FINALLY.
Well now it took me literally forever to update. Sorry..
I don't know when I'm gonna update next time 'cause I'm about to move like tomorrow or so, and I don't have a computer there yet.. and that means I will die.
Anyways, thanks for the reviews and everything again :) love ya.
Right to the point, there's no time to waste :D I still don't own Friends.
Chapter Seventeen
Chandler went back to his and Monica's apartment. It was 1:15 in the morning and he hoped Monica wasn't awake. He didn't want to talk or explain what had that kiss meant. If he had to tell her that, he'd do it later. He was tired, but didn't feel like sleeping. Once Ross and Joey had brought it up, the whole Kathy thing had been going through his mind. What if he really had a kid already, with her?
Chandler sighed in relief as he stepped inside the dark apartment. Monica had obviously gone to bed. He turned the lights on and noticed a note on the kitchen table. He picked it up and read. "There's some spaghetti in the fridge if you're hungry." Below it she'd drew a smiley and a small heart. Chandler smirked slightly, he really was hungry. He took the spaghetti from the fridge and heated it quickly.
As he sat down to eat, he heard the bedroom door open. Damn. He had woken Monica up.
"Hey, you found the spaghetti", Monica said with a smile as she walked towards the kitchen in her pajamas.
"Yeah, thanks", Chandler said. "Sorry I woke you up."
"You didn't. I was just reading", Monica said and sat down at the table too.
Chandler gave her a brief smile and continued eating. They were awkwardly quiet for a minute. Chandler kept his interest in the food but saw that Monica was clearly thinking what to say next. "Is it good?" She asked then.
"Really good", Chandler said with a nod. "As always."
Monica smiled again. She really loved hearing those compliments over and over again, no matter in what situation. She kept thinking what to say. Maybe they could have a conversation now, she just needed to be very careful to not push him over the edge.
Chandler finished his meal and put the dishes in the sink. As he was about to leave the kitchen, Monica got up. "Thank you", she said.
Chandler frowned. "What?" he asked. "Oh, thanks, it was delicious", he said referring to the food.
Monica smiled. "No. Thank you", she said. "Thanks for keeping your promise. It does mean a lot to me that you're here."
"Oh.. you're welcome, then", Chandler said then with a shrug. He wanted to say something more but didn't know what, so he let her speak.
"Seriously, I know I should've not even thought about you seeing someone. I've been such an ass. This is all my fault and I never expected anybody or especially you to be so sweet. You've been nothing but kind to me", Monica said.
"Actually that's not true", Chandler said with a smile. "But it's okay, don't worry about it."
"See, nothing but kind", Monica said and pulled him in a loving hug. She soon realized how much did that remind of their talk few weeks ago when Chandler was drunk. He'd thought Monica was always being nice. That wasn't true either but it had still made her feel better at the moment.
She turned to face him and look at him in the eyes. She wanted to feel his lips on hers again, but wasn't sure enough to take the initiative. Chandler stared at her shining, blue eyes which were clearly urging him to kiss her. But he just pulled back from the hug.
Slightly disappointed look flashed on Monica's face against her will. Chandler leaned against the kitchen counter. "Look, Mon", he said and swallowed. "I-I really don't know what to do, to be honest."
Monica frowned. "With this situation or..?"
"Yes, or anything really", Chandler said. "I mean I do wanna be with you, of course, but something tells me it's wrong. I don't know what it is, maybe it's because you may be expecting Richard's baby, or 'cause you cheated on me, or maybe it's just me who's making this all so damn difficult. So I'm sorry, I can't tell you what's going on 'cause I don't know anything." Monica bit her lip, not knowing what to say. Chandler ran his fingers through his hair, badly wanting her to understand what he was feeling. "Okay.. I love you, Monica, I do. That hasn't changed in any way. But I can't trust you anymore."
"I know you can't", Monica said quietly.
"I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you again. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I wish I knew already 'cause this", he motioned the space between them, "is killing me."
Monica nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. It was killing her too. They stood there for a second, both staring at the floor. Monica then closed the gap between them by few, wary steps and hugged him again. He wrapped his arms around her too.
We should throw all the trusting crap in the trash.
Chandler kissed her on the top of her head before they broke the hug. "Do you have, um.. your five answers yet?" Monica asked.
"Not yet", Chandler said and shook his head.
"Okay, no pressure", Monica said with an awkward laugh. Chandler nodded. "So.. Good night, I guess", Monica added with a smile.
"Night", Chandler said as she went to the bedroom. He turned the lights off, walked to the living room and collapsed on the couch.
"Hey you guys!" Monica said as she entered Central Perk the next day. Phoebe and Rachel were there, sitting on the orange couch. "Guess what happened", she said and sat on the armchair.
"Oh, Ross got a haircut?" Phoebe asked. "Please tell that Ross got a haircut."
Monica frowned. "I don't know", she said.
"Damn it", Phoebe retorted.
"Tell us, what happened?" Rachel asked then.
Monica smiled. "Chandler kissed me yesterday", she said excitedly.
Rachel frowned. "He did?"
"Yeah", Monica said with a grin.
"But why?" Phoebe asked.
Monica let out a snort. "Well", she said and thought about it for a second. "Maybe 'cause he still loves me", she said.
"Yeah, but he clearly hasn't forgiven you, at least yet", Phoebe said.
"I know that", Monica said, her smile completely dropped from her face.
"Did he say anything?" Rachel asked.
Monica sighed. "We almost kissed later again when he came back from your place", she said to Rachel. "But then he backed off and told me he don't know what to do with all of this.. he said he still loves me but can't trust me anymore."
"Not a surprise", Rachel said and shook her head. "But you managed to talk about it without fighting, right?"
"Yeah", Monica nodded.
"See, I'm telling ya, you're slowly moving in a better direction", Rachel smiled and patted Monica's knee.
Monica shrugged. "Although he was the one to talk, I didn't that much."
Rachel and Phoebe looked at her in disbelief. "What's that like?" Rachel asked then. Monica rolled her eyes but didn't say anything.
"Did he use tongue?" Phoebe asked after a minute of silence.
"Phoebe!" Rachel berated, but turned to look at Monica for an answer.
Monica smiled. "Yeah, in the end, but then Joey came in and interrupted.. that bastard", she joked.
"Yeah, he does that a lot", Rachel said. "To me, mainly on purpose."
"Hey, if Chandler didn't tell you yet, we saw Kathy in a grocery store yesterday", Monica said.
"Kathy? Chandler's and Joey's ex Kathy?" Phoebe asked.
Monica nodded. "Oh my God, what did she say?" Rachel asked.
"She's a single mom and still an actress. Saw my ring and congratulated us", Monica said. "God, she looked different. I didn't recognize her at first."
"What did she say when she realized Chandler and you are together?" Phoebe asked.
Monica shrugged. "Nothing.. Seemed pretty surprised."
"Who wouldn't be", Phoebe grinned. "Did you tell that you're pregnant?"
"No, why would I told her that?" Monica asked.
"I don't know", Phoebe said and sipped her coffee.
"Anyway, I have to go to work", Monica said and got up. "I decided to go back, you know, since I don't have morning sickness anymore."
"Oh, good for you", Rachel said. "Bye", she and Phoebe said as Monica left the coffeehouse.
"Wow, Chandler seems to bump into his ex's a lot", Rachel said.
"I know", Phoebe said.
"I remember Chandler was so in love with Kathy", Rachel said.
"Yeah.. and then she cheated on him", Phoebe said. "Why does everyone keep cheating on him? Janice, Kathy, now Monica.. He must suck at bed or something."
"I don't know. Monica said he's the best she ever had, remember", Rachel said.
"Love makes you blind", Phoebe shrugged.
Rachel grinned. "Monica and I.. just Mon, actually, taught him women's erogenous zones when he was with Kathy."
"Really? You never told me that", Phoebe said.
"Yeah.. Well, Monica ended up screaming seven in front of us, if you know what I mean", Rachel said.
"You're kidding?" Phoebe laughed.
Rachel shook her head. "I'm not", she said. "I wish things were the same", she sighed.
"Me too."
Chandler was at work, in his office. It was 3pm and he was planning to call Kathy. He had gotten her number from Joey in the morning. He stared at the piece of paper for a while. Then he took the phone and dialed the number. It was going to be awkward for sure, but he needed to know.
It rang and rang, but no one answered. Chandler felt somehow relieved, although he knew he'd have to do it again. He decided to leave a message but suddenly didn't know what to say. He hadn't thought about it at all. He quickly hung up the phone and sighed.
Two hours later Chandler came back from work and found Ross sitting in their living room.
"Hey", he greeted. "Is Monica here?"
"Hi. Yeah, she's probably taking a nap or something", Ross said. "She's probably tired after being at work again."
Chandler nodded as he took his coat away. "Ross, we need to talk", he said with a low voice and walked to the living room.
Ross turned to look at him. "Please don't break up with me Chandler."
Chandler rolled his eyes. "I called Kathy today", he said.
"What?! You cheated on my sister?" Ross said.
"Shut up!" Chandler shushed and glanced at the bedroom door. "You've gotta stop doing that! I just called her 'cause I need to know if I have a kid with her."
"What? You don't have a kid with her", Ross said.
"How do you know? I can't stop thinking if I have, and that's actually possible. Once you mentioned it yesterday, it totally freaked the hell out of me", Chandler said.
Ross sighed. "So you called her. What happened?"
"Well.. She didn't answer so I hang up", Chandler said. "I couldn't figure out what to say, I mean what should've I said? 'Hi, it's Chandler. I dated you few years ago. I'm just calling to ask if I'm the father of your child.'"
Ross shook his head. "I can't believe I'm telling you to do this, but.. You could ask her out, I mean just as friends. For an innocent coffee, nothing more. Then, ask some questions about her baby."
Chandler frowned. "I don't know, would it be kinda awkward?"
"Of course you can make the call if you want", Ross shrugged.
"Fine. I'll ask my ex-girlfriend out.. My ex whose name is not Janice", Chandler said. "See you later", he added and left the apartment.
Ross was left sitting in the living room, wondering where had he left. His thoughts were quickly interrupted by Monica coming out of the bedroom.
"Chandler's going out with Kathy?"
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