Hello there you wonderful people! Thank you thank you thank youuu :) I can't say that enough. And as surprising as it is, I'm still alive and right here! I'm once again really sorry that it's taken so long to update this, but in my defense, this chapter wasn't really easy to write for some reason.

Guest ~ So yeah, actually there are only 26 chapters now, and that's because those two London chapters are just one chapter. Chapter 22 is part one, and 23 is part two. Believe me, I kinda regret splitting it up 'cause it's nothing but confusing.

Anyways, my summer break has officially begun... two weeks ago. :D So yay for that.
I have a really long chapter for ya though, the longest I've ever written. I hope you'll enjoy :)


Chapter 26

The next day, Monica was sitting on the edge of the bed she shared with Chandler. She was alone in the apartment; Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross had already left and all moved out, and Chandler was spending time across the hall with Joey. That was okay to her since she needed some time to herself and her thoughts.

Monica still wasn't sure if she had used protection with Richard. She thought she had, of course. That's what any responsible adult would do, and even though she hadn't really acted like a responsible adult back then, Richard had. At least that's what she hoped, and assumed.. but she wasn't sure. Was it responsible to sleep with your ex because your current boyfriend you're in love with talks about pig sex over lunch? And was it responsible to sleep with your drunken ex who's clearly seeing someone else at the moment?

She wanted to blame it on alcohol, on the situation, on Richard, even on Chandler. Even though she knew that it was all her fault, it wasn't so easy to stop making excuses in her head in attempt to start feeling better about herself. But it just made her feel worse, selfish and pathetic. Pathetic, 'cause she felt like still after six months she couldn't face the facts properly.

She stared at the phone in front of her. She needed to make the call and make sure that she didn't have to break Chandler's heart again, and her own. One thing she was sure about; if this didn't go well, she could and would lose his trust forever.

Exhaling heavily, Monica picked up the phone and dialed her ex-lover's number.

It rang a couple of times before a familiar voice filled her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, Richard... It's me," Monica said hesitantly.

"Monica? Hey," Richard said, sounding cheerful. "How are you?"

"I.. I'm okay," she said quietly. "Is this a bad time?"

"No, not at all. What's up, is everything okay?" His tone changed, becoming uneasy. "Is there... something wrong with the baby?"

"No. Everything's fine, really," Monica said before letting out a sigh. "I just have something I need to ask you about."

"Oh.. okay," Richard said, a long, awkward silence following as Monica kept hesitating. "I'm all ears," he added after a moment.

"Okay, Richard..." Monica said finally. She needed to know what had happened. "Do you, um.. do you remember anything about the night we... spent together six months ago?"

She heard him letting out a nervous laugh. "Why are you asking this?"

"Just.. please, just answer."

He sighed. "Yeah, I remember."

"Really?" Monica asked, nervous and hopeful at the same time. "Well, I was just wondering... Do you happen to remember if we used protection or not?" She closed her eyes tightly, waiting for his response.

"Why?" Richard asked after what seemed like eternity. "Why do you need to know?"

"Well, isn't it obvious? I want to know what the chances are."

"And you don't remember?"

"No," Monica said, embarrassed. "Why else would I be calling you anyway?"

"I don't know," Richard sighed. "Look, Monica, if I really did remember about the condom, don't you think I would've told you already?"

"What do you mean? You don't remember?" Monica asked in disbelief.

"No, I don't," Richard said.

Monica took a moment to let it sink in. They were back to the start - they had no proof. If she had just shut up and not said things that she wasn't even sure about...

"Is everything alright?" Monica heard Richard's voice through the phone.

"No," Monica said honestly. "How can you not remember?"

"Well, obviously we were both drunk."

"I know that, but it's different," Monica said. "For the past six months I've been trying my hardest to forget that memory. You haven't, 'cause you loved me."

"Yes, but I've moved on. I realize this is important to you but like you said, it's been six months. You don't have to think back."

"Believe me, I don't want to," Monica said before letting out a sigh. "Richard, I'm screwed."

"I know."

"No, you don't," Monica said quickly. "I.. I told Chandler that I used a condom with you, even though I wasn't sure. I mean I thought I was, but I'm not anymore. Then I swore that I would never lie to him again.. I'm telling you, he's never going to forgive me."

Monica still couldn't believe she had gotten herself into this kind of mess. "I don't know what happened to me, I just keep on lying without even noticing," she said. "I'm gonna lose him."

Richard didn't know what to say, he really didn't want to meddle.

Soon Monica realized who she'd been talking to. "Oh.. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have bored you with all that.. Well, thanks for listening anyway," she said. "I have to go now. You know, need to come clean with Chandler, so... bye."

"Good luck, Monica," Richard said and added, "he's a jerk if he leaves. Trust me, he will regret it."

Monica sighed. "Thanks, but.. I don't think so. I'm the one having regrets."

She hung up the phone silently and placed it back on the nightstand. She buried her face in her hands, wanting to cry but the tears wouldn't come. She really was going to regret all of this for the rest of her life. She couldn't believe this was how she was having her first child. She didn't want her baby to be an accident, or a mistake. Hopefully it wasn't a mistake - no. It couldn't be.

She felt like she didn't deserve Chandler and had no idea how to manage without him. She kept searching for the reason to all of this, but she couldn't find it. All she could find was her own wrong actions and mistakes. And once again, because of them she needed to confront Chandler and risk everything they had.. or hadn't.

Monica got up from the bed, ready to go find her fiance. She walked out of the bedroom, and found him sooner and closer than expected. As soon as she opened the door, she was startled to find him sitting beside the window, staring blankly outside.

"Hey.. There you are," Monica said quietly with a slight smile on her face.

As he didn't even react in any way, it didn't take long for her to realize that he had heard the conversation. Monica looked at him for a minute before sitting down opposite him.

"You heard that phone call... right?" she asked tentatively.

Chandler still didn't look at her, he just showed her the phone he'd been holding in his lap. Monica looked at him in actual fear - he needed to say something. But he didn't.

"I just want you to know, I didn't lie on purpose. I mean.. I didn't mean to lie to you, I really thought it was true. But after ignoring the memory for so long, I just couldn't see it clearly, and I still can't. I'm so, so, so sorry-"

"I'm sick and tired of your apologies, Mon," Chandler muttered, cutting her off. "Stop saying you're sorry when you're not. And even if you really were, it wouldn't make any difference."

"I am genuinely sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me lately, I'm just so confused," Monica said.

"You're confused? You're not the one who's been lied to for all this time," Chandler said, his tone still surprisingly mellow. "For a minute I thought I had a child, for crying out loud, and now it's just taken away. You don't know how that feels."

"You're right, I don't," Monica admitted. "But trust me, I would do anything for another chance."

Chandler shook his head, and for a moment both of them thought it meant 'no', until he spoke again. "First of all, you could stop playing with my feelings," he said simply.

Monica nodded silently as she waited for the next condition.

Chandler thought about it, and thought about it. He knew exactly what he wanted, but what he didn't know was that if he was ready for it. Finally, he felt like there were no other options. "I want the whole truth," he said.

"The whole truth?" Monica frowned. "I've already told you everything."

"Nope, you haven't," Chandler said, finally his eyes meeting hers. "I want the whole story. What happened on our engagement night?"

Monica gave him a confused look.

"On our first engagement night," Chandler clarified.

"You mean, between me and Richard..?"

"Yeah," Chandler said, sounding oddly determined.

"I told you, I don't remember much," Monica said.

"I know, but I'm sure you remember more than me," Chandler said. "And I bet Richard knows even more."

"What? We're going to see him?"

"Yup," Chandler said and got up. "Right now. I'm guessing it's okay to you and him since you sounded pretty close-"

"Oh please," Monica cut him off. "You know I haven't even talked to him in over two months!"

"You would know."

"Ha ha," Monica said. "Why do you just have to keep teasing me about that? Yeah, fine, I slept with him six months ago, but you would think that you already know that I have no feelings for him!"

"Yeah, you would. But then you start lying again and I feel like you're actually begging me to leave you," Chandler said.

Monica looked at him in disbelief. "That's ridiculous," she said, getting up.

"Is it?"

A silence filled the room for a moment.

Monica rolled her eyes. "Yes, it is. Because I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she said and put her hands on his shoulders. "Why else would I have said 'yes' to your proposal?"

Chandler shrugged. "Both of them."

"Even better," Monica smiled sweetly.

He looked at her for a moment. "So this is what it feels like, huh?"

"What?"

"Having to forgive someone too often," he said. "I mean, I think we both know this was supposed to be the other way around, you know."

"No," Monica shook her head. "I think we both make mistakes. This time, I made many big ones with major consequences."

Chandler nodded knowingly before smiling at her. Before she knew, he leaned in and kissed her passionately. She was surprised, but it didn't take long until she sunk into it. She wrapped her arms around his neck instinctively when he started slowly backing her towards their bedroom door. But before they reached it, the kiss was over.

Chandler pulled away in the need of air. Monica looked at him in suprise. "And what was that for?" she asked, her breathing shallow.

"We did it twice," Chandler said with a smile.

"Okay... Is it just me or have we actually done it more than twice?" Monica cocked an eyebrow.

Chandler rolled his eyes. "On the night we first got engaged, we did it twice. You and Richard only did it once... right?"

"Oh yes," Monica nodded. "Believe me, that I'm sure about."

"Great! That gives us a head start," Chandler grinned, before turning serious. "Wow, did you hear that? Richard and you had sex and I said 'great'?! I'm making progress!"

Monica frowned. "You're weird," she said, marveling his great attitude. "How can you be so positive?"

"I dunno," Chandler shrugged. "Maybe I got tired of being so bitter all the time."

Monica smiled at him appreciatively. "Come on, weird boy," she tugged at his hand.

"What, where?" Chandler asked.

"To the bedroom to finish that kiss," she winked at him.

"No."

Monica turned to look at him as if he'd just killed someone. "Excuse me? I don't understand."

"We're gonna go to Richard's, remember?"

Monica shook her head in disbelief. "Still?"

"Of course," Chandler said and went to get their coats.

"Damn it," Monica rolled her eyes. "Apparently you'd rather go see him than have sex with me. Should I be jealous?"

Chandler gave her a look as he handed her her coat.

"Fine," Monica pouted and took it.

It was going to be a long day - they both knew it. But as they left the apartment, Monica didn't let go of Chandler's hand.


Moments later they arrived in the right building. Even though it had been months since the last time they'd been there, they had no problem finding Richard's apartment. In front of it, they shared a brief look with each other. This was it, the moment of truth. Chandler reached out his fist to knock on Richard's door, but Monica stopped him.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" she asked.

"No. I need to do this," Chandler corrected. "And even if I didn't... we came all the way here..! I'm not backing down now."

Monica sighed. "Fine, but remember that I love you."

Chandler rolled his eyes, but couldn't help giving her a slight smile in attempt to tell her not to worry. She returned the smile nervously before he finally knocked on the door.

Chandler had been thinking about doing this for a long time. He hadn't talked about it to Monica because he hadn't been really sure if he was ready for it. He certainly did not want to do this, but he had to. He needed to know exactly what had led to what, and why. It wasn't going to be easy, sitting there and being humiliated by the woman he loved and the man he hated. But he needed to know just as much as they did.

It seemed like forever until the door opened.

"Hi!" Richard said before even noticing who they were. And when he finally did, a puzzled expression took over his face.

"Hi," Monica and Chandler said in unison.

"Monica.. and Chandler. Why are you here?" Richard asked.

The two shared an awkward look. "Well.. we decided-"

"You decided," Monica corrected.

"I decided," Chandler said, "that it'd be for the best if I heard the whole story."

"The whole story?" Richard frowned.

"Well, um..."

"He wants to hear exactly what happened between you and me," Monica explained quickly.

"Thank you," Chandler glared at her.

"Really? Okay..." Richard said hesitantly.

"I mean, if it's not a bad time or anything," Monica added.

"Oh, I wish it was," Richard sighed. "Come on in, then.. I guess."

"Thanks," Monica said as she stepped into the apartment with Chandler, still holding hands with each other.

"Wow.. I wasn't expecting this," Richard said and closed the door.

"Me neither," Chandler and Monica said in unison - again.

"Would you like anything to drink, or..?"

"No thanks," Monica said with a smile.

"Yeah, do you have anything ridiculously strong -" Chandler started.

"He's fine," Monica cut him off. Chandler gave her a look - he certainly wasn't feeling fine.

"Okay.. Make yourselves comfortable," Richard said politely, leading them towards the couch.

Chandler gave Monica an alarmed look after they sat down. "You didn't do it on this couch, did you?"

Monica rolled her eyes. "No."

Chandler nodded in relief. However, his nervous expression didn't have time to soften as it turned to one of resent when Richard joined them on the couch.

"Hey, I've just decided to try not to hate you," Chandler frowned. "Could you make it a little bit easier for me by not sitting next to my fiancee?"

"Oh my god, Chandler," Monica ran her fingers through her silky hair in frustration.

Chandler shrugged helplessly.

"That's okay, I understand," Richard said and sat on an armchair instead. "Well.. this is going to be awkward, for sure," he stated then.

"Tell me something I don't know," Chandler said. Monica kicked him in the leg, causing him to yelp in pain.

"One more comment like that and I'm outta here," she warned him.

It was Chandler's turn to roll his eyes. "Fine," he said and leaned his back on the couch. "I'm ready to listen... quietly."

And he did so. He stayed quiet throughout the whole thing, and didn't even make eye contact with Monica as she and Richard talked about.. well, everything. He just kept staring into space. It was almost as if he wasn't even listening what they were saying.. but he was, and it hurt.


On their way home, Chandler still didn't say a thing. Monica tried to study his face, but it didn't tell much. When they finally reached their building, she decided to try and talk to him.

"So.. are you okay?"

Chandler looked up at her. "Sure. I mean, it was a little weird but I'm fine. It wasn't all that bad."

"Come on Chandler, I know that's not how you really feel," Monica groaned. "Even I felt really uncomfortable. If you keep pretending, you'll end up going crazy."

"Wow, that helps," Chandler joked before turning serious. "Well, yeah. I hate this, I hate Richard.. and I kinda wish I could hate you too."

Monica let out a sigh. "You still think it was for the best, getting to know everything?"

"I don't know.. Yeah, I guess," Chandler shrugged. "But it's not like it was a great experience or anything. But I'm just glad that you didn't remember more details."

"I know.. Well, at least we got to know that Richard and I used protection," Monica said as they entered their apartment.

"Yeah.." Chandler said absently and closed the door behind them.

They had really found out about that; Richard had finally recalled it. Monica had been, and still was very happy about that, but Chandler's expression hadn't changed a bit.. and that had worried her.

Monica turned to him after taking off her jacket. "What? You're not excited about becoming a daddy?" she smiled, taking his hands in hers.

Chandler smirked briefly. "I am.. I just don't wanna get my hopes up too high again."

"Chandler, trust me on this one. I am carrying your child," Monica grinned happily, bringing his hand to her stomach. "This baby right here, it's yours."

Chandler smiled, feeling the bump with his palm. In his mind, he didn't want to take it for granted, but he was happy to see Monica so happy. He leaned in to peck on her lips, but she didn't leave it at that. She lingered and deepened it, kept running her fingers thourgh his hair.. until he pulled back.

"Look, Mon-"

"Okay," Monica cut him off. "I get turned down twice a day, that is not a good sign."

"No, it's not like that. It's not your fault, it's me."

Monica nodded understandingly. "Oh.. Okay, I understand, you're not in the mood after.. you know," she said, sounding surprisingly okay with it.

"Yeah.. Sorry," Chandler said.

"No, it's okay. It's just, I'm just really happy right now," Monica said with a smile.

"I know," Chandler smiled too.

"And don't worry, it's gonna be fine. We'll sort things out in our next therapy session."

Chandler let out a sigh. "Just when I thought I couldn't be less horny."

Monica grinned, before turning more serious. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No.. I don't think so," Chandler shrugged.

"Sorry," Monica sighed disappointedly. "Well.. I'm going to bed. Are you coming?"

"Not yet. I'm just gonna stay here for a while.."

"Okay.." Monica said, smiling slightly. "Goodnight," she said before heading to their bedroom.

"Night," Chandler said quietly.

He sighed in desperation as he sat down in the kitchen. He buried his face in his hands, once again thinking just how complicated, unfair and different this all was. His whole life was so different, and it had changed way too quickly. Now, he felt more confused than ever. But he still believed that it was all worth it, it was going to be okay. But was it? No one could know, not for sure.

His thoughts were interrupted by Rachel as she entered the apartment in her pajamas. She seemed surprised to find Chandler sitting in the kitchen.

"Oh, hi," she smiled and walked to the fridge, taking a carton of milk. "I just got this weird craving for milk," she said, and poured it into a glass. As she noticed that Chandler didn't say anything, didn't pay the slightest attention to her, she sat down. "Is everything alright?"

Chandler looked up. "Yeah," he said.

"Okay," Rachel said. She didn't buy it, but didn't want to push. "So, Joey and I are having a movie marathon, you wanna join us?"

"Nah, I don't really feel like watching a movie..."

"Okay, what's wrong? Just tell me," Rachel sighed. "You can talk to me. I mean, duh, it's me!"

Chandler let out a heavy sigh again. He really didn't feel like talking to Rachel, even though he knew it could help. But obviously she wouldn't give in, so he started explaining. "Monica and I went to Richard's today, 'cause... I felt like I needed to hear the whole story, you know. How exactly they ended up having sex, and how exactly they had sex..."

"Aw, sweetie," Rachel hugged him comfortingly.

"Yeah.. I thought it would make things easier, but obviously it didn't," Chandler said melancholically. "And now I can't even sleep with Monica 'cause I'm so aware of how they did it. I know it's been a long time, but I'm just still not okay with this.. I just can't accept it."

"As a person who's been cheated on, I can tell you that you will never, ever be okay with this," Rachel said.

"What? Really?"

"Yeah. Still, every time I look at Ross, I remember 'that's the person who once betrayed me'. Because that's the truth, he really did betray me," Rachel said honestly. "And I will never forget it. But in spite of that, I'm so glad you guys forced us to get along, because now he's such a good friend of mine. I have no feelings for him now, but I know he's a really, really great guy and I love him. I mean yesterday, he was so sweet when-"

"Really? No feelings for him?" Chandler cut her off.

Rachel rolled her eyes, ignoring his comment. "Even though Ross and I didn't make it as a couple, that doesn't mean that you and Monica won't. To this day, Ross hasn't even taken full responsibility of his actions. Monica on the other hand, she did it immediately. She knows what she's done, Chandler."

"I know, and I've forgiven her. But our relationship.. it's changed, because of this. And it's hard to get used to it, you know?"

"Yeah, I think I do. It's not easy, but it'll be okay. It's gonna be different anyway, when the baby comes."

"Yeah, that's true..." Chandler mused.

"Exactly. Now, go! Go there and have sex with your wife!" Rachel's hand flew to her mouth as she realized what she'd said. "Oops.. don't freak out. I meant fiancee."

Chandler rolled his eyes. "Do you see me freaking out?"

"No," Rachel glared at him playfully. "Just go!"

Chandler smiled and put his hand on hers, squeezing it briefly. "Thanks again, Rach," he said. "You've been such a great friend during these crappy months."

"No problem. That's what friends are for, right?" Rachel said, returning his smile before he got up and ran into the bedroom.

Chandler entered the room quietly, hoping that Monica wouldn't notice - and she didn't. He was glad to find her awake, even though she was reading a book. She was facing away from him, and for some reason she was lying on his side of the bed. Chandler tiptoed closer before scrambling onto the bed and taking the book from Monica.

"Hey!" she squealed and kicked him in the leg in surprise.

"Ow!" Chandler yelped.

"Oh, it's you," Monica said in relief, turning to face him.

"Of course it's me," Chandler said. "How many times have you kicked me today?"

Monica shrugged. "Not even that many.. sorry," she smiled. "So, what's up? And where's my book? The main character was just about to sleep with a hooker and I really want to know how that turns out."

"Maybe I could sleep with you instead," Chandler smiled and drew her closer.

Monica looked at him, surprised. "I thought you didn't feel like it."

"I changed my mind.." Chandler said and kissed her lips briefly.

"Screw the damn book!" Monica exclaimed happily. "You better give me some of your best moves."

Chandler grinned widely to her. "Just try not to kick me a lot," he said.

"Maybe just a little, then," Monica said before he kissed her again.


Rachel smiled to herself as she heard giggling from Chandler and Monica's bedroom. She was glad to be helping them out, and was surprised to find that she was actually pretty good at it. She got up and put the glass into the sink before heading across the hall, leaving the couple alone in their apartment.

She really had been a supportive friend to both Monica and Chandler, probably more supportive than the others put together. But she had just lied to Chandler about her feelings for someone. And that someone was Ross. Yes, she was still in love with Ross, which seemed ridiculous. But it was true, and the worst part was; that wasn't the only secret she had. She'd been keeping something from all of her friends for several months now, and wanted to tell them. She wanted to tell everyone, but it still wasn't the right time. She didn't want to steal Monica's thunder again, or anything like that. She wanted to be a supportive friend. The attention was totally on Monica and Chandler - that's why no one had even noticed the fact that Rachel hadn't used any alcohol or even her tighter clothes in a long time.


MWAHAHAHAHAHA..!

Excuse me.. It's just that, I wasn't expecting that to happen. The idea popped into my mind like five minutes ago, I thought about it for about five seconds and decided that it would be interesting... so, here we are.

But I need to ask you, do you want to read the part where Monica and Richard tells Chandler everything? Well, it's not like I'm gonna write the sex scene, but you know, the things before and after that. 'Cause at first I was about to write it, but it turned out to be so long and everything so I decided to skip it. But I could add it, so if you really want to read it, let me know.

Please leave a review and let me know what you think.. I mean it's 5AM, after all. And it's Courteney Cox's birthday! And yes, I am fishing for reviews in all kinds of ways.