Omg it's the 20th chapter :D Cool.
Thank you for everything again.


Chapter Twenty

Everything seemed great for Monica and Chandler. They were now living a normal life, both working, spending days in Central Perk with their friends and evenings and nights together. They didn't talk much about the awful events from the past months. They didn't want to because they knew it made them both uncomfortable. Chandler had tried to forget about the whole abortion thing, he really didn't want to think about it. Things were like they'd used to be, and no one wanted it to change. Their friends didn't know exactly how they had worked things out so well so sudden, but they honestly didn't care. Chandler and Monica seemed happy again and that was all that mattered. Chandler was surprised it was all going so well and it hadn't been so difficult to forgive Monica. Maybe it was partly because of Monica's pregnancy, which he was really excited about. She was now almost 4 months pregnant and the bump could clearly be seen. But when someone he hadn't heard about in so long, someone he'd tried to forget knocked on their door, all the bad feelings and thoughts took over his mind again.

"Richard?" Chandler heard Phoebe saying at the door. He and Monica were sitting on the living room couch side by side.

"Hi, Phoebe", Richard greeted. Monica and Chandler felt each other freezing slightly as they heard his voice. "Is Monica home?" he asked Phoebe with a somewhat wary tone.

Phoebe looked at him for a second. "Um.. Yeah, there she is", she finally said and turned to look at Monica.

Monica glanced at Chandler, but he was avoiding her eyes. She rose from the couch and walked up to Richard, greeting him with a smile.

"You know Mon, I have to go, I have a client. See you later", Phoebe said quickly, took her coat and left.

"Bye", Monica said.

"Bye", Richard said too, but soon turned to look at Monica again. "I keep repelling your friends, don't I?"

"No, it's okay. She really did have a client, anyway", Monica said with a laugh.

Chandler sighed on the couch, not knowing what to do. For whatever reason, his heart was beating faster and he was anxious. He wanted to run away but how could he? He tried to tell himself he needed to face this, face Richard but it was hard. Chandler wasn't scared of him or anything but he just kept thinking how much pain he'd actually caused them. Somehow he got himself up from the couch and walked to the door.

"Hey, Richard", Chandler said. "It's been too long." He felt Monica hit him gently in the back. Apparently that was inappropriate.

"Hi, Chandler," Richard said.

"Won't you come in?" Monica said friendly.

"Thanks", Richard nodded and stepped in. Monica closed the door behind him. "I can see the pregnancy has proceeded. How are you?" he asked her.

"I'm good. I'm working again and everything's great", Monica said. "Haven't seen you in awhile, though."

Richard sighed. "I'm sorry about that. I know I said I'd come over more often and I didn't.. I learned it's not so easy. And I also said I'd call before coming but my phone isn't working."

"It's alright", Monica said. "Oh, I have an ultra photo. You wanna see?"

Richard glanced at Chandler, who was leaning against the back of the couch. "Okay", he said.

Monica pulled a picture out of her purse and gave it to Richard. "How cute", he smiled.

Chandler rolled his eyes, thinking which would be a better solution, killing Richard or himself. Why had he come?

"I know", Monica said after looking at the picture for awhile. "By the way, the next ultra is next month. Do you want to come?"

Richard noticed the look on Chandler's face. "I know this isn't really my business but.. I heard from your father that you two are still together and I don't wanna come in between. Maybe it would be okay but I think it would be better if you'd do this together", Richard explained. "Don't get me wrong, I don't wanna seem totally nonchalant but the ultras and doctor appointments.. They're all new for you and I'd just be in the way."

Monica and Chandler listened to him intently. "If that's what you want", Monica said rather quietly.

"I think that's for the best."

"Thanks", Chandler said.

Richard nodded and glanced at the watch. "Oh, I have to leave. I have a meeting", he said and handed the picture back to Monica.

"Actually, you keep it. I have another one", Monica said with a smile.

"Okay, thanks", Richard said and put it in his pocket. "I'll call you some time. I will this time, if I get my phone fixed", he said and turned to leave.

"Okay, bye", Monica said.

As soon as Richard had left the apartment, Monica turned to Chandler. "Are you okay?" she asked and stroked his arm.

"I am now", he said with a sigh. "Why did you give him the picture?"

Monica frowned. "It might be his baby. He didn't see it in the ultra."

"Exactly, why did he get the picture if he didn't even bother to be there?"

"We didn't ask him, how could he even know? And I'm sure you were just glad he wasn't there."

"Of course I was glad 'cause didn't want him there! I don't want him here either."

"Chandler-"

"Why did he come? He didn't come in over than a month, why now? The man comes once a month for a five minutes visit, what's that about? He doesn't give a damn about the baby. And I'm sure there are other phones in the world than just his", Chandler said.

Monica wrapped her arms around him to calm him down. "I know it's hard. It's not easy for you, for me or him. We're all in a difficult place here", she whispered. "Just.. try to understand him."

Chandler let out a long sigh. "It's just.. finally everything seemed to be okay, then he came and.. it just brought everything I've tried to forget back. Mon, I-I don't know if I can do this."

Monica pulled back to look into his eyes. "Do what?"

"This", Chandler said and started pacing the room. "I.. I just can't see him. When I see him, I see you two together. I can't help it."

"You don't have to see him anymore. He said he'd call before coming over, you don't have to be here", Monica protested desperately.

"Then I'd know he'll be here, alone with you.. You know I still can't trust you."

"I swear, I -"

"I'm not saying that anything would necessarily happen but there's the possibility.. And that's not all. My mind keeps making up stuff all the time and it's making me crazy.. It's just too hard."

Monica walked up to him. "You're not leaving me, are you, Chandler?" she asked, her voice trembling slightly.

Chandler took her hands in his. "What about.. if the baby's his. He'd be around all the time. I couldn't take it."

"No, don't. We'll work things out", Monica said, feeling tears coming to her eyes. She hugged him again, tightly. "I love you so much. Don't leave me, please."

"I don't know what to do, Mon", Chandler mumbled in her hair.

"Just.. stay with me", Monica sobbed. "Stay."


Chandler went early to bed that night, right after their friends had left. He didn't want to have another talk with Monica, which he knew was coming if he'd stay up. He didn't have the energy for talking. It wouldn't lead to anything anyway, he knew that. He still didn't know anything and it started to show. Time was running out, and maybe the scariest part was that no one was able to help him. Nobody knew how it all felt. He wasn't that mad at Monica anymore but he was getting really worried about the future. She had said they'd live in the moment, day by day but their friends were right, they had a baby coming. They had to think about the future. And Chandler was afraid they weren't ready to face it.

He tried to sleep, but couldn't. His mind didn't let him. He wondered if this was what going crazy felt like.

The way Monica had reacted earlier that day had freaked him out a little. She really did want him to stay, and much more than he'd thought she would. But he hadn't been even close leaving her yet and he didn't know if he'd have to do that one day, because he knew he couldn't handle it if the baby was Richard's. If it would look like Richard, and he would always come and pick him or her up.. It felt such a.. disgusting thought. He was scared for sure, he was scared he'd have to hurt Monica and make her cry. He was scared he'd have to spend the rest of his life without Monica. He felt trapped and was tired of not knowing what to do. He just wanted everything and everyone just leave him alone for a moment, including his own brain.

He was still wide awake when Monica entered the room about an hour later. He pretended to be asleep as he listened her getting changed and climbing on their bed. He lay there on his back, his eyes closed.

Monica placed a kiss on his forehead before snuggling up next to him. They lay there in silence. "You're not sleeping, are you?" she whispered after a few minutes.

Chandler let out a sigh. "No."

Monica turned her head to look at him. "What's wrong?"

Chandler opened his eyes. "Mon, this isn't working."

He heard Monica inhaling quickly. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean", Chandler said. "We can't just keep pretending that everything's like it used to be. Everything's changed."

Monica studied his face for a minute. "You know.. I'm not letting you run away from this."

Chandler turned to look at her. "I'm not running away."

"Good", Monica said and leaned in to kiss him gently.

Chandler pulled back only a few seconds later. "I'm serious. We can't keep doing this."

"What? Kissing?"

"For example."

"Why?"

"'Cause it's pretending."

"I'm not pretending."

"I am", Chandler said. "And it's not right."

Monica swallowed thickly. "Maybe we should go to couple's therapy", she whispered after moments of silence. It was an idea Phoebe had suggested earlier the same day when Monica had told her and Rachel about Richard's visit and the way Chandler had acted after that. Monica had thought it would be no use but it seemed like they were running out of options.

Chandler sat up. "Therapy?"

"If that's how you feel, yeah."

"How could that possibly help us?" Chandler asked.

"I don't know, that's why we should try it", Monica said.

"But.. we don't need therapy. I don't wanna go telling even more people about our problems."

"That's what I thought at first, too, but-"

"Mon, forget it. I'm not going to therapy."

"Do you love me?"

"Of course."

"Do you wanna be with me?"

Chandler sighed. "Yeah."

"Let's try it, Chandler. One time. If it's not helping, if it's turning us against each other even more than now, we'll stop", Monica said and took his hand in hers.

Chandler shook his head. "Love isn't always enough."

"I know, but we have more than that. We have nothing to lose, why not? Please, for me. For us", Monica said.

"Nothing to lose? We have each other to lose", Chandler said and got up from the bed. "You should've thought about that three months ago."

"I thought you forgave me", Monica said.

"I thought I did too. And maybe I did, but that doesn't mean it's not bothering me. The truth is, I don't know where the line between forgiving and forgetting is. I've tried them both so damn hard, but I'm not proceeding", Chandler said as he was putting his robe on.

"I'm sorry, okay?"

"I know you are, but it doesn't matter."

Monica looked at him for awhile. "Fine. If you want to give this up, leave", she said just as he was about to leave the room.

Chandler stopped and turned to look at her questioningly.

Monica took a deep breath. "Apparently our relationship means much more to me than it does to you. I mean if this isn't even worth going to one therapy session, then go."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying.. I don't have time to wait for you. The baby's not gonna stay in here forever", Monica said and pointed at her bump. "And I don't wanna bring another person into this kind of mess. So if you're saying you're not interested in even trying to make this work, it's better you leave now."

Chandler stared at her, shocked. "What.. Are you kidding me?"

"I am certainly not", Monica said, ignoring his gaze to not make herself break.

"Hey, just a minute ago you said you won't let me run away from this", Chandler said.

"Well if this is your attitude towards our relationship and the future of this baby, I can't stop you. I-I thought we were finally happy again but now you're telling me you were just pretending?"

"Yes! Do you really think that this is what I wanted? I want everything to be perfect just as bad as you do. But it seems to me that's not possible so maybe I really should leave, and you don't -"

"Oh my God", Monica cut him off.

"What? Did you change your mind again?" Chandler asked, annoyed.

"Oh my God", Monica said. "Chandler, I think the baby just kicked."

"What?" Chandler asked, his tone completely different.

"I think the baby just kicked!" Monica repeated excitedly. Chandler ran next to their bed where she was lying, and put his hand on her belly. They waited a few seconds until the baby kicked again. "Oh my God! Do you feel that?" Monica laughed.

Chandler nodded. "Yeah I do! Is this the first time?"

"Of course this is the first time!"

"Wow.." Chandler smiled. "There's really someone in there."

"I know.."

They sat there for a long time, waiting for the baby to kick again, and neither of them said another word that night.


Never a bad time for some drama, right?

What do you think, what's gonna happen next?