A/N: Oh my goodness! Thank you so much for the great comments! The last chapter was one of my favorite ones to write so far, and I'm so glad folks liked it! Your comments make this effort all worthwhile, and I appreciate them very much!

Big, big thanks to my girls! To katmom for finding my mistakes (ooh boy, the mistakes) and to sherryola for pre-reading and keeping me headed in the right direction. You guys are the best!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all the characters. We're just walking along with them for a little bit. No copyright infringement is intended.


Ch. 17 – Satisfaction

From this moment, life has begun
From this moment, you are the one
Right beside you, is where I belong
From this moment on.

From this moment, I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love, I give my last breath
From this moment on.

– – – –

Shania Twain – From This Moment On


After one last, luscious kiss that lingered on my lips and sent tingles surging down to the tips of my toes, Edward raised his head, his eyes drinking in my face, his fingers tracing along my jaw line. Intoxicated as I was, my breath caught in my chest at the warmth in his eyes and the lopsided smile that lit up my world. I was a little floored, too, that I could go from fearing my feelings over him, to absolute certainty.

"You did it, Bella! I knew you could!" he proclaimed happily.

"We did it. I couldn't have done it without you."

Edward chortled. "Yes, I suppose that's true."

A happy laugh bubbled out of me. Jokes. Edward was making jokes. That told me how good he must be feeling, and I had to agree with him. We had found a solution to controlling my attacks of passion.

Edward rolled to the side and I pushed myself up on one elbow. He glanced over my shoulder and waved a hand at my makeshift anchor. "That was very ingenious, love," he said.

I shrugged. "It was the only thing I could think of. Good thing it worked."

"Nevertheless, thank you. You saved my life."

"You are my life," I said and leaned in to kiss him. Now that we were completely together again, I felt a profound sense of contentment; secure once again in the knowledge that we loved each other. The way I felt now, I couldn't be angry at my own executioner.

An errant wind blew some snowflakes into our faces. Edward broke the kiss, brushed the snow off my shoulder and looked up at the clouds. Even that casual touch of his fingers on my skin sent a thrill of electricity down my arm and across my back, eliciting a small shiver of pleasure. "Do you still feel like going to the top of the mountain today?"

A lazy smile spread across my face and I looked up at him through my lashes. "Silly boy, I've already been there."

Edward laughed at me, bemused, then cleared his throat. "Um, yes, I suppose you have. What I meant to say was, as much as I love being here with you, it doesn't look like the weather is going to be any better up there. We're already at 17,000 feet. Another 3000 isn't likely to make much difference, and suddenly I feel the urge to get you somewhere less hazardous."

I caressed his cheek softly with my fingertips. "I'll go anywhere, as long as it's with you." He smiled and turned to kiss my palm.

We took a little time to dress, gather our gear together and to dig my axe out of the pit where it was anchored. Then we started back down the mountain. The trip down was much easier than the trip up had been. For one thing, the snowfall hadn't completely covered our footprints yet, so crossing the glaciers wasn't a problem this time. Belatedly, I realized I would have been able to make it down the mountain by following our trail. Alice also might have seen our predicament and brought help. Now that I was thinking clearly, more alternatives came to light that hadn't been apparent when I was stressed out. This showed me that no matter what new mental abilities I might have, emotions could still cloud our judgment. But hindsight aside, Edward was safe now, and that was all that mattered.

Night fell by the time we reached the base of the mountain, and the sky remained overcast blocking any viewing of the aurora borealis, but my mood was so bright it was as if the sun shone from a clear blue sky.

We took our time jogging back home, maintaining a pace that allowed easy conversation. While cheerful, Edward still seemed a little hesitant. He asked some things that made me think he was wondering if anything else about me had changed.

"It might be a long way off, but does becoming a nurse still appeal to you?" he asked.

"Sure. It won't bring back Mike or Jess, but I want to be able to do some good in the world."

"So, we're still going to continue with college." He said it like a question, and it made me look closely at him. The little furrow was there between his eyes.

I slowed to a stop and took him by the hand. "Edward, I'm the same person I was before we started up that mountain. We're still married, I still want to be a nurse, and we have a paper to work on when we get back. The only thing that's changed is…we know how to take care of me now. And I'm all yours."

He didn't reply, searching my eyes and face. It reminded me a little of when we had returned from Italy and I couldn't believe that he really had come back to me. I reached up and softly rubbed his cheek with my palm, trying to convey my sincerity. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, Edward. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, but I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere."

He pulled me close and crushed me to his chest, letting out a rueful chuckle as he kissed my hair. "You haven't hurt me, love," he breathed. "You may not believe this, but I'm actually happy. I haven't been this happy in what seems like forever. It simply feels unnatural, and I can't believe my good fortune. Something must be coming around the corner to take you away from me."

I rolled my eyes at him, reached up and ran my fingers through his hair, coming to rest on his neck. "Always the pessimist. Do you ever think you'll get tired of looking for the downside?"

"I've had a lot of practice, love," he smiled down at me. "Until now, there's always been a fly in the ointment. I was immortal, but I craved killing humans. I could hear the thoughts of those around me, but those thoughts tended to be incredibly tedious. I had a loving family, but I was the odd-man out and very lonely for a very long time. Even after I found you, I wanted to kill you and I had to be so very careful not to injure you. So truly, this has been the first time my heart has felt this full."

Sliding my hands down to rest against the front of his parka, I gave his chest a pat over his heart. "Then it's a good thing you'll have a lot of time to get used to that feeling."

He nodded, bent down to kiss me, then stood for a moment, gazing into my eyes with a tremulous smile playing across his lips. "Bella, I promised you a second honeymoon after you were changed. What do you think of going to Paris during winter break?"

"I don't know. It kind of depends on if I can control my bloodlust, doesn't it?"

He pursed his lips and frowned. "Yes, I suppose you're right."

"I know you can handle a fourteen-hour flight trapped on a plane with a bunch of yummy humans, but I don't know about me. Talk about a horror movie."

Edward's face fell slightly. "I guess I was being premature. There are so many things I want to share with you. The good parts of this life."

It was times like these that I would doubt my good fortune. How could this gorgeous, amazing man have been meant for me? Then I remembered all he had said about us belonging together, and I bid those doubts to be quiet.

I squeezed his hand in thanks. "You're sweet, but you don't have to be impatient for me. We have a lot of time ahead of us."

"Yes. Yes, we do."

I tugged at his hand and we set off again. Now Edward's demeanor matched mine, and if we weren't headed back home, we could have forgotten the world and stood there, grinning at each other like idiots.

The rest of the journey was uneventful compared to the trip out. The fall tundra under cover of darkness was fairly quiet, with fewer nocturnal animals. We did hear some wolves calling to each other, with their long and plaintive howls, but we saw no more bears.

The dark of night still blanketed the ranch when we arrived. Even as we entered the edge of the yard, the front door opened and Alice emerged to meet us.

"There's always some kind of drama with you two, isn't there?" Her tone was playfully exasperated, but relief shone in her eyes.

"Sorry, Alice," I said with a sheepish grin. "Were you worried?"

"Well, it was pretty crazy for a while, with you trying different things in your head. But you figured it out. I knew you would." Alice fixed her eyes on me, as she said that. Edward reached out to muss her hair, which she deftly avoided.

"Where is everybody?" he asked.

"Eleazar and Carmen are giving a little concert." Now that she drew my attention to it, I could easily hear the sounds of music coming from inside the house – one, no two, guitars being played. "Carmen just started playing in the living room and Eleazar joined in. The rest of us dropped everything to listen, and then you came home. Come on, you guys. Welcome home!"

Edward and I took our packs into the storeroom behind the garage to put away the equipment, placing the coils of rope on pegs, storing the climbing hardware in their respective bins and shelves. I asked about replacing the equipment we had lost in the crevasse, and Edward assured me he would take care of it.

We stopped in the foyer to hang our parkas and take off our boots. Opening the inner door, we quietly retreated to the back of the living room, not wanting to interrupt the entrancing display of virtuoso guitar music. Sitting before the fireplace, Carmen wore an off one shoulder burgundy blouse, and a voluminous dark grey skirt. Supporting her instrument on one raised knee, her fingers flashed and danced across the strings, painting an exciting tapestry with a festive air. Eleazar moved at a more sedate pace and maintained rhythm and counterpoint that enabled Carmen's melodies to soar even higher. It made me think again about taking up the piano again. Given enough time, would I one day be able to play as well as Edward?

After the last note sounded, we broke into applause, Jasper adding a whistle or two. Then the entire family turned to greet us. Irina was still conspicuously absent, though.

"Sorry you didn't make the summit," Kate commiserated. Alice must have filled them in on what had transpired.

"At least you made it back safely," Tanya agreed.

"Maybe next time," I replied. "Now that I'm immortal, I expect we'll have other opportunities."

Jasper's expression was quite content, and he must have been feeling the euphoria that I was still riding. Maybe Edward's, too. "That you will, darlin'. That you will."

We excused ourselves to go clean up and hand in hand, we returned to our room to change out of the heavy winter clothing. What a difference a day made. When we had left for the mountain, I was still repressed – not wanting to give in to my passions for fear of hurting Edward. The Denali house had been a symbol of my exile – a monastery or cloister. Now with my new outlook, it was more inviting, a true home...and it had a bed we hadn't made much use of. That thought spurred other thoughts of snow...and heat. It was all I could do not to break into a run.

I smelled like the outdoors so decided to take a shower. Stepping into the closet, I pulled off the insulated winter pants and placed them in the laundry hamper. Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed Edward sitting in one of the chairs, one leg crossed over his knee, waiting patiently. He had removed his socks but still wore the winter clothing.

"What are you doing out there?" I asked.

"Waiting my turn. The closet isn't as large as the one back home, so I thought I'd give you a little space to change."

I smiled and crooked a finger at him. "You don't need to be so proper."

Edward chuckled. "Sorry, love, it's the way I was raised."

"That may be true, but you're in my world now. Come here."

"Little minx," he laughed, but rose obediently and padded over to me. Meeting him part way, I lifted my hands and began slowly opening the buttons of his shirt. Edward pulled me close with his hands on my waist, his eyes narrowing. After I reached the last button, I placed my hands on his belly, and slowly slid them up to his chest, enjoying the feel of his muscles under my palms. He closed his eyes and drew in a quick breath when I caressed his collarbones. I stretched up on my tiptoes to place a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Lifting one eyebrow, I asked in a low voice, "I'm going to take a shower, Mr. Cullen. Mind helping me scrub my back?"

He answered with a slow smile and a honey-smooth voice that almost dropped me where I stood. "It would be my pleasure, Mrs. Cullen. Allow me to assist you."

= = CR = = CR = = CR = =

The shower was hot after being out in the frigid Alaskan wilderness and steamed up the mirrors in the bathroom. When we were finally finished, we dried each other off and wrapped ourselves in thick bathrobes.

I sat on the bed and started pulling a brush through my still damp hair. Edward quickly toweled his hair dry and tossed the towel into the hamper. With a smile, he settled onto the bed next to me.

"May I?" he asked, and reached for the brush.

Edward began brushing my hair gently. I felt a tingle where his hands occasionally touched my skin. "I love the way your hair moves," he commented. I smiled contentedly as he took his time brushing. He kissed my neck every so often, making the small hairs stand up. Every touch, every sensation coming from him seemed to register seven-fold on my overactive nervous system.

When he finished with my hair, he put the brush down and pulled me into his arms. "You are absolutely delicious, do you know that?"

I touched his nose with a fingertip. "You're just saying that," I said quietly, but I couldn't help smiling as I felt the warmth beginning in my stomach again. "Could you help me put something on?" I got up and retrieved the necklace he made for me from where it was waiting in the dresser. Dropping the necklace into his hand, I turned away from him and pulled my hair to one side so he could put it on.

"You haven't worn this for a long time," he observed, as he placed it around my neck and closed the clasp. His hands moved down to my shoulders and I felt the tender touch of his lips on the nape of my neck. I shivered and turned to face him.

"I haven't felt like I could live up to it until now," I said as I stretched up to kiss his upper lip, followed by the lower one. "I finally feel like I can sing for you again," I spoke the words into his mouth as I kissed him, and felt the velvety sensation as he returned the favor.

Then he chuckled and his lips turned into a smile against mine. "It's not something you can turn off, ma chanteuse," he whispered against my cheek. "You've never stopped singing for me. I adore the way you smell." He took a long whiff of my hair, and his sweet breath tickled my ear. My lips parted with a sigh as an electric current sizzled from my neck to the base of my spine. I wrapped my arms around him and melted against his chest. His lips met mine in a dance of silk and satin and liquid heat, his arms warm around my waist. We settled sideways onto the bed and our lips continued their hungry duet as our breathing grew short and urgent.

"Edward!"

Our eyes flew open at the same time. That shriek came from Alice, in the direction of the living room.

"What?!" we growled.

A rush of feet was followed by a knock on our door. Edward and I shared a glance, then he rolled his eyes as we sat up and began untangling ourselves. That was one problem with my gift. Edward's telepathy was neutralized when I was kissing him, so we didn't get the warning we used to.

"Come in!" Edward announced, at the same time Alice pushed open the door.

"Sorry, you two, but they're coming! I saw them coming!"

Edward grumbled, "Who did you see?"

Alice hesitated and looked apologetically at me. Clearly she thought that Edward and I needed time together but this was too important to wait. "It's okay, Alice," I said. "What's going on?"

Alice blinked. "Sorry, Bella, but it's the Volturi. They're headed to Forks."

Both Edward and I froze. He was the first to recover.

"How long?" he asked.

"It looks like a month. Only four this time: Jane, Alec, Demetri and Felix."

Edward raised an eyebrow in exasperation. "A whole month away and you couldn't wait a few minutes? Some psychic!"

For the first time ever, I saw Alice get a little flustered. Even in the face of an impending visit from the immortal royal family, I hid a giggle behind my hand. It was nice having Edward being as eager as I was to be together.

"Yeah, well, this is important!" she finally sputtered.

Edward snorted. "Never mind. We'd better call Carlisle."

In a flash, Edward had risen, dashed into the closet and emerged clothed in corduroy pants and an oxford shirt. He leaned in and left a light kiss on my lips before rushing out the door.

After Edward left, Alice set her fists on her hips and cocked her head to the side. "I guess you guys are okay now?"

"Yeah," I shrugged and held open my hands. "It took me a while but I finally figured out where I needed to be. And Edward's voice really helps ground me."

Alice turned and began rummaging through my dresser. "Good. We've never had anybody need a therapist before and I wasn't sure who we could trust."

I laughed and stood up, grabbing the underwear, grey blouse, and khaki skirt out of the air as Alice tossed them to me. "Let's go talk to the others," I said.

= = CR = = CR = = CR = =

Edward had Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie on the speaker phone when we got to the living room. The rest of the Denali family was already there, and I saw with a shock, so was Irina. She was sitting in the kitchen on a bar stool, apart from everybody else, quietly observing. I slid onto the couch between Edward and Kate. Alice settled onto the other couch with Tanya and Jasper. Eleazar and Carmen reclined on their customary chaise.

"Is it only the four of them?" asked Carlisle's voice.

"The same bunch as in June, minus one," Alice answered.

"Almost as many as they sent to handle a newborn army of twenty," Jasper muttered.

"I'm surprised they decided to return so soon," Carlisle mused. "I would have thought several years might pass before they thought about us again."

"They did see that Bella was human the last time they were here," Esme said.

Rosalie spoke up, "But why would they need the four of them just to check if Bella is still human? They could easily just send one to observe and report back."

"Just in case," Eleazar said. "If Bella was still human, they would have to kill her. And that wouldn't sit well with the rest of the family, would it?"

Edward frowned, and gave a slow shake of his head. "No, it would not."

"But if it's me they want, why are they going to Forks?" I asked.

"Demetri can't track you, remember?" Edward replied. "They're probably assuming you'll be there. And if not, they can always chase us down, figuring you'll be with one of us."

Esme spoke again. "Then it's settled. We'll show them Bella isn't human anymore, and there shouldn't be any problem."

Eleazar nodded. "They do love their laws."

Edward remained frowning at that comment. "Maybe, but I don't trust them."

Eleazar raised an eyebrow. "Why not? In all the time I was with them they never deviated from the law."

"You weren't there, Eleazar," Edward countered. "When we fought the newborn army, one of them surrendered to us. She was the only one left alive when Jane, Alec and the rest showed up at the battlefield. Jane was very careful with her thoughts when she was there with us, but the young one gave me a very thorough mental account before Felix destroyed her.

"The Guard arrived in Seattle with plenty of time to deal with the newborns. But instead, they allowed Victoria to go through with her plan. Encouraged her, even. If a few of us were lost in the process, Jane would not have been upset. In fact, she was rather disappointed that we had escaped unscathed."

"Unscathed except for Jacob," I objected. Edward patted my knee to placate me.

"But what do they gain from such duplicity?" Carlisle wondered, his tone skeptical.

"Reduction in numbers." Jasper's expression was severe. "And without getting their hands dirty."

"It still doesn't make sense," Carlisle insisted. "They're committed to their mission. Getting some of us killed doesn't forward that mission."

"Sure it does," Emmett spoke for the first time. "If they're supposed to enforce all the covens, having small covens makes their job easier. And if somebody else knocks us down, so much the better."

Edward had more to add. "Do you remember what I saw in Aro's mind when we went to Volterra? He wants Alice and me to join them. The thought was so strong he couldn't hide it completely, even though he tried. At the very least, he's jealous that we're with Carlisle. He would prefer if we would join the Guard, but if not, he might settle for removing us from Carlisle's family."

Eleazar didn't speak, but he frowned and rubbed his chin, deeply in thought.

After a long pause, Carlisle addressed me. "Bella, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine."

"How is the self-control coming along?"

I made a face. "Not as good as I'd like. Eleazar has been teaching me and now, at least, I can keep from flying into a rage. They've been trying to desensitize me as well, but I still have a problem with the smell of blood."

Carlisle gave a low laugh. "We all do, Bella. We all do." A chorus of laughter broke out, in the room and from the phone. "Seriously though, that could be a problem. I'm thinking we should have the family together when Jane and company come to visit. Eight of us still might not be enough to make her hesitate, but if we're at even numbers, she definitely may not be able to resist."

"Jane's pretty sadistic," Alice agreed. "She'd love any kind of excuse."

I was a little confused. "If we outnumber them, shouldn't we be safe? I know Jane has that awful power of hers, but she can't get everybody at once, can she?"

Eleazar answered me. "When Alec and Jane are together, they're very dangerous. Alec can take away all the senses: sight, smell, touch and hearing, rendering his victim blind, deaf and helpless. He can affect a large number of people at once, and once his victims are incapacitated, they're easy targets for the rest of the Guard. Between Alec and Jane, I've seen them destroy a large coven with only a little extra help."

"That doesn't sound like much of a fight," Jasper said critically. "More like helpless sheep to the slaughter."

"Except for Bella," Edward interjected. "Alec's gift is mental so I'm sure she'll be unaffected. And she can protect some of us."

"But that's not much good in a fight," I said. "I can only touch so many people, and if I let go, they're toast."

"All the more reason for you to learn to extend your reach," Kate said quietly.

"Yeah," I mumbled, daunted by the enormity of that task. We didn't have much time.

"Either way, it's better not to underestimate them, and not to give them any excuses," Carlisle said.

Edward shook his head. "When we made that agreement with Jacob, I thought we would have more time."

"What agreement is that?" Tanya asked.

"That Bella would be able to control herself with humans before she returned to the Forks area."

Kate looked at me, speculating. "I have an idea we can try for that. It couldn't hurt."

"Thank you, Kate," Carlisle said. "If it doesn't work, we may need to come up there. I'd rather not antagonize them by making them chase us down, but more numbers would make me breathe somewhat easier."

Jasper asked, "Is there any other news from Forks?"

"No, the town seems to have settled back down," Esme said. "No suspicions have been raised. People are still careful about bears, though."

I thought about Jacob for the first time in a long time. Now that I was finally happy again, I hoped that he might be feeling better. "Any other problems with the wolf pack?" I asked.

Carlisle answered. "No, they seem to be content to keep their distance. We haven't run across them while hunting but they continue to patrol."

"So, is everybody else all right?"

"Yeah, but it's been dead boring around here without you falling all over the place."

I could just see Emmett's grinning face as he said that. I blew a raspberry at him. "Thanks, Emmett, love you, too."

The call shifted quickly from business to other family matters. After a while, Edward ended the call and Esme urged us to come home as soon as we could. We all sat for a moment, digesting the conversation. I glanced at the kitchen and saw that Irina had already left the room. Eleazar looked at Edward and broke his silence. "There may be something to what you say."

"You saw something while you were with them?"

His face was troubled as he nodded. "I didn't think anything of it at the time. It was during some of the last missions that I accompanied. Each of those missions was to quell a coven that had threatened the peace or had created a large army. It was Aro's custom to allow one or two from the vanquished coven to be spared, to show our compassion. Those fortunate enough were allowed to join us, which they naturally did. But some of those converts were quite powerful. I thought it was merely coincidence, but I'd discovered a few potential candidates for the Guard. A number of years later, Aro led the missions against their covens."

"When did you decide to leave?"

"Shortly after I met Carmen. It was rather odd. I had always been content with my lot, and felt that my contribution was necessary. I was completely committed to the mission and enjoyed ensuring the safety of our society. But after I met Carmen I started to yearn for a simpler existence, content to spend my life with her. So I left."

"Chelsea," Edward declared.

Eleazar's jaw dropped in surprise. "But, Aro knew I was committed, why would he…"

"It fits though, doesn't it?"

"What are you two talking about?" I was more than a little puzzled.

Edward turned to me to explain. "Chelsea is able to break and form bonds of loyalty, but she can't affect those bonded by love. Once Eleazar found Carmen, suddenly Chelsea lost her hold over him. I'd be willing to bet, even if you didn't have your gift, she couldn't affect you and me."

"Soo, she keeps everybody loyal to the Volturi?"

Edward nodded. "Do you remember when I told you that the Volturi was the only other large group of vampires?"

"Yes."

"Most of us who live the normal way can't seem to live together for long. Chelsea keeps them all together."

"I don't believe it." Eleazar still seemed to be working through his shock. "I found talent for Aro. Why would he force my loyalty?"

"You were valuable," Edward commented with raised eyebrow. "Can you think of a better candidate to keep loyal?"

Eleazar exhaled long, and shook his head. "I can't believe it," he repeated softly. Carmen reached over and rubbed his shoulder in sympathy.

Edward placed a hand on my back. "It looks like getting control over your bloodlust is a priority now. Kate, what's this thing you wanted to try?"

Kate waved a hand dismissively from where she sat. "Back when we were still learning to resist killing humans, I thought if I could just mask the smell of their blood it would help. I made a concoction of aromatic herbs and oils and daubed it below my nostrils."

"It worked quite well, actually," Tanya remarked.

"Do you still have any of this?" Edward asked.

Kate laughed. "That was hundreds of years ago, Edward! If I had a bottle still lying around I'm sure it would have dried out by now. No matter, I still know the recipe. If we don't have the ingredients here, I'll make a run into town today and pick up what I need."

Eleazar stood. "And I also have more to teach you. If the Volturi aren't as benevolent as I once thought," he paused and looked at each of us in turn, "you'll need to know the killing techniques and how to defend against them."

= = CR = = CR = = CR = =

I took a moment to change into something more appropriate for training, then the four of us adjourned to the front yard, and Eleazar began showing us the more lethal techniques. Now that the Volturi were set to make an appearance, our school work could wait. One of the advantages of distance learning was that deadlines were flexible.

"Bella, Edward and Jasper already know how to finish an opponent," Eleazar began. "So you need this the most."

Now that we understood the principles of sensing the forces and using them to our advantage, it was a slight variation to using the techniques to manipulate the opponent's arms and legs into different arm and joint locks. Just like human arms and legs, if enough pressure was applied at the right angle, vampire limbs would break. At first I balked when he started talking about gaining control of the opponent's head in order to tear it off. But he fixed me with a stern glare that stopped my hesitation short.

"Bella, if they come for your family, they won't be stopping at first blood. They'll come to destroy, and the only way to stop them is to destroy them first. This is self-defense – they will not hesitate to kill you. You have the strength to tear off limbs, but that won't stop a vampire. You must take their head. And even then, only fire will make absolutely sure. So if you love your family, if you love your Edward, you must be able to do this."

I glanced at Edward, who nodded in encouragement. That was a bit of a surprise. He was normally so overprotective he frowned on any activity that placed me anywhere in the vicinity of danger. Getting close enough to a vampire to tear off their head would involve more than a little risk.

I turned my attention back to the subject at hand. The horror I thought I should feel at the notion of intentionally killing a living creature wasn't where I expected it to be. No, that wasn't completely true. The idea of killing humans still bothered me, as I fleetingly thought of Mike and Jessica. But the image of Jane smiling angelically as she tortured Edward hardened my resolve. The last couple months of killing my own food also must have desensitized me somewhat. With a sigh, I nodded, tightened my jaw, pushed down any remaining squeamishness, and commenced learning how to tear off heads.

Somewhere toward mid-morning, I was paired off with Edward again so he could practice his technique. I was curious about this seeming change in attitude of his.

"So, you're okay with all this?" I asked as I tried a foot-sweep.

He avoided my sweep with a flick of his leg and pressed forward, while I stepped back to evade. "Okay with what?" he asked.

"With me learning to fight and learning how to tear off people's heads. Isn't that kind of hazardous?"

"Well, if you're able to take care of yourself that helps my peace of mind immensely." He feinted with a palm strike, but I didn't bite, waiting for the real thing. He followed with a flurry of attacks that I absorbed and countered, but he was also able to avoid my counterattack. "And you do this as well as I do."

"I guess so," I said as I tried to feel any openings in his defenses. It was rather gratifying to finally be his equal in something, and I was glad he didn't have an ego problem about it.

The overcast sky showed to be about mid-day when a thought came to me that made me uncomfortable.

"Eleazar?" I called. "Did you ever teach this to the Volturi Guard when you were with them?"

Eleazar had Jasper in a standing arm-lock. "No, I never did," he replied.

"Really?" Jasper interjected. Eleazar released him and Jasper rubbed at his shoulder. "If they were enforcing your loyalty, I'd have thought they'd want you to train them."

Eleazar frowned as he thought back. "They didn't really know. You see, the atmosphere in Volterra was not completely…familial. It was disciplined; Caius brooked no disagreements and infractions were dealt with harshly. Since you couldn't really tell whom you could trust, I thought it more prudent to keep my discoveries to myself."

"They never wondered how you could handle newborns all by yourself?" Edward seemed surprised.

Eleazar shrugged. "There were other strong fighters. I suppose they thought I was just another one." He wagged a finger at us in warning. "However, don't be complacent. Just because they don't know this system means they're incompetent. They do have strong warriors, as well as the gifted ones."

Jasper's brow was furrowed in thought. "Eleazar, if we can return to Forks, would you mind coming, too? I'd like to teach the rest of the family as much as we can before the Volturi come and we don't have much time. We still don't know if this will be an unpleasant visit, but I'd rather we were as prepared as possible."

Eleazar pursed his lips. "That is a good idea. Let me check if it's all right with Carmen." He waved his hands at us. "A good time for a break. I'll catch up with you in a little while."

The three of us continued working. In principle it was not so much different than what we had been learning before. Only now could we see the ultimate aim of all the other techniques – to neutralize the attack in order get close enough to seize control of the head, or a limb if the head was not possible. It reminded me of what Jasper had been teaching the family last June, but from close range, rather than dodging in and out. The uneven numbers also let us practice dealing with multiple opponents.

Around noon, Kate opened the front door and approached us, carrying a small jar which she handed to me. "Try this, Bella," she said.

The little jar was unlabeled and small enough to fit easily in the palm of one hand. I unscrewed the top and winced as an extremely pungent aroma came out and assaulted my nostrils – inside was a translucent ointment. If my eyes could still water, they would have. My nose detected menthol, camphor, eucalyptus, mint and a number of other aromatics I couldn't identify.

"I mixed it with petroleum jelly to be easier to use," Kate said. "Rub some under your nostrils. While it lasts I doubt you'll be able to smell anything else."

"Thanks, Kate," I replied. "Edward, do we still have some of that blood left? We should test this."

Kate broke in before Edward could answer. "Go try it in the tannery. If it can block that out, it'll block out blood. Can you imagine anything else as smelly?"

"No, I can't," I admitted.

I went off to the tannery to try out Kate's ointment. Now that we needed to bring the family together, we couldn't wait for me to develop my own self-control over bloodlust. The thought of Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie meeting the four Volturi while unprotected made my stomach tighten with apprehension. I might be able to protect some of them with my gift, but only if I was there. I could return to Forks with or without self-control, but if I couldn't control myself, Jacob would have to drive me away again. Or the tribe might kill me. Once again, there didn't seem to be very many options open to us.

I checked in the workshop to make sure Irina wasn't there. Quickly passing through the building, I slipped into the tannery and closed the door. The noxious smells of the tannery swirled around me, almost a visible presence. Pulling out the jar of ointment and opening it, I took a little dab of it and rubbed it below my nostrils. When I inhaled again, I was pelted in the face by the potent mixture of aromatic oils – but at least I couldn't make out the customary stench of the tannery. This had promise. As sensitive as I was to human blood, if it could drown out that odor, I might have a fighting chance at controlling myself around humans again.

Encouraged, I put the jar away and stepped out of the tannery. To my surprise, Irina was in the workshop, sitting at her bench. I had missed the sound of her entry while I was preoccupied in the tannery. I paused with my hand on the door to the tannery, but where could I go? There was no other way out of the workshop and the tannery had only one door. Sighing quietly, I squared my shoulders.

Irina could see my tension, and raised her hands in front of her, palms out. Hesitantly, she spoke to me. "Bella, I'm sorry I've been…unpleasant. I realize I haven't been very fair to blame you."

I stopped a distance away, not sure what she wanted, not wanting to risk a confrontation again. "Um…that's all right. I'm sorry if I hurt you that time."

"I'm fine. May I ask you something?"

"Sure, go ahead."

Irina put her hands down and sighed. "I'm sorry, but I miss my Laurent very much." She stopped and took a slow breath. "You were the last one to see him alive. Can you…can you tell me what he was doing? What he was like?"

Finally, I understood. Irina, still grieving for Laurent, was resisting the negative images that Edward and Kate had been pushing on her. She was looking for one last, good memory of him. "Well, he was very polite," I answered. "He asked me how I was doing, how the Cullens were. Things like that."

"Did he…say anything about me?" Irina's voice was soft, unlike anything I was accustomed to from her.

"Yes. I asked him if he was staying here in Denali with Tanya and you." Irina had closed her eyes while I spoke. "He said he liked you the most of all."

Irina gave a little smile. "What color were his eyes?"

"Red."

Irina nodded, a little furrow appearing between her brows. "I…heard he was going to kill you. He wasn't…cruel…was he?"

I hesitated, debating how much to say and how to say it. "Um, no, he wasn't. He apologized for what Victoria was planning and he promised me he wouldn't let me feel anything if he killed me. He was hungry but…rather considerate in that sense."

Irina sighed again. "Well, at least he wasn't being completely evil at the end."

"No, not evil, just…hungry." I nodded, in what I hoped was a sympathetic way. "I'm sorry you lost him, Irina. At that time, I thought I lost Edward. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anybody."

Irina gave a wan smile. "Thank you, Bella. I hope you can forgive me…for acting the way I've been."

"It's fine Irina. I understand."

Irina closed her eyes. "If only he had stayed here…" Her face twisted in anguish, and she dropped her face into her hands. She began sobbing quietly.

I stood for a moment, uncomfortable, not sure what to do. Then, because it seemed to be the right thing, I quietly sat down on the bench next to her and put my arm around her shaking shoulders. After a while, Kate came into the workshop, probably to check on my progress in the tannery. Her eyebrows went up when she saw the two of us sitting together. But without comment, she came and sat on the other side of Irina. Kate put her arm around Irina, too, whispering comforting words to her in their native language.

= = CR = = CR = = CR = =


To be continued...

For those of you who were wondering, there it is. The return of the Big Bad V! Oh my lord, where do we go from here? As always, love to hear what you think!