Title: Getting to know you
Rating: T
Universe: G1-AU, my Chaos-verse
Companion fic to: Order in the chaos

Summary: The story of that one time when Prime got overcharged and helped Sideswipe with a prank.

A/N: written for kkcliffy who noticed Sunny's reference to this in Chaos came with a bang, chapter 5. The crack got a bit plotty, I'm afraid. Anyway, this is Prime's version of events. Prowl also wanted a say, so his one's posted separately as 'Order in the chaos' (chapter 28 of Prowl & Jazz challenges)


Optimus Prime was well aware that his role was far more boring than most of the Autobots realised, and that goodly part of his orn involved reading reports and then acting on the information within them. But some orns it seemed that he barely had time to complete the reading alone, and that problem had only increased since his previous security director had been invalided back to Cybertron. Red Alert was a good choice for replacement, but he was also quite... zealous... in his duties.

Putting down the report he had been reading - the fourth this decaorn listing reasons that the twins should be transferred to another unit - and rose from his seat. He understood Red Alert's concerns and they were not entirely baseless, but that did not mean he would simply accept the advice without investigation of his own. Balancing up the security team's concerns about their illegal off-duty activities were the sterling reports from Ironhide and others about their work on the battlefield. For their current situation that was more important. And to be honest, none of the pranks they had pulled had seemed that damaging to morale.

Additionally, their less-than-above-board activities had their benefits. He had occasionally had Ironhide procure a cube or two of high grade from them when he had had a bad orn, and he knew that others regularly did so. Then there was the way that Sideswipe seemed to be able to get his hands on pretty much anything a mech could name. If that mech were willing to pay the going rate, at least.

In any case, Optimus had been thinking a lot recently about how he needed to know his soldiers better. To understand them. Front line soldiers in particular could become quite... quirky... and required special handling. It came from living under major stress for long periods and having to do damage to others that in a more civilised era would be utterly abhorrent and yet now was entirely essential for survival. So to make an impartial judgement he really needed to try to see the situation from their perspective.

Then he could go back to Red Alert and assure him that everything was under control and hopefully the number of reports would decrease.

"Prime?" Ironhide asked as he walked out of his office into the command centre. "Finishing early today?"

"Yes, I thought I might. Care to join me?"

"Don't forget that Red Alert's new discipline sergeant is due to arrive in two joors." Spectre warned.

Optimus nodded at his Chief of Special Operations, waving off the concern.

"I'm sure the introductions can wait until tomorrow. The mech will no doubt be tired after his travel, in any case."

"You know what Red's like about protocol."

"Then he'll have to come and find me." Optimus said simply, though he also set an alert on his chronometer so that he would be prepared.

"So what are you planning?" Ironhide asked shrewdly as they walked towards the nearest bank of lifts.

"I think it's time I had a good chat with the twins. Over some high grade, perhaps. Any idea where they would be right now?"

Ironhide laughed.

"Yeah, Prime, I think I can find them."


A joor - or so - later, Optimus rather unsteadily set down his cube of energon as he fought through his overcharge haze to deal with an alert that had popped up on his HUD. Something about a new arrival?

"What's wrong?" Sideswipe asked.

He stared blankly at the red twin with whom he had just been having quite a lot of fun - and drinking a lot of high grade - then was distracted again by the alert. Dismissing it, he leaned back in his chair.

"I'm supposed to be at my office greeting the new discipline sergeant." he sighed.

"Boooring." Sideswipe declared.

Optimus laughed.

"Yes, it will be."

They sat in silence for a moment, and Optimus picked up his cube again. He really should finish it before going; it would be rude to waste it.

"Doesn't have to be, though." Sideswipe offered thoughtfully.

"What?" Optimus asked blankly.

"Doesn't have to be boring. You could welcome him properly. I mean, what makes a discipline officer feel more at home than something to to discipline someone over?"

"You mean play a prank on him?" Optimus realised.

It was totally ridiculous. He was the Prime, he couldn't possibly consider doing any such thing.

And yet, wasn't that why he was here? To get to know Sideswipe better?

It couldn't be that bad, right?

"What've you got in mind?"


His part was merely to use his override to gain access to the mech's private quarters. They were completely bare at the moment since the previous incumbent had taken everything with him when he transferred back to Iacon. Getting in had been far more difficult than it should have been because he kept hitting the wrong keys, but he got there eventually with Sideswipe's help.

Sideswipe seemed strangely sober for someone who had been drinking for the past... however long it had been... Optimus thought fuzzily as he watched the twins setting up the precariously balanced container of gloopy over-processed energon.

Convenient, too, how Sunstreaker just happened to have it on hand. Almost made him think they'd planned this in advance...

"Okay, done. Come on." Sideswipe grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room, Sunstreaker following and carefully placing the pressure plate on the floor before closing the door.

"Now what?" he asked, strangely exhilarated by the experience.

"Now we wait and look innocent." Sideswipe answered.

"Which you never manage." Sunstreaker snorted.

Optimus stumbled and reached out to brace himself a nearby wall.

"You okay, big bot?" Sideswipe asked.

"Guess I drank a bit more than I meant to." Optimus considered, then laughed. "I didn't think it'd be this much fun."

"It won't be tomorrow." Sunstreaker muttered, shaking his head and walking off.

"Sunny! You can't just leave me here with him like this!" Sideswipe protested.

"It's okay, Sideswipe. You go. I'll just wait here for a moment until I can walk straight."

Sideswipe didn't seem convinced, but Optimus didn't care. Where was the fun in a prank if he couldn't be around to watch it come off? Distantly he knew that that meant he would also be caught, but then his intention had never really been to go undetected. Simply to understand where Sideswipe was coming from. And now he did.

This was fun.


This was no longer fun.

His morning had started all too early with a long interrogation from a smug Red Alert, then to be passed on to an entirely unimpressed and unsympathetic Ratchet, and now he stood in the hallway outside the discipline sergeant's office trying to determine how he was going to apologise to the mech he was going to rely upon to maintain order on this ship.

He had only the vaguest memory of a large, imposing mech with a coldly sober voice. A quick refresh of the data from Prowl's file told him the mech was in fact Praxian, an ex-Enforcer with a specialty in tactical simulation, which only left him more confused. What was someone with specialist tactical programming doing in security and not in strategy? He would have to talk to Scope about that later, though. Right now he had an apology to make, and he had dithered in this corridor for long enough.

Normally he would just enter the office - usually summoned as a witness to various infractions - but this time he politely requested entry. Best not to antagonise the mech any further.

He was pinged with approval immediately and impersonally, so he opened the door and went in.

His first impression was that the mech sitting at the desk seemed a great deal smaller than he had thought. Perfectly standard for a Praxian build, with the standard monotone colouration of an Enforcer and the red and gold helm highlights to indicate that he had held significant rank. How had this mech ended up being nothing more than a junior security officer?

Prowl rose and nodded to him politely.

"Prime. Are you here to review my assignment to this role or in regards to last night's incident?"

"Firstly for last night." Optimus admitted.

"I see." Prowl said neutrally, resuming his seat and gesturing for Optimus to sit on the bench. "I have reviewed your record and it seems that this is highly unusual behaviour for you, with no prior instances of a similar nature. My superior believes you may have been coerced into involvement. It is objectively true that you were highly intoxicated while your companions were considerably more sober. For these reasons, I belive no further censure is warranted. Do you have anything to add before I finalise the determination?"

"I wasn't coerced. I had hoped to better understand them by joining in with some of their activities. It got out of hand, and I want to apologise for what occurred, but I had not expected there to be any harm done. Red Alert has been very negative towards Sideswipe in particular, and I don't think it's justified. The pranks he plays are a method of stress release..."

He trailed off uncomfortably as the other mech simply stared at him, and he gave in.

"May I know what you intend as punishment for him and his brother?"

"They will be cleaning out the washrack waste filters for the next decaorn. A task which will discomfort them to a similar degree as they did me. For the record, Prime, they have also admitted that they planned to go ahead with the prank prior to your involvement and they insist that all you did was give them access to the room, something which they could have managed themselves since they had already obtained an override code via other means. They have been honest about their role, and I see no reason to act harshly. Nor to endorse Red Alert's request that they be transferred away. Their field record clearly establishes their value here; they merely need some level of control applied to their recreational activities. Now if that is all, there is much I must familiarise myself with."

Optimus shook his head, dizzied by the mech's efficiency and clear analytical approach, not assisted by the lingering overcharge effects making his processor run sluggishly. Perhaps that was why he spoke so plainly.

"Prowl, is this truly the best role for you? Your file says you have a tactical background."

The mech had begun working on his terminal and did not look up.

"I have a glitch, Prime. I'm sure your Chief Tactical Officer can explain in detail why I am no longer part of that team, but for now I have a job to do and am content to serve as I may."

Feeling thoroughly dismissed, Optimus rose and hurried out, glancing back over his shoulder as the door closed.

A very strange mech, that one. And with something of a backstory which was no doubt an interesting tale, but Optimus would not start by going directly to Scope. His CTO was a gifted strategist and a good officer, but he did tend to be unforgiving of mistakes and mecha with flaws. No, this was something to look into a little more quietly, perhaps with the assistance of the special ops team.

Spectre's lieutenant was an aimiable mech, seemingly able to befriend anyone and everyone. Perhaps he could get the story from Prowl directly. Pleased, he sent off a message.

~Spectre? My office, two breems. And bring Jazz with you, please?~


A/N: for Prowl's perspective on the same events (and a few more tantalising hints as to Prowl & Jazz's secret relationship) don't forget to check out Order in the chaos in Prowl & Jazz challenges