A/N: Sorry for the delay, I've found I've been taking longer as I really want to get it right. I hope you'll find the results worth the wait.
Many thanks to sherryola for pre-reading, and to ContentedTwiCow for guidance. If you haven't read "Fear and Loathing by ContentedTwiCow, check it out!
A tip of the hat to Katmom for making sense of my mess. You ladies make my job easy, and I thank you so much!
Thanks so much to everyone who has read and left feedback, favorited and set alerts. I enjoy your comments very much and you guys make this effort all worthwhile.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all the characters, I'm just bumming around her ranch. No copyright infringement is intended
Ch 13 – Denali
We arrived in Denali two days after leaving Forks, reaching the end of a paved road that meandered into the hills. Before that, we passed through the small town of Healy, which was the closest population center near the Denali sisters' home. This hamlet was about one-hundred miles south of Fairbanks, and two-hundred fifty miles north of Anchorage. As the closest town to Denali National Park, it had developed into the tourist jumping off point. The main industry being tourism, there was an unusual number of restaurants, lodging and souvenir shops for a small town in what would otherwise be the middle of nowhere. I was happy it was a small, remote village. At just over 900 residents, there was less chance I might run into stray humans.
The track that continued into the hills was unpaved gravel that would not be plowed in the winter. It was a good thing my truck had 4-wheel drive. The bumpy ride lasted less than an hour, crossing two streams and winding through thickets of spruce trees that eventually thinned out to ferns and grasses as we gained elevation.
Finally, the road led into a sheltered valley. Nestled into one side was an impressive, split-level, ranch-style house that didn't quite fit in to the wild, remote surroundings. A nice, covered porch fronted the home, and I wondered briefly about that, since there was less good weather up here than in Washington to enjoy sitting on the front porch. Then I smirked at my all too-human thought; the weather was never too bad for the owners of this house. A number of technological advances were also in evidence – the roof was covered with solar panels, and a half dozen wind turbines on the top of the hill behind the house spun rapidly in the prevailing winds.
Edward brought the truck to a stop on the graveled drive and shut the engine. "Here we are," he announced.
We opened the doors and stepped out just as the front door opened. I recognized the first woman out the door as Kate, who had come to our wedding. She had straight, pale-blonde hair that reached past her shoulders. The golden eyes in her slightly oval face were calm, but she had a friendly smile on her lips. Tanya, her wavy, strawberry blonde tresses hanging down to her waist, was next. She had a more heart-shaped face, and full lips that stretched in a smile of greeting. Both were dressed indifferently to the weather – Kate wore a light-grey, cotton shirt and jeans, while Tanya was decked out in a floral-print sundress and sandals.
"Welcome, Edward! Alice, it's good to see you! Jasper, you've been away too long!" The sisters greeted each of us with a kiss on each cheek, and I remembered that they were originally from the area that would become Slovakia.
Tanya approached me with a smile. "Bella, we were hoping you would come for a visit, but didn't expect you and Edward so soon."
My face fell; we were retreating here because of my missteps. I looked at my feet and started to stammer the explanation for my exile, when Kate stopped me.
"No matter, we're just glad you're here. Come inside and bring your things. We have rooms ready for you."
Thankful to her for diverting attention away from me, I returned to the truck and opened the tailgate and the bed cover. I handed the others their bags, and grabbed my own suitcase.
As Edward walked towards the house, Tanya sidled up to him, linked an arm through his and whispered, "So, Edward, have you been 'initiated' yet?"
Edward's glanced quickly back at me, and his tone was indignant. "Tanya–"
"If not, I'd be glad to lend a hand."
Tanya's giggle was so lascivious; I was stunned by her sheer audacity. Heat suddenly flared in my head, and my focus narrowed on the blonde trollop that dared to lay hands on my mate. A growl sounded and I began to move, but sudden hands held me back before I could reach her. As I raised my hands to pull myself free, the angel's voice sounded in my head, urging me to calm, promising me all was well. The lure was unavoidable. I closed my eyes and focused on that voice, letting it settle me back down.
When I opened my eyes, Edward was standing before me with his hands on my shoulders, speaking urgently but quietly. Alice and Jasper held my arms, while Kate and Tanya stood a short distance away.
"Are you back with us, love?" Edward's worried voice brought me another wave of embarrassment – I'd almost lost it again.
"Yeah, I'm better. Sorry about that." I sagged against Alice but didn't make any move to free myself. Alice put an arm around my waist and gave a little squeeze.
"It's all right." Edward half-turned and spoke seriously. "Not a good idea to antagonize Bella, Tanya. Don't you remember about newborns?"
"Oh, right." Tanya held up her hands in apology, but I still detected a hint of a smirk. "Don't worry, Bella, I won't poach. I've just been tormenting Edward for so long, it's hard to stop."
My breath came out in a hiss, and I realized I had dropped my suitcase. Nodding my head, I acknowledged her apology; it wouldn't do to antagonize our hosts. "Sure. No problem." My voice was still a little shaky.
Kate rolled her eyes, took hold of Tanya's arm and pulled her towards the house. "Sorry, Bella, she'll behave herself. Come in, come in."
The incident past, we all picked up our bags and followed.
The front door opened into a foyer with racks for winter garments and storage for boots, like a mud room. A second, inner door opened into a grand living room. Partly hidden by a half wall toward the back was the kitchen and the dining room area. Hallways on either side led to the wings of the house where the bedrooms were. A good number of windows allowed cheery lighting into the house. Compared to the wall of glass in our house in Forks, it wasn't quite as spectacular, but the floor plan was still very open, airy, and a welcoming place to be.
Kate and Tanya led us up a short flight of steps, and brought us to a room in the left wing that they pronounced as Jasper and Alice's.
"She's been here before," Kate laughed. "It's the only one with a closet big enough for her."
"I only brought one bag," Alice demurred as she hefted her huge suitcase.
Down the hall from Jasper and Alice, Kate indicated the next room was ours. It was decorated in a tasteful, traditional style, but without excessive flourishes or florals. There was a colonial era dresser, desk and chair. The queen-sized four poster bed looked to be built of solid mahogany. As I set my suitcase on the floor in front of the closet, Tanya snickered.
"And we made sure the bed was strong enough for the newlyweds," she said, with a wicked grin on her face.
What was it about vampires and sex? Or maybe it was just Tanya. I was so embarrassed, I felt sure they would see some kind of color rising in my face. Kneeling to open my suitcase, I let my hair fall forward, hiding them from my view.
"Tanya!" Kate chided her sister. "Come, let's bring Bella to meet the others."
We found Carmen and Eleazar in a room that had been converted into a studio in the opposite wing of the house. Judging from the number and quality of canvases on the walls, Eleazar was an accomplished painter. While there were many paintings of Carmen in various poses, there were also a number of landscapes and wildlife art. I was struck by the realism of them all; any of them were worthy of hanging in a museum or gallery. That was one of the benefits of a long life – the skills that one could develop over the years.
Eleazar was currently painting another portrait of Carmen, who was sitting for him with a guitar on her knee. The sounds that rose from her fingers were gentle, but complex for guitar music. Her flashing fingers made it sound as if two guitarists were playing. Carmen was wearing a gown of orange chiffon that left her shoulders bare. Her thick, dark-brown hair tumbled across her pale shoulders, a striking contrast to her skin.
Eleazar smiled as he finished a few more strokes, and looked up in greeting at Edward. Eleazar had a very aristocratic look to him, with a broad forehead, strong features and dark-brown hair that was drawn into a shoulder-length ponytail. He looked at me and the smile froze on his face.
Edward's gaze switched from Eleazar, to me, and back again. "I never thought of it that way," he said out loud.
"What?" I asked, noticing that I was suddenly the focus of their attention.
"Sorry, love," Edward said. "Eleazar was just surprised by your gift. He calls it a shield."
"Yes, forgive my rudeness, my dear. Welcome to Denali." He stood, wiped his hands on his apron, and came forward to kiss me on both cheeks. Carmen set aside her instrument and greeted us as well. I was briefly amazed by the depths of Carmen's beauty. She had the classic Spanish features, with dark, high brows, well-formed cheek bones and wide, full lips. The usually olive skin had been lightened by the vampire's pallor, although she wasn't quite as pale as Edward or I.
"It's extraordinary," Eleazar marveled. "I've never met a shield as strong as you before. I have to strain to sense you, and even then it's like you're not there."
Edward grinned. "Wait, it gets better." He reached out and took me by the hand.
Eleazar again froze, his eyes widening. "Madre de Dios! You just disappeared as well!"
Edward's grin widened. "Eleazar give me your hand for a moment. Bella's gift goes even further." Eleazar held out his hand, and Edward joined it with mine, then let go. "I can't hear you now. Can you sense me?"
Speechless, Eleazar shook his head slowly, looking from Edward and back to me.
Edward nodded. "We accidentally discovered that Bella could shield more than herself, and even interfere with others' gifts. It seems to be limited to touch but we've not explored it thoroughly."
"But it's bad, too." I grimaced at the unpleasant memories. "I can hurt you because you can't hear me coming."
Eleazar blinked and recovered himself. "Indeed, that is quite a talent. What Aro wouldn't give…" he muttered.
Edward gave him a rather intense look, then cleared his throat. "Well, we won't disturb your work here. Come find us when you're done."
Carmen returned to the chair and assumed her former pose, while Eleazar picked up his palette again. The strumming of the guitar filled the studio again. I looked around the room at the many stunning paintings as we left the studio.
"Is everybody artistic?" I asked Edward, as the sisters led us down the hallway.
"One has to do something to fill the hours." Edward smiled in a self-effacing way. "But not everybody, only those who are so inclined. Rosalie didn't start out as a master mechanic, you know."
The sisters led us out one of the side doors and walked across the yard toward a number of outbuildings. They explained to me that it was not a true working ranch, because it never would have worked – animals tend to get hysterical around vampires, so raising livestock was a bad idea. But their lands were still viable tundra, and held the remnants of the short summer growing season, fighting furiously to survive before the harsh winter descended.
Instead of animal husbandry, the sisters made clothing, something they had done since they were human. Tourists coming to Alaska were always interested in "native" clothing. And since they hunted regularly, they had a steady supply of animal hides to work with. Over the years they had developed fairly intricate designs working with animal pelts, making coats, boots, hats and mittens. There was also a market for jerky, which they produced from caribou meat. I felt better that they were putting more of the animals they killed to good use. They didn't need to do it for the money anymore; they were fairly secure ever since Carlisle had helped set up their finances. But it was a familiar activity and the extra income was always nice.
I became aware of a steady, sawing sound coming from one of the outbuildings.
"This way. That sounds like Irina," observed Kate.
She walked up to one of the buildings that was built like a barn, and opened the wide door to let us in. There were no stalls for animals, but the smell of animal fur, dried and otherwise, filled the air. In their place were racks with pelts stretched on them to dry. Other racks were hung with strips of meat drying into jerky.
Irina was blonde like the other sisters and quite beautiful. She had broader facial features that would be commonly associated with people of Slovakian descent. Not as slender in build as her sisters, Irina was drawing a hide at vampire speed back and forth across a curved form, raising a small cloud of particles as she worked. The rapid rubbing sound on the stone work table sounded like a saw as we approached.
"Irina, the family is here," Kate called over the racket.
After a brief glance, Irina set down the hide and wiped her hands on the apron she was wearing. Irina approached us more formally than her sisters had. She took Edward, Alice and Jasper's hands in stiff handshakes.
"And this is Bella, Edward's wife." Tanya held out a hand to me as she introduced us.
Irina shook my hand, but her black eyes seemed to glitter in anger as she bowed curtly at me.
"We're sorry we missed you at the wedding." I hoped I was misreading the signals she was sending.
"Yes, I was very busy." Irina's voice was flat and unfriendly as she quickly released my hand and straightened. She stood a little over half a head taller than me and glowered down at me.
"Why don't you take a break?" Tanya asked.
"I have a lot to do," was the terse reply as she moved back over to her work and picked up the hide again.
Kate looked apologetically at us and pointed with her thumb toward the door. "We'll leave you to your work."
Once outside, Kate closed the workshop door. The sawing sound began again, perhaps a little louder and faster than before.
"Maybe we shouldn't have come?" Edward asked with a worried look in his eye.
"No, no, I won't hear of it," Kate reassured us. "After we deserted you last spring, there was no way we couldn't be here for you now."
"Is something bothering her?" I asked.
"She's been this way ever since she heard…you all were coming," Tanya shrugged in apology.
"She's still a little upset with Carlisle, for not agreeing to destroy the wolves. But we told her she would have to deal with it," Kate said. "We'll just have to work around her."
"That could be awkward," I muttered. It would be like Rosalie all over again.
"Don't worry about it," Tanya said brightly. "It's a big place. Lots of space to roam and hide. Come see."
Tanya and Kate led us up to the top of the hill behind the house. Standing below the wind turbines, it was the highest point in the area. The vista was amazing. Scrub growth and tundra covered rolling hills as far as the eye could see. Even vampire eyes. Far off in the distance, the hills grew and built into the majestic mountains of Denali which rose up to kiss the sky.
"It doesn't all belong to us, but nobody's built fences so it's almost as good," Kate explained.
"Not that fences would matter," giggled Tanya.
Edward smiled and gave my hand a squeeze. He had seen it before and was happy to share it with me. "Beautiful, isn't it?" he asked.
I drew in a long breath of chilly Artic air. There was something serene about the landscape that stretched out before me. These mountains had stood for longer than humans or vampires had walked the earth, and would still be here long after we were gone.
"Yes, it's breathtaking," I agreed quietly.
"We could climb it if you like," Edward suggested.
"Really? Isn't that kinda dangerous?"
"Maybe for humans!" Tanya laughed, and Kate joined her.
I looked speculatively at the distant crags. "Maybe later."
"That's true. We were going to sign up for some classes," Edward mentioned. "Do you mind if we go hook up the computer?"
"Sure," Kate answered. "Let's go back inside."
= = CR = = CR = = CR = =
Back in our room, Edward pulled out his laptop and turned it on. While he waited for it, he asked me what classes I was thinking of taking. We were both registered as an undeclared major, so that left a wide range of possibilities.
"I'm still kinda undecided. Are there some basic classes that everybody has to take? Maybe I could get them out of the way while I'm deciding."
"General education classes," Edward declared. "Universities fill their curriculum with them to produce a better-rounded student. Personally, I think they just offer them so they can require you to take more units and pad their bottom line."
When the computer finished its start up sequence, Edward pulled up the school website and logged in with his student ID.
"Here we are," he said. "Freshman distance learning classes. The basics – English, history, math Oh, it looks like you need three terms of language to graduate from Dartmouth."
I considered it. "I suppose I should keep up with the Spanish. Better to be good in one language, rather than be hopeless in several."
"For now," Edward smiled. "You know you'll have a lot of time to work on it."
"Oh, right," I said, feeling a little inadequate. "Um, how many languages can you speak?"
"English, Spanish, French, Italian, Portuguese, some German and a little Mandarin Chinese," Edward rattled off.
I rolled my eyes. "I should have known. Did you want to take classes together?"
Edward looked at me, his eyes swimming with warmth. "I love doing things with you."
I dropped my gaze, not able to meet his eyes at the moment. "Okay, let's sign up then."
After Edward finished, I signed in and prepared to register for the same classes. We would have the class materials sent to the Denali sisters' post office box. Edward sat next to me, brushed my hair back and leaned close to nuzzle my ear and kiss the back of my neck.
I shied away a little. "Stop, Edward, you're distracting me," I protested.
"That's the idea," he said with a laugh.
"C'mon, I've got things to do, and I probably have a ton of e-mail from my mom."
Edward laughed again and contented himself with playing with my hair and caressing my back.
I signed up for English literature, world history and – for the heck of it – general psychology. If nothing else, I might gain some insight into our relationship. Spanish wasn't offered online, so it would have to wait until I could attend in person. I guess it would be difficult for the teacher to correct your pronunciation in an e-mail.
When I finished registering, I logged in to read my e-mail. Sure enough, there were a number of messages from Renee. I noticed with a slight pang that they weren't quite as needy as when I first moved to Forks. It seemed that Mom really meant what she said about accepting me growing up and moving on. She was curious about how school was and what the town of Hanover was like. I did my best to weave a tale of settling into a nice little apartment not too far from school, and needing to buy house wares to stock it. I faked surprise that we hadn't received any pots or pans as wedding gifts. And just to keep in practice, I reminded her to pay her property taxes.
As I hit send, I was thankful for the anonymity of e-mail and the internet. I never would have been able to lie to her like this if we were face-to-face.
Suddenly, our sharp hearing detected the sound of plastic beads rattling in a cup, then clattering onto a surface. It sounded like it was coming from the living room. Edward and I looked at each other, then got up to investigate.
= = CR = = CR = = CR = =
Tanya, Kate, Alice and Jasper were gathered around the coffee table in the living room, playing something. Carmen and Eleazar reclined on one of the couches watching the game. Irina was nowhere in sight.
The rattling was the sound of dice being shaken in a tumbler. The four around the table were playing kismet, a dice game that used six dice, something like Yahtzee, but with three red and three green dice. Games of total chance were the only kind that we could play with Alice, because there were no decisions to change the outcome. Edward was the only one who could play strategy games with her.
Tanya looked up as we entered the room. "So, how was the honeymoon?" she asked with a bawdy smile.
"Um, good," I looked down as memories of crutches and a hip brace rose in my head.
"Too short," Edward came to my rescue as we sat on a couch overlooking the game. "We were thinking of a second honeymoon when we have the time."
Eleazar spoke from the corner sofa where he and Carmen reclined. "Bella, when we came down for the wedding, I admit I wasn't paying attention to your gift. Now it's so strong it almost screams at me. And you say it worked when you were human?"
I nodded. "Edward has never been able to hear me." For that I was still thankful.
"The only reason we found out it could be extended was because Edward couldn't hear anybody Bella was touching," Jasper added.
"Even before Bella was changed, we realized that her ability worked against anybody whose talent was mental in nature," Alice said. "I could see her and Jasper could calm her down. But Jane and Aro could do nothing."
"But once she was changed it strengthened," Jasper continued. "Now she interferes with everybody in some way. I can sense what Bella's feeling, but I can't affect her mood as I once could. Alice can still see her future, but not if they're touching."
"Hmm." Kate's eyes narrowed briefly. "May I try something? Edward, hold Bella's hand for a moment." Edward took me by the hand. Kate reached out and touched Edward's shoulder with an outstretched finger.
"Did you feel that?" she asked.
"Not a thing." Edward shrugged.
Kate held her hand to me. "Bella, switch with me?" I let go of Edward's hand and took Kate's.
"All right, how about now?" she asked as she touched Edward again.
"Nothing."
Kate dropped my hand and reached for Edward's shoulder yet again. "And now?"
"Kate, I already – OWW!" Edward flinched at Kate's touch.
I jumped to my feet in alarm, fists clenched. "What did you do?" I cried out.
"Easy there, calm down, love." Edward spoke in a soothing voice and rubbed his shoulder ruefully. "It's all right, Bella, Kate has a talent, too. She has an electro-shock touch, which I've felt before!" Edward glared at Kate.
"I know," she said impishly. "But it's fun to make you jump. Anyway, I was just wondering if what I do is mental, not physical. I guess it is."
"We could have used a voltmeter to see if you actually generate electricity, and it wouldn't have been quite so painful," Edward grumbled.
"And can we please stop antagonizing Bella?" Jasper asked in his quiet voice, shaking his head.
I realized I was still standing and quickly sat, embarrassed that they were talking about me again.
"I must say, Jasper, I wish I had your talent when I was dealing with newborns in Volterra," Eleazar commented. "It would have made things much easier."
"I hadn't heard about what you did for them," Alice said.
Eleazar shrugged. "It wasn't anything of moment. It was my duty to discover vampires with unique talents. When I identified a talent for Aro, it sometimes fell to me to help them nurture their gift."
"How did you deal with newborns?" I asked.
"I couldn't calm them down like Jasper can, or tell if they were getting angry. But you still must be able to subdue them if they are out of control. And since they were valuable to Aro, we couldn't hurt them." Eleazar paused and spread his arms. "And as you can see, I'm not very large. That made for a very interesting occupation."
Jasper raised an eyebrow, his interest piqued. "You didn't mention this during our previous visits. You have your own technique?"
A small smile touched Eleazar's lips. "You could say that," he admitted.
Jasper gave an answering smile. "I admit to a certain professional curiosity. Would you mind giving a little demonstration?"
"I would be delighted."
I noticed Carmen rolling her eyes and sighing, but she didn't comment.
All of us, except Carmen and Tanya, filed into the front yard. Eleazar stepped out in front of us all and beckoned Jasper forward. "Jasper would you assist me?" he asked quietly.
Jasper shook out his arms. "What would you like me to do?"
"Well, you are a newborn. What would you do?"
Jasper shrugged. "Charge and tackle."
Eleazar gave a slight nod. "Proceed." He placed one foot slightly forward of the other, and waited.
Jasper blurred with the speed of his charge. He looked about to knock Eleazar off his feet and suddenly Jasper was flying. He tucked and twisted in midair, landing on his feet and skidding to a stop. I looked back at Eleazar, who had stepped back with one foot and turned a little to the side with one hand up near his shoulder, but that was all.
Jasper straightened and beamed. "Does it work with more subtle movements?"
"Certainly. But the more power the opponent uses, the better the results."
"May I?"
"Please."
This time Jasper did not charge, but approached and began striking with hands and feet, sometimes trying to grapple with Eleazar or enclose him in an arm hold. Repeatedly he was shunted aside, set off balance or sent tumbling. Eleazar's face was very composed, only slight shifts in balance, turns of the waist or quick movements of his arms evidence of his defense.
One final twist sent Jasper flying past again. He sat up cross-legged and smiled excitedly at Eleazar. "Brilliant!" he exclaimed. "What art is this?"
Eleazar straightened himself. "It doesn't have a name. I derived it from a number of human martial arts, but the central principal is the sensing of force and redirecting or using it to your own end."
"I'm impressed that you weren't thinking of what you were doing," Edward said. "It was pure reaction."
"That's one of its strengths." Eleazar nodded. "Once you have the first contact, you could even proceed with your eyes closed. You do not need to see or hear what is coming."
"As an old military man, all forms of self-defense interest me," said Jasper. "Would you mind teaching me? I'd be very honored if you would. Since I can no longer calm Bella down, I may have to do things the old-fashioned way. Right now only Edward's voice seems to be able to reach her during an episode."
"Delighted to do so," said Eleazar. "I still have a canvas of my Carmen to work on, but this would be a nice diversion."
Alice raised her eyes to the sky. "Why me? Why me?" she lamented.
= = CR = = CR = = CR = =
Alice returned to the house with Kate. Edward and I sat on patio chairs under the porch and watched Eleazar and Jasper working for a while. From the sound of it, he was explaining the distribution of weight, the stance, and the principle of being grounded. I had never taken martial arts before, so it was all new to me. When Jasper was instructing the family on how to deal with the newborns, their movements were too fast for me to really understand what they were doing.
After a while, the sun began to sink lower in the sky. Edward touched my shoulder to get my attention.
"Bella? Would you like to watch the sunset with me?" His voice was honey smooth as he smiled down at me.
"Sure," I said, keeping my answer short because the butterflies suddenly started to stampede in my stomach.
Edward led me to the top of the hill above the house as the sun sank lower. We sat on the leeward side of the hill, side-by-side, watching the sun go down, the wind turbines spinning silently above us. As the sun set behind the mountains in the west it painted the broad valley and rising mountains in shades of gold and set the snow-capped Denali mountains on fire. Gradually the snow fields all changed into molten gold that slowly dimmed into coppers, bronzes and then the fire went out and they were darkened mountain peaks again. As evening fell, the sounds of the nocturnal animals began to fill the air.
"That was beautiful," I smiled at Edward.
"Wait, there's more," he said.
The evening sky deepened to midnight blue, then violet. Faintly at first, then with building strength, gossamer streamers of greens, pinks and blues started shimmering and twisting across the sky – the aurora borealis. I remembered hearing about it in science class, but the dry description of cosmic rays interacting with the atmosphere did no justice to the beauty and artistry of nature.
I sat with my mouth open, and had no idea when I had opened it. A lump began to form in my throat, it was so beautiful. And I was so touched that Edward had wanted to be the first to share it with me. He was such a wonderful man.
And that was it, in a nutshell. In everything, he put me first – willing to do anything for me, seeing to my comfort, working towards my happiness. When I was human, despite all my faults and short-comings, he had never once stopped loving me. Yet, as much as he loved me, he was willing to sacrifice that love to keep me safe. On top of that, he had forgiven me for every single slight and indiscretion I had committed because of Jacob. That, in itself, was far greater than anything I had ever done for him.
What little part I thought he may have played in my fall, was insignificant in comparison. How could I not forgive him? If I could excuse Jacob for wishing me dead, I could forgive Edward, who had done nothing intentionally to earn my discontent. And I never could stay angry at him for long, anyway.
In that moment, I felt my feelings gel and the sweet warmth that welled up where my silent heart rested took my breath away. I was his, and he was mine; there were no more questions about it.
At the same time, I couldn't help feeling a little nervous. There was no way a sensitive man like Edward could not be moved by the beauty of the sunset and the night sky, and not want to share the mood with me. He was sure to be affectionate, and that would mean touching, and then some. I might want to touch him now, but I wasn't sure if I could do so safely.
As we sat watching nature's fireworks, Edward played with my hair, stroked my arms or back and caressed my hands with his fingers.
"It's all so beautiful," I murmured. "Thank you, Edward."
Edward laughed. "It's nothing I did, except to bring you up here. Nature did all the work. But you know," and he lowered his voice and looked deeply into my eyes. "All of this beauty pales when you're here with me. Your hair…" He paused to run his fingers through my hair and let it cascade from his fingers. "Your hair shimmers more iridescent than the aurora. And your eyes…your eyes shine brighter than the stars to me. I could lose myself in them forever…" He leaned in and kissed me, hungry after all the time apart, sliding softly but insistently over mine.
I answered his kisses, but found myself holding back, only able to give half of my attention to kissing him. The rest of me was distracted by trying to keep control of my arms and my strength, unwilling to hold him as I once would, afraid I might crush him. Where once I would just melt into him, I found myself a bystander in my own body, leaning on my stiff arms while I kissed him.
The time he kissed me after I woke from the fire of transformation, he had let himself indulge for the first time. I had thought since we were both vampires I wouldn't cheat him anymore. And here I was again…cheating him.
I hoped he wouldn't notice anything different, but my hopes were in vain. After a few more kisses, Edward slowed and sat back. My heart wrenched when I saw the confusion in his eyes. He sat quietly as he thought, and I wished I could hear what he was thinking.
"Is…is something wrong, love?" he asked.
There was no way he was not going to notice. Any other time, I would be all over him, and this was our first time alone together as vampires, with no immediate stress to deal with. "What do you mean?" I asked, stalling.
"I've been noticing that you don't hug anybody anymore. Even when I know you normally would. When you thanked everybody for your truck. When we said goodbye to everybody in Forks. When we first arrived today. You keep your arms close to your sides or clasped in front of you all the time."
As always, he missed nothing. Not knowing what to say, I tried to pull my hand away but he held it tight.
"Because you're afraid you'll hurt us?"
Still looking down at our hands, I nodded. I heard a low chuckle and I looked up. Edward had a wry, half-smile on his face.
"Ironic, isn't it?"
"What is?" He had lost me.
"This is exactly how I felt when we first started dating."
"Oh."
It was another human memory I had left behind. We had behaved like a normal couple for so long when I was human, I had forgotten the lengths he went to so we could be together. He made it look so easy after a while. The first time he kissed me, he was so hesitant, so careful. I thought it was so sweet, that he tried so hard for me. If I loved him, could I do any less?
"You remember?" he asked.
I nodded again. "How did you do it?"
"Muscle control," he answered. "And I really, really wanted to touch you."
I looked at my hand, sitting limply between his. The warmth and softness of his skin still sent a tingle moving through my hand. Part of me wanted to touch his face, but fear kept me immobile. He was gazing into my eyes, his liquid gold, and I was surprised to see the yearning there. My heart lurched; I had been wrapped up so deeply in my own troubles I hadn't thought about how he would be feeling.
"But I'm so afraid I'm going to hurt you again," I confessed.
"Let me show you," he said. "Relax your hand. Relax your fingers." He raised my hand to his face, then softly, gently brushed my fingertips across his cheek. I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of his smooth skin under my fingertips.
"You may be stronger than I am," Edward went on. "But I'm much more durable than you were when I first kissed you."
I opened my eyes and he lifted his hand to my cheek, while still holding my hand to his. We sat there for a long moment, my fingers reacquainting themselves with his face. He pressed my fingers harder against his cheek.
"Do you feel that?"
I nodded.
"It will take much more than that to hurt me."
I was a little more encouraged, as he seemed to be applying quite a bit of pressure to my fingers with no ill affects to himself.
"Do you feel that you could hold me?" he asked slowly, longing in his voice. "Just go slowly."
My heart seemed to melt within my chest at the love and naked desire I could feel coming from him. With a hesitant smile, I leaned in slowly and kissed his soft, cool lips. One long, languid kiss became several, then several more, and I closed my eyes as he trailed small kisses along my cheek. When he sucked my earlobe between his lips, a shiver coursed down my back. Edward's arms went around me and he gently lay me back until we were both stretched upon the tundra grass, his long legs alongside mine as he held himself on one elbow and continued to kiss me senseless.
I began to lose track of my surroundings, the night sounds, the stars and the lights in the sky, as a rising tide of sensation radiated through my body. Edward parted his lips and deepened the kiss, the tip of his soft tongue teasing, touching until I opened to him and tasted his venom. I felt his hand leave my face and glide down, silky and smooth, rubbing small circles on my belly and then rose slowly higher. The pure need began to grow the closer he got, and when his fingers finally brushed across my breast I sucked in a deep breath and moaned. I needed to feel him – all of him – against me, and I needed to feel him, right now!
My lips locked onto his, and my hands moved. I heard cloth tearing and didn't care. The sensation of cool air on skin came to me but that's not what I wanted. When the firm planes of his stomach touched mine I exulted in the feeling. Though I had no heartbeat there seemed to be a sound in my ears, like the pounding of waves breaking on the beach. Wanting him closer, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled.
Edward's mouth jerked away and he cried out, but I wanted those lips back and pulled again. He yelled again but he was making too much noise, and now was not the time for talking anyway. I rolled over him, kissing, holding him close while sliding myself against his chest.
Hands came from nowhere, grabbed me and pulled me away from my mate. Fire erupted in my head – he was mine, they couldn't have him. I tried to fight free and reclaim him but there were too many holding my arms, pinning my legs. I turned my head to bite but something caught me around the forehead and throat.
Then from out of the haze the angel began speaking again, soft and low, promising me all would be well, no one would harm me. The voice called to me and I shook my head violently but it wouldn't let go. My eyes closed and my world became the voice, bringing me closer, settling me to earth. It asked me to take deep breaths, so I tried, forcing myself to take longer, slower breaths until–
My eyes opened to see Edward on the ground, holding himself up with one hand while the other held his ribs protectively. His shirt was in shreds and he held my gaze intently as he spoke quietly to me. I couldn't move my legs because Jasper was before me, his arms locked securely around them. My head didn't move so I rolled my eyes around, taking in the situation. Eleazar held my left arm; Alice and Tanya gripped my right. Someone who smelled like Kate was behind me, holding my head down in a headlock. I looked down and–
I tried to shout "oh crap!" but Kate's grip around my jaw muffled my cry. My sweater was torn half-off and my shirt hung open, the white, cotton bra in tatters. Kate's arm relaxed. "What happened?" I shrieked, but it was pretty obvious. One by one, as they realized I had come back to my senses, everybody let go and I collapsed to the ground, trying to hide, pulling the rags of my clothing in front of me.
= = CR = = CR = = CR = =
To be continued...
A/N: "Oh crap" is right. What do you think? Feedback is always welcome, good or bad...
