So this is my attempt to go back to comedic writing. I apologize.
Disclaimer: KH is not mine, and I give a nod of appreciation to its creator.
Entry
Sora scribbles in his journal, quietly writing as Goofy is chased around the Gummy Ship by Donald wielding a flaming toothbrush in one hand and Goofy's own shield in the other. As much as Sora would have loved to know what was going on, he realizes his limitations that a, he'd probably only make it worse since Donald didn't trust him due to the whole crashing in the Jungle incident, and b, Goofy could handle it eventually. So he continues to write, occasionally asking Jiminy how to spell something or whether or not he could swear in this journal because no one else would be reading it but him.
Luckily, Jiminy totally agreed with the swearing.
Dear Journal,
Hi, it's me again, Sora. I know it's been a while but I've had lots to do lately, you know rescuing Kairi and Riku, saving the Princesses, defeating the Heartless and Nobodies and all that fun stuff. I'm getting pretty good at all of this. Anyway, I figured I should fill you in with all the up to date information, giving you MY side of the whole thing since Jiminy's got the whole get the fact straight thing down in his journal.
I mean, ever since Namine did her little witchcraft voo-doo thing with my mind back in that Castle (still... fuzzy on that...) I want to make sure that I'm the one who remembers what happened.
So uh, Journal (or can I call you Bob? I've always liked that name) I guess I should start filling you in. Sorry for writing on your face, but Jiminy says it's good for me to be able to write my thoughts down. I think he thinks I'm Pinocchio and stop reading over my shoulder, I told you that no one could read this but me! … Conscience my big red short covered- Okay, okay! I won't say that one. Hiney. Dammit, I hate being in an E-rated game!
Anyway, just last week I was in the Coliseum. Yup, you heard that one right, I was in the Olympic Games. I felt pretty awesome. So uh, it all started when we met up with Hercules again (he got a girlfriend! Ommygosh! She's so pretty. :D) and found that there's a whole new tournament down in the Underworld. Of course me being the awesome person that I am (just kidding, that's Riku's job to be all... what's the word? Snobby? Egotistical?) wanted to run down there and get signed up. And so we did after we found some guy in black running away (Okay... that was weird) and got back the golden thingy that lets us not die down there. I really like the golden thingy. Oh, medallion? That's what it's called? And now I feel stupid, thank you Jiminy. … He said I'm welcome.
So we signed up for the Pain Cup and we kicked butt, as usual. Heartless or Nobody, they couldn't beat the amazing power of Teamwork!
Sora pauses here for a moment, biting the tip of his pencil before scribbling down a few more lines.
On an unrelated note to the concussion I got from slamming into one of the walls by a Heartless, I can now taste the color purple. Goofy is insanely jealous and keeps giving me purple things to try. Donald says to stop lying. Like it's MY fault that purple doesn't taste like grape. You'd think so but it actually tastes like lime sherbert. Which is awesome cause I love ice cream. … Roxas says to note that sea salt is the best, bar none and that I keep misspelling words. … Shut up, Roxas.
He started it, Jiminy! Tell him to get out of my head!
Anyway... We finished up that tournament, I beat Leon and Yuffie... again... and I realized something. Why don't they ever help me? I mean, they're super badass (sorry!) warriors, right? So why don't they ever just pack all their stuff and get in the Gummy ship with me? … Roxas, it's not because of my foot fungus, that was cured. … You try wearing size seventeen BRIGHT YELLOW shoes and not get foot fungus when you're running through freakin' water INSIDE OF A WHALE. … Yeah, I thought so. Shut up. I think I won that argument, one point for Sora! :D
And seventeen for Roxas. Dammit. I'm catching up though.
Oh yeah, I should probably explain who Roxas is, Journal, since you haven't met him before. Roxas, say hi. He says hi. Isn't he polite? Roxas is my other half. My Nobody. That word is so sad to use, he's not a nobody at all. In fact, he's voiced by Jesse McCartney. … Roxas says to get on with it. Okay, so apparently I got turned into a Heartless during my first adventure (and no one thought to ask me whether or not I wanted to) and by losing my Heart, I created two Nobodies. One of them is a girl. … Roxas likes her. OW! He hit me! He mind hit me!
I'm telling Jiminy on you, Roxas. … I don't care if he can't do anything, he'll tell you off. He's my conscious. So anyway... I have two Nobodies – wait, what? I don't? But you said that Namine was created through me. … Oh. Okay, if you say so Roxas. Roxas is so smart. Apparently I was a condiet (conduit?) for Kairi's Heart, and since she's a Princess of Heart with no Darkness in her, she used MY heart to make Namine. So Namine is like... Kairi and me's kid. … COOOL. I'm a dad. Should I pay child support? OW! Stop hitting me, Roxas! … Roxas says to put that Namine is in no way my child, that I'm not a dad and that she is simply Kairi's Nobody made with MY heart because Kairi's has no darkness in which to create a Heartless with.
He's just mad that he's macking on his sister.
Sora, despite how quiet he had previously been while writing, suddenly sits up straight and lets out a very loud yell. Donald and Goofy in the midst of their toothpaste on fire battle turn to look at him as the Keyblade Master slams his head into the wall, yelling at someone called "Roxas" to stop being a jerk as Jiminy starts pulling on Sora's hair to cut it out and to be nice to each other. Within a few minutes (and one black eye later) Sora manages to calm down and talk to himself nicely, scowling as he picks up his pencil again and keeps writing.
You started it, Roxas.
Did not.
Did too and I win because I'm the hero.
Never wanted to be the hero but I'm still a better one than you. :)
"Both of you cut it out!" Jiminy snaps as Sora stiffens up in his chair and looks warily at the little cricket. There is a moment of suspicion between the brunet and the insect, one in which they glare at each other long enough to peer into each other's souls. Sora sighs before twirling the pencil in his hand, managing to spin around his thumb with the skill of an expert gunslinger before writing down one last phrase in his journal.
Namine liked me first. :3
Sora is thrown to the ground as an invisible force (or maybe just himself) starts strangling him, causing Donald and Goofy to run over and pin the boy's hands to his sides before he hurt himself too badly. Sora wiggles violently in his friend's grasps, spews out a few garbled words that sounded like he was possessed or seriously pissed off at himself, and then just lies there with a weak breathing pattern. He sounds like he had just been forced to hike in the countryside with bags of weight on his shoulders, and he had already done that in the previous world so they knew what they were talking about on that aspect. Sora mutters softly to himself, smiling slightly when Donald puts a Gravity spell on him so he couldn't move.
"Two points for Sora..."
