AN: Thanks for being patient while I did some serious re-tooling. I hope you'll find the results worth the wait.

Major thanks to ContentedTwiCow and sherryola for pre-reading, and Katmom for wielding her awesome powers of Tae Kwan Beta. You ladies make my job easy, and I thank you so much!

Also thanks to everyone who has read and left feedback. I've enjoyed your comments very much and some have helped shape the direction of this story. You guys make this effort worthwhile.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all the characters, I'm just hanging around in her dollhouse. No copyright infringement is intended


Ch. 12 – On The Road

Edward had been driving since we left Forks. I'd not been anywhere on I-5 further than Seattle, and after we crossed into British Columbia and ventured farther away from civilization, each unfamiliar forested valley and mountainside began to blend into the next until the only thing of interest was the freeway and the assorted cars and trucks we passed on our migration north. Edward had the radio playing softly in the background, tuned to an indie station today. While my new truck was much faster than my old truck, he didn't drive as fast as he normally did. Whether it was out of deference to me or because the truck couldn't do that speed, I didn't know. By the number of times he glanced my way, I could tell he was still worried about me. I didn't speak much, and sat absorbed in my thoughts, listening to the music as I watched the walls of green forest slide by us.

Before long, I noticed the itching, burning feeling growing in my throat again. Now that I thought about it, the thirst had never completely gone away over the last few days, only been muted to the point I could ignore it. And too much had happened for me to pay attention. With not much to distract me now, it occupied my mind, front and center. But it was much too soon! Edward and his family only needed to hunt every two weeks. How could my thirst return after only two days?

I was already more sensitive to blood than the others. Did that translate into an abnormally bloodthirsty newborn? The thought made me cringe; excessive bloodlust would only make my road to gaining self-control that much harder. I would have to ignore the seething pain that urged me to leap out of the car and search for something warm-blooded to kill. Gritting my teeth, I concentrated on my breathing and stared out the windshield, trying to focus on the passing countryside.

Alice and Jasper sat in the rear cab, sometimes conversing quietly, sometimes sitting in companionable silence, Alice's head on Jasper's shoulder. I envied their easy, stress-free relationship. It seemed that Edward and I always had some kind of drama, whether from an external source or from something between the two of us.

That thought reminded me of the uneasy feelings I was having. They hadn't gone away, and seemed to center themselves around Edward for some reason. But why? Edward had done nothing to give me concern since he had changed me. In fact, he had been completely supportive and patient while I fumbled my way through my first days. Nothing rational that could be the source of my unease seemed to fit. Maybe if it wasn't something rational, maybe I should look at the irrational. But where to begin?

Were things bad enough that I would want to leave him? I thought about it and felt the familiar lurch in my chest and shied away. No, he still loved me, and despite the shame I felt at my weakness, I still loved him. I could no more leave him than the moon could leave its orbit. Yet loving him used to be all I needed. It was enough that I could bear being on a number of vampire hit lists. Enough to carry me through breaking my best friend's heart, and part of my own. Why on earth would I feel dissatisfied or uncomfortable? It didn't make any sense.

Before I could get any further, my cell phone rang. I pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. Then the pit of my stomach seemed to fall into my shoes, and my head spun for a moment. It was Charlie and he had to be calling me with news of Mike and Jess. I flipped the phone open with numb fingers.

"Hello?" I said quietly.

"Hey, Bella, how's New Hampshire?" Charlie's voice was subdued. I struggled to bring myself back up to speed, to remember where we were supposed to be.

"Um, we're still on the road, Dad. We took a little detour to Yellowstone on our way through Wyoming," I improvised. My voice wavered on the edge of breaking. It was so good to hear him again.

"See any bears?" His voice had a little edge to it, and I could tell it was coming.

"Uh, just a few. But they stayed away from the people."

"That's good. Do you know where you're going to stay yet?"

I wasn't sure how to reply and sat with my mouth open while I thought furiously, not sure how much of the story I would mess up by getting creative. Then Edward started feeding me lines in a stage whisper, too fast and low for humans to hear.

"Not yet, but we'll find something when we get there."

"Just try to get something in a decent neighborhood, okay?"

"It's okay, Dad. Hanover isn't the big, bad city like Seattle."

"Well, there's kooks all over the place, even in Small Town, USA. You should get some pepper spray as soon as you get settled."

I smiled grimly at the thought of what might happen if any human serial killer, rapist or gang-banger crossed my path right now. "Don't worry, Dad, Edward is with me." I threw that one in, and Edward smirked as I said it.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Yeah, I guess. Well, when you get settled down let me know where." He paused, and voiced a sigh. "Bella, you sitting down? I got some bad news."

"What happened? Is Mom okay?"

"She's fine, Bells. Look, it's about your friends Mike and Jessica. They went off for a fishing trip a couple days ago and…well, they got attacked by a bear."

I sat speechless, not knowing how best to sound shocked and surprised, all the while the guilt and shame began to grow again, clamoring at me.

"Bella, you there?" Charlie's voice rose a little with his concern.

"Yeah, Dad, I'm still here. Are they okay?" That didn't feel too out of character, but I felt phony trying to fake it.

Charlie exhaled loudly. "No, Bells. Sorry."

"That's awful," I cried. "How's Mike's mom doing?" The second I asked, I regretted it, as a hard ball of guilt solidified in my stomach.

Charlie sighed, loudly and heavily. "Not good. His dad insists on going with the patrols looking for the bear. Jessica's mom is taking it pretty hard, too. Damn near the whole town is in a state of shock. We're starting to wonder. Last spring we had all those wolf attacks, and now a bear. Maybe food is scarce and they're starting to attack humans because they're desperate. Or maybe the logging operations are pushing the animals out of the hills. I don't know. I'm going to call Fish and Game, and see if they have any ideas."

"Maybe," I mumbled. "Can you …can you tell them how sorry I am?" Mike and Jessica's parents should be able to interpret that as condolences and not guilt.

"Will do, Bells. They'll appreciate that."

"You just make sure to be careful out there, Dad."

"Always am," came his usual reply. "Anyway, I need to get back to work. Just didn't want you to find out on the evening news."

"Thanks, Dad. Take care of yourself." My voice broke on the last words.

"You too, Bells. Bye."

I hung up the phone and let my head fall back, closing my eyes as the guilt surfaced, threatening to bury me. Mike and Jessica's families were devastated. The whole town was affected. If any of the werewolves got shot because I stirred up the hornet's nest, Jacob would never forgive me. That is, if he ever forgave me for becoming a vampire.

I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder as Edward tried to comfort me. Jasper and Alice murmured soft words of encouragement from the back seat. Between all of them, I felt the despair ease off somewhat.

I turned my head to the side and looked at them. "Thanks," I whispered. Jasper nodded slightly and Edward shifted his hand to my knee, driving one-handed.

"God, I hate lying to him," I muttered.

"I'm sorry, love," Edward said. "If it was anybody else I'd say you get used to it after a while. But you're such a bad liar I don't know if you could."

"You did say I was a lousy actress," I agreed.

Edward smiled briefly at the memory and rubbed my knee fondly. "It's one of the things I love about you."

I didn't answer, still thinking about the conversation with Charlie. Only now did I fully realize what Emmett had been doing when we left him at the scene, and my stomach gave a squeamish lurch. Would Carlisle have been called in to do the autopsy? I shook my head thinking of the consequences from my thoughtless actions.

After several more miles, I broke the silence. "This was what you were afraid of, wasn't it?"

Edward turned his head toward me, only allowing for brief glances to steer the car. "What was I afraid of?" he asked.

"Me killing somebody. Especially an innocent. Now I'm more likely to go to hell than you thought you were."

He gave an unhappy sigh, the distress plain on his face. "Despite our previous conversation on the topic, I'm still not wholly convinced we have an afterlife in our future, regardless of whether you kill anyone. But yes, it was one of the possibilities that concerned me."

"Well, as usual, you were right."

"Bella, don't talk about it if it's going to upset you."

"I'm just being honest." I paused for a moment. "Are you upset about it? Tell me the truth."

Edward's brows drew together in a frown. "I'm…not happy about it, no."

Weakly, I tried to make a joke out of it. "Well, if it turns out there is an afterlife, at least we'll be going to the same place."

Edward gave me a momentary glare; this wasn't a joking matter to him. "I didn't want this for you," he growled. "I wanted so much better for you than this half-life." He lifted his hand off my knee and ran it through his hair, mussing it, then sighed loudly. "I told you I'd love you whether you were human or otherwise. Now that you're like me, you're suffering, and I'd do anything to take that away from you. If I thought it would do any good, I'd take you to a priest for confession. At the very least, maybe you might feel better."

"I'm not Catholic."

"I know. The soul is the soul, what does the system of belief matter where the soul is concerned?" He shrugged. "But the Catholics practice confession, so I went to see one."

"You went to a priest?" This surprised me; Edward had never struck me as being religious. The long discussion we had the night of my change had led me to believe he was agnostic at best – unsure of the existence of a specific deity, but believing in good and evil, right and wrong.

"Not for religious reasons, but at the time, I thought what could it hurt?" He smiled grimly. "I was living away from Carlisle, and feeling remorseful about my choice of lifestyle. Hoping to unburden my conscience, I found a Catholic church and went to the confessional after evening mass.

"The priest knew right away something was odd with me. I didn't know the rituals, the 'bless me father for I have sinned' nonsense. When I began telling him of the many criminals that I had killed, he got very agitated – his heart started racing and his breathing grew short. He listened until I finished – I didn't tell him what I was, just what I had done – but all the while he grew more and more agitated. I could easily smell him perspiring from the other side of the screen. When I finished my confession, he gave me a short sermon about how vengeance and justice belonged to the Lord. He directed me to begin the Rosary, and recite it twelve times, but then he said he must consult with his superiors for the appropriate penance for one so...remorseful. He advised me to begin, and he would return shortly. Then he left the confessional."

Edward paused for a moment. "I was a little wary – why would a priest assign a penance that required intimate knowledge of Catholic rituals to an unbeliever? So when he left, I followed him discreetly. He returned to the rectory and began an agitated discussion with his superior. To make sure I wasn't discovered, I ran outside, climbed a tree that grew close to the upstairs window and listened.

"The priest's superior sternly reminded him that all discourse heard under the Seal of the Confessional was strictly confidential, even criminal matters. He could urge me to turn myself in, but that was all. The priest was not happy about that, and asked the monsignor how he would be able to sleep if they allowed the worst mass murderer in Chicago history to go free.

"Their discussion ended abruptly after a shouted reminder that breaking the Seal was a crime against the church, and it seemed to cow the priest into silence. But a short time later, the priest emerged from the rectory dressed in street clothes, and hurried away from the church. It was a safe bet he wasn't returning to give me absolution. I assumed he was going to inform the police, so I left."

We all sat quietly, absorbing his story. Finally, I spoke up. "Sorry it didn't turn out better. But I can see why you've not gone back to a church."

Edward's voice went cold with contempt. "I thought my confession would be held in confidence, but I suppose the sheer number of victims made me a special case. Or maybe it was because I was an unbeliever. At any rate, I guess for some people the laws of man trump the laws of God." He made a disparaging sound. "Bottom line, going to confession didn't make me feel any better. But if you want to talk to someone, I'll be happy to take you."

I wasn't sure if there was any widely accepted way to cleanse your soul of sin. In what little Sunday school Renee had sent me to, talk of sins and forgiveness had all seemed fairly theoretical. The worst sins we were likely to commit as children were fairly petty – taking the Lord's name in vain, coveting something belonging to our neighbor, things like that. Murder wasn't considered one of the possibilities.

"Maybe I could do something like Mother Teresa, and help the poor and the sick," I wondered aloud. Then I made a face. "But I'd probably end up eating the poor and the sick."

Alice spoke up from the back. "At least you'd be showing mercy by putting them out of their misery."

Edward rolled his eyes. "So helpful, Alice," he grumbled.

Alice shrugged. "Sorry. This is the only life I've known, so I don't have any other beliefs to color my thinking. I just know Carlisle's philosophy and it's good enough for me."

I didn't want them to start arguing. Bad enough I was disrupting their home life. "Why don't we drop it?" I suggested. "We don't know about the afterlife for sure. So just make sure we live forever and we won't have to worry about where we go. Okay?"

Edward glanced my way and fell silent. But knowing him, this wasn't the end of our conversation.

= = = C = R = = =

We had been on the road for about half a day, when Edward asked if I needed to go hunting.

"Are you thirsty, love?" His golden eyes were warm, and gentle with his concern.

Not wanting to seem like the ravenous newborn, I carefully schooled my expression and kept my tone as light as I could. "No, I'm okay for now."

"You don't need to fight it, Bella. There's no shame in being thirsty."

I only answered him with a little smile and a shrug.

"We need to get gas anyway. It's as good a time as any to stop."

Edward drove on until we reached a town called Boston Bar on British Columbia Route 1N. As Edward pulled the truck into the station, I tried to shrink down in my seat – there were human drivers at the station also getting gas.

Edward didn't need to read my mind to know what I was thinking. "It'll be all right, Bella. Just hold your breath and stay in the truck."

I nodded, sucked in a breath and clamped down on it. Jasper got out of the truck with Edward, while Alice stayed inside with me. After the door closed, I watched Edward going about the business of refueling. Alice made a noise and stretched out her arms. Without thinking I turned around and asked her, "Are you okay back there?"

That was a mistake. In the act of speaking, I let go of some air and then inhaled. The opening of the door had brought in air with enough human scent to rip my throat into flame, venom filling my mouth. Humans – warm, succulent humans – were just outside the truck within easy reach. Alice saw my eyes widen and nostrils flare at the scent. She reached out with both hands to capture my face and held my eyes with hers.

"Stay calm, Bella," she said. "Don't think about it. Close your eyes and go to your happy place."

My stomach twisted for a second. "I don't think I have a happy place anymore," I whispered. I closed my eyes and tried to empty my thoughts. My head spun from the effort of resisting the residual scent in the air, but I managed to stay seated, even though part of my mind itched to burst out of the truck. Alice's hands were clamped about my face in a grip of iron, and I panicked because this would be a very bad time to lose control – Alice could get hurt. While I was distracted by that thought, my fingers moved of their own accord towards the door handle and...

"Hey!" Alice's voice broke in. "None of that! Come on, work with me here!" she cried. "Edward!"

In an instant, Edward and Jasper were back in the truck and Edward was firing up the engine. He pulled out of the gas station with a screech of tires, then opened the windows. The rush of clean air was an instant relief, and I took in huge gulps of it to clear the human scent from my head. When I finally opened my eyes, Alice let go, and I slumped into my seat again.

"Better?" Edward asked.

I nodded, weakly. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it, love," he assured me. "Now, I'm going to find another gas station. You need to hunt, but we need gas to get you there. Will you be all right?"

Actually the burning in my throat was unbearable and getting worse. I clenched my teeth against the pain, and finally admitted that I needed help. "I'll try. But it's so soon!" I objected. "You guys usually go every two weeks."

"We're not newborns, Bella," Alice remarked with a smirk.

"Think about early childcare," Edward remarked. "Human babies need to be fed every two to three hours when they're newly born. They're developing quickly and their systems aren't ready to go longer periods without food."

I thought about that for a moment. "So, it's not that I'm a raving monster thirsty for blood? The extra sensitivity to blood doesn't make me a super-crazy newborn?"

"The sensitivity is a new wrinkle, but other than that, you're just young. And hungry," Edward chuckled, an amused smile on his face. "You should have seen Emmett after Carlisle changed him."

"This is normal, Bella. Believe me, it's not good to wait so long and let yourself get so thirsty," Jasper said with a knowing smile. "You get to the point where you'll kill anything that moves, and that doesn't help with the self control."

Dread filled me. If I had circulation I would have gone pale. "But I can't…I don't want to take the chance…" I trailed off.

Alice fixed me with a steely glare. "Just stay with us then, and stay calm. No racing ahead where we can't control you and you'll be fine."

I wilted under the pressure of her gaze. "Okay," I said quietly.

"You know what to do this time?" Jasper asked.

I gave a shaky breath. "Yeah, I won't talk and I'll hold my breath."

"Remember, Bella, you don't need the air anymore," Alice reminded me. "You could stay underwater all day if you wanted to."

"Okay."

Edward gave my knee a reassuring squeeze. "We'll find someplace for you to hunt soon."

"Thanks," I said weakly. "Hurry, please."

Edward pulled into another station, and this time I sat still, closed my eyes and held my breath while Edward refueled. Jasper stayed in the truck with us this time for insurance. My mind kept waiting for the shortness of breath and dizziness, but they never came. Once again, another new aspect of my body surprised me. I would need to go swimming sometime to try it out.

Edward finished fueling in about ten minutes. Before we left the gas station, Edward searched the truck's GPS. After he found what looked like a suitable wilderness area, we were back on the road again. While it was a relief to avoid another incident, I still had the original problem – my throat was still on fire. I spoke little, and fought the reflex to breathe – the mere passage of air through my throat seemed to aggravate the burning sensation. Holding out as long as I could, I listened to the radio, sometimes counted passing trees, sometimes watched the occupants of the few cars as we passed them. That was not a good one, as my eyes zoomed in on the flush of blood in their faces, just below the skin.

Thankfully, it was not long before Edward pulled off the highway and began driving into the hills along smaller country roads. Fifteen or twenty minutes later, he pulled into an area where the road basically dead-ended near a trailhead and killed the ignition.

"Where are we?" I asked.

Edward released his seatbelt and turned in his seat so he could see all of us. "We're near one of the state parks in British Columbia. It has a long name. Stein Valley Niaka Pamux Heritage Park. This is the start for one of the trails leading into it."

Alarmed, I looked around the truck, but we were alone. "If it's a trailhead, won't people use it for hiking?" I asked.

"Not so much as in Forks," Alice explained. "This is remote country. Feel the window; it's cold out there. For humans, at least."

Edward reached out and put his hand on mine. His eyes were a light-gold, and he gazed at me with intense sincerity. "Trust me, Bella. Stay close to me. I won't fail you again."

Suddenly in that moment it became clear what had been bothering me.

Before I was changed, I dreaded the idea of becoming a heartless killer of humans. The haunted eyes of the doomed old woman being herded to her death in Volterra had not dimmed in my memory, and had been one of the few fears that gave pause to my desire to become immortal. But in my eagerness to stay with Edward for all time, I pushed that consideration aside and assumed that Edward would help keep me safe. I expected that he would be able to keep me from making any mistakes, and he had failed me.

I had never been disappointed in Edward before now, never even thought of him as lacking in any way. When he kept me from visiting Jacob, I had disapproved of his behavior. But while I didn't like it, I understood – he had done it out of concern for my safety. Even after Edward had left me and returned, I held no ill feelings. His desertion had also been driven by his love for me.

This was the first time I could remember that Edward had tried and failed at anything he had attempted. Now the horrific demon of nightmare and legend stared back at me from my reflection in the mirror, and there was no going back. Edward's infallibility had always been one of the traits I depended on, and the feeling that I could always rely on him was gone now, leaving me disappointed and unsure.

"Bella? Are you all right?"

Edward's question made me aware of the fact that I had been sitting and staring, wide-eyed and unseeing, while the wild thoughts ran through me. I gave my head a little shake.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied.

My head was full of this new worry, but the burning in my throat forced me to address the more immediate problem. "All right, I'll stay close. No racing this time," I promised.

As we got out of the truck, I was still apprehensive – still unsure if Edward would be able to keep me from harming anybody else.

"Do you hear anybody?" I asked nervously.

He shook his head and waved for us to follow him. Alice was right, even though it was still fall, the air was fairly cold. Not cold enough for snow, but humans would need to put on an extra layer. I could feel it in the air, yet I didn't feel cold. We would surely look out of place, dressed as we were in simple pants, shirts and sweaters.

Edward set off along the trail at an easy pace for a vampire. The trail followed the contour of the valley in an upward grade. When the trail opened out on a ridge, we paused to take in the vista – a broad valley formed by glacial action. I was glad to see there were no signs of human habitation as far as I could see. My senses picked up signs of small wildlife, but nothing worthwhile.

Alice paused for a moment, turning this way and that, then she pointed toward a low range of hills that rose from the bottom of the glacial valley. "That way."

When we crested the shoulder of the low hills, we caught sight of a small herd of caribou grazing in a wide meadow. Edward paused to regroup, then motioned us on. We swooped down the hillside toward the herd, the late season wildflowers blurring as we passed them. As we drew closer I caught the scent of the caribou. While only mildly appetizing, I now realized how thirsty I really was. Like a switch went off in my head, suddenly I was a hunter – lips drawn back from my teeth, following the scent like a shark homing in on a blood trail. My surroundings faded into the background, and the scent led me until I was close enough. The animals had good reflexes, and started to bolt when we drew near, but it was too late.

My body leaped of its own accord and I flew toward a large buck, the velvet hanging in tatters from its antlers – it was rutting season. I tackled it around the neck and while it felt the impact of my 110 pounds, it staggered but didn't fall. It was much bigger than the deer Edward had killed for me on my first hunt. The buck took off running, with me clinging to its neck.

I heard a startled shout from behind me. Some instinct prompted me to swing a leg over the animal's back and secure my hold. Then I reached up, grabbed the antlers and pulled back and twisted. The neck snapped with a dull crack and the caribou tumbled to the ground, throwing me.

I rolled to a stop a few yards away, jumped to my feet but didn't bother to dust myself off. Literally pouncing on the caribou, I picked it up and sank my teeth in and didn't stop or look up until the carcass was drained. With a sigh of relief, I dropped it and sat back on the cold ground. My hunting senses had registered three other predators in the area, and I lifted my head to scan for danger. But as I slowly calmed, they came into focus.

Edward was closest to me, his brow creased with concern. Alice and Jasper were close behind. I noticed with a pang that they were still keeping their distance, but that was understandable. They also hadn't brought down any animals of their own; this hunt had only been for me.

"Do you feel better?" Edward asked, cautiously.

"Much better, thanks." It was funny how, when trying your hardest to sound normal, you never felt you managed it. I remembered Edward's comment about not wrestling with his food, and tried an offhand comment to put them at their ease. "Do you think I'll get better at this?" I asked, indicating my tousled appearance.

"It's only your second hunt, love," he answered with an indulgent laugh. "You did fine. You'll get better with practice."

"I hope so." I felt better when they relaxed and moved towards me.

"Do you need another one?" he asked solicitously.

"No, I don't think I can fit anymore," I answered. "But I felt this full the last time. Does that mean in two days I'll need to hunt again?"

"You are a newborn," Jasper said, an amused smile on his face. "We hunted two days ago, so we should be good for about two weeks."

"Agh, this is inconvenient," I muttered. "Okay, I'm done. If you guys aren't eating…er drinking, then we can get going again."

Edward nodded, then both his face and Alice's went blank as they scanned the area. After a moment he waved us to move on and led us back to the truck. I couldn't help thinking of the events that followed my first hunt, and kept a nervous eye out for anything remotely human looking. When we finally reached the truck without incident, I breathed a private sigh of relief.

Edward retraced our route back to the highway, and we resumed our journey north. Back on the main road, my thirst under control again, my mind was free to wander back to thoughts of Edward.

The bond between us was still there, of that I was certain. I was acutely aware of his hand on my knee, his thumb brushing tiny circles on my kneecap. But I was also confused. I was absolutely horrified over what I had done to Mike and Jessica, and fair or not, a little of that spilled over onto Edward. This was the first time my feelings for him had varied at all since the time I decided it didn't matter what kind of monster he might be. And I had easily injured him without even thinking of it. I was too strong and couldn't control myself. Now I understood why I shied away from touching him.

I was not a touchy-feely kind of girl before I met him. With no boyfriends before him, I had nothing to compare. All of how I behaved around him came from the emotions I felt for him, and with my emotions not right, it made sense that I was behaving differently.

While now I understood, understanding did not bring relief. Edward and I were married and we were both immortal. How would he be able to stand the decades living with a person who didn't want to touch him? Although the newborn traits of extra strength and lack of control were supposed to fade, they felt too immediate for me to have any confidence that they would go away. Somehow, I had to make this work.

He must have felt my eyes on him because he asked what I was thinking about. I didn't know how I could talk with him about this subject without inciting some kind of drama, and here was not the place for it. I turned my head and looked quickly at Alice; if she had detected any change in my future, she didn't show any sign of it. I ad-libbed and asked Edward what we would be doing in Denali. He glanced over at me and shrugged.

"It's a lot like a human family gathering," he explained. "We talk and catch up. Go on hunting trips. Sometimes we help out on the ranch. Things like that. It may be a little different this time, because we'll be there for an extended stay. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering how we'd be passing the time. It kinda slipped my mind, but when was school supposed to start?"

"Classes at Dartmouth start September 5th." Edward looked closely at me for a second, with one eyebrow raised. "I had originally thought we might put off attending for a year. But if you feel up to starting we may be able to register for some distance learning classes. Don't feel pressured to start though. It's not as if you'll be falling behind."

I thought about it, then nodded. "I think I'd like to do that. It'll be something to keep my mind busy."

Edward's crooked smile dawned on his lips, the first I'd seen it in some time. "Good," he said. "We'll look into it when we get there."

I was cheered a little that he was content. The way I felt at this moment I couldn't be sure how he might feel in the future. I sat watching him, the statue of David in profile, one hand confidently on the wheel, the other resting on my knee. When he turned his eyes on me, I answered with a hesitant quirk of my lips, but quickly looked out the window. I wasn't used to feeling any kind of confusion about him. As devoted as he was to me, he deserved someone whose heart held no doubts. I needed to figure this out, and soon.

= = = C = R = = =


To be continued...

Thanks for sticking with me so far. Please leave a review if so inclined...