A/N: Hello, all. Sorry for the delay in posting. Sometimes real life gets in the way. If you're still with me, thank you so much for sticking around! I appreciate you spending your time with me!
My deepest thanks to katmom, for keeping me from embarrassing myself, and to sherryola, for making sure I don't get too far off the beaten track. Love you ladies, lots!
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all the characters. We're just playing dress-up for a while with them. No copyright infringement is intended.
Ch. 19 – Homecoming
Even with Alice driving, the trip back to Washington still took about two days. At one point I asked what things she was seeing and avoiding. She listed relatively mundane things like hazardous road conditions, speed traps and state troopers. We also needed to stop for gas a number of times. When we did I either stayed in the truck or donned my sunglasses and scent-masking ointment before stepping out. It was nice to feel somewhat normal again.
On the trip up to Denali, I had been too wrapped up in my own misery to pay attention to much else. Now that I was more aware of myself as a vampire, I seemed to have an extra reserve of patience. My hazy human memories of family road trips held overall impressions of boredom and frustration. Of course, I was older now, so that could be part of it as well.
Easy conversation and several impromptu sing-alongs – spurred by whatever was on the radio – also helped time pass. I knew Edward had musical talent, and Alice's beautiful speaking voice was only a shadow of her singing voice. But Jasper surprised me with his rich bass. I had better control over my voice now than before and did my best to join in, but I still had room for improvement. Thus engaged, the long miles slipped by quickly. Eventually we crossed the border into Washington without any mishaps.
The closer we got to Port Angeles, the more landmarks I began to recognize. Suddenly I heard Alice gasp. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward give a minute nod. Shortly after that, Alice pulled off the main road into a gas station. I glanced at the fuel gauge; it read half-full. I reached out and took Edward's hand. He gave me a quick smile that faded back to smooth and expressionless as he looked out the window. That in itself told me something was up.
I waited until Alice finished fueling and climbed back into the cab. "So what did you see?" I asked. Alice began to babble on about a traffic jam on our route, but I insisted. "We didn't really need to fill up, and Edward is hiding something. Is it bad?" Still nobody answered me. Jasper was looking quizzically at both Alice and Edward. Alice started the truck and steered it back onto the highway again.
"You guys know it's not going to be as easy to hide stuff from me as when I was a stupid human," I said with some acerbity.
Edward gave up with a sigh. "Alice saw Charlie."
"Where?" It was my turn to gasp.
"He was patrolling on the outskirts of Forks," Alice confessed. "He recognized me driving and stopped to talk with us."
"And saw me in the back seat," I guessed.
Alice affirmed this with a nod. "I stalled so he could get far enough away from the area that we wouldn't cross his path," she finished.
Edward reached over and put a hand on my knee. "I didn't want to upset you," he said.
I gave an irritated sigh. "Edward, you should know by now that it upsets me more when you hide things from me, rather than if you were just honest from the start."
Edward murmured his apologies, but at the same time they were partially right. A mix of emotions swept over me. I was dismayed that I had missed the chance to see my father, but that was quickly drowned by relief that he shouldn't see me like this. The whole episode brought back thoughts of what to do about my parents.
E-mail correspondence was fine to a certain point. But once school let out for the holidays and for summer I would have to be more creative about why I wasn't coming home to visit. I brooded about it all during the drive from Port Angeles to Forks.
Travel study would be a reasonable excuse. If we were in Europe on travel study programs it would be too difficult to come back for weekend visits. Yet even that would only go so far. Sooner or later, Renee would want to see me in person.
Did I really need to say goodbye? Once my eyes faded to yellow maybe we could get the right color contact lenses to make brown. And by then maybe my control over the bloodlust would be better.
It was the same issue that dogged me before I was changed. I had said goodbye to my parents, but not permanently. Graduation and my wedding were supposed to provide some kind of closure, but I hadn't given much thought to the details after that. Maybe I had subconsciously hoped that I might be able to keep them in my life. But the further along I let it go and the longer I kept my distance, the more they would begin to wonder what was going on.
I was pulled out of my reverie when Alice turned into the meandering driveway up to the house. It seemed so long since we had left, I felt like a prisoner on parole, returning home for the first time. The lush ferns and dense forest lining the driveway – which once seemed ominous to my human sensibilities – now waved bright and green, a welcoming throng for the prodigal children.
The family had heard the sound of my truck winding up the driveway to the house; Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett were all standing on the front porch waiting for us when we pulled around the last turn. As we climbed out of the truck, we didn't have to wait for long before they came down to greet us.
Esme rushed off the porch and caught Edward and Alice up in a move that reminded me of Renee, then quickly grabbed me, too. "Well done, Bella!" she exclaimed, her arms awkwardly full of us. "I'm so happy you're all home." Her eyes were alight with such pure joy, there was no question as to our welcome.
"Thanks, Esme." I laughed as I hugged her back. "I couldn't have done it without everybody's help."
Carlisle stood at Esme's elbow and peeled me off into a hug of his own. "Welcome home," Carlisle said in his warm, comforting voice.
"It's good to be home."
Rosalie stood next to Emmett as he pounded Jasper on the back. "The truck runs awesome, Rosalie!" I cried. "Thanks a bunch!"
Rosalie smiled her acknowledgement of my thanks. "My pleasure," she said. "It was interesting working on a Japanese vehicle for a change."
Part of my mind tried to pay closer attention. Was it my imagination or was Rosalie not being openly disdainful to me in either tone or expression? Well, the last time we had spoken face-to-face she had given me some sisterly advice about adjusting to life as an immortal; I had just been too upset to process the ramifications. Maybe, just maybe, she was softening her disapproval of my choices?
I had to put those thoughts aside for later because Emmett, of course, was more exuberant with his greetings. When Carlisle released me, Emmett immediately pounced and caught me up in a bear hug.
"How was Denali, Bella? Did Tanya teach you anything?" he asked, the dimples on his face accented by his infectious grin.
"Yeah, it was great," I said when I could draw breath. "I helped tan leather and make clothes. It was pretty interesting. I killed a grizzly and hunted moose and caribou. You must like it up there."
His look was incredulous. "That's it? That's all you and Edward did?"
"Uh, we started school and we climbed Mt. McKinley," I said, not sure what he was getting after.
He turned to Edward and tried to stiff-arm him in the shoulder, which Edward easily evaded. "So how was it, Edward? Did you guys get busy?" Emmett's raucous laugh boomed out.
"Knock it off, Emmett!" Edward growled. His embarrassment was apparent on his face and if he could, he would have made a fair attempt at blushing through a vampire's pallor. Now I knew what Emmett was talking about and I wasn't happy about it.
"Oh, come on! You mean to tell me after waiting 90 years you don't have any itches to scratch? Or maybe the scratching post doesn't work after all these years! Does Bella even know how to scratch?" Emmett broke off, guffawing at his own ribaldry.
Even Rosalie cringed, and elbowed Emmett in the ribs. I glared daggers at Emmett and opened my mouth to give him a piece of my mind when Edward stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. His expression was suddenly composed and he caught my eye and winked, then turned to address his brother.
"Emmett, do you think that's such a good idea? Bella's still a newborn, you know. She's stronger than you are."
"This little girl? Please!" Emmett scoffed, his voice oozing with derision.
"Don't judge, brother mine," Edward chided. "Bella could show you what she learned up in Denali, but I don't think you could stand the embarrassment."
Emmett's brow furrowed, but he couldn't contain his curiosity. "What are you talking about? Did Tanya teach her about doing the wild thing, after all? OW!"
That last comment had earned him another whack, this time from Esme. I didn't need her to fight my battles, but it was funny watching her chastise the big lug.
Edward's lips spread in an evil grin. "I'm saying that, right now, Bella can take you."
Emmett rolled his eyes and made a rude noise while he rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, in your dreams!"
Edward never stopped grinning. "You don't mind a small wager then, do you?"
Emmett's grin widened to match Edward's and he straightened up. "Bring it!" he declared.
"All right, if Bella wins, you shut up about us and do her chores for a year," Edward proposed.
Finally realizing what he was up to, I thought I should step in before this got too far. "Um, Edward —" I started. He held me off with an upraised hand.
Emmett laughed with sinister glee. "And if I win, the two of you are not going to hear the end of it! In fact, I'm going to post crap about you on the web!"
"Emmett!" Esme called sharply. "That would not be helpful!"
Emmett made a face. "Okay, okay, I was just joking. All right then, I get to give you two crap, and Edward has to wear a tutu around the house for a year."
"Easy money," Edward said as he stepped forward with his hand out. "Deal!" They shook on it.
I waved my hands at the two of them, fuming. "Hey, remember me? I'm standing right here! Do I have any say in this?"
Edward came quickly to my side and whispered in my ear. "You don't have to if you don't want to, love. But if you back down now, you know he'll bother us about our intimate life anyway. And you've handled grizzly bears; he'll be just like that."
I bared my teeth and growled deep in my throat to let him know I wasn't happy about it, but I didn't say no. I wasn't too thrilled at the idea of giving Emmett free rein to razz us all the time, either.
Esme caught my growl and grew concerned. "Edward? Are you sure Bella has control of herself?"
"Without question. She intentionally stunned four humans in Fairbanks without killing them."
Esme raised her eyebrows at this revelation. "You'll have to tell us about this." She turned to Carlisle. If anybody could put a stop to this silliness, it was him. "Carlisle, dear, you don't think this is acceptable, do you?"
Carlisle cleared his throat. "Ordinarily, a gentleman never strikes a lady—"
"Tell that to Victoria," Emmett interrupted. "Hey, Dad, we're just being practical here. If we're meeting the Volturi, and it goes south, we need to know if Bella can handle herself, right?"
Carlisle pursed his lips, thinking. Was he thinking of giving me an out? Did I even want one? No, considering how raunchy Emmett could be, I'd rather stop this right now if I could. Finally Carlisle spoke.
"Bella? Is this something you agree to?"
I shrugged. "He has a point, Carlisle. And I think I'd like to shut him up about this once and for all."
Behind Carlisle's back, Emmett mugged at me, holding his hand to his forehead with the thumb and forefinger in the shape of an 'L'.
Carlisle sighed and shrugged. "All right. Emmett, no rough stuff."
"Boys!" someone exclaimed in a disgusted tone. I was pretty sure it was Alice.
We adjourned to the meadow in front of the house. Emmett took off his shirt, walked to the opposite side of the clearing then turned and flexed in a body-builder's pose. His huge biceps bulged and rolled under his skin and made me think twice. The giant pectoral muscles lay like shields across his chest, and his abdominal muscles rippled down his stomach like the waves of a rapid. A wild, untrained elemental grizzly was one thing. Emmett was no novice, and had been a vampire for much longer than me. And he literally ate grizzlies for breakfast.
Panicking a little, I turned to Edward. "Are you sure about this?" I asked.
"Positive," he replied, without a moment's hesitation. "Remember what Eleazar said? The more power they have, the better. Just try not to hurt him…too much."
"If you say so." I wished I shared his confidence.
"Hey, if you cheat, I win," Emmett taunted. "Better get that tutu ready!"
"No cheating, I just reminded Bella not to hurt you." Edward smirked. Emmett sneered at us.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I was fairly sure that Emmett wouldn't try to hurt me, but he was still huge. Not as big as the grizzly I had killed but somehow much more impressive and terrifying. Eleazar had said everyone has two arms and two legs, but I don't think everyone had arms and legs quite this big. "Don't be fearful, don't be greedy," I muttered to myself, and stepped out to the middle of the clearing.
Emmett was grinning, swinging his massive arms back and forth. Not sure what Emmett would do, I raised a hand and beckoned him to come forward. Emmett bounced on his toes a few times, then crouched and charged in a kind of half-assed effort, arms wide to catch me. Unlike that time he was practicing in the field with Jasper, he didn't even bother to be subtle. It did remind me of the charging grizzly bears, and I had no trouble tracking his movement.
When he got close enough, I stepped to the side, caught an arm and guided his energy past me, not bothering to absorb any of it. Emmett went roaring by like a bull, arms flailing as he skidded to a stop. He straightened a little, his eyes narrowing. "Looks like you did learn something up there," he rumbled.
I shrugged one shoulder, raised my hand and crooked my fingers at him again.
"All right," he growled, and came on. This time he didn't rush, but fell into more of a boxer's crouch, fists in front of him, ducking and weaving, sidling left and right as he drew closer.
"Emmett!" Esme shouted.
"I won't hurt her, Mom!" Emmett snarled, and lashed out with an open hand.
The slap stung my left cheek, surprising me and rocking my head for an instant. Rage flared hot in my mind, and distracted me as I fought it back. Then I was flying backwards from a solid shove on my chest. Helpless to stop my flight, I hit the ground, tumbling out of control before I could tuck my shoulder and roll to my feet. Looking about quickly, I turned in time to see Emmett, charging forward to continue the assault.
Face alight with eagerness, Emmett came at me again, but this time I was ready and kept my calm. He threw a few more jabs that I flicked aside before I closed the distance and engaged both his arms, my wrists crossing his forearms. Not liking the proximity, he ground his teeth and let loose an uppercut. If it had connected I had no doubt it would have pulverized granite. But there was so much force, I couldn't help but feel it coming. A small twist of the forearm was all it took to redirect it harmlessly aside. With the energy dissipated, it was an easy matter to press both of his arms down, trapping them against his body.
Toe-to-toe, my nose at his chest level, he leaned back to pull his arms free and threw them wide to engulf me in a bear hug. Just like the bear, I stopped his attack with a double palm-strike to the chest. An impact like the crash of two boulders colliding thundered about the clearing, and he exhaled explosively, drops of venom flying from his mouth. As his torso recoiled from my strike, I gave a downward push to his hips forcing him to sit down hard. I stepped in and Emmett's head was now easily in reach. Grabbing his chin and the back of his neck with either hand, I exerted enough pressure to turn his head slightly but stopped. The next move was the finisher.
"Damn!" Emmett's curse was muffled against my hand.
I became aware of Jasper and Edward's whooping and hollering, so I stepped back and offered Emmett my hand. "Sorry, Emmett, you okay?"
He ignored my hand, pushed himself to his feet and stalked away, muttering.
"You can start by washing Bella's truck!" Edward yelled after his brother, who snarled in reply.
"Now he's mad at me," I worried as I walked back to Edward's side. Alice's expression was smug, and even Rosalie looked appreciative.
"He'll be fine," Edward said. "He'll sulk for a little while but he doesn't hold a grudge."
As if in answer, we heard a thunderous crash and splintering of wood. In the woods across the river, the crown of a pine tree shivered, then slowly toppled over.
"Maybe an hour or two," Edward reassured me, and proceeded to brush the leaves and dirt off my clothes.
= = CR = = CR = = CR = =
With the impromptu sparring match out of the way, Edward and I got our things out of the truck to bring into the house. Jasper and Alice had already taken care of their belongings. Rosalie was tying her shoes, preparing to go into the woods to find Emmett. Dressed as she was in slim jeans and a yellow, long-sleeved, scoop-necked shirt, I sighed a bit. I'd never be able to pull off that color like she could.
"He's such a boy sometimes," she said with a fond smile and languid eyes.
"Should I come with you to apologize to him?" I wondered.
She shook her head. "No, Edward's right; he won't hold a grudge. He might want a rematch though."
"Wonderful," I muttered.
With a flash of golden hair, Rosalie vaulted off the porch and bounded toward the river.
The inside of the house was a welcome sight, everything where it was when we had left. The grand piano rested on its raised stand and I felt a yearning to hear Edward play again. Maybe after we had settled in I would ask him. We carried our bags up to our room and began to unpack. Once we were done, I noticed all the shelves, still standing empty since Edward had 'child-proofed' his room. The shelves I had broken had been replaced.
I touched Edward's arm as he was storing the luggage in the closet. "Hey, since I'm not a maniac anymore why don't we put your stuff back up?"
He looked critically into my eyes. "Are you sure you don't have any more maniacal tendencies?"
I rolled my eyes and swatted him on the shoulder. "Oh, come on," I said, as he laughed at me.
We retrieved his boxes from Carlisle's study and began unpacking. I placed his CD collection on the shelves I could reach, not worrying about the order since he had his own method of organizing them. As we continued putting things on the shelves, I noticed him carefully opening one box and gingerly unwrapping the contents. They were our wedding pictures and some of his other keepsakes.
I wrapped my arms around him and nestled into his side as he arranged a bottle cap next to a picture of the two of us, taken right after we had said our vows and kissed. In the picture, I was smiling up at Edward, my veil trailing down my back. I couldn't help but note the hint of color in my cheeks and my brown eyes. Gently, I fingered the bottle cap.
"What's this from?" I asked, not sure of its significance.
A gentle smile touched his lips as he gazed at it. "It's just something from the first day we really started talking to each other, after I realized how I felt about you. You were drinking lemonade at lunch."
I was suddenly touched by a wellspring of tenderness. "I didn't know you were so sentimental," I said softly.
Edward gave a quick laugh that was almost a snort. "I wasn't. Do you see what you've done to me? I've turned into a teenaged girl."
I reached up and lay my fingers against his face. "I think it's sweet."
Edward smiled, took my hand, and while holding my gaze, turned to kiss my palm. I drew closer, put my other hand around his back and stretched up to kiss his lips. The crook of his elbow came up to cradle my neck, and he bent me back and deepened the kiss, slowly and sweetly. My lips parted with a sigh, and I lost myself in a kiss that just may have curled my toes. This was my idea of coming home.
One kiss became another, then another. Warmth was just starting to grow in my belly, and my breath was beginning to quicken, when the house phone rang. I didn't stop the kisses, but let a corner of my mind monitor events as Carlisle took the call. Then before too long he hung up and called out to the house. "Jacob is on his way!"
A hint of a growl escaped Edward's lips and tickled my tongue as his lips lingeringly left mine. "It must be that test he was talking about," Edward mused.
"Oh, super," I muttered as the butterflies almost immediately started flying around in my stomach.
"You'll be fine," he assured me.
"Well, I don't really have a choice, do I?" Reluctantly, I released him and went to the bathroom to get a jar of Kate's ointment.
= = CR = = CR = = CR = =
We heard the sound of Jacob's Rabbit coming up the drive long before he arrived at the house. Even without vampire senses we could have heard him; he would need to work on that exhaust system sometime.
Everybody, including Emmett and Rosalie, was on the front porch, waiting. As I glanced over at Emmett, he caught my eye and gave a little wink. I wasn't sure if that meant everything was okay, or 'I'll get you later.' A little nervous at my audience, but knowing I had to do it, I walked down the front steps to stand between Edward and Jasper.
Looking through the windshield, I was surprised to see Jake's father, Billy. His eyes were wide as he took me in for the first time. Jacob got out of the car first and pulled Billy's wheelchair out of the trunk.
"Hey, Bella," Jake said. His tone was indifferent, and I noticed he was keeping his face stiff and wooden. As irritation flooded through me, I realized with dismay that I had been looking forward to seeing him again. I silently told that disappointed part of myself to be quiet. This wouldn't do, especially after I had promised to give him space.
"Hi, Jake," I said, in as neutral a tone as I could manage. A variety of greetings came from the assembled family members.
"I brought my Dad." From Jacob's tone, he wasn't very happy about this. "He already knows about you, and he's full human. You recognize him, right?"
I knew he was just concerned about my blood lust being under control, but the question still insulted me. I controlled my annoyance with some effort. "Yes, I know him," I answered evenly. "How've you been, Billy?"
"Been better," Billy said from the car. "Feet been bothering me some."
"Sorry to hear that." I paused. "Are you okay with doing this?"
"You're almost family, Bella," he said. "I had to see you for myself."
Without another word, Jacob opened the passenger door and helped Billy into his wheelchair. I started to take a step towards them but heard a low growl come out of the woods. I turned my head toward the sound and saw Sam. A small flight of butterflies took off in my stomach at the sight of the huge, black wolf. A grey wolf and a sandy-coated wolf accompanied him – Leah and Seth. All three of them pushed silently out from under the trees and padded over to stand next to Billy and Jacob, a canine wall that flanked either side of the two human forms.
Not wanting to make them nervous, I stopped moving and let my gaze rove. Jacob's eyes had wandered in Edward's direction, and I was shocked to see the hatred that rested there. Jake caught me watching him, and with some effort forced his face back into that expressionless mask. I glanced back at Edward, but he gave no evidence of noticing Jacob's glare. I hoped this didn't mean they would resume their hostilities.
This was Billy's first time seeing me as a vampire, and he seemed to be working to get over his shock. Sam stared silently down at me, his eyes narrowed into slits. Leah had her lip curled back exposing one fang, and still growled quietly, deep in her throat. Seth looked…calm, his tail slowly wagging back and forth, his tongue lolling out of one side of his mouth.
Trying to make them feel more comfortable, I stepped back and took hold of Edward and Jasper's hands. I wasn't too worried because I could only smell Kate's ointment. This gesture was just for them.
Jacob pushed Billy's wheelchair forward and stopped a few feet away. "Billy, are you sure about this?" I asked.
"Go ahead," he said. His words were calm, but I could see his skin pale a little under the tan.
Making a show of it, I leaned in close and took a long, audible inhalation. I could smell a hint of werewolf coming through, but no human. Briefly, I was happy that the ointment was effective against werewolf as well. That was one nasty smell, if it could make it through the ointment. I exhaled and looked Jacob in the eyes.
"See?" I said as calmly as I could. "I'm good. No homicidal urges."
Billy looked up at Jacob, who shrugged.
I let go of Jasper and Edward, held out my hand and took a slow step forward. Suddenly a huge, black head blocked my way and Leah's growling increased. I froze, my hand still held out.
"Sam, wait!" Jake's voice rang out. "You okay, Bells?"
"Yeah," I said, a little unsteadily. "I was going to shake Billy's hand."
"Okay, take it easy, Sam."
Sam stared at me with his midnight eyes for a moment, then retreated a few paces to stand next to Seth. I relaxed and stepped forward again. "Thanks for coming, Billy." Billy took my hand and shook it, wincing a little at how cold it was.
"You're pretty brave," I said. "What if I wasn't in control of myself?"
Billy motioned with his head at Jacob and the wolves. "I had backup."
"Yeah, like that would have helped if you were dead," Jacob muttered under his breath. It sounded like they had disagreed on this before coming over.
A growl and several barks from Sam interrupted us. "Sam says, 'it doesn't matter, she still broke the treaty,' " Edward translated. " 'She's still a murderer.' "
"We've been over this already, Sam!" Jacob's voice crackled with anger. "I'll fight you again, if I have to!"
I was afraid of this when I saw Sam had come with Jacob. He had originally given the command to have me killed for killing Mike and Jessica and breaking the treaty. I didn't think he was going to be quite as forgiving as Jacob.
"Sam, I'm a murderer, too," Edward said quietly. "I've killed far more than Bella, and yet you kept the treaty with me."
Another string of growls.
"No, I haven't killed any humans since I've come here," Edward answered Sam. "But that wasn't Bella's fault! She wasn't in control of herself."
I held my hand up to Edward. "Sam, I'm sorry that I killed them, more sorry than I can tell you. That doesn't make it right, but the only thing I can say in my defense is…I wasn't in my right mind then. That wasn't the real me. This—" I indicated Billy and myself with my hand. "This is the real me." I took a deep breath and spread my hands to Sam. "We found out I'm more sensitive to the smell of blood than the rest of Edward's family. We were a long way from my friends when I scented them, and Edward and Jasper could barely smell them.
"But I'm not like that anymore. Do you think I'd be able to get close enough to shake Billy's hand if I was some crazed killer? I know I'm not perfect, but I've come a long way. I know I can honor the treaty like the rest of the family now."
The fur on Sam's neck seemed to bristle and he bared his fangs. He didn't seem too convinced. I swallowed a lump of fear that rose in my throat, squared my shoulders and slowly stepped up, stopping right in front of Sam, so close I could feel his breath on my face.
"Sam," I said as quietly as I could. "I wasn't in control of myself, any more than you were in control when…you know…with Emily." I felt pretty low bringing up Emily again, but it was the only thing he could relate to. "I'd give anything to have that moment back, but I can't. If you really feel I need to pay for violating the treaty…" I clasped my hands, closed my eyes and bowed my head in front of him. "Do what you need to do," I whispered.
A moment of silence passed. Suddenly a blast of fetid breath hit me as Sam snarled in my face. Then he wheeled and charged back into the woods.
Jacob cursed as he released the breath he was holding. "Dammit, Bella! Are you crazy? I told him to hear you out but I couldn't be sure he wouldn't kill you! Don't do things like that!"
I let out my own shaky breath and tottered back to Edward's side. He didn't say anything but the whites of his eyes were showing and his nostrils were wide with his fear. I lay a hand on his shoulder and said to both of them, "I'm sorry, I didn't think about what I was doing. I just did it."
"Pretty gutsy, Bella." Billy ignored Jacob. "You sure are different. How do you think Charlie would take the change?"
I could tell by his tone that he didn't really approve, but his expression was neutral. "You know him as well as I do," I said. "He's a cop. He'll look at my face, see my eyes and say 'what the hell happened to you?' And how do I answer that without putting him in danger from the Volturi?"
"The rock hard skin would be a dead giveaway," Billy said drily. "I don't know, Bella. This was your choice, after all. Didn't you think of what you were going to say to him before you did this?"
I cast my eyes down and shuffled a foot. "I…don't know. I wasn't sure I'd even get to see him again. We may just have to go away." I came to a brooding stop, not quite sure what else we could do.
Billy seemed to take pity on me, cleared his throat and addressed Carlisle. "Dr. Cullen, these vampires. Have they been here before?"
"Yes," Carlisle answered. "They're members of what would be the ruling family of our kind. Alice sees mostly the same group that came to the field shortly after the battle with the newborns. All the wolves had left by the time they arrived."
"And they're not like you guys, are they?"
Carlisle frowned. "If you mean do they abstain from killing humans? No. They also aren't likely to honor our treaty with you, so have your tribe members be careful."
Jacob seemed to struggle with himself. When he finally spoke, his eyes were unfriendly, his words halting. "How many of them?"
"Four," Edward answered.
Jake bared his teeth in a feral grin. "That won't be a problem."
Edward shook his head. "If they were normal vampires, maybe. But two have an offensive gift. A third is an extremely skilled tracker."
"What kind of gifts?"
"One can inflict incredible pain. The other can take away all your senses. I'm not sure if they'll be effective against you. But since their gifts are mental like mine, I'm assuming they will be."
Jacob grunted, "So what good will you be against them?"
Carlisle held up two hands. "Hopefully it won't come to that. They're just coming to verify that Bella has been turned. That was the condition they set to let her leave Volterra alive last spring. Once they see she's one of us they should leave with no problem."
"Then why do they need four? And two of them bad-asses?"
Jasper spoke for the first time. "We think it's for backup. If Bella was human, they'd have to kill her, then they'd kill us for violating their rules. Do you think we'd let them do that?"
Jake's face hardened at the thought. "Guess not."
"Billy, would you like to come in for a while?" Carlisle offered. "Emmett's bound to have a game on."
"Maybe another time," Billy said. "Some of the other tribesmen weren't too thrilled about the idea of the killer vampire coming back to town, so I need to let them know that it's safe."
We seemed to be on decent terms now, but I could see they still didn't want to push it.
Jake pointed a thumb at Seth and Leah. "They already know, Dad."
Billy gave Jacob a condescending look. "The non-wolf members, Jake."
A sheepish expression broke over Jake's face and both Seth and Leah were doing the wolf equivalent of laughing. "Oh, sorry. Forgot about them." Face still flaming, Jake released the brakes on Billy's wheelchair, rolled him back to the car and helped him into the front seat.
Once inside, Billy rolled down the window and addressed me. "Bella, Charlie's my friend. I won't tell him anything that would put him in danger. But sooner or later, you'll have to explain why you're not coming home to see him on summer break or holidays. It's going to be Thanksgiving soon. Have you thought about that? It may be kinder to just cut it off somehow, instead of dragging it out for years."
I felt my knees wobble as the thought struck me. This would be the first Thanksgiving I would have to spend without either of my parents. Before I came to Forks I was always with Renee for the Thanksgiving holiday. And last year I wasn't aware enough to remember how I had spent it with Charlie.
But cut it off…how? My mind balked at the idea. Outwardly I nodded, pretending to think about it. "Thanks, Billy. I'll…I'll try to think of something."
Leah turned with a bark and ambled back into the woods. Seth paused near Edward.
"How is Leah?" Edward's out-of-the-blue question surprised me.
Seth woofed a few times at Edward, who nodded. "We should be here for a while," he said. "Come back when you have time." Seth yipped and followed after his sister.
I glanced at Jacob and his mask seemed to slip for a moment. The brief look I got told me it hadn't been a long enough time for him yet. "Welcome back, Bells. It's good you're not a maniac anymore."
"Thanks, Jake."
"You still stink, though."
I made a face at him. "So do you."
= = CR = = CR = = CR = =
After we watched Jacob, Billy and the wolves leave, the rest of the family began to disperse to what they were doing before the test. Edward grasped me by the shoulders, looked me in the eyes and gave me a little shake.
"You nearly gave me a heart attack, do you know that?" he said, his eyes almost sparking with fury at me.
I dropped my gaze. "I…I know. I'm sorry," I mumbled. "But it was the only thing I could think of, and if Sam wouldn't back off, then Jacob would have to fight him again, and then who knows what would have happened?" I didn't realize it but I was babbling in my agitation.
Edward continued to glare at me, then closed his eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand. He exhaled loudly. I stepped forward, wrapped my arms around his back and burrowed my face into his chest, hoping to get him to forgive me.
"It's a good thing I could read what he was thinking," Edward said, still rather tense. "While you were standing in front of him like that, he couldn't help thinking of the little lost girl he carried out of the forest. If he decided to kill you…" His arms squeezed me close and I felt his shuddering sigh in my hair. "He's not happy about you reminding him about Emily."
Trying to divert his attention away from me, I asked him, "It looks like he and Jake are okay, now?"
"So far. Sam is second in command now," Edward replied.
"Really?"
Edward nodded against the top of my head. "Remember, Sam originally offered the alpha role to Jacob when he started transforming. He was always comfortable with the supporting role. He just didn't agree with Jacob not killing you for breaking the treaty."
"Why didn't Jake just order him not to bother us?" I wasn't ungrateful, but I was curious.
"I don't know," Edward admitted. "He wasn't thinking about it. Maybe we'll ask him some time."
"Is Jacob okay? He's…he's still having trouble isn't he?" I couldn't help wondering.
"Yes, he is." Edward sighed. He pulled away, settled onto the front steps and patted the step next to him. I sat down and leaned into his shoulder. "It's not easy to get over your first love, you know. He blames me for taking you away from him and changing you."
I felt bad but what else could I do? I'd never concealed from Jacob that I wanted to be a vampire. "He must hate me now."
"No, it's me he hates," Edward said indifferently. "When he thinks about you he's mostly only sad."
"I guess three months would still be a little too soon." I sighed and took Edward's hand, gently caressing it with my own. I toyed with the idea of calling Jake to try and cheer him up. But that would be the opposite of helpful in this case.
Edward must have read the emotions on my face. "At least he's not forced to cope by himself. You wouldn't believe who's giving him a shoulder to lean on."
"Who?" I wondered.
"Leah."
I sat up straight in surprise. "You're right, I don't believe it. I thought she was so nasty to everybody they couldn't stand her."
Edward gave a low chuckle. "That's the interesting part. She was only nasty because she was forced to feel Sam's love for Emily, his pity for her, and they could all feel her misery.
"We all assumed they had to be part of a pack if they went werewolf. But they don't. When Leah saw Jacob break away from Sam and assume the alpha role, that gave her the idea to break away, too. It must have taken tremendous force of will, but she did it. She's a lone wolf now."
"And she's happier?"
Edward nodded. "A little smug, even. She's not a member of a pack, so can't be forced by alpha commands. She came today because she wanted to. She does miss the sense of family and wants to keep an eye on Seth. That's why she stays with them. But now at least her thoughts and feelings are private again."
"Except from you," I commented. Then another thought occurred to me. "Are she and Jacob…" I left the question hanging.
"No," Edward shook his head. "You saw him, it's still too soon. But she knows exactly how he feels, so she's a good sounding board."
My feelings were mixed again. I felt relief that Jacob had someone there for him, and a slight sting that I wasn't the one helping him. But it was unreasonable to feel that. As long as he had someone to lean on, and help him feel better, that was what was important. I would just have to deal with it.
The front door opened behind us, and Emmett emerged, followed by Rosalie. Inwardly, I groaned—I really wasn't in the mood for a rematch. Fortunately, a second glance told me Emmett wasn't angry at all, just his normal, good-natured self.
"Gotta admit, you surprised me, Bella," Emmett said as he crossed the porch and descended the steps. He stopped at a lower step so his eyes were closer to my level, and hooked his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans. Rosalie snuggled into his back, wrapping her arms about his waist, looking very content while resting her chin on his shoulder.
"I never figured you for the fighting type," he admitted. "You were just too klutzy when you were human. Did Charlie teach you how to fight and you just never told me?"
Emmett's question surprised me and I shook my head. "Nope. Never did anything like it until I met Eleazar."
"Eleazar taught you this while you were up in Denali?" he asked.
"Mm-hmm. Eleazar taught all of us." I did a double-take. "Except for Alice. She doesn't need it."
"So, do you think maybe you could teach me, too?" Emmett asked hopefully.
"I don't consider myself any kind of teacher, Emmett," I demurred.
"Actually Eleazar, Carmen, Kate and Tanya are all coming for a visit," Edward said. "Jasper and I thought it might be a good idea for Eleazar to teach everyone in the family. We don't know what the Volturi might be up to, but it would be best to be prepared. If you want, we can start you on the basics before Eleazar comes. You too, Rosalie, if you're interested."
Rosalie gazed sideways at Emmett through narrowed eyes. "You're going to be at this for a while, aren't you?" she asked him.
Emmett gave a shrug and a sheepish smile. "Um, maybe," he hedged.
"Might as well," Rosalie sighed, but she gave me a conspiratorial wink, hidden from Emmett's view. I did my best to keep a straight face.
"Excellent!" Emmett said eagerly.
With the misty afternoon light filtering through the canopy of trees, we returned to the meadow in front of the house. Jasper heard what we were doing and came out to help. Emmett and Rosalie would begin learning first, as Esme had some work to do and Carlisle had to get back to the hospital for his shift.
As we worked with Emmett and Rose, I found that trying to explain to somebody else what my arms and legs were feeling forced me to develop a better understanding of the principles and techniques. Emmett had a more difficult time grasping the concepts, because he had always relied on his speed and his considerable strength. Letting go of that and relying on technique and sensitivity was a foreign language to him. Rosalie had a more open mind to it, and was able to catch on a little faster. If she continued to advance she was going to make Emmett's life much more interesting.
Even though engaged in this necessary activity, I was a little distracted. All of Billy's talk about my parents and what to do about them kept me from putting my full attention into working with Emmett and Rosalie. I found myself letting Edward and Jasper take the lead with the instructions. And as the light started to fade with the setting sun, I excused myself and went into the house.
I went up to our room and changed into jeans and the darkest shirt I had. It was more midnight blue than black but it would do. Putting the jar of ointment into my pocket after applying a little more, I slipped out the back door of the house and into the woods.
I argued with myself with every step. What I was doing was ill-advised and foolhardy. What good could come from it? But I couldn't help myself. It was my first time traveling cross-country toward my destination, but I could have found it with my eyes closed. Within a matter of minutes, I was hidden in the woods in back of Charlie's house.
A tidal wave of nostalgia hit me as I gazed at the house that had been my home for the last two years of my human life. The window to my bedroom beckoned, and I wondered what Edward might have thought and felt when he stood here looking up at it. How would it be possible to go home? I looked down at my hands, fingers spread wide. Faint beams of light from the streetlight reached into the gloom where I stood, and touched my hands. Even with that little light, I could detect the minute rainbows refracting from my skin.
Suddenly angry, I stiffened the fingers of one hand and thrust it like a dagger into the trunk of a nearby spruce tree. Like an axe blade, my fingers sunk into the wood up to the knuckles with a dull thunk. It was nowhere near my full strength. What would happen if I tried to hug my mom or dad and forgot my self-control? I would kill them just as surely as if I exposed them to the Volturi. This was the same dilemma Edward had faced when he considered life with me. The difference was, I had embraced life with him. I couldn't see asking them to do the same for me.
Renee had absolutely no filter, and couldn't keep a secret to save her life, which in this case would be a literal situation. That probably explained my dislike of surprises—I'd hardly had any while growing up.
Charlie was a pragmatist. As a cop, he dealt with evidence, and what he saw around him. I'm sure we could convince him of what we were, but that would require us to turn him, and I just couldn't see that being fair to him. Everybody knew Charlie, and losing the police chief of a small town was sure to make a big splash. Charlie hadn't changed his pattern since I was born, and was practically a Forks landmark. He liked his burger and beer at the town diner. I suppose he could still fish as an immortal, but he'd never eat it again. And to have to move every eight to ten years to keep from arousing human suspicion? Heck, he hadn't moved since he and Renee bought that house. It wouldn't be right to tear him out of that existence, just to avoid the consequences of a choice I had made.
I froze, then slunk deeper into the shadows as I heard the approach of a vehicle. Not surprising, it was Charlie in the cruiser; this was the usual time he came home. As he got out of the cruiser and slammed the door I gripped the trunk of the spruce. It was all I could do to stay quiet and keep from running over to him. He hadn't changed much in the last months. His face was still careworn, his hair thinning just as much as before. He sighed heavily as he climbed the steps to the front door and opened it.
Once he was in the house, I could visualize from the sounds he was making, exactly what he was doing. The clink and creak told me he had unhitched and hung up his gun belt. His boots hit the floor with a thump after he removed them. Footsteps on creaky floorboards led over to the refrigerator which creaked open. Then I heard the gassy pop and fizz of a beer can being opened.
Something clunked into the sink. "Christ, fish again," Charlie sighed into the empty house. "Sure wish Bells was here. She'd know what to do with this crap."
I couldn't take it anymore. I stumbled away from the house, blundering into one or two trees before I collapsed to the ground and leaned back against a tree trunk. My chest began to convulse, but I couldn't cry, the damn tears just wouldn't come. I dug my fist into my mouth, trying not to make noise as I felt my heart breaking in my chest.
This was a bad idea, I knew that now. I missed my mom and dad more than I ever thought I would. Billy was right. There was no way that I could walk back into their lives now that I was a monster. Even if I could stand the smell of humans without Kate's ointment. Even if I could change my eye color. Even if I saw them only at night or on cloudy days. There was no way to disguise the feel of my skin.
I thought back to how Edward's skin had felt to me. It was one of my more frequent thoughts so was easier to recall. Back when I was human it was hard like marble, and cold as ice. Now it felt just the same as my own, because I was as hard as he was. During the early days when I knew him, he had tried to avoid touching me. And now I knew why. One hug, one handshake and my parents would know something was wrong, just like I knew something was different about Edward. They knew how my skin felt before. The worst part was, we couldn't even risk trying. If we tried and failed to fool them, how could I explain that? Bad circulation? Skin disease? No skin disease would make it this hard, and they'd want to take me to every doctor they knew. The only explanation was the truth, and the truth could get them killed.
I could see no way out. This was the full price I had to pay to become a vampire. I just hadn't admitted to myself until now how steep it was. I had more to worry about than simply skipping out on Thanksgiving dinner.
I don't know how long I crouched there, hugging my knees, chest heaving in sobs. I barely noticed my surroundings in my misery and so didn't see Edward until he sat next to me and pulled me into his lap.
It had begun to rain some time ago. Edward's shirt was as wet as mine as I buried my face into his chest and kept sobbing, my hair clinging to my face and dripping down my back. He rubbed my back and whispered reassuringly to me. After a while, I calmed down enough to speak.
"How did you know where to find me?" I blubbered into his shirt.
"You still sing for me, you know," he said quietly. "And now that you wear Kate's ointment, you smell even more unique."
I gave a sour grimace. "Great, I smell like grandma's liniment."
"You still smell good to me," he insisted.
I didn't answer, and simply clung to him, verifying his presence under my hands, inhaling the sweet scent of him, listening to his steady breathing. He was my rock and the reason for my existence, and just being near him helped to steady me more than anything else. In time, my breathing returned to normal, and I was able to lift my head again.
"Can you take me home, please?" I felt another pang as I said it, because I knew I could no longer refer to the house behind us in that fashion. Edward lifted me easily, and started swiftly through the forest.
I could have run, but it was comforting to feel Edward's arms around me. The sensations of flying through the forest brought back other, more pleasant memories of when we had traveled like this. Before, I couldn't see well enough to make out anything in the blackness as it rushed by. Now I could see everything that he could see.
I gazed at his face, a little higher than my own, and reached up to stroke his cheek with my fingers. The corner of his lips curved into a smile and he turned his head to nuzzle my hair. The natural affection that welled up when he was with me helped to dispel the sad feelings. I gave a sigh, and focused myself. He was the reason for all I had gone through. To be his wife and to be with him forever, I had decided to walk away from everything else, including my parents. I don't know why I was fussing about it now. I guess I had been in denial hoping Edward or I might be able to think of a way they could stay in my life. Whether he had intended to or not, Billy's observations brought home what I had been hiding from.
"Edward? I'm okay, now. You can put me down."
He continued to nuzzle my hair. "I know, but I like this."
"Okay, but I have something serious to ask you."
He drew his head back and glanced down at me. "Go ahead."
"All right," I said, and plunged in. "I can't see any way to keep Charlie and Renee in my life. I can't just keep avoiding them; that would hurt them, too. They'd wonder what they had done or why I was staying away. What's the best way you can think of to cut off contact?"
He paused before answering. "That's another reason why I didn't want you to change. I knew your parents were important to you, and I didn't want to take them away from you."
"Yes, but this was my choice. It's my responsibility, and I think Billy's right."
Edward ran on while he thought. The flickering light that only our eyes could see sent ghostly shadows across his face. "If you hadn't been corresponding with them through e-mail, you could have moved out of the country and just lost track of each other. That would still hurt, though. I just don't see any way that won't hurt them somehow."
"I was afraid of that," I said in a resigned tone.
"I think—" he began, and stopped, his lips grim.
"What?"
"I think you'll have to die. And I'll have to die with you," he said quietly.
My mouth dropped open and I gasped at the thought of Edward being harmed, then common sense kicked in. "You mean fake it, right?"
"Yes, of course," he said. He slowed down, as we were close to the house. Setting me back on my feet, he took my hand and we walked the rest of the way. "They would mourn us, but at least they'll have some kind of closure."
At one time, the thought would have horrified me. Charlie and Renee would be devastated. No parent wants to outlive their children, but it seemed to have the least negatives. If I went missing, they would always wonder. Charlie might never stop searching for me. If I intentionally became estranged from them, it would just be cruel and I don't know how long I would be able to keep it up.
Edward watched me as I processed his suggestion. "You don't need to decide now," he said. "But it seems to be the lesser of several evils. If I—" the breath seemed to choke in his throat and he stopped.
"If you…what?"
"If I was sure you would move on, I would have done that. But you knew me too well by then. I didn't think you would believe it."
His face was anguished again. I stopped him with a tug on his hand. "Can you stop beating yourself over that? I swear I'm all right about it."
"I know, love. You've told me many times. But I still have a good memory, even when I don't want to."
"I'm going to kill Jake one of these days," I growled.
Edward shrugged. "It's no more than I deserved. I just have to remember to counteract it."
"Counteract it how?"
We had reached the front steps, and he pulled me close into the circle of his arms. "I have to remind myself—you chose me. You chose to walk through the fire, so we could be together. And then I'm happy again. All I want is to be with you forever."
He leaned down to kiss me, and I felt the world shift back into its proper place. A little breathless, I said, "That's good. I'm glad there's something we agree on."
= = CR = = CR = =
To be continued...
And there you have it, our heroes have returned home. As always, love to hear what you thought of it! Until next time, bon chance!
