Disclaimer: All characters are wholly owned by Stephenie Meyer, and only appear here for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement is intended.
Thus far: Bella and Edward have returned to Forks and she's officially moved in to the Cullen residence. After re-negotiating the treaty with the Pack, Edward is ready to give her immortality. Time for one last night on the town.
To my awesome beta TwilightMomOfTwo, who keeps me away from the Cliffs of Insanity, a thousand thank yous. If you haven't done so yet, read her story "Resurrection". You won't be sorry.
Chapter 5 – Changes
As I picked up my fork and began eating again I felt a certain amount of satisfaction. It felt good that Edward was thinking optimistically, even in a small way. Pessimism came much too easily to him, and now it seemed he was thinking about the future.
"Bella, love, after your newborn period, what would you like to do?" There was a slight twinkle in his eye, a hint of mirth at the corners of his mouth.
"I thought we were going to school," I replied. "You may know everything but I've got a lot of catching up to do."
He dismissed that with a wave of his hand. "Believe me, you'll be fine. I think you're more intelligent than I was at the same age. The rest is just a matter of having a lot of time." He reached over and took my hand again. "Actually, I was thinking about school breaks. Have you ever felt like traveling?"
"Well, I have been to Italy." I was rewarded with a roll of his eyes. "We didn't have much money for traveling," I explained. "Mostly it was family vacations and never outside the country. Other than that, the only traveling I've done has been in books. Why do you ask?"
An excited smile spread across his face. "How would you like to see some of the places from your books?"
"You mean like Prince Edward Island from Anne of Green Gables? Or Verona from Romeo and Juliet?"
"Hmm, Verona is a little too close to Volterra for my comfort at the moment, but you get the idea. I promised you a second honeymoon and this would be one way to do it. I'd love to take you to Paris."
I thought about it for a moment, and the idea appealed to me. Honestly, just about anything that involved Edward appealed to me. The idea of visiting Heathcliff and Cathy's moors – hand in hand with Edward and impervious to the cold and rain – sounded like fun. "That sounds like a great idea." I was gratified by his winning smile. "But then, you know I'd go live in an igloo as long as I was with you."
"I promise, no igloos. Although I've heard the Kirkenes Snow Hotel in Norway is quite spectacular."
"Brrrrr," I faked a shiver. "That will definitely have to wait until later."
Edward laughed, and raised the back of my hand to his lips.
After a while I was finished, and I was glad we had taken the time to go out. Edward and I hadn't gone out to dinner very often when we were dating because of the inequity of our situations. I was still a little uncomfortable with the idea of having that much money, but now that we were married, how he spent it didn't seem to matter so much. In fact, time spent alone with him was far more precious to me, and well worth the cost.
"Are you ready to go?" Edward asked as I put down my fork.
I took another swallow of Coke and said, "Yes, I am." He signaled the waitress for the check.
As the waitress brought the check, she addressed the two of us. "I think I remember you visiting us last year. Did you get married recently?"
Only in a small city like Port Angeles would a waitress be forward enough to inquire into the affairs of complete strangers. I would have told her to mind her own business but Edward had better manners than I.
"Yes," he answered with a smile. "Just about two weeks ago."
"Well, congratulations!" she gushed. "I hope you'll come visit us again soon!"
Catching Edward's eye, I hid a snigger behind my napkin as I pretended to wipe my mouth. I'm sure in my impending condition, that would make for a very interesting visit. Edward just smiled, paid for the bill and thanked her.
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The nerves didn't start until Edward started driving. The drive home seemed to stretch out longer than normal, even though without looking at the speedometer I knew he was going faster than I would approve. The dark trees hurtled by with dizzying speed, and the markings on the pavement blurred into solid lines.
But the anxiety didn't come from Edward's driving. The closer and closer we got to home the more the butterfly population in my stomach increased. My palms started to perspire and I could feel my breathing start to get fast and shallow.
It was so stupid. This is what I had been anticipating for over a year. This is what I'd begged Edward and his family for. Three days and I would be with my soulmate for the rest of eternity. This was nothing compared to eternity.
But it was everything – bigger than graduation, bigger than our wedding. This was the biggest event of my life, because it was the last event of my human life. I would finally be entering their world where before I was only a visitor, and there were no return tickets.
"Bella, love, what are you thinking? You're driving me crazy over here."
"Huh? What?" Edward's voice broke through my thoughts and I looked over to see his worried eyes on my face. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "Just nervous, Edward. It's a big step."
He gave a wry smile. "There's an understatement," he chuckled. "Well, it's understandable. I think you're the only one of us to go into this as part of a conscious, calm decision."
"Calm!" I scoffed, and held up my quivering hands.
"Deliberate, anyway. The rest of us were fairly incapacitated when Carlisle changed us." His expression grew concerned again and he reached over to pull me against his shoulder. "Bella, if it's too much—"
"It's alright, Edward," I insisted. "If I really need it, Jasper can help. You didn't see me at our honeymoon, did you? Before I came outside?"
"No, I didn't," he admitted. "Were you nervous?"
"Are you kidding? I was freaking out so much, I must have shaved my legs and everything else twice trying to put off going out there."
"Really?"
"Weren't you nervous at all?"
He smiled his lopsided smile at me. "Absolutely. That was my first time too. Just because I know all about the clinical side of it didn't mean I was emotionally prepared when it was my turn. Do you know why I walked into the water before you got there?"
I shook my head. "I thought you were trying to warm yourself up for me."
"That was part of it." He ducked his head a little. "I also didn't want you to see my knees trembling!"
I burst out laughing and Edward laughed with me, ruefully. "Sorry, I don't mean to laugh, but I'm glad I wasn't the only one."
"No, you weren't," Edward agreed, still smiling. "And somehow you found the courage to come out to me."
"Of course," I said, thinking out loud. "It was what I'd been asking for all along. So there was no way I was going to chicken out. It feels a lot like that tonight."
Edward nodded his understanding.
It was bittersweet, this ending. Bitter because it marked the close of the life I knew. Sweet because it marked the opening of the life that I wanted. Most people my age were still waiting, in a sense, to begin their life. College came with more responsibilities, but was still a kind of incubator. With this act, I would open the door and walk through to my forever with Edward.
Unbidden, thoughts of my parents rose in my head, threatening to erode my resolve. But I was too close to my goal. I found it easier to put them aside for later. After all the begging and pleading for Edward to change me, I wasn't going to let some last minute nerves side-track me. I sat back and closed my eyes, taking deep breaths to focus myself.
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When we got home, the house was quiet and only a few soft lights were on, giving a cozy feeling to the normally wide open spaces.
"Where is everybody?" I asked.
"They're home," Edward spoke, quietly. "They're giving us a little privacy."
"That was nice of them." I could imagine Alice would be beside herself with impatience for me to be changed. "Are we going up to Carlisle's office or your room?"
"Our room," he corrected me with a gentle smile. The feeling of warmth and welcome wrapped around me like a blanket, and I just had to stop and kiss him, using the crutches to push up and reach his lips.
Edward offered to carry me upstairs but I insisted on going up under my own power. It was about the last thing I would do as a human and I felt like drawing out every final, laborious step. It also gave me something to do to keep the nerves from coming back. Edward was very patient with me, and helped me out of my coat before I hiked up the stairs to our room.
When we finally reached the door, Edward pushed it open but didn't turn on the lights. In the center of the room, our bed lay bathed in the soft, golden glow from dozens of votive candles and white, rose petals strewn around the room filled the air with their perfume. It looked like an altar – an altar to the love Edward held for me. My breath caught in my throat as I turned to him.
"Alice?" I whispered.
"She helped." He smiled in appreciation of my reaction, his eyes dark amber from the reflected candlelight. "But it was my idea."
The crutches clattered to the floor as I reached up and wound my arms around his neck. "Edward—" I breathed. I kissed him, long and gentle and sweet. He picked me up without breaking the kiss and carried me over to the bed. As he set me on top of the bedspread, I managed to kick off my shoes without missing a single one of his luscious, heart-pounding kisses.
He lay down next to me and our arms twined around each other as every line of his body melded to every curve of mine. My heart rate launched into overdrive and I broke the kiss long enough to breathe as he kissed my cheeks and my eyes. Then my lips found his again and I teased his lips with the tip of my tongue. His lips parted and I felt the shy touch of his tongue on my lips, tasted the venom he left there. I shivered and buried the fingers of one hand into his hair, the other around his back pulling me closer to him. A soft moan came from him unexpectedly, igniting an answering flash of heat deep within me. As the desire for him mounted, I felt dismay too, because that usually meant he would pull away soon.
As I expected, his kisses began to slow, his caressing hands stopped their sensuous slide over me. I murmured in protest as he began to pull away, and a low chuckle rippled up from his chest. He dropped his kisses to my throat and down to my collarbone before he sat back a little, and I lay there panting.
"Yes, love, I feel the same way," he said, also breathing quickly. "But I thought you wanted to get started."
"I was already started," I sulked as I got my breath back. "You're right, though. We'll never be able to finish that thought until afterwards."
"Mm-hm," he agreed. "Did you want to change into something more comfortable?"
I smiled and gave him my best smoldering look. "This is hardly the time, Mr. Cullen."
Edward laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I meant would you be more comfortable in sweats or your pajamas?"
"I'm fine like this," I murmured. "Besides, a transformation is a black tie affair, remember?"
"Indeed it is." Edward's rich chuckle rolled out of his chest.
He got up from the bed, took off his suit coat and loosened his tie. Now that I had a chance to look at my surroundings I noticed the addition of equipment that belonged in a hospital. An IV stand and a machine used to dispense medication into the IV system stood nearby, like the ones at the hospital in Phoenix. Edward moved over to a standing tray that had some syringes, tape and other items on it.
While Edward prepared things, I sat up and arranged the cushions so I could recline slightly. Removing the hair clip, I shook out my hair and ran my fingers through to settle it a little, then looked around the room at Edward's belongings. The candles had been placed on each shelf in front of the rows of CDs, some on the couch and some on Edward's desk. One illuminated the shelf that held Edward's pictures and keepsakes. All the breakable items in the room prompted me.
"Edward, newborns are supposed to be strong and out of control, right?" I asked.
His expression was guarded as he answered me. "As Jasper said, it depends on the individual. Some are more wild than others."
"If that's the case, then maybe you might want to put some of your things away. I wouldn't want to break anything that's important to you."
Edward's brow cleared when he realized what I was asking about. "I hadn't thought about that," he admitted. "Most of it can be replaced, but I see your point."
"Speaking of which..." Sitting up, I undid the clasp of my necklace. "Take care of my heart." I gave a little smile as I handed it to him.
"Always," Edward spoke softly, and leaned closer to kiss me. The look on his face made my breath catch in my throat and brought a little moisture to my eyes.
Edward placed the necklace on the tray, then turned back to the bed and picked up my arm. He swabbed something with a sharp odor on my skin, and gradually the area went numb. He gave a fold of skin a little twist. "Can you feel that?" he asked.
"Not so much." In fact, I could barely feel the touch of his fingers in that area, only a vague sensation.
"Good." He then carefully grasped the neckline of my dress and swabbed the side of my neck as well. The swab was cold and I gave a little grimace.
"Sorry, too cold?" he murmured.
"I'm okay," I shrugged.
Edward gave a small chuckle, then took a length of surgical tubing and wrapped it snugly enough to impede the circulation in my forearm. Then he palmed something from the tray. "You may feel a little pinch," he cautioned me.
I looked away, focused on our wedding picture, and took some deep breaths. There was a slight pinch, but not as bad as the anticipation had built it up to be. I felt him quickly fussing with something else and heard the tearing of tape. By the time I looked back, the IV tube was securely attached and taped down, and no needles were in sight. The side of my neck was beginning to feel heavy and sodden as the numbing agent took effect. I couldn't help touching it, and it was strange not being able to feel my fingertips on my skin.
"You're very good," I complimented him.
"Thank you," he smiled as he checked the flow of saline solution.
"Why don't you go into practice with Carlisle? My mom would be thrilled if she knew I married a doctor." I couldn't help teasing him.
Edward glanced at me as he worked, the corners of his mouth twitching with suppressed mirth. "That would be fabulous, Bella." He pitched his voice like an announcer over a public address system. "Paging Dr. Cullen. Paging Dr. Cullen. Your patient is ready in the O.R. Please try not to eat the paying customers. That would make two this week."
I giggled, thankful he was able to distract me so the earlier nerves did not return, then he slid a remote control under my pillow, and came around to the other side so as not to disturb the IV tube attached to my arm. He lay down on the bed and slid next to me.
"I've begun the morphine drip. You may feel a little odd soon. Are you comfortable, love?" he asked.
A little of the nerves returned and I swallowed. "Mm-hmm."
Some of the sad wistfulness returned to his eyes. "No more fears? No more regrets?" he wondered.
"Just one. But I'm afraid you'll think I'm being silly." I felt a flush starting on the back of my neck as I wondered about it.
"Ask me," his smile was gentle.
"Has the change ever made…an ugly vampire?" I hid my face in the pillow.
Edward gave a low laugh. "Not the ones I've seen. I've watched Esme, Rosalie and Emmett change. Would you call them ugly?"
I raised my head and shook it.
"Some change more than others. Now, Rosalie got the best out of that bargain. She was considered to be good-looking to begin with, but after…" he trailed off but I understood. I figured as long as I ended up no worse than I was now, I would be happy.
"Besides," Edward went on as he gently caressed my cheek. "You'll always be the most beautiful girl in my world."
I shivered at his touch. "How about you? Any regrets?"
He pursed his lips and thought for a moment. "Right now, just one. A worry, actually," he admitted.
I raised an eyebrow and waited.
"I really hope you're right about the afterlife." The words came softly, his eyebrows drawn down slightly.
"Ssh." I kissed him. "I'm sure of it. Besides, as long as you're with me, that's all the heaven I need. "
Edward's face filled my eyes and my thoughts and in this moment, everything was clear and I was eager to walk forward so I could meet him on equal terms. Gazing at him seemed to make me light-headed, or that could have been the morphine. I took his face in my hands to focus myself.
"Edward, for once I have no more fears. I feel as if my whole life I've been waiting for you. I didn't really fit in anywhere else; like I was a little off before I met you. Like I was missing something. Now, I feel like I'm whole, like I belong. I love you, Edward, and I want to love you forever."
"Thank you, love," he said with a smile. "I, too, was missing something in my life. I liken my existence to the Arctic winter, when the sun never shines, and the creatures move through their lives in everlasting night. Then you came and gave me sunshine and joy and laughter. You rescued me from my never ending night. I never want to go back to that existence. I want to stay in the light with you. Forever."
Edward's lips crushed mine with sweet insistence, one hand gently cupping my face and the other around my back pulling me closer. His lips moved slowly and lovingly against mine – silk on stone, fire on ice – as he kissed me with as much abandon as he ever allowed himself. I reached a hand around his neck, and kissed him for all I was worth, long, hungry kisses that made me ache for him all over again.
Suddenly he seemed to blur; there was a click and a buzz as the infusion machinery started. He kissed his way down to my throat and I felt him open the front of my dress slightly. Then, with a sigh, he lowered his head and bit the numbed area on my neck gently. I gasped a little at the sudden sensation. A quick rush of emotions washed through me at once – relief that, after all this time, he had at long last given me what I had asked for. Joy that he loved me enough to do this for me, over his own reservations. Excitement for what the future might hold. At last, with his bite, with his venom in me, I truly belonged to him, and would for all eternity.
Edward held his mouth to my neck for a while, breathing very quickly, then with a shudder that shook his whole body, pulled his mouth away.
"Thank you, Edward, I love you," I managed to say, a little tear starting in my eyes.
His kisses worked their way back up my throat until he claimed my lips again.
"I love you, my Bella," he whispered against my lips. "I'll be waiting for you on the other side. Sleep well, love."
Sooner than I thought it would, the edges of my vision began to blur and I felt my eyes start to droop. It seemed like the sound of the ocean was roaring in my ears, but I ignored it, trying to savor the sensation. Trying to speak, my tongue wouldn't respond and I struggled to bring Edward's angel face into focus. Then, like a curtain falling on the final act, my eyes closed and I slipped down into darkness.
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To be continued...
Ahh, the magical bite has arrived. Hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought.
