In Search of a Fanfic

The girl leaned back in her chair, her brown eyes narrowing slightly on the laptop that lay haphazardly on her brother's desk. As if understanding its mistress' silent rage, the computer quietly turned off its screen and fell silent. Even the surprisingly cheerful music about ghostly children waiting in order to gather up souls and kill their victims couldn't make the authoress smile.

For this authoress was a girl named ForbiddenKHFan216, otherwise known as Forbidden or even Biddy. And she was pissed the hell off.

"Alright…" She muttered quietly before grabbing her mouse and dragging it upwards. The computer clicked back on and Forbidden went back to scrolling down the website. "Alright, so I just found like, ten pages of yaoi fanfics… doesn't mean they're all yaoi or yuri, right?" Forbidden said with a soft sigh, daring to hope that perhaps she was wrong.

Maybe she was wrong and there was actually some good adventure fanfics on her site. She could use a good adventure, even a comedy. She could definitely read a horror. Hell at this point she'd read one of the yaoi ones as long as it didn't hammer Riku's or Sora's or Axel's, or the heavens forbid Xemnas' or Vexen's fictional… er… 'members' in her face!

"'AxelxRoxas, RikuXSora, KairiXdeadrat. ... couldn't say I didn't see that one coming, to be honest... DemyxxZexion, XemnasXSaix… uh… Namine with everyone in the … entire game, what, really? That's a thing?"

After a few minutes of talking to herself and reading the various pairing names out loud, she got up and picked up a silver PVC pipe that had been designed for a cosplay she had never finished. Forbidden hoisted it up on her shoulder, turned around and walked back to her computer. Despite having been blathering to herself nonstop for the last hour she had been searching for something to read, she was completely silent as she lifted her pipe up past her head.

The poor computer really had no idea what it had coming.


An ordinary day on Destiny Islands was a simple routine.

Everyone got up at about dawn, walked together down to the docks to see off their fathers (or brothers or even uncles sometimes) off when they went to work on the fishing boats, and then went back home to eat breakfast. Sometimes the islanders got together on the docks and waved to their loved ones as they sailed off. That usually happened on festival days, when the fishermen would be back well before their normal dusk quitting time to enjoy their half-day off with their families.

There was really no reason to complain about the routine, unless you were one of the three kids that had stayed up all night smacking trees around.

Riku leaned on Sora's shoulder, half-snoring as he lifted up a hand and waved weakly to his relatives climbing up a ladder to their family's boat. Kairi leaned against Sora's other side, sleeping peacefully against the young Keyblade master's chest. Sora himself was snoring but somehow able to wave his hand in a half-purposeful good bye. "Bye… don't forget to write…" He mumbled sleepily as he dozed against his best friend's head. After a moment, his father turned around and saw the sleeping teenager.

With a devilish grin that perfectly matched his goof ball of a child's, Sora's father went into the captain's cabin, grabbed a chain hanging from the ceiling, and yanked that son of a bitch like he was trying to win a gold medal for yanking chains.

A loud, horrifically loud, just absolutely terribly loud noise that could have woken up even the deadliest and most asleep sea monsters from their watery graves blasted through the horn. The deep screech made everyone on the dock jump and slam their hands onto their eyes, save the three that were half-asleep.

The only thing that the three kids did was look up, yawn, and then settle back against the tree Sora was leaning against and back onto each other in a little ball of warmth. "Oh for crying out loud!" Sora's father complained as he glared out his window at the sleeping trio.

Wait… a second…?

His eyes narrowed as a girl – who most definitely didn't live on the island due to the black coat and baggy jeans that no self-respecting island girl would wear – appeared behind the tree with a long silver pipe in hand. She turned to look at him for a brief moment before lifting her pipe-wielding hand up and bitch-slapping Riku with all the force she could muster up.

With a startled scream, the silver headed teen smacked his head against the tree, slammed into Sora's cheek, knocked Kairi over, and then finally sent all three tumbling into the sand with such a loud clatter of noise that Sora's dad could hear it all the way on the boat.

"All the fucking fanfiction's your fault, Riku!"

"Go to hell! Go bother Axel, Maria!"

"You know what, I just might have if it wasn't for the fact that you're an asswipe! This is all your fault, you're why I can't find a damn adventure WITHOUT YOU SHOVING GERBILS UP SORA'S ASS AND KAIRI AND NAMINE MAKING OUT IN IT!"

"This is the first time in a long time you've inserted yourself in one of your stories... AND YOU CHOOSE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ME HAVING SEX WITH SORA?!"

"No, I'm choosing to complain that I can't find something to read that doesn't have you and Sora boning, you and Roxas boning, you and Axel boning! I don't want to read about sex! I want an adventure or something gruesome! Is that too much to ask?! I think what I'm trying to say is... YOU ARE THE WHORE OF THIS SERIES AND THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. Find me something to read and maybe we wouldn't be having this conversation, emo boy!"

Sora's dad quickly decided that he didn't want to know why Riku and the girl were yelling at the top of their lungs about gay sex, lesbians, and his son. There were just some things a father never wanted fully described to him.

And gerbils, he found out, were his limit.


Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts is no way mine, and I apologize for the slight OCC of Riku in this.

... I feel better now. I'm gonna go back to trying to find something to read.