgotten about that?"

Jacob took a few breaths and rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, I said that. Just feels worse and worse the closer we get to…you know what."

"Jacob, why can't you just be happy for me?" My voice sounded plaintive to me but I was tired of getting crap from him about this.

"Happy? Happy over a tragedy? Over a living, breathing girl becoming one of them?"

"If that's what your friend wants, yes." I fixed a glare on him. I knew it wouldn't be easy for him to accept my marriage to Edward, and wanted to help him through this difficult time if possible, but he wasn't making it easy to be compassionate. "You know something, Jake? You need to stop doing this to yourself. You're my friend, but this isn't good for you."

"What are you talking about?"

"You need to move on, just like Sam said. And you won't unless you really give yourself a chance to."

"You mean 'move on' like stop hanging around you? Find a real girlfriend? Is that it?" As I expected his voice was, once again, hard and bitter.

I had to let him go. I needed to be cruel to be kind, but the guilt at what that might do to him kept me from saying what needed to be said. "Yeah, when you're ready for it. I mean, you can't keep thinking about what might have been."

Jake's eyes locked onto mine, frightening in their intensity, his hands suddenly gripping my shoulders. "You're all I see, Bella." His voice was low and fierce.

A cough sounded like it came from Jasper, and Jacob dropped his hands. Both Emmett and Jasper were watching us intently. "Damn babysitters," he growled.

"Can you blame them, Jake?" I asked. "You weren't exactly reasonable on the phone."

"Just being honest, Bella," he husked, then lowered his voice to a bare whisper. "Like I said, I'll keep fighting for you until your heart stops beating." He reached out and placed two fingers over the pulse in my wrist. "Well, honey, as far as I can tell, it's still going."

I shook my head at his stubbornness. At this rate, it didn't look like he'd accept my choice until after I was turned and it was too late. "Think about what that means. I'm married now, Jacob. I want this. I want Edward. To keep my heart beating, you'd have to kidnap me or something. Sam won't agree to fight off the Cullens so you can keep me human, so where does that leave us?"

"Maybe it'd be worth it," Jacob mumbled.

I sighed, long and loud. "No, Jacob. I'm done with this, and you need to be too. I want to be your friend, but I'm not doing that anymore." My mind blanked on what else I could say to convince him to stop holding on to me. We subsided into an uncomfortable silence as the topic reached a dead end. Inwardly, I cringed as I watched my comments settle in and sadness worked through his expressions. Outwardly, I managed to hold myself still, not moving to comfort him, keeping my face calm.

Jacob cleared his throat before speaking, and changed the subject. "I heard you dropped by Charlie's to get your stuff. He was kinda down about you moving away."

I swallowed and dropped my gaze to my hands. "Yeah, I know," I said quietly. "Kinda silly to live with my Dad after getting married though, don't you think?"

Jacob's voice became gentler. "I s'pose. So how you doing? You okay with leaving it all behind? Your family? Your friends?"

"I'm not thrilled about it, no. I already miss Charlie and Renee. And I'll miss Angela and Ben." I made a face. "In some ways, even Mike wasn't so bad after a while."

"Then don't do it. Stay human." As he said it, the hunger in his eyes seemed to reach out of his face towards me.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Did Billy talk to you before you came over here?"

"No more than usual."

I kept my voice calm so it wouldn't antagonize him. "I've made up my mind, Jake. It's what I need to do."

"So are you saying goodbye to me too?" he asked quietly.

The question surprised me. "I should, but I don't want to. You're one of the few people outside of the family that I can share this secret with, but I don't want to make things any harder on you. If I can't make you happy, I'd at least like you to get better."

He snorted. "You're going to have enough to deal with. I'll worry about what makes me happy."

Another awkward silence fell over us. Once we used to be so natural and comfortable with each other. Now we could barely get together without getting into a difficult conversation. It reminded me of Mike and Jessica in their post-breakup stage. Jacob's gaze switched from me, to his Rabbit parked in the Cullen's drive way, to Emmett and Jasper working on the Jeep, and back to me. One hand stole up to grasp my shoulder.

The noise of a revving engine intruded and broke the tension. Jake gave a start and dropped his hand again as the silver Volvo rolled up the drive. Edward stopped the car next to Jacob's, turned it off and opened the door. I couldn't help admiring how he looked in his suit and tie, his pale skin a stunning contrast with the dark, navy-blue wool.

Why Jake seemed to look guilty I couldn't understand. It wasn't like we were doing anything to be embarrassed about. "Are you ready to go?" I called, and felt relieved Edward was there to rescue me from this awkward conversation.

"When you're ready, love," he replied quietly, his expression neutral as he gazed at Jacob.

"Um, right," Jacob said, gruffly. "Anyway, I just came to drop that off. You've got plans for the evening, so I'll see you guys later." He abruptly got up and headed for his car.

"Thanks, Jake, this is perfect," I called, puzzled by his sudden exit. He opened the car door and stopped. I felt a twinge of guilt when I saw the anguish in his eyes. "Bye, Bells," he muttered, then got in.

Edward helped me up, then we stood and watched Jacob drive away. "How bad is he?" I asked. Edward slowly shook his head from side to side. I closed my eyes and sighed. The only thing I could do that might help would be to stay away from him; give him enough time to heal. Maybe one day we might be able to talk normally again. One day.

But for now I had today to think of. I put a cheerful smile on my face. "Okay, let's get going."

Edward nodded. "You'll need your coat." He held the carving so I could walk with the crutches into the house. "Are you alright?" he asked me.

"Yes and no," I replied. "I think it's going to be awkward with Jake for a long time."

"You're more right than you know," he said, quietly.

"You were listening," I accused.

"Sorry, love. His original intention was to tell you goodbye. I wanted to give you some privacy, but then he started thinking about grabbing you and making a break for it. I thought it might be a good time to say hello." Edward's tone was ironic, but his expression was very dark.

I stopped and stared at him with my mouth open. "You're not serious."

Edward looked me straight in the eyes. "Deadly serious. I'd wondered why he suddenly decided to come over, especially after that phone call. I don't know if he really meant to follow through, but I didn't want to take the chance. Why do you think I asked Jasper and Emmett to keep you company?"

"Argh, Jacob!" I cried in exasperation. If I wasn't walking with crutches I would have thrown my hands in the air. "He's becoming such a drama queen!"

"Can you blame him?" Edward asked. "If the situation were reversed, I might be thinking the same thing."

"Oh, don't you be so understanding." I responded with some heat, irritated at how little Jacob respected my wishes. "I'm a married woman now. It is so none of his business!"

"I can be understanding." Edward put the carving on a shelf in the coat closet, took out my coat and helped me into it. "But that doesn't mean I'd let him get away with it."

= 0 = 0 = 0 = 0 =

As it turned out, Edward was feeling nostalgic tonight. He took me to the same Italian restaurant in Port Angeles where he had taken me the first night we started really talking to each other. The site of our "first date" before we even knew we were dating. He bribed the hostess for the same table. Even the same waitress as before was still working there. I was having a huge case of deja vu.

After the waitress took my order – I almost ordered the mushroom ravioli for old times' sake, but got the linguine with clams instead – Edward smiled, laughing to himself.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"The waitress. She obviously remembers us from last year. She saw your ring and is lamenting the fact that we're married to the hostess."

"She should have made her move when she had the chance," I said smugly.

The first time we were here, Edward sat across from me and made every effort not to touch me. Tonight Edward sat next to me, held my hand and touched me frequently, stroking my back or my hair, touching my cheek. It seemed as if he couldn't take his eyes away from my face tonight, and reminded me of how I was at Renee's, savoring my last moments with her.

Thinking about this, I dug my camera out of my purse and waved the waitress over. "Can you take a picture of us, please?" I asked. The waitress took the camera from me and, when Edward and I leaned closer, snapped the picture. "We don't have many pictures together," I explained to Edward's quizzical look.

His expression still had a hint of the regret I saw after we had talked to Esme. I wished there was some way I could give him some peace from his regrets.

I covered his hand with mine. "You're worrying about my soul again, aren't you?"

"A little," he admitted. "Alright, more than a little. The closer we get the more I think 'how can I do this to you?' How could I do something that will damn you forever?"

I felt a twinge of guilt at the anguish he was feeling for my sake. I wanted this so very much but knew part of him hated himself for allowing it. "I'm sorry to put you through this, Edward," I said quietly.

"Don't be sorry, love," he responded with a weak smile. "This is something we both want. I just wish..." he bowed his head and trailed off.

I placed my hand on the side of his head and stroked his hair softly, for what little comfort it would be. Then I remembered the talk Carlisle and I had about souls and the afterlife the night of my awful eighteenth birthday party. "Have you ever talked with Carlisle about it?"

He nodded at this. "The afterlife is one of the things he and I talk about from time to time. We still haven't come to any agreement on the subject."

I didn't have 90 years of debate experience to fall back on, but I thought I might give it a try. "You know, Edward, that question has bothered philosophers and scholars since the beginning of time. Is there an afterlife? And you think in your measly 90 years you've figured it out?" I teased.

"No, of course not," he smiled at my tone.

"Where did you hear that vampires are automatically damned to hell?" I asked him. "I know Carlisle never told you that."

Edward opened his mouth as if to speak, then frowned. "I honestly don't know," he answered slowly. "It's just something we assumed."

I smiled. "That's good. At least that means there's no vampire clergy making up rules as they go. So what makes you think becoming a vampire destroys your soul?"

Edward pursed his lips and rubbed his chin with one hand. "Mmm, maybe 'destroy' was not the right word. I think 'leads you down the road to sin' would be more accurate, with 'sin' equating to breaking the rules."

"Okay, why do you think a vampire is more likely to sin than a human?" I asked.

"It's obvious, isn't it? The natural prey of vampires are humans. Among all the systems of belief, thou shalt not kill is a pretty important law. And this is what we're intended to do – we kill humans and drink their blood. That makes us natural sinners, and I have killed many people."

I hadn't spent much time studying religion, so wasn't sure if I had enough of an understanding to argue this point with him. But I figured that neither had he been inside a church of any kind in the past 90 years. I'd better start small. "So, does that make a mountain lion a sinner according to the deer it eats?"

Edward's brow furrowed with his confusion.

"You told me once that you were the world's best predator. Strong and fast and attractive to your prey." I didn't mention beautiful since that would just distract me. "You're only following instinct, to kill and eat your natural prey. A mountain lion is a predator too, but that doesn't make it a sinner."

"Perhaps, but we don't have to do that," Edward argued. "We can choose not to live that way. If we have to fight our true nature so hard to do the right thing, that must mean we're inherently evil."

"No, that just means you have a conscience," I disagreed. "Look at it this way, you made the conscious decision not to kill humans for the last 80 years. Doesn't that make you good, rather than evil?"

"I wouldn't say good. More like reformed," Edward said with a shake of his head. "Even so, we still go against the laws of nature. What natural creature is immortal? Everything in nature is born, lives for a span, then dies making way for the next generation. How can an unnatural creature like us be good and not evil?"

I frowned with the effort of keeping my argument together. "You see, that's where I disagree with you. You're assuming that as soon as a creature is born or created, it's already been decided that it's going to heaven or hell. Natural or unnatural, I don't think it matters. It's the decisions a creature makes during its life – okay, its existence – that matter."

We paused as the waitress brought my food. Again, she asked Edward if she could bring him something. He smiled and declined. I twirled the linguine around my fork and took a bite. It was very good.

Another point came to me, and I swallowed and continued. "I haven't read too much of the Bible, but isn't God all about forgiving your sins if you renounce your evil ways? What have you been doing for the last 80 years but renouncing those ways and trying to live a good life? The fact that I'm still alive shows how good you are."

"I think it just shows how much I love you," he said with my favorite smile.

"I'll grant you that." I swatted his shoulder. "And stop trying to distract me, that's cheating." I smiled to soften my words. "But even before you loved me, you were trying hard to keep me alive, weren't you?"

He was quiet as he thought back. "Yes. It was close at times, but...yes."

"You see? You're a good man," I insisted. "You take responsibility for your actions, but you don't accept forgiveness easily. And forgiveness is supposed to be available to everybody. Even sinners, even vampires."

Edward choked on a laugh. "I think you'd get a little objection on that last part."

"No, seriously. What's the point in offering redemption if it's only available to some people? I don't see any difference between a human soul and a vampire soul." I might be a little biased on that point, because Edward had the most beautiful soul I knew, human or otherwise. "Tell me something. All vampires start out human, right?"

"Yes."

"Then whatever the venom does, it's just a physical change. And if it's a physical change, how can that affect the soul? Or can you tell me that the venom can burn away somebody's soul?"

"I don't think there's any way to put that to the test," Edward commented.

"Okay, I'm going to assume it's a physical change then. Assuming the human had a soul before the change, that means a newborn would still have a soul."

Edward sat quietly again, his golden eyes gazing into mine as he thought. "So what are you telling me?"

I took his face in my hands and spoke from my heart. "I'm telling you I believe you have a soul. And because you have lived a good life, and renounced bad ways, you do have a chance to go to the afterlife.

"I think you're scared because you're not sure if there is an afterlife or souls. But that's no different from how humans view it. Nobody has ever proven beyond a doubt that heaven exists for humans, let alone vampires. That's why it's called faith."

Edward's frown relaxed a little, but he was still thoughtful and I hoped I was getting through to him. I knew he would keep his promise to change me, but I would feel better if he could do it with a clear conscience. He wallowed in guilt all too easily.

"Hmm…" he started.

"Yes?"

"I never thought of it that way. In 90 years I never did." He flashed a smile at me. "Your mind still works in ways that surprise me."

"So do you feel better about this?"

"I'll think about it," he said, but I could tell he was teasing. "You do know that there are more systems of belief than just Judeo-Christian, right?"

"Ugh, you're impossible. Well, if Carlisle couldn't convince you in 90 years, I don't see how I was going to do any better. I was just hoping I could make you feel better about it."

Edward's brow still furrowed with his thoughts, but he no longer looked regretful. Just thoughtful. "I do feel a little better, love. It will take a more than one conversation to overcome 90 years of thinking." He leaned in to kiss me. "But at least we'll have that time now."

I kissed him back and smiled. "That sounds good to me."

A thoughtful Edward was better than a morose or self-loathing Edward. My intention wasn't to convert him to Christianity, or any other religion for that matter, just to make him feel a little better about himself and what we about to do. If I had succeeded with that in any way, I was happy.


To be continued...

A/N: Thanks for reading. I hope this revised version fits with canon better. Let me know what you think.